#not that weird itchy stretchy fabric i hate

[omarfor-orchestra]

Btw my mom and my sister bought me boxers made for people with a vagina and let me tell y'all. I'm living.

[undercoverautistic]

Sensory bullshit

DISCLAIMER: These are the areas where I PERSONALLY struggle with sensory integration. I can’t speak for everyone with autism- we’re all different! Please don’t make assumptions about how an individual might experience the world, but be mindful and compassionate when you learn something new about them. 

Of all the weird quirks that come with having Autism, the sensory stuff is what gets to me the most. I’ve gotten good at hiding it but I feel everything really deeply and it can get to me when I’m tired or overwhelmed. Here are some things that can get to me:

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- Sight: bright lights. Flickering neon, fluorescent lights. Really bright sunshine can sometimes bother me as well. I love sunshine but it can be a lot sometimes.

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- Sound: Noise bothers me A LOT.  Noises fill my head and can be a massive distraction. Sharp noises startle me. The sound of cars speeding past my house. Airplanes overhead. Gusts of wind can be particularly distracting. I HATE when my roommates run the vacuum. I can’t get anything done or think clearly when someone’s running a vacuum or producing a loud noise- I often have to wait for loud noises to pass until I can complete my train of thought. Lawnmowers and household appliances like washing machines, dryers, dishwashers, fans, air conditioners all fall into that category, as well as loud music and TV that I’m not watching/listening to.

My hearing is exceptionally good- I can recognize certain songs that are playing far away from where I am, and can easily make out what people are saying at a distance (at least better than most people). I’m TERRIBLE when it comes to eavesdropping, I’m always listening to everything around me and can hear what you’re saying even if you don’t think I’m listening. As much as I try, I can’t turn it off. I tend to travel with earplugs and noise-cancelling earbuds because the noise of the outside world can sometimes be too much.  When I was in grad school I needed to wear earplugs IN THE LIBRARY in order to focus on my work. I kept a pair of the heavy-duty foam earplugs and the silicone musicians’ earplugs on me at all times, depending on the degree of noise reduction that I needed. Most people consider a library quiet but the little sounds around me were too much of a distraction. 

Oddly enough, I love live music and events, but I often have to isolate myself for a bit before and after going out.

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- Tactile/touch: Cold air really bothers me. I’ll get goosebumps all over my arms and legs if it’s below 70 degrees Fahrenheit, without fail. I can’t stand rain or snow hitting me in the face. Can’t wear wool or itchy fabrics directly against my skin. I wear pretty fitted clothing in general but I hate wearing tight clothes when I don’t have to (I think most people are like this though). Tight waistbands on pants and shorts can really bother me too, but oddly enough I need to wear bras with a snug band (like, it leaves a mark when I take it off) because I can’t stand my boobs moving around too much. Can’t stand most synthetic fabrics like polyester either- it feels like I’m suffocating while wearing plastic. Seams and tags on clothing don’t really bother me but the collars on crew neck t-shirts sometimes do. Improperly fitting clothing drives me crazy- those stretchy racer back sports bras are quite possibly THE MOST PAINFUL garment of all time- I need to wear sports bras that have hook closures like a normal bra because the straps on racerback bras that are loose around my ribcage can hurt my shoulders. Sunglasses can hurt my ears and the bridge of my nose. I can’t wear hard headbands and almost never wear hair accessories because they dig into my scalp. Can’t wear tight hairstyles either. I also have dry skin and it can be painful if I don’t wear enough moisturizer, and I can’t stand the feeling of sticky lip gloss. 

I used to hate showering as a child- the feeling of water hitting my face was painful and overwhelming and I would scream and yell when my mom tried to make me take showers, but I grew out of that quickly. As an adult, I’m a clean freak and hate feeling sweaty and gross- I don’t like when my skin feels “sticky”. I also can’t stand the feeling of prickly leg hair and need to shave my legs every day even though I got laser hair removal a while back (I still have a little leg hair but the laser hair removal helped with this DRASTICALLY. I HIGHLY recommend it if your leg hair is giving you sensory issues, it’s so worth it). I also hate sitting on hard chairs and seats. Can’t stand it when other people touch me-  I can do hugs and stuff like that but the physical intimacy that comes with dating can be overwhelming. 

On the flip side, I’ve always loved the feeling of heavy pressure and feeling “squished” and have been sleeping with a weighted blanket for years, to the point where I have trouble sleeping without it. I think this is fairly typical for people on the spectrum though. 

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- Taste: Not too many issues here. I’ve always been a picky eater but I’ve gotten better about this over the years. I love spicy food but can’t stand umami types of tastes. I’m also sensitive to sugar and can’t eat a ton of sweet food in one go, either. 

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- Smell: I have a rather sensitive nose. Gross stuff like vomit, cleaning litter boxes and diapers can make me gag. Dogs with bad breath also stress me out- I love animals but hate the smell of gross dog slobber. I’m also extremely conscious of whether or not I have BO and I’ve noticed I’m more sensitive to it when other people wouldn’t know the wiser. I like lavender, vanilla and sweet types of scents; basically anything that smells like dessert. On the flip side, I’ll notice immediately if someone around me is wearing a lot of fragrance. I also have some food allergies and it can bother me if someone around me is cooking something that I’m allergic to (perhaps this is more psychological though?)