#note : the food thing is less financial strain and more energy/they dont have the willpower to like. buy stuff to cook w ig ? but they also | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

oatbugs · 1 year

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i feel like i have rly strict boundaries w ppl eating my food but i feel like i shouldn't but i like . recovered from an ED and i hate having my food messed w / having less food than i thought but i feel like i shouldn't care/just get over it

#like imagine u rly care for smn but their house is kind of far so whenever u go there u stay for a few days #but they have nothing in their pantry to actually make a meal w except like. eggs and bread or smth #and they dont cook for u . but u cook for them all the time when they come over #and you are aware that due to this issue of like . never having food at their house they are often hungry #note : the food thing is less financial strain and more energy/they dont have the willpower to like. buy stuff to cook w ig ? but they also #dont order takeout so they just eat like. bread. and peanut butter. and eggs.#but anyway so ur like ok im gonna bring my own food this time so u do. they know abt ur ed thing. and u tell them youre hungry when #ur at their place so you brought this food for yourself. u are aware eggs and bread cut it for them and they feel full #but u are low on energy a lot bc ur not actually having a nutritionally balanced meal etc etc. anyway so as soon as u get ur food out they #start eating...ur food. and ur like . ok 😃 . like they dont rly ask they just grab a fork and they start eating #and ur like its fine theyre hungry they can have it . but u brought enough food for like a few days and now u have enough for like #1.5 days maybe. so u tell them..i feel like i miscommunicated but the food was...for me...sorry...but u feel HORRIBLE and guilty abt it #and then theyre like ok . and then they keep having ur food #and ur like #ok #:D anyway u made an extra bowl of the food and froze it for urself for when u get back home #bc u suspect u wouldnt have energy to cook . but u end up inviting them and they come along. and on the way #ur like i understand u were hungry but i made the food for myself so next time ig i can make 2 ppls worth of food so i wont have to like #worry abt skipping meals n stuff so much when im over at ur place . and theyre like. ok #and then u get homr. and then #they ask for that last bowl of the same food that u made for uself . and ur like 🫠 okkkk #obviously u give it to them but its like . oh my goddd pls just let me eat my own food i am HUNGRY TOO #and i made it for myself !!!!#but i dont want to be selfish and i rly rly dont want anyone to be hungry bc ik what it feels like and i hate HATE seeing ppl i love be #hungry but it feels like over this week theyve crossed this boundary like 3 times but its like #what if i fuck stuff up by telling them. theyre literally at ur place too w lots of ingredients u could have just made smth for them but #they chose that specific meal u made for urself for after u got back which is the same meal u made like 4 bowls of for when u were at their #place and its like . AUGHHSHDHDH

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