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libraryofloveletters · 3 years

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Love Delivered To Your Doorstep

Evan Buckley x Reader

Warnings: fem!reader, mentions of cheating, break ups and killing/serial killers. (<in a joking context)

Category: fluff for the most part.

Word Count: 3.9k

Author’s Note: Doesn’t follow canon, it has a little of buck begins in there but it doesn't follow a strict timeline. It also is written like Buck moves to LA and has his apartment from the moment he moves there while trying to figure out what he wants to do.

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Texting and calling was never your choice method of communication.

Letters had always been more of your thing.

Truthfully, they hadn't been your thing until your boyfriend moved halfway across the country for university. The two of you met in high school, freshman year and became inseparable since. Growing together and promising to always love each other no matter what -you always knew that couldn't be true but it never stopped you from telling him.

When he told you that he was going to be applying to UCLA during your senior year of high school, it came as a bit of a shock to you. The plan was always going to college together, get engaged when you were done school and then married with a house by 30.

You held out the hope of that being possible until the day he showed you his acceptance letter.

You were incredibly proud of him but it was real now, he was leaving.

You watched him pack up his entire life and uproot himself from New York and moved across the country. You sent the first letter to him at what was supposed to be his apartment.

September 30th.

‘Hi baby!

Just writing to see how you're settling in. How’s UCLA ? Have you gotten a chance to go around and get to see the place ? I know you’re there for school but you've got to live a little too. Hope your neighbours are sweet, your mom told me it’s a pretty nice place and it’s got a good view, sounds like your type of place. Hopefully I can come visit you soon.

I started my classes last week. My chem professor is a pain in my ass already, he expects us to read an entire textbook in a week - well not exactly an entire textbook but you get the point. My biology professor is a sweetheart, she showed us pictures of her kids and talked about them for an hour, I didn't realize being a mother was so interesting but she was cool. Also showed us a video of an appendectomy that one of her colleagues performed last week. How are your classes and professors ?

Did I mention I bumped into Sam at the grocery store ? Yeah, he’s back and he’s not fine to tell you the truth. He seemed like he was ready to snap but that might just be my judgment. He said to tell you hello if I spoke to you so- hello :)

I’m going to sign off here, I know this one is short but I don’t have much to update you on. Life’s been pretty dull without you. Hope you’re having fun out there, soaking up the sun for me.

Write me back soon, I love you.

Yours always, y/n’

You mailed the letter the next day, a few weeks had passed before you received a letter back. Except this letter had a different sender name but the same address.

October 22nd.

‘Hi y/n,

This isn't your boyfriend. (I'm assuming that’s who you're writing too based on the context of the letter) I’m Evan, I live in the apartment you thought belonged to your boyfriend or maybe you got the address wrong, I’m not sure. I know you were waiting for an update on all these exciting things that are happening at UCLA. I do not go to UCLA nor can I update you in anything exciting that’s happening there, sorry.

Anyways, the reason I'm writing you back is because I figured you’d want to know that this isn't the correct address and the person you were looking for isn't here before you send another letter and get no response. I was debating if I should have even written you back, but here I am, writing you back.

Your professor for chem seems like an ass to be honest (hope that’s not rude) and your biology professor sounds great, is she hot by the way ? because bonus points for that. Anyways, are you studying medicine ? I'm guessing yes because of the classes you're taking. I'm thinking of signing up to become a first responder but I haven’t decided yet on what yet or if I'm actually going to do it. Anyways, good luck on your classes and the shitty chem professor.

Hope you find your boyfriend (again, assuming)

Peace out,

Evan.’

To say you were shocked would be an understatement. How could the letter you sent to your boyfriend’s apartment belong to someone else ? Why was there someone else living in his apartment ? You dug through your apartment, searching for the paper he left you with the address, you finally found it buried in a drawer.

The address on the paper was identical to the one that Evan sent to you and to the one you sent prior to that. Either your boyfriend was lying or you were losing your mind.

November 4th.

‘Dear Evan,

I'm sorry that I sent the first letter to you and as you guessed, I was looking for my boyfriend who seems to be a bit MIA right now. His mother says that’s the right address and the place that she helped him move into. So I'm not really sure what’s happening there. Anyways, sorry for unloading all of that on you.

To answer your question, yes, I am studying medicine and no, she isn't hot. My bio professor is a 65 year old woman who loves her college aged kids very much. If that’s your definition of hot, then yes - she's got milf status

Have you decided yet if you’re going to sign up to be a first responder ? That’d be pretty cool. Imagine all the girls swoon over you and how many girls you’d pick up just for being a paramedic or a firefighter.

Wait, are you into girls ? Or guys ? You know, whoever you're into, just imagine how many of them you’d pick up.

Also, you’re not a murderer or anything right ? because I rather not answer questions when the police come asking about why I've been sending letters to a serial killer.

Anyways, signing off for now.

Yours always, y/n.

ps. if you do end up bumping into or meeting a guy that looks like my boyfriend, (tall, brown hair, brown eyes. he’s got a pierced ear and a little butterfly tattoo by his collarbone- though not sure why or how you'd see his collarbone) let me know or tell him that his girlfriend is looking for him.

Double ps, what size shirt do you wear ?’

Buck laughed at your absurd question. A person he didn’t even know was asking what size shirt he wore. The letter was set on the coffee table with the rest of the mail, getting buried under all of the stuff he had on there. It was almost the end of December when he realized that he hadn't written you back yet.

December 21st.

‘Hey y/n,

Sorry I've taken so long to get back to you. Things have been hectic over here. I’ve been doing some ‘soul-searching’ - I guess you could call it that and honestly, I don’t think if this whole first responders thing is for me.

I tried out bartending or well, the technical term is mixologist and I’m liking it so far, I think i’m going to stick with it for now.

How have you been ? How’s school ? Surely, you’re on break for the holidays right about now or at least when you get this letter. I hope that you're spending the break doing something fun.

I’m not going to make this very long, I’m sure you’ve been busy with whatever you’re doing right now.

Also, I’ve been meaning to ask. Have you located the mysteriously disappearing boyfriend yet ? I haven't seen anyone that fit your description.

well, that’s not true- I did and just to be sure I asked to see his collarbone, he looked at me like I was a mad man so I guess it wasn't him ?

Anyways, I hope you have a good holiday and you're probably gonna get this sometime between holidays, so merry belated (?) Christmas and happy New Years y/n.

Peace out,

Evan.

ps. medium or large, depending on what it is. Hopefully that answers your question weirdo.’

January 13th.

The morning of the 13th, he went down to check his mail. A box was there with his name on it, the return address was one he had only seen on an envelope. The box returned upstairs with him, setting it on the counter before opening it.

Upon opening it, there was a letter and some colourful tissue paper with what seemed like a sweater under it. He opened the letter first.

‘Dear Evan,

Happy New Years! How was your holiday going ? Did you do anything fun ?

I’ve been good and school is good too, I'm almost done my first year, isn't that crazy ? Just a few more months to go.

How’s your job as mr. mixologist going ? I'm sure you’ve met some wild people and heard some interesting stories.

As for the boyfriend situation, that's over. I’m not surprised to tell you the truth but it still kinda sucks. Anyways, so what happened was that his older brother had come home from college last year and brought a friend with him. She went to the same school as his brother but transferred to UCLA- anyways long story short, they hooked up while he and I were still together and he moved in with her after his mom helped him move into the apartment I thought he had.

But! I’m single and chilling now so it’s all good. (bonus, she cheated on him and left him so yeah)

I got you a little something for Christmas and as a “sorry for unloading all my boyfriend drama on you” present. I was in the gift shop and it made me think of you. Do you celebrate Christmas? I forgot to check oops. If you don't, count it as a just a “sorry for unloading all my boyfriend drama on you” present?

I got a large because I wasn't sure if it would fit. I hope you like it. That’s all for now.

Yours always, y/n.’

He unwrapped the tissue paper to see a blue sweater with the letters NYU on it. He smiled, he assumed that’s where you went. It was sweet that you took the time to get him something, even if it was a by the way thing. Not a lot of people would send something to a person they had been talking to via letters and halfway across the country.

February 12th.

2 days before Valentine's Day, your least favourite holiday of the year. You weren't looking forward to watching all your friends going on with their boyfriends and girlfriends. The mail had arrived while you were out, you picked it up and headed in. There were two envelopes with your name on it, a plain white one and a red one. The red envelope was more squared than rectangular, you assumed it was a card- both had the same sender name.

‘Hey y/n!

Thank you for the sweater, it was nice of you to think of me and get me something. I didn’t know we were doing gifts or I would have sent you something as well and yes, I do celebrate Christmas.

My job as ‘mr. mixologist’ was going well until I quit. It just didn’t feel like the right fit for me you know ? I'm going to see what else is out there for me.

Sorry to hear about your boyfriend, he seems like a douche. Who would cheat on you ? You seem great I mean at least you are on paper (did you get my joke, it’s hard to tell)

Also, remember how I was thinking I might actually give that first responder thing a try? Imagine me as a firefighter, that’s pretty cool right ?

So I kinda did a thing and signed up and then I got in. I started two weeks ago and it was kicking my ass at first but I've gotten a hang of it and things are going pretty well. There's three other Evans in my class so everyone calls me Buck-I kind of like it.

The other envelope, hopefully you opened this one first, is a little something for you for valentines. Hope you like it.

Peace out,

Buck’

The red envelope was on your lap, you pulled the edges carefully not wanting to rip it. Inside was a plain white card with bright red letters that made you laugh. The cover read ‘I’m not sick of you yet!” Opening the card, a $20 fell onto your lap. There was a little message inside that went along with the cash.

‘Since we aren't together and can’t spend valentines together, there’s some cash to get yourself a box of chocolates and a teddy bear. Happy Valentines Day y/n

Love, Buck.’

You smile, this was the first time that Buck had signed with ‘love, buck’ it had always been ‘peace out, buck.’ You tucked the card into the drawer, one you didn’t use very often so you knew it’d be safe there.

*4 years later*

A few weeks had passed since Buck had last heard from y/n. His last letter to her was at the end of June, telling her all about the day he had spent at Hen and Karen’s. He always described every little detail so vividly that it made her feel like she was there with him- but it was now July, end of actually and moving into August.

4 years had blown like nothing.

It felt like just yesterday he got the first letter in the mail. 4 years and they still had no idea what each other looked like but they knew every intricate and intimate detail about each other, their lives and the people in it.

Y/n and Buck had grown rather close over the last few months- more than they already were. Y/n just went through a pretty shitty break up and Buck wasn't exactly big on relationships as of right now.

He had just gotten home from work, his keys set on the counter when he realized that he forgot to check his mail. Stepping back out, there was a woman in the hallway and boxes scattered across her, leading into the apartment down the hall.

She must be his new neighbour.

He wanted to go over and introduce himself but she was busy telling the movers where to set her couch so he decided that he would check the mail and then introduce himself when he returned so he did just that.

Except, she was still busy.

She leaned against the wall, watching the movers move what looked like a coffee table. She glanced up to see Buck walking by, she smiled and he returned the smile.

Buck reaches his apartment, the mail in hand and steps in. He sorts through the pile, bills, ads, coupons and no letter from y/n.

---

Your new apartment was a mess. You decided it was time for a change. You applied to a few hospitals after your break up and the one in LA hired you. So you dropped everything and moved- no family, no ties.

A fresh start.

It was a nice neighbourhood and the building was quiet. The neighbours you met were pleasant and welcoming. When you were having the furniture moved in, there was a blonde man who smiled at you and you assumed he lived in the unit down the hall because that’s where he stepped into.

It was almost 11pm when you finally sat down. You had been on your feet all day and just wanted to eat something. The box with the dishes was beside the couch, you pulled the tape off and opened it. There was an envelope sitting on top of the stack of plates.

Buck’s last letter to you.

You must have tossed it into the boxes while packing and you forgot to write him back. Tumbling through the boxes, you find a sheet of paper and a pen from your bag. Sitting on the floor, the paper resting on an unopened box, you begin writing.

‘Dear Buck,

I’m sorry I've taken so long to get back to you. I quit my job, and uprooted my entire life. The break up sucked major ass as you know, so I decided it was time for a change.

Guess where I decided to go ?

Did you guess yet?

No, not Canada, why would you guess Canada ?

LA!

Yeah, isn't that crazy that I ended up here of all places? Maybe we could get together one day (if you haven’t turned into a crazy serial killer that is.)

Anyways, that’s why I've taken so long to write. I was packing when I got your letter and I tossed it in a box and just found it again. Anyways, I hope you’ve been good, how have things been at the station ?

I promise I'll write again with more details soon, I just have to get settled in first.

Yours always, y/n.’

Folding the paper, you slipped into an envelope. The address being scribbled into the back of the envelope. You were about to seal it when the building number caught your eye.

It was the same number as the place you moved into. The same address, the building number, the same floor.

The unit number was the only difference.

There was no way you moved into the building that Buck lived in.

You knew the address felt familiar when you saw the listing but you didn’t think anything of it nor did it occur to you that you knew the address.

Stepping out of your apartment, looking at the number on the room and back down at the envelope in your hand. Buck’s apartment was down the hall.

Part of you just wanted to mail it and keep things as it was but another part of you wanted to meet him, to see what he was really like in person. So there you were walking down the hallway at a quarter past 11 in the dead of the night to meet a man you had been sending letters to for the last 4 years.

The end of the hallway, you stared at the black wooden door in front of you. Your brain weighing the options right now: he’s a sweetheart and welcoming and makes you feel comfortable or he’s a weird guy who’s been lying to you this whole time and you told him everything about you and now he’s going to kill you.

Before you could register what you were doing, you knocked on the door.

Glancing down at yourself, you were wearing a pair of old shorts and a t-shirt from high school that you found in a drawer while packing. Not an ideal outfit, maybe he’s sleeping and you can go home and change- the door opened, a man wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt stood there. He looked like he had just woken up.

“Sorry, did I wake you?”

“It's alright,” he yawned, his hand covering his mouth as he blinked away a few tears. “What can I do for you ?” he leaned against the door.

“Um, this is an odd question-” you shifted, glancing down at the envelope in your hand. “Are you Buck ?”

“I am, who are you ?”

“Y/n.”

You had never seen a man wake up that fast, he seemed surprised, confused and concerned all in one. “How- uh, are you- What ?” he mumbled.

“I found your letter in the box after I moved, I moved into the apartment down the hall” you point to your left, Buck sticks his head out of the doorway and looks at the door you were pointing to. You were the woman in the hallway that he saw earlier, he knew you looked familiar.

“I just wrote your letter and I noticed that the addresses were the same, just a different unit number so I decided to come check. Sorry if I bothered you, we can talk another day- it’s late and you probably have work” “Would you like to come in?” he opens the door a bit more, looking to you for an answer.

“Um, okay sure.” stepping in, you can’t help but glance around. The apartment was similar to yours, the layout was a bit different though. “Can I get you something to drink ? Coffee, water ? A beer ?” he rounded the kitchen counter, you took a seat on one of the chairs by the counter.

“Water’s fine, thanks”

He reached for a bottle from the fridge, sliding it over to you. You gave him a smile, he leaned against the counter and was now looking- studying you.

“I know we’ve talked to each other for 4 years but this is kinda strange” you chuckled awkwardly, Buck can't help but smile.

“Yeah, it is, isn't it? but can I ask why you moved to LA?”

“Well all of that was in the letter” you slide the envelope across the counter and he picks it up, opening it. Giving him a few moments to read, you watch his expression like you were hoping for some insight as to how he was feeling or what he was thinking. He let out a laugh, “how’d you know I'd guess Canada ?” you smiled at him, a small wave of relief washing over you for some reason. “Lucky guess I suppose”

“Do you-” “What are-” the sentences cutting each other off, the two of you awkwardly smiling at each other. “You first” looking at him, he hums.

“Do you have work tomorrow or are you busy ?” His eyes meet yours, you found yourself leaning forwards towards the counter- towards him. He made you feel comfortable, you’d go as far as to say safe, in a way you’ve never felt before.

“No, I don't start until the 21st. Why ?”

“I was thinking - if you're not busy and if you want to, of course. Maybe I could take you out for breakfast and I could show you around ? Or lunch or dinner ? Whatever works for you actually” he rambles, fiddling with his fingers to avoid eye contact.

A small laugh slips past your lips causing him to look up, his brows furrowed as he studies your face, looking for an answer.

“Breakfast sounds good, what time should I be ready for ?”

“Uh, is 10 okay ?” he asks, you nod. “I’ll be ready for 10 then.”

“Okay, I'll pick you up” he smiles.

“Buck, we live in the same building.”

“Oh right,” he chuckles, “well I'll be by yours at 10 then” the two of you smiling at each other.

“Okay.”

----

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tangledgal · 5 years

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WARNING: SUPER BIG POST! This is a complete list of my ranking of the season 1 and season 2 soundtrack.

Alright, first, I truly like/ love all the songs in the soundtrack, so low-ranked songs are never “bad.” Second, I’m not counting the 3 scores we got with the season 2 soundtrack. Third, I know that once season 3 has released its songs, this list will become kinda irrelevant, but hey, I’m impatient. Lastly, this is all biased so if some songs seem like they should be lower or higher than others, then that’s fine. I don’t claim to be a genius musician. I just prefer some songs over others.

(P.S. this was written in a day so misspellings are likely)

21.) Hook Foot’s Ballad

I don’t think I need to explain why this is the lowest. XD I really don’t mind this song, but it’s so short and just makes me wonder why this was considered a song, but the Reverse Incantation wasn’t! Just . . . meh.

20.) Wind in My Hair (Reprise)

We’ve all heard this one a BUNCH of times, and it’s pretty okay on its own. I just don’t consider this as high on the list just because we’ve heard it a lot and it’s just “Wind in my Hair” but shorter.

19.) More of Me

Another song we hear over and over again, but I’m a sucker for upbeat Disney pop music, and the full song is pretty fun to listen to. Nothing special, but enjoyable.

18.) Next Stop Anywhere (Reprise)

I like this one, but the 30 seconds of just talking at the beginning is a little grating. Again, just “Next Stop” but shorter. Still, Mandy and Zac always sound amazing together.

17.) Let Me Make You Proud (Reprise)

As you see, I put all the reprises last since they aren’t the most . . . interesting, but this is definitely the best of them since this is the MOMENT Varian vows revenge and makes his arc. It’s very powerful and the singing is great, but again, reprise.

16.) Listen Up

A fun song that’s just right for Halloween. I particularly love how it has the same sound as “I’ve Got a Dream,” but in a minor key, making it spoopy! It’s just lower on the list since it doesn’t really add much to the plot. Just a good song.

15.) Life After Happily Ever After

One of the few songs that sound exactly like it came straight from the movie. I like how it fills us in on the plot and with a great melody. Just . . . lots of talking that wasn’t edited out. And not that it’s not good, but I don’t find myself listening to it as often. Still, this was great as the first song of the show and it’s great now.

14.) If I Could Take That Moment Back

Yeah, I’m a New Dream sucker, and this song made me choke up a bit on my first listen. ASIDE FROM THAT, it doesn’t sound too different from most sad love songs. I didn’t want to put it too high because it’s not particularly unique. Not saying it’s BAD at all! The melody is beautiful (especially on the piano), the lyrics are heartbreaking and match up with the situation pretty well, and of course, Mandy Moore and Zachary Levi duet #2. That’s a win in my book.

13.) Livin’ the Dream

Admittedly, I was REALLY surprised when we got a musical number in this episode, and the song did seem really random. Still, this is just a really funny and upbeat music number! It sounds similar to “I’ve Got A Dream,” but with a twist, it’s pretty catchy, the singer does a great job as a replacement for Brad Garrett. I know for most, this wouldn’t usually be this high, but hey, different tastes.

12.) Friendship Song

I will admit, I like this song A LOT more than most people do. Then again, sucker for upbeat-Disney-pop music right here. I love how the instruments are so clear and beautiful, the melody and fast tempo are really fun to listen to, the lyrics can apply to anyone with a bff, and it always puts me in a good mood!

11.) Set Yourself Free

This is a weird one. It is nice to listen to and sung well, but I think my main liking for this song is that I feel a little bit of an emotional connection with it. When I hear this song, I think of the beginning of January and waiting anxiously for the finale of Season 1. I remember seeing a sneak peek of this song briefly, then seeing the episode as all the past moments of season 1 flash through the screen. Idk, it’s not really my favorite, but the feeling I get from listening to this brings back a lot of memories to me. I wouldn't put it lower since it does sound nice and I feel sentimental when listening to it, but it’s not higher since, honestly, it really is just Wind In My Hair, but instead of Rapunzel wishing for something, she’s doing something. Overall, good song.

10.) Everything I Ever Thought I Knew

It’s . . . complicated. The song is so beautiful, I love the opening lyrics and Zachary Levi. Just. . . . just Zachary Levi. However, I’ll admit that I’m not a fan of the whole “Dark Prince Eugene” thing. I never wanted it to be true, and I was low-key disappointed when it was revealed to be true. (Not devaluing the DPE theorists. Just not a personal fan of it being canon.) Still, I think the song does express Eugene’s feelings pretty well and it is kinda amusing when you realize he’s just having an identity crisis. All in all, we’ve waited a long time for a Eugene solo, and though I wasn’t thrilled about the context, still a fantastic song, and I’ll listen to it many times over.

9.) Wind in My Hair

The first full song I listened to from the show, sung beautifully, gives the show a great starting point, feels like a classic Disney princess song, and I simply love it. Next.

8.) Next Stop Anywhere

Great intro song to Season 2! It’s catchy, has amazing singing from the 3, and just a wonderful song. Yea, more unnecessary talking here and there that should’ve been cut out, but I love this song too much. Just like Wind in My Hair, I don’t have a logical reason why I love the song as much as I do. I just do!

7.) I’ve Got This

I love the opening notes to this song and it drags you right into it! It’s really fun to sing along to and pretend to be the angry citizens. Mostly, I love how the song progressively goes from upbeat and positive, then to worry, then to panic, then eventually to sadness. It’s catchy and upbeat, yet depressing and slow, and I love it. (Also, kittens)

6.) Buddy Song

Okay, first, can I just say how much I love the context of this song. While the majority of the other songs have an important meaning behind them or are there for some logical reason, the literal purpose of this song is just because Eugene and Lance are drugged up on flowers and that’s it. Usually, I’d be critical to scenes that are pointless or don’t push the story, but here, I have NO problem with it. It’s so fun and enjoyable in how carefree it is. Not only that, but add Zach and James singing like they are having the time of their lives (and not about to die) all to a jazzy beat and you have a musical masterpiece. I was waiting for this kind of song, and I was not disappointed in the slightest!

5.) Ready As I’ll Ever Be

The first two notes of this song should win an award alone. I love the intensity of this song and how epic it all feels. It stands as an amazing group number, as well as its own song separate from the context. Everyone gets to shine in this song, and it all has a very grand feel to it. Also, it really is the only song of its kind in the whole soundtrack. It’s “the epic theme song before going into battle” song. It’s amazing and really deserves the praise it gets (and then some.)

4.) View From Up Here

Admittedly not the most “dramatic” song. However, there is just so much about this song I love. First, I never expected Mandy Moore and Eden Espinosa to sound so good together! Imho, their harmony is one of the best in the show. Their voices blend so amazingly together and though they are different kinds of singers, they sound so in sync and the difference in their voices add so much! Also, even though this is like “whimsical exploring song # 12943,” it has this energy and charm to it that I can’t describe. The way it’s sung + the instruments make it sound so carefree, weightless, and whimsical. I feel I have no care in the world listening to it. Also, it’s upbeat and catchy (as always) Love it, love it, love it! (Also, the entire song is actually extended from what they sing in the episode, so that’s even better!)

3.) Waiting in the Wings

3 words: Eden Freakin’ Espinosa. Her voice was absolutely perfect for this song. Cassandra singing about her dreams and feelings towards being looked-over are expressed so well in the lyrics, the music, and in the emotion and power in Eden’s voice. It’s not only just an amazing song on its own, but it also gives insight into the character and makes us understand her struggles. I love the how gradually it builds up emotion just like in a classic Broadway song and the final note. Holy crap, THAT HIGH NOTE THO. I adore this song, and it definitely deserves to be in my top 3.

2.) With You By My Side

I’ve been singing this all the time since the end of season 2, and it has never gotten old. The highs and lows each singer reaches in each part sound great, the melody is catchy and hopeful, yet a little solemn and sad. It sounds great and has so much emotion put into each note. The instrumentals are enough to get me to listen to this song! Also, the song itself is a milestone in the character’s relationship that went from acquaintances/ enemies to the best of friends who can’t do anything without the other. It’s a song that means friendship, trials, hope, and the end of a journey. (Or at least that’s what they thought >:))

1.) Let Me Make You Proud

No, I’m not a hardcore Varian fan or Jeremy Jordan fan. Not really even a Broadway fan. What I’m saying is that this song, to me, is perfect. The performance, the music, the context, the instruments, and even the nostalgic feeling I get when listening to this. It’s flawless. Jeremy Jordan is amazing at expressing emotion not through just his voice, but his singing as well. Him playing an emotionally vulnerable 14-year-old who is anxiously traveling through a snowstorm all to save his dad who he isn’t sure will even survive the mistake he made, but his motivation is what’s getting him through, adds so much emotion, personality, and power to this character and song. Also, my memories of watching the D23 panel (on youtube. I wasn’t there) when this was being played over a montage of clips we have and haven’t seen before, exciting us for what was to come, was one of the greatest experiences ever. What else can I say? Just . . . perfection.

Super long post, but I’m happy with my selection and I can’t wait for Season 3!

#tangled the series #rapunzel's tangled adventure #long post #thoughts #honest thoughts #soundtrack #season 2 soundtrack #tangled the series soundtrack #Rapunzel #Eugene Fitzherbert #cassandra #varian #lance strongbow

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anerdinallherglory · 7 years

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Approaching Sun (11)

Author's Note: Hey guys! Sorry for such a longgggg wait. Between last chapter and this one, I had a crazy professor who assigned me a 70 page Unit Plan assignment. It was literally the HARDEST thing I have ever done. In short, I am thankful for your patience. I will get this story done eventually, I promise. However, starting on January 4th, I will be fulfilling my final internship, so I’m looking at another 4 months of busy. Don’t give up on me, though! SasuSaku will always consume my free time.

So here is your long-awaited chapter! As always, let me know what you think. And look out for the next chapter—boy am I excited to write it!

P.S. Reviews and shares always encourage a writer to write more!

Pairing: SasuSaku

Summary: After 2 years, Sasuke returns to the village where friends anxiously await him. Still troubled by the mysteries of Kaguya and his personal guilt, Sasuke is split between friends and his journey. One specific pink-haired individual has perhaps waited for him with far more dedication than anyone else. Troubled by rising casualties and international dependence on her abilities, Sakura is torn between her love for Sasuke and her duty to her village.

Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

Chapter 11: Doing What is Best

Sakura looked down at her feet guiltily when she heard Kakashi's voice from the door. Sasuke had already been hard enough to face, and now here was the man who was to Sakura both sensei and Hokage--not to mention whom Sakura had cussed vividly at and blamed for her own mistakes last night--coming to see her.

"What do you want?" she heard Sasuke spit out rudely as he stood anchored in the doorway, arms crossed and looking as smug as Sakura had ever seen him.

"To see Sakura, of course!" another familiar voice called out cheerfully, and Sakura's eyes grew wide when she recognized Shizune's smiling speech. Pushing past the pissed-off Uchiha, Shizune squeezed between him and the crack in the door rather forcefully. Sometimes, Sakura could see characteristics of Lady Tsunade in the young woman who was also the Sanin’s pupil.

As Kakashi made his entrance, Sakura caught the annoyed look Sasuke was giving The Hokage. Kakashi awkwardly rubbed the back of his head before whispering, "She refused to be left behind."

Shizune embraced Sakura immediately.

"Sakura," Shizune said, holding Sakura at arm's length to look her up and down, "I am glad to see you are okay. You certainly had us all worried!"

Sakura tried to look apologetic, but tears sprang forward to her eyes. Shizune looked back at Kakashi worriedly, and in response, the Hokage made his way to them.

Sakura wiped at her eyes and strengthened her resolve and looked up at Kakashi. It was time she owned up to her behavior the night before. "Lord Hokage," she began, placing her hands together and bowing before him.

"None of that," Kakashi stuttered awkwardly, ducking to lift Sakura's chin up so she could meet his eyes. "I will always be Sensei to you."

"Kakashi Sensei, I am extremely sorry for my conduct last night," she continued when he released her chin. "Please forgive me." She faintly recalled throwing glass bottles towards him and inwardly groaned. He was certain to be disappointed in her. Sakura had proven that she had a breaking point, a weakness. Ninja who showed weakness would not survive in this shinobi world.

"We all have bad days," Kakashi began, standing beside her and placing a palm fixedly on her disheveled head. "Just ask Shizune," he added, gesturing in the surprised woman’s direction, "She's had her share of drunken episodes too. Tsunade is my witness."

"Kakashi!" Shizune cried out, raising her hands to cover her red face. Sakura smiled and Kakashi grinned back at her under his mask.

"Yes, well," Shizune interjected, grabbing hold of Sakura's arm and taking her hand. "You can say that none of us are perfect. Sometimes we make unwise decisions which lead to more unwise decisions, and so on. What's important is that you are okay and that you know that none of this is your fault."

Sakura nodded her head but didn’t reply. She looked down at her feet again. Of all people, she should know what to expect being in the medical core. She had witnessed so many deaths during the Fourth Shinobi World War and here she was making a huge fuss over one child she barely knew. However, this was a suicide that Sakura believed she could have prevented if she had only done her job.

Sakura looked over at Sasuke, who was now leaning against the wall, arms crossed and eyes closed. He had the same scowling look on his face that he always wore, eyebrows angling down to make a sharp "V" and his mouth a hard, pursed line. Perhaps, if Sakura had just forgotten about him--hadn't made such a big fuss about his return, she could have done her job. Maybe this was why she was feeling so guilty.

Sasuke spoke suddenly, his voice a grumble from across the room. "Why are you here?"

All eyes turned to the forgotten ninja, a small silence falling upon them.

"Ah," Kakashi spoke up, walking over to his moody student and placing a hand on his left shoulder. Sasuke glared at him. "Apologies for just showing up unannounced. We didn’t interrupt anything did we?"

Sasuke's eyes grew wide at the comment and Sakura waved her hands frantically.

"No, nothing!" she said quickly, which seemed to make the Hokage's smile grow wider. This made Sakura's face turn almost the exact same shade as her hair color. Sakura caught Sasuke's eye and they both looked away hurriedly.

"To answer your question Sasuke," Kakashi said, codeswitching back to his Hokage speech and taking on his authoritative personality. "We came for the both of you. We have some new residents in the village who need your medical attention, Sakura. Think you can help us out?"

Sakura looked over at her sensei who was looking at her expectantly. Shizune offered Sakura a smile of her own and Sakura nodded. It was time she got back to doing what she did best. Sakura caught Sasuke's gaze and she looked away. It was time she put her patients first in all matters, even matters concerning her heart.

. . . . . .

Sasuke had groaned inwardly when Kakashi proposed that they all go to the barracks to provide medical attention to the ninja Sasuke had rescued from the Coliseum. Sasuke had thought he had dodged this very situation the other day, and when he acted as if he were about to leave their group, Kakashi had spoken up, saying, "Why don't you come with us Sasuke? I'm sure we can find something for you to do. After all, you're the reason they are here."

Sasuke had grumbled under his breath, resentful for how many times Kakashi was going to remind him of that fact. This is what he got for helping people: work, responsibility, and more work. Sasuke had gotten used to cleaning up a mess, wiping his hands spotless from it, and avoiding all aftereffects. That was one thing that Sasuke really liked about not being in the village.

"You are?" Sakura had asked, turning to face him.

Sasuke's stomach had pitched as a former concern entered in his mind at her question. This is exactly what he had been trying to avoid yesterday. He didn't want to be there when Sakura was healing the injuries he was directly responsible for. Ever since the Uchiha had entered this village, everything was going exactly how he didn't want it to. Literally everything, and this was another example.

Sasuke hadn't replied and instead Kakashi had spoken up on his behalf, not mentioning this most important detail. He skipped the part where Sasuke had directly attacked these ninja, instead just telling Sakura that he had rescued them. Sakura had looked down at her feet and smiled which made Sasuke feel even more guilty. It was lie, but he couldn't tell her the truth, just when she was starting to think well of him.

At first, Sasuke had thought that the four of them would be working together, but five minutes into their walk, Shizune had departed for the hospital, and Kakashi had merely dropped them off at the door, saying, "I forgot that I had a meeting today. I'm late, so if you will excuse me."

Sasuke had glowered at him as he placed a reassuring hand on each of their arms, saying "I believe in you two," before walking away--rather unhurriedly for someone who was late to a meeting.

Now, Sasuke stood completely useless against a wall, offering no assistance as Sakura kindly tended to the people she was healing. She had seen almost every patient while Sasuke sat back and watched her. It was something that Sasuke had never seen her do before. She wasn’t wearing her lab coat, but Sakura possessed a focused demeanor as she conducted check-ups on all the ninja. It was strange to witness her apply knowledge that Sasuke hadn't been there to witness her gain. She had always been smart, smarter than him in almost all areas of knowledge at the academy. But the woman before him wasn’t raising her finger to tell her teammates how much she knew, or chastising Naruto for how little he knew. The woman before him, currently stooped over a middle-aged man's back and using her chakra to draw out infection through a deep cut along his shoulder, was the Sakura he had missed out on. This was who Sakura was now, and Sasuke couldn't help but admire her.

A tug on his shirt tore the Uchiha's gaze away from his pink-haired teammate and onto a small child who was looking up at him.

"You Uchiha?" a little girl asked, crossing her arms in a challenge. Sasuke frowned down at her in reply.

"Hatsuko," the man Sakura was healing hissed back at the girl, "Go back to your mother. Leave this man alone."

Hatsuko ignored her father, and matched Sasuke's glare with one of her own. "Hurt my papa again, and you'll have to fight me!" she yelled, punctuating her statement with a raised fist and a stuck-out tongue.

Sasuke hurriedly snuck a glance at Sakura and flinched when her gaze landed on him, whom obviously had not missed the exchange. He glared back at the child, not saying a word.

"Hatsuko!" her father roared, standing up hurriedly to walk in the child's direction. The little fiery juvenile sprinted off in another direction. "This man saved me!" he called after her, just as she slammed the door down the hall from them, "GET BACK HERE AND APOLOGIZE!"

Wincing, the man grabbed his shoulder and Sakura rushed over to lead him back to his chair. "Forgive me," he bowed towards Sasuke. "My daughter is young and doesn't understand what you did for us."

"I'm the one who should be apologizing," the Uchiha said softly, feeling guilty and properly chastised by a little girl. For the first time, he walked over to the man and stood solemnly before him. "Perhaps if I had thought more clearly, I could have found another way to--"

"Don't blame yourself, young man" the ninja interrupted, flinching suddenly as Sakura tightly secured the final knot of his stitches. Clearing his throat, he continued, "There was no other way. What you did for us is something to be proud of. We would all be stuck fighting for our lives in that hellish place if it weren’t for you. We are all extremely grateful."

Sasuke glanced over to Sakura. Now that the cut was now clean and freshly stitched, Sakura covered the wound with gauze and wrapped it securely with bandage wrap.

"You're all done," she stated, "I'll be back in ten days to remove the stitches. Make sure to keep the wound clean. Be gentle and apply fresh bandages every night, except for tonight."

"Yes ma'am," he said, standing and bowing graciously to Sasuke's teammate. "I am grateful to you both. Konoha has some very fine ninja. It is thanks to you that I don’t have to worry about being separated from my family or sold to another shinobi. You have brought me the peace of freedom, Uchiha Sasuke."

As the man took his leave, he apologized once again for his daughter's behavior.

After he was out of sight, he turned to Sakura who was now cleaning up the stitching kit that was laid out across the counter. She pushed it carefully in a big yellow bag that she had brought along with her. Sakura picked it up and Sasuke closed his eyes when she walked past him out the door. She stopped to wait for him in the hall and he followed her until they were past all the people who stopped them and thanked them.

Once out the door and into the darkness, Sasuke caught up with Sakura and took the bag out of her hand. It was the only polite thing he believed had ever done for anyone probably ever in his life.

"Thank you," she said surprised. A small smile touched her lips but Sasuke was absorbed in silence.

Once they were alone together, walking the dark passageways to her apartment, Sasuke couldn’t remain silent anymore and spat out, "I know what you're thinking."

Sakura peeked over at him as they walked, a look of confusion on her face. Almost like she wasn’t expecting any kind of explanation from him about anything. "You do?"

"You must think I haven't changed at all," he said, looking away from her.

She reached out and gently took his elbow, stopping them and turning him towards her slightly. He pulled back from her but didn’t look away.

"That's not what I think," Sakura whispered to him. "I think you are a hero for saving all of those people."

"But I hurt them, " he said firmly, "I'm still hurting innocent people." She was looking at him softly in response and Sasuke didn’t know why, but he was suddenly angry at her for it. Was she still trying to justify his actions in her mind? Why was it so hard for her to hate him?

"You are being too hard on yourself," she offered kindly, touching his elbow again reassuringly. "You've changed. What you did was for the best."

She began walking again, but Sasuke dropped the yellow bag at his feet and quickly grabbed her sleeve, keeping her from moving. "I can't let you walk away thinking good of me. I was angry when I fought them. Angry with Oyashiro En and all the other ninja who had put them there. I had taken them down in the quickest way that I knew how. I fought children--"

"Sasuke," she said seriously, picking her bag off the ground and slipping the handle in the crook of her arm. "Before I ever was a medical ninja, I was your teammate. By healing them, I could recognize you in their injuries from the very beginning, but I was surprised not because I learned that you had done this, but surprised because of how careful you were with them when I know how hard that must have been while facing them all."

Sasuke scowled at her. "That's not an excuse."

Sakura looked up at the sky as a faint light suddenly fell on them, and Sasuke followed her gaze. The moon was peeking out between two dark silvery clouds. He looked back down at her, staring at her as she watched the moon. Her face and hair lit up for a moment and she offered him a small smile in reply. "I'm not someone to offer advice, but sometimes you have to hurt people in order to do what's best for them. It's a part of being a shinobi. I'm sure Itachi would agree. I think he would be proud of you, Sasuke."

Sasuke's eyes grew wide at the mention of his brother's name. Did she mean him? Itachi had sacrificed everything, even his own happiness, in order to protect the village. He had killed their family and abandoned Sasuke. Is this what she meant?

Her voice interrupted his thoughts as she said, "Let's forget the past. Let's learn from our mistakes and grow from them. I'm going to work towards becoming a stronger medic ninja for the village and you can work towards being the best shinobi that you can be. Can we do that together?"

Sasuke held her gaze, scowl remaining fixed on his face. The best shinobi that he could ever be, huh? Sasuke didn’t know if that was a possibility, but he would try. He would do what was best for the village and the people he cared deeply about. Sasuke didn’t answer her but when Sakura tugged on his sleeve, he followed her.

. . . . . . . .

They spent the rest of the walk in silence. Sakura didn’t release Sasuke's sleeve and he didn’t pull away. It was a fragile moment, a moment that Sakura was afraid would break if she spoke or breathed too hard. Sasuke's right hand swung at his side, sleeve caught barely in her fingers. Sakura wanted desperately to grab his fingers but she knew that would be crossing the line of whatever they had between them.

Whenever they reached the door, Sakura released Sasuke's sleeve and walked in first, setting down her bag. "I'll make you some tea, if you'd like. Or if you're too tired--"

"Sakura," came Sasuke’s emotionless voice from outside the door. Sakura turned and realized that he didn’t follow her in and her stomach lurched suddenly. Sakura walked back outside and looked up at him, worry settling heavily in her heart.

"What's wrong?" she asked, trying to reach for his sleeve again. He pulled back this time and instead slowly placed his hand in his cloak and revealed something small. Sasuke held it out to her without looking at her, and Sakura took what she recognized to be the key she had given him. Was he really giving it back to her? Did this mean he really leaving?

"We both know I can’t stay here," Sasuke said, looking away from her. “My answer is no.”

Sakura stared down at the key in her hand, and realized for the first time that Sasuke was saying goodbye. Sasuke wasn’t just saying no to coming in. He was distancing himself. He was telling her no. Tears sprung to her eyes as she looked down at the ridiculous key.

"No to what, Sasuke?" she whispered, as he made to turn away from her. Without a care, she walked in front of him, placing a palm on his chest. "No to what?"

"No to everything," he said, finally meeting her eyes, confirming her thoughts.

"I thought that we were growing closer; I thought that we could try--" Sakura said desperately, trying to understand why he would do this. Why couldn't he just let her into his heart? After everything they had been through together, why did he not care for her in the same way that she cared for him?"

"The most we will ever be is friends, Sakura, and that's all," he replied, and Sakura searched his features for any signs that would betray his words but his face remained perfectly stoic and firm. His dark onyx eyes did not waver.

"I've already told you. I can't be the man you want me to be. I have a mission, a duty to protect this village, and so do you. You said it earlier; we can work towards our goals and become better shinobi for our village," Sasuke said plainly, and Sakura felt shocked at how he was using her own words against her.

Tears began to roll down Sakura's cheeks and she wiped furiously at them, begging herself to stop. Be strong, she whispered to her pounding heart. It was a useless plea.

"I love you, Sasuke. I will wait for you. I know that we can make this work if--"

His right hand caught her arm and he pulled her towards him and Sakura froze. Gently, he held her before him, looking down at her and replying, "I want you to stop waiting. I want you to move on with your life. Find someone who can give you the happiness you deserve. That person is never going to be me."

Sasuke released her after a minute, and he turned away from her, showing her his back like he always did. The distance between them grew as he walked away.

Sakura wanted to call out to him. She wanted Sasuke to know that she couldn’t stop waiting for him. That there would never be anyone else. But instead, all she managed was to plead through her tears, "Please don’t say goodbye. Please don’t leave me alone again. You are breaking my heart!"

And then he was in front of her again, so quickly that Sakura had missed it when she blinked. She flinched when Sasuke reached out and placed two heavy fingertips against her forehead. After a second, his fingers moved to support her chin.

"Sometimes you have to hurt people in order to do what's best for them," he whispered in that deep monotone voiced that only belonged to him. When Sakura opened her eyes, he had disappeared into the surrounding darkness.

#approachingsun #ssfanfiction #sasusaku #naruto fanfiction #Naruto Shippuden #Sasuke Uchiha #Sakura Haruno #sakura uchiha #sakura hiden #sasuke shinden #sasuke and sakura

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click2watch · 5 years

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‘A Loan Shark Situation’: MakerDAO Is Leaving Crypto Borrowers With Rising Bills – And They’re Crying Foul

The Takeaway

An ethereum protocol for programmatic lending, MakerDAO emerged as a clear market leader in part for its rock-bottom interest rates of 0.5 percent.

But the code behind MakerDAO requires interest rates to do more than extract business from borrowers, it’s a technological necessity for keeping its DAI stablecoin worth $1.

With interest rates rising to 19.5 percent, and DAI still worth below $1, some early borrowers are angry, feeling as though they were misled.

Describing the project’s marketing tactics as akin to digital “loan sharks,” they argue their experience with decentralized finance has been worse than with traditional banking.

When credit cards give borrowers an unusually good deal, the companies tell cardholders how long that deal is going to last. In the world of crypto, however, that practice hasn’t exactly ported over.

That’s becoming more relevant given recent changes in the market that have created a rise in the number of companies offering loans in cryptocurrency as part of their business model. So far, this includes startups with traditional products (they hold crypto and loan cash) as well as blockchain protocols offering more exotic fare.

The leader in the latter category is undoubtedly MakerDAO, a years-in-the-making protocol built on ethereum that programmatically enables borrowers to take out loans, called collateralized debt positions (CDPs), with code. To date, 2 million ether is locked up in the protocol, and $82 million in DAI, the protocol’s stablecoin, are in the market now, all backed by active loans.

But while investors and developers love to tout MakerDAO as perhaps the best-working example in the evolving field of decentralized finance (DeFi), some borrowers don’t feel as if they’ve gotten as good of a deal.

In fact, the cost of borrowing on MakerDAO has risen rapidly recently and this has been especially painful for those who took out loans in order to make consumer purchases (rather than to make leveraged crypto investments).

Since early February, the cost of the fees associated with these loans has gone from an annual rate of 0.5 percent to 19.5 percent as of this writing. It might not be done rising either.

Less discussed is how that affects everyone using the platform, as rates on loans originated at the lower rate rise when the protocol’s fees are adjusted (a process controlled by the owners of another token, MKR).

Inside MakerDAO, this cost is referred to as the “stability fee,” though in practice it’s known by a much more familiar term: interest. The fee reflects the interest on debt lent out against cryptocurrency collateral.

That interest started too low and rose too high to serve consumer use cases in the opinion of one borrower, named Walter, who spoke to CoinDesk on the condition that we not use his full name. He wrote CoinDesk in an email:

“I believe that MakerDao was aware that in order to defend the stability of their coin the interest rates would have to vary wildly and as such it would be impossible for them to support real use cases. It was their responsibility to warn users that their loans are NOT suited for real-world use cases, and they might end up trapping users in the rates we see now.”

MakerDAO representatives did not answer questions or provide a formal statement as of press time.

Borrowers feeling the pinch

It’s not the fact that MakerDAO’s interest rates changed, so much as how fast it all happened.

Walter borrowed on MakerDAO as a crypto believer since 2017. He saw this post in January about a MakerDAO user who refinanced $50,000 worth of his mortgage using a CDP, dropping the interest rate on that portion of his debt from 4 percent to 0.5 percent.

Convinced, Walter told CoinDesk he took out 58,500 in DAI to pay off an auto loan and fund a personal event. He took out several tranches over the course of January, when rates were at their lowest.

He wrote CoinDesk:

“Borrowing using my ETH looked like a safe solution to saving money and retaining ownership of my ETH, but there was no clear indication and no warning how quickly and how steep rates can come back.”

With ETH prices frequently dropping, the loan is constantly in danger of being liquidated, which would eliminate his debt but also cost him what has become a much higher interest payment plus the liquidation penalty (13 percent of his principal).

Now, those low rates look like a way the project ensnared early users. Walter doesn’t see the increases as malicious, but it doesn’t matter. “What matters is, in the end, you end up in a loan shark situation,” he said.

Another borrower who spoke to CoinDesk, named Josh, said that he took about $20,000 to take a break from working in the technology industry and travel in Eastern Europe. Again, he had to make the choice between taking out a traditional consumer loan or using MakerDAO.

“Getting consumer credit, I’d be getting something like 10 or 15 percent through a bank,” Josh told CoinDesk.

In that case, MakerDAO seemed like a natural choice.

“My expectation was: Maybe it will go a bit up, but it’s [now] like a 40-fold increase. I don’t think anyone would expect that,” he said.

Again, Josh told us that he understood the rates could be variable but didn’t expect they could make a dramatic spike. Now he’s paying more than he would have if he’d simply gone the traditional banking route.

With an extremely well-capitalized CDP, Josh is unlikely to face liquidation. That said, he does expect to cut his time off short and take a job again sooner than he had planned.

He said:

“It was like: let’s liberate from the banks and all this shit and now we’re in the same situation.”

According to Walter, the two borrowers are not alone. He told CoinDesk that he’s in touch with several more borrowers.

“There’s a bunch of folks that have taken relatively small loans, but for them, they might be quite substantial as a fraction of their income,” Walter said.

What are the rules?

The question now is, do borrowers paying interest to the protocol enjoy any protections, and if so, what are they?

“What is this? What if any laws govern it? What if any laws should govern it?” Margot Saunders, senior counsel at the National Consumer Law Center, told CoinDesk. “Unquestionably it’s a loan.”

The way laws around lending tend to work in the U.S., Saunders explained, is that the reason for the loan indicates which laws apply, and laws protecting consumers tend to be more restrictive than laws protecting people leveraging investments.

“I think there is at least an argument that Truth in Lending or at least margin account rules would apply to these transactions,” Saunders argued. The Truth in Lending Act governs disclosures to consumers about the cost of different kinds of financial products. It’s difficult to make broad statements about a financial product used in many different ways, from the perspective of U.S. law.

On MakerDAO, people use it both as consumers and as investors. No one can say for sure how much of either kind of lending goes on because no one needs to provide that kind of information.

That openness speaks to MakerDAO’s origins in the early days of ethereum, when creators were more interested in what was possible than what was permitted. Which may explain why one borrower was able to cheerfully take out a loan late last year despite not being 18 years old yet.

Still, MakerDAO’s easy access days could be numbered. At Austin’s SXSW in March, U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission’s Valerie Szczepanik, the agency’s point person on crypto, specifically singled out algorithmic stablecoins as a category that’s very likely to be viewed as a security by her agency.

Saunders noted, “These are obviously new transactions and we are going to have some healthy litigation over it.”

MakerDAO team image via Twitter

This news post is collected from CoinDesk