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[nriacc]

Me & You Together Song | NRIACC: Matty’s Ending |

Nothing Revealed In A Common Crisis

Written by @imagine-that-100​​​

Description: | Here |

Word Count: 26k

Warnings: This series contains mature content and themes throughout

A/N: Hey besties! I can’t believe this is it. We actually got to the end! Thank you so so so much for sticking with me whilst I got this fic out, I am truly so so happy that people are still reading almost 2 years after I posted the first part. It really is mindblowing to me. I’ve got a few people I need to thank, dot for helping me plan a lot of the fic and for helping write chap 8, @murderousginger​​ and @sunsetinmyvein​​ for editing for me. A really really big thank you is going to @red---moon​​ and @alovesreading​​, I genuinely don’t think this fic would have ever got finished if I didn’t have you two for me to mindlessly rant to about it and giving me ideas and keeping me motivated (Red also gave me the idea for the arielle stuff back on the AM tour and A gave me the idea of the whole pauline storyline so you can blame them for that loolllll love you both). To the rest of you, the ones who have been reading for a longgg time, you deserve a medal, your asks and reactions have really kept me going so thank you so so so much, and if you’ve recently had a binge I really hope you enjoyed the rollercoaster of a fic. NRIACC really feels like my baby and I’m never going to write a mashup of worlds like this again, so thank you all so so much for reading and enjoying it. I'll be forever grateful for the love you’ve shown it. Now, I’ve kept you waiting long enough, I really hope you enjoy Wheels and her man's happy ending. Love you lots and enjoy x

Please let me know | Here | who’s ending you’re all choosing! (It’s all anonymous)

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~*~*~*~ June 15th 2020 ~*~*~*~

Matty’s heart felt like it was bleeding for you the night you called him upset asking if you could come and stay with him. He knew his heart always hurt when you got upset but with you crying out for him, it felt scarring.

Never had he felt such pain like it. The drive to yours felt like the longest one he’d ever done, despite this being the closest you’d ever lived to each other.

The rain didn’t help his anxiety of wanting to get to you as fast as possible but thankfully the roads were mostly dead because of the late hour. When he got to your flat, he let himself in with his key and he rushed to you, finding you clutching your rabbit teddy and crying in bed.

Matty doesn’t think he’s ever felt you hug him as tight as you did that night. He had you in his arms settling you down for the next hour, getting you to a point where the tears would dry up so he could get some of your things together and get you to his house where you pleaded for him to take you.

Matty would find out in the days after you started staying with him that you’d been struggling with the confines of lockdown a hell of a lot more than you’d been letting on. It broke his heart that you didn’t reach out sooner but he’s beyond thankful you finally did because the days after he got you, he saw that spark you always have in you reignite.

The first few days of you staying with him was hard. It was clear you’d got into such a bad place due to you sleeping though most of the morning, which was really unlike you as he remembered you always having him up earlier than anyone needed to be in mornings.

Matty would also catch you living in your head a lot. You weren’t being your usual chatty self and he felt like he had to pry you back out of a shell he doesnt ever think he’s seen you go into.

But thankfully after about a week, he got you back to your normal and creative self and he did this by encouraging you to come out for walks with him. Ones that were filled with places Matty had planned for the both of you to explore to keep your mind ticking over and keep the both of you talking even after you got back to his house.

That evening, you were both sitting in Matty’s courtyard and the small view you got of the sky as the sun was going now reminded both of you of your box paintings that were always a feature at your galleries. It was the perfect picture to paint and Matty’s simple request of “Could you please paint it for me?” was one you couldn’t turn down because the look on his face really did relight that creative fire.

Thankfully, Matty had grabbed your travel kit which has everything you’d need to paint something well and when your best friend rushes to get that when you said you’d give it a go, you do so feeling that excitement in your chest. It was a race against the ever changing light to capture what you can see of the sky well on the sketching paper which Matty had never ended up using which had been buried in one of his drawers.

Your best friend was entirely vexed watching you work. The way you’d gently bite your bottom lip or the tip of your tongue when you were really concentrating made his heart stutter. It had always been the little things when it came to you that had Matty in a chokehold, and watching you paint is certainly one of them.

But the main one is your smile. And the way your whole face lit up when you finished that painting that evening had Matty falling for you all over again, but he wouldn’t risk your friendship by doing anything about that. He was just so beyond thrilled to see you happy again.

It became your little tradition in the days after that. The both of you would sit outside and you would capture the sky in a box painting of yours and Matty would watch as you’d come alive with each stroke of your brush.

You were yourself again in those days too. Matty wasn’t worrying about you or having to try and pry you out of your shell.

Inside, you were feeling so much better and in your heart you knew that was all down to Matty. In the little things that he did for you, and the way he could keep you occupied with his conversations or his music for hours on end made living this new way of life so much easier. And you found your heart slipping back into its old habits.

Watching True Romance with him almost every night certainly helped with the uneasy feelings of lockdown passing. Because as long as you had Matty by your side and for you to cuddle into, you knew you’d be okay. You’d always be okay as long as Matty was there to comfort you.

~*~*~*~

You felt yourself get back to normal the more time you spent with Matty. It was like going back to default settings and things just felt so much easier. With every hug you felt happier, with every kiss on the cheek you felt your heart grow warmer. You felt yourself again and that was all down to Matty.

A few weeks have passed with you in Matty’s presence now and you’re certainly the happiest you’ve been in a long time and you caught yourself reverting back to your old ways.

The way you would act around each other made your heart stutter because it was like you were back together again without all the acts that prove people are in a relationship. Apart from that first night you came and stayed at Matty’s, you’d been staying in his spare room, not sharing with him like you realise you desperately want to.

The nights when you both fall asleep cuddling each other whilst watching films and neither of you are disturbed until morning are your favourites because you stay in his arms. The nights when Matty wakes you up so you can be comfier in your own bed leave you with a bitter taste.

There’s not a second you don’t want him by your side now. Every single second of the day that you get to be around him is a blessing and you’ve quickly and quietly fallen for him again. But you know that’s just you letting your repressed feelings come back to taunt you a little longer.

The more you think this over though, the more you question why you’re actually holding any of your feelings back in the first place. You’ve fallen for him again, and you’re not really sure when you actually did or the exact moment it happened, but the mere fact you want to be in no one's arms but his makes you his.

And you realise this one night about 2 weeks into staying with Matty. It’s no surprise to anyone that you’re a clingy drunk, but especially when you’ve just been watching your favourite film with each other and you’re already a bottle of red deep with him.

You’re currently lying on Matty’s settee, with his chest against your back and you’ve got Good At Falling by The Japanese House playing quietly through Matty’s speakers. The both of you had been getting nostalgic, asking each other things like if the both of you remember when you first watched True Romance together and if the both of you remembered when your Aunt embarrassed him one Christmas.

The warm feeling in your chest swells when you remember the cute moments you’ve had with him, and you find yourself turning over so you can see him when you ask in your tipsy state, “Do you remember when we first saw each other?”

“Yeah,” Matty nods, and you stop yourself from chuckling at the way he forces his eyes open a little more as if to try and prove to himself he’s not tipsy. He recalls the moment for you, “You were a very pixelated pretty girl on Skype somehow related to my best mate... I still don’t quite believe you’re related to Hann.” he tells you as he tucks your hair behind your ear so he can see you better.

“Your Aunt, definitely.” Matty grins, but he shakes his head, “But Hann… I don’t know how that works.”

“He’s not that different from me, you know?” You hum in amusement, before you ask, “Can I have a proper cuddle please?”

Your boundaries and filter has clearly been drowned away with the amount of alcohol you’ve had, or that will be your excuse anyway. Thankfully though, Matty nods with a smile and the both of you manoeuvre yourself so you’re lying between his legs with you practically hugging him as you nuzzle yourself into his chest.

Matty’s arms wrap around your back as he says, “He is, you’re a lot better.” and he even pulls the blanket over the both of you as it’s on the back of the settee.

You hum, fully enjoying how close you are to him and the comfort he brings you with his hand softly running up and down your back. And after a few moments of silence, you ask him, “Do you remember when I was over one year and you came not to talk to me or to Adam, but to my Aunt and Uncle so you could convince them that Adam had to stay around and go to Uni of Manchester?”

“I do.” Matty laughs a little remembering how dead set he was that the band was going to work and how mental that must have been for you to hear. “Although I remember that trying to convince Ross’ Mum and Dad was more difficult because they were so set on him having Salford Uni as his second choice instead of his first.”

“I’m glad everyone stuck around.” You say as you look around Matty’s lounge and see the pictures he has dotted around of his best friends.

It warms your heart, and it warms it even more when he agrees in a soft voice, “Me too.”

After another minute of the both of you cuddling in silence as you listen to the album in the background, you ask, “Do you remember the Halloween party we had?”

“The one where you dressed up as a sexy version of Wednesday from the Addams family? Or a different one?” Matty asks for clarification a little too fast which makes you laugh.

You nod against his chest, “Yeah, I was meaning that one.”

“Yes I remember that one very well.” Matty grins as he starts gently playing with the ends of your hair, “I fucking dreamt about that one for weeks.”

As you giggle at that admission, your best friend tells you, “Your emo phase really gave me more of the hots for you, Wheels.”

You smile, not finding that surprising at all, so you joke, “Who knew your downfall was black hair dye and a pair of fishnets, ey?”

“Mmm,” Matty hums in amusement, “The fact it was you played a part too though.”

“What about that girl Alice you were seeing for a while? The one before Lucy?” You ask, only vaguely remembering her but she definitely dressed a little emo like you, when her and Matty were sleeping together. “She definitely fit the bill.”

“She wasn’t you, Wheels.” Matty reminds you, as no one has ever really come close to you. The woman who’s lying in his arms today, the woman he doesn’t ever really want to let go of.

His words fill your heart with joy again and you sit with that for a minute before you ask him another question. “Do you remember coming to my eighteenth?”

“Yes, and you were wearing fishnets with a skater skirt and… I could never forget just how good you looked that night.” Matty can’t help but smile at the memory of you being so happy when you saw him and when you unwrapped that skateboard they bought for you. “Not to mention that was the first time you called me Curly.”

“I can’t believe you remember that night so vividly,” You chuckle, looking up at him as you admit, “I barely remember it, well, anything after nine o’clock anyway.”

“You were really drunk to be fair,” Matty smirks at you, “And I was just enamoured by you so I was watching you all night.”

“You realise if you weren’t obsessed with me you’d have known I was actually friends with Arctic Monkeys because they were all there.” You grin right back at him, still finding it hilarious that he didn’t believe you for so long.

“Damn, yeah.” Matty chuckles, and he resumes playing with the ends of your hair once you rest it back down on his chest. He ends up giggling to himself when he admits, “I only remember Y/B/F though... She was just as fit as you.”

You frown a little, even though he can’t see your face, but you call out his double standard nonetheless, “And you had an issue when I said I fancied George.”

“I never tried to shag your best friend, did I?” Matty makes a very good point, “You can’t say the same about that, can you?”

“Okay okay.” You know when you’ve been beaten so you’ll give him this one, “You have a point.”

Both of you giggle then and you settle again. You let your eyes close as you listen to Faraway over the speakers and it makes you snuggle into him impossibly closer. It warms your heart that this is the song Matty’s backing vocals are on and it makes you smile when he starts soft humming along to it now underneath you.

The lyrics really hit you hard, and it's at this moment you promise yourself that in the next few days you’re going to tell him how you feel. And even feeling him run his fingers through your hair now it makes your heart race for him, you want him back how you used to be when you were together properly.

And the thoughts of you together makes you nostalgic again. And you think back to the first summer you met again.

“What about teaching me how to skate?” You ask, keeping your eyes closed wanting the visual memories to come back more vividly, “Remember that?”

“That was such a fun day.” Matty can’t help but grin at the memory. “Will never forget the sheer panic on your face when I told you to move on your own.”

He feels you chuckle against his chest before you tell him, “I remember watching you all and feeling so left out… I just wanted to be as good as you all but I was scared.”

“Yeah, your first time on the ramps told me as much.” Matty laughs again remembering the way you were clinging to his arm and begging him to go on a slope instead.

You giggle again at that before saying, “And now I’m even better than you.”

“Well, the student becomes the jedi master or whatever shit Hann says.” Matty hums in amusement and it warms his heart when you let out a loud laugh. God, he just wants to kiss the top of your head and have you stay in his arms like this forever.

After another few seconds, you feel the need to ask again, “Do you remember-”

But Matty interrupts you, “Do you think I’ve forgotten?”

“What?”

“Do you think I’ve forgotten?” He repeats himself.  

You’re so confused, “About what?”

“About you?” Matty puts it simply, “About us?”

When you look up at him, still seeming like you don’t understand where the question has come from, ”You keep asking loads of questions about us and if I remember... Do you think I’ve forgotten about you, Sweetheart?

Your drunk and now tired mind almost lets your feelings spill. Truthfully, you want to go over everything to remind yourself why you love him, and you don’t want to ruin this moment with him now if he doesn’t love you too. So you settle on explaining, “I don't know if you remember everything I do. There's a lot to remember... I bet you remember so much about me in the years you were pining for me that I don't.”

The way you timidly say it, like you're almost scared or embarrassed to admit it makes Matty want to reassure you more than he ever has done before. He doesn’t want you for a second to think that you’re forgettable.

“I’d never forget about you, Sweetheart.” Matty looks into your eyes as he tells you that, and his face is soft and he’s smiling as he tells you, “You are in each of the best moments of my life… Top three are all you.”

Your eyes go a little wide, “Really?”

“Yeah.” Matty nods, his grin getting bigger.  

“Do you remember the day you told me you loved me?” He asks you, really hoping you do because it means so much to him.

You nod, remembering the day well, “Course I do.” and you really hope that one day soon you can start telling him again.

“That was the second best day of my life.” Matty tells you, “I remember sitting on the ramp in the skatepark and we were in our own little world. Entirely in everyone’s way and I knew we both knew what was coming... But when I finally said it and you said it back, I could finally breathe again.”

You almost want to cry when you remember just how much you loved him, and it's never really gone away because it's just been built upon and it’s come back so much stronger. Matty proudly states again as he tucks your hair behind your ear again, “Second best day of my life.”

“Second?” You ask a little curiously, because if that’s his second you don’t know what his top will be.  

Matty nods, “Yep.”

“What was the first?” You have to ask.

He grins at you and you know he will tell you, but he instructs, “Ask me my third first.”

“I hope your third is your music.” You really really hope it’s something like the day he won a Brit Award or a day one of his albums reached number one.

So you’re surprised when he shakes his head, “Nope.”

“Please tell me it’s something to do with music.” You need it to be at this point, because how can his music not be in his top three?

“If you count my muse as something to do with music, sure.” Matty's smile gets bigger when your eyes widen and you shake your head at him. He knows you’re about to tell him off so he tells you, “Music is involved but the music isn't why it was one of my favourite days.”

You practically plead with your eyes for him to tell you then, and when he does you don’t know how you restrain yourself from kissing him there and then.

“The day you told me that you’d be my girlfriend. That day you kissed me on stage and told me that you liked me back.” Matty finally tells you, “Will always be up there.”  

Your heart is beating even faster for him when you ask, “So what's number one?”

“The day we kissed for the first time in my bedroom.” Matty reveals, and you can see the genuine happiness on his face when he says, “That blew me away… Still don’t really think there will ever be a day like it.”

“You were all I’d wanted for so so long. And I couldn’t believe it actually happened.” You can feel how much he means his words as he smiles, “If your shirt that you changed out of wasn't in my room that night I wouldn’t have believed it happened… My lips tingled for days.”

You’re so in love with this man, it hurts.

But Matty ends his anecdote with a laugh, “All the while you were going through a moral dilemma because of your twat of a boyfriend.”

“Yeah well Peter can get fucked.” You chuckle, and you move a little further up Matty’s body so you can bury your face into his neck, “He never made me feel like you did when we were together. It was infinitely better with you Curly, I wish I’d just phoned him up and broke up with him then and there and stayed in Manchester.”

“I wish you did too.” Matty sighs a little as his arms wrap around your back again, hugging you impossibly closer.

After a minute, you hear him ask, “Do you know the exact moment I fell in love with you? Did I ever tell you?”

“I don't think we did share that with each other.” You tell him, and by your voice Matty can tell you’re getting tired now, so he makes your brain work a little.

Matty asks, “Do you know the moment for you?”

“Yeah,” You nod into his neck, “But I need to know yours first though… And I mean like proper love, not love at first sight.”

“I knew at the top of that ferris wheel.” Matty starts gently routing his fingers through your hair and he gives you a head massage.

He knows you’re tired and he remembers doing this to get you to relax to go to sleep endless times when you were together. “I knew I was down so so bad for you that day. And when you kissed me at the top, I knew you were it for me.”

Your heart bursts as the memories come back to you, and you’re closing your eyes even tighter in hopes that you’ll dream about it and relive it all over again. He makes your heart swell when he continues, “You made me feel so safe being with you up there… I just remember thinking ‘I love this girl so much, I never want to let her go’.”

You just about manage to say through the lump that’s just formed in your throat, “You’re so adorable.”

Matty smiles at that, and he can tell you're going to fall asleep any minute so he asks you, needing to know, “What about you? When did you fall for me.”

“Which time?” You say without really thinking about it.

Matty instinctively says, “The first time.” not fully processing what you just said.

“When you held my hand at my Aunt and Uncle's wedding during the speech when he started talking about my Dad…” Your tired voice explains and Matty wants to do nothing more than kiss you and hold you tighter when you say, “No one had ever done that for me before and you didn’t let go even after the subject moved on and I was so so thankful to you… I fell for you hard that day.”

Matty’s eyes tear up at that, and he can’t stop himself from quickly kissing the top of your head. He can feel the lump in his throat but he forces himself to take a few breaths so he doesn’t just start crying.

Matty had always asked you so many questions about your Dad and what he was like. He didn’t want you to ever feel like it was a subject you shouldn’t bring up as he knew that’s how your Mum sometimes made you feel. So it really means a lot to Matty that the reason you really knew you loved him is that moment.

At this point, you can feel yourself falling asleep so with every ounce of sincerity you can muster, you whisper, “Thank you for falling in love with me.”

Matty’s sure his heart stops for a second. Because his hand moving to give you your head massage definitely does for a second, but he covers that by kissing your head again before he whispers back, “You made it the easiest thing to do.”

Matty gets lost in his own memories of the both of you then. He goes over everything he can remember from the first time you met to you in his arms right now. And he holds you tighter when he thinks back to some of it, but he’s so grateful that you’ve found your way back into his arms now.

Matty can’t help but smile as he thinks about the conversation you just had with him. He loves how open you still are about everything, even if the alcohol is loosening your lips a little.

But then when he recalls near the end of your chat, when he asked if you remembered when you fell in love with him, he almost gasps when he realises what your reply was.

He’s unable to stop himself from thinking out loud and asking, “Wait, what did you mean which time?”

There was more than once that you fell in love with him? He knows that you’d always said that when you fell for both him and Alex it was because you’d just repressed your past feelings for him. But then after the both of you last slept together, the both of you knew that was a closing chapter in your life.

There was no doubt that Matty had since fallen for you again. With how supportive you were after Gabby split with him and how you’d been with him before lockdown, it makes his brain light up with the question, Has she fallen for me again?

But when Matty tries to look down at you for an answer, he realises you’re asleep in his arms. And that’s when he realises how long it’s been. Good At Falling is already at Faraway again meaning that that album has at least repeated itself more than once, so you’ve probably been asleep for a while now and he’s not noticed.

Your best friend lets you rest and now he stops giving you a head massage like he realises he has been doing for God knows how long and he just rests his hand on your back instead. However, Matty doesn’t know if it was the fact he stopped playing with your hair or something else that seemed to have you stir but after about 10 minutes you woke up.

“Sorry,” You hum, “I fell asleep.”  

“Let’s go bed, Sweetheart.” Matty encourages, rubbing your back a little to encourage you up even though he doesn’t want to let you go.

However, you plead, “Can we stay here please?” really not wanting to move out of his arms and get into a cold bed that you didn’t have him to warm you up in.

“You’re lucky I connected the lights to my Alexa the other month.” Matty gives you the confirmation and you smile like a fool in love as you let yourself try to get back to sleep then.

You feel like you’ve never been so cosy. You wish you could stay here forever.

After Matty turns off the lights and music on his phone, he lets it fall back beside him and he cuddles you into him more. And when he gently rests his head against yours, you know he’s going to try and get some sleep as well which makes you happy.

Matty has always found sleep tedious, but somehow you make it a lot easier for him. He’s almost asleep when he hears you whisper, “So far.”

“What?” He hums, not understanding where it’s come from.

But you really make his heart warm and he falls asleep with a smile on his face when he hears your reply.

“They’re the best moments of your life so far.”

~*~*~*~ June 24th 2020 ~*~*~*~

“Look what Jamie just dropped off.” Matty walks back into his lounge with a huge grin on his face and he’s holding up the Notes On A Conditional Form vinyl.

“Oh my god,” You make grabby hands at it, so keen to finally see what it looks like in person. Matty giggles and passes it to you as he comes to sit beside you.

Eagerly you pull the record out of the sleeve and your jaw drops when you see how glorious the neon yellow pressing of it is. You coo, absolutely loving it, “It looks so pretty.”

“It does.” Matty hums, delighted at the vinyl itself and seeing the way you’re grinning at it.

After admiring it for a minute more, you carefully put it back into the sleeve and then back into the record jacket which you see is the alternate, minimalist version of the album art.

You did both of them as asked, neither were that hard but the one that has the yellow cover you know is going to be the cover of the album on Spotify and all the other streaming platforms so you decide to ask about it.

“I still don’t know why I did all that artwork for Notes and then you quickly went for the minimalist sleeve.” You raise an eyebrow, hoping he’d answer the question for you.

“Cheaper.” Matty tells you, “Better for the environment, and that’s what I’m passionate about at the minute.”

“Yeah,” You nod, thinking it through and realising it probably is, “Fair enough.”

You look at the record in your hands again though and ask Matty, “Can I please listen to it?”

“Mmm,” He hums, “I don’t know.”

You pout then, leaning that little bit closer as you say, “Please.”

Other than the songs you’d heard on tour, you had no idea what the others sound like. You know that the album overall is all of the electronic synths and that is the vibe they have gone for with this album but you’re just so keen to hear it all and in the order they all settled on.

“It’s out soon,” Matty reminds you, “Do you not wanna wait till the listening party?”

That was originally the plan, you were in no rush to hear it, but now you’re just so keen to listen to the new album as you haven't heard anything new in so long. And you’ve been eagerly waiting for this album since you were on the US tour with them last year when they were recording it in the back of the bus and you just let them be.

“No, I want to be rapidly tweeting along with you.” You say, despite knowing it’s just a few more weeks you would be waiting. But the excitement has hit you now the album is physically in your hands, “I wanna know every last word by then.”

Matty takes a few seconds then and you really don’t know which way he’s going to decide. But when he sighs, “Okay.” you have to double check.

There’s excitement in your voice when you do, “You’re gunna let me listen?”

“If you will let me have that last painting you did outside.” Matty grins.

It was just a quick one you’d done two nights ago. The sky was a mixture of red blue and purple and you captured the moment so well and despite it just being a quick painting you weren’t attached to, Matty loved it. Yet another one he would proudly frame and put up if you let him.

“Of course you can have it, Curly.” You smile, calling him by his nickname despite the fact he’s got his buzzcut now. You tell him truthfully, “Can have any of them, you don’t have to ask.”

Because the quick ones you’d been doing were just fun practice for you, you never got attached. You remember back when you were younger Matty always used to be amazed by them whilst you thought they were just okay, but the fact he still wants one now makes you stupidly happy.

Everything about him does though. He makes you happy and you’re finding it hard to keep that to yourself now.

“We can listen after tea, yeah?” Matty nods at the vinyl that you just put down on his coffee table.

You nod, hoping the day passes by quickly, “Sounds good, I’m really excited.”

You brightly grin at Matty then, and he smiles back but you can see that it doesn’t quite reach his eyes and immediately you ask him, “What’s up?”

Of course, he tries to cover up his emotions though and immediately says, “Nothing.”

At that you give him knowing eyes. You’ve known each other for 18 years, nothing is not going to be the answer he gives you when you can tell there’s something, however big or small, bothering him.

“Sorry,” Matty apologises for attempting to keep it from you, but he leans back into his seat and takes a deep breath before telling you the truth, “I just get nervous when I know you’re going to hear an album.”

You’re thankful that it’s only that, and you can instantly calm him because there’s no way you won’t love his album. You adore all of his others and think they’re amazing and you will tell him that if you need to.

“Really?” You have to ask, “Why are you nervous?”

“I don’t want you to hate it… I don’t want you to be upset at anything I’ve said, not that I think I've said anything in this album but it still worries me.” Matty explains, a sombre mood falls over him when he tells you something you didn’t know he knew about. “I know you told me about you listening in LA but Jamie told me how bad you were as well a few years back and it haunts me a little… I never wanted to make you feel like that.”

“No,” You shake your head, not wanting him to think about that because you know how he’s probably taken it, “Don’t apologise for that.”

You turn towards Matty properly as you take his hand to hold as you address that specific night, “I took a lot of those songs the wrong way the first few times I heard them. I took everything as a personal attack when a lot of the things weren’t about me either.”

You continue as you look into his brown eyes, silently pleading for him to believe you, “I was in a weird headspace back then and I was looking for things to hurt me. Everything's so much different now, Matty... I’m so much happier than I was and regardless I don’t hate any of the songs on that album. I listen and I think they are gorgeous even if they do still hit every now and again, but that's a risk with every album that’s about me, not just yours.”  

“I-” Your best friend tries to start, but you need him to understand, so interrupt.

“I adore your music, Matty.” You put it as simply as possible for him, and you squeeze his hand when you say, “I love all of it… I-”

You have to stop yourself then because you almost tell him how you feel, something that you at least want to do after your birthday tomorrow. You’d like at least one more day of being as close as you are in case his feelings aren’t the same as yours.

“I loved A Brief Inquiry.” You start again and remind him, “Did you think I hated that album?”

“No, but I was still nervous when the release date came around.” Matty tells you honestly.

“Matty,” You want to hug him and never let go as you can still see the worry in his eyes. Thinking of things that can help, you remind him, “I’ve heard a few already and I don’t hate them.”

“Not even the things that are about you?” He questions because he really is worried about it.

The last thing he wants to do is upset you with anything he’s written about you. Even though he has been better with this album to not directly reference you, the lyrics just sort of ended up finding Matty and after he recorded them he realised a lot of them were about you and how he felt about you.

“No.” You promise him, “Writing songs has always been your cathartic way of getting your feelings out. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, and even if they do sting sometimes I don’t hate you for it Matty. I’m glad you’re getting it out.”

“I’m still so sorry for hurting you… For everything around 2016 really.” Matty’s eyes fall to his lap when he adds when his voice falters, “And everything earlier.”

Instantly, you know he’s thinking back to the accident. The cheating too but you know the accident is such a triggering subject for him you don’t want that to start plaguing him again like it once did.

“Hey.” You squeeze his hand. Gently asking him, “Please look at me.”

You see him blink a few times before he looks up and your heart bleeds for him. If you could take it all away from him you really would. The last thing you want is for him to feel guilty again about the accident that wasn’t his fault. You would literally find the police report again if you had to.

Seeing those brown eyes again but this time filled with a little more water than before, you remind him, “We agreed we’d live easier.”

“I know, but it still keeps me up sometimes, Wheels.” Matty says in a strained voice but he clears his throat a little to try again, “Not all the time, like it used to, but sometimes it just creeps back in.”

“Well that’s not allowed anymore.” You hope that he can hear just how much you mean your words in your voice as you promise him, “Just like your letter said about it being my reminder if I needed to remember how much I’m loved, I’m here and always will be to remind you that you’re forgiven.”

Matty has to look down at your hand then as his eyes fill with more water and his throat closes up. He takes your hand in both of his this time and he massages it for a silent minute and you just let him go through it, knowing he’ll speak up when he can and he wants to.

Your heart really does ache seeing him like this. All you want to do is trap him in a massive hug and tell him you love him and kiss him until all of those feelings go away.

And this is the moment you promise yourself that you're going to tell him how you feel. You’ll will do it the morning of the day after your birthday because you don’t want to waste anymore time. At this point you’re starting to feel like you’re hiding things from him and that’s the last thing you want.

Little did you know, Matty is having a similar conversation in his own head. After what you just told him, he doesn’t know how he hasn’t just told you how in love with you he is, and how everything that he once felt has come right back and it’s even stronger than it ever was.

He still finds it so shocking that you forgive him. Guilt still eats away at him a lot of the time, but it comes on in waves these days. Sometimes he’ll be okay for a while and then it will devour him for a few days at a time leaving him wanting to do nothing but curl up in bed and cry.

So the mere fact that you remind him that you’re able to forgive him has Matty emotional. He remembers you telling him before, that night in 2017, and you’ve told him again once or twice since but it really hits home for him now.

Hopefully things won’t keep him up tonight now you’ve reminded him of that. But he’ll probably just stay awake thinking about how he can possibly tell you the way he feels about you. Because he needs to tell you soon.

After a few minutes of you watching him, and him massaging your hand, Matty looks up at you and he smiles as much as he can and says, “Thank you, Sweetheart.” and he kisses the back of your hand too before repeating, “Thank you.”

~*~*~*~

You’re still a little certain Matty was putting it off for as long as possible for you both to listen to Notes tonight. Which you now understand but you were so insistent and excited Matty finally caved and put it on about 10pm.

You adored the new instrumentals that came after People, and you thought they were so beautiful. And the first new song with lyrics you heard was Yeah I Know which you really enjoyed too.

Then Because She Goes came on and you could sense Matty was a little on edge. He didn’t look at you during it which gave you an inkling that it might be about you. And when you heard the lyric ‘beautiful, please don’t cry, I love you’, you really hoped it was about you and it made you feel a little braver about telling him how you feel in a few days.

Jesus Christ 2005 has Matty singing with Phoebe Bridgers and as soon as they released the studio version a month ago, you’d fallen in love with it. You’d only heard Matty’s version of the song when he sang it during an interview in America that you were there for, but Phoebe’s vocals beside Matty’s made it even more gorgeous.

Roadkill made you laugh, as it was just a summary of that American tour and it sounds like a feelgood song. You also really loved the references to Robbers that he included too. Of course, you also already know Me & You Together Song but it makes your heart ache even more as you just long to tell Matty how in love with him you are.

Whilst you love the sound of I Think There’s Something You Should Know your heart hurts for Matty because he sounds like he’s going through it in the song, especially the second verse. It breaks your heart listening to what he’s talking about experiencing.

The first real line of Nothing Revealed / Everything denied being ‘I never fucked in a car, I was lying, I do it on my bed, lying down not trying’ makes you look at Matty acusingly. Because that was a blatant lie.

When the both of you couldn’t be at either Adam’s or his house the both of you went on your drives and got up to no good in the car. Both of you end up giggling through that song as you playfully call him a liar and you bully him for it and ask him again if he’s forgotten all of the things you got up to. You end up having to restart the song to hear it all properly as you were laughing so much.

Now you’re waiting for the next one to start which you can see from the back on the vinyl is Tonight (I Wish I Was Your Boy). As the beginning of it starts with the high pitched vocals, you quickly ask Matty, “Is this one about me?”

“The chorus is,” Matty looked like he was debating with himself before telling you that. But he continues, “Not the verses, I just made that up for a story to the song. But Yeah.”

You nod, not minding at all, as the title of the song really gives you some hope. But you need to listen first.

Matty goes shy on you again when the chorus starts, looking at the ground instead of your reaction. Which is fine but hearing him sing tonight I wish I was your boy makes you want to throw yourself at him and kiss him until you both need oxygen again.

As the song fades out Matty risks a glance at you, and when he already sees you looking longingly at him his heart leaps in his chest. He doesn’t really know where the confidence comes from, but he ends up turning the music down a little whilst he asks, “Did I fuck it royally?”

“No,” You shake your head, your voice soft with a little trace of amusement in it as you clarify, “You didn’t fuck it, you muppet.”  

You’re trying to say it without actually saying it and you know that it really isn't what you should do, but what you said gives Matty that little push he needs.

“Listen Wheels,” Matty turns to you a little more, and shuffles closer to you on the settee as he starts, “I’ve been wanting to tell you that over the last few weeks… I’ve really enjoyed you being around again and I- I don’t know if I should be saying this…”

You feel like your heart is in his throat as he continues, “I guess I’ve been nervous about it, but it’s you. You’re my Wheels and I shouldn’t feel nervous talking to you, and… yeah.”

The smile you’re trying to suppress is really fighting to come out as you watch Matty fidget and look almost anywhere but at you. His hands run over his short hair, a new habit of his now he can’t tuck his hair behind his ears when he’s nervous. But at this point you know what he’s trying to say.

“And you deserve the truth if nothing else, and I guess I just want to tell you that I-, we-, I-” Matty stumbles on his words before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath before saying, “Sorry, just give me a second.”

Despite your heart now thudding rapidly in your chest. You work up the courage to do it. Just a few seconds of mindless bravery and you hope with everything that you have that it will pay off in the way you want it to.  

“I’m in love with you, Matty.” You tell him.

It’s to the point, plain and simple. No room for any misunderstandings to take place, and as soon as you’ve told your truth you feel lighter for it. He knows… The ball is in his court now.

Immediately Matty looks up at you, shock clear in his voice, “What?”

“Yeah.” You nod, and you tell him everything, “It’s been on my mind for months, even more whilst I’ve been here. But I was scared to tell you.”

Matty ends up asking, “Why were you scared?” despite him not even being able to get his words out to tell you himself because he felt exactly the same way.

“Scared you wouldn’t want to try again with me.” Saying that makes you a little emotional.

It’s a scary possibility and the thought of it hurts your soul more than you’d ever let on if this did end up going the other way. But you’re worrying for absolutely nothing.

“Wheels, you’re all I’ve ever wanted,” Matty’s getting choked up as he smiles and tells you, “I love you so fucking much and I always have.”

Hearing that makes your eyes prick with tears, but even more so when he continues, “Of course I’d want to try again. Been dreaming about the idea for weeks.”

You giggle, wiping away your watery eyes before it turns into real tears, “So have I.”

It’s just relief flooding your system and seeing that Matty is the exact same makes you feel a little better about it. Both of you laugh as you dry your eyes before Matty chuckles, “Fuck sake Sweetheart. Come here.”

And you don’t hesitate for a second. His arms are open to you and you throw yourself into them, but immediately you attach your lips to his.

You’ve missed the feeling of him so much, the way his kisses light up your whole body and make everything feel okay. Kissing him feels like you're young, like it's the first time all over again and you never want to let him go.

It's a searing kiss, filled with all the longing and passion you have for each other as you hold onto him tightly, completely afraid to let go. It almost feels like a dream, but one that you’re certain each of you wouldn’t mind never waking up from.

With each kiss you’re trying to silently tell him just how much you love him over and over again and Matty is matching your intensity, making you feel his love like you’re hoping he feels yours. He’s your Curly, your match made in heaven, your soulmate, you were always meant to mean this much to each other in some way or another.

Both of you don’t want the moment to end, your lips feeling lonely and tingling for more when you pull away. But you have so much you want to say to him that you hold yourself back from kissing him until both your lips are swollen.

Matty is holding your waist tightly as you straddle his lap, but when you pull back, he can’t help but giggle as he tucks your hair behind your ear as he admits, “I’ve been wanting to kiss you for weeks.”

“Same.” You giggle, and both your thumbs are brushing his cheeks as you hold his face. And you’re so stupidly happy that you’re back in his arms that you’re trying to memorise everything about this moment. You tell him softly, “I’ve missed you.”

Matty’s watching you too, no doubt taking the moment in as well, but he makes your heart burst for him even more when he kisses you again and he mumbles against your lips, “I’ve missed you so much more.”

This time you kiss him properly, deepening it almost straight away. And it could be a minute or it could be ten that passes but neither of you care, you’re just beyond happy to be kissing each other again and with the knowledge that you know you love each other too, it makes things all the more special.  

When the both of you part, neither of you move away. You have your foreheads against each others as you catch your breath and share a quiet moment.

Matty smiles as he brushes his nose against yours in the softest eskimo kiss, loving the way he can practically see your eyes sparkle. You can’t disguise the pure and utter elation that you’re feeling.

“So?” Matty hums, the huge grin on his face not leaving for a second. He can’t really believe he gets to ask, “Curly and Wheels round two?”

Your heart melts entirely and you nod, wanting nothing more in the world. You tell him honestly, “You’re it for me, Matty.”

He wants to cry hearing that because that’s exactly how he feels. You feel like you could burst with happiness when he nods, agreeing entirely, “I want it all with you, Sweetheart.”

“I’m going to marry you.” You promise him, giggling slightly but that’s what you’ve always wanted with him.

“Good,” Matty nods, and he’s grinning like a fool when he says, “Because I will ask at some point.”

You giggle at that before kissing him again. You’re beyond words, beyond happy, and entirely too emotional to do anything else. All you can do is kiss the man you love with everything you have left to give him.

Both of you find it difficult to keep kissing, as all you wanted to do was carry on grinning. You have no doubt that for a long while you’ll be like this, all gooey and obnoxiously in love with each other but you already don’t want to change anything about it.

Matty loves you so much, and he always has and always will. Hearing you say that you loved him before was like cupid had shot him through the heart with an arrow all over again. Never for a second did he think he would get this second chance with you but the fact you seem to have felt the same way for months, just like him, has him thanking every higher power there might be.

From the first moment his eyes landed on you, he knew you were it for him. Forever would you plague his mind, body, and soul in the best way possible. It has meant that he’s loved you with everything he has, on every possible level imaginable, and he can’t let himself think about it for too long because he doesn’t want to cry, even though they would be happy tears.

Instead Matty pulls on your hair a little to stop you from pulling away and he bites your bottom lip too, still loving the way you react when you do it. And even when he pulls away to gently kiss all over your face to make you softly giggle before teasingly kissing down your neck, he’s just so thrilled your back in his arms and he gets to experience everything with you all over again but now with a fresh start.

He’s not ever going to fuck it again. You mean far far too much to him to ever let anything stupid happen again.

Of course, whilst you love him kissing your neck, right now you want his lips on your own again, but without his curls to pull on to encourage him back up it’s a little difficult. You end up giggling a little as you move your hand under his jaw and nudge him back up to you that way.

After a few more kisses, you pull away, before pleading, “Please can you grow your hair back. Please.”

You need his curls back. Whilst it's not a deal breaker, you miss them so much and all you want to do is be able to play with his hair again.

Matty giggles at your appeal, knowing it was bound to come at some point. But he nods and promises you, “Yes, I’ll grow my hair back.”

Truthfully, he would probably promise you anything at this moment in time with you like this in his arms again.

“Missed my Curly so much.” You fake a pout as you run your fingers over what little hair he has at the moment.  

“I’ve always been right here, Sweetheart.” Matty reminds you, “Not going anywhere.”

Your heart feels like it could burst again, and you tell him again, “I love you.”

And like he’s always been able to, Matty can see just how much you mean it in your eyes. You’ve always been so easy for him to read and he adores that he can see how much it affects you when he tells you, “I love you.”

You all but melt in his arms, and you’re completely and utterly besotted with him. You kiss him again and it’s just as electric as it was years ago. From the little pecks to the lengthy kisses, he takes your breath away and you’ve always taken his away.

Even when you eventually part, and just sit beside each other to cuddle together and Matty puts the end of the album on at your request, you can’t stop grinning. Not even when he goes back to where you were up to and he realises what was playing when you told each other how you felt.

“I’ve just realised you told me you love me whilst Shiny Collarbone was on in the background.” Matty sighs, “That’s really not how I envisioned that going.”

You can’t help but giggle at that now though, finding it rather hilarious after just hearing the song properly again.

“Not what I imagined either,” You laugh, “It’s yet another unconventional but very us moment, that’s for certain. But I love that.”

You end up cuddling into him even more as you both lie down on his settee and listen to the end of the album. You’ll have to have a proper listen again tomorrow because for the last half of it you’re entirely too joyous to pay it the attention it deserves.

Especially because your head is buried into Matty’s neck for most of it as you whisper how much you love him.

Matty shamelessly asks you after a couple of songs, “Do you wanna watch True Romance after the album and tell me you love me because I wanna watch it and tell you?”

“Of course I do.” You smile, kissing just below his ear before you trace them up his jaw until you find those pretty lips of his again.

You stay in that loved up bubble until his new album ends and even then it’s almost a hardship for you to let each other go for long enough to set True Romance up for you both to watch.

Of course, all throughout the film you’re stealing kisses from each other in between quoting the characters. In the parts neither of you care for, you cuddle yourself into the other more, loving the feeling of being back in each other's arms as close as you’ve wanted to be for weeks with the freedom to kiss each other.

I love you’s and I adore you’s were said throughout. Some whispered like it was a fun little secret that you were telling each other, others professed like you want to shout it from the rooftops.

But when the film draws to a close, with the happy ending version obviously, you kiss Matty as the iconic soundtrack music of You’re So Cool plays. And when you pull away, you’re grinning as you tell him, “I love you so much, Curly.”

Whilst you know in your heart it's impossible for him to, you do love it when Matty kisses you whilst he promises, “I love you so so so so so much more, Wheels.”

~*~*~*~ July 24th 2020 ~*~*~*~

Going to a live-in studio after a week of isolation from you all was probably the best thing for all of you. The only downside of it would be that you and Matty haven’t yet told any of the band that you’re back together again, officially or otherwise. They know nothing.

You’d done this mostly because of the fact you and Matty were nothing if not self-aware. You’ve been obnoxiously and almost sickeningly sweet with each other.

Since getting back together, you’ve barely left each other alone. You go on walks together, you eat together, you sit practically in the same seat despite there being a full settee for the both of you, and not to mention the way you cling to each other when you’re cuddling in bed.

It’s been nice just the two of you getting silently acquainted with each other again, both body and mind. Both of you have been the happiest you have in a long long time and you knew nothing would change that.

But now lockdown restrictions are a little easier, and the boys album is finally out, of course Matty was itching for something else to do. So that is how you’ve all ended up at this studio that you will be living in for the next few months.

You know you and Matty are staying here for the full time, as is George. You know that Adam will come and go so Carly isn’t on her own all the time, and you know Ross has been staying at his mates house over lockdown too so he might go between you all and them too.

It’s honestly a miracle that either you or Matty have let each other go long enough to get all of your stuff in the house. You’ve done a pretty good job at leaving each other alone too whilst you greet the rest of your friends but now it’s got to the point where you need to tell them.

The five of you are in the big lounge this place has and you take a deep breath before you stand up.

Here goes nothing.

“Okay,” You get their attention, “So you know I’ve been staying with Matty and-.”

“Yeah,” George interrupts, “Pretty offended you called him and not me.”

Instantly you snort at that, a serious moment quickly becoming funny with his fake jealousy and glare. You pout, “I’m sorry Georgie.”

He hums in fake forgiveness but the smirk that pulls at his lips gives him away that he’s joking. You’re about to start again, but just as you open your mouth, the drummer speaks up again, “You’re looking very pretty today, Baby.”

Whilst the nickname still makes your cheeks go hot, you say, “Thank you George.” before you try again, “But yeah, like I was saying, I’v-”

Of course, he interjects again, not letting you get your words out. He opens his arms and says, “Come and give me a cuddle. I've not had one in months and it’s unfair when you’ve probably had loads of Matty.”

You sigh then, but hide it as you look down to the ground so he can’t see. After a second, you walk towards him saying, “A quick one, okay?”

The drummer nods and he happily embaraces you, letting you sit on his lap for a moment as you cuddle into his big chest. You’ve certainly missed George’s hugs whilst you’ve not been forced to be separate from everyone.

After a long few seconds you try to pull back from him but his arms stay fixed around you. So you have to tap on his chest as you instruct, “Right, let me up.”

“No,” George says as he hugs you tighter, “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too,” You giggle, “But we have all the time in the world.”

“Nothing as important as right now.” The drummer squishes you into an even bigger hug.

You just give in at this point and let him hold on to you. Catching Matty’s eye you know he’s getting slightly irritable now, purely because you know he’s wanted to be honest with Adam and this new delay from George is grating on him.

Bless your boyfriend though, he’s been really worried about telling Adam. He thinks that your cousin is going to kick off at him and be against your relationship, and Matty’s worried it’s going to come between his friendship with him but also how close you and Adam are.

You’ve told him time and time again that Adam will be fine with it. That Adam will be happy for the both of you, but Matty doesn’t seem to think so.

Secretly, you think that might be something to do with how protective Adam was of you after the first time you split up, with him not letting Matty fight for you or even come to collect his things from your flat. You know your cousin was just trying to minimise the hurt you were going through back then and you wish it could have been different, but that’s how it played out and it’s left Matty quite scared now.

“George,” You say seriously now, “I need to tell you all something.”

“Tell us from here.” George tries to bargain, but you need to get up.

Playfully you try to tickle him to get out, but you forget that he’s a lot stronger than you and he doesn’t like being tickled.  

Immediately his hands are around your wrists stopping you, and he pulls you back into him, your wrists at his chest and he widens his eyes at you. You try and get your apology out but he’s too quick, both of your wrists are now in one of his hands and you glare and warn him, “Tickle me and I’ll hurt you.”

But of course, you’re in his lap all you can do when he tickles you is writhe and plead for him to stop. You despise the feeling of being tickled and you’ve punched him before now for him trying to do it, you’d punch anyone for trying to do it, but how you’re stuck and George is having a good laugh at you.  

Matty, having enough of it with how stressed he currently is, accidentally lets the news slip as he tells George off, “Will you get off my girlfriend!”

“Your girlfriend?” Ross’ asks, at the same time George’s eyes go wide and he stops tickling.  

You sigh, thankful for now being released, you tell them, “We were about to tell you.”

“I can’t believe the day finally came.” George says, deciding now he would just rest his hands on your thighs.

Ross starts to interrogate you, “Since when?”

You tell them truthfully, “The day before my birthday.”

“And you moved in with Matty when?” The bassist looks to your boyfriend for an answer.  

Matty thinks for a second but he recalls, “The beginning of June.”

“Wow,” Ross appears to look back around at you with a massive shit eating grin on his face when he says, “Not even three weeks.”

“Why do you care?” Matty asks, almost accusingly.

George grumbles, “Because he’s just won a bet.”

“What?” You question, noting his disheartened face and Ross’ elated one.

“Ross said less than a month,” George explains whilst he digs his wallet out of his pocket, “I said more.”

As you see him counting out £50 in cash, you shake your head at both of them, “You’re both little shits.”

“No, that’s you for losing me money.” The drummer scorns you as he reaches across to hand his friend the money.

“No, you’ve done great,” Ross grins, taking it and pocketting it immediately before he leans down and kisses the top of your head, “I'm very happy for you.”  

You’re happy about that, and Matty seems very amused that his friends have had a bet on the two of you. Truthfully it really wasn’t that surprising, but it made it all a bit more lighthearted. And you and Matty really are predictable like that so it’s funny they have tried to make a profit off of you both.

However, you realise that the most important person you wanted to tell has yet to speak a word. You look over to your cousin and try to gauge his reaction, “Ads?”

He’s silent in his chair, just watching you all. It has Matty’s heart racing and not in a good way at all. A quiet Adam could result in many different things, the worst being when he looks disappointed, closely followed by the times he’s exploded in anger, but none of you can predict how this is about to go.

And that’s why you look at him and sincerely plead, “Ads please please don’t be upset, it’s really not to make your life difficult, I just-”

“Y/N,” Your cousin holds a hand up to stop you from overthinking, “As long as you’re happy and my twat of a best mate doesn't hurt you ever again, even once, I’m happy for you.”

At that you smile and just glance at Matty because you knew he would be happy for you.

“Not going to hurt her ever, Hann,” Matty promises, looking your cousin dead in the eyes when he says, “I swear on my Nana.”

Adam maintains his eye contact for a few silent seconds, just to intimidate him the tiniest bit more before he visibly relaxes and smiles, “Then I’m happy for the both of you.”

“Wait,” Matty looks like he can’t believe what’s just been said. He asks your cousin, “Really?”

You interject thought to remind Matty, and you have a big grin on your face as you say, “I told you he’d be fine.”

Matty looks at you like he just might cry, and he looks back at Adam again wanting confirmation, “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, of course I am.” Adam nods and he looks at Matty sincerely when he says, “You’ve always loved her Matty, and you make her happy… She’s been in love with you again for months.”

You’re feeling all gooey inside watching this take place. And your cousin knows you so very well that you didn’t even have to tell him that you loved him again

Tears prick your boyfriend’s eyes then, and he holds no shame at all in letting a tear or two fall before he then leaps on your cousin shouting, “I love you Adam Hann!”

“I love you, I love you, I love you!” Matty yells at the top of his lungs before he grabs the sides of Adam’s face and he pulls him into a big sloppy kiss.

The kiss has you, George, and Ross cackling instantly and you’re so happy Ross manages to take a picture of it. It lasts a fair few seconds much to Adam’s disgust and the rest of your amusement. But it’s just fucking cute to see Matty so fucking happy and entirely relived, even if he does torture your closest family.

When Matty pulls away, and Adam tries his best not to laugh, Matty sits on his lap and continues shouting, “Thank you for your cousin! Thank you thanks for letting me fuck her and not getting too upset about it. Thank you for being a fucking legend, I love you, I love you, I love you.”

And your boyfriend pecks kisses all over his face too feeling so overwhelmed with joy. He’s adorable.

“God, I’m gunna kiss your Mum when I next see her too.” Matty chuckles, “Maybe even your Dad too.”

You laugh fully hearing that because he probably would. And your cousin looks even more disgusted by it all, which is even better.

“Please no,” Adam pleads, still trying to push Matty away, “I’m letting you kiss my cousin, not my Mum.”

“Thank you Hann,” Matty kisses his forehead again, “I love you so much.” before he traps him in a tight hug that has your heart melting.

“I love you too Matty.” Adam grins and he hugs your boyfriend right back.

As you’re watching this cute, sweet, heartfelt moment take place, you just sit back in George’s lap and enjoy the moment. You adore that your boyfriend loves your cousin just as much as you do, and you’ll always love their friendship.

However, as you’re admiring them, George whispers in your ear, “Does this mean our threesome can happen now?”

You almost choke on air. That truly was the last thing you expected George to say as you’re witnessing this wholesome practically family embrace happening in front of you.

Unable to stop yourself, you snort and shake your head in disapproval at him. But instead of giving him an answer, you just jokingly pat his cheek and say, “Give me another month with him, Babe.”

George chuckles at that, and he wraps his arms around your waist so he can hug you as he says, “In all seriousness, I’m really happy for you Baby.” and he leans down and kisses your shoulder.  

“Thank you Georgie.” You pout and you kiss the top of his head because despite being a menace you do love him and he’s adorable. You want him to find his real soulmate now, and you even gently knock your head against his as you smile, “Just gotta find you your girl now.”

“Yeah,” George hums, but he sounds disheartened when he admits, “Can't see that happening any time soon.”

And you know he means with lockdown restrictions and everything happening in the world right now. And he’s not that big on doing anything online but you have faith he will find his girl when he least expects it.

You just smile and assure him, “She’ll come spinning in soon, I have no doubt.”

George grins and leans forward to kiss your cheek quickly. And you realise he’s done that right before Matty gently grabs your hand and drags you up from your seat.

Your boyfriend traps you in a tight hug as he says, “I love your brother.”

“I love him too.” You chuckle, and Matty very quickly kisses your lips before you head to Adam and he jumps on George and starts celebrating like it’s the first time he’s ever kissed you.

You wrap your arms around your cousin when you say, “I love you Ads.”

“Love you too.” He responds and you love the way he hugs you even tighter when he assures you, “I’m really really happy for you both.”

“Thank you for assuring him,” You whisper, looking over Adam’s shoulder to see your boyfriend now entirely at peace and horrendously happy. You tell your brother, “He was really really worried.”

“I could tell. But honestly B, as long as you’re happy, I’m happy.” Adam promises, pulling away from the hug to look into your eyes and remind you, “And he’s obsessed with you, it was only a matter of time before you two found each other again.”

“Don’t make me cry Bro.” You warn him because that nearly got you.

Adam just chuckles then and you chat about how Carly and their dog Stevie is for a few minutes. That is before something occurs to your cousin and he has to ask you about it.

“Have you told Alex by the way?” Adam asks you.

“Not yet, I'm going for a walk with him next week and I'm going to tell him then.” You explain, “I wanted to tell yous first so please don't say anything until I do.”

You feel like you owe your other best friend that much at the very least after everything you’ve been through.

“Don't worry, I won't.” Adam promises, “If you had I was just wondering how it went, but I’m sure it’ll be fine. He will just want you to be happy, same as me.”

“Hope so.” You smile.

You are a little worried about it, but after everything you’ve been through you know in your heart that everythings going to be fine when you tell him about you and Matty. You know your best friend just as well as you know your cousin, and you knew he would be fine so you can’t imagine Alex being funny about it.

Adam assures you though, “I know so.”

The rest of your first day at the studio is really fun, and you adore that you get to spend so much time with them over the next few months. After going from no one to having your family right back in front of you it makes you feel so thankful and grateful that you’ve all been okay.

Whilst no other artists are here that they want to record with, you really do want to make the most of your time alone with them. And that first night, you all ended up ordering a huge banquet for you all, and you had the best time laughing and eating and drinking the night away.

Arguably, the funniest part of the night was the moment Matty called you over, “Hey Wheels?”

“Curly.” You grin as you walk over to take his extended hand and he pulls you towards him so you can sit down on his lap.

You happily oblige, but not before pressing a kiss to his lips.  

Your boyfriend is all smiley when you pull back, and he silently thanks his lucky stars that you’re his again before he asks what he called you over for, “Can I ask you a few words in French?”

“Course you can.” You nod, happy to help him with anything he’s curious about.

“Okay, how do you say ‘bag’?” Matty asks.

“That’s an easy one.” You hum, “Sac.”

George then chips in and asks, “And the number one is Un, right?”

“Yep,” You smile, encouraging him even though that is primary school knowledge, “Très bien.”

“What’s ten?” Matty asks, drawing your attention back to him.  

“Dix.” You tell him, giving him the benefit of the doubt because he’s drunk, but he really should know that, drunk or not.

George asks you again, “And how do you say ‘happiness’?

“Bonheur.” You tell them with a little grin on your face because that’s the exact emotion you’re feeling.

You’ve just had a lovely meal with your family and you’re having the best time getting drunk with them. An evening filled with endless laughs and you’re too elated and blissfully unaware as to how you’re being set up.

“Say all them words in a sentence for me.” Matty asks, giving your waist a squeeze of encouragement, “I know it won’t make sense but please do it.”

Clearly, because you’ve had alcohol yourself, you don’t realise the trap that you’re about to walk straight into.

“Bag, one, ten, happiness?” You frown for a second, but Matty nodding in approval has you doing it without much thinking. You say them all together for him without giving it much thought, “Sac on dix bonheur.”

Matty and George burst out cackling at the same time then, and then you realise what you’ve said. The phrase loosely sounds like you’re saying, ‘Sat on this boner’ in English.

“You're such a dickhead Matthew.” You smack him over the back of his head playfully. You stand up, getting off his lap as you retake your seat between a chuckling Ross and Adam.

You look at the two best friends on the other side of the table and scorn them accordingly, “I did not learn an entirelanguage for you to do that to me.”

“Hey,” Matty holds up his hands in surrender but his amused grin never leaves his face. He looks like he could burst out laughing at any second as he says, “Just trying to be funny.”

“Stop trying to be funny in a foreign language,” You shake your head, “It doesn't work. Especially like that.”

“Was pretty funny to me.” George mumbles behind his hand but you hear him loud and clear.

“Fuck off George!” You shout at him before picking up your glass of wine and downing the last of it.

“Aw Babyyyyy, don’t be like that.” George pouts then, pretending to be all concerned with you until he cracks and says, “I just want you to bag one ten happiness, Baby.”

At that, Matty and Ross drunkenly snort the loudest you’ve possibly ever heard before they burst into a shriek of laughter. George joins in and it takes everything you have to not laugh along with them because even Adam cracked at that and he usually hates jokes about you like that.

“Ross,” You shake your head, “I expected better of you.”

“I’m only mere mortal, Y/N/N.” He laughs before he traps you in a side hug, “Besides, you wanna bag one George and Matty’s happiness too.”

The whole table erupts back up then, and you start laughing. It’s Matty and George’s drunken breathless cackles that have you laughing, and you just push Ross’ shoulder as you fake disapprove of his joke.

You love these boys so much, and despite them all being absolute menaces, it really is good to see the old gang all back together.

But Christ, this is going to be a long few months

~*~*~*~ 3 days later ~*~*~*~

“What you doin’?” Matty makes you jump as he pulls your AirPod out of your ear whilst you were listening to Favourite Worst Nightmare particularly loud.

You turn back to scorn him with a distasteful frown, and at the same time you quickly close your laptop. Acting innocent, you say, “Nothing.”

Matty chuckles at your shocked reaction, but the way you shut your laptop far too quickly has your boyfriend curious, “What were you looking at?”

“Nothing.” You maintain your ground.

“Wheels…” Matty smirks, “Shall I get George to hold you down whilst I tickle you, or do you wanna just tell me?”

Teasingly he leans down over you then, and you maintain eye contact with him trying to seem like you have some sort of ability to say no to him. But that only lasts a few seconds because your boyfriend just leans down and kisses you sweetly until you’re both giggling.

“I was looking at puppies, okay?” You give in and tell him.

The only reason you didn’t want to tell your boyfriend that is because you don’t want him to think that you’re sad for looking at cute dogs whilst he’s busy at work and you don’t feel like painting today. Sometimes looking at puppies is all the serotonin boost a person could need.

“Puppies?” Matty raises his eyebrows in slight surprise.

“Yeah,” You nod, “In the first few months of lockdown I was really debating getting one.”

Matty sits down on the settee beside you, and he excitedly says, “Show me.”

“Really?” You ask a little wide eyed.

“Yes, I love dogs,” Matty reminds you, before laughing, “Sweetheart, where have you been? That Coup De Main photoshoot with the puppies was the best one ever.”

You smile thinking back to those adorable pictures of your friends and you open your laptop back up to show him your favourites which takes at least 20 minutes. Matty finds it funny how you’ve gone as far as to bookmark the ones you absolutely adore, but he thinks his heart stops when you show him a black Cane Corso puppy.

“This little guy was borning back in April and no one has snatched him up yet.” You show your boyfriend all the pictures of this cute little guy getting bigger as the pictures go on. “I’ve watched him get older at this point.”

“Oh my god, look at him.” Matty coos loudly at a particular picture of the cute pup giving the camera those eyes that you just can’t say no too.  

“He’s fucking adorable.” You quickly agree, and you’re about to change to close your laptop again when Matty stops you when he excitedly points at your screen.

“Wheels!” Your boyfriend gasps excitedly, and you see him point at the location the pup is at, “That’s like a forty minute drive away!”

“Yeah, I know.” You sigh, not thinking much of it and you wonder why he’s so excited.

And Matty turns to you and says, “Let’s fucking call them and get him.”

Your eyes go wide, “What?”

“Let’s go and get him.” Matty repeats, but this time he’s more excited, like a puppy himself who hasn’t been trained yet.  

Just to be certain, you ask, “You wanna get a dog?”

“If you wanna get a dog with me, Wheels, I will get one with you?” Matty is grinning so hard, his cheeks start to hurt. But he is serious when he adds. “I don’t wanna pressure you, like if you don’t want to because I’ll be away on tour sometimes and you don’t want to be left with him. We don’t have to but if you wanna get a dog with me I wanna get one with you.”

“I don’t feel pressured,” You promise him, “I just didn’t think you’d wanna get a dog today... Besides, a dog would be nice company when you’re away anyway, that isn’t a hardship. A dog would be easier to deal with than you some days.”

“But you won’t have to deal with me not being here for a while yet,” Matty leans forward and kisses your lips a few times between him grinning like a child who wants a sweet. “So… We could call and see if he’s still available?”

You can’t even pretend like that’s not a great idea. Kissing him back quickly, you question, “Do you wanna call or shall I?”

~*~*~*~

You were the one that ended up calling the owner up and after a lengthy chat, you went to see the puppy. And he was fucking adorable.

The owner did their checks on you and Matty, seeing if they felt comfortable enough around the two of you, asked you about the quality of life you could give the dog with where you both lived and they seemed pleased with your answers and the way you interacted with the puppy. From yours and Matty’s point of view it all felt like the interview of sorts was going well and you were really pleased with their decision.

They decided that they were happy enough to sell you the cute little Cane Corso puppy and that’s how you’ve ended up with the little guy on your knee as Matty drives back to the live-in studio.

The little guy is currently asleep on the makeshift bed of blankets you brought with you and you’ve been stroking him non-stop to keep him settled. You can’t stop looking at him and you know Matty feels the same and as every chance he has he’s glancing at your new puppy.

Matty grins at you, “I can’t wait to get him toys and to play with him.” and he gives the pups head a little scratch whilst he doesn’t need to change gear.

Your boyfriend can’t stop looking at the way there’s a smile permanently fixed on your face. Even you cooing and awhing at the small dog, he can tell has you all gooey inside and him seeing the two of you together has Matty feeling the exact same.

“Oh, I have no doubt that you and this little guy getting into play flights will be pure mayhem,” You laugh, “Especially in the studio with George there to tease him as well.”

“Mayhem…” Matty hums, a smile growing on his lips. “That’s a cool name.”

“You wanna call him Mayhem?” You almost gasp, looking down at the poor dog who has been nothing but sweet and playful in your presence. You cuddle him closer, “But he’s so cute.”

“But did you see him with his Mum, he was so chaotic,” Matty chuckles thinking back to the owner's dog and the way the pup interacted with its Mum, bouncing about around her and probably annoying the older dog a little. It was cute, so Matty says again, “Mayhem would be such a fitting name. Or we could call him Chaos.”

You think about it for a second, and you really can’t imagine yourself shouting Chaos at the park when you take him out for a walk. So you agree to Matty’s first suggestion.

You quickly tell him, “I prefer Mayhem.”

“Mayhem it is, Sweetheart.” Matty confirms with a nod.

You laugh, finding deciding on a name in a car with Matty all too familiar. But you wouldn’t change it for the world.

After about 10 minutes, little Mayhem is awake again and he keeps trying to move out of your lap to sniff and lick Matty which he does to his arm a few times. You have again just had to pick the puppy up and place him back in your lap as he was trying to get to your boyfriend.

“No no no, you can play with your Dad when we get home. Cuddle me Mayhem.” You tell the puppy as you cuddle him into your chest again. But then he looks up at you with those adorable eyes and you start babying him, “Yeah, you’re Mayhem. That's your new name. And you’re so so cute.”

Matty can’t help but find this whole interaction rather adorable as you continue on, “I'm going to need you to stay this cute forever, or at the very least until your Dad goes back on tour and you can be my guard dog and my best friend. Deal?”

And like he can understand you, Mayhem licks your nose as if in agreement which makes you giggle, “Thank you Mayhem.”

Matty’s heart just melted watching what he could of that scene which just took place. He loves you so fucking much and he can’t wait for Mayhem to worm his way into his heart almost as deep as you go.

Thankfully for Matty, the traffic in front of him stops at a red light so he can reach over and scratch Mayhem’s head, but when you look at your boyfriend you see that he’s smiling at you with a lot of emotion in his eyes.

“What?” You ask gently as you smile back at him.

“I’m just happy Sweetheart.” Matty grins, and he genuinely means it with the whole of his being.

His chest feels full with the love he has for you and the visual of you holding the new addition to your little family. Matty doesn’t think he’s ever been as happy as he is right this second.

“I'm glad,” You smile at your boyfriend, and you lean down to kiss the top of Mayhem’s head as he licks Matty’s wrist and you say, “I have no doubt he’ll be a handful but we can handle it.”

“We can.” Matty nods, his smile getting bigger when he says, “This little guy is just practise for when we start a proper family, ey?

It takes everything you have to not let your eyes well up then. Instead you just look at the man you love with the whole of your heart and nod, “Yeah.”

For a few seconds, you both look at Mayhem, laughing a little when he goes to nip Matty’s hand because he’s getting a little too excited. But when Matty scratches the dog's head instead, you tell your boyfriend to make sure he’s aware, “I love you, you know.”

Your words make his heart swell, and his do the same to you when he sincerely tells you, “I love you more.”

You shake your head, “Impossible.” because with the way you feel about him, you don’t know how he could love you more.

But he really can. He’s loved you since he first saw you, and he will remind you every single day that he loves you more than he ever thought possible.

“Not for me.” Matty shakes his head and leans across to kiss you.  

~*~*~*~ August 7th 2020  ~*~*~*~

Of course when you got back to the studio a few days ago, the guys absolutely loved Mayhem. The evening of work they had planned was thrown out of the window entirely.

Everyone loved the dog, you and Matty barely got a moment to yourselves with your new dog, but thankfully you got that when you went to bed and Mayhem came and cuddled you both. And the owner had already had him vaccinated too so you got your moments alone with your puppy when you went out on walks too.

He’s a good dog, completely adorable and as he’s a little older than most puppies usually are when they leave their Mum, he was trained a little too. There was still work to do but you have all the time in the world with him.

Matty kept calling him chonky which never failed to make you laugh. You were honestly so thrilled, and even today when you drove back to London with Mayhem so you could go on your walk with Alex in his local park, you’re excited for someone else to meet your new dog too.

Alex met you at the park, and immediately he crouched down to Mayhem’s level and let the dog sniff, lick, and even jump on him. Your best friend looks like he could spend all his time with your new dog and you both laugh when he jokingly told you to go back home and he would take Mayhem on the walk.

When he stands up, you hug your best friend so tight as the last time you got to hug him was back in March. It’s been a fucking long 5 months.

You and Alex walk and catch up with each other for a long while. And obviously it gets to a point where you have to tell him about your relationship status.

After just building your way up to getting it out, you just end up telling him simply, “Me and Matty are back together…”

You find that you’re almost bracing yourself for some sort of negative reaction from him, but instead your best friend keeps a straight face, and he looks at you and asks, “Are you happy?”

“Yeah,” You nod, “I really am.”

You have no doubt that this is the happiest you’ve ever been. You’re hopelessly in love with your boyfriend and all of your friends are fine and healthy in the midst of the pandemic you’re currently in.

The painting’s you’re doing are the best you’ve ever done. You’re the most inspired to create you ever have been, and you’re happy in your own body and in yourself.

“Good,” Alex smiles, and he playfully nudges your shoulder as he says, “I’m happy for you. For you both.”

And it’s like relief floods you. All you’ve ever wanted is for both of your best friends to get along, and you realise it was partly your fault that they never did, but after hearing Alex say he’s happy for both of you, it makes you think that they can actually be friends with each other now.

“Thank you, that’s all I want for you too.” You’re grinning like a fucking idiot with how joyous you currently feel. “I just want you to find someone and be really happy with them.”

“Thank you Angel.” Alex says, but then you watch as he looks down to the ground and tries to hide a huge smile coming to his face.

Immediately, you stop walking, much to Mayhem's distress, but you make your best friend look at you when you ask, “What was that grin?”

“Nothing.” He shakes his head, and he goes shy, so you know something is going on. Or more like someone.

“Alexander Turner, that was not nothing,” You’re grinning now, seeing him all embarrassed. You don’t let it go, you press on, “You had someone in mind… Who was it?”

“I’m sort of speaking to someone and it’s at the point where we never want to be off the phone to each other.” Alex admits and his cheeks get increasingly rosy as he gets more embarrassed.

Your jaw drops, absolutely thrilled for him and loving this information. More details are needed though, and you continue to pry as you both start walking again, letting Mayhem explore a little more.

“Who?” You excitedly ask, “Do I know them?”

“Believe it or not,” Alex chuckles, running a hand through his hair before he looks at you and explains, “You actually had a hand in setting us up.”

Your eyes immediately go wide, not recalling doing anything to set him up with anyone. You wonder if it’s another artist you’ve made him listen to before now and he’s met them because he said he liked their music. But you’re well off.

“Who?” You ask with wide eyes.

Alex is trying not to grin like a fool as he explains, “Do you remember who you met in Tennessee with Matty?”

“Ella!?” You almost scream her name in the park.

Alex is chuckling at your wide eyes and the way you ask excitedly, “You’re speaking to Ella?”

“Yeah, we’ve been talking non-stop since New Year.” Alex confirms, with pink cheeks and he’s a little embarrassed when he admits, “Literally not an hour goes by when we're not on the phone or texting each other.”

Instantly, you’re calling your best friend adorable and he tells you how they started talking again. For the entire story you’re cooing, making Alex more blushy but he tells you how much she means to him and how finally he wants to pursue her properly.

Whilst you think this new relationship is the cutest thing ever, you have to bully your best friend for a second when you remember a defining feature of Ella’s.

“Oh, you’re a horny fucker,” You look at your best friend with knowing eyes, “You just want that ‘Pure Desire’ tattoo wrapped around your throat.”

You couldn’t really forget that tattoo on the back of Ella’s hand if you tried. When you were dancing with each other on the side of the stage at The 1975’s show in Nashville, you grabbed that hand of hers many times to twirl her around and you’re sure you were accidentally longing for it around your own neck.

Alex laughs, and he nods, “I wanted that hand wrapped around my throat eight years ago.”

“Should have put a ring on her back then instead of that other American.” You tell him, thinking how him and Ella would have probably gone the distance if he had gone for her instead of Arielle.

“Yeah yeah I know, but we're going to make up for lost time.” Alex is smiling like a fool as he tells you, “I really like her and we get on as if we’ve still been chatting all these years.”

You’re beyond happy for your best friend. You can see that he’s entirely in love with her already, as his eyes sparkle when he talks about her, the exact same way his eyes used to be when he looked at you.

You’re so thankful he’s found the right person for him though. And you hope to every higher power that they work out.

“I’m a little bit jealous of you,” You admit, thinking back to meeting her and what you’ve seen on her social media since, “She’s gorgeous.”

“She is.” Alex nods, and he is entirely enamoured with Ella.

“Not going to lie Alex,” You’re not really that embarrassed when you reveal, “Her Instagram has me in a chokehold. No pun intended.”

And it really does. She’s hot as fuck. And she takes the most amazing pictures of both other people and herself. The photoshoots she’s done of herself and her friends had your eyes going wide and you definitely want her to take your picture.

When you get married you will definitely be asking her to do your boudoir pictures.

“Same.” Alex laughs as he admits.

But you admit just how far back you went, “No, like, I went back to 2014.”

“Stalker.” Alex laughs at you, as if he’s not done exactly the same.

“You’d understand if you’d seen that motorbike picture of her.” You tell him, because she looked sexy as fuck lay back across her motorbike, her figure on full display for everyone to see.

The woman isn’t a model, but she really fucking should be. She just posts content like that, looking all hot for free. She should get paid to do it. The woman is stunning.

“Yes,” Alex shyly nods, “Believe me, I know the one.”

“Ha. I bet you do.” You give him a knowing look, “Dirty boy.”

And as soon as he avoids eye contact you know for a fact that he has been a dirty boy to pictures of her.

Alex tells you about how Ella has been planning to move to the UK as Focus Creeps is taking a change in direction and if she moves to the uk with her boss she will essentially get to be second in charge. So it seems like it will be the both of both worlds, if she moves she will get a promotion and she gets to be with Alex.

The both of you stay and talk for a few hours, and it feels like the time flies by. Before you know it, you realise that to beat rush hour back to the studio you need to be heading off.

Of course, you offer Alex a lift home, but he declines saying he’s going to call Ella on his way back and it makes you coo over their relationship again.

Whilst you know you hugged him earlier, as you’ve been walking around, you notice that some people have been walking further apart, so you ask Alex, “Can we hug goodbye or is it still not allowed?”

“I won’t tell you if you don’t.” Alex grins and you don’t hesitate to throw your arms around him.

As you hug each other tightly, you tell him, “I love you Shakespeare, and I’m so beyond happy for you and Ella.”

“Love you too Angel, I’m happy for you too.” Alex pressed a kiss to your temple, “And once she’s over here we’ll do another walk with her, and go out or something.”

“Yes please, I'd love that.” You nod and you give each other another long squeeze before you let each other go.

You love your best friend so much and you’re so happy that he’s found his girl.

And you love that he loves your puppy too because as soon as he’s let go of you, he crouches down to pay your dog the attention he deserves.

After playing with him for a minute and getting him all excited, Alex chuckles as he pets him, “Nice to meet you Mayhem. I’ll see you again soon.”

You give your best friend one last hug, smiling, “Bye Shakespeare.”

“Bye Angel.” Alex smiles.

~*~*~*~ 7 April 2021  ~*~*~*~

Whilst you’ve been through two more lockdowns since you first got Mayhem, life has improved for you more than you ever thought it could. You and Matty are closer than ever, completely and utterly in love still and you have completely moved into his house with him.

You rent out a little art studio a little further into the city which you absolutely adore, and you have booked another gallery for the summer of 2022. You’ve been taking a lot of commissions recently and every customer seemed to adore them, and you’re really excited for more to eventually come through.

Mayhem is a lot bigger than he was, as he’s just about coming up to being a year old. He is still the most gorgeous and playful dog and you and Matty have him fully trained now and he’s definitely a Mummy’s boy, which is even funnier when you cuddle him instead of Matty and your boyfriend gets jealous.

On a very bright side, you finally have your curly haired brunette back.

During the lockdowns Matty ended up bleaching his hair when he still had a buzzcut, which was a nice change you will admit. You even liked it when he ended up putting a pastel pink dye over that as it made waiting for his hair to grow out a little more fun.

But thankfully, now you have your Curly back and he’s looking as gorgeous as ever. His long unruly curls are back and if you have any say in it, they will never be leaving again.

All of your friends are also doing amazing too. Y/B/F and Charlie are back in the flat as whilst Covid is still around, it’s a lot less dangerous thanks to the vaccines. They are happy and have set a date for their wedding for this coming August so you’ve been helping her plan everything and you’re really excited.

Alex and Ella are official and when she moved to the UK, Ella pretty much moved in with Alex straight away. It was so easy to tell how they effortlessly love each other and the more time they spent together the closer they became. She was staying in a flat for the first month she came over but she was with Alex every single day, so there was really no point in them delaying it.

They are the cutest pair and in October they will be having their 1 year anniversary together. You’ve never seen Alex happier and you’re beyond thankful he’s found his girl.

It’s sickening how much they adore each other, it really makes sense why no one can stand being around you and Matty for too long because you’ve been told that you and Matty are apparently worse. But you absolutely love the couple with all of your heart and you can see them having a very bright future together.

In some iconic news, which simultaneously wrecked your soul, George got himself a girlfriend. Who is the most iconic pop artist on the planet, Miss Charli XCX.

The pair started fucking each other during the time that No Rome, The 1975, and Charli were working on the song Spinning together. The thought of the pair being fuck buddies had you having a bisexual meltdown as that is a sandwhich you wish you could be in the middle of.

At first, you and Matty knew it was the convenience of another lockdown coming along where you were once again in and out of a live-in studio that brought George and Charli together. Boredom in a lockdown and having someone to fuck really worked well, especially for the new power couple.

After the single came out in March, the pair didn’t really have an excuse to keep on fucking, but it was clear to everyone that they really fancied each other. Just as clear as it was to Matty that you fancied both George and Charli a little too much, but they are pretty iconic so your boyfriend let that one slide a bit.

The couple became official just a week ago and you really see it going the distance. They are both into the same music, they both like creating new music to pass the time, they probably fuck each others lights out the best anyone ever has, so you weren’t at all surprised when George made things official.

As he should. He’s probably the luckiest bastard alive. You don’t know who you are more jealous of though, George or Charli.

And you’ve all made it through this pandemic which is a complete blessing. And the first people who come to see you after the lockdown finishes is your cousin and his girlfriend.

They got here a few hours ago and you almost thought that they came a day early before Matty’s birthday party. It’s your boyfriend’s birthday tomorrow and you’re having a small gathering for him, per his request, but it will just be a few people coming round to get drunk.

Today Adam brought his and Carly’s dog Stevie round with them so Mayhem could have a friend to play with. And watching the two gods has been quite amusing as all four of you ended up ordering a take out so you could eat together.

It’s been a really lovely afternoon with them, and you love Carly like she’s your sister so it is no hardship at all for you to get on with her the same way you do with Adam. And Matty has an easy time of keeping you all entertained so you’ve had a really nice day.

As you sit down with another brew for you and her, you ask, “Was lockdown okay for you both? Not get too bored?”

“No, it was okay thankfully,” Carly smiles, and asks, “What about you?”

“Can’t exactly get bored with Matty.” You nod your head towards him and laugh, “The hyper activity really kept us active and it’s always fun with a puppy.”

“I can’t believe how big he is now.” Carly says as the both of you look down to Mayhem who is lying down beside Stevie.

You hum, smiling, “Me neither.”

Mayhem is a big boy now. He’s not the tiny puppy you started out with, which is a little gutting but it’s not like you didn’t know it would happen. You just miss being able to cuddle him with him sat fully on your lap as now he’s far too big.

“Are you sure he’s a Cane Corso?” Adam chips into your conversation, all of you now looking at your dog, “He still looks like he could be a labrador.”

“Just you wait,” You joke, “He’ll be bigger than Matty this time next year.”

“And subsequently you, Wheels.” Your boyfriend teases you, which you do kind of deserve.

“I know,” You chuckle, “But I just want him to be my little baby for a bit longer. I love mothering him.”

“Mother who? Mayhem or Matty?” Carly jokes and it has everyone but Matty giggling.

All of you chat about everything and nothing. Matty telling your cousin about a few ideas he’s had for future music but nothing concrete just yet. But once Adam joins yours and Carly’s conversation, Matty gets thinking and he knows your cousin well, he never usually just comes round to chill out, and he looks like he has a little nervous energy about him, so your curly haired brunette decides to investigate.

Once the conversation finishes, Matty asks the couple, “What’s brought you two over anyway? Hann never just wants to pop round to see me.”

You find yourself laughing at that, still loving how their brotherly love is shown in the way of lightly bullying each other. You offer up a reason, “He might have wanted to see me.”

“Don't be silly Sweetheart,” Matty shakes his head, and then he leans his chin on Adam’s shoulder to ask him, “Do you have an early birthday present for me? Is it a kiss Hann, because I’ve not had one in a while.”

“No,” Your cousin shakes his head firmly, and he jokes, “You would only be so lucky.”

You and Matty watch then as the couple glance and smile at each other and you know something is about to be said before Adam even says, “We actually have some news.”

“Oh?” You smile and raise your eyebrows.

You glance at Matty and share a smile at him because you’ve both debated this time and time again and the both of you think you know what you’re about to be told.

“Has he finally proposed to you Carls?” Matty asks, wanting to get the scoop straight away. And he bullies your cousin a little more in the process, “I think you’ve been waiting long enough for now. I hope he’s done it.”

“Not yet,” Carly laughs, “You’re very cheeky Matty.”

Your boyfriend giggles at that and then throws his arm around Adam’s shoulder as he proudly says, “Bane of your fiance's life.”

“Not my fiance yet,” Carly giggles herself before she looks between you and Matty as she tells you, “We actually came to tell you that we’re having a baby.”

Both yours and Matty’s gasp at the same time, “What?”

“We’re having a baby.” Adam repeats, the couple now grinning at both of your reactions.

They have never seen either of you more shocked. But it’s no surprise to either of them when the both of you immediately get emotional about it.

“Oh my god,” Matty has tears in his eyes when he says, “Why didn’t you tell me to shut my gob?”

Adam just laughs at him, “We tried.”

“Not hard enough.” Matty pulls your cousin into the biggest hug he’s ever given him then and he doesn’t hold back his tears.

On the other settee, you’re the same with Carly. Happy tears are running down your face that you keep on wiping away so they don’t land on her shoulder.

You tell her how much you love her and how happy for her you are. It’s actually difficult to get everything you want to say out because if there’s anyone in the world that deserves a happy little family of their own it is Adam.

After a few minutes, you stand up to hug your cousin and you throw your arms around him, still crying yourself, and tell him, “I’m so happy for you Ads.”

“Thank you B.” Adam hugs you back just as tight.

He had been so excited to tell you. It really was a struggle for him to not come and tell you straight away but instead he had to hold off and tell both his and Carly’s parents first.

“You’re going to be the best Dad.” You tell him when you manage to stop yourself crying for a brief second, but you’re still clutching him tightly.

It makes Adam a little teary eyed hearing you say that, and he whispers a small, “Thank you.” into your ear.

When you eventually let your cousin go, you see that Matty has his arm around Carly, hugging her by his side and they were just standing watching you. Seeing their smiles just makes you cry more, but at the same time you laugh because it feels a bit pathetic even though you know it’s not.

They all laugh at you and you don’t know who, but you can only assume it’s Matty that makes the other two give you a group hug. All you know is that the next second, your face is in Matty’s chest and Carly and Adam are on either side of you hugging you, all of you laughing.

“We also needed to see if Auntie Y/N/N and Uncle Matty would be around to be cool babysitters for us?” Carly says, which is the best thing you’ve possibly ever heard, but you’re too emotional right now.

“Stop, I'll cry more!” You squeal as you wipe your tears on Matty’s top and you bite your tongue to not cry more when he kisses the top of your head.  

“Course we will,” Matty promises, and then he kisses Adam’s cheek, “Hann,” and Carly’s head, “Carls,” and when they look at him, you can hear the emotion in his voice when he says, “We’re so happy for the both of you.”

And later you will remind yourself to give your boyfriend a thank you kiss for getting the words out for you.

After you think you’ve got through the initial emotional reaction to it, and you think the waterworks have stopped for the day. And for a while, you’re right.

You find out that Carly is 12 weeks and they have already told their parents, and they are about to go and tell the other two boys tonight. And they asked Matty if it would be okay to tell the others who were coming round tomorrow and of course he said that it was fine.

Before you know it, it’s time for them to go and tell George and Ross before it gets too late, so the couple head out. But not before they make you emotional again after you’ve hugged Adam goodbye you then watch you boyfriend hug Carly, and you hear her say, “Happy early birthday present, Uncle Matty.”

“Stop it,” Matty says, getting teary eyed again which subsequently has you then same. Matty tells her, “I'm actually going to sob and I will for days.”

You all chuckle at that, and you wipe away another fallen tear from your cheek as you listen to your cousin’s girlfriend.

“Well that's why we came to tell you today. I don’t want you crying on your birthday,” Carly chuckles, “Not to mention we had to come and tell you before you asked me why I wouldn’t drink with you tomorrow.”

“Very clever.” Matty pulls her into another hug, and he kisses her temple.

Once he has let go of Carly, you walk out to the small courtyard at the front of the house with Carly and you help her get Stevie on her lead before you say your goodbye to her there. And whilst you’re there you have no idea that the boys are watching you from the front door after they hug each other.

Matty just told your cousin, “Baby Hann is going to be spoiled rotten and you can’t tell me off for it.”

And when Adam laughs, nodding approvingly, Matty then watches the way your cousin looks at Carly. His whole face lights up seeing her, and the love he has for her is clear to see.

“Adam,” Matty gets his attention back, and your boyfriend pleads with everything he has, “Put a ring on that woman, for christ sake.”

Because he can see just how much Carly means to him. And the pair have chatted before, Matty knows he wants to marry her, so it’s really beyond him why he would wait to get engaged to her even now when they are having a baby together. He just wants your cousin, his best friend, to have the happiest of endings because he deserves every ounce of happiness.

Your cousin just smirks and fires back ,“I could say the exact same to you.” which shocks Matty entirely.

He really wasn’t expecting that. So after a brief second to process what that means, Matty asks, “You’d let me?”

“Course I would.” Adam nods, looking your boyfriend in his eyes when he says, “If you’re waiting for a blessing Matty, you got that a long time ago. You love her more than anyone ever has.”

Glancing back at you and Carly hugging each other has Adam smiling. You and Matty certainly deserve to be as happy as he is feeling right now. So he looks back at your boyfriend and tells him, “You better ask her before she asks you at this point.”

Matty wants to chuckle at that, because it really would be a move that you would pull. But he’s still a little shocked Adam just told him that he would let you marry him, so your boyfriend just ends up nodding, “I’ll get on that.”

And it’s not like he didn’t already have plans to, he just hadn’t worked up the courage to actually ask Adam for his blessing yet.

“You better had.” Adam tells him, before giving him an ultimatum, “Before the year is up or I revoke the blessing.”

Matty frowns a little, “You can’t revoke it when you’ve just given it me.”

Adam just laughs then and Matty all but launches himself into your cousin's arms again. Your curly haired brunette’s voice is full of adoration when he says, “I love you Hann.”

“I love you too, Matty.” Adam smiles, before kissing his best friend's head.  

~*~*~*~ 23rd June 2021 ~*~*~*~

You’re currently back over in Sheffield staying with your best friend and Charlie for a few days with Matty and Mayhem, per Y/B/F’s request. She’s throwing you a small party of sorts for your 35th birthday in a couple of days and you were having a really nice time just catching up with her in your old home.

The both of you have been early risers for a very long time and with Charlie on a 3pm till 3am last night, he was still asleep in bed, and considering Matty never sleeps well, you’ve let him sleep in too. After all, who really wants to be up on a Wednesday morning at 8am if they don’t have to be?

You and your best friend have just had breakfast together and now you’re sitting on the settee beside each other after having just taken Mayhem outside for a quick walk around the block. You just assume that your dog will himself down underneath the window on the floor like he usually does when you’re back home, and he will more than likely fall asleep again soon, but this time you’re wrong.

Instead, Mayhem gets himself up on the settee between you and he spins himself round twice before he lies down, curling himself up into a tight little ball whilst you and Y/B/F smile and stroke him. Your not so little puppy lifts his head after a moment though and he rests it down on your stomach as you are leaning back into your seat.

You smile at that and scratch the top of Mayhem’s head how you know he likes, and you continue doing so until your best friend startles you by saying, “That’s usually a sign that you’re pregnant when dogs do that, you know?”

Of course you’ve heard that myth before, but you’ve never had your own dog to pay attention to like that. You just shake the comment off and say, “Don’t say that.”

“It’s true.” Y/B/F tells you with a ghost of a smile on her lips. She does like teasing you, she misses doing it in person.

“He’s just my affectionate little man.” You tell her, and continue to pet Mayhem. And you defend his actions, “He’s done this before.”

“They bark and become more protective over you too,” Y/B/F tells you more of the folklore, and she raises her eyebrows at you as she points out, “And you said yesterday when we took him on our walk that it was strange of him to be growling and barking as much as he was doing when a few people were walking past us whilst we were sat down.”

A few beats of silence pass the both of you by before your best friend delivers her closing argument, “He could be trying to tell you something.”

“For fucks sake.” You sigh after a minute of glaring at her and getting all pouty about it, “I’m not going to rest now until I take a test.”

You and Matty weren’t exactly being careful, but you’re on the pill. But you’re also very aware that sometimes people can get pregnant whilst being on the pill so you know that for peace of mind you’re just going to have to take a test. You really wish she hadn’t brought it up.

“Oh relax, you and Matty could handle it.” Y/B/F tells you, “I already know you’d be great parents and I’m sure Mayhem would agree.”

You smile at the way she pats Mayhem then and the way he huffs in reaction to her. And thinking about it logically, you know that you and Matty would be fine if you did have a baby, but there are a few things you ideally would have liked to do before that happened. However, at the same time, it really wouldn’t be the end of the world.

“Come on,” Y/B/F brings you out of your thoughts and she gets up and offers you her hand to help you up. She tells you, “I have pregnancy tests in the bathroom. I’ll do one with you like I used to make you do with me so you don’t get stressed out.”

You chuckle, loving how she could always make something serious easier to deal with. You nod and take her hand, “Okay.”

So that is how you and Y/B/F are currently in the bathroom, Y/B/F now sitting on the toilet seat lid, you standing up by the sink, waiting eagerly for the results of the two pregnancy tests that are resting on the side of the bath and for the two minutes to be up.

You just nipped back out to the lounge to grab your tea because the nerves that you get everytime this happens makes your mouth dry. But that is your undoing.

You weren’t panicked about it at all, it just seems like your body's reaction when you do take one. After all this was only a conspiracy about dogs knowing if someone is pregnant or not and you’re debunking it.

But you’re an idiot who didn’t shut the door properly when you came back into the bathroom. Because Mayhem has just snuck his way in and his excited tail wagging back and forth has just knocked both of the pregnancy tests into the empty bath, muddling them up so you don’t know who’s is who’s… And one of them is positive.

Both you and Y/B/F swear at the same time, before forming a very quick and calculated plan, neither of you panicking about it though. You just need to know which one of you is pregnant sooner rather than later.

You quietly put Mayhem back into the bedroom with Matty before both you and Y/B/F head out to the closest supermarket to get decent tests. Both of you buy a box of the Clear Blue tests so you can be certain and make sure whoevers positive is actually positive, and when you come back the both of you do your tests again but keep them on either side of the sink.

As you wait, you hold each other's hand and Y/B/F jokes, “Remember when we always used to say that the both of us would end up being together when we found out one of us was pregnant?”

“Yeah,” You nod, thinking back to all the times you’d forced each other into doing one and they had thankfully all came out negative when you were younger.

“Least we’re actual adults and capable now.” Y/B/F chuckles and you giggle in agreement.

It feels like the longest few minutes of your lives, and when you check the timer on your phone you still have another minute left. It feels like an age passes and when the alarm goes off it almost makes you jump.

You and your best friend keep your eyes on each other for a moment, and you squeeze each other's hand when she asks, “Ready?”

“Ready.” You nod, knowing whatever the outcome, you’re both going to be fine. You tell her quickly, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Y/B/F smiles back and after giving each other a nod of encouragement, the both of you check your tests.

When you look down at your test, you find yourself surprised when you see it only has one line… Negative.

It shocks you as the lore about the dogs knowing had really gotten into your head, but then Y/B/F squeezes your hand and you look at hers… Pregnant 3+

“Are you okay?” You immediately ask her.

She looks at you then, nodding a little, but her eyes flick back to the test clearly a little in disbelief, “Yeah, just a bit shocked.”

And of course she was going to be. You bet she never for a second thought she would randomly be doing a pregnancy test today, let alone for it to come back positive.

You sit her back down on the closed toilet seat so she can process it as best she can as you crouch down in front of her and hold her hand. After a few seconds, she asks you to pass her her phone that she put on the sink too and you grab it instantly and give it to her.

After about 20 seconds of scrolling and tapping, your best friend lets out a little sigh and she looks a little jaw dropped. You’re about to ask her what’s going on until she starts speaking.

“I’ve just checked my tracker, and I didn’t come on last month.” She tells you and she runs a hand through her hair as she looks you in the eyes and scorns herself, “Oh my god, I’m such an idiot for making you worry. I’m so sorry.”

“I wasn’t worried, don’t apologise.” You dismiss her apologies as you would have been fine if it was you, it was something you could handle and you have no doubt if she wants this baby, she will be able to handle it too.

You ask her softly when she locks her phone, “Are you happy? You look shocked, rightly so.”

“Yeah, I’m happy.” She tells you after a brief second of silence. And her eyes get all sparkly when she half grins, “I’m going to be a Mum.”

“You’re going to be the best Mum in the whole world.” You nod, your eyes doing the same as you can see just how much this means to her now she’s processing the news.

Y/B/F is crying when she pulls you into a hug, and she says into your ear, “I love you.”

“I love you so much more.” You promise her.

You’re both crying for a minute, but in this scenario that isn’t a shock. This was a massive surprise, and you’re still a little in disbelief it’s not yourself this has happened to.

Y/B/F releases you briefly from the hug to pull back and ask you seriously, “In the unlikely event that this ever happens to either of us and our boyfriends actually don’t want the baby, can we promise to run away with each other and raise them ourselves?”

You want to sob for her that she would ever think that Charlie wouldn’t want their little baby, because you know for a fact that he will be over the moon when he finds out soon. But you understand that she wants reassurance, and you don’t hesitate to give it to her.

You nod, “You have my word.” and you offer her a pinky swear which she returns instantly.

“Thank you.” Y/B/F sniffles, and she wipes her tears as she says, “I know Charlie is going to be thrilled, but I just needed to hear that.”

“Of course.” You chuckle before telling her that you love her again and she does the same to you.

It’s a fun little cycle that eventually calms the both of you down, and stops you both crying. But that isn’t to say that your emotions can’t be seen on your now puffy features when you leave the bathroom, and it seems like you’re really obvious.  

When you unlock the bathroom door and the both of you emerge from it, you give your best friend another hug outside the door and wish her luck as she’s about to go and wake Charlie up to tell him. But before you even let each other go, the door to the other side of you opens and Mayhem quickly trots out, paying neither of you attention, but your boyfriend clearly does.

Seeing the both of you standing there and hugging each other makes him a little worried, especially when he sees that your eyes are a little swollen. He looks at you first and asks, “Everything okay?”

“Yeah everythings good.” You promise him and nod as you let go of your best friend.

Matty looks at her then though and asks, “Y/B/F?”

“Yeah I’m really good. I’m gunna quickly…” She trails off and points to hers and Charlie’s room and you nod understanding.

She smiles at you again and with one last squeeze on each of your arms, she disappears into her bedroom, and you’re left with Matty.

“Are you okay?” Your boyfriend asks again as you immediately make the short way towards him and you from your arms around him, trapping him in a big hug.

“Yeah,” You nod, hiding yourself in his neck. You make sure he can hear you when you ask a little rhetorically, “I love you, you know?”

Your curly haired brunette nods and promises, “I love you too.”

He has to ask again though, “Is Y/B/F okay?”

“Yeah,” You’re smiling like a fool as you pull back from the hug and tell him, “She’s just found out she’s making us be an Aunt and Uncle again, so she’s a tad emotional.”

And your cute way of telling Matty that your best friend is pregnant immediately has his eyes watering, just like they did when Adam told you both the news.

Matty very quickly kisses your lips, before he hugs you tightly and suggests, “I think we keep getting the best early birthday presents, don't you?”

“The very best.” You hum in agreement.

~*~*~*~

After waking Charlie up and telling him, the pair were obviously really emotional as expected. Whilst he was of course happy, his nurse mode turned on almost immediately and for peace of mind because they didn’t know, Charlie called one of his friends who was at work today and asked if there was any chance they could squeeze Y/B/F in for a quick scan.

She’d been drinking over the last few months as she clearly didn’t know she was pregnant, and of course they wanted the peace of mind that everything was fine. Thankfully Charlie’s friend managed to get them in and whilst they have gone for their appointment, you and Matty have gone out on a walk with Mayhem.

Your curly haired brunette used to love it when you’d take him on walks around Sheffield when you were first together, and he still adores it now. Matty finds that it's your anecdotes that he loves and he adores the way your face lights up as you tell them.

He knows he’s been to this park you’re both currently in before, as you’d shown him the old tennis courts that you and your school mates always used to hang about on, but you seem to have a destination in mind about where you’re taking him and Mayhem now, but Matty can’t guess where.

“Where are we going?” Matty asks as you start to veer off the path in front of you.

Smiling, you squeeze his arm that you’ve linked and tell him, “I know a place.”

“Do you now?” Matty smiles, and seeing that there’s a small sparkle in your eye has you excited, it makes him feel the same.

“Yep,” You grin, “It’s one of my favourite places on the planet.”

Matty’s eyes go a little wide then, asking, “Really?”

Humming and nodding, you confirm, “You should feel very privileged that I'm bringing you here. You’ll be one of three people who knows about it besides me.”

Matty smiles at that, and he doesn’t have to guess to know that you mean Y/B/F and Alex. He smiles at the thought of you finally being ready to show him whatever place it is too.

Matty hums, “It must be special.”

“It is.” You nod, and you tell him honestly. “I came here the most when you were in rehab… Needed somewhere to go to remember your face.”

Because you came every day, if not every other when Matty was in rehab. You needed the comfort your spot gave you and you it really helped when he was away. You’re glad that you’ve made the decision to finally show him your secret place.

You love and appreciate the way your curly haired brunette kisses your temple then as you walk him towards the trees. It doesn’t take you long to find your cherry blossom tree, and Mayhem finds it before you even get to open the curtain of pink petals for him.

You do move them aside for Matty though and you watch his reaction eagerly. You forgot the magic of showing this place to someone new.

The way your boyfriend’s eyes light up when he steps into your pink cocoon that shields you from the rest of the world makes you really happy. His smile also makes your chest ache as he looks astounded at the place, and it gets even bigger when he looks out to see the view you get too.

“Wow.” Matty gasps as he looks back around at the tree, “It’s stunning.”

You’re just grinning at him, taking him in your space and loving his reaction. But you adore the man even more when his eyes go a little wide as the pieces come together, “So this is why you went for a cherry blossom branch when you got your tattoo?” and when you nod, he grins, “It makes so much sense now.”

“Yep.” You verbally confirm, “Makes me feel at home. The tattoos remind me of home.”

Matty grins and he grabs your hand and pulls you towards him, and he looks into your eyes as he holds your waist and tells you, “I feel like I’ve just found the final piece of your puzzle, Wheels.”

You absolutely love that he has put it like that, as in really it is. This hiding spot of yours is the only thing Matty doesn’t know about you, and now you’re an entirely open book to him. It feels exactly how he put it, you’re a completed puzzle now.

As you have a hold of your boyfriend's hand, you pull him around and onto your bench so you can sit and admire the view. And as you’re tying the end of Mayhem’s lead to the bench, Matty asks, “How often did you usually come here?”

“I usually ended up coming most when I was sad, but also on good days too.” You tell him honestly, “But I only come when the tree blossoms, it’s a bit bleak if not.”

“It’s so stunning.” Matty says, turning back around to look at the pink bubble the both of you are in. Your dog takes both of your attention though because he comes and sits by both yours and Matty’s feet and gives you his puppy dog eyes. Your boyfriend plays with him a second as he asks him, “Isn’t it Mayhem? Your Mum’s hiding place is so pretty, just like her. She shouldn’t be upset when she comes here.”

You smile at his playfulness, but you assure him, “I love to come here when I’m happy too, it just brightens my day even more and this is definitely a day for it.”

“It certainly is.” Matty agrees.

Because coming to your spot to reflect on the fact that your best friend is going to have a baby is definitely a good day for it. Especially after the chaotic morning you had, which made Matty laugh earlier when you explained everything to him.

The both of you talk about how it was certainly a chaotic way to find out, and how you both hope everything is okay with their baby. And you laugh over how it was funny that Mayhem got it wrong and how he must have just been more protective over Y/B/F yesterday which led to him barking a little more.

When the conversation leads into a comfortable silence, Matty’s thoughts of this gorgeous spot get away with him, and he asks, “Have you ever kissed someone here?”

You chuckle at that, and all you do is glance at him and warn him, “Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answers to.”

That is all the answer Matty needs, and he finds it amusing so he jokes, “Christ, Alex was a lucky boy.”

You chuckle at him clearly knowing who it was, but you do make sure he knows something for certain, “He wasn’t lucky like you’re thinking. My spot is not R rated.”

“Not yet.” Matty smirks, desperately trying to hold back his laugh.

You just hum, “Dirty boy.” before you playfully push his arm from the back of the bench.  

Your boyfriend laughs, before he shuffles closer to you and throws his arm over your shoulder to hug you into him more. You hum, entirely content with your surroundings and who you’re with. You’re so happy you showed Matty this place.

“Wanna be the last person I kiss here?” You ask him after a silent moment, “Because I won’t be bringing anyone new or kissing anyone else here.”

Matty is grinning at you, so you know his answer before he even says, “I would quite like that.”

“Course you would.” You giggle before you attach your lips to his.

You kiss him like you’ve wanted to kiss him all morning. Entirely too overwhelmed with your emotions and you pour all your love for him into it.

It baffles you how Matty’s kisses still give you butterflies all these years later, but he really does. You’re absolutely enamoured by him and what makes it all the more sweeter is that you know he feels the exact same about you.

When you get all soppy like this, you just want to carry on kissing him for hours on end to try and show him just how much he means to you. And you’re certain that by now Matty understands this form of communication with you, if it’s not his preferred one himself.

Both of you get a little too into it, because that really is what the two of you are like. Neither of you know when to stop, but you eventually do when Mayhem starts getting a bit jealous of the attention you’re giving each other and he tries to jump up at both of you.

“You sure you don’t wanna make it R rated?” Matty giggles after you teasingly bite his lip when you pull away.

You hum and pretend to think about it for a second, but you shake your head, “Not today... Maybe when we leave him at home.”

Matty chuckles before the both of you look down at your dog, and your curly haired brunette jokes to your dog, “You ruining moments like this is why you get left in the lounge when we go to the bedroom, Mayhem. You’re a massive cockblock.” and that has you cackling loudly.

The both of you end up settling down and you peacefully watch the world go by. A peaceful hour goes by before your phone buzzes and you hear from your best friend with the best news.

Wifey: Everything’s fine. Baby’s fine. I’m fine. I’m 10 weeks xx

Wifey: Please bring ice cream back on the way home from the park please x love you xxx

You obviously grin at your phone like an idiot and you text her back congratulating her again and you tell her you love her too. You’re so beyond thrilled for her, you can’t wait to give her another massive hug when you get back to the flat.

You and Matty gather all your belongings and when you untie Mayhem’s lead, you ask your boyfriend, “You ready to go?”

“Yeah.” Matty nods, and before you stand up he leans in to quickly kiss you sweetly. And he makes your heart flutter again when he sincerely says, “Thank you for bringing me here, Sweetheart.”

You’re grinning like a fool in love, “Anytime Curly.”

~*~*~*~ December 10th 2021 ~*~*~*~

“Hey,” You walk into your home and are greeted by the sight of Matty sitting in the lounge with Mayhem now getting out of his bed to come and greet you.

“Hey Wheels,” Matty grins and comes over to give you a hug and a kiss after you finish saying hello to your dog. “You had a nice day?”

“I have, thank you,” You smile, kissing him one more time before throwing your arms around his neck and asking him curiously, “You’re not busy this evening, are you?”

“No?” Your boyfriend answers but you can see the curiosity in his eyes. He tells you, “I was just going to start making our tea, but nothing else.”

“Good, and you don’t need to make tea,” You grin, the plan that you made on your way home seems like it could fall perfectly into place. “I’ve decided we’re going on a date night.”

Matty’s whole face lights up, “Are we now?” and he holds your waist a little tighter as the both of you start swaying a little bit in each other's hold.

“Yeah,” You nod, and you tell him your plan, “I’ve phoned your Mum and she said she’ll look after Mayhem for us whilst we're out, so he’s not on his own all evening. She’s going to have him overnight.”

“Oh nice,” Matty grins, as not having the little cockblocker around when the both of you get back would be nice. It gives the both of you a little more freedom, but your curly haired brunette is mostly just excited to get to spend his evening by your side. He’s missed you with you being at the studio for most of the afternoon.

He can’t help but ask curiously, “Where are we going?”

“I’m going to quite literally make one of your dreams come true.” You’re grinning like a lunatic at him, your cheeks hurt because your smile is so big.

Matty raises his eyebrows, “Oh?” trying to think of what it could be.

You tell him, “We’re going to Winter Wonderland.”

“Oh my god, yes.” Matty’s jaw drops in glee.

“I know it’ll be shit, but it’ll be good night.” You tell him why you thought of it, “I saw a poster on the way home and I thought it would be really cute.”

“It’s going to be the best Wheels because it's us.” Matty assures you, and you believe him because you can feel him start buzzing with excitement in your arms. He grabs your hand and pulls you towards the stairs, “Let's go get ready.”

Denise came about 30 minutes after you told Matty about your plans for your date night and she was happy to look after Mayhem for the both of you. As soon as Denise took him back to hers, you and Matty were also getting in the car to drive yourselves to Hyde Park.

When you get there, instantly you both can’t get the smiles off your faces. The both of you end up going ice skating first of all, and you’re glad the both of you went a fair amount when you were younger because you weren’t really at risk of falling over.

Skateboarding over the years had given the both of you good balance too, so you both thankfully didn’t deck it on the frozen ground. After an hour of the both of you clinging to each other on the ice, the both of you decide to walk round the large fair.

Obviously, the both of you go on the rides that skater the park, the ones that allow adults on anyways. The both of you end up on the Waltzers and other shit fairground rides but the both of you couldn’t get enough of giggling with each other at it.

You pulled each other to random stalls that sold all different kinds of food and the both of you had a feast as you then went and wondered about the Christmas markets. You got Mayhem a few bits from a pet stall, you got all three of you a personalised wooden decoration for your tree to put on when you get back home.

You also ended up getting a few more presents for your friends whilst you were here too. All of these gifts had to be put in a locker when both you and Matty ended up going into a haunted house. It was like a ghost train that was shit but hidden inside was someone dressed up as a skeleton and they jumped out and scared Matty to the point where he hid into you.

It almost made you piss yourself laughing and you couldn’t take the rest of the ride seriously. And that was due to the fact Matty was hiding himself into you trying to calm his heart rate down after that jumpscare.

Thankfully, there were no more scary points in the night. The next thing you ended up doing was going into the fun house which was just next door and you and Matty were grinning like idiots when he whisper sang You’re The One That I Want into your ear.

It brought you right back to being 21 again and experiencing a fun house with him for the first time. You were still just as flirty with each other and it feels even more wholesome than it did back then as you’re entirely in love with each other now, and Matty didn’t fail to remind you as you made your way around.

Both of you made it through the revolving barrel without falling over either and you definitely made your younger selves proud. You got so many cute pictures with each other over the course of the evening, you already couldn’t wait to eventually get them printed out and put up in your home.

But thankfully you were able to get some straight away this evening.

The both of you had just come out of Bar Ice which was really cool because you were served your drinks in cups made from pure ice. The both of you had two drinks in there and you’ve just come back outside to start exploring again and Matty finds something instantly.

The way Matty drags you over to the photobooth that he spotted is probably the fastest he’s ever moved which has you giggling. Not to mention the way he can’t seem to get his card out fast enough to pay for the photos, which has you silently laughing as it's such a stark contrast to the first time you pulled him into one of these.

The first picture taken is the both of you giggling at the camera. The second, Matty cups your jaw as he presses a kiss to your cheek. The third you’re holding his face as you plant a big kiss on his cheek. And for the forth, the both of you are kissing each other and the kiss lasts so much longer than it takes for the picture to be printed.

Because you’re entirely obsessed with each other, you end up getting another 3 strips of pictures as there was thankfully no queue. They are wholesome and sweet and it’s just candids of the two of you interacting and being silly with each other. Some you pose for, others you miss because you’re laughing at what the other just did.

The both of you almost don’t want to leave the booth, but you do to collect your pictures. And after you admire them, there’s only one thing left to do.

You were well aware of the 70 metre high ferris wheel being the main attraction of Winter Wonderland, and you could see the fear in Matty’s eyes as soon as he saw it up close when you were paying your entrance fees. It was always silently agreed that this would be the last event of the evening, and now with nothing left to do, both you and your boyfriend join the back of the queue for the giant wheel.

You can feel Matty’s nerves already and as he looks up at the 70 metre monster, he shakily says, “That’s the biggest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Are we going on it?” You ask as you try to mute your amused smile, “We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

And you truly mean it. You won’t make him go on it if he really doesn't want to because it looks horrendously high to you, and you don’t have a fear of heights.

Matty glances at you, and then back to the top of the wheel that is all light up. He takes a deep breath looking at the highest point of it, but he just looks back into your eyes and asks wholesomely, “Will you hold my hand?

Smiling, you promise him, “Of course I will.” and you offer him your hand now.

“I guess I’ve got no excuse then.” Matty makes his decision as he takes your hand and immediately intertwines your fingers together.

Immediately you lift your hands up and kiss the back of his. And when your curly haired brunette looks at you, you tell him, “I’ll keep you safe.”

“Thank you, Wheels.” Matty smiles before he leans towards you to kiss you quickly.

It’s an anxious 20 minute wait in the queue before the both of you get into your own little cabin and the wheel starts moving. It’s a slow incline as everyone is getting on and off so it frequently stops to give you more time on and more of the stunning views.

Matty’s hand is firmly gripping yours, your fingers intertwined and he’s not letting you go at all, which you don’t mind about. You still find him utterly adorable that he will face one of his biggest fears to see you happy.

You can’t help but joke about it, “You must be so down bad for me if you have one of these tattooed on you, but they scare you as much as they clearly do.”

Matty chuckles a little at that, trying to rid his anxiety and just focus on you instead of the ground getting further and further away from you both. Matty’s brown eyes are looking into your gorgeous ones when he confirms, “I’ve always been down bad for you, that’s never going to change.”

You cheeks get hotter hearing that like he’s just told you he fancies you for the first ever time. And you can’t help but find it funny how he makes your heart beat rapidly in your chest when he’s doing nothing but be his gorgeous self.

The feeling of Matty’s gaze on you as you take in the views around you makes you warm inside. And once you’re near the top of the wheel, you give his hand another reassuring squeeze and you kiss him to keep him distracted.

You’ve just had a silent minute, other than you pointing views out to him that you don’t know if he’ll actually look at because you’re so high off the ground. He surprises you though by getting up from his seat just before the both of you reach the top.

He stands you up with him and he makes you take a selfie of the both of you at the top with the incredible view of the city lights below you. And you tease him by calling him your brave boy for somehow managing to not look petrified in the picture.

Your boyfriend shuts you up with a kiss though, which you happily let him do and after you put your phone back in your pocket, you give him your full attention. The sweet kiss only breaks when Matty speaks up.

“Do you remember me telling you that the first place I knew I was in love with you was when we were on that ferris wheel?” Your curly haired brunette asks softly.

You nod, remembering that night in lockdown vividly. That knowledge made you love your ferris wheel tattoo that the both of you have on your ankles even more than you already did.

“I expected that over a decade later I would still love you, but I didn’t know I would love you so much more at the top of this one, Wheels.” Matty professes his love for you again and it makes your heart swell with all the love you have for him.

But then the man you love drops to one knee in front of you, surprising you entirely.

Your curly haired brunette is grinning up at you when he asks, “Wheels, Sweetheart, please marry me?” and he pulls an engagement ring in a box out of his pocket and offers it to you.

“Yes,” You find yourself half giggling in surprise as you answer him. You nod, “Of course I’ll marry you.”

And Matty jumps back up so his lips can find yours again before you can fully process the moment. But you pour your heart out into it regardless.

You hope to every God that Matty can tell just how much you love him by pouring your feelings into this kiss. Words never seem like enough but kissing him in this moment feels like you’re connected on an entirely different level.

The way your chest aches for him, the way your heart beats for him, every ounce of love you have for him you hope he can feel. Because you can feel just how much he loves you, and his excitement because he picks you up and spins the both of you around which has you giggling again.

Matty puts you down after a few seconds, and the first thing he does is get the ring out of the box and put it on your left ring finger. It’s a stunning ring, and it's what you always imagined him giving to you one day. He got it spot on and from the look on his face, he knows he has.

You look back up at your fiance and you let out something of a giggle as your eyes tear up a little. Matty’s are the same, the both of you so unbelievably happy in this moment that you don’t have the words to explain it.

“I want to marry you as soon as possible, okay?” Matty chuckles, his voice a little choked up as he reminds you, “I’ve been waiting long enough, I can’t wait any longer.”

You giggle and nod, agreeing with him entirely. And your fingers root up into his curls as you look into his eyes and make sure he knows, “I love you so much, Curly.”

“I love you so so so much more, Wheels.” Matty grins before he cups your cheeks and leans back down to kiss you sweetly.

He always has and he always will, because from the very first moment he ever saw you, he’s been in love with you. Everything feels better when the two of you are together.

You’re his Sweetheart, his Wheels, and he will be your Curly until the very end.  

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: Thank you so so much to everyone who has stuck with me as I’ve been writing this fic. It really means a lot and I really hope you enjoyed the story and Wheels and Matty’s ending! Their story doesn’t really stop here… I mentioned a surprise that you’d all shout at me about and the surprise is that a small part of Matty and Wheels ending has been posted on my main account since before I ever posted the first part of NRIACC (told you you’d shout at me lol)… That little oneshot Good Boy is a little extra part of their ending that I hope you can read/reread now and enjoy a little more.

Anyway, just want to again say a huge thank you for sticking with my mental story and I really really hope you enjoyed the ending x

Note: Alex and Ella’s story in a different universe can be read now! Constant Repeat by @alovesreading​ is out now and it’s incredible. A doesn’t know I’ve written Ella into this ending so I’m waiting for her to have a breakdown (she will, I know her too well at this point lol) but I really hope you enjoy Ella and Alex’s story as much as you’ve enjoyed reading this! (I love a multiverse and there’s also a different Alex fic of mine hidden in this chapter that will be my next long fic, Nightmare. But I’m having a break for a while but I will be back at some point, I promise x)

Taglist: @psychkunox​​​​​​​ @sofiaaraee​​​​​​​ @thewheeler​​ @cold-hands-cold-eyesss​​​​​​​ @xovalliegirlxo​​​​​​​ @vroboat​​​​​​​ @hoodskillerqueen​​​​​​ @woahhealy​​​​​​​ @emmaheg1005 @belledawnidk​​​​​​​ @elen-alambil​​​​​​​ @megann-duff​​​ @alexsvacuumcleaner​​​​​​​ @bshelley322​​​​​​​ @g0thwat3rr​​​​​​​ @cassieinnit​​​​​​​ @ohmyolympusssywp​​ @filling-thevoid​​​​​​ @xqueenkt​​​​​​​ @indierock4ever @amturners​​​​​​​ @alovesreading​​​​​​​​

[nriacc]

Frail State Of Mind | NRIACC: Part 30 |

Nothing Revealed In A Common Crisis

Plot by @imagine-that-100​ and @ghostlightqueen

Written by @imagine-that-100​

Description: | Here |

Word Count: 23.5k

Warnings: This series contains mature content and themes throughout

A/N: Hello everyoneeeee, can you believe that this is the last chapter before the endings? I can’t quite believe it’s finally here. I found this pretty emotional to write, I think I’ve cried more in the past week writing this than any other chapter, not because it’s depressing but just feeling nostalgic about the fic. I really really hope you all enjoy this chapter. I’m going to write the two endings as fast as I can whilst doing them justice. I can’t wait to share them with you. Thank you so so very much for sticking with me, it means the world. Please enjoy the final chapter x

| Series Masterlist | N’s Masterlist | NRIACC Playlists | The Band’s Info | Read on Wattpad | Read on AO3 |

~*~*~*~ November 27th ~*~*~*~

“Hello?”

Down the phone, you hear Matty’s chipper voice, “Hey Sweetheart.” but you know him well enough to know when he’s slightly out of breath.

So of course, you want to know why, “Hey Curly, why are you out of breath?”

“I’m walking around my estate but that's besides the point.” Matty explains but you can picture him shaking his head before his mind snaps back to what he clearly phoned you about. “Wheels, you know that night that we fucked because I gave you that letter?”

“Fucking hell, Matty,” You can’t help but laugh a little, but you also shake your head, “Tell all your neighbours and the world why don’t you.”

“Please,” You hear him dismiss your worries. “It's not like they don't already know, they heard you scream.”

Dryly laughing, finding him quite comical at how random this conversation is, “Don't think it was quite a scream but go on.”

“Hurt my ears so wasn't far from it, but anyway…” Matty laughs loudly, “The day after when we fucked again in the shower, do you remember our conversation?”

“Matthew,” You rub your temple with a smile on your face. “I’m begging, go inside if you’re going to give out details of where we fucked.”

“Nah, don’t worry. It’s only the guys here with me.” Your curly haired brunette says like it’s all okay. You’re almost laughing before he asks again, “So yeah, do you remember when I fingered you in the shower and then we shagged?”

“Oh my god.” You pause the TV at this point and sink back into your settee, giving your full conversation to the man down the phone.

However, you start giggling when you hear another voice in your ear.

“Matty, fuck off! You’re fucking mingin’! She’s my cousin!” You can hear Adam scorning him in the background. “I don’t want to know about what you were doing in your shower with her.”

“Oh stop getting all touchy.” You can picture Matty’s glare as you hear him give more information than anyone but you and Matty need. “She sucked my dick as well before we fucked in the shower and on the bed.”

You hear a small scrap take place then, probably Adam pushing Matty off the pavement and onto to the road more than likely hoping for some oncoming traffic as he says a muffled, “Fuck off Healy!”

Hearing Matty’s laugh, you’re thankful he’s not dead like Adam’s hoping for. But he’s clearly now standing beside George because you hear your gentle giant through the phone.

“You know,” George begins, clearly saying only loud enough so Matty - and subsequently you - can hear. “I know you’re just saying all this out loud to make me jealous and not because you want to annoy Hann.”

“Oh my god,” You feel blood rush to your cheeks then, and you can’t help but say, “Tell George to come round to mine now.”

“George will be cumming nowhere near you, Sweetheart.” Matty backchats and before you can complain he goes back to your previous conversation, “So Wheels, remember what we were talking about in the shower before you dropped to your knees?”

You almost laugh when you hear your cousin say a loud, “Lalalalalalalalala.” And you’re sure you hear Ross laughing too.

Your cheeks are going hot as the memories flood back but you can’t help but correct him, “If you’re doing a run through Curly, make it accurate. You fingered me first.”

“My apologies Sweetheart.” Matty chuckles a little, but then asks, “But do you remember what we were talking about?”

“Very vaguely. Didn’t we talk about the music videos in the shower?” You can’t help the grin on your lips as you add, “Before you started getting handsy anyway.”

“Hey,” You can picture Matty’s grin as he recalls what happened, “I believe it was you that said something about making the most of you naked in my shower.”

You snort with laughter at that, but even more so when you hear Ross half shout at him, “Matty, stop before both you and George pop a boner.”

You can hear your gentle giants laugh at that, but your curly haired brunette clearly isn’t impressed at that thought. He scorns, “George better not pop a boner at the thought of my ex girlfriend.”

“It just happens, okay?” The drummer half laughs as he jokingly admits.

The thought has you holding your breath as you have to stop yourself from silently screaming. As you hear Matty scorning him, you say more to yourself, “Christ I need to marry him.”

“No, you don’t.” Matty says bluntly right back down the phone which ends up with you whining.  

“Please sing at the wedding.” You beg him.

“No.” He puts it so bluntly back to you it makes you laugh. But before you can counter argue, he takes you back to why he called. “Anyway, back to music videos. You said you didn’t wanna say no to things that made you happy anymore, so I’m not asking you. I’m telling you that you and Y/B/F are going to be in our new music video.”

This makes your whole face light up, but you can’t help but ask in surprise, “Are we now?”

“Yes you are.” Matty confirms and you can already tell that you wouldn’t be getting out of this even if you wanted to. Especially when he continues, “She’s already confirmed with me just a few minutes ago and now you’re going to put the date in your calendar. It’s going to be great.”

You have to ask, “Is the song about me?”

“Course it’s about you. It’s why you have to be in it.” Your curly haired brunette confirming your suspicions just makes you smile. Even more so when he already attempts to stop you from worrying, “Don’t worry though, it’s not just you and Y/B/F. We’ve got fans coming in again for it so it’s mostly about them, but I want you in it even for the briefest of moments.”

“Okay.” You smile, your heart swelling hearing that.

However, the singer clearly expected a different response. Because he sighs before he begins to plead.

“Wheels please. I really want yo-” Clearly Matty only just processes what you say because he stops his argument, “Wait, did you just say okay?”

“Yes Curly.” You’re entirely amused by this now.  

Even more so when Matty sounds a little speechless and hesitates before admitting, “I had a whole argument planned out.”

“Well save it for another day.” You smile, before promising, “I’ll do whatever you want.”

“Whatever I want? Okay then fuck the kids were bringing in.” Matty takes what you’ve said a little too seriously because he decides, “The video is now just me and Wheels doing a sex scene.”

“No.” You hear Adam scorn Matty from the other side of the phone.

But you’re just laughing, shaking your head even though you know he’s joking. You have no problem sighing, “You’re insufferable.” whilst pretending like you don’t have a grin on your face.

“Sweetheart, think of the views!” Matty tries his best to excitedly persuade, “Think of how much money you’ll make us all.”

Not giving him any leverage, you change the subject back to what it was and ask, “When’s the video shoot Matthew?”

“In a fortnight. We’re doing Monday and Tuesday, but we’ll just need you on the Monday.” He quickly adds, “You’re welcome to come and watch on the Tuesday though too if you want. You’re always welcome.”

Smiling, you confirm, “I’ll be there.”

“Amazing. Very excited.” Matty informs you like you can’t already tell by the tone of his voice. You can practically picture his grin. Although, you can also picture him glaring at his friend when he says, “George is a little too excited.”

After this you hear a little scuffle on the other end of the phone that ends after a few seconds with hearing George groan in pain and him saying fuck you to his best mate.  

So you can’t help but ask, already thinking you know what happened, “Please tell me you didn’t punch him in the balls.”

“Okay,” Matty chuckles, and he sounds almost proud of himself when he says, “I won’t tell you.”

You let out a loud laugh at that and you don’t even hesitate to tell him, “I love you idiots.”

“We love you too.”

~*~*~*~ December 9th 2019 ~*~*~*~

The music video shoot has been fucking awesome. Seeing how it all comes together and the different way they shoot is so fascinating. It’s somehow more intricate than the One For The Road video which you never thought would happen considering there were tractors involved in that one.

You’d been watching as Matty and the other boys greeted the fans this morning before everyone set off to work. There were two main ‘relationships’ that the video follows and it was so cute watching as the kids, especially the blonde girl and the brunette that the video was apparently going to begin with, get more and more blushy around each other as the day went on.

The other couples that were all fans seemed to be having a great time being filmed partying and kissing with their favourite band present for it. You find it so nice that your boys want to include their fans in music videos, it must be such an amazing feeling for everyone involved.

You and Y/B/F are sitting down on the floor at the end of a single bed and you’ve been given a fire extinguisher to mess about with. Both of you don’t have any idea why, but you think it adds to the chaos that this house party that they are making.

And after a few minutes of positioning other people around you, the director tells you what he’s after.

“Y/B/F, Y/N are you okay to spray that at each other and just mess around.” The director gives you your antics to be doing, before addressing all of you in this fake room with only two walls, “Completely ignore Matty as he walks behind or around you, you’re too invested in your drunk antics to notice him.”

Everyone gives a confirmation in the form of a nod or a mumbled okay. Well, all except for your best friend.

“He’s very easy to ignore,” She gives the director a thumbs up and a big smile, “Got it.”

That makes you laugh along with the other fans who were in this short scene surrounding you. The other boys behind the camera and the director himself all laugh but then you hear the door open behind you that you all know has Matty on the other side.

Your curly haired brunette sticks his head around the door and points to Y/B/F on the floor and jokingly warns her, “You’re asking for it.”

When she mimics him in a high pitched voice, Matty grabs a teddy from the table beside the door and launches it at her head. Y/B/F, however, being the bad bitch she is, she picks it back up and throws it right back at him. “You’re going to get it.” She tells him, and if Matty didn’t have the door to hide back behind it would have hit him in the head which has you giggling.

Matty reemerges then, and goes to say something but he stops himself and laughs, “I almost said Adam will give it you then.”

Both you and her start laughing then, before Y/B/F checks, “Christ, do you think it’s 2012?”

“Sorry,” Matty almost blushes but he’s still chuckling a bit, “I know you’re both practically married to other people.”

“It’s all good.” Y/B/F dismisses his worries before she threatens, “I’ll just make him hit you later.”

“You’re just upset you can’t do it yourself with prying eyes around us.” Matty says knowingly because in any other circumstance, she would have punched his arm or something to get back at him, but here in a professional setting with others around she doesn’t feel like she can.

“So true.” She nods, chuckling a little.

The scene plays out after this, both you and Y/B/F pissing about spraying each other with a fire extinguisher and then laughing. First there are a few close up ones, of the couples kissing behind you, and then one of you spraying Y/B/F with the extinguisher.

And finally there is the bit of Matty opening the door and moving towards the window that isn’t too far from you. One the first take Matty trips as he’s about to climb up on the bed which results in everyone around you laughing as the song continues to play in the background.

And it means that you and Y/B/F are still laughing as the second take begins. As the smoke dissipates and you hear ‘been in love with her for ages, ages, ages’ you know that Matty is about to stand on the bed just behind you.

You’re sure you can hear your curly haired brunette singing the lyrics, but you don’t feel him go behind you. And you’re confused until you feel a quick kiss being placed on your head whilst you stay in character and continue laughing at Y/B/F.

The gooey feeling that fills your chest is something you can’t stop and you’re unable to help the smile that beams on your face. When you feel Matty stand on the bed behind you and walk over through the window and the director yells cut, you still can’t make that smile disappear.

In fact, it stays on your face for the rest of the shoot. Even though you’re in no more of the video, the joy which that kiss brought to you lingers and as you’re standing beside Matty, watching the fans party and kiss each other, you end up surprising him.

Entirely out of the blue, you startle Matty when you ask him quietly, “Do you want to kiss me?”  

“Pardon?” Matty’s eyes go wide, entirely in disbelief he just heard you say that and it wasn’t some distant voice in his imagination.

His shock has you smiling, and you repeat your question, “Do you want to kiss me, Curly?

Matty stutters for a moment, but he composes himself and thinks for a moment before answering. He needs to ask, “Where’s this coming from?”

“Well you’re filming a music video for a song about us and everyone’s kissing and getting off with each other around us.” You tell him your truth, you suggest with a tiny smirk, “And for a song that’s about me I thought you might want to kiss me.”

Matty smiles at you saying that and the both of you take a moment and carry on watching everyone dance to your song on set. That is before Matty turns back to you and whispers, “Do you want to kiss me?”

Taking a second to think about the repercussions of it, you know that you shouldn’t. But that’s not what he asked.

“Yeah. I do.” You nod.

It only feels right. It’s a music video for a song that's about you and Matty. ‘Me & You Together Song’. How could you possibly appear in this video and not kiss him whilst everyone else around is kissing and dry humping?

Matty raises his eyebrow, “On camera?”

“Won’t be just us, will it? So sure, why not?” You shrug, not seeing a problem with it if everyone else is kissing around you.

Matty tries his best to not smile like he’s just been given an early Christmas present. Not because he’s so infatuated with you that kissing you is all he wants to do like he once was like. More so because he never thought he would get a chance to have you kiss him or even appear in one of his music videos.

It warms Matty’s heart more than he will ever be able to tell you that you finally feel confident enough to want to be in one of his music videos. He still remembers the conversation you once had where you said that you didn’t feel pretty enough to appear in any video, so it makes Matty quite emotional hearing you ask to be in more of it than what you already have done. You’ve come a long way from not wanting your face to appear in a video.

“What’s your vision?” Matty asks you, needing you to be comfortable with whatever you want to do.

“The party room where everyone’s kissing and dancing.” You nod towards it as you explain what you’re picturing in your head, “Maybe there’s just a slow moving shot that focuses on us and as everyone’s doing their stuff, we kiss?”

“Damn.” Matty smiles, half because it’s a fun idea and half to tease you.

You know he’s teasing though so you nudge your shoulder into his and offer, “You can even slow mo it, if you fancy?”

Matty laughs at that before he pulls you into him and he embraces you into a hug which you don’t mind in the slightest. You lean into him and wrap your arms around him and you smile even more when he chuckles, “Sweetheart, I adore you.”

“I adore you too, Curly.” You promise him.

The director cuts the take that the kids are currently doing and the giggles of the couples awkwardly being around a bunch of strangers whilst getting off with each other takes over the room. You and Matty let go of each other then but before he moves away he tells you, “Let me go and pitch it… And by that I mean let me tell him we're adding it in and I'll be back over in a minute.”

Of course, Matty persuades the director to do his bidding. Well, both of your bidding really.

But before you know it, Matty is pulling you into the crowd of people in the fake party and he stops you in the middle of them.

“We’re all gunna dance and have a good time, right?” Matty grins at everyone around him and they cheer whilst you share smiles with the kids who clearly recognise you.

A few of them you could tell were a little nervous to come up to you and Y/B/F earlier, but they needn't have been. The ones that came up to you and told you that they liked your art, you loved talking to.

You know by now that sometimes a mere smile to your friend’s fans means a lot to them, and it’s really not a hardship for you to say hello to anyone.

As the director sets the shot up on the cameras, the song plays in the background and everyone is encouraged to continue dancing as the lights are all ready for them and Matty clearly doesn’t have to sing along in this shot.

When everything around you feels normal and not false, you and Matty are dancing a little and he asks, “You ready?”

“It’s really not a hardship to kiss you, you know?” You giggle, because it truly isn’t.

“That’s good to know,” Matty smirks, “I can make you do it more often.”

You shake your head, telling him to, “Stop it, you tease.”

“When haven’t I been a tease?” Your curly haired brunette chuckles and pulls you a little closer to him.

It seemed to be right on cue though because after you’re securely in Matty’s arms the take begins.

“Alright guys. Same take as last time please,” And once everyone is set, the director yells. “Action.”

Looking into his brown eyes as you carry on dancing for a moment, it’s like nothing has changed. You feel like you’re back in his house, at one of his house parties when you were both a hell of a lot younger than you are now.

You’re the first one to initiate this kiss as you look down to those lips that you can practically already feel against your own. And when you look back up at him he’s now looking at your lips.

When his eyes meet yours again, you just know that the both of you feel the pull that’s between you. And neither of you hesitate to press your lips against the other’s.

Kissing Matty feels like coming home. It helps that his curls are as wayward as ever, and you push them back behind his ears as you take his face in your hands, wondering momentarily if it’s too much, if you shouldn’t be obscuring his face. Matty leans into it though; his palms flat across the curve of your back, tucking his body towards yours. It’s about as much as you can get away with in such a public setting.

Nothing about this kiss feels performative. Perhaps he’s just that much of a natural in front of the camera, but you’re both taking advantage of all the shared history in your touch. A kiss between the two of you speaks to so many years of pining, crushing, wanting, loving. You can’t part your lips too wide, let too much in or out, but his mouth is soft and gentle, undemanding despite all your mutual teasing, yet still feels hot and has your heart racing.

Matty punctuates the kiss with a brief interlude, kissing your cheek. Your hands drop to his collar, and one of his own settles at the nape of your neck, his thumb brushing the very corner of your jaw and making a shiver run beneath your skin. Ridiculous, you think, how he can still summon that.

His lips find yours again and you both almost lose yourself and forget your surroundings entirely when Matty bites your lip to pull you into the next kiss. You both almost deepen your next kiss until it’s shortened a little too quickly by the director shouting, “And cut!” and that feels like such a shame for the both of you.

However, you and Matty smile at each other and the look on his face makes you feel like you're a school girl with a crush again. You feel embarrassed by the amount of eyes around you that you have to look down at the ground after that small moment grinning at the singer.

“I think we need to run it again.” Matty calls out which makes everyone, including you laugh.

You look back up at him and shake your head, calling him, “Greedy.” in jest.

“Always.” Your curly haired brunette grins and you see that his cheeks have flushed slightly.

“We got it Matty, it was a long kiss.” The director calls back which embarasses you a little more but you don’t regret either of your actions.

Acting like he isn't already blushing, Matty asks, “You sure?” clearly in hopes that you both get to do another take.

“Stop being a simp, Healy.” George yells from across the room which makes you and all the fans around the both of you laugh.

“Ignore him,” You tell Matty before you wrap your arms around him, “He’s just jealous.”

The singer laughs at that and hugs you back, whilst shouting over your shoulder, “Yeah, hear that George. You’re just jealous!”

The laughter surrounding you makes you an unknowing victim as to what’s about to happen to you. Clearly Matty has no idea either because you’re sure he wouldn’t have let you go from the hug if he knew that George was going to march up behind you, spin you around, and pick you up, practically throwing you over his shoulder.

George throwing you over his shoulder makes you squeal and before you even know it you’re being walked away. “Who’s jealous now Matty?” You hear George call and you're left clutching to the giant's top to keep you sort of upright and you see the man you just kissed trying not to laugh and he shakes his head at the sight of you on his best mate's shoulder.

“That’s an accurate representation of the three of our’s relationship.” Matty tells all the kids and as they laugh your cheeks just heat up more and more until you feel like you could die from embarrassment.

~*~*~*~

The rest of the day goes really well. And all of the kids are only there for a few more hours until Matty and the boys end up talking to them and saying their goodbyes once all the takes they were needed for were finished.

“Now everyone’s gone can we do our sex scene.” Matty grins as he traps you in another hug.  

He has you giggling dismissively, “Very nice try.”

“You know I'm joking.” Your curly haired brunette grins, loving hearing you laugh.

“I know.” You chuckle.

And it is the truth. You can tell just by the way Matty is that he really wasn’t using today as a way to come onto you. After all, it was your idea to kiss him. And the flirty banter has been there for months including being on tour with him, and it doesn’t mean anything other than you being close friends still.

You can tell by the way he acts that he’s really not looking for a relationship with anyone at this moment in time. Something which you respect because you were still in the same sort of spot at the minute.

You’re more set on nurturing your friendships at the moment and getting back on track with everything. Especially since Alex came back into your life properly. And for now, you're happy as you are.

“You want to stick around and watch us do the song?” Matty brings you out of your thoughts.

“Course,” You nod, knowing that they were going to position them on set so they can pre-set the cameras in the positions they will be needed in tomorrow. Which reminds you to ask, “Can I still come tomorrow? I find this all very interesting.”

“You’re more than welcome Sweetheart.” Matty smiles as he squeezes your arm a little. “Thank you for today by the way. You didn’t have to do that but I really appreciate it.”

“Like I said earlier, it’s not a hardship to kiss you Matty. It felt right.” You’re completely honest with him.

But before either of you can continue, your soulmate uses your nickname to summon you.

“Hey Baby!” George calls, drawing yours and Matty’s attention towards him.

He waves you over, “Come look at my outfit for tomorrow.”

Matty ends up pulling you over towards where the other guys and Y/B/F are. And you walk over to just beside Ross who pulls you into a side hug as you say to George, “Lets see.”

“Yes.” Y/B/F nods very enthusiastically, “Please take your top off.”

You burst out laughing at that, and you encourage this, “Yes, please please do.” which has Adam walking off from you all mumbling something about going to phone Carly, Ross shaking his head but chuckling.

But what’s best is that Matty is faking hurt like a child that’s had his sweets taken away whilst George is grinning like he’s just won a Grammy. The wink he gives both you and Y/B/F makes you a little hot under the collar. When you both giggle and your best friend starts fanning herself, Matty then scorns her.

“Y/B/F, I’m going to gag you.”

She tuts and shakes her head, “That's Charlie’s job.”

That has you, Ross, and George trying not to cackle with laughter. Matty chuckles a little but mostly acts repulsed by the knowledge, although not as repulsed as you would imagine Adam would be if he heard that even if he did once go out with her.

“Not a visual I needed thanks.” Matty shakes his head, expressing his distaste.

Y/B/F just scoffs and stares at him as she reminds him, “Neither was you going down on my best mate and making her orgasm three times, but I was still told.”

In your peripherals you see Ross and George’s head snap towards you then. It’s about as quickly as a smirk appears on Matty’s face as the memory clearly comes back to the forefront of his mind.

“You asked me to tell you what happened.” You shrug, knowing it’s not exactly your fault that she knows the details. What else were you meant to do when your best friend was asking for them? But you quickly tell the other boys, “Years ago, don’t worry.”

“I remember you once said you were jealous of her.” Matty reminds her and she tries to take back her past self’s words.

“How young and naive I must have been,” Y/B/F shakes her head, but then she looks between both you and your curly haired brunette and scorns, “I still can't believe that’s how you both ended a day ice skating.”

You’re about to respond and say that the both of you showered beforehand but as it turns out, the other two boys were shocked by the reveal.

“Are you kidding?” Ross deadpans, “That’s what happened after ice skating?”

You nod slowly, wondering why both the drummer and bassist seem so shocked.

Even George asks like he just needs that extra confirmation, “We’ve been asking you all these years and it was that?”

The three of you who clearly knew all nod and you’re about to ask why until George speaks and it all makes sense.

“Well, props to you Matty.” The drummer nods, but then he looks back at the bassist and demands, “But Ross, I think you owe me that tenner now.”

You truly want to laugh hearing that. You’re not shocked at all that him and Ross had a bet on what happened after that day you went ice skating. You do tell them though, “You’re children.”

“We were when we made the bet.” Ross reminds you just how long it's been since you and Matty first got together, and it really makes you feel old when he exaggerates, “Would have been settled a long time ago if you told us what happened.”

You turn to Matty and say, “Surprised you didn't tell them to be honest.” and you watch his smirk get the slightest bit bigger but before he can say anything that’s even remotely flirty, you look to your soulmate and ask, “Can I see your outfit please George.” as you need the subject to be changed.

Happily George spins back around to the rack of clothes and quickly he pulls out a grey top. He turns back towards you and holds it to his chest and announces, “Here it is.”

“George.” You and Y/B/F gasp at the same time.

Except your jaw has also dropped and you’re practically clutching your pearls. The thoughts that swim through your mind make you very pleased that mind reading isn’t a thing.

Y/B/F laughs loudly as she sees you fucking gulp at the thought of George in a top that says, ‘Porn Star’ on the front.

Your best friend rips the smirk straight from Mattys face when she looks at George and smirks, “You just unlocked a new thought for her to get off too.”

And you immediately begin to get all shy and embarrassed because she’s speaking the absolute truth. Your soulmate just laughs at your reaction.

“Do you want to go get married right now?” You ask George as soon as you compose yourself.

“Absolutely not.” Matty doesnt even let George respond to you because for the second time today, your feet leave the ground and it’s not on your own accord.

This time your curly haired brunette has picked you up from the ground, this time you’re forced to wrap your legs around his waist to make it easier for him to carry you away from your friends. You play the part of a damsel in distress and say, “Matty put me down.” and “No, George, help.” but it just makes all of them laugh at Matty’s jealousy over yours and George’s flirting.

The singer puts you down when the both of you make it outside, which was only a short distance away, but Matty lights up a fag a minute after your feet return back to the ground.

The both of you laugh about George for a moment before you talk about today's events and how you both think the fans enjoyed it. You talk about anything and everything with him until you’re called back into the studio.

“You coming to our gigs in January?” Matty asks curiously.

“Yes, of course.” You smile, and then you decide to tell him, “Al is going to come to the first O2 show, if that’s okay?”

“Course it is.” Your curly haired brunette nods.

In the past few weeks you’d been back in contact with Alex again, you had told Matty about it and he seemed relieved for you because he could tell on tour that it was eating you up inside the way Alex left things with you. And despite you knowing that the singer had every right to say ‘I told you so’ about your best friend, he never did.

Something which you truly appreciated. But after all, that was something your curly haired brunette would have done when he was a lot younger. He’s grown up and he’s a better person than he once was. Silly arguments mean wasted time and Matty would rather have you in his life than without you, so he would support whatever decision you made regarding your friendship with Alex.

Matty promises you, “I’ll sort a box for you.”

“Thank you, but I don’t want a box, Matty.” You really fancy a good dance and a vibe for his music this time, so you tell him, “I’ll chill on the floor.”

“You can’t.” Matty almost laughs thinking that you could. He has to remind you, “You’ll both be mobbed.”

You know he’s not exactly exaggerating because you’ve seen the way Alex’s fans tend to swarm him. You can’t imagine those of Matty’s fans who like both bands would be any different. So you just end up pouting, “But I wanna dance Matty.”

“You can dance at the sound-desk, yeah?” The singer suggests a happy medium.

“Alright, sure.” You smile, getting that nervous excited feeling in your stomach because his gigs really aren’t that far away. You feel like you’ve just managed to get tickets on Ticketmaster. “I’ll definitely take you up on that one.”

Their February tour truly can’t come soon enough.

~*~*~*~  December 12th 2019  ~*~*~*~

You and Alex had spent almost every day with each other since he came back. Making up for lost time is clearly what you’d both been doing.

Apart from those days you were with Matty and the other boys watching them shoot their music video, you had seen Alex for at least a few hours a day, if not all day. With him not working, and you obviously working from home the both of you have talked everything out and Alex has been making amends with you.

The amount of grovelling from Alex has been borderline funny, but you know that you deserve to receive every apology he has for you after what happened. But that doesn’t mean that all the both of you have been doing is getting over the past.

Like tonight, the both of you have been out with Matt and his new girlfriend Amanda. You’ve been out drinking in Soho after you’d just been for a meal with them and a few other friends of theirs and it has been a really nice evening.

Despite it being a Thursday, when the time came for you both to go out drinking afterwards, you all agreed to it. And you’re already a little tipsy and you know Alex isn’t too far behind you.

And your tipsy state is probably what makes the both of you lag behind the happy couple and their friends as you all make your way to a new bar. However, you and your best friend don’t make it to the next bar at all.

When your friends are a fair distance in front of you both, Alex grabs your hand and you both come to a stop on the busy road. You raise your eyebrows at him, wondering what’s made him stop in the first place.

And your best friend surprises you a little by suggesting, “Let's go in here.”

You look up at the sign that reads ‘Ronnie Scotts’ and you’ve heard the name before which is why you question him, “A jazz club?”

“London's finest, come on.” Alex grins and gives it a little tug, “It’ll be fun. Better than all the pretentious people we've just been around.”

You smile at that and nod, “Okay.” and your best friend doesn’t need to be told twice to pull you inside. Neither of you even thinking to tell your friends that you’re ditching them.

Inside immediately feels like you’ve stepped into the past. The only way you can describe it is that you and Alex have walked into an episode of Peaky Blinders where they are in a club but there’s no cocaine or prostitutes.

The decor is very Ritz like and there's a vintage ambiance to the place. The lights in the room have been turned down, and there are small lamps on each table keeping the room lit so the guests who are already in here can see each other.

The music is what gets you though. You’re already well aware of the importance of live music to peoples lives but there's something about Jazz music that hits you square in the chest that makes you love it.

Quickly you and Alex are escorted to a free table and you love that you have a great view of the stage so you get to watch the musicians at work. Both you and Alex are spellbound as you watch the musicians improvise their music, more so you than Alex, but you both barely remember ordering your drinks with the waiter so when they come you’re almost confused.

The both of you watch in awe as you sit close to each other so you can speak about the music when you can. Alex tells you little interesting facts about friends of his who sometimes do this sort of thing or about different places like this he’s been to that he’s seen on his travels and you just get all the more jealous of him.

You and your best friend only start chatting properly when the band goes on a quick break and you’re left with some Jazz music coming through the speakers instead. You and Alex start drinking your drinks then and you end up doing a few shots with each other too. It’s been a fun night, you might as well end it by getting pissed with your best mate after you both abandoned Matt and his girlfriend.

“How you feeling about everything?” You ask the question you’ve been wanting to ask for the past week or so. “We’ve not spoken about it in a while.”

You’re unsure half the time Alex is with you, if he’s pretending that he’s always alright. Especially since most of the time he’s been grovelling too.

As he should really after what happened, but apologies can only take him so far. Besides, you want to make sure he’s actually doing okay in himself and not just because he feels like he can’t be sad about his bitch of an ex in front of you.

“I'm good.” Alex nods, “Been doing alright.”

And whilst that is good to hear, you need to know he actually means it. Because you don’t want him to be suffering in silence.

“Yeah but are you good good.” You question him, “Or are you just saying that so I don't worry?”

“If you really must know,” Alex smiles but his face becomes a little more serious as he tells you truthfully, “I’m not hurt over it anymore. I’m in that bit where I’m angry… But I don’t think that's going to go away. I think that's where the phase will stay with that whole thing because she used me at the end of the day. It was just a waste of my time and effort.”

Nodding, you tell him, “I don't blame you for being angry. God knows we all still are. But as long as you’re okay.”

Both of you almost jump a little as the band starts playing loudly again. Clearly the both of you are so invested in your own conversations that you didn’t see them come back on stage.

“I’m the best I can be.” Alex speaks a little louder and he nudges your shoulder as he smiles, “I’ve got my best friend back by my side and we’re out listening to fucking awesome live music.”

He gestures back to the band and he loves the smile that lights up your face as you see them performing. But Alex enjoys making you laugh even more when he says, “Even better that we’ve just ditched a bunch of boring people and Matt’s god awful new girlfriend.”

“Alex,” You laugh, your face filled with shock and amusement, but have to scorn him, “You can’t say that.”

“I can and I will.” Alex takes a long sip of his drink before confirming, “She’s really annoying.”

You shake your head and look back to the band, not entirely disagreeing with him but you haven’t met her enough times to make a full decision on her yet. Yes tonight she seemed annoying but you can’t base your dislike of someone that you’ve only met for around 4 hours.

“We’re allowed to say things about people's girlfriends now anyway if we don't like them, are we not?” Alex smirks, seeing your disapproving shake of your head.

“You don't not like her,” You try to reason with him, “You just think she's annoying.”

“Don't you dare tell me that you don't find that accent the most overbearing thing in the world.” Alex laughs, knowing full well that you’re not fully set on Amanda yet.

There had been multiple occasions tonight where Matt’s girlfriend had said something and it made both you and your best friend give each other a knowing look. One that screamed, ‘what the fuck’ or ‘i can’t believe she just said that.’

“You literally had an American girlfriend.” For now you defend her though, reminding Alex. “And you have American friends.”

“Yeah and she had a nicer accent.” Alex laughs, “And my friends from America aren't annoying or overbearing like her… Well, my favourite ones aren’t anyway.”

You catch a small smile brighten your best friend's face then and you can clearly tell he’s got someone in mind, but you don’t question it. You’re not given time to anyway, because Alex throws his head back and complains almost to God, “I'm sick of him showing me pictures of her arse.”

“Alex Turner.” You laugh out loud, having no idea about this before he just told you. But you just can’t believe he’s complaining, “Never thought I'd see the day when I hear that you don't want to see a woman's arse.”

“I don’t mind seeing your arse Angel,” Alex jokes and then he drops the jokes when you hit his arm. Laughing at you, but saying truthfully, “I don’t wanna see this random woman’s arse when I've only met her twice. I’ve seen her arse more times than her face.”

“You’re such an arse man it's unreal.” You deadpan, you can’t believe the fact that he’s saying that he doesn’t want to see pictures of a woman’s arse, “I can’t believe I'm hearing this.”

“All of your official girlfriends have been in the iddy biddy titty committee Alex.” You want to laugh in his face, “You’re a bigger arse man than Matt.”

“Shut up.” Alex playfully puts his hand over your face and pushes you away slightly.

You’re just drunkenly laughing and you lick his hand so he moves his hand off you. Your best friend starts laughing too before he wipes his hand down your arm.

“I just don't like her, okay?” Alex chuckles and he decides to distract you with alcohol, “Do you want a cocktail?”

You hastily nod, “I would love a cocktail.”

“Okay then.” Alex grins and reaches for the menu so the both of you can continue your night in the best way possible.

~*~*~*~

After you’re both another 3 drinks deep, and you’re both feeling the full effects of the alcohol you’ve had now, your latest conversation gets interrupted by an older lady that you’d seen down on the dancefloor not so long ago with who you presumed to be her husband.

The older woman gives you a big smile as she approaches the both of you and she stops and says, “Hello there, I’m Bess.”

“Hello Bess.” You offer her a big smile in return.

Watching as she eyes the both of you, she smiles and nods, “You two look like you’ve got rhythm.”

Your drunk brain nudges Alex with your shoulder and you grin, “This one certainly does.”

In your head, this makes sense because your best friend is a musician and he literally has to have rhythm to be good at his job. However, to an old lady, who has no fucking clue who Alex, it sounds seedy. Something that you might have picked up with a clear mind, but certainly not whilst you're drunk.

“I bet he does.” She smirks and winks at you before grinning at Alex, “Young chap like you looks like you keep the both of you very happy.”

Alex immediately smirks at you, nudging you right back not bothering to correct Bess, but it’s only at that moment that your slow brain catches back up with how the comment was taken.

“Wait no! No,” Your eyes go wide and you begin to backtrack, “I- I meant tha-”

“Angel,” Alex interrupts and he smirks saying, “Let the lovely lady talk.” clearly enjoying you fumble over your words when the lady took it the wrong way.

And you’re sure he must be a little curious too because he prompts the lady to continue, “Amazing, so tonight we're teaching people how to dance like we’ve just won the war and we're going to need the two of you to come and help us fill up the floor.” The lady grabs your hand and gives it a gentle tug with a bright smile on her lips, “Come on.”

“Right now?” You ask, your eyes going a little wide.

Looking back at the dancefloor, it’s certainly filled a lot more than you’d seen earlier. You hadn’t noticed before but there are a fair few elderly couples now around, there’s not many young couples at all. Certainly not on the floor waiting to dance anyway.

“Yes, right now.” She tells you as she almost pulls you out of your seat. Not before you grab ahold of Alex’s hand though and make sure he comes with you, “Whilst the night is still young.”

“We’ve never danced before.” You tell her truthfully.

Truly you can’t imagine dancing how she’s expecting you both to dance when the both of you have slow danced at the very best at various weddings over the years and nothing more. But the lady assures you quickly in hopes that you don’t back out.

“That's fine.” She smiles at you and she’s grinning as she tells you, “Half the people we get up each month haven't either. You two are more of the unlucky ones tonight. But I promise you, you’ll never feel more alive than you do tonight.”

Alex, clearly listening from just behind you, leans down to your ear and whispers, “I can think of a few occasions.” and you can feel his smirk on your skin.  

You purse your lips together to try to stop the embarrassment from taking over, but you shake your head at him, “You’re filthy.”

Alex just laughs as the both of you are pulled onto the dancefloor and you have to admit that you feel pure dread when the band start playing again and the couples around you are all fucking amazing. Despite their age, the fast paced dancing doesn’t phase them in the slightest, in fact you don’t think you’ve ever seen smiles so big.

Bess sets herself the task of teaching you and Alex how to dance to jazz music and she is a fucking trooper with you both because to start with you’re both fucking awful. She teaches the both of you first how to move together as you dance and she does this by demonstrating with her dance partner Christopher (who Bess made very clear was not her husband but her neighbour) before she takes Alex from you to show him how to move you and Christopher does the same with you.

It takes a little bit of time for you both to get anywhere near good at this, but when both you and Alex try together you both have the best time even if it goes wrong. At one point you got the steps wrong and you bumped into your best friend's chest and you both just burst out laughing.

You hid into his chest for a few seconds and his arms wrapped around you to steady you but you can hear and feel him chuckling. You truly blame being so bad for being drunk and you keep joking with Alex that you’d be great at Jazz dancing if you were sober. Eventually once you master dancing together, and what you think Bess calls ‘swinging in and outs’ from each other and ‘side passes’, you move on to different moves that you can incorporate into the dance.

Some of them make you and Alex giggle when you’re just doing the move on its own because it feels so silly. For example, the ‘Shorty George’ (a move which you will definitely be making Mr Daniel do the next time you see him) which is where you have to stick your elbows out slightly and you walk forward whilst swaying your hips with your knees bent.

But when you come to put that move into your ‘swing in and outs’ or ‘side passes’, you struggle so much (But you think it is a bit nasty that it’s just you who does the move when you’re dancing with a partner and your best friend gets away with not doing it again). It makes Alex laugh at you so much but he finds it funnier because despite you being drunk, you’re so determined to get that one and all the other’s you’ve learned right in the swing outs.

You learn how to do Skates, Stomps, the Suzie Q, and a Lock Turn and the both of you have so much fucking fun. Both you and Alex really struggle with one called the Full Break but you end up sort of getting somewhere near it as you try your best to have good rhythm whilst you dance.

Either that or you're slightly too drunk and you’re both fumbling messes. But you don’t care. You’re having fun with your best friend and you’re loving it.

Even when you need a short break though, the both of you are giggling as you can’t really believe that this is how your night has turned out. You stop for drink breaks when Bess will allow you to and Alex is the one who runs to the bar each time to get something to quench your thirst.

The first time he comes back with a pint of water each for you along with two alcoholic drinks. The second time he comes back with more drinks for you and even some shots like earlier.

But this time when Alex went to the bar, you didn’t give yourself much of a break from dancing. Your best friend stands and watches you as he’s at the bar and feels a series of emotions run through his body as he looks at what you’re up to.

You’re drunkenly giggling with a different elderly couple as the lady teaches you what Alex thinks he remembers Bess saying was a Gaze Afar. And it’s the smile that’s on your face that makes Alex want to remember every single second of seeing you so happy.

Feeling someone's gaze on you, you look up and see Alex at the bar after you’ve done what the lady was showing you and the way your face lights up even more as you wave him back over to you really makes his night. You look like an excited puppy wanting to show him a new trick.

After he’s come back with drinks the both of you start dancing again and just like before, each time you learn a new move, it throws you off a bit.

You bump into each other's chests as you clearly get the steps wrong, but you both just burst out laughing and stay there for a moment. Your head rests on his shoulder as you giggle before you look up at him and start laughing at yourselves some more.

Alex wraps his arms around you to give you a hug and despite the both of you being slightly sweaty now in this hot room you lean into him. This is the most fun you’ve had on a night out in ages and the fact you’re both not terrible makes it a little better.

Eventually, your instructors leave you to your dancing obviously thinking you’ve got enough moves under your belt to keep you going now. And the both of you dance the night away. The next time that you see what time it is, it’s almost 2am and you and Alex decide to call it a night as you’ve been here almost 4 hours and you’ve been dancing for 3 of them.

After thanking Bess and Christopher and you’ve said your goodbyes to the other couple that helped you, you link Alex’s arm and the both of you head outside. You can’t help but think they are legends for being so much older than you and actually staying out later than you both.

And you never thought you would appreciate the chilly December air again like you once did but it was glorious after you’d just been dancing for almost 3 hours. The relief both you and Alex felt when you got outside was like you’d gone back in time and you were leaving a nightclub back in Sheffield after one of the Monkeys first gigs.

Needing to wind down a little but not yet wanting to call it a night, both of you head into the infamous Bar Italia which is just over the road. It’s a cute cafe that doesn’t close until 3am so you’ve got a little over an hour to just chill out and calm down before you plan to head back to your flat.

Once you and Alex get settled in the cafe that's currently decorated from top to bottom in Christmas decorations, you and your best friend get your coffees and start chatting the night away. After just talking about how much fun the both of you had, you glance around at the pretty Christmas lights and you have to ask him.

“Are you going home for Christmas?”

“Yeah.” Alex nods before taking a sip of his Americano.  

You smile at that, and ask, “When are you heading back?”

“Depends when I brave it, but not sure on the day yet.” Alex tells you, “What about you?”

“Me and Matty are driving home on the twenty-third…” You tell him and after you sip your Cappuccino, you offer, “You’re more than welcome to join us. He’s taking me back to Sheffield first and one more person in the car won't be an issue.”

“Thank you, but I don't want it to seem like a taxi service on your road trip.” Alex smiles completely thankful for the offer but goes on to explain why he declines, “Besides I think I’m going up a little bit earlier this year... Mum’s got some family thing she wants me to come to, I don't really know though.”

“That should be fun.” You smile, and there’s a warm feeling that makes its way back to your chest when you think about that Christmas that you spent at the Turner household.

You especially miss just being younger and going to his house after school with Matt or one of the other lads though. You miss the nights that you, Y/B/F, Alex, and Matt would have together where everything in life was so easy and simple that the only worry you all had was homework. You even miss it when it was just you and Alex in his house for those few months you were sort of seeing each other before his second tour.

You’re honest when you tell him, “I miss coming to your house and seeing Penny and David.”

“I’m sure they miss having us there,” Alex smiles a little, thinking back on the times you were in his childhood home with him. “Same way we miss Sheffield.”

“Yeah.” You nod, glancing down at your Yorkshire rose tattoo fondly.  

After a moment, Alex brings you out of your head when he wonders, “You having Christmas in Manchester or are you staying in Sheffield first and then driving over?”

“I think I'm going to stay in Manchester for this one.” You explain as you pick up your spoon and start stirring the foam around in your drink, “Mum will probably only come round for dinner again… So I think I’m just going to spend the day with my Aunt and Uncle and then help my Aunt cook. And then wait for people to come round after Mum leaves.”

You sigh a little at the end of telling your best friend that, but instead of dwelling on it you just ask your best friend, “What’s your plan with your Mum and Dad on Christmas Day?”

When you don’t get a response after a couple of silent seconds of you still playing with your coffee, you stop and look up at him. And when you do, your best friend looks at you with so much emotion in his eyes it’s difficult to pick out exactly what he’s feeling. Especially when you’re still a bit tipsy, so you’re thankful when he speaks up.

“I don't know if I've ever told you Angel, but I’m drunk so I’m just going to say it how it is.” Alex doesn’t hesitate to look straight into your eyes and tell you that, “You deserve so much better than what your Mum gives you... I’m sorry she’s not how you want her to be and that it's still so strained between you.”

“Thanks Al.” You smile, but even Alex can tell it’s a pitiful one. You just shrug, “Unfortunately, I'm used to it but I sort of get it… It's another hard holiday for her.”

“Doesn’t mean that her not seeing you for long on Christmas is any less harder on you.” Alex takes your hand and he gives it a squeeze as he says, “You both lost your Dad, not just her.”

“I know. I know.” You squeeze his hand back. “Guess I’ll just have to wait for the days when I don't have to go home for Christmas.”

Clearly after a few drinks, you must like to chat about deep stuff because after a minute of the both of you going back to your coffees you ask Alex, “Do you ever feel left out when it comes to that?”

“How’d you mean?” Alex asks, not quite understanding your question.

“Well, do you realise it’s always us going home for Christmas but Nick, Jamie, and Matt don't go home… To their parents I mean.” You explain as best you can, “I guess I’m trying to ask, do you ever feel left out that you don't have your own family to stay in one place for?”

Whilst the question shocks Alex a little, he lets you continue airing your thoughts, “I was talking to Ross, Matty, and George about it and we said that we all think that when the time comes for Adam and Carly to eventually have a baby that they won't go home for Christmas, because London's their home.”

It’s at that point you look to Alex in hopes for a reply, and after a few seconds thinking, he says, “In some ways I think so, yeah… I'm sure you all agreed with me on that. Maybe you more so than them because all of our friends - bar Y/B/F - have kids. They aren’t exposed to it as much as we are, but yeah, I think we miss out on the stability of everything. But I think that the definition of ‘home’ changes when kids come along.”

Alex watches as you as he continues on to explain, “Parents end up coming to your house instead, or you just go round in the evenings if you live close enough... But with Adam, if he did have a baby, your Aunt and Uncle would more than likely be invited to his house. It’s what Matt does, and Jamie and Nick… So nothing really changes. You still have your family, you’re just headed to a different destination when you’re home for Christmas.”

And whilst you nod agreeing with what he’s saying, maybe it’s the lingering alcohol that opens a small insecurity of yours which is why you end up faking a smile and saying, “And that leaves me alone in my flat in London.”

Immediately, your best friend raises his eyebrows and corrects you, “It leaves you to decide whether you want to go to mine, or Y/B/F’s, or Matty’s, or George’s… You’re not ever going to be alone on Christmas, Angel. And don't be silly, you’d be invited to Adam’s.” Alex adds with a smile, “They would need a babysitter.”

And whilst the thought of your cousin makes you smile for a second, Alex suggests an alternative, “Besides when that happens, you might already have your own family to stay around for.”

And whilst the thought is nice, you immediately let out a dry laugh and shake your head, “I don't want a baby anytime soon, thank you very much. I’ll let Adam check that off and then I can be a real Auntie to baby Hann.”

“Fair enough,” Alex laughs at that but then asks, “You think he’ll get married first?”

“One hundred percent.” You nod, not believing for a second it would go any other way.

After this, you and Alex finish off the last of your drinks and he asks, “You fancy a walk?”

“I’d love a walk.” You smile.

And so that is how the both of you have ended up walking home past 3am as you make the long trek from Soho to your flat in Kentish Town. The both of you knew it was about an hour's walk away, so you’re not quite sure why you did actually want to walk that far in the cold. But the both of you did prepare for it, because the both of you bought an Americano to go and you bought a small bottle of whisky at an off licence and added some in hopes to keep you drunk enough that you don’t feel the cold.

When you’re about 20 minutes away from your flat, your best friend breaks the short silence between you, “Angel?”

You smile at his nickname for you and you say his right back, “Darling?”

“I really enjoyed tonight.” Alex tells you with a proud smile.

You’re smiling like an idiot at that knowledge, “Really?”

“Yeah.” He nods.

“So did I.” You start grinning like an idiot when you tell him that.

You’ve had the best night out for a long while tonight. The last time you had a night this good was when you, Matty, and George got high on tour in America and you had the best night out with them.

Alex’s smile is so bloody cute when he asks you, “You wanna do it again?”

“Yeah, I’d go again.” You smile, thinking it’s adorable that he seems like he actually wants to go again.

“Okay,” Alex nods, looking like he’s won the lottery with the grin on his face he tells you, “Next month we’re going again.”

You’re grinning like an idiot now, “Okay… We will get a taxi back then though.”

It has gone a little too cold since the both of you finished your coffees and you now wish the both of you got a taxi. But you’re closer to home now so you might as well finish your walk.

“Sounds like a plan.” Alex grins, and he chuckles before he says, “I’m glad we left Matt.”  

You give him the side eye then and shake your head, telling him seriously to, “Be nice.” because you know he’s just looking for an excuse to chat shit about Matt’s new girlfriend.

“No, I’m serious,” Alex dryly laughs, “We would have ended up wanting to jump in front of a bus because of what Matt is like with her.”  

That is a completely fair point. The new couple are all over each other and it’s minging. The constant PDA is what gives you the ick, especially when you are all out in public together. Even when you were with Matty or Alex, yes you were clingy in the privacy of your own homes but when you were out with them you kept it to a kiss here and there and hand holding.

Matt and Amanda clearly have very little boundaries currently.

You all but snort, thinking the past would have definitely repeated itself if you stayed out with them, “It’d have been like the night we got out of the taxi.”

Alex chuckles to himself a little then though, which prompts you to ask, “What?”

“You read my mind. I was thinking the exact same thing.” He smiles, nudging your shoulder a little, almost making you trip.

You giggle a little and nudge him right back so he’s the one that stumbles a little. But once you fall back in step with him and you both calm down a little, you ask your best friend, “Can you believe how much has changed since now and then?”

So much has changed in both of your lives since that night you pulled Alex out of the taxi so he wasn’t left to hear Matt shag that girl. The night that you kissed each other and slept together for the first time was so long ago but it’s strange because you remember it so well.

You truly don’t think you could have ever predicted your life ending up the way it has though. If you would have told your 17 year old self that you would be best friends with boys in very successful bands and that you yourself are a successful artist you would be so thrilled for your friends and so very proud of yourself.

“I know.” Alex seems fond of the memory, and the way he’s grinning tells you that much. But he ruins it by rubbing his cheeks a little and saying, “All my spots have finally gone.”

“Stop being nasty to yourself.” You punch his arm playfully but you’re honest when you say, “You were fit, Alex. Stop.”

“Were fit.” Alex rests a hand over his chest like he’s hurt and he fakes being upset as he points out, “Past tense. Quite rude.”

Rolling your eyes, you sigh, “You know exactly what I meant.”

Alex just chuckles at that and after a minute, he asks curiously, “Did you like me before that night?”

“Honestly, no.” You shake your head, almost laughing when you say, “Nothing more than a close friend anyway.” because it’s fucking mental how you’ve both ended up as you are.

Alex isn’t offended at all by this, but he does wonder, “So why did you ask me to kiss you?”

“Because I wanted to have a good first kiss with someone I trusted.” You tell your best friend after thinking about it for a moment, and add, “In the same sense that I wanted to have sex with you because I trusted you.”

Alex smiles at this, feeling genuinely happy that you trusted him enough back then for you to even want to kiss him.

“And no I didn’t even think about shagging you before I kissed you, before you ask.” You add with a little smirk before he can ask himself. But you want to make sure he knows, “And you were always attractive Alex, even with your spots. I just never thought of you like that because I didn’t think you would think of me like that.”

Your best friend still has a grin on his lips after you tell him that, but the both of you still walking hope at this stupid hour in the morning has you both feeling reflective. And it leads to Alex asking, “Want to know a secret?”

“Depends what it is.” You raise your eyebrows.

And his grin somehow gets bigger when he tells you honestly, “I started thinking you were attractive back in high school.”

“Really?” Your eyes go wide at this, not thinking anyone found you attractive until that night you and Alex lost your virginities.  

Alex nods, “Yeah.”

“What made you think that?” You have to ask him before the conversation moves on.

You were in sixth form when you and Alex first had sex, and before that not even Peter had given you an inkling he liked you. And in high school you certainly didn’t feel very attractive in your school uniform so in your mind you can’t imagine anyone fancying you in school.  

“I don’t really know when the change was.” Alex thinks out loud, “I think I always thought you were pretty though... Even a five year old me could tell that.”

“Oh stop.” You don’t believe him for a second, “You people pleaser.”

“I’m serious though.” Alex tells you, and when you look at him you can actually tell that he’s being honest. But then he goes on to explain your previous question, “And I think you just grew up and came into your own… You got more confident and definitely more ballsy.”

Your best friend grins when he recalls, “I remember thinking that you were a bad bitch for sneaking out of your bedroom window that night that me and Matt helped you down.”

But what you don’t expect him to remember at all was what he said next, “I think everyone noticed you properly though that non-uniform day where you came into school and you were wearing skinny jeans and a crop top.” Alex cringes a little as he looks for your reaction as he tells you, “Gross lad talk, but everyone thought your tits and arse looked great and you had everyone groaning when you put that baggy cardigan on because we all wanted to ogle you some more.”

You laugh, not being surprised at all. You just disapprove by stating, “Horny teenage boys.”

“Yep.” Alex laughs, and he almost groans when he adds, “But when you started with the fishnets and the skirts, Christ, you were so fucking fit Y/N/N… Everyone was jealous of Peter.”

You tease him a little by shrugging and telling your best friend, “You could have had me then Alex.”

“I know, don’t remind me.” Alex scorns himself and the regret is written all over his face. But he continues to tell you his God's honest truth, “But I never thought about you as more than a friend until that night. I feel like after our conversation we were bound to each other because if you didn’t ask if I wanted to get things out of the way with you, I would have asked you after that kiss.”

“Great minds.” You grin and after another minute of walking, you start to recognise the shops you're passing so you know you’re almost home.

But whilst your mind is on that night in particular, you ask Alex, “Can you believe you were my first proper kiss? The one I remember anyway.”

“I’m happy I was.” The smile on Alex’s face brightens up all of his features, but hearing he’s happy he was your first kiss makes you smile and your cheeks heat up a little bit.

“I wish you were mine.” Your best friend tells you, “I don’t even know the name of the girl that was mine. She disappeared whatever night it was in that bar.”

You vaguely remember the night he was referencing. Your friends at the time nudged both you and Y/B/F so you could watch it happen. And you all hyped Alex up after it, but you remember his slight disappointment when he went back to where she was with her friends earlier and the girl was nowhere to be found.  

“She disappeared or you got too drunk?” You decide to tease him.

Alex gives you a look then and it’s a playful ‘don’t question me on this’ which almost makes you giggle. But your best friend reiterates, “She disappeared, Angel.”

You pout and ask, “But who would run away from you?”

“Don’t know.” Your best friend shrugs, but when he’s about to say something else about your past, you suddenly start running ahead of him.

Immediately Alex knows you’re ‘running off’ from him like you’re joking the girl he kissed did, but your best friend doesn’t hesitate to chase after you. You’re a quick little thing, but Alex catches you fairly easily as his arms wrap around you from behind and he picks you up and spins you around.

The both of you are laughing loudly despite the hour and the fact people in the houses around you are definitely asleep. But the both of you are so in your own little world that you couldn’t care less.

Once Alex puts you back on your own two feet, he doesn’t really let you go. He spins you around and traps you against him, wrapping his arms around your lower back so you can’t leave him again and he playfully chuckles, “Now why would you do that?”

But you’re too busy giggling to give him an answer. You stand in his arms, both of you laughing for a good minute until you calm down enough to remind him, “Hey, do you remember that you hesitated when I asked if I could kiss you?”

Alex want’s to tell you that he remembers everything about that night in vivid detail, but he settles for admitting, “Clearly I was young, naive, and very stupid.”

You hum in approval of that and you’re looking up at him as you think out loud, “Must have been a shock… I don’t blame you.”

The both of you just look at each other with massive smiles on your faces then, but only when Alex’s eyes drop to your lips do you feel the air around you change. It becomes charged again and you don’t do anything to stop it.

You're not all that surprised when after a silent minute, your best friend says, “Angel?”

“Shakespeare?”

Alex whispers, “Please ask me your question.”

You knew it was coming, but actually hearing him ask that again stirred up feelings you hadn’t felt for a long time. Unable to stop yourself, you recall him with a small grin, “You told me to stop asking it.”

It feels like Alex is looking into your soul when he gently shakes his head and whispers, “I don’t want you to stop asking it.”

Whilst that makes your heartbeat a little faster, you have to remind him, “We’re drunk.” because you don’t think this would be the smartest thing you’ll ever do.  

“And?” Alex shrugs and instead reminds you, “We were drunk the first time.”

Too much has happened to fall into old habits though, so even if you kiss him, you tell him, “It can’t lead to that this time.”

“I know.” Alex smiles a little, and you can see and feel that he genuinely means it when he says, “But I want to feel seventeen again for a very brief moment.” and it’s the small pleading, “Please.” after a few seconds that has you asking your question.  

You take a deep breath before you ask, “Can I kiss yo-”

Despite being cut off, you relax into your best friend immediately. Your lips meet again in a drunken kiss, one of the best kinds, all instinct and no hesitation. His head tilts and his arm wraps itself around your shoulder, pulling you in at the perfect angle.

And you stand there for a few moments like that - breathing one another in, warm lips on warmer lips. You wish you could just melt into him, stop existing at this precise moment in time so it could be preserved forever. It feels like it could only be pleasurable, judging by the way you both are reluctant to loosen your holds.

At the final instant, he pulls back playfully on your bottom lip and slowly releases it before it returns to where it should be and it leaves you and your best friend trying not to smile like idiots.

You think it’s the alcohol and the fact that you’re both tired which makes you rest your forehead against his for the minute after. The fact that you’re so warm in his arms almost makes you want to continue, but when a loud car drives past the both of you end up moving away from each other.

Both of you don’t say anything after your kiss. You’re just grinning like it’s 2003 again and you make your way the now short distance back to your flat with your hand tightly holding his.

It takes around 5 minutes and before you head into your building, Alex stops and hugs you tightly. And you treasure it, but you’re getting cold now and you can practically hear your bed calling you.

You give your best friend a squeeze before instructing, “Come on.” and you take his hand again and step out of his hold to pull him towards the door.  

But Alex pulls you back towards him though and he shakes his head, “I’ll carry on walking.”

“You can stay here.” You tell him, and by the look on your face Alex knows that you won’t take no for an answer. But when he tries to argue with you, you smile and say words you’ve definitely said once before to him. You joke, “Mum’s not home, don’t worry.”

Alex smiles and his eyes brighten at the memory of that night, but he asks, “Thought you said we’re not reliving the past?”

“We’re not.” You chuckle, “But you’re staying here.”

After that Alex doesn’t argue with you at all. Within five minutes of you getting into your flat, the both of you climb into your bed and will sleep to come.

Because you’re cold, you cuddle up to your best friend and once you’re settled, you say, “Sweet dreams, Shakespeare.”

Alex smiles and holds you the tiniest bit closer to him, and he whispers, “Night, Angel.”

~*~*~*~ February 21st 2020 ~*~*~*~

“Good luck Bro.” You give Adam the biggest hug before you all get told to leave their dressing room.

You feel him give you a squeeze as he smiles, “Thanks B.” before letting you go so you can hug the other guys.

Ross comes over to you next after already giving Y/B/F a hug and you think you hear Alex wishing George luck for the show just before the bassist grins, “I’m so happy you’re here.” and he wraps his arms around you.

“Of course I’m here.” You say into his chest, and you crane your neck up to look at him and tell him sincerely, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world. I’m coming back tomorrow too, you know?”

“You better be doing,” Ross grins, “You’re my biggest cheerleader.”

“Ross, I saw a girl in a top that was covered with your face when we were on tour.” You laugh at the memory as you assure him, “You have an army of cheerleaders.”

Both of you laugh at that before you wish him luck and he lets you go. Moving straight on to hug gives your curly haired brunette a hug and of course Matty gives you one of the best hugs.

Or should you say your no longer curly haired brunette, because Matty has shaved the sides of his head and given himself a short haired mohawk. When you first saw him after he’d done it, you slapped his arm so hard because how dare he take away those luscious curls you love so much. Regardless though, you’re still here to support him tonight.

You wish him luck and he thanks you for it but he gives you the best news when he lets you go, “You know on tour when you asked me about that song that’s a bop but it isn’t about you and I wouldn’t let you listen?”

“Yeah.” You nod, remembering very well how much you pleaded to hear it.

On tour you were denied every opportunity to listen, but your luck seems to have changed because Matty confirms, “Well we’re playing it tonight.”

“No fucking way.” Your jaw drops and your excitement bubbles.

“Yep.” Matty nods, happy to see that you’ve now started grinning like a fool. He tells you, “You’ll know when it’s the one when you see TV screens come up as the visuals behind us.”

“Oh my god, okay.” You have to tell him, “I’m excited now.”

“You should be excited anyway.” Matty pulls you into another short hug so he can whisper, “Best band in the world remember.”

“Okay,” You nod, agreeing with him but only because the Monkeys aren’t currently on tour. “But don’t tell Alex.”

Both you and Matty snort in laughter then, but your best friend clearly hears his name so he wonders over to both you and Matty and he offers him a handshake.

Your best friends shake each other's hands as Alex smiles, “Good luck mate. Hope it goes well.”

“Thanks mate, keep her at the sound desk, yeah?” Matty jokingly adds with a grin, “Don’t want her, or you, to be mobbed and ruin my gig.”

Alex laughs but nods, “I’ll keep her in check.”

You giggle for a brief moment but it’s purely sarcastic because you tell them, “I think we all know that the only one who can keep me in check is George.”

“Yeah I am.” The drummer wraps you in a loving headlock and pulls you back into his chest then. And once you laugh a bit and settle against him, he kisses the side of your head and says, “Love you Baby.” as the room watches on.

“Love you too Georgie.” You tell him but the fact he wasn’t really meant to hear what you said leaves you a little embarrassed and your cheeks hot.

George sees the way Alex and Matty laugh at your reaction to him doing what he’s just done, so he’s fairly certain of the answer when he asks, “Is she all flustered?”

“You know she is.” Y/B/F answers for him as she comes to stand beside Alex.

“Okay,” You pat George’s arm so he will let you go, “I believe you have a set to get ready for.”

“You’re usually jumping in my arms not wanting to get out of them.” George whispers in your ear which makes your cheeks get unbelievably hotter.

You try to calm down before you dismiss him by whispering, “Hush.”

After George lets you go, you give him a proper hug before you say your goodbyes to everyone before the three of you decide to head down to the middle of the arena. Because you’re going down about 5 minutes before the boys head on stage their security is taking the three of you to the sound desk which is a little excessive because you think you’ll be fine.

But just as you’re about to leave the room, you hear Matty shout your name.

“Sweetheart.” Matty smiles when you pop your head back into the room. And you look at your guys smiling at you which makes you feel all gooey inside. Matty continues to tell you, “Before you go, we want you to know that there’s a surprise in the set tonight. It’s another new song of ours that you haven’t heard but it’s more the visuals behind it that we think you’ll like.”

“Okay,” You nod, and now you’re really excited for tonight's set. “Looking forward to it.”

“We love you B.” Adam smiles and the rest of them do too.

“Love you all too.” You blow them a kiss and wave goodbye before following Alex and Y/B/F down the hall.

~*~*~*~

As always their show is fucking amazing. The noise that they create in the O2 is pristine and George’s snare drum rips though the room like a gunshot, you can practically feel it, it sounds so good.

Whilst it was a little weird hearing your song, Sex, be played second instead of dead last, you were glad it was over and done with and you could enjoy the rest of the gig entirely care free. You’ve been having a laugh and dancing with Y/B/F and Alex for the first third of the set, and when Matty talks between songs you’ve all laughed along.

But this time Matty doesn’t speak between the last song and the new one. Instead, he has a drink whilst the lights dim a little again and you see the large LED screen behind him start to appear.

Y/B/F had gone to get you more drinks a minute ago so you have no one but Alex to scream to when you see a bunch of old TVs stacked on top of each other appear behind the band and a woman’s angelic vocals fill the room. You slap Alex’s arm a few times excitedly which has Alex’s head snapping towards you and wincing slightly.

He sounds almost offended when he clutches his arm and asks, “What was that for?”

But you’re too excited to notice, you’re practically buzzing with excited energy now. “This song isn’t about me! It’s new and I’m so excited to hear it.”

“How’d you know it’s not about you?” Alex questions, seeing the utter delight on your face and you’re unable to stop yourself from smiling.

“Matty said when the TV’s come up on the screen it’s the song that’s not about me.” You tell him and you get so excited as you hear the intro start.

And when the drums kick in you just know that this is going to be a hit. You’re already half dancing to it and you love it as soon as Matty starts singing, “I see her online… All the time.”

Alex enjoys the song and he’s smiling seeing you enjoying it too, but after Matty sings, “I’ve gotta see the girl on the screen.” his jaw almost drops at the boldness Matty has to release a song with lyrics like the chorus has.

“She said maybe I would like you better if you took off your clothes.” Matty sings and you almost scream.

“Oh my god!” You start dancing around as you watch the lyrics fill the screen behind the band and you love the sax parts. “This is fucking awesome!”

This song has barely started and it’s already made its way up to your top ten favourites of theirs. You’re dancing along as you watch and listen to Matty sing, ”I wanna see and stop thinking, if you’re too shy then let me, too shy then let me knowww!”

You can’t believe Matty is brave enough to release a song that you interpret as him basically being encouraged into having sex over facetime. You fucking love how brave and bold it is and the fact that it is such a good song, and one hell of a fucking bop, makes it even better. Matty could have a crowd singing about literally anything and he knows it and uses it to his advantage every time. And you adore that they all seem to be loving this new song just as much as his others.

“Are you sure this isn’t about you?” Alex makes you laugh by asking as soon as the chorus is finished.

“One hundred percent,” You nod, “I’ve never done that.”

And it makes you giggle again when a few seconds later Y/B/F comes back with three drinks, but she doesn’t even tell her to help you. Her eyes are just wide as she asks, “Is this about you?”

Once you assure her that it isn’t, you give the band your undivided attention again. The second verse is just as funny and honest as the chorus but from reading the lyrics behind them last time you’re dancing and singing along when it comes round again.

But the song has you grabbing Alex’s hand and making him dance with you when the sax solo hits. You’re having the best time and you giggle when Alex twirls you around and only when he dances with you do you let go of him and dance with Y/B/F.

After Waughy’s sax solo Matty has the room clapping in time and you three partake in that as well. You and Y/B/F are singing along and Alex can’t stop laughing at the fact you’re tipsy as well as enjoying probably the only song you’ll all hear tonight that isn’t about you.

When the song finishes, the room erupts and you start whooping and screaming in delight. You lift both hands in the air, your drink almost spilling out when you start jumping around for joy as the room is still loud.

“A song that isn’t about me!” You scream with pure and utter euphoria, “I fucking love it!”

You have both Alex and Y/B/F laughing at you but you couldn’t care less you’re so unbelievably happy.

The rest of the set is just as brilliant. But when you get to the other new song that the boys called you back into their dressing room to tell you about, this time you don’t dance, you listen and appreciate every single second of it. Especially after how your best friend on stage introduces it.

“Another new one for you now everyone.” Matty announces, and you can tell by the fact he’s got an acoustic guitar that this is a slow one. When the crowd cheers for them, you see Matty smile and say, “Thank you very much… I wrote this song about how lucky I am to have such beautiful friends.”

He has all your attention after that introduction, but when you see the screen light up behind him with home videos from when they were all younger that is all you can keep your eyes on. You smile seeing younger Matty with his glasses on and how young George looks and at Ross’ and Adam’s old hair. It brings old memories right back to the surface and makes your heart fill with love and adoration for each of them. You can’t believe how much they have all changed.

Before Matty even starts singing his new song, you see yourself in a snippet of a video from when you were younger. It’s of Matty playing guitar and you and George are sitting beside him, and you look rather bored which makes Alex and Y/B/F nudge you laughing a little.

“I was missing the guys, in my rented apartment.” Matty starts singing and immediately you feel all of the emotions start filling your chest as you continue watching the screen, “You would think I’d realised, but I didn’t for quite some time.”

You start seeing videos of them on their first tour and how happy they all seem and it makes you so unbelievably happy they continued with their home videos so they have this to show for it. You’re giggling every now and again too at them pissing about with each other and Matty and George in an airport waiting room makes you giggle.

But when you hear and see the lyrics to the chorus come up on the screen, a lump immediately forms in your throat. “The moment that you took my hand, was the best thing that ever happened. Yeah the moment that we started a band, was the best thing that ever happened.”

During the chorus, you see videos from the tour just gone and the one that you’d been on them with. The video of Matty and George laughing was one that you’d taken yourself and it makes you so happy to see something you captured in such a precious video. The one of George dancing in the doorway was one of yours too and you remember the day so well and how much it made you all laugh.

You’re truly going through it. Your emotions are through the fucking roof and you can’t hold it together anymore when you see an old video that you remember George taking of you and Matty that day at the fair which was practically your first date. And seeing the video of you with a missive smile as you’re pretending to be Sandy from Grease as you walked over the revolving floor with Matty grinning at you from behind has you tearing up. But when Matty sings, “Man, they were the golden times. They were the best of my life.” over it before going back into the chorus, that is when your tears start to fall.

You feel Y/B/F grab your free hand and she intertwines your fingers to offer you comfort and a few seconds later you feel Alex’s hand running up and down your back to do the same thing. But you can’t stop watching. Certainly not when you see small snippets of Adam and Y/B/F together and it has her holding your hand tighter.

Seeing George skating makes you cry even more and when it changes to an old video of first you and Matty but then all of you skating at the skatepark in Wilmslow, you don’t know how you don’t sob out loud. It’s even more difficult because Matty is singing the chorus at the same time, “And I wish that we could do it again, you guys are the best thing that ever happened to me.”

After this you see a video of Matty trying to do a kickflip in that stupid purple hat of his, which is another video you took on the american tour. And seeing them doing karaoke in Japan and looking so happy makes you cry even more. You’re the FaceTime call that Matty is holding his phone up for because you remember his drunken giggles down the phone as he was showing you what was happening.

When Matty continues singing, “You guys are the best thing that ever happened to me.” with other videos that make you laugh like George bowling, or other ones that make you cry because you're nostalgic like the clip of the Wilmslow sign at the train station.

But when a close up of you and Y/B/F laughing at the camera and with each other comes up you don’t know how you stop yourself from ugly crying. You clutch her hand so tightly and she does the same back, glancing at her you see that her eyes are fixed on the screen but she’s crying too. When you look back you see the camera zoom out to reveal Matty and Adam on either side of you.

The next clip of you and Adam being forced to get a picture together in your ugly Christmas jumpers from back when you were teenagers makes you laugh and cry all the same. But you do laugh some more when you see George and Matty jump into the video laughing, clearly ‘ruining’ it for your Aunt who would have been the one who forced the both of you to wear them.

You and Matty slow dancing at your Aunt and Uncle’s pops up next and you don’t know what is keeping you together at this point. Thankfully, it cuts back to a few different videos of the band again and there’s one of George and Matty asleep on a plane that makes you smile before a 2016 Matty with wild curls pops up to end the song and he’s filming himself in a mirror. This is the last thing you’re left with as the song fades out and it’s at this point you turn to Y/B/F and clutch her in the tightest hug.

A hug that lasts a long time because the both of you can’t stop crying. You even feel Alex wrap his arms around the both of you and he kisses the both of your heads and rubs your backs to try and make the both of you feel any better. You barely even register them moving onto the next song before you both hear Matty say, “That was for sixteen year old me, this one’s for sixteen year old you.”

The audacity Matty, but mostly Adam has (because you know he makes the setlists), to put Robbers right after this stunning new song about all of your friendship is really fucking rude. You don’t stop crying until well after Robbers has finished and you made Alex go and get both you and Y/B/F some tissues which he happily does for you.

You know that your mascara must be a mess but you don’t really care after that emotional rollercoaster. However, when the house lights go back up after Robbers, Y/B/F fixes your face and you fix hers. And you’re thankful that your nostalgic self kept it together for Fallingforyou and every song after that.

You truly don’t know what you would do without those boys on stage or your best friends who are currently by your sides, and you truly hope you never have to. Your heart is so full of love for all of your friends, you truly know just how blessed you are.

You don’t know what you would do without them. Spending time with your friends is what makes you happy and the thought of you ever having to spend a long time where you don’t have them all in your life makes you want to hold them and your memories of them closer. Each and every one of them is so precious.

The fact that you’re buddies with Ross, Nick, Jamie, and Matt. You’re flirty, but boarding on obsessive relationship with George. The fact that Y/B/F, Alex, and Matty are your best and closest friends in the world makes them the most important people in your life.

They are all your family. Your happy place. And you never want to find out what life is like without them and you’re thankful that you won’t ever have to.

~*~*~*~ March 7th 2020 ~*~*~*~

Being back up in Sheffield with everyone in Y/B/F and Charlie’s flat (your old one), makes you so unbelievably happy. And the fact everyone is here, including everyone's wives and girlfriends, bar Matt’s (you and Alex high fived after you were told she couldn’t make it), means that you just know you’re going to have the best night.

It’s been a long while since you all gathered here last, so you and Y/B/F intended on throwing this party to be one of your very best. And it’s been a really fun night.

Since Amanda wasn’t coming, of course you made sure Breana was and Miles had turned up a little later as a surprise. Everyone’s kids were with their grandparents so that meant that you all were drinking and could have a good laugh together.

Of course, you were doing strawberry shots with your boys and you and Y/B/F were really trying to persuade George to let the both of you do tequila body shots off of him but he was having none of it. It was probably for the best considering that Charlie was here and you know Matty would get a little grumpy over it but teasing Adam would have been funny.

You’re already a little tipsy when your phone starts ringing in your pocket and initially when you pick it up, you don’t notice that it’s your work phone. Something which you only realise after you’ve already pressed the green button so you cringe internally as you put your work voice on and you answer saying, “Hello, Y/N Y/L/N speaking.”

“Hi, um…” The man on the other end of the phone asks, “Is this Y/N Y/L/N who’s friends with Alex Turner and Arctic Monkeys.”  

Immediately, you roll your eyes as this has happened to you a few times. Considering you were talking to them before your phone rang, Y/B/F and Alex both have a questioning look as to why your face fell, and you mouth back to them, ‘A fan asking about Alex.’

Alex looks like he wants to apologise because he knows that this isn’t the first time it has happened to you, but you have dealt with it enough times to know what to do.

You just stay polite and just reason with whoever is on the other end of the line intending to cut the conversation as short as possible, “Hi, listen I don’t think it’s appropriate for fans to phone me up, especially on my work number. Yes, I know the music is good but he’s not with me twenty-four seven and I can’t get you free tickets to a gig.”

“Put it on speaker and mute yourself.” Y/B/F tells you just after hearing what you said a moment before.

You do as you’re told, but none of you predict what the guy on the phone says back, “Oh no, sorry, I’m not a fan at all. Not even in the slightest actually.”

Immediately the three of you are confused as to why whoever has contacted you, but thankfully they tell you, “I’m calling because I went to high school with you both.”

Your jaw drops at the same time as Y/B/F’s and you can’t tell if Alex is looking at your phone in slight disgust because whoever it is has said they’re not a fan of his music or because the whole phone call feels dodgy.

Unmuting for a second, you ask sceptically, “And what school was that?”

“Stocksbridge High School.” Your eyes widen when they get the answer right, “And we went to Sixth Form together too.”

You’re about to end the call as it feels like something they could google but then it gets a little too personal for them to actually be lying.

The guy goes on to say, “Y/B/F H/L/N is your best friend and your Mum's called Y/M/N and your Dad was called Y/D/N.”

And at this point you must have known them, because you don’t address your Mum as anything other than Mum on your instagram and she doesn’t have an account, nor has Adam or any of the other boys ever mentioned her name online. And fucking hell, you’ve never ever mentionned your Dad on anything and they said what his name was, meaning they know he’s not alive anymore.

You abruptly ask at this point, “I’m sorry who is this?”

“I’m surprised you don’t recognise my voice.” The person says and you genuinely have no idea so you keep silent. Which prompts the guy to announce, “It’s me, Peter… your ex boyfriend.”

You think everyone who has started listening in on this conversation is now wide eyed. And you can’t fucking believe it. You don’t know how you get out the almost sarcastic sounding, “Oh heyyy Peter.”

You mouth for your friends to shush as they have just started gasping and reminding or telling the ones who don’t know who he is. Y/B/F is looking at you like she can’t believe what she’s hearing and you’re just fucking amazed, and not in a good way.

Although, it is fucking hilarious you didn’t recognise his voice.

“Hey Y/N/N. How are you?”

“Not going to lie Peter, I’m a little shocked to hear from you.” You say whilst shaking your head completely blindsided by the call, you ask despite not exactly caring, “How are you?”

You just want to know why he’s calling and why he’s decided to do it after all these years. You’re genuinely so confused but also interested as to why.

‘Mute your phone’ Y/B/F mouths and you quickly do and the both of you say, “What the fuck!” so loudly at the exact same time.

“That’s the long term fucker who made you unhappy, isn’t it?” Matty asks, coming straight over to stand beside you as you barely listen to Peter going into depth as to what he currently does for a living, which none of you listening care about. Matty checks, “The one you were going out with when I kissed you?”

You confirm, “Yeah.”

Jamie scoffs, “He literally just said he didn’t like our music… What the fuck?”

“Unmute.” Y/B/F points back to your phone which has just gone silent and you quickly tap the microphone button.  

You have to know, “So what brings you my way, Peter?”

You know everyone in the room is eavesdropping when you hear the music being turned down most of the way and everyone’s eyebrows furrow when you all hear Peter say, “Oh I was wanting to catch up a bit.”

You almost laugh, but you just say a confused, “Right?” and it does sound like more of a question.  

“So…” Peter continues this awkward as fuck conversation, and you find it hard to believe that the last time you spoke to him was literally the day you broke up, and what’s on his mind is, “Your still friends with the band then?”

“Yeah,” You pretend as if they aren’t all around you as you say, “I see them sometimes.”

Alex smiles at that but it’s Matty that almost laughs at how bizarre this all is. Even Charlie looks confused and you don’t blame him.

“Oh right.” Peter seems surprised by this, and you only understand why when he continues to ask, “You and Alex had a thing, didn’t you? Thought you’d be closer than sometimes seeing them.”

You pull a face at that comment, and when you glance at Alex his eyes are narrowed at your phone too. It’s so fucking confusing to you as to why the fuck Peter is phoning and asking about Alex.

“They are busy people,” You say as if it’s obvious but then ask so you can gauge just how long your ex has been keeping an eye on you, “And when was this thing that you think happened between me and Alex?”

“Well you were always really close with him when we were going out,” Peter says, “So I wasn’t surprised when I saw you in magazines with him around the time AM came out.”

“Right, okay.” You want to laugh at this but you just look at Alex and mouth, ‘what the fuck?’

Especially when your ex continues to say, “And you were all over the papers, weren’t you? Because you'd been going out with that guy with the weird hair from the year band.”

You nudge Matty playfully at the fact he’d got a mention, and you correct Peter with a smile on your face as you really try and hold in your laugh, “You mean the 1975?”

Y/B/F and Alex are silently laughing at the ‘guy with the weird hair’ comment, but Peter makes it more difficult for you not to start laughing when he confirms who he’s talking about. “Yeah. That guy, you know with the floppy curly hair, seems like a bit of a slag.”

Both you and Matty scoff at the exact same time but thankfully it only sounds like one. You’re entirely offended when you ask, “Are you saying I went out with a slag?” whilst also running your hand over Matty’s mohawk whilst pouting to show you miss his floppy curls that your ex is mentioning.

“Oh well, I’m not saying he was with you. But he seemed to be after.” You say a silent, ‘wow’ before Peter continues, clearly has no boundaries as he asks, “Didn’t he get with that girl Alex went out with?”

Watching Y/B/F slap a hand over her mouth so she can’t laugh almost has you doing the same thing, especially when Matty mumbles, “For fucks sake, I’ve apologised time and time again. When will we let it go.” and he looks at Alex and says, “Sorry again mate.” and Alex smiles, saying it’s fine.

But you take your opportunity to tease Matty and sigh back to Peter, almost as if you’re still annoyed, “Well that is one of life’s big questions.”

Matty’s head snaps to yours and Y/B/F lets out a giggle and you have to mute so you can laugh out loud. You fully giggle and promise Matty, “I’m just joking, I don’t care.”

“Good.” Matty says, at the same time you hear Peter question what you just said, “What?”

“Nothing.” You unmute and dismiss him, “Just taking a trip down memory lane.”

“Oh I feel like I’m watching Jeremy Kyle.” George giggles from the corner of the room and when you look over him and Miles are sitting together trying not to burst out laughing.

You turn away because you will just break and laugh if you carry on watching them.  

Peter’s questions get weirder as he curiously asks, “How’d you end up with the guy from the 1975 anyway?”

“He’s in the band with my cousin.” You say bluntly, feeling like if he’s been stalking you as much to know when you went out with Matty and Alex he should know that.

But clearly Peter has no fucking clue because his next question is, “Which ones your cousin?”

You, Carly, Y/B/F, and George laugh the loudest at this. Adam looks so offended it makes it funnier and you’re glad you covered your phone’s microphone so your ex doesn’t hear you.

“The one that plays the guitar with short hair.” You laugh when you remind him, and it’s a dry statement when you say, “You met him Peter.”

You mute the call as Peter goes on with himself and all of you start talking about how fucking weird this whole interaction is. You make it clear to everyone that you haven’t spoken to this man since 2007 which is 12 years ago and you’ve not once tried to contact him.

They all think it sounds weird and dodgy and you genuinely think so too. Or that is until the true nature of the phone call ends up revealing itself. Because all of the awkward conversation finally makes sense when Peter asks, “So are you single now then?”

The clarity is magnificent. You’re his booty call.  

You humour him, “Yeah, I am.”

“Amazing, well I was wondering if you fancied meeting up?” Peter asks confidently, and he’s got absolutely no shame when he confirms, “Not to start anything back up properly but like maybe have a bit of fun, if you’re down?”

There it is. And it boosts your ego tenfold because this man has clearly been pining for over a decade which is fucking hilarious considering you broke up because you kissed Matty.

“Have you really gone to this much trouble to contact me to ask to shag again Peter?” You cringe internally, still not entirely believing this is happening.

Both Matty and Alex are laughing at you now and Y/B/F has had to hide into Charlie to keep her giggles at bay. And your heart melts at the way Charlie is grinning and holding her. Christ, they are so sickeningly cute, you love them so much.

“Well, you know how good together we were.” Peter continues to shoot his shot, “And what better than to meet back up and relive old times?”

You’ve never clenched in disgust so hard in your life. This man must be on drugs because he clearly remembers your relationship very differently.

“Fuck off, I can’t” You don’t even attempt to mute the phone at this point, you’re just laughing. And you shake your head when you sarcastically tell your ex, “Oh yeah, I really enjoyed the sex by the end of our relationship when you couldn’t even be bothered to make me finish.”

George is the one who loudly laughs at that and the others in the room follow suit. Matty and Alex look so enthused it makes you want to laugh properly, but you see that most other people’s jaws have dropped because they can’t believe you’ve just said that. And it surprises no one when Adam cringes and just heads to the kitchen to make himself seem busy so he can’t hear.

But then Peter tries to brush that comment off, “I don’t remember it like that.”

“Me and my hand got endless cramps after you fell asleep so I think I remember it just fine.” You shoot him down with brutal honesty, “You were shite at the end Peter, no I don’t want to sleep with you again, thank you.”  

And you’re about to hang up, but then you hear the most absurd question leave your ex’s mouth.

“Well do you think Y/B/F would be down?”

When you say you’ve never heard so many gasps fill a room before, you mean it. It was like Alex spilled your virginity secret all over again.

“Wait,” You genuinely laugh, not believing your ears.“So now I’ve said no, you want my best friend?”

Y/B/F’s jaw is dropped and you can’t look at her without a shocked smile coming to your face. You truly can’t believe this is happening.

“Well?” You can imagine Peter shrugging. “She’s fit.”

“I know she’s fit. And she’s good in bed too. But she’s not going to sleep with you Peter.” You voice has gone to a higher pitch at the audacity of his call. There’s dry sarcasm when you ask, “Do you know nothing about girl code?” because the answer is clear.

You see Matty and Alex mutter to each other, “This guy has gotta be kidding, right? Was he always this dim?” and Alex saying back, “He was never this fucking bad.”

“Wait, what? You’ve slept with Y/B/F?” Peter asks in disbelief.

“Yes.” You put it plain and simple for him.

But your eyes roll when he asks, “So you’re a lesbian now?”

“You know you don’t have to label things in life Peter.” Because why the fuck would you tell someone you’ve not seen for 12 years about your sexuality. “It’s not 2003 anymore,” You recall another memory which you wish you didn’t because of the can of worms it opens, “Me and her didn’t have to keep quiet when we shagged like I did at the beginning with you. It’s been over a decade Peter.”

“We really shouldn’t have done all that whilst my parents were in the house... At least we waited until they went out for your first time.” And when he says that, you and Alex look at each other and almost laugh.

You’re about to drop the bombshell of a lifetime.

“Peter. I need to tell you something because after this phone call, I don’t plan on speaking to you again.” You can’t get the smile off your face as you speak the truth, “In the interest of dying one day with a clear conscience, I need to tell you that you weren’t the first person I slept with.”

“What?” Peter is clearly confused which is understandable. “You said it was your first time.”

“I didn’t.” You shake your head, being honest, “I just didn’t correct you.”

He seems to be struggling to comprehend, because he stutters trying to wrap his brain around it before he ends up arguing the point, “But you were nervous?”

“I used to get nervous when I had to phone up to order a take out.” You frown thinking that’s really not a solid fact as to if you would have been a virgin when you first slept with him or not. “Of course I was nervous sleeping with you for the first time.”

Peter’s question makes everyone smile. “Well who was it then?”  

“I don’t think you want to know.” You grin at Alex at this point and everyone is finding this hilarious now. Eagerly awaiting Peter’s reaction to this new information.  

“Why?”

“Because you don’t seem to like him or his music…” You trail off and bite your lip as you smile at Alex who is silently chuckling.  

“Fuck off, you’re having a laugh.” Peter sounds so annoyed when he asks, “You and Alex?! Are you joking?!”

“There it is.” Matty laughs to Y/B/F and Charlie and she fully starts laughing into Charlie’s neck.

You confirm that you’re not joking, “No, I’m not.”

“But when we-” Peter starts.

But you interrupt before too many memories are, “Okay Peter, we don’t need to recap us shagging for the first time.”

And clearly this man has issues because after a decade has passed, his immediate reaction is anger and he accuses you straight away, “I fucking knew you liked him when you were with me.”

You wish that this wasn’t peak comedy so you could just hang up. But you're finding this slightly too funny.

“Did I? That’s interesting, how’d you get to that conclusion?” You have to ask because that’s the biggest load of bullshit you’ve ever heard.

You got with Peter when you were still hurt by how Alex had led you on a couple of months after you came back home and you didn’t get close with Alex again properly until you were both 19. And the reason you got close with him again was because you found out Joanna was cheating on him and you wanted to be a good friend to him and comfort him afterwards.

There was no overlap with liking Alex at all. Peter is chatting utter bollocks.

“You were always on the phone to him when he went away.” Is your ex’s apparent proof.  

“Do you not think that’s because he was on tour and I’m nosy and wanted to know who he’d met.” You dryly laugh, “He made friends with Lily Allen, Peter. Do you forget how much I listened to her? I was trying to snag that signed record.”

You laugh when Alex playfully pouts and mouth’s ‘sorry’ because it wasn’t something he ever got you.  

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You hear Peter ask when you tune back into him, “I was with you for four years.”

“It was three and a half at a push and we lasted a year longer than we should have Peter.” You correct him, “And it was a secret. I didn’t tell anyone about it for like ten years.”

And you’re about to force a goodbye so you can be done with the conversation but the dickhead on the other end of the phone clearly has no boundaries, as he asks with annoyance clear in his voice, “So what you just saw how good AM was doing and thought ‘oh I’ll relive old times’.”

Matty’s eyes go wide and he quietly says, “Oh shit.” as he sees anger fill your face.  

“Are you having a laugh?” You say dryly but seriously, “Peter, I fucking made the album cover. Like I did for Suck It And See too and all of their fucking logos before that. I went on the AM tour because I wasn’t working and they’re my friends.”

You don’t really know why you’re telling him this and defending yourself, because even if you did want to relive old times, you were entirely entitled to. Peter has no reason to be annoyed.

“Just a bonus you could shag Alex on the road then?” Peter sneers and you see red.

“Man’s got a death wish.” Miles says and George snorts with laughter. And everyone’s eyes go wide hearing what Peter said.

“Excuse me? Not that it’s any of your business, but I didn’t shag Alex on that tour at all.” You’re fuming when you ask, “Who do you actually think you’re speaking to?”

“Of fucking course.” Peter is clearly still putting pieces together because he sounds even more annoyed when he says, “Your house number was 505, I fucking knew I knew that number.”

If you weren’t fuming you would have probably heard Alex look at Matty and joke, “Wow, absolute mastermind on the phone only took thirteen years to figure that one out.” and Matty cackles.

“Yeah, he’s not very covert but Peter, just listen to me right now. Don’t ever fucking call this number again.” You put it very bluntly because you’re over this conversation now. “Y/B/F isn’t going to sleep with you because she’s got good taste in men and women. And quite frankly, my standards have improved a hell of a lot since I got with you.”

You think you hear Breana and Katie say, “Amen.” to that which makes Y/B/F laugh.

“Hint for you. Just being nice to someone doesn’t cut it anymore and trying to come for them over the phone doesn’t really work for a booty call.” And because you don’t give a single shit anymore, you tell him straight. “And, I’d like to tell you that both Alex and Matty have bigger dicks than you and are better in bed. I never actually had to fake it with them unlike I did half the time with you when you got tired and just got yourself off.”

You would laugh at Alex and Matty fist bumping each other, but you’re seething.

“So I hope you find someone with low standards to help you out.” You say but you truly don’t mean it. You are kind enough to tell him, “Tip for the future. Spend more than two seconds on the clit and just because they say they came doesn’t mean they did.”

Adam chose the wrong time to walk out of the kitchen because he immediately regrets his decision and George’s laugh echoes the loudest seeing his disgust and the way he immediately goes back into the kitchen makes it funnier. But you think he may have caught the end of you telling Peter, “A good meal and a vibrator is better than you ever were.”

Matty laughs so loud at that you decide to bring him into the conversation, “Also the whole of the 1975 say hello. Matty have anything you want to say?” You offer him the phone.

And he takes it with a big grin coming to his face. “Yeah, hiya. You’re a fucking twat and you didn’t deserve Y/N in the first place. Don’t worry though, I made up for what you couldn’t achieve so thanks for showing her real disappointment so I seemed so much better. Oh and in case you were wondering, it was me that she kissed back before you split up so thanks for being a shit enough boyfriend she wanted to get with me.”

And when you take your phone back, you look at Alex this time as you tell your ex, “Oh and funnily enough Arctic Monkeys happen to be here too. All of them pretty offended that you don’t like their music and Alex looks like he wants to throw my phone out the window because you’re still gabbering on.”

Which isn’t a lie, he looks fuming that Peter has spoken to you the way he has. You offer him the phone, “Alex?”

“Peter, you're not special mate. And you can hate me all you like but at the end of the day, at least I can make a woman finish.” Your best friend puts it plain and simple for your ex.

And you’ve had enough now, so you end the conversation with, “Oh and by the way Peter, I’ve been scorned before so if any of that was recorded to be sold on or even if someone else is listening now, you didn’t make it clear I was being recorded and you bet I can sue your arse along with both bands following me. Then you’ll end up in court, bankrupt, and in prison.”  

“Goodbye Peter. I’d say it’s been nice but that’d be a lie.” And when you end the call, absolutely seething, the room starts celebrating and whooping which makes you laugh.

You look at Y/B/F, Alex, and Matty and say, “Your all indirect sexual partners with that. Have fun with that information.”

After they all cringe, the night gets back underway. You make sure your work phone is turned off completely and you all have the best night together.

Later on in the night, all of you are tipsy at this point and you’ve been having the best chats and catch ups with everyone. You’re so bloody thankful that Alex and Matty seem to be getting on with each other like actual mates and it makes your life so much easier and better and you can chat with the both of them with absolutely no worries of an argument.

And it’s even funnier when George comes over and pulls you into his side and they both just end up rolling their eyes at you. You think that they are finally accepting you and George and you love that.

“We're playing that game now.” Y/B/F announces to the room. “Charlie planned it for us to get us even more lashed and the winner gets a present along with a bottle of spirits of their choice.”

“And everyone has to play, the only person not doing is Adam because he’s going to call out what he wants us to do.” Your best friend tells everyone before getting everyone in two lines and opposite another person.

Thankfully, no one argues and the game works well. It’s a game where you are paired together with a different person each round and it’s basically a game of simon says without saying simon says. But there's competition and an incentive to win because on the floor in the middle of each pair there is a small present wrapped up.

You’ve been told most of them are mock gifts and the real one will be given to the final two people playing and the winner can open it.

And you’re competitive when it comes to games you can win, so you’re ready for this. You try your very hardest to beat those who you’re up against.

First you’re up against Alex and you pray you win this one. The game starts when Adam makes you touch your heads, knees, shins, toes, and ears before he shouts, “Gift.” and everyone scrambles for the present on the floor in front of them. Each round gets half the people out every time and you’re thankful when you wave Alex off to the side lines because you got the gift before him.

The second round, you’re up against Matty. And once again it feels like you have to win and as soon as your cousin shouts “Gift.” you drop as fast as you can to the ground to get it before he does.

Thankfully, you do get it before him and you grin like a fool at Matty’s fake glare. But you just rub it in his face and tell him, “That’s what you get for cutting my curls off.”

“It was my hair.” Matty reminds you.

You remind him, “You’re my Curly, can’t call you that now, can I?”

“Yeah mohawk boy, step aside.” George tells him as he’s now who you’re playing in this round.

Being up against George makes you all the more competitive. But after you touch all the different body parts you’re told to, and then “Gift.” is shouted, you truly don’t know how George gets it before you. It was like he was already going for it before ‘gift’ was even announced.

Obviously, your loss makes you pout and you pretend to glare at George. You say, “I’m going to fight you later.” as you walk past him to stand with your other friends who are out.

George just turns and smirks as you stand beside Matty and Alex pretending to be grumpy still. But the drummer winks at you and says, “Oh yeah Baby, let's fight in your bedroom... I’m sure you’ll enjoy losing.”

And when you say that you don’t know how you didn’t fall to your knees for him right then and there, you truly don't know. The chokehold this man has on you is unmatched.

Matty sticks his middle finger up at George which has the drummer turning around laughing loudly. But then your best friends have something to say about it.

“Don’t get any ideas.” Matty tells you, but what really stops your heart is when Alex says, “I’m sure we’d rather offer you the threesome again before Matty lets you take what George is offering.” and Matty hums in agreement.

You have to close your eyes and rub your temples to try and get a grip of yourself. Your cheeks are so hot and you whisper to yourself, “So so many thoughts. They need to stop.”

Both men beside you hum in amusement and you try to focus on the rest of the game. George is up against Y/B/F and Charlie is up against one of his friends that he invited tonight. And you watch your best friend and soulmate intensely.

But when you watch them play, you notice that when ‘gift’ is shouted, George doesn’t even go for it. So as Y/B/F is celebrating and is about to go up against her boyfriend for the final round where Adam places the real wrapped up gift between them, you scorn the drummer.

“Did you just let her win?” You ask him.

George smiles and says, “I just wanted to beat you Baby, now come here.” and the drummer pulls you from being just in front of your other best friends and now your back is leaning against his chest.

“Oooo battle of the lovers now.” Jamie grins and you all smile at the cutest couple in the room.

And when their game starts you’re all cheering them on until Adam quiets you all down so they can hear his instructions. But you all cheer for Y/B/F when she’s the first to get to the present in the middle of the room.

Adam recorded the whole of that round so he captures the way Y/B/F’s face lights up when she wins. You encourage her to open the present as you asked her before what the prize was and she said that she had no idea because Charlie sorted out the game.

As you watch your best friend giving her undivided attention to the present she’s started to unwrap, you almost miss the way Charlie starts slowly dropping down to one knee. And just as you’re about to gasp, George’s hand comes over your mouth so you can’t ruin the surprise for her.

Y/B/F gets the wrapping paper off and it reveals a ring box. But only when she curiously opens it does she notice that her boyfriend is on one knee and she gasps and puts her hands over her mouth.

From where you’re standing, you can just about see the edges of Charlie’s mouth and you know he’s grinning like a fool.

“Y/B/F, you always said that you wanted this to happen surrounded by all your friends and everyones here… I love you so so much and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” He takes the ring box from her and opens it up to ask her, “Will you marry me?”

You’ve already teared up and your heart is so full as you watch your best friend nod and she drops to her own knees so she can excitedly kiss Charlie. Only then does George drop his hand from your mouth and you’re free to cry properly at the fact your best friend just got engaged.

Whilst Y/B/F is still having her moment with Charlie, you turn around to punch George in the chest and him, Alex, and Matty all laugh a little at your reaction. “You knew!” You cry at the drummer as you can tell from your other best friends' faces that they had no clue, like you.

“And I was told, make sure you get Y/N out and don’t let her ruin the surprise.” He tells you chuckling.

You giggle a little but you tear up even more because you’re so happy for them, and George pulls you into a hug to comfort you. Alex and Matty smile at your reaction but you can’t stop looking at the happy couple who are now standing up clutching each other tightly.

When you finally get to wrap your arms around Y/B/F, you cry, “I’m so unbelievably happy for you.”

“Thank you.” She’s a little teary eyed too as she clutches you just as tight. “Did you know?”

“No,” You shake your head, but joke, “And I think it’s a little rude he didn’t ask for my blessing.”

The both of you cry as you giggle then, and you turn the both of you so you can see Charlie being congratulated by Alex, Matty and George when you say your next sentence.

“How have we gone from me and Alex walking in on you two shagging on that sofa to this?” You embarrass Charlie by asking.  

The laugh you all let out though is infectious, and you all spend the rest of the night celebrating the happy couples engagement. You can’t describe your happiness enough.

Everything is perfect. Your life is perfect. You have the best friends in the world around you and you’re so beyond thankful to have each of them in your life.

You’re most certainly at your happiest when you’re in the company of your friends and it’s unfortunate to find out that you’ve always taken that for granted. Because everything is about to change.

~*~*~*~ June 1st 2020 ~*~*~*~

March 23rd was the day that the UK went into lockdown and life as you all knew it stopped for the foreseeable future. Covid hit the country and right now, you don’t know if there will ever be an end to it.

Lockdown rules meant that all of your friends' work stopped but yours, as you already worked from home. But you all had never been confined to your homes before now.

It was law not to mix with any other households, and you were restricted to an hour of outdoor exercise each day on top of a whole other bunch of rules. The prospect of not seeing anyone for so long hurts like a bitch and watching the Prime Minister tell you that the county was basically shutting down scared you a lot.

This pandemic has scared you a lot because Charlie is at the front line and that’s really fucking dangerous and it panics you just thinking about it. You truly don’t know how Y/B/F is coping with the fear of him potentially catching it because you can’t imagine the love of your life being put at risk every day.

You know that Y/B/F has been having a hard time of it because she’s just had to move out from the flat and she’s staying with her parents for the foreseeable future because after a chat between her and Charlie they decided it would be safer and less stress inducing for Charlie himself if he was in the flat on his own. That way he didn’t have to worry about potentially passing the virus onto her.

You’d offered for Y/B/F to drive down to London and stay in your flat because you were alone and haven’t seen anyone for months. You’re being so safe with everything but you understand that she wanted to stay up North just in case Charlie needed her.

Clapping for a few minutes every Thursday evening really didn’t feel like enough for everything he and his colleagues working in the NHS are doing to save people’s lives. And it upsets you so much that this should be such a happy time for your best friend and Charlie to start planning their wedding but everything has obviously stopped and almost every day Charlie is seeing people die from this horrible disease.

At first, you tried to take the positives out of being confined indoors, or what positives you could take from a global pandemic. You tried to think of it as a way for you to focus entirely on your art and make the most of the time you could concentrate on it.

In the beginning of the pandemic, you finished all of your custom pieces that people had ordered a while ago and once you got them all shipped out, you endeavoured to continue with your next collection of pieces for your gallery. But after a while all of your motivation died a slow death.

Friends have been keeping in contact, and all of you do a Zoom quiz every week to have a laugh with each other as best you can. But it’s not the same as it was. Nothing is the same anymore.

Recently, you haven't been doing too well.

All motivation to work has gone entirely and most nights this week you’ve been crying yourself to sleep at the sheer heartbreak of not being able to see your family or your friends. In the day, you’ve FaceTimed everyone almost obsessively to make sure they are alright and they are doing okay, so much so it leaves you a little paranoid if someone doesn’t text you back within 10 minutes.

You know people have it a lot harder than you do, and you’re grateful that everyone you know is relatively safe. But your mental health is taking a dramatic decline and you don’t know what else you can do.

You’re tried everything you’re allowed to. Hour long walks in the London parks is what you’re limited to but it doesn’t give you any comfort like your spot in the park back in High Green does.

You’re really struggling and tonight it’s hit its peak. You really can’t do this shit anymore. You’ve been on your own for months and you haven’t had the simple pleasure of a hug in such a long time, you realise just how you’ve taken everything for granted with your friends up until now.

It’s almost 1am and you’ve been crying for the past few hours and you’ve only just calmed yourself down enough to even see your phone properly, because you know what you need to do to avoid getting any worse. It may be against the rules, but you’ve been isolating for months and you don’t think isolating with another person who has also been doing the exact same thing will get you into trouble. Especially when you know that doing this will save your mental health.

So you calm yourself down enough to make the phone call.

You call the man who you truly think you can’t go another day without seeing. The man who has wormed his way so deep into your heart that he’s the most important person in your life and you don’t want to go another second without him being by your side.

It’s not long before your phone stops ringing and you hear his voice and it hits you like a breath of fresh air, his tired voice says down your phone, “Hello.” and you feel bad that you’ve clearly just woken him up.

“Hey.” You just about get out, as you want to cry from just hearing his voice.

He knows you so well that he can hear from just your greeting that you’re upset. He doesn’t hesitate to ask, “What’s wrong?”

The tears fall unwillingly, and you sniffle a little as you try and take a few breaths to stop yourself from crying more. But it gets harder when you hear him call you by the nickname he has for you, and you know just from the way it lightens your heavy heart that you’ve made the right decision.

After wiping your tears, your voice is full of emotion as you ask, “Can I please come and stay with you?”

“I’m on my way.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: Can you believe that’s almost it? I’m very emotional, how about you? Who are you picking? I’ll probably ask you when we get to the two endings which you choose too but I’m so keen to know. What did you think of the last chapter? Did you cry? How are we feeling? Sobbing for Charlie and Bestie, I love them so much. Who are we wanting Wheels to be endgame with????

Thank you all so much for reading!

Taglist: @psychkunox​​​​​​ @sofiaaraee​​​​​​ @thewheeler​​ @cold-hands-cold-eyesss​​​​​​ @xovalliegirlxo​​​​​​ @vroboat​​​​​​ @hoodskillerqueen​​​​​​ @woahhealy​​​​​​ @emmaheg1005 @belledawnidk​​​​​​ @elen-alambil​​​​​​ @megann-duff​​​ @alexsvacuumcleaner​​​​​​ @bshelley322​​​​​​ @g0thwat3rr​​​​​​ @cassieinnit​​​​​​ @ohmyolympusssywp​​ @filling-thevoid​​​​​ @xqueenkt​​​​​​ @indierock4ever @amturners​​​​​​ @alovesreading​​​​​​​

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[nriacc]

I Wanna Be Yours | NRIACC: Alex’s Ending |

Nothing Revealed In A Common Crisis

Written by @imagine-that-100​​

Description: | Here |

Word Count: 25.2k

Warnings: This series contains mature content and themes throughout

A/N: Hey besties! I can’t believe this is it. We actually got to the end! Thank you so so so much for sticking with me whilst I got this fic out, I am truly so so happy that people are still reading almost 2 years after I posted the first part. It really is mindblowing to me. I’ve got a few people I need to thank, dot for helping me plan a lot of the fic and for helping write chap 8, @murderousginger​ and @sunsetinmyvein​ for editing for me. A really really big thank you is going to @red---moon​ and @alovesreading​, I genuinely don’t think this fic would have ever got finished if I didn’t have you two for me to mindlessly rant to about it and giving me ideas and keeping me motivated (Red also gave me the idea for the arielle stuff back on the AM tour and A gave me the idea of the whole pauline storyline so you can blame them for that loolllll love you both). To the rest of you, the ones who have been reading for a longgg time, you deserve a medal, your asks and reactions have really kept me going so thank you so so so much, and if you’ve recently had a binge I really hope you enjoyed the rollercoaster of a fic. NRIACC really feels like my baby and I’m never going to write a mashup of worlds like this again, so thank you all so so much for reading and enjoying it. I'll be forever grateful for the love you’ve shown it. Now, I’ve kept you waiting long enough, I really hope you enjoy Wheels and her man's happy ending. Love you lots and enjoy x

Please let me know | Here | who’s ending you’re all choosing! (It’s all anonymous)

| Series Masterlist | N’s Masterlist | NRIACC Playlists | The Band’s Info | Read on Wattpad | Read on AO3 |

~*~*~*~ June 2020 ~*~*~*~

That night Alex came to get you was a turning point for you. You found this new way of living extremely less difficult with your best friend by your side.

When he got to your flat that night, he held you whilst you cried and he didn’t let you go until your tears dried up and he got you smiling again. You're sure it was the relief to be back in his arms that made you get more upset when he arrived.

It must have been the silent longing for him for those 3 months alone that had you not wanting to let go of him. It was a miracle you released him so he could help you pack up a few of your things to take to Alex’s house with you.

Your best friend assured you that you could both come back and grab more of your stuff at a later date but he wanted to get you back to his house so you could be comfortable. And that night he remembers you clutching him so tightly when he practically carried you into his bedroom and you held him even in your sleep.

That was the only night you slept in his bed, but you did have a lot of quiet cuddles every day where you just held him close and didn’t let him go. The only time you left him alone was when you both went to bed and even then Alex was sure that you weren’t having an easy time trying to sleep.

At the start you were quieter and you didn’t smile anywhere near as much as Alex was used to. You spent a lot of time sleeping or just lying in bed staring into space and it worried Alex so much, he ended up doing what you once did to him. He made you go on a walk with him.

Your best friend wouldn’t tell you where you were going and he found it amusing as you tried your best to pry it out of him but he refused. But your afternoon out in the boiling sun turned out to be one of your favourite days this year.

Alex took the both of you into his local shop so you could both get a meal deal and a few snacks and treats before he walked you to a specific spot in his local park. And he was right in thinking you’d love it. Your face lit up when you saw the huge cherry blossom tree and the both of you had your impromptu picnic underneath it before spending the next few hours there.

You finally got your smile back that day and Alex was so thankful to see it. And since he had seen a slow but steady improvement in you every day.

The morning after your picnic, Alex came downstairs to find you sitting at the dining room table and you were drawing again. Nothing had ever warmed his heart more, and he didn’t want to distract you at all so all he did was quickly go to the kitchen and make you a cup of coffee.

When he brought it to you, he placed a kiss on the back of your head and he sat down beside you and watched you work. He was so enamoured by you, he could have carried on watching you for hours, but instead he went and made the both of you a nice breakfast.

And since then, you always started your morning that way. You finally got your spark back and you started to feel so much better in yourself, and you owed that all to Alex.

Days were happier and somehow easier for you in this weird time of self isolation but when you snuggled into your best friend's arms every night whilst you watched a film on the settee, you knew you’d be okay. You’d always be okay as long as Alex was there to comfort you.

~*~*~*~

Since you actually got inspired to be creative again, you and Alex ventured back to your flat to grab a few of your painting and drawing stuff and you’ve been feeling more like your old self again. And now a few weeks have passed, you’ve almost run out of room with how much stuff you’ve been making, you’re definitely going to have to make a trip back to your flat to leave some stuff there so Alex can have his house back.

Not that you intend to leave because you really don’t. You don’t want to be anywhere else than by your best friend's side.

You think that in the last few weeks, you and Alex have been closer than you ever have been, in a platonic way anyway. Although, your feelings towards him really aren’t all that platonic anymore.

There had been a lot of flirty banter between the two of you since you started living together, and each time it happened it left you with the feeling of butterflies in your stomach and your cheeks heating up. You always tried to bite your cheek to stop yourself from smiling like a fucking idiot when he flirts with you.

It sometimes makes it difficult if you’re cuddling on the settee under the same blanket because all you want to do is hide under it and grin like a lunatic. But you can’t because you don’t want him to know just how much he affects you.

And the only reason you didn’t want to put it all out in the open was because you were worried about what Alex would think. You weren’t sure if he was flirting with you because that's just how the two of you act around each other or because he is actively flirting.

So you’d kept your feelings to yourself for a while in hopes that you’d get some sort of sign. But last night when you got in the bed in his guest room instead of creeping into Alex’s like you so desperately want to, you decided you’d tell your best friend at some point the next day.

The both of you had let yourselves lose your brief moments in time together because you didn’t communicate properly. And you’re grown up enough now not to let that happen again. So you decided in bed that you were going to tell your best friend about your feelings for him.

And when you woke up this morning, knowing that at some point today you were going to tell him made you feel lighter somehow. Yes you’re nervous, but if worse comes to worst and he actually doesn’t like you that way anymore at least you’ve told your truth. And you’ll live the rest of your life knowing you did give it one last shot.

The hardest part of today has been not knowing when to bring it up, because you can’t really just say it out of the blue. It didn’t feel right. You didn’t want it to be an ‘i need to talk to you moment’, you wanted it to be an anxious free and healthy reveal of something instead of causing him to get anxious and possibly awkward with you.

But it looks like you might have to resort to that, because no conversation has taken any of that direction today. Alex has been reading for most of the day and you decided to paint some more as the both of you listened to music. Nothing sparked that sort of conversation though even over dinner so you just tried to stay calm and positive about it.

Now it’s the evening though and both of you got so wrapped up in your little words that you’d missed tea and it was too late for you to cook. So, you ordered yourselves a take out so you could chill out whilst you watched Glastonbury reruns, as the festival was obviously cancelled this year.

You watched Adele’s the night before and you both really enjoyed that. And now, after you both finished your food, you’re sitting next to each other as you polish off a bottle of wine between you, all while singing along and having a blast.

You’d just finished watching David Bowie's set from 2000 and you’d been waiting for Ed Sheeran’s headline set to start, and when it did you were both enthralled.

You have your legs over Alex’s lap and you're both resting your heads back against the settee aimlessly watching Ed’s magic that he makes on guitar. And your heart is warm by the way Alex's hand keeps running soothingly up and down your legs.

Ed has just finished his medley of songs and it’s so fucking amazing to you how he does all of what he does on a guitar and his loop pedals.

“God, he’s so amazing.” You say as your shiver slightly hearing the applause. “I’ve got proper goosebumps watching him.”

“Not you again with the goosebumps.” Alex chuckles a little and shakes his head.

“Look at my arms.” You smile and show him your arm which like you said, your skin is raised and full of goosebumps.

“You need to get a grip.” Alex smiles playfully and shoves your arm back.

You fake a frown and tell your best friend in half a giggle, “Don’t be nasty. I was like that for both of your sets.”

“Mmmm,” Alex thinks about it for a moment but ultimately he shakes his head, “Don’t believe you.”

“Well you know what Alex, I couldn’t just interrupt your set by running on stage to show you.” You laugh and you love the way he grins back at you. You also add, “And if they put your full one on from 2013 on iPlayer I would show you, but no BBC are dickheads.”

“Yeah, well,” Your best friend chuckles but defends, “I can't really say much, they have given us a pretty good platform in the past.”

“You're allowed to slag people off in private Alex, who am I gunna tell?” You grin, paying attention to only his bright eyes and his goofy smile.

Your best friend laughs, “Alright, alright.”

The both of you start watching the performance again and Ed’s just started singing Photograph which is one of your favourites. You both listen for a while but when it gets to the chorus you shiver again hearing everyone in the crowd sing the lyrics back to him.

And you can’t stop the question from leaving your lips to the man next to you who knows exactly what it’s like.

“Is there any way to describe that feeling?” You have to ask, because you remember being astounded hearing the crowd singing back to Alex at his Glastonbury. “Or is it as magical as it looks?”

You tilt your head to the side to look at him. Alex takes a deep breath as he thinks back to it and you watch him patiently as he finds his words.

“It's the best experience ever.” Alex looks at you and tells you honestly, “Nothing like it and I don’t think anything could ever beat it.”

You smile at that and it warms your heart.

“I’m so proud of you.” You quietly say, grabbing his hand that lay unmoving on your thigh

“Only just now?” Alex teases, lacing your fingers together.

You playfully glare at him then and nudge him, correcting him, “You know I’ve always been proud of you.”

Alex tries to hide his smile but he fails miserably and nods, “Yeah, I do.”

Instead of paying attention to the TV, you look at each other with smiles on your faces and you end up watching each other like that for a short while.

But then the both of you feel it. That pull between you again. The one that’s been happening every night you’ve been cuddled together. Or when the both of you are cooking together. Or go out on walks together. There’s always that spark and that pull between you, but this time you can’t ignore it.

You're both just listening to the music in the background and enjoying your view of the others resting on the settee looking into beautiful eyes.

You close your eyes and release a breath which Alex watches you do. He can’t help but think it’s like you’re mentally preparing yourself for something.

Your eyes open back up and you bite your lip for a second before almost whispering “Can I kiss you?”

That isn’t what Alex was expecting you to say at all. But he doesn’t hesitate like the first time you’d ever asked him that question, instead he just nods and watches you closely.

You pick your head up from the settee and slowly move towards him before you attach your lips to his. Despite your lips tingling the second they touch his, you know that this is just something to test the waters for a few seconds.

You can tell Alex isn’t really putting himself forward for it which you understand. He wants to see how you'd react to it.

The kiss starts slow as you really don't want to rush it at all. You aren’t after what you were last year. You’re so far past the need for him in just that sense. You just want to see if there truly is still a connection between you.

You need to know if it’s just your mind playing tricks on you or if it’s actually real feelings towards him. And from the way your heart is rapidly beating in your chest, you can tell they are genuine feelings.

Alex kisses you back with as much enthusiasm as you give, but he makes a conscious effort not to pull you to him when he’s wanting more. He needs you to direct this, for his own clarity.

And he’s thankful you are doing, because you cup the side of his face and pull him closer to you as you deepen the kiss. You feel like you’re trying to get all of your emotions out in this kiss, like you’re trying to tell him something without actually telling him.

And Alex definitely is reciprocating. After a few minutes, both of your breathing becomes laboured. You’re both so into it that it shocks you when Alex pulls away, both of you breathing hard and hearts beating rapidly.

Alex’s brain is going haywire, he’s surprised you can’t hear it screaming at him. But his biggest insecurity is the first thing that comes out of his mouth.

Your best friend runs a hand through his hair as he looks like he’s fighting with his own mind when he looks into your eyes and says quietly, “I can’t do this if you’re gunna go back to him.

You shake your head, your chest sinking at the mere thought that Alex would even think that. But at the same time you understand, so you don’t hesitate to assure him.

“I don’t want him like that,” You promise him, as you really haven’t thought about Matty like that for a long time. “He’s just my best friend.”

Alex looks stressed as he reminds you, “I’m just your best friend.”

“No,” You state simply, “You’re not.”

And he hasn’t been for a long time. There’s always been that ache in your chest that has you wanting something more with Alex. And you wish you could let him feel exactly what you’re feeling to show him.

Your best friend is clearly shocked and he almost looks like he’s trying to wake himself up from a dream. He can’t believe his ears or believe that you just kissed him again.

“I can’t do this if it’s only a one night thing either. Don’t get me wrong, last time was amazing but we shouldn’t have done it. It just made me more attached.” Alex rambles on, getting all of his thoughts and feelings out into the open. “I don’t want you as some now and again girl. That’s not what you are to me.”

“I like you Al. A lot.” You cup his face to try and ground him to the moment and you smile as you spill your truth, “Like you hurt to think about. And even after everything I can’t get you out of my head.”

Your best friend loses his breath when he hears you say that. And he can’t help but repeat what he thinks he heard you say, “You like me?”

“Yeah.” You nod.

Alex looks like he wants to cry when he quietly asks you, “You like me how I like you?”

“I’m fairly certain that I love you Alex.” You grin, putting it all out there for him.

Some mixture of relief and shock floods Alex’s whole system then and you see it hit him. He holds his breath for a few seconds and he has to close his eyes and he’s holding your hand so tightly, you don’t even think he’s aware he has a hold of you.

When you see those beautiful brown eyes of his again a second later, you see him try and fail to find his words as emotions run through him. But then you see his lips turn up into a smile and he begins to stutter, “I- I, wow. I l-“

And you know what he’s about to say but you quickly put your finger over his lips to stop him.

“If you're about to say it because I just have, please don’t. Save it until you mean it, until you really want to say it.” You smile, but it’s like you’ve just got everything off your chest, you feel free saying them out loud, “I just can’t hold it anymore, I’m sick of hiding it now.”

Alex chuckles and you’re sure his eyes are getting a little watery but you can’t tell if it’s just pure and utter joy and elation that’s making him look like that. He takes another few deep breaths and it’s as if his throat has choked up and he’s trying not to cry.

You realise that’s exactly the case when he quietly asks you with a strained voice, “Me? Are you sure?”

You grin and nod, “It's always been you, Alex.”

You briefly see your best friends smile before your lips are brought down to meet it. Both of you can’t really stop smiling as you kiss each other, which is funny and cute all at the same time. You feel like you could burst with the happiness that you’re feeling, but the fact that Alex is kissing you like you could disappear at any moment, makes you think that he might not be fully believing it's happening.

The past is clearly playing on his mind, because when you pull away from the sweet kiss he lets those final insecurities out.

“How can you possibly want something with me after everything I’ve said and done?” He asks you after you pull away.

He’s still emotional, you can see it and hear it in his voice and you want nothing more than to ease his worries. You’ll do everything in your power to show him just how serious you are though, and you’ll happily spend the rest of your life doing it if he wants the same.

“A relationship is just two imperfect people refusing to give up on each other. And I’m not ready to give up on you Al.” You smile as you gently stroke his cheek, “I won’t ever give up on you if you won’t give up on me.”

Alex smiles at that, and he moves his head to the side to kiss your palm before he says a quiet, “Never.” and that has you melting.

“This is it for me.” You promise him, “If you want this, I’m all in. I’m all yours. I’m going to marry you one day.”

Your smile is practically lighting up the whole room for Alex. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen you so happy and he can’t believe that he’s the cause of it. Alex smiles and chuckles in disbelief, he’s still not fully sure he’s not dreaming. But he just has to ask you one last time, “Are you sure you want this?”

“More than anything.” You nod, giving him the briefest kiss before you tell him again, “I love you.”

Alex grins at that but then he brings his hands up to hide his face and he whispers, “I think I’m going to cry.”

You chuckle, “Don’t cry.” as you pull his hands down so you can see his handsome face again, but when you do you see there’s actual tears in his eyes. “Darling don't cry…” but then he closes his eyes so you can’t see so you tell him, “Shakespeare, look at me.”

When he opens his gorgeous eyes again, you see that they have fully teared up now which makes you want to cry too. “No, stop with the tears, you’ll get me going.”

“All I’ve wanted for so long was to hear you say that you love me.” Alex’s voice cracks at the end of that and he barely gets out, “And you just said it.”

You nod, “Yeah, I did,”

He must tune back into your surroundings for a second because he then gestures towards the TV and laughs as he shakes his head, “And Ed fucking Sheeran is on in the background.”

You giggle at this, nodding as you realise that the end of him playing Nancy Mulligan is on in the background. This really isn’t how you imagined this moment playing out at all, but you’re so happy, you don't really care.

You just laugh, confirming, “Ed Sheeran’s on in the background.”

Alex reaches forwards and holds your face then, both hands cupping your cheeks and he gently strokes them with his thumbs as he tries to take in the moment properly. “Can you say it again?” He asks quietly as a tear falls, “Please.”

You have the biggest grin on your face as you tell him, “I love you, Alex.”

His whole face lights up with the sweetest and most innocent smile then. One that’s overcome with so much adoration and joy, it warms your soul. And when you see him go to say it back, you stop him, “I-“

“No,” You put your finger over his lips, “Don’t tell me today.”

He frowns at you a little then, “But I lo-”

You stop him again, already knowing he wants to say it back and in your heart you know he probably wants to scream it at you, but you want him to tell you when he can’t hold it back any longer, like you’ve been like today. You nod as you smile, “I know, but don’t tell me today. Tell me when you desperately want to tell me.”

“I’m desperate now.” Alex laughs a little, feeling his chest burst with the emotions you’re telling him he’s not allowed to get out just yet.

“I know, but please tell me on a day when it overwhelms you so much it hurts not to tell me.” You ask him, in hopes that he could do it. You explain, “That’s how I’ve been feeling for days. I had to tell you today.”

“You’ve wanted to tell me all day and you’ve waited till now? Christ Angel, it’s almost midnight.” He laughs, and his grin is so big that you’re trying your best to take a mental picture of how gorgeous he looks right now. He strokes your cheek as he asks, “What games are you playing?”

“Absolutely none,” You laugh, “I just love you and I needed to tell you.”

Alex giggles at that, still not fully believing he’s wide awake and this is real life. He’s so beyond happy, he really doesn’t have the words to tell you, especially if you won’t let him say it back just yet.

So your best friend does the one thing that he knows that after what’s just been said, you won’t deny him. He pleads with the biggest smile on his face, “Kiss me?”

You chuckle before you ask, “Thought I was the one that asks that?”

“If you’re mine, you don’t need to ask anymore, Angel.” Alex grins.

“I’m all yours, Shakespeare.” You promise him before you kiss him again.

This kiss feels like it seals the deal. It’s your confirmation that you’re his and he’s yours and your heart is bursting with all the love you have for him and the elation you’re feeling that he wants to give you another go.

You’re feeling euphoric and you know from the way Alex is pouring his heart into this kiss that he is too. He’s still holding your face so that you couldn’t even escape it if you tried, you know he needs this just as much as you.

You’re unsure if you’re only kissing for a few minutes, or if ten end up passing. All you know is that you’re so in love with your best friend, who has quite possibly just become your boyfriend, that you never really wanted it to end. And just when you thought it was about to, Alex bites your bottom lip and brings you back in for another one because he really can’t let you go just yet.

It makes you shiver like it has done every time he’s ever done it, but you knew that was another little nod back to the first time he’d ever done it. You’re thankful he’s always remembered how much you love it and you fully intend to let him kiss you and bite your lip whenever he wants from now on.

Even when your kiss did come to an end, the moment didn’t.

Foreheads resting against each other whilst both of you let your grins free. Your noses playfully nudging the others back and forth in cute eskimo kisses has you quietly giggling, and you keep whispering to your best friend that you love him.

It’s certainly the best night of Alex’s life, and he can’t wait until you let him say it back to you because he is dying to. He loves you so much. And he’s let that love slowly consume him again every moment you’ve had together since that night he came back to you. And he never ever wants to let you go again.

Even when you finally put each other down, you cuddle yourself right into him and Alex holds you tightly and every few seconds he’s kissing your head. Both of you are only half listening to the end of the 2017 Glastonbury set now because you’re just too focused on the mutual love you have for one another and how it feels like it could pour out of your chests.

But one song does grab both of your attention, and it’s when Alex takes your hand as he hears you humming along to the tune of Ed singing, ‘Now I have met an Angel in person, and she looks perfect, I don’t deserve it but she looks perfect tonight.’ that Alex lets out a short laugh.

You look up at your best friend as he sighs as he gestures to the TV, “That’s gunna be our wedding song now and we’ll be the most basic couple on earth.”

That makes you burst out laughing despite it now probably being true. It’s a stunning song and it says Angel in it, and now it’ll always remind you of tonight. But you’re just grinning like a fool because he’s practically said that he wants to marry you.

You lean up to kiss him again and you whisper against his lips, “I love you Shakespeare.” and he hums the words back to you as he kisses you which has your heart melting.

You love each other with so much of your hearts that none is left to protest.

~*~*~*~

Much to Alex’s dismay, you’ve still not let him tell you that he loves you yet and it’s almost been a week. It’s on the tip of his tongue and you seem to know every time he’s about to say tell you and you stop him from doing so. The only time he’s managed to get it out without you stopping him is when you’re asleep and he has half a mind to wake you up just to tell you.

But he gets why you want him to wait to say it. He remembers that tragic day after the night he got drunk years ago where he just needed to tell you that he loved you so he could try and fix things between you. He couldn’t get the words off his tongue like you couldn’t the night you told him, but thankfully the context was extremely different this time.

And Alex has no intentions to fuck things up between you ever again. The morning after you told him you loved him, you both talked a little bit and you decided there and then that you were official. You’re finally his girlfriend, and Alex is so beyond happy he can call his angel his own.

Truthfully, neither of you have ever been happier despite the fact you’re in the middle of a pandemic. The days together and finally getting to be how you’ve desperately wanted to be with each other really make everything better. You have each other now and you’re never going back to how it was before.

It was always going to be impossible for the two of you to just be best friends. There’s always been something more. And now you get to experience and live whatever that something more brings you both, and Alex will forever be thankful that you made the move to tell him you loved him.

Each day since, you’ve been so happy. He loves seeing you smiling and being all bright eyed and creative. It’s one of the things he really loves about you, and he can’t wait to tell you each and every way he loves you when you finally let him say it back.

Alex woke up alone this morning, which isn’t an issue but it’s the first time since you got back together that you haven’t had a lie in with him. But your best friend, now boyfriend, knows you’re an early riser and he can’t have you tucked away in bed all the time like he wants.

He’s just glad he woke up a little earlier sometimes and got to cuddle you whilst you were still half asleep.

Alex doesn’t have to worry at all as he knows you’ve not gone too far because he can hear the music you're playing downstairs. So because he’s that much of a simp and can’t spend a long time without you these days, he quickly gets himself washed and dressed before he comes downstairs.

The instant he sees you, there’s a smile on his face and it just gets bigger as he sees you dancing to the riff of the song you have on as you cook. When you finish singing the chorus, Alex watches as you dance to the instrumental part of the song and when the drums kick back in you start jumping around having a really good time.

He can’t stop himself from watching you and grinning. But just before the song kicks back in, Alex makes his presence known and he says over the music, “Morning Angel.”

You spin around to see him leaning against the wall with a grin on his face, clearly having a great time watching you. But then the lyrics come back and you point at him and start singing the song to him, “You look so cool, standing there.”

You walk towards him quickly, the smile sticking on your face now as you hook your finger into his belt loops and pull him towards you, “With your baggy jeans,” and you run your hands up through his hair, “And silky hair.”

Both of you grinning at each other, you wrap both your arms around his neck and carry on singing, “We can live for nothing baby, I don't care. Lose me like the ocean, feel the motion.”

And you make him move to the beat of the music as you sing the chorus to him at the top of your lungs after you give him a quick kiss, “I’ll be the sea honey, always always, and you’ll be the tide.”

You’re giggling like fools in love when you carry on dancing as you sing the outro. And when Heather stops singing, you pull your man down by his hair and you kiss him sweetly.

You can’t stop the smiles on your faces but being unable to stop smiling as you kiss each other really isn’t unknown between you anymore. It’s all you’ve been doing this past week.

After The Tide by Pale Waves finishes, Alex is smiling down at you as he asks, “What’s got you all happy?”

“I woke up next to you.” Your eyes are bright as you keep him close and tell him about your day so far, “The sun is shining. I'm feeling creative, I’ve already finished one poem and painting this morning. The day is good.”

Alex kisses you again then and he hums against your lips before he pulls away to say, “Let go of me so I can see the painting?”

You smile and do as you’re asked. You let him go and go back over to the hob so you can finish making the both of you breakfast as you tell him, “It's on the easel by the back door.”

After a few minutes, you feel his arms wrap around you from behind as you plate up both of your Full English’s for your brunch.

“My girlfriend is so talented it injures me.” Alex says as he leans around you to kiss your temple.

Whilst you think he’s very cute to say you’re talented, you decide to tease him for saying it injures him, “Maybe you and your fragile masculinity should write another album then.”

Alex’s jaw drops a little which makes your facade break. You giggle and lean back into him, “I’m joking, I’m joking.”

“Next year maybe.” Alex tells you after kissing his way up from your shoulder to your neck, “Focus on everything usthis year.”

You hum in agreement, and you turn in his arms as you tell him, “Sounds like a great idea.” and you quickly kiss him before you pat his chest, “Come on, let's eat.”

Brunch was delicious, as your cooking always is and both of you sat at the dining room table whilst you ate. The both of you chatted about the morbid news that the world is experiencing and the latest Covid figures that the government has released and you both wonder how the fuck the world is going to get out of the state that its in for a while.

But, the two of you are no help to anyone. You’re just hoping that Charlie is still doing okay as he is still on the frontline with all of this. It reminds you that you need to call Y/B/F today and actually have a proper lengthy conversation so you can make sure she’s alright.

When you get up from the table to put the plates in the dishwasher (you wouldn’t let Alex do it), your boyfriend finds himself longingly looking at the leather bound diary that contains all of your secrets. It reminds him of just how much he would love to read any poem of yours. He really hopes you’ll let him one day, even if it's years from now when you’re married and going grey, he really hopes you’ll let him.

Curiosity gets the better of Alex and he nods at your diary when you come back into the room, “Did you say you wrote a poem this morning?”

“I did.” You smile brightly at him, the sun hitting your face from the window making your skin have a golden tint to it. You look stunning.

Alex hums acknowledging what you told him, he grins when you walk around the table and sit on his lap instead of your chair. Stealing a quick kiss from you makes Alex smile and he also pushes his luck the tiniest bit, asking cheekily as he slides your poetry diary closer to the both of you, “Can I finally read some of these?”

You chuckle at the way he pouts at you, the silent plea on his face is quite amusing. But what is even funnier to you is his reaction to what you say next.  

“You can read them all.” You nod, “But just bare in mind that’s like two decades worth of my feelings.”

Your boyfriend’s jaw falls and his eyes go wide. It clearly takes a second to register because the next thing you know, his eyebrows are furrowed slightly and he asks, “Wait, what?”

“What?” You giggle, finding it quite amusing how shocked he is.

Alex picks up your poem diary properly now and holds it in front of you and asks seriously, “I can read this?”

“I don’t have anything to hide from you anymore.” You nod, confirming he can if he’d like to. And to ease your now clearly anxious boyfriend, your fingers gently play with the hair on the back of his neck, “You’ve been asking since we were teenagers, I think you’ve waited a sufficient amount of time.”

Alex is entirely lost for words. This book that he has seen for the past decade of his life has plagued him as he has been desperate at different moments in time to see what you’ve been scribbling down onto the pages of it. And to finally hear that he can read it without consequence is a real shock to his system.

“Really?”

“Yeah.” You nod.

Alex looks at the leather diary then like he’s never opened a book in his life and he doesn’t know what to do with it. His hesitance makes you smile, but you think for your own sanity if he does want to read it, which you know he does, you need to do something for yourself.

“Before you do.” You get your best friend's attention again and you ask, “Can you please read and process them when I’m not here? I’d rather you take it all in and then you can ask questions afterwards if you have any.”

Alex questions, “Not all sunshines and rainbows then?” and his heart sinks a little as he’s sure of the answer you’re about to give.

“Has my life been all sunshine and rainbows, Al?” You raise an eyebrow but try to keep the mood light.  

“No,” Your boyfriend shakes his head and takes a deep breath before admitting, “And I’ve not helped with that, I’m sure.”

“Don’t beat yourself up Al.” You tell him, giving him a small smile and you gently stroke his cheek as you tell him, “I love you now because I’ve been through everything you’re about to read.”

Once it’s established that Alex does in fact want to read it, you send off a few texts and when you get responses, you grab a few things before you get yourself ready to head out. And once you’re at the door, you tell Alex what your plan for your day is, “I’m going to go for a long walk, meet up with Adam for a socially distanced chat at the park and then have a nice long talk with Y/B/F whilst you read, okay?”

Alex wraps his arms around your waist and he hides himself into your neck and he kisses it once before offering, “You can stay here if you want? I’ll go out.”

“And you lose my poetry book? Absolutely not.” You giggle a little and you give his hair a little tug so you can give him a kiss. “It’s a nice day, I wanna get out anyway so it kills two birds with one stone.”

“I love you so much.” You kiss him longingly and lovingly, “I’ll see you later.”

“I-” And your best friend tries again.

But you quickly silence him with another kiss and tell him, “Don’t say it until after you’ve read my poems.”

Alex looks hopeful when he asks, “I can say it after?”

“Yeah, I think I've made you wait long enough for that now too.” You grin, loving how excited he is at the thought of saying that he loves you. But you jokingly big yourself up, “Besides, I have a feeling that you’ll be desperate to say it. I have a way with words.”

Alex chuckles at that, but before he lets you go he raises his little finger to you and asks, “Afterwards?”

You smile and hook your little finger around his in a pinky promise, confirming, “Afterwards.”

~*~*~*~

The way Alex’s heart is beating as he paces in front of the settee, which your poetry diary is currently lay on, is frankly concerning considering all of his nerves are being caused by what a pen has written on paper. It’s been 15 minutes since you’ve gone out and Alex hasn’t yet found the courage to open it.

But he realises that he needs to just bite the bullet. He’s been asking to read your poems for so long, he doesn’t want to back out of this now. Alex wants to know the ins and outs of your mind, and this is the closest he’ll ever get to that. So after a few deep breaths, he forces himself to sit down and unwrap the leather diary and he opens it on the first page.

Alex smiles seeing that it's not only your words in this book, you have doodles in there too. Stunning ones, just like all your drawings but these are quirkier and on this page he knows they must be from a long time ago.

On the first page he sees your full name written down, your telephone number which has clearly been updated the few times it’s needed to be. And then you have a bigger note that reads:

If lost: Please call the above number and claim your £5000 reward.

It makes Alex relax a bit reading that because that’s a very you thing to do. He knows that if this book went missing you’d probably pay double that to get it back. And after a deep breath, your boyfriend turns the page to start reading properly and he finds it easier than expected, for now anyway.

After reading a few of your earliest ones, Alex spots the small way you’ve coded out your poems. The date is the first thing at the top of the page, but then in the top right hand corner, you have initials of who the poem is about.

The few he’s read he knows from the initials that there are some about your Mum. Other heartfelt and longing ones about your Dad that almost have Alex tearing up.

There are happy ones too, some that don’t necessarily have initials because they aren’t about anyone in general, they are just about how you’re feeling.

Even reading these from back when you were in high school and college, Alex knows that you’re amazing at what you write in this book. And if your writing was this good when you were half your current age, he knows you must be even better now.

Once Alex figured out your code, he decided that he wants to respect your privacy a little more, so instead of reading everything you’ve written, he searches for his own initials. And your boyfriend stops when he sees the first A.T. in the right corner of your book. Alex sees that you’ve dated it late July 2002 and then he goes on to read:

Thank you for making me

feel things I thought I

never could

It’s short and simple, but Alex knows already that you must have been talking about the night you first slept together then. It sort of hits him all over again just how deeply you clearly felt about the milestone in your lives as he never expected to read you thanking him for it.

Alex flips a few more pages until he stops when he sees a polaroid of you and all the 1975 boys in a swimming pool. You’re all grinning like idiots and he can see that you’ve all signed the bottom of it which is a very you thing to ask all of them to do. But he smiles when he reads the poem on the page the picture is in between.

It’s about him, and about how there’s a trace of him on your neck that you’re getting teased for, but you’re saying it’s all worth it because it’s your reminder of what's waiting for you back home. When Alex looks at the picture again, he can see the faint bruise that he remembers sucking on your neck in Matt’s bedroom all those years ago at that house party. It makes him smile, seeing you look like you did back when you first got together, as you don’t look that much different now. You’re still as beautiful as ever but you’ve matured and grown into your beauty. And you have tattoos now too.

There were a few poems about Alex from that summer, that he finds himself smiling as he reads. But the first one with A.T. in the corner that knocks that smile from his face is one that hits him square in the chest.

Is my timing wrong

or am I just that hard to love?

Maybe I’m just

not good enough.

You thinking that you’re not good enough injures Alex’s soul, because it was never that. Alex was just a moron who got caught up in another girl who was actually in front of him for that whole summer who gave him attention and he never should have done it. He should have waited for you to come back home. He wishes he did.

Alex can’t help but think that this will probably be the easiest one of the heart aching ones that you’ve written about him. And the fact this already has made his heart sink probably isn’t the best sign.

Your poems move on to being about Peter after that and they stay that way for a lot of pages. Alex flicks through them, not really paying too much attention to anything you write about your first boyfriend, but when Alex sees M.H.he pauses.

Nothing is wasted.

Things happen for a reason.

A kiss should be simple,

but the taste of you on

my lips that night (searing)

a beautiful complication

Simple? Then why does

my heart long for you

when I’m locked to him.

Alex quickly recognises that you must have written that when you kissed Matty whilst you were still going out with Peter. And at the same time Alex realises he can’t put himself through reading the poems you’ve written about Matty, whilst it’s beautiful, he knows he can’t do it. He promises himself this will be the last one.

The next Alex finds with his own initials on it is dated a few days after your 21st birthday. And this one was about how sweet you thought it was that he kissed you. After that, there’s endless pages that are about Matty and there are somany.

Whilst Alex is searching for his next one, he comes across a photobooth strip of pictures where you and Matty are kissing each others cheeks before finally kissing each other properly in the final photo tucked into one of the poems about him, but Alex has to skips over your words about your ex.

The next A.T. is dated early November 2007, so Alex knows that this is bound to be when you were on tour with him. And Alex knows it must be because from the context of the poem he knows that this must be about the night you finally slept together again.

Supernova

Boy you are a wild thing,

a supernova, a rush of

blood, burning desire.

(Angels could never)

You light up everything

you touch & set my

body electric.

Me and you?

Hearts true,

skin brand new.

Alex reads this one over and over again. He selfishly knows why he repeats the poem, because he knows that when he turns the page it’s going to turn nasty. Because he was so beyond nasty to you back then.

It’s still one of the biggest regrets of his life, leading both you and Alexa on. He should have never done that to either of you, but especially you. He was so stupid to disregard you like you were nothing and it will always be a splinter in Alex’s soul that he’ll never be able to get out. Just like the way the guilt is always slowly eating away at him but he buries it down these days. But reading your poems that follow make that guilt wash over him all over again.

When he turns the page, he finds it dated it dated early December 2007 which Alex knows is after you left the Favourite Worst Nightmare tour after what he did and he takes a deep breath before he reads the poem you’ve titled Betrayal:

You don’t understand

how a piece of you exists

within me. It hides convert,

burrowed in my centre.

My love, my love, my love,

I have learned to romance

ghosts with you: Men who

are all fucking talk and

zero substance. I have

learned a heart can be

feint, untouchable - even

when gripped in a fist.

I have learned you are

not mine but I have

always been yours.

Ours.

I don't understand why

I can’t kill the piece of you

that makes my heart shake.

I don’t understand how

you can look for more in her

when I have cracked open

my ribcage for you.

It makes Alex tear up, and so do the ones afterwards. There’s at least ten from December 2007 and they all progressively hurt more and more as Alex reads them. But he knows you felt so much worse than he does whilst he’s reading them and on some level he knows that he has to read them all because he deserves to feel the pain after he caused you so much more in the past.

Nothing truly gets him like the last one from that month though. You wrote this one after Christmas, the first christmas he remembers you not being at home for, and his one is called Devastation and it hits him even harder.

You are with me

in dreams sweat-soaked

and electric.

You are the reason

for this ache,

this heart burst open.

When I think of you,

the knife twists and

youyouyou,

you cripple me

even still.

You are beyond forgetting.

You are ingrained in

my blood.

What I don’t understand

is why I still care?

I am a car crash when

it comes to love:

Even when my head hits

the dashboard, I spit out

my teeth and

ask if you’re

okay.

It makes him feel sick, especially reading the end of it. The mention of a car crash wounds him as he knows what pain you went through years after you wrote this on paper what a car accident would do to you. And the fact he made you feel as if you were going through something that you later would find out to be the worst pain of your life, makes him start crying.

He’s not entirely sure how long his head rests in his hands and he cries about the way he once made you feel. Your best friend knows it’s a long while and he forces himself to read all of the sad ones before he lets himself move on.

He deserves to feel every once of your pain that he put you through. And Alex really doesn’t know how you managed to forgive him time and time again.

When he finally gets back to grips and he’s not crying anymore, Alex flicks through again, there’s a few more about Matty before they move on to being about Kyle for a while. There’s the occasional one about your friends and there's a platonic one about Alex dated in 2009 about distance and about how you send each other books.

After that a few more crop up about him that show how worried you are about him that were from 2010, after his split with Alexa and he came to stay with you. And there’s more about Matty afterwards. In fact, Matty takes up the majority of the next fifty pages which makes sense considering you were with him for so long.

The poems got Alex emotional again when it reached the year you had your accident and when you split up with Matty. Alex expects there to be a lot in there about the accident, but considering what happened with Matty, he realises that pain combined with the accident merged into one, so he still doesn’t read the ones with Matty’s initials in the corner.

One of them, though, doesn’t have any initials on it. And it’s the simplest poem but it hits Alex square in the chest.

I keep wondering

how sad do I have to be

for someone to stop insisting

everything is going to be fine?

Maybe it hits him because Alex thinks of himself as that someone who kept reassuring you at that point in your life. Despite you not putting any initials it really does seem like it could be about him.

Your poems stay about Matty for a while then, and he sees the dates move to when the AM tour started. At the beginning of that year there were a few more about Matty, probably how you felt betrayed by him going after Alex’s exes but he again skips over them until he finds his initials again. And he smiles when he does.

There are a few cute ones about the two of you getting closer again, some that suggest you want to see if you can be happy with him but with nerves because of what happened last time. They are really cute, ones that Alex wishes he could reread over and over again, but his favourite happens to have something else alongside it.

Alex opens that page and a polaroid falls out of it, one that he hasn’t seen in years but he remembers taking it. The picture of your silhouette as you sit on the decking above some American lake, and the sky is full of colour. Yellows, oranges, and reds all blurring into a stunning sunset, with the reflection of it on the water but you’re at the centre of it.

Seeing that the poem is the one that you wrote when you were sitting in his arms makes Alex’s heart beat faster, and this is definitely his favourite when he reads it.

Back To Life

This is the truth:

You touched me and the

universe fell back into place.

With you I feel infinity and

I wonder how many lives,

galaxies and red-hot nights

will live in our shared bloodstream.

Because it all boils down to

this sweet boy:

You have brought me

back to life.

It really hits him hard that one, and all of the ones after that ooze that you’re falling in love again. And knowing what happens makes Alex’s heart ache, he really could have had you be his back on tour if he’d have just asked you. If the both of you had just been direct like you were last week, you could have been together for 6 years.

Alex guesses that is at least one blessing of growing up. You all learn from your mistakes in an effort not to make the same ones again, and he’s so thankful he can finally call you his.

If he’s remembering the dates correctly, Alex reads another one that is from when you both came back home from the AM tour that is about him.

I learned to love

the most important parts of me,

because you did.

All my fear, anxieties,

quirks, and insecurities.

I overcame the struggle

because you held out

your hand and

offered to walk with me.

Whilst that warms his heart, the ones of heartbreak come next. Ones where you said that you let him go because you couldn’t be selfish to make him stay for you. Others of longing and the pain at him being so far away again and it makes Alex regret that move to LA in 2014 even more than he already did.

Reading the ones about both him and Matty make your constant heartache back in 2016 a bit easier to understand. He can tell from the way you write that you’re so confused by what you’re feeling for two different people and how overwhelming those emotions were for you. Alex starts crying at some of them because of how broken you sound in them. It made him wish he never put you through the stupid triangle.

Then the poems reflected on your 30th birthday party and the ones about him hurt him a fucking lot to read. Again, he deserves to feel that pain. It’s another of his biggest regrets to this day that he’d said that about you and used your virginity as some badge of honour. So when he reads about you actually forgiving him, he cries again in relief.

But then it gets to 2017 and something else trapped in the pages falls onto Alex’s lap. A letter.

One that just reads ‘Y/N’ on the front of it in someone's handwriting that he doesn’t quite recognise, but he knows he’s seen it before. But then it clicks after he thinks why you keep a letter in your most prized possessions, it’s important to you and important enough that you wouldn’t want to lose it. And it’s then he realises it must be the letter that Matty gave you, the one that ended up with you sleeping with your other best friend again.

For years it’s plagued Alex on what could be written in that letter - the one that's now in his hands - that made you rush to Matty and sleep with him again. It kept him up at night thinking about it in the days after you told him what happened.

He wants to know, he really does and when it clicked what it was there was no doubt in Alex’s mind that he was going to open it and read it. But when it comes to him even opening the envelope, he can’t do it.

Alex can’t bring himself to betray your trust like that. It’s unbelievable enough that you’ve even let him open your poetry diary, he can’t just open something that you’ve kept private for so long.

He trusts you enough with what you’d told him in the past and what you said last week that Matty is just your best friend. You will have had your reasons for why you got with him back then and he’s sure this letter in his hands would make him understand. But that can stay between you and Matty. Alex makes his peace with that there and then as he tucks the letter back into the pages of your diary before he starts searching for his initials again.

The 2018 poems begin and the months where you and Alex got together again the time it almost led to a proper relationship have your boyfriend really happy to read. Your writing is astounding and how you convey your feelings through your words is insane.

But Alex knows he’s about to fuck up and hurt you again. And when he reaches the poem where he does, it upsets him again.

In another life

I swallowed every reprieve

and instead

offered you a mouthful

of loathing.

Just not in this one

As he’s been reading all of the ones after this about how hurt you were after he called you what he did and you decided you didn’t want to be with him anymore. Again, entirely fair and he deserves to feel like this as he reads the following ones that also cover that heartbreak.

He reads the other ones that cover 2018, not many more are about him other than one about you meeting accidentally in your spot at the park that day.

The poem you write about your one night stand in January 2019 is amazing. You write about sex like it’s electricity and he can feel the ghost of what happened in his veins as he reads.

He wishes that you were ready for a relationship back then because he would have asked you if you wanted to settle down. It would have saved him the waste of time that was the rest of 2019 for him anyway, and he could have been with someone who actually appreciated him for the person he is instead of being used like he was. Another regret of his will always be that he foolishly didn’t believe what you said about his ex and that he hurt you with that.

The poems that start with the beginning of 2020 are beautiful and happy, but the ones that come after march are bitter in comparison. Your poems turn lonely and sad and it’s so blatantly clear to see that you weren’t doing too well. As Alex reads he can see tear stains on the old battered book that holds your emotions just as clearly as your words.

He too is balling his eyes out reading how broken you feel and he wishes you phoned him sooner than you did. He promises himself that he will never ever let you feel as upset as you clearly were for those few months and he will make sure he does that for the rest of his life.

Alex notices the dates get even more recent now. One a day after he picks you up and it's as if a light had been switched back on and you found your happiness again. And then he reads ones that slowly hint that you’re falling back in love and you say that it’s been dormant for a while but it's always been there. It makes your boyfriend emotional as his heart feels like it could burst. But then he reads ones that have been written this last week, where each of them have that A.T. in the corner and your boyfriend can’t stop crying.

21/06/20

Those little moments,

with my head on your chest

and your fingertips

drawing circles

on the base of my neck.

They are the tiny moments

you are more than my home;

you are my entire world.

~~~

22/06/20

If I were to build a house

I’d have your arms as the walls

Your eyes as the windows

Your smile as the front door

Your heart as the fireplace

And your soul as my light

And in this house

I’d place my faith

Knowing I’d finally

Found a home

~~~

23/06/20

My pen could write

for a thousand people

but it never smiles about them

the way it does for you.

I love you Alexander Turner,

my Shakespeare,

my Darling.

So much.

And then the pages go blank. You wrote that you loved him this morning and even though you’ve said it a hundred times this past week it still doesn’t seem real.

Alex closes the book and puts it down before he just lets himself cry. He’s so overwhelmed with everything that you’ve written that all of his emotions are blended into one and he just sits and cries.

The only thing Alex can make sense of is that It seemed like you both caught feelings for each other even harder at different paces. You caught them immediately whereas Alex noticed them properly about a year later and he made messy life decisions after that.

And after that you’ve been missing each other until you finally got brought together now. Alex is so beyond thankful that he has you now and he will never ever take that for granted.

He’s unsure how long he sat there reading, and now crying, but it’s long enough that you’ve made it back home. Alex hears the front door open and you’re humming as you walk through the door.

Hearing your small, “I’m home.” somehow makes him even more upset, but he can’t not get up because he needs you back in his arms now. As Alex turns the corner, you’re taking your AirPods out and putting your keys on the side and he tears up more just looking at you.

You didn’t even notice your boyfriend was coming up to you until the second before his arms wrapped around you and he gave you the biggest hug he ever has. It’s a lovely embrace that has you smiling, but it quickly turns worrying when you feel his shaky breathing and you realise he’s crying.

Just as you’re about to ask if he’s okay, you hear his choked up voice tell you, “I love you so so much, Y/N.” as he hugs you tightly.

“Alex,” Your arms wrap around him, instantly worried he’s had some bad news whilst you’ve been out. “What's wrong?”

You feel him shake his head as he cries into your neck and he just holds you tighter and “Nothing, I just love you.”

“I love you too, Al.” You promise him, giving him a big squeeze and you run your hand up and down his back trying to comfort him and coax him into telling you what's wrong.

You’re a little worried about him when he just cries for a minute in your neck before you start worrying that something bad actually has happened and he’s not telling you, “Alex come on, what's happened? What’s wrong?”

“I just read everything and I-” He chokes up when he pulls out of your hug briefly for him to wipe the tears from his face as he stumbles over his words, “I don’t know Angel. I’m overwhelmed and I-” He has watery eyes and you can tell just how much he means what he’s saying when he continues, “I just love you so much Angel… I’m so sorry I hurt you for so long.”

“Al, don't apologise.” You shake your head, and reach up to wipe his tears away, “I’m fine, I’m okay.”

“I just love you a lot. I'm so, so, so beyond sorry I put you through all that.” There’s no stopping his tears yet, and he looks broken when he cries in a choked voice, “You must hate me, I'm so, so, so sorry.”

“Alex no,” You promise him, “It's okay.”

He sounds broken when he says, “I don’t understand how can you love me when I made you feel like that?”

“Do you remember what that really clever man once said?” You ask him as you wipe his tears and he sniffles, shaking his head slightly to answer your question.

“‘The course of true love never did run smooth’, Al.” You quote A Midsummer Night’s Dream at him, before you go on to say, “I love you more now because of it all… You know I love you, you’ve just read how much I do. Please tell me you made it to the end.”

Alex nods, confirming he did, but he sniffles, “I don’t deserve it.”

“If you made it to the end then you’ve read how much I love you.” You smile at him, and the small smile he gives you back warms your heart. You really want him to believe you.

“We deserve to be happy, Shakespeare.” You wipe away the fresh tears that spill down his cheeks as you tell him softly, “It’s time to let it all go. It’s me and you against the world now.”

“Are you sure you want that?” It almost breaks your heart when you hear him ask that. “Want me?”

You nod, promising him, “I’ve never been more sure about anything.”

Tears of relief seem to flood his eyes then and he smiles at you as he savours the feeling of you gently brushing his cheeks as you look up at him with such a loving smile.

He wraps himself up into the biggest hug again and as you lean your head against his, he says, “I love you so much Y/N Y/L/N.”

You smile as you whisper into his ear, “And I love you too Alex Turner.”

~*~*~*~ Mid July 2020 ~*~*~*~

“Curly, hey!” You smile as you answer your phone.

You just quickly ran to the kitchen to grab your phone when you heard it ringing but you were pleasantly surprised to see your best friend's contact name on the screen.  

“Wheels! Sweetheart!” Matty’s chipper voice comes from down the phone. “How are you? What you up to?”

“I’m good, thank you.” You tell him as you make your way back to  “And I’m currently doing another box painting for the next gallery. For whenever the world gets back to normal anyway.”

“Hopefully we will get there soon,” You can hear Matty’s smile when he adds, “And oooo, what’s this one of?”

You smile as you look at your artwork. This one was just a scene you conjured up from your imagination and it turned out pretty well if you do say so yourself, “This one is a foggy forest with mountains in the back.”

“Nice one, can’t wait to see it.” Matty says and you know he’s being entirely genuine.

However, today is about him, not you.

“You’re too cute, but anyway, I can tell you over the phone properly now.” You’re grinning like a fool as you say, “I’m so fucking proud of you Matty… Notes is fucking amazing.”

Notes On A Conditional Form came out today and you’ve already had your first run through of listening to it since Alex went out earlier as you painted. It’s so different to their other albums but still has that 1975 magic that makes the songs theirs. And you’re so incredibly proud of them all.

“Thank you Sweetheart,” You can practically hear his grin, “And whilst I’ve got you, Notes was actually the reason I was calling.”

“Oh?” You smile hearing that.

“We’re doing the twitter listening party later on at seven and I wondered if you’re not busy if you wanted to come to the studio to listen with me and George?” Matty asks, and before you can get a word in, your best friend starts giving his reasons, “I just don’t want you on your own when you’re being sensible anyway so having you around for a bit isn’t going to break any rules in our mind nor should it in yours. You shouldn’t be locked down alone anyway.”

“Matty,” You start, “Thank you for the offer but I’m not on my own anymore.”

“Who you with?”

“Alex…” You trail off, really not knowing how Matty was going to take it.

You’ve sort of just kept what’s gone on between you and Alex the past month between the two of you. You hadn’t even told Adam you were giving it another try with Alex yet, you just told him when you socially distanced met up with him the day your boyfriend was reading your poetry books that you were staying at his house, not that you were back together.

“Ah, right.” Matty thinks about it for a second before hesitantly asking, “I’m guessing in more ways than one?”

You feel fucking awful, like you should have had this conversation in person and not over the phone, so you immediately say, “I’m sorry Matty, I-”

“No, no Wheels, please don’t apologise.” Matty is quick to interrupt you, “I was just asking because I didn't want to presume. I just want you to be happy.”

“That’s all I want for you too, Matty. I swear.” You promise, because you do just want him happy.

There’s nothing you want more than for him to find the girl of his dreams who can put up with his excitable ways and for someone who loves him just as much as you once did. He deserves the world and there will always be a part of you that loves him, but you’re both so much better off as best friends it's clear for you both to see now.

“Yeah, I know.” You can hear his smile and that is still present when he excitedly hints, “I’ve got news on that actually.”

“Ooo what?”

“I’ve started speaking to someone.” Matty informs you and you can hear his grin down the phone.

You gasp, completely thrilled for him, “Really?”

“Yeah.” He confirms, sounding really chuffed for himself.  

“Would I know her?” Is your polite way of asking if she’s famous.

“You might.” Matty chuckles before answering, “You heard of FKA Twigs?”

“You’re kidding.” Your jaw drops and you have to pinch your nose wondering how the fuck Matty, your beautifully idiotic now skinhead Matty Healy has somehow managed to take FKA Twigs off the market. “How the fuck have you managed that Matty? She pole dances!”

“I know.” Matty laughs down the phone, clearly finding your shock funny. “I don’t know either Wheels, but it’s going really well. I was actually gunna tell you later on if you were coming round.”

You can’t stop smiling at how bloody happy he sounds, you coo down the phone, “Matty, I’m so happy for you.”

“I’m happy for you too.” Matty tells you sincerely, and your heart melts a bit when he adds, “You know I’m always here if you need me, right Sweetheart?”

“Of course I do, Curly.” You nod, wrapping an arm around yourself in an attempt to simulate one of his. You’ve missed your Matty hugs these past four months. You remind him, “I’m always a phone call away too. You know that.”

“I do.” Matty confirms which makes you smile.

You really need lockdown to fuck off so you can go and hug your friends. You will certainly never take their presence for granted ever again.

“Who knows about you and Al by the way? Does Hann know?” Matty can’t help but wonder.

“No we’ve not told anyone, we've just kept it to ourselves for the time being.” You explain, “But it’s not a secret, tell who you want. I’ll phone Adam after I’ve finished on the phone with you though.”

He chuckles mischievously, “Amazing, Twitter will have a field day.”

“Just like they did when they found out you shaved your head again.” You pointedly accuse because you’re still not happy with him.

The bastard got rid of the mohawk and left a fucking rat tail on his head, and after copious amounts of bullying from you, he finally got rid of that too. But now he just looks like a prison inmate and you need him to commit to growing his hair back.

“So other than the both of us being happy, do you have any gossip? Personal or industry will satisfy my boredom.” You ask, changing the topic of conversation so he hopefully forgets his plan to out your relationship to twitter.  

Matty laughs then, but he can’t help but say, “Alex should be satisfying your boredom.”

“Oh he is,” You grin, knowing exactly what your best friend meant by that, “But I’ve gotta have a break sometimes, Curly.”

The sex you and Alex were currently having was very very nice to say the least. Lockdown was a blessing in that sense, between painting, watching shit tv, talking to each other and your friends left a lot of time for the two of you to get up to no good. And it’s needless to say, you’ve been left very satisfied.

But you can’t help but tease Matty, “Might watch a few more videos of your girlfriend pole dancing if you don’t give me some gossip.”

“Let me think.” Your best friend says quickly which makes you chuckle, but then he tells you the worst thing imaginable, “Oh yeah, so something devastating news for you actually… Catfish and the Bottlemen are no more.”

Your eyes go wide, and you gasp, “What?!”

You can imagine Matty nodding as he confirms, “They are splitting up.”

“No.” You say back in utter disbelief.

You don;t even hear the front door open, you're so in shock. All you can hear is Matty trying not to laugh as he says, “Yeah, sorry Wheels but it’s true.”

With your hand over your mouth, still in utter disbelief you ask, “But why?” like you’re a child who’s having a sulk at your toy being taken away.

“I’ve got no idea. Seems there’s been a few disagreements and shit’s hit the fan.” Matty tells you, “Apparently, they will be doing their confirmed tour dates and then that's it.”

“I’m in pain.” You're frozen to your spot, looking like your world just crumbled down as you exaggerate to Matty, “Immense pain.”

Whilst your best friend chuckles down the phone, Alex walks through the door with all of the food shopping bags on his arms, and he asks slightly concerned, “What’s wrong with you? You look like you’re about to throw up.”

As your boyfriend kisses you on top of your head, you repeat what Matty just told you, “Catfish and the Bottlemen are splitting up.”

“Yeah.” Alex nods like it’s not news to him before he turns and heads towards the kitchen.

You jump out of your seat and follow him, almost shouting, “You knew?!”

“I thought you did.” Alex says over his shoulder as he puts all the bags down in the corner of the room by the cupboards.  

Matty is laughing down the phone as you say in complete disbelief, “I can’t believe you knew and you didn’t tell me.”

“Don’t cry Angel, they weren’t that good.” Alex chuckles before he starts opening cupboards and the fridge to put the food shopping away.  

You jump up and sit on the kitchen island before saying, “I’m surrounded by rats.” and Matty again laughs as your boyfriend chuckles.

“Matty’s on the phone then?” Alex asks, and when you nod, you pull your phone from your ear and put him on speaker. Your boyfriend tells your best friend, “Brave of you to tell her that mate. How are you?”

“I know and good thank you, hope you are too.” Matty’s voice rings out of your phone speakers.  

But you smirk and add, “Oh he’s fucking amazing with his new pole dancing girlfriend.”

“Who?” Alex turns to look at you with a surprised look.

You grin knowing he’ll be shocked when you tell him, “FKA Twigs.”

“You’re kidding?” Alex’s jaw drops exactly like yours did.

You can’t help but laugh, “That’s what I said!”

“Okay it’s getting a bit rude now and you’s can call her Tahliah,” Matty tells you and you bite your lip to stop from laughing. Matty adds though, “By the way Al… Break Wheels’ heart and I’ll punch your lights out and get George to do the same.”

“Noted.” Alex chuckles, having absolutely no intention to ever hurt you again. Changing the topic, “Speaking of notes, we’re listening to it later, right?”

“We are indeed.” You nod confirming for your boyfriend.

“Excited to hear what you think.” Matty says pleasantly, but then he feels the need to remind, “Please both of you remember I wrote it a fucking while ago.”

You chuckle at that because you know he means that songs about you are on there. But you already knew that. You were in the music video to one of them after all. But you’re excited to tweet along later as you both listen to it properly.  

“Don’t worry, it's all good.” Alex chuckles, really not caring if you’re not upset by it.

Matty is entitled to write about his own experience just as much as he is.  

You leave Alex to put the shopping away after the three of you chat for a little bit. You and Matty could chat for days and you probably chat for another half an hour about anything that pops into either of your heads. But then Matty remembers something that will shock you to your very soul.

“Oh fuck.” Matty says randomly as you were gossiping.

“What?”

“I forgot to tell you something…” Matty trails off.

If you were on facetime with him, you expect you’d see the hint of a grin coming onto his lips as you can tell by the way he said that. You’re sure of it.

Which is why you question, “Is it gossip?”

“It is.” Matty confirms, before correcting slightly, “Personal gossip.”

Oh, fuck yes. The best kind… Especially when it’s not about you.

You’re grinning, “Spill, now.”

“Are you sat down?” Matty asks, “You might want to be.”

“Oh fuck,” You immediately feel guilty for getting excited and not realising something could be wrong, “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah everything’s grand,” Matty thankfully eases your worries, but he still leaves you anxious as he says, “Just need you to be sitting for this.”

“Okay… You’re scaring me now. What?”

“It’s George…” He trails off again.

But you prompt him to continue, your heart beating a little faster wondering what the gossip could be, “What about him?”

Matty tells you, “He texted me earlier saying he’d managed to shag the girl he’s been after for a while.”

And just like that your hopes and dreams of George all crumble away.

You pout at that, and you sound a little grumpy as you say, “Well he’s not just shagged me so that’s a lie.”

“You wish.” Matty laughs, expecting to hear nothing else.

He can’t help but find your disappointment funny. But he knew he needed to be the one to tell you, because you’d need the news to sink in first and you’d be too polite for your own good if George told you himself.

As Matty is thinking all of this, you realise you really can’t be upset. You’ve got your man now and you’re very veryhappy with him. Maybe you’re just mourning what could have been and the jokes that can’t happen anymore.

Sighing, you brave the pain, “Come on spill... Who is it? Is she pretty? Do we know her?”

“Oh, you know her alright.” You can hear Matty’s grin.

“Do not say Alexa Chung.” You state bluntly, the idea not funny in the slightest to you.  

Matty cackles at that, but he assures you, “No, you’re safe don’t worry.”

“Who’s he fucking Matty?” You urge him to tell you.  

“Charli XCX.”

Your jaw falls open for the second time today, and you gasp, “No.”

“I promise you.” Matty confirms, but now you’re truly shell shocked and you’re left speechless. So much so that after a minute, your best friend makes sure you’re still there, “Wheels?”

Lucky fucking bitch.

You say as you stare into the void, “I’m deeply unwell.”

“I knew you would be.” Matty chuckles to himself as he can picture the shock on your face so clearly.

You whine, “She’s so fucking fit.”

“I know.” Matty agrees.

But you’re still thinking out loud as you complain, “They must have the hottest, switchiest sex.”

Matty cackles loudly at the pain in your voice. “I’m going to tell him you said that.”

Ignoring that comment, you carry on rambling about this fake heartbreak, “I half feel like he’s cheated on me because he’s not told me.”

Matty quite rightly asks, “Have you told him about Alex?”

“No, so I don’t have a leg to stand on but still I’m in pain right now.” You winge.

“Knew you would be.” Matty chuckles, “We’re all off the market now, Wheels. The shop has closed.”

You nod as if he can see you, but you then go on to the more pressing point, “We need to find Ross someone, stat.”

Matty agrees, “I might set him up a Raya account.”  

“Do it, the man needs to get laid.” You approve, then joke, “If I wasn’t spoken for, I would.”

“Please expect the bro code, Wheels.” You can almost hear Matty’s frown.  

“I’m not your bro.” You state, half offended he would call you that.

Matty chuckles, “You’re my best friend, you are.”

And just as you’re about to argue that you’re had sex with him before so you’re not his bro, Matty swears, “Oh fuck.”

You’re worried for a split second, “What?”

“I’m late for my Zoom meeting with Jamie,” Matty panics a little, but nothings wrong so you take a breath of relief as your best friend apologises, “Sorry Wheels, I completely forgot and he’s ringing me.”

You just chuckle, “Ever the professional.”

“Sorry Sweetheart.”

“It’s alright.” You smile, “Speak to you soon, love you lots Curly.”

“Love you too, bye Wheels.” Matty quickly bids you farewell.

“Bye.” You say back and when the call ends you stand yourself up.

It’s almost too much news to take in. You have to take a breath as you wonder back to the kitchen where you can hear your boyfriend starting to cook.

After you put your phone on charge, you walk up behind him and wrap your arms around his waist.

“Al.” You mumble as you hug his back.

“Yes Angel?”

“Don’t suppose you’ve ever thought about a foursome?” You ask, unable to stop yourself.

Alex chuckles, “With Matty and Twigs, no.”

You laugh a little too as that was definitely not who you were meaning. You correct him, “No, with George and his new girl.”

“Who’s his new girl?” Alex asks absentmindedly, no matter the answer he’s not going to change his mind.

You still can’t believe George has managed to land the stunning woman, “Charli XCX.”

Alex turns towards you at this point, looking just as shocked as you, “You’re kidding?”

“Nope.” You confirm it’s true.

“Christ,” Alex chuckles, “The pandemic has done the rounds for bringing couples together, hasn't it?”

“I know, I know.” You nod, and go back to having a silent moment with him, once again hugging his back whilst he cooks.  

But after a minute, you ask again, “So… the foursome?”

Alex snorts, before telling you, “Get out of my kitchen, woman.”

~*~*~*~ 30th November 2020 ~*~*~*~

“I don’t think we’re ever going to find one, Angel.” Alex sighs as you both get in the car after another disappointing house viewing.

You try to keep both of your hopes up by assuring, “We will.” as you do your seatbelt and get comfy as Alex starts the car.

Your boyfriend just looks visibly deflated though, which is how you’re currently feeling too but you’re trying not to let it get you down. The both of you decided that you wanted to find a home together, because you wanted to build a life together that was your own.

Originally it was Alex’s idea, because he didn’t want to refer to it as your flat or his house, he wanted it to be both of yours together. He wanted to restart with you and you were certainly up for it. You’re really not attached to your flat in London at all, and you’ve been living with Alex since June so you’re certainly up for it.

But the current search hasn’t been going too well.

“Each one has so many cons and it’s infuriating.” Alex huffs as he waits for the car to de-mist. He turns to you and holds up each of fingers for the cons, “Either no studio space or no music room space. It's either all dark and dingy and needs too much doing to it.”

“I understand Al,” You nod, getting what he means entirely, “Nowhere has felt like a home.”

He runs a hand through his once again prince charming hair, but he looks at you and sighs, “We couldn't raise a family in any of the ones they’ve shown us.”

The both of you have talked about your futures a lot recently and the prospect of starting a family has been talked about. Neither of you want anything right now, but the option being left open is certainly something you’re happy with.

You just continue to tell your boyfriend, “We will find somewhere.” as you grab his hand and lace your fingers together.

Alex gives your hand a squeeze and he kisses the back of it before sounding slightly upset as he admits, “I’m losing hope and that's really sad.”

You give him a sad smile hearing that but you do understand. You’ve not liked any yet either and it does get the both of you down. But you just try to stay optimistic but also realistic. It really isn’t the end of the world.

“Well we have the viewing later today and if that goes shit, how about we just put a hold on moving?” You suggest, “We’re not moving because we desperately have too, we’re just doing it for better convenience for the both of us.”

Alex looks like he’s about to argue, but you get to him first and say, “It’s really not that much of an issue me going to the flat to sort the paintings out. I can survive a bit longer.”

“I know, but I also want to make a home with you like we talked about.” Alex sounds so defeated and you just make him lean across the car to hug you for a few seconds.

“Home for me is where you are.” You tell him as you kiss his cheek, “So I’m perfectly fine in the house for a bit longer, Al. I’m in no rush... Let's just see how later goes and if we get a good feeling about it we can see.”

Alex nods and lets you go, grabbing your hand again as he nods, “Yeah, you’re right.”

“I always am.” You chuckle and squeeze his hand, “You never know, the one later is a little further out of the city. More room there. And if you want to, I don't mind not being in London, we can go back home and look up there.”

Alex smiles at that idea, but he outs himself for not being able to wait around for anything, “I just can’t wait to build a life with you any longer. Need everything now.”

You grin at him and lean over to steal a kiss as you tell him, “I love you, Mr Impatient.”

“Love you too, Angel.” Alex mumbles against your lips as he kisses you back.

~*~*~*~

“So this one has most of the things you were asking for.” Your estate agent Anna tells you as the three of you walk up the drive of the gorgeous looking house.

“Lots of natural light, which I know you wanted for your art studio, Y/N. There's another decent sized room that could easily be turned into a home studio for you, Alex. It’s a little bigger than you wanted, but more space is never a bad thing.” She goes on to tell you as she gets the keys to the house out. “It's a four bed, two bathroom. Master has an ensuite, and there's an open plan kitchen and dining area. And the lounge is fairly big with a fireplace. There's also a pretty much brand new conservatory on the back and a big garden too.”

“Well it certainly sounds good.” You smile as she starts unlocking the doors, “Looks it too from the outside.”

The drive can easily fit a few cars on there which is nice, and there's a tree that currently has no leaves in the corner too. The outside of the house looks huge, somewhere that you would dream of living when you were a teenager and never imagining it would be possible for you to have. You just hope inside lives up to the outside.

Anna smiles at you both, and she says, “Fingers crossed this is the one for you both, I have a good feeling,”

“Let's hope it’s a good one.” Alex nods as she opens the front door.

Anna gives you the tour around and you must admit the more things you see of this house, the more you can see the potential in it. This is one of the few that you’re actually letting yourself get excited about.

The room Anna thought about as your art studio is perfect, there's enough natural light so you could paint in there and there's enough room to store your paintings and all your supplies too. There’s nothing you don’t like about it.

And Alex seems to like the room that she envisioned as his studio. You could already picture his guitars on the walls, a drum kit in there, a keyboard, there was enough room for everything.

The lounge is fucking huge, bigger than the two of you need but it’s cosy and if theres a future where the two of you ever decide to expand your family the house certainly accommodates to it. The joint kitchen and dining room is astounding too, you wouldn't change a thing in there, you love all the units and so does Alex.

Upstairs is just as good. All the bedrooms and the bathroom are beautiful and the only thing you would change about them would be giving them some colour on the bare white walls. You can certainly picture yourself and Alex in the master bedroom too. The whole house is stunning and the both of you get that excited feeling in your stomach as you look around.

Anna lets you wonder around by yourselves for a little bit where you get the relief of knowing that the other person has a good feeling about this house too. And as you come back downstairs, you realise you’ve not looked outside yet or been in the conservatory.

“Do we get to the back garden through the conservatory, Anna?” You ask, looking back to her setting her iPad down on the kitchen island.

“Yes there is a door in there and there's a door in the utility room too, but feel free to go out that way, the key should be in the door.” She smiles.

Both of you think that the conservatory has the potential to be very cosy, and there’s no neighbours facing this way either, the garden just seems to be surrounded by trees so it gives the garden some privacy which the both of you like.

“Lets go check outside.” You suggest as you slip your coat back on, and Alex follows you out.

It's a nice big garden. Big enough for your friends to come over for a BBQ in the summer, or if your family did expand a swingset, trampoline, or a pool could easily be put up and little ones could still run around it freely.

Even though most of the trees have currently lost their leaves due to the time of year, you still feel like this is a lovely place. Lots of light gets into the garden and you know even when all the leaves come back it won't feel suffocating. You really love this house and Alex agrees with you when you say it as you head back inside with him.

“What did you think?” Anna asks as she steps into the conservatory to meet you.

You nod, “It’s lovely.” and Alex nods agreeing with you.

“It really is, especially in spring and summer.” Anna smiles, and she looks out of the window and nonchalantly adds, “That cherry blossom tree makes the garden look beautiful.”

Instantly you and Alex look at each other like you’ve missed something. Because you’re certain you would have seen a cherry blossom tree outside if there was one.

It’s Alex that questions it, “Pardon?”

“That tree at the end of the garden,” Anna points to the big tree with no leaves at the very end of the garden, “It's a cherry blossom… When it's spring it blooms and looks stunning. I’ll find the pictures for you.”

You and Alex look at each other then as the estate agent looks through her iPad and both of you share the same look. The both of you entirely full of hope and you're sure the warm feeling must have hit his chest like it just did yours.

“There you go,” Anna hands her device over to you which shows an image of the back garden with all the trees in bloom.

But there’s a huge stunning cherry blossom tree in the centre of it, and it looks stunning. It looks like the one you painted on the big canvas that Alex secretly bought at your gallery.

Anna adds, “It’s the same as the small one out the front.” and she swipes on her screen which shows a smaller cherry blossom which is clearly the tree on the drive that had lost its leaves.

Both you and Alex look at each other again, this time with smiles tugging on both of your lips and you just know. If this isn’t a sign, you don’t know what is.

In reality, the both of you know that there is no need to look around again because you’ve both fallen completely in love with the house. The cherry blossoms have just confirmed it for you.

Regardless though, just to confirm it, you take another look around all the rooms as if you don’t know that you both want this house. And when you meet Anna at the front door, Alex grabs your hand and you smile at each other before your boyfriend says, “We would like to make an offer please.”

~*~*~*~ 7th April 2021 ~*~*~*~

“Hey!” You smile brightly as you open the door to your cousin and his girlfriend, “Come in, come in.”

“God, I'm so glad to see you Carly.” You say as you pull her into a hug, “I’ve missed you loads.”

“I’ve missed you too.” She says as she hugs you back.

As Alex greets your cousin, you tell her when you pull out of the hug and admire her long hair, “Gosh, every time I see your hair I wish mine was still as long.”

“It’s growing back.” She grins as she twists a strand of your hair.

You chuckle, “Yeah, just not fast enough.”

At that point the both of you turn to the two men. And you can’t help the massive grin that comes to your face when you look at Adam.

“Bro,” You grin as you hug your cousin, “It’s good to see you.

“And you B,” He tells you as he gives you a tight squeeze, “Missed you loads.”

“I know, these lockdowns need to fuck off.” You let him go as he says, “Really hoping that was the last one.”

From January to March this year, there was another lockdown in the UK. One that was a blessing and curse. A curse because the country was suffering from high Covid rates again, but a blessing because in those 3 months you had got the keys to yours and Alex’s house and you finished making it your own.

“I think it will be,” Adam is clearly hoping that was the end of another bout of self isolation too, “Don't think the country will survive another.”

You nod, agreeing, “Can’t wait to get back to normal.”

Adam hums in agreement and then he looks around the hall and around what he can see of your new home and says, “The house is stunning.”

“Ahh thank you.” You smile, the pride washing over you when you take a look around yourself.

Carly asks the both of you, “Did you get everything finished during the lockdown?”

“Yeah, we did.” Alex nods, and he grins at the memories of the both of you covered in paint in domestic bliss.  

Getting this house with you was certainly one of the best ideas he’d ever had and he would change nothing about it for the world. And on the rainy days recently, Alex had loved cuddling up with you in the conservatory where you would read aloud for the both of you as he was playing with the ends of your hair and his eyes would flick between you and the cherry blossom tree that had started to bloom at the bottom of your garden.

“Come on,” You link Carly's arm and say, “We’ll give you the tour.”

You take them round your home and you find yourself really proud to show it off. You’ve made it your own and every room that you walk into, you feel that pride that you felt each time you finished decorating a room during lockdown as you show them your home.

Once you’ve given the tour, you all walk into the kitchen so you can make them a drink. It’s so nice to have them around, you’ve really missed everyone again over the lockdown, you just can’t wait for things to go back to normal now.

And you’re really excited for your little housewarming party in a month's time. You can’t wait to have all your friends back together.

“It's gorgeous B.” Adam smiles as you hand him his cup of tea.

You grin, “Thank you.” as you take your seat next to Alex.

“Was talking about Alex's studio but sure the rest is nice.” Adam teases you.

But you just shake your head and tell him, “You’re a little shit.” as Carly nudges him for you.

All of you chat for a while and you have a really good catch up. You talk of how lockdown treated you all, about how you really hope life will get back to normal soon. You laugh about your funny lockdown stories over lunch and you can’t remember the last time you’ve had so much fun.

Well actually, you can remember the last time. It was in November when you finally got to hang out with all of your favourite people once again back up in your old flat, and Y/B/F and Charlie were back living together as the fact you all now had a vaccine on the horizon made the future look a whole lot brighter.

You felt like your family was whole again. Your Monkeys and your 1975 boys and your best friends all in one place. It felt like a birthday party, you were so happy.

Of course, you still got the flirty banter from George which Alex didn’t mind about, but what made your boyfriend giggle was when Charli started flirting with you too and you all but crumbled at it. Matty was still a terror and the banter between you was still exactly the same, he bullied you for anything and everything and you did the same to him.

That day you took it easy on him though because his girlfriend FKA Twigs aka Taliah had joined the party, but you did tell him that you were really happy he was happy in a moment you had when you joined him for some fresh air when he went out on your old fire escape to smoke. You really hoped for the best for him as he’d been with her for a while by that point and it was easy for you to see he was in love with her.

It was such a good day, and you’re remembering it fondly in an anecdote before you and Alex clear all the plates and make your cousin and his beautiful girlfriend another brew. Once you both return and all of you wonder into your lounge, you notice that the couple take each other's hands and seem to silently communicate with each other before smiling and looking back towards you.

“We’ve got to tell you something.” Carly smiles at the both of you and she grabs Adam’s hand making the statement even more suspenseful.

“Oh?” You smile, feeling like you know what this could be.

You and Y/B/F bet back on that day in November that in the next 6 months Adam would propose to Carly. And Alex knew about this bet too so you both glanced at each other subtly thinking that this really could be it, which makes you hold your breath with a nervous eagerness to hear what they have to say.

But then you’re shocked to your very soul.

“We're having a baby.” Adam grins at you.

Your eyes go wide with excitement, but you lose your words as you look between them, “You’re… you’re…”

“Yeah.” Carly nods, understanding your speechlessness.

“Oh my,” You trail off, immediately tearing up as you and Alex both stand up to hug the parents to be. Both of you say at the same time, “Congratulations.”

Adam makes a beeline for you, which you find really cute because you were going to go for Carly first. But you embrace your cousin so tight and you really don’t want to let him go.

You can hear Alex congratulating Carly whilst you and Adam just silently hug each other as you try not to sob down his ear. You think the hug says a lot more than you ever could.

You love the man in your arms like he’s your brother and you’ve so beyond happy for him. He deserves nothing but happiness and this is going to be the happiest thing to ever happen in your family.

“You’re going to be a Dad.” You cry happy tears as you squeeze him in the tightest hug you ever have, “I’m so happy for you Ads.”

“Thank you B.” Your cousin sounds a little choked up too.

You think about just how amazing he’s going to be with a baby and you can’t help but repeat yourself in a little chuckle of disbelief, “I can’t believe you’re going to be a Dad.”

Adam laughs, “Neither can I.”

“I’m going to spoil baby Hann rotten.” You promise him, already formulating a plan for everything you’re going to do for this child.

“Oh, I have no doubt.” Adam chuckles before you give each other another big squeeze and you let go to see he’s just as teary eyed as you.

You smile and wipe away his tears for him but you don’t bother to do your own because as soon as you look at Carly the waterworks start again. She’s tearing up a bit too as you trap her in a long hug.

“I'm so beyond happy for you, Carly.” You tell her and she thanks you as Alex tells Adam how elated he is for him.

You and Carly hug each other for a while too, probably too long but it feels like the both of you need it. And you’re giggling in each other's arms for a few minutes as you talk about how happy you are for them both and you promise her too that you will spoil her child rotten.

When you finally let go of her, you all sit back down but you’re far more invested in this conversation than you have been with anyone ever before.

Alex asks Carly with a bright smile, “How far are you?”

“Twelve weeks.” She grins.

“Who knows?” You have to ask, because you need to silently scream about this to someone after they have gone.

“Just the parents and now you two.” Adam tells you, “Had to come and tell my sister before the rest of them.”

Once again, the love and pride you feel for them being in your family and now making their own hits you square in your chest. You’re so overjoyed for them. You can’t wait to phone your Aunt as soon as Adam leaves.

“You’re gunna be a proper Auntie.” Adam grins and that makes your heart burst and tears threaten to come to your eyes again.

Alex pulls you into a little side hug as he laughs as he tells your cousin, “You’re going to have her sobbing.”

“I saw your eyes well up Turner, it’s not all on her.” Adam outs him which makes you giggle a little as Alex’s hug brings you some comfort.

“Are you going to find out if it's a little boy or girl?” You have to ask them.

And Carly excitedly tells you, “No, we’re going to wait.”

“I’m so so happy for you.” Is the one thing you keep repeating.

After talking and congratulating them for another 5 minutes, Adam nudges Carly with an excited look on his face and says, “We better go and tell the others.”

“Who are you telling today?” You have to ask so you don’t blab about it to someone you’re not meant to.

“The boys.” Adam grins, “Can’t not tell them.”

You chuckle a little as you think about it, “You’re going to make Matty cry.”

“What an early birthday present for him, ey?” Carly grins as she gets up to hug you, “But we’re telling him last because he will tell the others before we get a chance to.”

Alex laughs hearing that, “Probably a good idea.” as he pulls Adam into a hug.

“Yeah I know my big mouthed best mate well.” Adam laughs, hugging your boyfriend goodbye.

As you hug Carly, you promise her, “Your little one is going to get so spoiled.”

“I know.” You can hear her smile.

And when you pull away from the hug, you look down towards her stomach and you say directly to baby Hann, “I promise I'll give you all the chocolate you want. I’ll be the best Auntie ever.”

Carly giggles at that and when you look back up at her, she assures you, “You will be.”

“I love you,” You have to hug her again after that, “You’re going to be the best Mum in the world and thank you so much for making my little brother happy and giving him his own family.”

“We love you.” Carly tears up hearing you say that and she gives you a tight squeeze before she pulls back and puts a hand on her stomach and says, “And we can’t wait to meet this little one. He’s going to love you just as much as we do.”

“If you need anything please let me know.” You offer, “Anything, honestly.”

“Well, we might rope you into painting some animals or something in the nursery.” Adam grins as he moves so he can hug you now.

“Just say the word, I’ll bring everything, I’ll do anything.” You offer up your services, as it would be an honour to do for them. You can already picture the room that they would use in their house, it will be so cute.

“You’re going to be the best Dad.” You tell Adam as you squeeze him tightly.

“Don’t make me cry any more.” Adam laughs, “It’s been an emotional few months.”

“I bet.” You giggle before you tell him sincerely, “I love you so much Bro.”

Adam squeezes you tightly, “I love you too B.”

After the couple leave, you and Alex have a silent scream together, entirely buzzing that the family is going to be extended. Alex can’t help but feel like it's his brother that’s having a baby too, he feels just as happy as when all the other Monkeys told him that they were expecting.

But this hitting you so hard as it's your actual family has him feeling the joy even more intensely, and Alex fully intends to marry you one day so Adam is his actual family now too. Both of you know it’s the lives of being an only child that makes it feel even more special, but you’ve never felt so happy for someone before.

“Auntie Y/N/N and Uncle Alex, ey?” Alex brings you out of your thoughts. “Great ring to it.”

“It does, doesn’t it?” You grin and you get a little emotional again.

But that happens for the rest of the day. When you phone your Aunt up, you get in your feelings about hoping that you’ll be as good of an auntie as her to baby Hann and both of you just cry on the phone to each other for a long while as you wait for the others to find out.

You cry when each of the boys phone you after they have been told. It’s unsurprising they started with Ross as he is the most calm and collected of them all. And then they went to George and then Matty and by the time Matty found out it was about 6pm.

Instead of phoning you like he was going to, Matty drove to yours and Alex’s house in the rain so he could get excited with you both in person. And the three of you really did. You were planning gifts for them, Matty had a few ideas of things he wanted to commission you to paint for them (things you will absolutely not be charging for).

The other boys came round later in the evening too to join you and you all had the best time. You did phone Adam and Carly to come back too but they were driving up to Sheffield so they could tell Y/B/F and Charlie before going back to Manchester to tell more of your family.

All of you toast to Adam, Carly, and Baby Hann and the cutest family in the world that they will be. And with how much everyone in your house adores that couple, you know you’re all going to be the happiest family. You have no doubt at all.

~*~*~*~ 11th June 2021 ~*~*~*~

“Do you fancy a road trip?” You question your boyfriend as he stops playing his guitar. You walk into his music room and stand behind him as he’s on his stool to hug him from behind and you pre-warn him, “It’s a long one.”

Alex asks you curiously as he stops playing, “Where to?”

“Well it’s this place right, and someone wrote a song about it.” You try and fail to hold your grin as you answer him without actually answering him, “But it’s going to take us more than a forty-five minute drive to get there but not quite a seven hour flight.”

Alex puts his guitar down hearing and twists around on his stool. You see a surprised yet pleased look on his face, but his smile is bright when he wraps his arms around your waist and asks, “You wanna go back home?”

“Yeah,” You nod, wrapping your arms around his neck as you smile. “I need to go to my old house. My tenants are moving out so I need to decorate and get it back on the market.”

Your boyfriend's smile gets so much bigger hearing that and he excitedly grins, “So we’re going back to 505?”

“Yes.” You giggle loving the grin on his face, “About a week's trip if you’re willing to help me decorate?”

Alex leans forward to kiss you sweetly before nodding, “Course I will.” because there isn’t a chance he would miss going back to where it all started.

“Amazing.” You grin and because you’re a fool and you’re completely and hopelessly in love with the man in front of him, you quickly sit on his lap and shout over to your Amazon speaker, “Echo, play 505 by Arctic Monkeys.”  

And Alex chuckles as the song begins to play before he pulls you into a kiss.

~*~*~*~

Walking into your old home after your tenants handed you the keys back was a little strange. Obviously the place had been gutted and it was back at its barebones, almost exactly how you left it years ago.

Alex joined you at the front door after the family drove away and he held your hand as you unlocked the house and stepped inside. It’s been years since you actually had to come back into this house, and it’s a little eerie being back.

Memories of your childhood and teenage years flood back to you, both happy and sad ones as you both walk around the lounge, dining room, and kitchen. This home ultimately just makes you miss your Dad though, that's the overall feeling when you first walk in.

The memories of you and your friends chilling out in the lounge or kitchen come back to you and make you smile as you wonder back around the rooms that used to be the only home you knew. You find yourself getting really nostalgic as you walk around.

You only have very few memories of your Dad, but the ones you remember of him playing with you when you were a child, you tell Alex as you pass the spots in your old home that they happened in. Alex smiles and asks you questions about him and you answer all of them. You love that he wants to know more about him and what he was like.

Alex was always one of the few friends that always had asked what your Dad was like and that was something you appreciated because you didn’t want to bury his memory like your Mum usually does. So you tell him anecdotes that you either remember yourself or that you’ve been told about as you explore the hold house.

The stories were more family based whilst you were down the stairs, but as soon as you go up the stairs and you open the door to your old bedroom, you go silent. With Alex only a step behind you, the wave of nostalgia really hits you. For the briefest second, when you opened the door you could picture it as your bedroom again.

The old box TV constantly on the music channel in the corner, the low bed, your drawings pinned to your wall, your fairy lights hanging around your window, sheets upon sheets of poetry you printed off for free at school littering your floor. As you step into the room, you can practically picture everything clear as day.

Something feels lighter about being in the room now than it did the last time you were in it. You remember not wanting to be in this house so badly when you left it in 2008, but now it feels less bitter and it only brings back the good memories.

Memories must be flooding back to Alex too, because as you look around Alex watches you as he leans against your door frame and he smiles as he quietly says, “Where it all began, hey?”

Your cheeks go hot hearing that and you try not to grin like an idiot. The memories of that night really hit you hard as you're standing in this room and it's unsurprising when you get a little flustered and have to look away from him.

“How long after did you write the song?” You have to ask as you sit on the edge of the bed frame that the family had left behind.

“God,” Alex chuckles, “It was in the drafts for a while.”

Your boyfriend walks into the room and sits down on the floor in front of you then, looking up at you as he recalls, “I think some of it straight after… But it was mostly when I started thinking about you again when we became really close friends that it got all horny.”

“Teenage you was something else.” You giggle.

“Was just thinking back to us in here every time I saw you and my mind went straight down the gutter.” Alex owns up to it. “Rarely stopped thinking about you Angel.”

You smile hearing your nickname being said in the room he first said it in. But you can’t help but point that out, “You called me that for the first time in here.”

“Almost in the exact same positions, just swapped.” Alex grins, remembering it fondly.

You hum in amusement, “Yeah, didn’t take me giving you head to call it me this time.”

“God,” Alex groans a little, playfully saying, “That was the best night of my life.”

“Not exactly what I recall you saying last weekend, but sure, we will go with the night we lost our virginities.” You laugh a little then as Alex gets to his knees to shuffle forward to kiss you and shut you up.

He kisses you like you’ve both got all the time in the world, which you guess you do. Your fingers lace into his hair which if styled differently, he could probably look like he did back when the both of you lost your virginities.

Alex playfully bites your bottom lip to pull you into another kiss when you went to pull away from him, but you indulge him for a little longer. You try your best not to smile and ruin the moment but it gets a little difficult because you’re so happy.

Your heart feels like it could burst out of your chest with how much you love the man that’s kissing you. You just know he’s it for you, your everything, and the fact you're in the room where it all started has you a little emotional.

When you eventually pull away, you lean your forehead against his just to savour the moment with him.

After a silent minute, it’s Alex who asks as he pulls back and looks around the blank room,  “So where do you want to start?”

“Trip to B&Q and get the beige and white paints for all the rooms and we paint the days away?” You think out loud.

Alex nods approving of your plan and he smiles as he sits back on the floor.

“Sorry it’s a little boring.” You apologise in advance.

You know this won’t be as much fun as you both decorating your house because you’re basically taking the house's character away to let whoever ends up moving in to have a blank canvas to make their own. It will be a lot of boring white, grey, and beige painting of walls for the both of you.

But Alex shakes his head and assures you, “Nothing’s boring with you.”

That makes your heart ache with the love that you have for him again. And instead of saying it for the millionth time today, you show him in your own special way.

You smile as you tap your collarbone and you adore the way that your boyfriend’s face lights up completely. Alex’s own heart swells seeing you tap the words he once wrote you that have proudly displayed on your body and whilst he wants to tell you that he loves you verbally again, he settles for smiling back at you and tapping his own collarbone.

~*~*~*~ June 24th 2021 ~*~*~*~

Today you’ve given yourself the afternoon off painting 505 because it’s your birthday tomorrow and Y/B/F asked if you’d come round and see her which you and Alex currently are doing.

You’ve made plans to go out with them both for your birthday tomorrow and you’d had a great catch up with them. But you and Alex are currently in your old bedroom boxing up the last of your things to move down to your new home.

Both you and your boyfriend were left to do this after your best friend and her fiancé asked if you wouldn’t mind. Of course with not living with her at all anymore, you said it was fine and going through your stuff really wasn’t a hardship. It felt like you were going through your old memories with each thing that you picked up.

Alex is of course being a gem and helping you. And he’s currently taking all of your old books from your shelves and boxing them up for you as you collect the last of your shit from the drawers under your desk.

You’ve been going through things for about half an hour now, and you’ve already filled 3 boxes of stuff when Alex asks, “You’ve never read this have you?”

And when you turn to see which book he means, you immediately know he’s right. You never ended up reading that book he gave you.

It was the book he hand delivered to you that day you were packing to go back over to your Aunt and Uncles for their wedding. The same day Matty came around a little after him and they both made you try your dress on for them, and you remember just thanking Alex for the book and putting it straight on your shelf where you clearly forgot to pick it back up and read it.

“No, I guess we sent that many to each other I never got around to that one. I'm sorry.” You apologise as you walk over to him.

“It’s okay…”Alex smiles, genuinely not minding as it was only an old poetry book at the end of the day. Lot of memories in this book.”

“How'd you mean?” You ask.

Alex taps the book a few times before he reveals, “This was sort of the final nail in the coffin for me and Alexa.”

Of all things, you really weren’t expecting Alex to say that.

“What?” You ask a little dumbfounded.

Alex sighs like he’s finally just got something off his chest, “Yeah.” And you see that he then checks a page near the back of the book and reads over whatever it is before he smiles slightly and closes it again.

Still confused about why a book Alex ended up giving to you helped end his relationship with his ex, you end up needing to get clarity, “I thought that yours and Alexa’s schedules-”

“It was that.” Alex jumps in, confirming your right, “But when she came back to the flat in New York when we were on the break before we properly split, just after we were talking things out she found that book and she read the quote in the back that I annotated about a month after we started on the break of sorts.”

“I don’t remember you telling me about a break.” You say honestly, because you just remember how heart wrenched he was about the split.

“I didn’t want to tell you.” Alex tells you honestly, “I didn’t tell anyone, until now I guess.”

“I loved her but I wasn’t in love with her anymore and this proved it.” Alex shakes the book in his hand, not looking sad about anything, maybe just a little nostalgic which you understand.

But you can’t say you’re not curious when Alex explains, “She wasn’t angry or upset with what she saw, probably the reason why we’re still on alright terms because we’d been growing apart for a while before that anyway… But yeah, she read that and she was moving her stuff the same afternoon, and the day after I was on the phone to you telling you I was coming home.”

It seems a lot to process as you’ve not heard about any of this before now. But you have to know what’s been lying dormant on your shelf all these years.

“What did you write?” You ask curiously.

Alex hands you the book, his finger holding the page open for you, “Read it.”

And when you open it, you really weren’t expecting what you found.

~~~

“I fell in love with her courage, her sincerity, and her flaming self-respect. And it’s these things I’d believe in, even if the whole world indulged in wild suspicions that she wasn’t all she should be. I love her and that’s the beginning and end of everything.”

- F. Scott Fitzgerald

This is how I feel about you Angel, always and forever. AT x

~~~

“You're an idiot.” You shake your head as you read the quote and his writing over and over again.

Alex knows he is. The month that he and Alexa went on their break he had been leaning on your friendship so much more and just from that month and every other part of your history, it made him realise his huge mistake.

And reading that poetry book that he found in particular which was all about love, it made him think so much of what he had felt for you in the past and what never really went away, and not what he was feeling for Alexa anymore. It was when he knew he needed to call it off for good.

Alexa just happened to pick up the book to see if it was hers but when she opened it and saw that at the back, they both knew it was time. Time to separate and go back home and for him to deal with his real feelings.

Alex doesn’t expect it, but when you look back up at him he sees that you’re a little teary eyed when you say, “You could have saved us a lot of time if you told me I needed to read this back when you handed it to me.”

Your heart feels like it's swelling and aching with longing in your chest as you tell your boyfriend, “This is the shit I dreamed of happening to me when I was younger.”

Alex pulls you into a hug, and you hold him tightly still not fully believing that has been on your shelf for the past decade and you’d not once touched it.

Your boyfriend makes you chuckle when he playfully says, “I think it’s your fault you didn’t read it sooner, if I'm honest.”

Knowing he’s only joking, you chuckle as you say earnestly, “I really wish I had done now.” and you hold him impossibly closer.

“It's always been you Y/N/N,” Alex tells you, and he kisses your temple before he admits, “Just took me a long while to realise it.”

You genuinely have to take a few minutes in his arms to process it, and when you eventually do, you look up at the love of your life and tell him once again, “I love you, Shakespeare.”

“I love you so much more, Angel.” Your boyfriend smiles before he leans down and kisses you sweetly.

Just as you’re about to let each other go and get back to your separate jobs, a voice shouting the both of you stops you.

“You two best not be shagging in the baby's future room!” You hear Y/B/F yell but it makes you and Alex stop dead.

You’re frozen in your spot for a solid few seconds just looking at your boyfriend as you both process the words you just heard. You have to ask him, “Did she just?”

“She did.” Alex answers immediately and he looks to your old bedroom door.

Both of you walk towards it and immediately walk back into the lounge seeing Y/B/F and Charlie sitting there with grins on their faces. You don’t have to ask because you know from the look on her face that she said that on purpose and that she is pregnant.

But you don’t blame Alex for wanting the confirmation, “Are you?”

Both of them nod before saying, “We’re pregnant.”

The way you dive for Y/B/F would be funny to her if she wasn’t already getting teary. The hug she receives is the best and biggest you’ve probably ever given each other but how can you not when your best friend since you were 3 years old has just told you that she’s expecting her own baby.

This is again another thing you really weren’t expecting to happen today and the mascara running down your cheeks is enough proof of that. You sit and cry with your best friend for a solid five minutes as you get information out of her.

“You can’t tell anyone yet, it's too early, but I missed my period and only just realised.” She tells you as you wipe each other's tears away, “Charlie got us in with his friend for a quick scan after the test came back positive… I’m ten weeks.”

Tears are freely running down your face when you ask, “When did you find out?”

“Yesterday.” She tells you, “I was going to phone you, but then Charlie phoned his friend and got us the appointment for yesterday afternoon just to make sure everything was fine because I didn’t know and I’ve had a few drinks this past month.”

“And everythings okay?” You have to know before she continues explaining.

“Yeah, everything's fine.” Y/B/F nods, getting emotional again as she confirms, “We’re all fine and healthy. ”

Your best friend grabs your hand as she continues, “And then I was going to tell you to come last night but you’d already texted asking if you could come today and I wanted to tell you both in person.”

She looks at Alex then and you look at him for the first time since you found out and it makes you more emotional when you see he’s all teary eyed for her. You can see the love he has for her plain as day on his features and you feel like you probably look the exact same. This is just as important to you as finding out Adam is having a baby.

You get a little nostalgic, thinking back to the days when you used to think about this moment in your futures, and you ask your best friend, “Remember when we always thought we’d both find out if one of us was pregnant when we’re with each other?”

“I was telling Charlie.” She laughs nodding, and looks at her fiance who looks just as emotional as the rest of you.

“She said you’d be pissed she wasn’t with you when she did the test.” The nurse tells you with a little laugh.

“Not angry, don't worry.” You chuckle and wipe away your tears, “Just very very happy.”

And after you give your best friend a kiss on her cheek you get up to give Alex a moment with her whilst you open your arms up to her fiance.

“Charlie, give me a hug please.” And he doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you tightly.

You hug and talk for a little while as you tell him how happy you are for the both of them. And of course you cry a little, but for you and Charlie that’s standard. That’s how your friendship began and you don’t plan on changing anything about that.

And then you think about what brought him into your life and you can’t believe that it was almost 8 years ago now.

“Don’t shout at me for saying it, but I really never thought I would say it and actually mean it,” And you’re entirely honest when you say, “But I’ve never been so happy that car crash happened.”

And you do actually mean it. You’d go through it all again if it meant everyone in your life would be as happy as they are right now.

“Shut up, you idiot.” Y/B/F scorns you straight away but you don’t care. But she does make you smile when she says, “I would have found him anyway... It was fate we would meet. I have no doubt about it.”

“I do too.” You laugh a little, having no doubt about it. But then you look at your best friend and really look at her and how happy she is and tears spring to your eyes again. You can’t help but tell her, “God, I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” She pulls you in for another big hug and you wish you could stay in it forever.

You truly love this woman more than any other on the planet. Yes, you always call George your soulmate but in reality it’s this woman in your arms that has got you through every part of your life. And you’ll love her forever for being there for you as much as she has.

You can’t wait for her to have this baby and eventually marry Charlie who is the person that makes her the happiest in the world… Wait, the wedding.

“And before the wedding,” You shake your head and look down at her stomach and tap it gently, gently scorning the baby, “You’re ruining the hen party I’ve planned out, young one.”

They are due to get married in 2 months time. After all the push backs they have had because of the pandemic, you know they won't postpone again, but this means you definitely can’t be doing the things you’ve planned for the hen party. But you guess you’ll let your unborn niece or nephew off just this once.

Charlie, Alex, and Y/B/F laugh hearing you say that and you chuckle a little too as your best friend promises you, “We will go all out as soon as they arrive, I promise… Two drinks and I'll be plastered then after not drinking for so long.”

After an afternoon full of crying and telling each other you love each other a million times, your best friend hugs tightly as you’re saying goodbye to each other and whispers, “Happy early birthday present.”

You grin as you try your best not to burst into more tears, you’re so happy, “Best birthday ever.”

~*~*~*~ July 6th 2021 ~*~*~*~

For the last month with only a few days off for your birthday, you’ve been finishing up 505 and you must admit, for days you couldn’t wait to be done. Decorating was tiring but also really fun when you have your best friend who’s also your boyfriend at your side helping you out.

Alex made everything fun. Whether that just be his playful nature or keeping you motivated with the amazing playlist he put together to keep you going it always did the trick. His flirting was also encouraging, even if sometimes it ended up hindering your progress.

For example, when you both got to decorating your old bedroom, the flirting was off the charts. Your cheeks were hot all day and it got no better when you ended up having a small fight with the paints that ended up with both of your clothes coming off and paint ended up everywhere. On your legs, on your arms, on your face, and other places that the both of you found comical when you had to wash it off each other in the shower.

The way each of you could tell where your hands had been was the funniest part of it and it made your cheeks heat up as you could practically still feel his touch all over you with the visual reminder helping the memories come back.

And whilst that was a fun day, the rest of the days all seemed to blur into one long and boring project. You just wanted to add more colour to everything but you knew you couldn’t for the sake of the new tenants.

But today is the day. You’ve finally finished painting the entire house.

Everything looks clean and brand new and you’re so fucking thankful its all done. And you can tell Alex is too.

You lean back into your boyfriend as he wraps his arms around your waist and hugs you from behind. Smiling at the trail of kisses he presses onto your shoulder and up your neck, you praise the both of you, “We finally finished.”

“I think we should celebrate.” Alex says as he leaves a teasing kiss on your neck.

“We can’t shag again, Al.” You shake your head, knowing that you really can’t.

Yes the time in your old bedroom was fun, but you’re decorating for it to be someone else's home. You can’t defile it before you put it back up to rent out.

He laughs into your ear which makes you chuckle too, but you feel him shake his head, “No, look outside… The weather is stunning. Let's go get some food from the shop and a bottle of something and let's go to the park. We can’t stay in here, the paint fumes will kill us off.”

You smile knowing that ‘go to the park’ means go to your spot. And you think it’s a good idea.

“Get a taxi back to the flat later then?” You crane your neck so you can look back at him.

“Yeah,” Alex nods, “It's going to be a stunning evening. Let's grab a blanket and some wine and food and let's just stay in the park.”

You’re grinning like an idiot, “Yeah, good idea.”

And the both of you are sitting under your cherry blossom tree within an hour of leaving 505. The air is warm and you end up having a picnic of sorts to start off with.

Both of you got a lot of food from the shop before coming here and you both indulged in all the food you chose. You put the blanket down underneath the tree that is still looking glorious and such a vibrant pink in today's sunlight, and after the picnic you and Alex lay there for a while just relaxing and listening to music.

When you were packing up the last of your stuff at Y/B/F and Charlie’s the other day, you picked up Persuasion to reread and you brought that with you to finish off too. Alex had his own book he was reading so the both of you read peacefully for a long while.

Eventually the two of you needed more light as the sun kept shifting, so the both of you moved to the bench after a little while. And you lay down across it with your head resting on Alex’s thigh as you both continue to read.

Absent-mindedly, you end up holding each other's hand when you get immersed into your novels as Alex’s hand hangs across the back of the bench and you’re ever so slightly reaching up and keep interlacing your fingers with his. It’s peaceful and it's beautiful and you wouldn’t change anything about it and neither would your boyfriend.

The peace is only disturbed if either of you speak up, which isn’t all that often, but when you reread the letter in the book you just get the urge to want to read it out loud so your boyfriend can hear the beautiful words that are on the page as well, “Al, listen to this-”

“What's it about first?” Alex has to ask, needing even just a little bit of context so he can appreciate what you clearly think is good enough for you to want to tell him out loud.

“You’ve not read Persuasion? Austen?” You look up at him and ask curiously, thinking he would have definitely read this one in his time.

But you're left a little surprised when he shakes his head, “No.”

“You want me to tell you?” You ask and Alex smiles and nods prompting you to continue. You explain to him, “Long story short, she was persuaded not to marry this man nearly a decade ago and now he’s just written this to her and it's everything.”

“Okay go on,” Alex prompts you, and Alex listens and watches as you read it for him.

“I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. You alone have brought me to Bath. For you alone, I think and plan. Have you not seen this? Can you fail to have understood my wishes? I had not waited even these ten days, could I have read your feelings, as I think you must have penetrated mine. I can hardly write. I am every instant hearing something which overpowers me. You sink your voice, but I can distinguish the tones of that voice when they would be lost on others. Too good, too excellent creature! You do us justice, indeed.” You trail off a little before the end of the letter Frederick writes to Anne.

You look up into Alex’s eyes and ask, “How beautiful is that? Austen was a fucking genius.”

Alex is already smiling down at you, but he nods, “She really was.”

You talk about it for a little bit before going back to the books again. But silently the both of you think over the line ‘I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it’ a little bit more because you find it so relatable in so many different ways.

But being here with Alex by your side now, you wouldn’t change anything about your own story for the world. You’re the happiest you’ve ever been here with your boyfriend and you love him so much you can sometimes barely find the words to describe how he makes you feel.

The amount of times over the past year you’ve stared at the page in your poetry diary for a good ten minutes wondering where on earth to start writing about how you feel about Alex is something you’ve lost count of. At this point, he is just an extension of yourself. You love him so much that your heart aches in the best way for him all the time.

Even as you spend your day with him doing nothing but reading out here, in your spot in the park, it’s not a waste of a day. And that’s because he’s by your side. You adore spending time with him no matter what you’re doing.  

You end up finishing your book and sitting up beside Alex where you rest your head on his shoulder and look out across the stunning view of Sheffield. It really is a gorgeous place that you grew up in. You miss being here all the time but you’re happy that you always have the excuse to come back up here to see your best friend and to come back to this spot which means the world to you.

Alex ends up putting his book down not long after you and the both of you watch the world go by as the sun slowly starts descending making the sky change colours with it. As it does, Alex starts playing with the jewellery you have on which isn’t all that different from what your quiet moments in your own home end up like.

But this time, your boyfriend smiles as he twists your Death Ramps ring on your little finger with one hand and he hooks his finger into the bracelet he bought you which has the Only Ones Who Know lyrics engraved onto it. Alex sounds really happy as he says, “I’m really happy you still wear these, you know?”

“Well,” You respond playfully, “The person who gave them me means a lot to me.”

Alex smiles and plays along, “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You nod in confirmation, your smile never leaving your lips.

“Sounds like a great guy.” Alex tries not to grin but fails.

“He is.” You confirm for him, “The best I could ask for really... My boyfriend and everything now.”

“Lucky man.” Alex smiles.

You him like you’re not so sure but only because you want to say, “Not as lucky as me.”

The small facade ends when Alex leans in to kiss you, and you kiss him back enjoying the cute moment between you. It’s short and sweet, but it serves the purpose despite the both of you grinning like fools in love through the entire kiss.

“I love you so much.” Alex tells you as he looks into your eyes.

“I love you too, Darling.” You smile, not having called him that nickname in a short while.

“Thank god,” Alex sighs in relief, and you’re about to ask why the playfulness until he continues and it all becomes clear. Despite the big cheesy grin on his face, you know that he isn’t joking when he asks, “Because I really wanted to ask if you’d marry me?”

And then Alex lifts a boxed ring up from beside him and offers it to you, his smile never once wavering.

Yours becomes a million times bigger, as the fact he has a ring in his hand means he’s been planning this for God only knows how long, and the moment was perfect. You don’t waste another second before giving him your answer.

“I’d love to marry you.” You nod, your heart beating erratically in your chest.

“Thank god.” Alex chuckles and before he lets you lean forward and kiss him, he grabs your left hand and he quickly takes the ring out of the box before sliding it onto your finger.

As soon as it’s on, you kiss Alex like your life depends on it. Everything you’re feeling right now is poured into the kiss and it is just pure joy and complete love and adoration for the man you now get to one day marry.

You love him with the whole of your heart and you truly want nothing more than to be his officially. Because you always have been his, one way or another.

You kiss each other until you have no breath left and until you can’t keep the smile off your face as you’re too desperate to tell him you love him over and over again. Alex doesn’t hesitate to keep telling you either.

But once the both of you process the moment enough to tell each other something other than your love for one another, Alex lifts your hand up which is now home to your engagement ring and he asks, “Do you like it?”

You look at it properly now, and it’s just like what you’d always dreamed of sitting on your ring finger. Taking it in and seeing just how happy your fiance is has you telling him, “It’s beautiful.”

Truthfully, you don’t think you’ll ever forget how big Alex’s grin gets as he simply says, “Had to match you.”

And you’re unsure how your heart doesn’t burst there and then. The ache of too much love for the person who’s been your best friend for so many years whilst simultaneously being so much more really overcomes you.

You almost want to scorn him when he gets in there before you to say again, “I love you so much, Angel.”

“I love you so much more Shakespeare.” You giggle, “I can’t wait to marry you.”

Alex nods, chuckling to himself as he reiterates those words back to you before he cups your face and pulls you into another kiss of a lifetime.

Austen really got it right. Your heart is more Alex’s than your own at this point. You’ve been through it all together and despite everything, he’s here by your side and you love him with everything you have.

You’re his Angel. He’s your Shakespeare.

Each other’s everything from the very start.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: Thank you so so much to everyone who has stuck with me as I’ve been writing this fic. It really means a lot and I really hope you enjoyed the story and Wheels and Alex’s ending! Their story doesn’t really stop here… I mentioned a surprise that you’d all shout at me about and the surprise is that a small part of Alex and Wheels ending has been posted on my main account since before I ever posted the first part of NRIACC (told you you’d shout at me lol)… That little oneshot All Of You is a little extra part of their ending that I hope you can read/reread now and enjoy a little more. Can also catch Wheels and Alex’s ending continuing from a distance in Chicken Shop Date and they will appear in Part 5 of it when it eventually comes out (it’ll be faster than this fic I promise).

Anyway, just want to again say a huge thank you for sticking with my mental story and I really really hope you enjoyed the ending x

Note: I picked a few poems out for Wheels poems (wish i could have said i wrote them all but I'm not that good). I wrote the one that was about Matty. My friend @drinkurkombucha​ wrote the poems that have titles above them, and the others I found on Instagram. Full credit to the writers of those ones, a few were by courtney peppernell others were found on the lovequotes instagram page.

Taglist: @psychkunox​​​​​​​ @sofiaaraee​​​​​​​ @thewheeler​​ @cold-hands-cold-eyesss​​​​​​​ @xovalliegirlxo​​​​​​​ @vroboat​​​​​​​ @hoodskillerqueen​​​​​​ @woahhealy​​​​​​​ @emmaheg1005 @belledawnidk​​​​​​​ @elen-alambil​​​​​​​ @megann-duff​​​ @alexsvacuumcleaner​​​​​​​ @bshelley322​​​​​​​ @g0thwat3rr​​​​​​​ @cassieinnit​​​​​​​ @ohmyolympusssywp​​ @filling-thevoid​​​​​​ @xqueenkt​​​​​​​ @indierock4ever @amturners​​​​​​​ @alovesreading​​​​​​​​

[nriacc]

Playing On My Mind | NRIACC: Part 29 |

Nothing Revealed In A Common Crisis

Plot by @imagine-that-100​ and @ghostlightqueen

Written by @imagine-that-100​​

Description: | Here |

Word Count: 19.1k

Warnings: This series contains mature content and themes throughout

A/N: Can't believe this is the second to last chapter before the endings. Hope you all enjoy it and hope you enjoy the final drama I have to offer you all before this rollercoaster of a story comes to an end. Leeds Fest was fucking mental and it was one of the best weekends ever, seeing both bands up close was so stunning and my first time seeing Arctic Monkeys live didn't disappoint at all. And hope anyone getting tickets yesterday and today got them and are happy, I know I am. Anyway, hope you all enjoy this chapter! Thanks a million for reading x

| Series Masterlist | N’s Masterlist | NRIACC Playlists | The Band’s Info | Read on Wattpad | Read on AO3 |

~*~*~*~ August 2019 ~*~*~*~

The dates had snuck up on you. After dismissing the notifications all week about Leeds Fest, it’s finally caught up with you.

Truthfully, you’re scared about the impending ‘I told you so’, even if it didn’t happen in the context Matty thought it would. But it still made you hesitant to even want to sort things out with Matty.

And now you’ve run out of time. You wanted to get things sorted before the August bank holiday weekend so you could see your boys at Reading and Leeds.

But now you’ve left it too long and you’re not sure you can take the heartache of Matty telling you to piss off like you’re sure he would. It’s what you’d have done if you hadn’t just had the massive wakeup call that was your argument with Alex, which was practically yours and Matty’s argument but in reverse.

You truly understand why you must have aggravated Matty so much that night when you kept calling him jealous now, you’d been accused of the same thing. That night you were in the wrong, and you can see that now.

Hindsight is a great thing; you’ve reflected on what happened and realised that you were drunk and completely overreacting. Yes, your feelings were hurt and your feelings on how it happened are still completely valid, but you can now admit to yourself that Matty wasn’t entirely in the wrong.

So that just leaves you with the question, do you go to Leeds Fest and risk being turned away or do you save yourself the embarrassment and wait until your Manchester boys are back?

~*~*~*~ August 23rd 2019 ~*~*~*~

The decision was made for you when you realised that you weren’t even going to be able to catch The 1975 after Reading and Leeds. They were back off to America to finish up their American tour the day after they finished their shows, so Leeds was your only chance.

You didn’t tell anybody you were coming today, and if you were honest, you truthfully only convinced yourself a matter of hours ago that you were actually going to come. That would be why you were running really really late.

So late you missed all of the first day at Leeds and you were only given your passes and wristbands to get in as you could hear their self-titled song play and the audience shouting along. You’ve never stuck a backstage upgrade sticker to your jeans so fast or threw on an All-Access pass so quickly and you ran to the main stage from the drop off point at the guest area. You’ll never thank the boys enough for keeping you on their guestlist.

You get to the side of the stage just after your boys have gone on. And you truly mean you opened the curtain to the side of the stage seconds after they walked on. George had just made it to the kit and the crowd got incredibly loud watching them filter onto the stage.

So you end up watching their set from the side of the stage, just near their guitar techs. You keep out of the way, no one bothering you because of the sticker on your leg which lets you be there. Watching them perform their first single from their new album Notes On A Conditional Form leaves you spellbound as you listen and watch your boys play People for the first time live leaves you in awe.

And seeing the audience enjoying it, after it only being out a day, makes you and the boys on stage so happy. Matty puts on his front man persona and he’s fucking brilliant as per usual. His unhinged behaviour towards Adam makes you giggle, and it does for the rest of the gig.

Hearing Depth before they played Robbers about halfway through the show was new and interesting and seeing their visuals for Notes that Adam had asked you to draw up a few months earlier really make you smile. It’s fucking awesome and a nice change from An Encounter going into one of your favouite songs of theirs.

Falling For You makes you a little emotional, just as 505 does sometimes. It’s another song that’s so deeply rooted into your soul that you don’t think it ever won’t mean the world to you. You find yourself holding your 102 necklace to your heart as you listen to your curly haired brunette sing that one.

Just after this song, Carly finds you standing next to the guitar tech’s station and she pulls you into a hug, completely shocked and ecstatic to see you. She assures you that the boys will be too, which warms your heart a little, but you’re sort of glad they haven’t seen you yet. Praise the huge boxes that they have at each side of the stage.

It doesn’t block your view entirely though. You can see that Matty is wearing the merch that reads ‘This is a Fugazi t-shirt’ that you bought him for Christmas makes you smile. It looks good under his black suit too.

And you certainly don’t miss George stripping off his blazer for a minute whilst he takes his shirt off. You’re almost gutted that he puts the blazer back on and doesn’t stay completely on show for you.

The rest of the show is fucking brilliant and having Carly by you side for the rest of it makes you have an even better time. You laugh, you dance, you both certainly feel like crying with how proud of the boys you are.

But what you weren’t expecting was to see any of them before their show completely finished, but as it turns out they were treating the Notes version of The 1975 as their encore break.

And you only realised that when Ross was walking towards you and his entire face lit up realising you were there watching them just off stage. He rushes towards you, trapping you in a massive hug, “You came!”

“Of course I came.” You chuckle as you wrap your arms around him.

You feel like you’re hugging home as you get to hug your boys. And with each one it makes you more emotional.

George is next over and you don’t think he’s ever looked so excited to see you.

“Baby.” George doesn’t hesitate to offer his arms out for a hug.

“Hiya Georgiepie.” You laugh but you shake your head, “No, you’re so sweaty.”

And you almost mean it. There’s sweat dripping off him, but he is using his towel to try and soak everything up. Truth be told, you’re also still not quite used to him not having long hair anymore, so he looks even sweatier.

“You want to lick me,” George states, not believing you for a second after catching you glancing at his chest, “The least you can do is hug me.”

“No need to out me.” You chuckle when you’re pulled into his sweaty chest, but you don’t complain.  

The second you’re in his arms, he picks you up and spins you around as you hug each other. You can’t stop the laugh that falls from your lips.

When your feet are back on the ground again, you get emotional when you hear your cousin excitedly call out for you, “B!”

“Hiya Bro.” You grin, turning around and rushing into Adam’s arms.

The tears come then when you hold your cousin for a solid minute and tell him just how proud of him you are. Equally, Adam gets just as emotional thanking you for the surprise of you coming and because of the relief of what he’s just accomplished is almost finished.

It truly is a dream come true for him and you can’t wait for him to tell you every tiny detail about how it felt like they all used to do when they came off stage years ago.

After you let your cousin go, you expect the inevitable interaction with Matty which could still go either way, but you don’t find him anywhere near you. In fact, you find him to still be on the stage, clearly not planning to come off at all.

Your cousin informs you that this was in fact always the plan. Matty was going to stay on stage to try and make people listen to the environmental message they were trying to promote, so you keep to the side of the stage with the other boys, who are having a quick but well-deserved drink, and you keep your eyes fixed on Matty.

During the Greta speech, you watch as Matty watches the crowd. The glow from the huge screens on either side of the stage and behind makes it so you can see the crowd stirring, but you know that Matty must just be a silhouette to them.

It’s interesting watching him watch them. Really, all you can see is his body language, but to you it’s like he’s taking everything in. Appreciating every second of seeing everyone there for him, and in this moment they are there for him and only him considering the others aren’t on stage anymore.

It makes you emotional seeing how heavy he’s breathing. This is everything he’s ever wanted. He must be filled with such excitement and joy and every positive emotion that there is, you can’t even begin to think of how overjoyed he must be.

He’s headlined Leeds Fest. Glasgow Summer Sessions is tomorrow, and Reading’s on Sunday. He’s done it.

These were weekends he used to dream of. You remember lying on his bed in Denise’s house back in Wilmslow with Matty’s head on your stomach, your hands playing with his curls, with him telling you all of these hopes and dreams.

And he’s there living it right in front of you. Something which gets you all emotional all over again, leaving you teary eyed as your cousin pulls you into another side hug as you watch Matty slowly pace the stage.

Your curly haired brunette breaks his concentration on the crowd and turns to the side of the stage that you and the band are standing on. And you’re sure he’s searching for George because he looks like he’s about to shout something to him, but when his eyes land on you he stops.

Before you even get to smile or get a hold of your emotions, Matty abandons his position on stage and starts walking straight over. You’re sure your heart stops and you’re certainly holding your breath as he approaches you and you panic a little when Adam lets go of you to clearly give you and Matty a bit of privacy. Not that you even look where your cousin disappears off to though, your eyes are fixed on your curly haired brunette.

Matty comes to the side of the stage, coming into the darkness where you are, and stops a few steps in front of you. All the while you’re still holding your breath, really not knowing how this reaction was going to go.

The yellow glow of the screen at the back of the stage illuminates your curly haired brunette’s face and you truly can’t read him now. He’d been clear as day to read whilst he was performing but him standing here now you can’t pick out anything and his voice doesn’t give anything away either.

He states plainly, void from any emotion, “You’re here.”

You give him a small nod, “Yeah.”

“You’re actually here.” There’s slight shock in Matty’s voice as he takes a step closer.  

“I am.” You say with a little more confidence.  

“Fucking hell Wheels,” Relief pours into your curly haired brunettes voice as he takes a step closer and pulls you into him so he can hug you. Both of you hold each other so tight, you’re certain that you won’t want to let go.

It’s been so long, the embrace actually makes you emotional. It feels so fucking good to be back in your best friends arms, you’ve missed him so fucking much.

“I thought you hadn’t come.” Hearing him say that over the song still coming through the speakers completely breaks your heart.

It’s clear that the both of you are completely overwhelmed by being back in each other's presence you can’t quite believe it. But you assure your curly haired brunette by holding him that bit tighter and you lift your head up from being buried into his chest so Matty hears you.

He can tell just how much you mean it when you say, “Wouldn’t have missed this for the world Matty.”

That seems to make Matty want to see your face then. You’re unsure whether it’s to check if you’re being genuine or not or if he just wanted to reaffirm that you’re actually standing in his arms.

He looks dazed as you take him in. Like he’s not entirely with it, but you know the signs when he’s using so you know that he is 100% sober. He’s just running on pure adrenaline.

And you’re about to tell him how much you enjoyed the show he’d just put on for everyone, but his lips take up yours. The kiss is a shock but not an unpleasant one and you don’t think much about kissing him back.

It’s always been simple between you and Matty. Kissing him is like second nature, something that was always meant to happen between you and who are you to stop it now.

After a few long seconds, the both of you pull away but the feeling it stirs up in both of you definitely lingers. Matty’s thumb stroking your cheek keeps you in the moment and you get lost looking into those beautiful brown eyes of his.

You truly think you could stay in the moment looking at each other like this forever. But the crowd gets a little loud again bringing the both of you out of your little bubble.

Both of you share a smile before Matty drops his hand from your cheek and grabs your hand. He pulls you a little closer to the side of the stage and says, “Wheels, look.”

Due to how important you know this is for him, you’re happy to let your differences slide for tonight. You’ll have a lot to talk about tomorrow and you won’t be letting anything go but you let him have this.

You’re not quite sure Matty knows it’s 2019 anymore anyway. You feel like you’ve been taken back to 2013 and you’re happy to not hold any kiss against Matty tonight. He’s completely overcome with euphoria and you’re not going to ruin that.

The both of you stop with a good view of the thousands of fans filling the field entirely and your heart bursts for your Manchester boys. They truly have done it. They’ve made it and there’s people as far as the eye can see. Just like it was when the Monkeys last headlined.

This somehow feels even more special though. This is all for them. They are the headliners. The last to go on. Everyone is here for them.

You remember Matty’s excited phone calls from back when he was 16 and could go to Leeds Fest for the first time and he’d tell you just how much fun he had and that he couldn’t wait to go the following year. He’d tell you how he waited at the front to see his favourites on the stage and how he promised you that one day when the band was big enough to headline Leeds, he would have your name first on the list to come and see them.

He would tell you about his dreams to headline Leeds Fest, about how it couldn’t be topped by any other gig they could get offered because they had attended this festival since they were allowed to get in. It was such a big part of their childhood and a big part of their drive to be the amazing band that they are.

It’s truly no surprise you have tears in your eyes and you let them well up as Matty traps you in a hug from behind and rests his head on your shoulder so he can take it in too. You’re really not listening to the Notes version of the song The 1975 at this point, you’re just loving seeing the crowd cheer for them, wanting their encore sooner rather than later.

Matty’s voice is the next thing to draw your attention back though. “It’s all for us, Wheels.” Your curly haired brunette whispers in your ear placing a small kiss just below it on your neck.

You correct him, resting your hands over his arms, “It’s all for you, Matty.” and you lean back into him.

“There is no me without you. You’ve given me all of this.” Matty gestures to the crowd in front of you before his arm returns around your waist, “They sing your songs back at me and it’s all for you... I’ll never be able to thank you enough.”

Whilst you appreciate the sentiment, it’s all his creative genius and hard work that’s got him this far. And you’re about to tell him that but the way in which you can feel how much he means the way he says his next sentence makes you not argue.

“You’ve made my dreams come true, Sweetheart.” His arms around your waist squeeze you that bit tighter when he looks over your shoulder to the sea of fans in front of him with glassy eyes. You feel him place a small kiss on your shoulder before he whispers, “This is all I’ve ever wanted.” and you hear his voice crack.

“It’s all you, Matty.” You assure him as you slot your fingers between his so you can sort of hold his hand from the position you’re in.

Both of you watch the restless crowd for a minute more until you know that he’s got to go back on stage. The long speech is about to end when Matty pleads, “Let me hug you.” and you don’t deny him or yourself that pleasure.

Turning in his arms, you wrap your arms around his shoulders as his tighten around your waist. The both of you stand there savouring it with your hearts thudding erratically from the buzz of the gig and you can feel the relief pour into your system that Matty is back in your arms and you already know that everything will be alright between you.

“I’ve missed you so much, Sweetheart.” You almost miss him say because you're so invested in the tight embrace. Things feel right again. He makes you feel like you’re home.

You whisper right into his ear before burying your head into his neck, “I’ve missed you too Curly.”

After a quiet second, Matty starts to say, “I’m s-”

“I know.” You interrupt him because you don’t need apologies now, you don’t need to bring his mood down. “I am too.”

You share a small smile that speaks it all. And for now, that’s all that’s needed.

Hearing that the speech playing through the speakers is almost done, you nod over to the crowd and change the subject when you tell Matty with a grin as the crowd cheers, “I think they want you back.”

“Just a minute more.” Matty doesn’t move his arms from around you, now making both of you sway in your hug and it makes your heart burst the way he looks at you with a big smile on his face.  

You promise him, “I’ll be right here when you get back.” and you end up adding with a cheeky grin.

“Besides, I need to hear that I’ve got a boyfriend anyway.” You laugh a little, smiling up at him so brightly when you plead, “Need you to sing me my song, Curly.”

That seems to make his day because the smile doesn’t leave his face at all. “Is it still your favourite?”

Chuckling you nod, “Yeah. Wore my high tops for you n’ everything.”

“That’s my Wheels.” Matty laughs looking down and seeing that you are indeed wearing your black and white hightop Vans.

“Thank you for coming, Sweetheart.” Matty hugs you that bit tighter before he repeats, “Thank you so much.”

Pulling out of the hug, you stay close. And you let your emotions get the better of you because this time you lean in and kiss him yourself.

Matty responds just how he’s done every other time you’ve kissed each other. This time it’s one that the both of you savour and one that you hope screams ‘I’m so proud of you’.

“I love you.” You tell him when you pull away.

And you know Matty knows you don’t mean that you’re in love with him. You mean it in the way you’ll always love each other. Because regardless of everything else you’re his best friend, which is why Matty doesn’t for a second hesitate to reply, “I love you too.”

After that, you push him back on stage and the others filter past you giving you a smile. Clearly they are all pleased to see you and Matty back to being friends again.

The band go on and give their encore of a lifetime. Love It If We Made It is first and it gets the crowd back into gear straight away. You never for a second thought you’d hear an entire field scream ‘We’re fucking in a car, shooting heroin’ but it makes you giggle when it happens.

Chocolate obviously gets the crowd just as rowdy because even the people that are at this festival that don’t know the band very well all know this song. It’s an old banger that gets everyone going just as much as Girls did.

Your curly haired brunette looked over to you and grinned when the set moved on and he started playing his opening chord of Sex. Teasing the crowd with that D chord which makes all the girls on the barrier scream when they realise what they are about to hear. Matty blows you a kiss just before starting the song off properly which makes you laugh.

However, minutes later you start crying again when Matty tells the crowd to ‘fucking jump’ during The Sound because you can see the sea of people in front of you do exactly what they’re told. It’s fucking mental to you how your boys are making people have the time of their lives, jumping to their live music and it goes as far as the eye can see.

Your heart is bursting for them. You’ve never been so proud.

Coming off stage, Matty kisses you again but once again you just let him because it’s clearly so adrenaline induced. You couldn’t tell him off anyway because George comes off and does exactly the same thing, which you find funny because Matty kissed George on his walkway once they’d finished before the gentle giant threw his sticks.

Ross traps you in the biggest hug that your cousin breaks but you’re only pleased because you can give him the biggest hug. You make sure to tell him just how proud you are and you don’t let him go for a solid while. Not that Adam is complaining, you’re certain he’s trying to take in and process just how much the last two hours have meant to him.

Before any of you know it, there’s an after party happening around you. In The 1975’s section, you end up finding Tim, Matty’s Dad, and you’re pleased to see that he’s doing well.

You don’t think you’ve ever ran into your Aunt or Uncle’s arms faster than when you saw them tonight. Turns out they had been up on the viewing platform above the sound booth in the field so they had a good view of the show so it was so nice to see them just as emotional and proud of Adam and the boys as you.

As the party kicks off you get introduced to a load of people so you do end up losing sight of your family for a while. You were introduced to people like Mike and Ben from Royal Blood, the guys in The Wombats, and Charli XCX, which is still fucking mental to you after being forced to meet multiple celebs over the years.

Before you all got side tracked with the party though, Matty pulled you into their bus with the band whilst they all quickly changed and he was the first to bring up the past. “I know we’ve got a lot to talk about, but can we just have tonight?” Your curly haired brunette asks, “Or we can talk tonight if you want to.”

“It’s okay,” You assure him, because you were going to suggest the same, “We can talk tomorrow.”

Matty smiles at that, appreciating it and now he’s certain that nothing can bring a downer on his night. It just gets even better when he asks with a hopeful grin, “Are you coming to Summer Sessions with us?”

The repetition of ‘please’ in his mind seems to do him wonders because you nod, “If you’ll have me?”

“Course we’ll have you.” Matty grins and who are changing behind Matty near their bunks cheer.

George is the first to bundle out, quickly throwing his arm around your shoulders now he’s freshly dressed and he pulls you into his side. The smirk doesn’t leave his lips as he says, “Yeah, you can sleep in my bed.”

Unsurprisingly, you flirt back with him, “With you there too?”

“Where else?” George gives it right back which makes you want to laugh.

But what actually makes you giggle is when Matty draws your eyes back to him pointing between you and the drummer saying, “I still don’t appreciate this.”

“He is my soulmate to be fair.” You joke, resting your hand on George’s chest and leaning into him a little more.

Matty just ends up rolling his eyes and moving slightly down to his bunk so he can change.

“She’s mine this evening... Come on Y/N/N,” George announces and begins to steer you away as Matty pulls his Fugazi top off, “Can’t have you seeing Matty shirtless again. Hann won’t be the only one upset if you fall for him again.”

Everyone on the bus laughs at that and that was when most introductions were made. By the time the other boys came out, the party was in full swing, yet you seemed to be the only one without a drink in your hands.

That is what prompted you to head to the drinks table which is littered with all the alcohol you could ever want. There’s spirits and mixers on one side of the table, bottles of wine on the other and you’re sure they’ve been expecting a party because there’s no way this was all on their rider.

You make yourself a raspberry gin and tonic, seeing nothing else that you particularly want at this moment in time. And it was an easy option because Ross came over and distracted you with telling you all the fun things he saw in the crowd during the gig whilst he got himself a drink too.

After he’s finished his story though, and you’ve both stopped chuckling, a certain bottle grabs your eye and you pick it out of the mass of them. “Oh my god, there’s strawberry shots.”

The bassist can’t help but find it adorable the way a simple bottle of alcohol seems to brighten your mood instantly.

“Course there is.” Ross grins, picking up the vodka for himself. Nodding to the bottle of sours in your hand, he informs you, “They’re on our rider.”

“Why would they be on your rider?” You can’t help but ask him. None of the lads drink shots regularly. You truly don’t understand why that would be something they would have on their list for every gig.

Spotting your confusion, the bassist finds himself all the more amused. He can’t wait to tell you this one.

“Oh, I love that you don’t know this.” Ross grins to himself as he pours his drink out and he explains, “Every UK show, most Europe shows that are anywhere near the UK, Matty puts strawberry shots on our rider just in case you happen to show up.”

“You’re kidding.” Falls from your lips before you can even process that information.

“No,” Ross grins, reiterating, “Every time.”

“That’s lovely but wasteful if it never gets used.” You can’t help but scorn the idea slightly. What’s the point in having it if no one enjoys it.

“No, it always gets used if we’re drinking before we go on.” Ross assures you, “And if they’re not, we give the bottles we haven’t opened to the staff that help us in the venues.”

You find that to be a kind gesture but you’re still unsure why it’s on their rider if they don’t drink shots themselves, “But you’s don’t really like them.”

“No, but Matty does.” The bassist tells you honestly, “He almost does a little toast by himself each night before taking a shot of it and then going on stage… And we all know he’s doing a little toast to you.”

You can’t quite believe what you’re hearing, “Are you serious?”

“Yeah,” Ross nods, “To me it seems like an innocent little ‘thank you’ gesture he does and then the night moves on… And we all know who’s favourite flavour is strawberry, so we can only assume it’s the one person he’s thanking.” He raises his eyebrows and gives you a knowing look.

You find the gesture sweet if anything. Strawberry shots remind you of Matty entirely. How he would make sure they were always at every party you attended so you never felt left out when you came to Manchester.

Before you can think too much into it, Ross chuckles,  “You did give us all our songs, after all.”

“Oooo, strawberry shots!” A person that appears on the other side of you breaks your conversation by pointing to them, as they say, “They’re my favourite.”

And when you turn to see who else has excellent taste, you find it’s someone you weren’t long ago introduced to.

“Same here.” You smile at Charli XCX, and offer her straight away, “Want one?”

“Please.” She nods.

As you pour the both of you a shot each, Ross leaves the both of you to it. You end up telling Charli that she looks amazing and that you’ve loved her music for a long while which she seems to really appreciate.

And taking the shots together has you becoming even more chatty with each other and you slip into easy conversation. You finish your gin before you even leave the drinks table because you both get so invested in what you’re chatting about.

But then you find that you’re pouring yourself and Charli another strawberry shot. This time as you take it you spot Matty a little bit away from you but he sees you and you lift your red shot in the air to cheers him before downing your second shot. And you find that two each clearly isn’t enough for either of you.

“Christ, we should do these all night,” You smile, almost forgetting completely that Charli just poured you another gin as you poured those previous shots. “Get nice and buzzed quickly.”

“Oh, I support this one hundred percent.” Charli suggests the best idea you’ve ever heard, “Think we should do body shots too.”

“I’m down.” You don’t hesitate to agree but then you pause after having another amazing idea as you pour the both of you another.

Charli seems to note this though, and she asks you, “What’s on your mind?”

“Oh,” You laugh, and decide to tell her the truth, “Just thinking how I can get George to play.”

“Hell fucking yes!” She approves excitedly, picking up the shots and handing you one, “I’ll drink to that.”

As you clink your shot glass with Charli’s, you can’t help but think that you’re going to be so very hungover in the morning. And you won’t regret it a single bit.

~*~*~*~ September 21st 2019 ~*~*~*~

Before you made friends with Matty again, life had been quiet and frankly, you fucking hated it. Not talking to either him or Alex left you bored a lot of the time because in any other circumstances where you were in contact with both of them, they always called you to tell you about anything and everything.

With both of them gone, you found yourself so bored. Now you were back in contact with Matty, he kept you on your toes again. You got texts and phone calls about the most random things that were happening on tour or if he just needed to ask you a quick question.

But in the quiet moments where Matty was busy, you couldn’t help but think that they were usually filled by Alex.

It got you thinking that despite what happened between you and your other best friend, you would rather have him as a friend than no friend at all. You’re not going to pretend that you now approve of his girlfriend, because you really fucking don’t, but you would rather have him in your life and it be slightly awkward than not at all. After all, he put up with you talking about Brandon, you could put up with the mentions of Pauline.

Besides, you want to be the bigger person. You know that the both of you need to apologise for the manner in which you spoke to each other, and you’re more than willing to do that.

However, that seems to be a totally one sided thing. Because everything you try and have been trying for the past fortnight ultimately fails, which has led you to your little breakdown today.

Because you’ve had no contact with Alex for so long, you had little idea of what he was doing since their tour finished early last month. Which means that's why you tried texting and calling Alex sporadically throughout today and when you were constantly left on read or your calls were declined, it made you upset.

Matt could see that Alex was distracted today, more than he has been usually but he hadn’t questioned it. The band was offered a possible last minute festival gig over in Australia so they were practising in Matt’s house in London.

Nothing had been announced yet so they were just running through a possible setlist to see if they wanted to do the gig or not. Matt just thought Alex’s mood was to do with the fact he was still bitter about the fact the rest of the band had sided with you when they were told what happened.

The first time Alex saw them after it, he’d walked in and told them with a ‘can you believe the nerve of her’ attitude. Little did the singer know you’d left Alex’s flat that day and gone straight to Matt’s place in Sheffield.

All of the lads already knew and sided with you. It had been a little uncomfortable since that day but they got on with it like they always did when they were together and one of them was in a mood.

Matt didn’t let his best mate spoil his time with his daughter. Amelia is here with them and whilst they were practising he loved seeing his daughter so happy watching them play and in the gaps between songs Matt let her have a quick go on the drums.

It brought a smile to even Alex’s moody face but of course the smile didn’t last long. Like now, during the 20 minute break they allowed themselves Alex just sits on his phone with a brooding expression.

It completely contrasts with everyone else’s mood. And even the loud ring of the drummer’s house phone doesn’t even cause a raised eyebrow. The singer just stares at his phone blankly scrolling.

Matt answers the phone with a chipper, “Hello?” And everyone can hear the smile on his face and the joy in his voice.

But the smile on his face doesn’t last long.

“Y/N?” Everyone hears the drummer ask, but what becomes clear is that Matt sounds a little panicked when he next speaks, “Hey, woah woah, what's up?”

In his peripherals he sees Matt sit forward a little and says, “Take a few deep breaths for me, Cupcake.”

After a second, Matt gets up and leaves the room and Alex thinks he hears Jamie ask if he’s alright watching Amelia for a bit whilst he’s on the phone. Of course, the guitarist agrees and Matt ends up disappearing off more than likely upstairs so he can talk to you.

“What’s up with Y/N/N?” Alex hears Nick ask Jamie.

“Dunno, haven’t spoken to her since last week… I hope she’s alright.”

“Do you know?” Alex just about hears Nick ask, but he keeps his eyes on his phone,

“Oi.” Nick gets the singer's attention with that and a light kick to his shin, “Do you know what’s up with Y/N?”

“Why would I?” Alex shakes his head, going back to his phone immediately.

“Dunno, maybe because you’re meant to be her best friend.” Jamie says under his breath and pretends he doesn’t hear him as he concentrates on replying to his messages again.

Alex doesn’t care for what you have to say anymore so why would he be in contact with you. With the nasty way you spoke about someone he loves, he doesn’t think you’re worth the time of day.

Each time he looks down at his arm now, reading the tattooed words Bright Angel it leaves him with a bitter taste in his mouth. Maybe he should book the laser removal appointment that Pauline keeps talking to him about.

After a minute, Alex takes the last sip of his coffee and he gets himself up from his seat. It prompts Nick to ask, “Where are you going?”

“To the toilet.” Alex tells him, asking with a bit of humour laced in his voice, “That okay with you?”

“By all means.” Nick chuckles a little before both of their attention goes back to Amelia.

And Alex does quickly use the downstairs toilet, but the singer spots another device in the corner of the dining room as he walks past the door. Curiosity gets the better of the singer as he walks into the room and picks up another of Matt’s house phones. He presses the green button and puts the device to his ear and starts listening into your conversation.

Upset rings clear in your voice as you all but cry down the phone, “He hates me Matt.”

“He doesn’t hate you.” Matt assures you but Alex can picture you sobbing in your flat, presumably in London, although he can’t be sure of your whereabouts these days.

“He does… He all but said it when I last saw him and his actions are speaking louder than words now.” Your choked up voice rings loud in Alex’s ear, and he knows for a fact you’re talking about him when you continue, “You should have seen the way he looked at me. I’ve never once seen him look at me like that.”

“He’ll come to his senses.” Matt tries to tell you and Alex can’t help but find it interesting seeing very clearly who’s side Matt is taking on this matter.

“I don’t think he will.” You choke up again and you start crying again as you tell him, “I can tell he loves her so hearing me call her out must have been the last straw.”

Matt doesn’t know what to suggest to help, instead he pleads, “Please don’t cry Y/N/N.”

“I’ve been crying for weeks.” You sniffle, your voice is a higher pitch and full of distress and Alex can guess that you’ve got your comfort Blur hoodie on today. “He won’t answer my phone calls, he won’t text me back, and I bet if he saw me he’d just look the other way.”

“He wouldn’t.” Matt says a little more sternly but he surprises Alex when he says, “He’s just too proud to say he’s wrong.”

Whilst that enrages Alex so much he has to bite his tongue to stop himself from giving away his spying. But his fury at Matt falls to the back of his mind when he hears you respond.

“I love him Matt, and I’ve never cried so much because I’ve lost someone.”  

It seems to floor Matt, just as much as it floors Alex hearing those words leave your lips. The drummer asks you, disbelief clear in his voice, “You love him?”

“Not like that. I mean in mine and his way… He’s my best friend.” Alex can just about breath again when he hears that. You continue, “Always has been, whether feelings were a part of it or not. It’s always been me and him.”

It feels like a dagger to the heart when Alex hears you say that because he can hear just how much you mean it. But Alex can’t dismiss the sour taste it leaves him with, because he’s not going to go back on what he said because he can’t and won’t believe that someone he loves would treat his best friend like that.

“Yeah I know.” Matt agrees with you, “It’s always been me and Y/B/F and then you and Al.”

“Listen Y/N, don’t worry. Give him some time and-”

You interrupt, “It’s been months Matt.”

“Yeah, but he’s pretty infatuated with this one so I’d expect longer to realise. He’s probably hurt, which I’m really sorry we asked you to do, I really am.” You can hear Matt regrets ever asking you in his voice, and when you told him what happened he apologised profusely too. Matt continues, “Should have all sat him down and had an intervention. But I didn’t think he’d react like that to you.”

“It’s okay. He probably got more of the harsh truth because he got me angry.” You sigh, not knowing what else you can do at this point.

You don’t regret your words, you just regret how angry you got and the way you said everything. Your words still ring true. Pauline is a bitch and Alex deserves better than a snake like her.

Matt shakes his head, still feeling extremely guilty he left you to deal with that on your own. And the guilt can be heard when he says, “Doesn’t mean it was okay what he said back to you. So I’m really sorry.”

“Not your fault, is it?” You sigh.

That leaves Alex feeling unsteady because he does regret the way he blew up at you. But he’s in a stalemate, if he makes friends with you again he’d be in a way betraying his girlfriend and he’s not sacrificing his relationship for you, not again.

Matt distracts Alex again, speaking back up to ask you, “What do you want me to say the call was about if he asks why you were upset?”

“He’s not going to ask. He’s too stubborn to do that.” Alex can picture you shaking your head, “And to be honest, I doubt he cares I’m upset.”

“You know he does.” Matt stops you before you can spiral.

“Not so sure anymore Matt.” You sigh, and your voice gets the tiniest bit choked up again when you say, “I went to try and see him last week, when I was up in Sheffield.”

Matt prompts you to continue, “Yeah?” and Alex internally cringes knowing exactly what his best friend is about to be told.

“I tried to. But I realised that I left my key there when we argued and because he wasn’t answering me. I was just going to go up and stay outside until he talked to me.” You explain, “And when I got there and asked for the spare key at reception and he’d taken me off his list and off as his secondary… I’ve never felt like such an idiot, Matt.”

“Daniel,” The receptionist of Alex’s building, “Looked like he didn’t want to even tell me and when Daniel rang him to see if I could go up I knew straight away that Alex told him no.”

It was true. Alex didn’t let you up. Partly because Pauline was there with him that day and because he’s still so fucking annoyed at you for everything that was said.

“Fucking twat.” Matt scoffs loudly.

“I know he’s a twat Matt, but he’s my best friend and he won’t speak to me… I don’t know what to do… I just want to be the bigger person and make it right.” It pains Matt to hear you get choked up again and he knows you well enough to know that tears must be falling down your cheeks.

Matt causes Alex to panic when he hears him say, “I’ll go get him now.”  

“No, don’t.” You stop him before Alex even gets a chance to pull the phone away from his ear and pretend that he wasn’t eavesdropping.

You continue to persuade Matt to stop, “He didn’t want to see me last week and he’s been declining my calls today. I don’t think he’s gunna have changed his mind in a matter of hours, and if I’m honest, I don’t think I can be told no again.”

Knowing from the silence on the other end of the call, you know Matt doesn’t know what to do or say. So you just try to end the call, “Anyway, I’ll let you get back and I’ll head out to try and stop crying.”

But Matt keeps you on the call, not wanting to end on a sad note, “Found a hiding spot in London yet?”

“Not quite.” You chuckle, knowing Matt knows you liked to disappear somewhere when you’re back home. “I’ll just go for a walk later when it rains to clear my head and so it hides the tears.”

Whilst your words make Alex’s heart ache, you do leave Alex confused though. Does Matt know about your spot in the park back home? He can only assume he now does because you’ve never talked about your hiding spot with anyone but him and Y/B/F as far as he knows. Somehow, Matt knowing about that cherry blossom tree doesn’t sit right with him.

“Please try and stop crying for me.” Matt pleads, and they can both hear you sniffle as you wipe your tears away. Matt suggests, “Have a nap and I’ll come round later.”

“Awh Matt,” You coo, “I forget your single now and that we can have a cuddle.”

The drummer chuckles at that, “The only good thing about Alex being in this relationship is that you have more free time for me and the others now.”

“And I look forward to it.” Your words make Alex frown, “Won’t have to deal with gel in your hair when I mess with it.”

“You say this like we’ve done that loads.” Matt laughs, “And you say that like you and Al just cuddle sometimes.”

“We used to.” Your voice is sombre.

Matt chuckles, “Love that.” knowing that if you’re that close, this separation must be eating you alive.

You’re about to say something else, but a screech giggle from Amelia being chased by Jamie from the room next to the one that Alex is hiding in has the singer panicking a little. Alex very quickly puts his thumb over the end of the phone, blocking it from picking up noise on his end.

But both you and Matt hear it. And Matt is upstairs and his daughter's squeal was muffled and barely audible from the room he’s in, meaning that the drummer knows the noise must have come through a speaker on a different phone downstairs.

And the only person he can think of that would be as low as to not say a word on this call is the one who caused all the issues you’re upset about. Alex.

The drummer doesn’t say anything, mostly because you get there before him and ask, “Oh, do you have Amelia with you? I thought Bre had her up North still.”

Oh shit is Alex’s first thought. Thankfully though, he seems to have gotten away with it

Matt takes a second, but he does end up telling you, “No, she’s here. Bre has gone back to LA to see some old friends for a week whilst I have her.”

“You think I could take her out so I stop crying?” You ask the drummer, your voice full of hope he takes you up on it.

But Alex is praying Matt says no so you don’t come round to get his niece because he doesn’t want to see you. If he heard that you’re coming, he will make a quick exit himself and pretend there’s an emergency or something.

“Course you can.” You can practically hear Matt’s smile, “Doubt Jamie wants her pulling on his hair all the time.”

You giggle at that imagining that visual and Matt is happy he’s somehow made you laugh.

“I’ll come and drop her off.” Matt saves Alex a panic when he tells you that.  

But you try to brush the idea off, clearly not wanting to ruin anyone’s plans, “You don’t have to if you’re busy.”

“I’ll bring her round.” Matt assures you, but then just as Alex is about to hang up his phone, the drummer asks a question that surprises him, “By the way, did you give any thought to Matty’s offer?”

Alex’s first thought is a harsh, Since when did you make friends with Matty?

“Yeah I’ve been thinking about it, I’m still not sure though.” You sound hesitant to even speak the words out loud.

“I think you should go.” Matt surprises you by saying that. But it makes sense when he continues, “It’ll be a nice way to take your mind off the dickhead we both call a best friend.”

You chuckle a little at that before asking, “You really think?”

“Yeah.” Matt encourages you, “You loved our tours so touring with them for the first time properly will be a blast for you, I have no doubt. Even if Matty will wear you out.”

“When doesn’t he?” You laugh at that.

Alex wants to throw the phone. Even more so when he hears what the drummer says next. And Matt’s words are strategic because he knows it’s not a private phone call.

“And after what you said happened at this year’s Leeds Fest after party, I’m sure you’ll have a right good time.” Alex and you can hear Matt’s teasing smirk as he says that.

“Okay Matt, I told you that in confidence.”

It’s at this point, the singer decides he’s done enough earwigging because the mere thought of something happening between you and Matty at Leeds Fest has Alex seething. Not because he’s jealous, but because he was exactly right with what he said to you. You’d just gone straight back to Matty because you couldn’t have him. It’s pathetic.

He silently presses the red button on the house phone and puts it back in the holder before returning to the rest of his band and his niece. Alex just pulls out his phone when he enters the room but Nick does ask him, “Where have you been?”

“I told you I was going to the toilet.” Alex dismisses him and sits down on the settee waiting for Matt to return so they can get back to their jam session like he doesn’t already know Matt’s going to end it early.

And it only takes a few minutes for Alex to get deep into a conversation with Pauline for his mind to forget everything else around him. He’s not even really paying attention when his best friend comes back downstairs and calls for his daughter, “Amelia?”

Matt’s little girl turns to him and he asks her with a grin, “You want to go and watch the princesses with Auntie Y/N/N?”

“Yes!” The little girl cheers and all the lads but Alex find themselves smiling at her excitement.

“Come on then, Darling.” Matt holds out his hand to his daughter, “Let’s go see her.”

At that Alex picks his head up. They were meant to be doing something. Surely he could just take Amelia after they were done? They only have 15 minutes of their set left to go through.

“We’re meant to be practising.” Alex states blankly, coming across frosty because of the shit that Matt had been chatting about him on the phone.

It stings knowing that two of your closest friends are plotting against you and all that hurt comes out as icey anger. But clearly, Alex isn’t the only one feeling that way.

“And you’re meant to be a nice person.” Matt backchats in a way no one in the room expected.

It’s venomous, leaving Alex speechless for a few seconds and the other lads shocked.

“Come on Princess,” Matt looks down at his daughter and smiles as he tells her, “You run upstairs and get your pyjamas and some toys you want to take.”

Alex, still feeling hurt by everything, asks in a bitter and expectant tone, “How do you expect us to do anything whilst you’re not here?”

They were meant to be having a 20 minute break before getting back to it. This really wasn’t the time to be bailing.

“Do it acoustic.” The drummer brushes them off and turns as if to go upstairs to follow his daughter who’s already ran up to her room.

That just infuriates Alex even more though. The singer gets up and tries to get his best mate's attention, annoyance clear in his voice, “Matt.”

But that was the drummer's last straw. Alex is a little shocked when Matt turns around with vengeance, looking Alex dead in the eye as he walks back towards him.

“Don’t think I couldn’t hear you on that call. You’re a fucking twat, Alex!” The drummer seethes. Anger takes over as he continues, “You’re fucking lucky she wants anything to do with you after the shit you’ve put her through for the past fifteen years and the fact you didn’t speak up when you heard her crying like that shows me just how much she deserves better.”

“It’s got nothing to do with you.” Alex shakes his head, not wanting to hear any of this bullshit today.  

“It had nothing to do with her!” Matt yells back, “But we asked her to talk to you!”

Matt is shaking his head, his voice slightly quieter now but with just as much disgust laced into his tone, “Didn’t know you could be such a dickhead to the woman you’ve loved for half your life.”

Alex bites back, “Maybe she shouldn’t have said shit about my girlfriend!”  

That makes Matt’s blood boil. He almost laughs as he points out what’s so clearly not going through his friend's thick skull, “Your girlfriend who’s using you to promote her own music.”

Matt’s clearly lost his patience as he shakes his head at Alex, looking completely dumbfounded that his friend could be so blind, “You know, I thought you were meant to be clever…Turns out you're the thickest one of us all.”

“What am I meant to do, Matt?!” Alex blows up now, his voice louder and firmer as he asks his friend for more clarity. “Because she was asking me to choose between her and my girlfriend and, for once, I'm not hung up on her… I’m fucking happy! But the moment I am, she always comes back. And I’m sorry, but I’m choosing to be happy this time.”

“The fact that you think Y/N would ask you to choose between her and someone you’re seeing is honestly fucking hilarious.” Matt wants to laugh at just how stupid his best friend is being, “You do realise that is the furthest from the truth you’ve ever been, right?”

And when the drummer is met with nothing but silence and raised eyebrows, he starts counting up on his fingers. One, “You lied your way into bed with her on our second tour.”

Alex scoffs and rolls his eyes at that, “Are you really bringing up somethi-”

“Yes I am!” Matt shouts over him to shut him up. The volume makes Nick and Jamie jump, and they both certainly weren’t envying Alex being on the receiving end of Matt’s anger. “Because you need to hear it!”

“You had a fucking girlfriend and you cheated your best friend into bed.” Matt continues, his anger only getting more intense, “And when you blanked her - only having eyes for Alexa all of a sudden - Y/N could have told Alexa what was going on as soon as she realised that you were already in a relationship… But did she? No. Because she’s always wanted you to be happy. So much so that she put up with you and Alexa for the rest of that tour when almost every night one of us caught her crying.”

“And you think she’s the selfish one.” Matt dryly laughs at that before raising his second finger and continuing to spell it out for Alex, “She was ecstatic for you when you started going out with Arielle.”

Alex tries to dismiss the claims by saying, “Because she was with M-”

“It doesn’t matter if she was with Matty or not.” Matt interrupts, almost wishing to a higher power that he could just make his best friend see what’s right in front of him, “This is about her putting you first. And she always has done.”

His third finger comes up when he says, “She stayed your friend after you called her a slut and a whore when she’d been seeing you, and only you, for months on end.”

Being met with more silence to that, Matt raises his fourth finger, “She still became your best mate after you led her on and got with someone else when you first slept with her too. That’s not sounding selfish of her when she could have just let Joanna carry on cheating as payback, is it?”

Putting his fingers down now, Matt can’t be arsed seeing that there is no remorse at all on Alex’s hard face that hasn’t moved a muscle. His jaw is locked and that’s it. He just looks appalled that the conversation is even happening and that pisses Matt off more.

“To be honest, with your track record it’s a fucking surprise you didn’t lead her on after you fucked in January.” Matt hopes that hurts his friend, along with, “And the fact you didn’t believe her when she told you what Pauline said about Y/B/F, her, and her scars… You’re a fucking disgrace Turner. I’m embarrassed to say you’re my friend.”

Thankfully, Alex is saved by the sound of Amelia running back down the stairs. It momentarily distracts everyone from the suffocating tension in the room as they look down at the little girl who now has her shoes on and her Tangled backpack stuffed to the brim with everything she wanted to take with her.

Matt smiles down at his little girl, and holds his hand down for her to take, “Come on Princess… Did you get your pyjamas?”

Nodding, Amelia goes on to ask excitedly, “Am I having a sleepover at Auntie Y/N/N’s again?”

“You are.” Matt smiles, and the way his little girl jumps up and down.

After a little cheer from Amelia, everyone can see that an idea of some sort must pass through her mind because the little girl stops in her tracks. And no one expects her to take a step towards her Uncle and ask, “Are you coming too, Uncle Alex?”

Alex can’t bring himself to answer her. The fact that the lads didn’t even know he’d gone and stayed the last time played a part in that, but mostly because he didn’t want his goddaughter to be upset.

“No.” Matt answers for him, and drops another pointed statement, “Uncle Alex needs to sort himself out before he sees Auntie Y/N/N again.”

Amelia’s face falls hearing that answer. She pouts looking from Alex back to her Dad and tells the room, “But last time Uncle Alex kissed Auntie Y/N/N to save her from the wicked witch and we all had a sleepover.”

Matt looks from his little girl back to his best mate to see him standing sheepishly in the corner looking to the ground. And he recoils even more when Matt asks, “Did he now?”

And the last sleepover Amelia had with you was back in February, which Matt and the others know to be not long after you and Alex last got together. They can picture the flirting that Amelia wouldn’t really understand. And they could picture Amelia forcing the two of you into a kiss that the both of you truly wouldn’t have minded doing.

Matt forces himself to smile at his daughter and suggest to her, “Well you’ll have to save her this time, won’t you?”

With that Matt walks himself to the lounge door, leaving his daughter to run to his front door and wait for him there. The drummer turns back and tells his best friend sternly, “You better fucking sort yourself out, Alex… Either listen to what we’re all telling you or get off your fucking high horse and just apologise for being a twat to her and have your cake and eat it.”

Looking to the guitarist, Matt asks and nods goodbye, “J, please lock up for me. I’ll see you both at some point soon I’m sure.”

A look of disappointment is the last thing Matt leaves Alex with and after Matt walks out the room stays silent and awkward until they hear a car start and drive away. In that time, Alex collects his thoughts but he doesn’t dare look at his other friends.

They are waiting for him to explode, neither knowing when it will come. But they feel like it’s about to happen.

Surprisingly though, the first thing from Alex’s mouth that they hear is a calm question that at first is directed at the bassist, “Do you feel the same?”

Nick simply nods, not needing to say anything more after Matt just spelled it out for him.

“And what about you?” Alex looks at Jamie.  

“She’s using you, Alex.” The guitarist doesn’t look like he wants to say it but it doesn’t stop him from continuing, “I’m sorry, but it’s the truth and we’re worried about you. And the way you treated Y/N wasn’t okay.”

The singer doesn’t know what more can be said after this. It leaves him with nothing but a full ache in his chest and a lot of thoughts whirring around his mind. The most prominent being that all his so-called friends despise him and hate his girlfriend.

“Where are you going?” Nick asks the singer as he stalks towards the lounge door.

They just about hear Alex’s response before the front door slams shut, “Home.”

~*~*~*~ October 17th 2019 ~*~*~*~

“I still can’t believe both you and Charli did body shots off George at the Leeds after party.” Ross laughs at you.

“I think that night was the best night of my life.” You giggle.

Christ, you never want to forget that night. You definitely bonded with Charli XCX for life and you find yourself thinking about licking the salt for your tequila shots off George’s torso more times than you’re willing to admit. Even more so when you’re drunk, like you currently are.

Tour so far had been really fun and you were so beyond thankful you took the opportunity to join them. It felt like constant life in Manchester but yet there was always something to do or keep you busy.

This specific tour for your boys has been different for them also. Mainly because this time they were recording the rest of Notes On A Conditional Form on the road, so instead of a back lounge like you were mostly used to on tour buses, they had a mini studio setup.

In reality, it turned into Matty and George’s little creative hub. Ross turned up when he needed to and Adam offered his guitar solos that he thought of on the spot after what they initially had come up with and you were a happy bystander for most of it.

However, you tried to leave them to it most of the time so you didn’t interfere with their creative process and you stuck to your own on the table in the lounge. You brought a few sketchbooks with you and some watercolours but you were just doing it mostly for fun and to keep you entertained.

Ross and Adam kept you busy when they weren’t needed to record and Matty and George worked long hours to try and mix and produce everything before sending it off to be mastered. When those two did get some rest though, you found that everything was quite similar to back home.

Matty would chat everyone's ear off and this time with him bringing his VR headset on tour with him, that would keep the lot of you entertained. When you wanted to rest or chill out though, all of them offered you a cuddle on occasion.

You found yourself cuddling up to George most nights when films were put on for you all to watch in the lounge after their gigs. Adam hated witnessing it, and he surprisingly had less complaints when he saw you almost falling asleep on Matty’s shoulder which didn’t make much sense to you. Regardless though, you like teasing your cousin so you’ll cuddle any of them if it conjures an unpleasant reaction with Adam.

George kept yours and his flirting to a minimum, mostly for Matty’s sake but you’re fairly certain that your curly haired brunette is used to it by this point. After the Leeds Fest after party he certainly should be anyway.

“I don’t wanna hear about it.” Adam scorns both you and Ross for bringing the body shot incident back up which makes the both of you drunkenly giggle.

Tonight, you all opted to have a few drinks together as it was a day's drive into the next state to continue to the next show on their tour. You cracked open a bottle of red wine which you and Matty were initially sharing before he disappeared off a few hours ago to write down a few more song ideas in the back lounge.

George and you got flirtier as you got more tipsy which made Adam want to launch himself out and under the moving bus. But unfortunately that came to an end when George fell asleep an hour ago after getting too drunk.

Ross made him go to bed though so the both of you and your cousin could continue drinking without needing to be quiet. And when he did, you did continue on until Adam said he was tired and headed to bed and Ross decided to do the same.

If you hadn’t just cracked open another bottle of wine before they abandoned you, you’d probably do the same, but you’re not one to waste a fresh bottle. So you decide to pour yourself another glass and pour another for your curly haired brunette who you hadn’t seen in a while.

You silently walk through the bunks so you don’t disturb anyone and you head into their studio to find Matty sitting at the desk with his airpods in and he’s scribbling away into what you know to be his lyric book. Straight away you know he’s not spotted you, so you silently put your drinks down in the holders in the desk before you hug Matty from behind.

Your arms go over his shoulders and down around his neck and you bury your head into the top of his. Only when you see Matty abandon his book and he takes his airpods out do you say a soft, “Hey Curly.”

“Hey Sweetheart.” Matty says back just as gently, and his hand comes up to your arm to gently stroke it.

“You okay?” Your question is a little muffled as you bury your face into his curls that currently smell like almonds.

He nods the tiniest bit as he confirms, “Yeah, I’m good thank you.”

“Good.” You kiss the top of his head before you offer him one of the glasses you just put down, “I brought you some wine.”

Matty smiles, “Thank you.” as he happily takes it from you.

You lean against his desk as you take a small sip of your own drink and curiously ask, “How’s the writing going?”

“It’s getting there.” Matty smiles up at you, “Slowly, but I’m getting there.”

You grin and nod at that, not looking at what he’s written because you don’t want to pry. Much like Matty never pries at what poems you’re writing down in your book. However, there is one question on your tipsy mind that you’re sure will get you a fun reaction.

“You writing me another new song, Curly?” You ask with a smile.

Matty can’t help but chuckle, “‘When aren’t I’ is the question you should be asking.”  

“Christ.” You hum, shaking your head in fake disapproval as you take what is usually George's seat just beside him at the desk.  

You’ve come to accept that you’re probably always going to have songs written about you at this point. And as long as they aren’t nasty ones, like you found Too Much To Ask and originally perceived Change Of Heart to be, you don’t particularly mind.

“No, you know I’m not doing it because I’m trying to get you back. You’re happy on your own and I’m really not trying to change that.” Matty swears, and he looks at you like he’s about to blush when he admits, “But people want love songs and you’re my map for love and relationships.”

Whilst that is really heartwarming, you can’t help but remind him, “You had a girlfriend before me, you know?”

“Yeah, but I was in love with you long before and for the whole time I was with her.” Matty explains, “I loved her too but it wasn’t a patch on what I felt for you.”

You can’t help but smile at that because you feel the same. Your curly haired brunette continues to spill his thoughts on the subject, “I’m just glad I got a good basis of what it’s meant to feel like so I can write about it… Least I’m not delivering mixed messages to people because I thought something was love and it wasn’t.”

“Yeah, like me with Peter.” You nod, completely understanding where he’s coming from because you had the complete opposite experience, “I really thought I was so in love with him. It’s comical thinking back to it. It was fully manipulation by the end of it…”

And you’re being entirely truthful when you tell him, “I’ll never be so glad that we kissed that night in your room.”

Your curly haired brunette shakes his head a little, trying not to grin as he sighs, “Still can’t believe you told him and didn’t just break up with him.”

“Maybe I subconsciously knew I needed to get out of it and I wasn’t strong enough to do it myself so I gave him the reason to.” You shrug, really not knowing why.

If anyone treated you now the way Peter treated you at the end of your relationship, you would break up with them in an instant. That shite was something you would in no way put up with today and you wish younger you would have realised that a hell of a lot sooner.

“Maybe.” Matty nods and watches as you take a sip of your wine. He can’t help but ask curiously, “Who’s your basis of love?”

You take a second to genuinely think about it before you start, “I think Kyle was a good map for it. I learned a lot of it from you. Felt it so intensely, I knew we were meant to be even if it was just for the time we were.” Pausing for a second more, you add, “And I learnt a bit from Alex too… I don’t know. Every experience makes up who we are and where it leads us into the next relationship, right? That’s why you keep wanting to write songs about love because it’s changed a bit and it’s different.”

“Yeah,” Matty nods, “I guess so.”

Both of you take another sip of your drinks at the same time then, leaving a comfortable silence between you where you’re both clearly thinking about what you’ve just been talking about. Matty grinning to himself is the only thing that brings you out of it because you nudge him and raise your eyebrows, silently asking, ‘what?’.

“I’ll say it, as long as you know I’m not trying to cause more shit.” Matty says and when you nod, you prompt him to continue, “But if I lost my virginity to you, I’m afraid I would have never let you out of my sight again.”

“Christ,” You can’t help but giggle at this comment. However, you do slightly cringe at your next thought, “I actually dread to think how many times teenage you wanked over me before we actually got together.”

“Oh Sweetheart,” Matty chuckles, “Every day from the moment I met you.”

Shaking your head, you tell him, “You’re mingin’” as you try not to laugh so he can see your disapproval. But it’s too funny not to giggle at.  

Matty grins, “Ah, but you love me though.”

You hum in agreement, compromising with, “I guess you’re bearable now you’re in your thirties.”

“Wow, thank you.” Your curly haired brunette laughs, “What actually made you go for me in the end? Or did I just wear you down?”

Matty can tell you know the answer straight away. But just from the way you look at him, he knows you’re embarrassed to admit whatever it is.

“You want the god's honest truth?” You ask him with an amused look in your eyes.

“Yeah.”

“It was your glasses.” You admit and you feel your cheeks go hot as soon as the sentence leaves your lips.

Matty can’t believe it. He has to ask again, “My glasses?! Are you kidding?”

“No.” You shake your head, and you’re almost hiding behind your glass of wine as you tell him your secrets, “Those thin wired glasses with your curls… There was something about you. You looked older that year too and with the glasses, they just made you really attractive.”

At that point, Matty runs a hand through his curls, and trails off looking to the roof of the bus,  “You’ve gotta be kidding me…”  

“Is it so hard to believe?” You smile, quite enjoying the look of disbelief written across his face.  

“That you let me go through with my laser eye surgery? Yeah.” Matty nods and looks you in the eye like he’ll never forgive you and you can’t help the ugly laugh that leaves your lips.

The comfortable silence comes over the both of you again then. You find yourself thinking about their music again and how incredible it usually is, whether it ends up being happy or sad, but you have to find out for your own peace of mind.

“Is it a sad love song or is it a me and you together song?” You ask after a minute, glancing back to his lyric book that’s still lying open on the side.

“It’s a me and you together song.” Matty smiles at that and very quickly writes something down in his book, but it’s the grin on his face that warms your heart.

Nodding, you don’t pry much into the lyrics he’s written down. Instead you look towards the computer and cheekily ask him, “When do I get to hear it?”

“When it’s finished.” Matty smiles and you chuckle, as you should have expected that response.  

“And when will that be?”

Matty’s smile gets bigger then, and he even closes his lyric book as he asks you, “Since when did you become Miss Impatient when it came to new music.”

“I’m just intrigued by this album.” You tell him truthfully. “It’s different and I’m curious and I like it.”

It’s true. You caught the beginning of a song being recorded that Matty told you afterwards was going to be called Frail State Of Mind and it sounded so different from anything that you’ve heard from them before, you were really intrigued.

“Just prewarn me,” You ask with a grin, “Are all the bops about me again?”

“There’s actually one that’s not about you at all.” Is a sentence from Matty you never expected him to say in the slightest but it made you so excited.

“What?!” You gasp and laugh, “I never thought I’d see the day.”

“Yeah,” He chuckles, “Gabby beat you to it I’m afraid.”

“Damn. Can’t wait to hear that one.” You’re grinning like an idiot at this point.  

But seeing that reaction just makes Matty want to postpone the inevitable so he can continue to see you that happy. So he tells you, “Might make you wait for that one then.”

“Gee, thanks.” You chuckle before finishing off the last of your wine. The bus sways beneath you and you end up in another comfortable silence. But this time you break it and ask, “You know I’m really proud of you, right?”

“I do.” Matty nods and you’re really happy that he knows you’re being sincere when you say it.

After the both of you share the brightest and most heartfelt grin, you ask your curly haired brunette, “Do you wanna stop now and watch True Romance with me?”

“Way to twist my arm Sweetheart.” Matty smiles and stands himself up, before taking your hand and pulling you up with him.

And the both of you cuddle together and watch your favourite film with the bus gently rocking the both of you to sleep.

~*~*~*~ November 5th 2019 ~*~*~*~

“Wheels,” Matty shouts you over from the other side of the shop. As you turn to look at him, you see him wave you over.

When you get close to him, he gestures towards his feet and asks, “What do you think?”

“Oh Christ.” You chuckle as you look down to see he’s got brown cowboy boots on.

Today the both of you were out for a wander around whilst you were in Tennessee. The band has a show in Nashville so you and Matty had gone exploring and of course, Matty being Matty, found a shop that sold cowboy boots so he wanted to go in and look around.

You should have known you couldn’t leave him unsupervised whilst you looked around what else the shop sells without him letting curiosity get the best of him.

“Hey, they look good.” Matty frowns at you playfully as you walk over. He gestures to a woman you hadn’t previously seen (because you were concentrating on his shoes) who's standing not too far from him and he says, “Ella here was just giving me advice on which are the comfiest. What do you think?”

Your eyes move to the woman that you now know to be Ella. She’s pretty, really pretty, and she looks to be around yours and Matty’s age and you can tell that she’s from around here purely because of her outfit, which makes her someone even more stunning.

And you can tell this because she’s not dressed like a tourist like you and Matty are. She’s not in a uniform, showing that she doesn’t work here, and she’s wearing worn cowboy boots (which really suit her), ripped jean shorts, and a nice vintage Gorillaz top on.

She looks a lot more natural here than you do or Matty does in his blue jeans and a white and red Harvard top.

“Best to get your advice from a local rather than me Matty.” You smile at him, and then turn to the girl Matty has clearly befriended and offer her a handshake as you introduce yourself, “Hi, nice to meet you, I’m Y/N.”

“Ella.” She smiles and she doesn’t hesitate to shake your hand, “Nice to meet you.”

Your smile gets bigger when you see that on the top of her right hand, she has a tattoo that reads ‘Pure Desire’. Hot is all that comes to mind when you see that.

You ask her as you let go of her hand, “You’re from around here then?”

“Yeah, born and bred here in Tennessee. I’m not from Nashville though, I’m from Manchester.” She nods, her accent coming out more when she says, “‘Bout an hour South-East from here.”

“No way,” You grin, “He’s from Manchester too. Just the UK one instead.”

“Ah nice.” That brightens Ella’s smile a little.

“What do you do over in this Manchester? Or do you help excited grown men find their perfect pair of cowboy boots often?” You can’t help but tease Matty as you talk to her.

Ella at first laughs off your latter question, saying a quick no before she tells you both, “I actually work as a PA for a company called Focus Creeps in LA. I’m just home visiting family this week.”

“Focus Creeps?” That name really rings a bell and you’re unsure why. You can’t help but ask out loud, “Why do I know that name?”

You’re hoping that maybe Matty will have heard of them, but he shrugs. Christ, he’s really no help at all.

Ella offers an explanation for you, “Well you may have heard of the company because they make music videos, maybe?”

From this, you know that she knows Matty’s in the band, which is cool that she’s being so calm about it. It makes sense considering you know she’s got to be professional for her job if she’s making music videos constantly, amongst other things, with other artists.

“Ah maybe,” You can’t help but pry, “Done any for anyone interesting that we’d have heard of?”

“British artists,” She thinks for a moment before listing a few off, “We've done a few for Peter Perrett, Arctic Monkeys, and King Kurle. People like that.”  

“Ah that’ll be it.” You smile, loving a happy coincidence. You gesture between you and Matty and tell her, “We’re good friends with the lads in Arctic Monkeys.”

Matty nods in agreement and backs you up, telling her as he gestures to you, “She is their best mate since childhood.”

Ella’s face seems to brighten at that, like she’s getting to meet an old friend. She’s almost excited when she says, “Oh god, I think I remember Matt telling me about you… Does he still like to make people feel uncomfortable if they’re embarrassed?”

That confirms to you she knew them a lot better than you would have previously imagined. Matt won’t just embarrass anyone, only people he knows well.

“Oh, all the time.” You laugh, “I’m forever tired of Helders embarrassing me. When did he get you?”

“On pretty much all of their Suck It And See music videos,” Ella grins at the memory, “And when they invited me on that short tour they did before they recorded the R U Mine music video.”

The mention of that particular tour unlocks a memory for you, and you have to ask just to make certain of something, “God, he’s really relentless, isn’t he? How long has it been since you’ve seen them?”

“All together, last time was that video shoot. R U Mine.” Ella confirms it for you and you have to not let a smile slip onto your face, showing that you figured it out.

Thankfully Matty interrupts quickly, not surprising considering you and Ella had become so invested in your own conversation that you almost forgot he was there. Your curly haired brunette tells you, “I’m gunna go pay for these boots whilst you two chat.”

Both of you nod, Ella smiling and you pretending to roll your eyes at his purchase. Matty just knocks his hips into yours though as a silent shut up which makes you laugh as he picks up the box and the shoes he came in with and walks over to the other side of the shop to pay.

“How are they? It’s been so long since I’ve spoken to any of them.” Ella asks you after Matty disappears, “Breana is the only one I’m still in contact with. Didn’t feel quite right reaching out to Matt after everything that went on there at the beginning of the year.”

Knowing what you know now, you feel good enough to tell her the truth considering she clearly knew them well.  

“They are good. Matts doing better, focusing on Amelia. Jamie and Katie are great and Nick is doing great also.” You nod, pleased to tell her everyone’s okay.

Ella subtly blushes when she asks, “And Alex?”

You smile, noting the tint to her cheeks as you’re honest with her and tell her in a little jest, but she knows you’re not joking, “Currently not talking to him whilst he has this new bitch of a girlfriend, but as far as I know he’s alright.”

You’re still annoyed at your other best friend. Still, he isn’t answering your calls, yet he seems to always watch your Instagram stories so you know he’s still ignoring your calls and texts on purpose. However, you’ve been good as of late. You’ve almost stopped trying entirely as you’re sure he’ll come crawling back when he realises how wrong he is about the French bitch.

She nods at that, her cheeks getting slightly less pink when she chuckles, “Didn’t he shave his head?”

You laugh at that and nod, “That was my doing, but I’ve been told it’s growing back now.”

Ella chuckles at that herself, and then you feel compelled to ask her, “How are you? So I can let them know.”

“I’m doing okay, thank you.” She smiles, “Since they last saw me not much has changed. Still loving Focus Creeps and life is good.”

“I’m so glad.” You smile, genuinely meaning every word.

You just know each of the Monkeys would absolutely love the coincidence that you’ve met one of their old friends. And you can’t wait to phone Matt later on and tell him.

“Please send them all my love when you next speak to them or see them.” Ella says with a grin.

“Can send them yourself if you want? I could get your number and pass it on to them if you want?” You offer, “They go through numbers like it’s a lucky dip.”

“Would you?” The whole of her face lights up when she says, “I’d love to speak to them again.”

“Course.” You nod and you get your phone out so she can type her number in.

The both of you chat whilst you’re doing this and afterwards she stays chatting to you. That is until Matty wanders back over to the both of you with his new boots on still and the shoe box now in a carrier bag and on the way back over he must have put a white cowboy hat on which has you shaking your head at him.  

He nods to the bag in his hands and announces to the both of you, “All bought up.”

“Love them.” You entertain him and smile. But you tell him, “You can put the hat down though.”

“Can’t.” Matty grins at you, “Bought it.”

You roll your eyes playfully before saying, “You shouldn’t be left unsupervised.”

Matty chuckles but ignores your comment and looks to your new friend to say, “Thank you for the recommendations Ella.”

“My pleasure. You chose the best place to come.” She smiles, “Hat suits you.”

“Told you Wheels.” Matty gives you a shit eating grin as he nudges you, “Also, sorry to interrupt but I've just seen the time, we’ve gotta run back to the bus.”

You look at the time on your phone quickly and your eyes go wide. It’s 4:30 and you both told the others you were meeting them back at the bus at 5 so you could all go out for a meal.

“Lovely to meet you Ella.” You offer her a big smile.

“Likewise.”

“I promise I’ll pass your number on and good luck with everything Focus Creeps.” You mean every word you say, and you just know, “The lads will be thrilled to know you’re doing well.”

“Thanks so much Y/N.”  

“You know if you’re free tomorrow night you should come to The 1975’s gig.” You offer, knowing Matty wouldn’t mind and it would also give you a friend at the side of the stage.

Ella looks a little taken aback at that, but she gives the both of you a surprised smile and says, “I’d love to, if that’s alright with you?” and double checks with Matty.

“Course,” Matty nods, and he pulls out his phone asking her, “What’s your full name? I’ll text to get you on the guestlist now.”

“Ella Hayes.” She tells him and you make a mental note to tell Matt later.

“Sweet.” Matty smiles and after sending a quick text to Jamie, he nods, “Got you down. We’ll see you tomorrow. We’re playing at Ascend Amphitheatre.”

You also chip in and add, “I’ll text you so you have my number so I can come and bring you in when you get there.”

“Thanks so much.” She grins.  

“No, thank you.” Matty’s got the biggest grin on his face as he says, “I’ve never wanted anything more than cowboy boots and a hat.”

Ella genuinely means it when she says, “Pleasure was all mine.”

“See you tomorrow.” You grin as you and Matty start to head out.

“See y'all tomorrow.” She gives you a little wave and the both of you wave to her before heading out of the shop.

The walk back is about half an hour, so the both of you know that Adam will probably scorn you when you do reach the bus. But you’d had a lovely day out with Matty and you can just blame him for buying cowboy boots and you’re sure Adam will understand and blame your curly haired brunette instead of you.

The both of you chat whilst you walk and you talk about today's adventures and what you were going to have for your tea. But the both of you ended up steering back to the interaction you had not so long ago.

Matty, almost out of the blue, is the one who says, “She’s pretty.”

“Who?”

“Ella.” He confirms.

“She is.” You nod, agreeing entirely. But you encourage him, “You should get her number for yourself tomorrow.”

Matty smiles at that but shakes his head, “I’m fine being a single pringle like you right now. Don’t think my heart could hack another distance thing anyway… Not brave enough for that yet.” From that you know he’s still not quite fully over the hurt that was Gabby leaving. However, in a bit of jest, he adds, “She seems more Alex's type than mine anyway.”

“Funny you should say that,” You grin, finding it funny that it wasn’t just you that noticed. “I remember being told back in the day that they were quite smitten with each other.”

Matty’s jaw drops, “No way.”

“Yeah. Matt told me about the PA from the music videos and how he was relentlessly teasing Alex enough to try and make a move after him and Alexa split.” You tell him what you’re sure you recall. “I believe he took her on a date and from the way she blushed when I mentioned him, I think she’s definitely the one they told me about.”

The coincidence really was insane. And you were sure that she was one of the friends that Breana said that she saw when she came back over here to see her old friends.

Matty says what you’re thinking out loud, “That’s fucking mental she was in the same shop as us.”

“Isn’t it!” You nod.  

Matty agrees, “Like fate or something… And it really is, because I only ended up chatting to her because I saw her ‘Divine Feminine’ tattoo on her thigh when I was sitting down to try the boots on and I said I liked it. It’s really fate, Wheels.”

Any other time, you’d be able to agree with him. But right now, you can’t help but laugh at the sight of him next to you. “Sorry, I can't take you seriously. Take that ridiculous hat off.”

That cowboy hat just looks fucking huge on his head. You can’t stop yourself from giggling.

“No, it suits me.” Matty grins, nudging you playfully as you walk. “I’m going on stage in it tomorrow. Boots as well.”

“Kill me now.” You laugh.  

~*~*~*~ November 11th 2019 ~*~*~*~

Like you thought, the Monkeys - or the ones you’re currently speaking to - were all so happy to get back in contact with Ella. And Ella was such a lovely person to spend time with, you weren’t surprised they wanted her number faster than you could type it.

The night she came to The 1975 gig, the both of you had a blast. You had drinks together and you were dancing at the side of the stage and even on the songs she didn’t know, she had praises to sing about Matty and the other boys.

She blushed when she met George, as most people tend to do and you’re sure it’s the height difference that causes most of it. But the both of you partied away until it was time to say goodbye to one another. It was sad to see her go but you had no doubt if you ever found yourself over in the US again, you’d make an effort to see her.

As for the rest of the 1975’s tour, you had a blast. It was so much fun being with them on the road. You’re a little gutted you’d never experienced it with them before but this tour certainly made up for lost time.

Your favourite day was the day that you and Matty brought your skateboards into the empty arena. The floor being concrete meant that it was so smooth and easy to skate around, it was really fun. You didn’t even stop when the boys were forced on stage to sound check.  

Listening to them and skating around was really fun. And it was even fun once they were pretty much done soundchecking and Matty said down the microphone, “Sweetheart, do a kick flip.”

Being near the front of the pit, you go a little closer to the stage and you shout up, “Do you want me to break my ankle?”

Matty rolls his eyes, and points down to you to say, “Just do it. Unless you’ve lost your touch and you can’t.”

That makes you want to prove your point, so you do as you’re told and you do a kickflip as you skate along the front section of the pit. And then you look up at the band and give Matty the middle finger as a token of your appreciation for his lack of faith in you.

“Damn, she on X-Games mode.” George chuckles the familiar Vine quote over the mic and you giggle at that.

Skating back around you stop in front of the barrier and ask your curly haired brunette, “Happy?”

He nods, grinning like a fool, “Course.”

All of you end up having a little skate around after they have done their soundcheck. Matty had his board with him too so you all shared the two you had. George and Ross were having a go whilst Adam was trying to come up with tonight’s setlist.

Matty and you were sitting on the floor beside Adam, both trying to come up with songs to help him along, but they got stuck on a few that they swapped out every night. You decide to suggest one that you still really enjoy.

You point to the space where a song is missing on the sheet of paper, and say, “I think you should play Antichrist.”

“Not this shit again.” Matty shakes his head, completely against your suggestion.

“It’s a good song.” You argue.

Adam can’t help but smirk watching the both of you. He’s had this conversation more times than he can remember, and he had given up a long time ago, but it’ll be interesting to see if you can change Matty’s mind.

Matty shakes his head like a stubborn child, “I'm not playing it. Especially after that shit Nintendo tweeted me.”

“Why?” You laugh, remembering the tweet fondly, But you’re serious when you tell him, “Everyone wants to hear it. It’s a great song.”

“I don't want to play it.” Matty’s clearly having none of it, and he doesn’t even give you room to argue.

“But Matty, it-”

“‘But Matty’ nothing.” He shakes his head, and he tries to be nice and smiles as he states, “Not happening Sweetheart, sorry.”

You start questioning why at that point and arguing your point of why people want to hear it and the noise of the both of you arguing has George and Ross stop skating and listen in. After a minute through, it strikes back memories that Ross clearly wasn’t a fan of.

“Christ,” The bassist sighs, “It’s like they’re back together.”

“Don’t manifest that,” George scolds him and gives him a dirty look. “She’s my wife.”

Ross laughs at that, reminding him, “Matty didn’t let you anywhere near that chapel in Vegas so I don’t think so.”

Before George can respond, Adam’s voice calls out above everyone’s and draws all eyes to him.

“I know how we can decide.” And when all eyes land on your cousin, he suggests as he looks at you, “You and Matty. Race to the barrier. First one there gets to decide what song it is.”

A smile comes on everyone's face when they hear that, and the rest of them watch as you and Matty look at each other and grin. “You’re on.” You smirk.

Matty gets himself up, “Fine, let's go.”

He offers you his hand to help you up which you gladly take. However, you shouldn't have because the dickhead lets your hand go as soon as you start to pull on him for help and he lets you fall back to the ground.

“Dick.” You scorn him as he laughs at you and you get yourself up so he can’t play anymore mind games.

Giving him evils, you make your way over to Ross who has your skateboard which he happily hands over to you and encourages you to win. It's Adam who decides that the race will be from the sound desk to the front barrier so you all head over there to begin the race.

Matty gets his board from George and you assume your gentle giant is giving your curly haired brunette some words of advice for the race. Much like Ross is bigging you up for it.

However, as it turns out, foul play was being thought up because seconds after Adam counted you down and started the race, you were winning. And you were sure you were going to win easily, or that was until you felt arms wrap around you from behind and lift you clean off your skateboard and start spinning you around.

Of course you shouted, “What the fuck, no!” so loudly the arena echoed with it as it was empty. Feeling the strong arms around you and seeing that fucking snail tattoo on his wrist was enough for you to realise that George had clearly ran behind you and sabotaged your race so Matty would win.

It was painful seeing your skateboard roll to a gentle stop whilst Matty made it to the barrier on his and started celebrating his win. His victorious look as he started coming back over to where George is still holding you captive.

“You’re cheats!” You shout as he walks back over and you can hear all of the boys laughing. Even Adam and Ross from somewhere behind you.

Matty’s smirk is teasing when he asks, “Why’ve you gotta be a sore loser, Wheels?”

“I’m sick of you.” You scorn him.

You’re almost pouting at this point. All of this because you wanted to hear Antichrist live.

“Nah, you love us.” Matty comes up to hug you from the front, sandwiching you between him and George.

“Yeah,” You grin, not minding the bodies you’re stuck between in the slightest, and you laugh,  “I guess I really do.”

~*~*~*~ November 22nd 2019 ~*~*~*~

Getting off the plane and back onto UK soil was a feeling like no other after travelling around America with your 1975 boys. Leaving Heathrow and getting your own taxi back to your flat in London was so peaceful.

Politely declining to get the taxi with any of the boys, your own taxi got you back to your flat in Kentish Town from Heathrow in a little under an hour in the evening traffic. You didn’t mind the drive at all, you were just glad to be back in familiar settings and you couldn’t wait to get back home to sleep in a proper bed.

You’d had the best time and you made some amazing memories that you would never forget. But you can’t wait for a week at home doing absolutely fuck all.

The first thing you did when you got to your flat was dump your case in your room and then you stripped yourself off and proceeded to have a shower. You stayed in for a solid half an hour just enjoying the hot water with good water pressure whilst you listened to music.

And all the while, you couldn’t help but think about how excited you were to eventually get out and into your pyjamas. In there you also decided that tonight you’d be treating yourself to a massive scran as you were going to order yourself a dominos along with a McDonalds hamburger and 20 chicken nuggets.

Just after you get out of the shower, you see how gorgeous the sunset is over the distant London skyline you can see from your flat and of course you have to capture it. Taking a picture of it, you put it on your Instagram story saying, Glad to be back home 🇬🇧, and then you get yourself dressed into your comfy pyjamas.

Tonight, after you unpack, you plan on doing nothing other than staying under a blanket as you eat takeout food and watch shit British TV. However, just after you chuck a load of washing into the washer, your phone starts ringing.

You answer the phone, seeing as it’s Matt calling and you’re pleased to hear his voice again after a little while of not chatting to him.

“Hey Helders.” You smile as you answer your phone.

His voice is just as jolly as yours when he replies, “Heya Cupcake.”

“How you doing?” You ask him, “God, I haven't spoken to you since Tennessee.”

Course you texted. But the last time you spoke to him and heard his voice was when you went on facetime to him before The 1975 went on stage so he could say a proper hello to Ella, or Ellie as he tended to call her.

“Yeah good thanks,” You can hear his smile, and still just how excited he is when he brings up that he’s, “Still not over you meeting Ella to be honest. That's mad.”

“I know, and she’s so lovely too... Shame on you for not keeping in contact. I’m still messaging her.” You pretend to scorn him before the conversation moves on.

“Surprised you didn’t try to pull her, to be fair.” Matt chuckles.

You laugh, “Believe me Matt, after finding out she was single, it was really hard not to.”

After laughing some more, he asks you about how the rest of the touring was with your boys and how different it was to touring America with him and the lads. You give him every anecdote he’s after and you find that an hour flies by before you even realise it.

You spend a while asking about updates on Amelia and what they had been up to before he tells you about how good Katie and Jamie are doing as well as Nick and Kelly. And then you find out some interesting news about Alex.

“You’ll never believe it.”

He can’t leave you with that, so you have to ask, “What?”

And it sounds like a sigh of relief when he tells you, “He’s not with her anymore.”

Your jaw drops. Fucking finally.

“Since when?” You wonder.

“Since her single came out two weeks ago and then last week she suggested they have some time apart.” Matt tells you and it boils your blood.

You fucking knew it would happen. And you wish you could have saved him the last 6 months of his time with her. What an evil fucking bitch.  

“I fucking hate the cow.” Matt can hear the anger in your voice when you say that.  

He agrees instantly, “So do we.”

“Is he okay? I’ve still not heard anything from him.” You have to ask, because at the end of the day you still care about him even though after everything, you really shouldn’t at this point.

Matt informs you, “He’s just quiet. Living in his head a lot. Can tell he’s devastated though.”

“Not surprising, he’s probably heartbroken.” You sigh, knowing Alex must be going through a tough time of it right now, wherever he may be.

“Seems so… Maybe he’ll answer your phone calls now.” He sounds hopeful but you reject the idea immediately.

“I’m not trying anymore. I gave up trying a month ago.” You tell him and Matt can hear the sadness in your voice when you mention it.

“Don’t blame you.” Matt says before changing the subject back to the tour, “So, tell me what this was about George spilling things all over his bag?”

It’s another half an hour then that you’re talking for and in that time you get a text from Matty saying that he’s found the new blazer you bought in his suitcase. You responded, telling him that you’d pick it up tomorrow but when your doorbell goes you assume he just can’t live without you and he’s ended up calling round with it to drop it off.

You sigh, telling Matt, “Gunna have to go Helders, think Matty’s come to drop off something I left with him by accident. I’ll call you back tomorrow.”

“No worries Cupcake, I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Love you, bye.” You say as you get yourself up and you wait for his bye before you hang up the phone and pull your door open.

But when you do, your heart stops.

Instead of your curly haired brunette, you find that behind your door is the person you’ve been dying to see for months. Your heart breaks a little seeing him standing there in front of you, his hair a fucking mess because it’s not yet long enough to style and his eyes red and swollen from the tears he’s clearly been letting out.

Alex looks broken standing there in front of you and when he turns to look at you and his eyes meet yours, he takes in the biggest, shakiest breath as if seeing you meant that he was finally able to breathe again. There were tears already in his eyes and your heart hurt seeing him in pain.

Before you can even comprehend what’s happening, you both go to hug each other at exactly the same time as if you’d not seen each other in 6 years instead of over 6 months. Your arms fly around his neck whilst his wrap around your waist.

Alex dips himself down a bit to do that and he hoists you up into his arms as he walks into your flat. You bury your head into his neck as you feel overwhelming emotions take you over as your throat seems to choke up. You lock your ankles around his waist to ensure you stay in the position and as close to him as possible. You don’t want the hug to end.

He kicks the door shut behind him and walks to wherever he wants to go, even though his head is in that much of a state he doesn’t really think about where he’s going himself. You’re too caught up with him hugging him tightly, your head buried into his neck, to see or care where he was taking you.

Just the fact that he’s back means the world.

You don’t care when your back hits your bedding and Alex keeps his weight on top of you. You certainly don’t care that the position probably looks compromising, even though it really wasn’t like that. He’s back and you’re delighted yet entirely too emotional to process it.

“I’m sorry.” You choke out, not even realising your crying, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

As soon as the singer hears that, he picks his head up and he starts shaking it. “Don’t apologise for anything.” He’s crying too, looking into your eyes to tell you that he knows, “I’m the idiot. I’m so unbelievably sorry, Y/N.”

“You should be, you dickhead.” You pull him back into the hug, hiding your face into his neck again as you cry, “Christ, I can’t believe I’ve got you back.”

“You’ll always have me back.” He promises, before profusely apologising again and going on to plead, “Please forgive me. I'm so so sorry for everything I said and more.”

“You’ve got a lot of apologising to do.” You tell him through your tears but you can’t stop clutching him.

The feeling of him hugging you so tightly, even though you’re trapped in it as his arms are behind your back against the mattress, is something you’ve missed so much. You’ve not had a hug from your best friend in over 6 months.

“I know.” Alex chokes out and the both of you cry for a little longer.

When Alex moves so he can look at you again, he tells you, “I love you.” and you don’t know if he thinks you’re about to panic at what he said, but he quickly adds, “Not in that way. But in our way… I love you so much, Angel.”

And of course, you understood that completely. Your tears don’t slow down much as you just about choke out, “I love you too. I’ve missed you. So fucking much.”

“You’ll never know how much I missed you,” Alex ends up burying his head into your neck as he cries a little more, “I’m so, so sorry.” and you hold him the tightest you ever have.

After a while, the both of you end up sitting on your bed to talk it all through. And you’ve never seen him so upset when he apologises for not believing what his ex said about your scars.

You understand not wanting to believe it, because from the heartbreak that’s clear in his voice and his body language, you could tell just how much he loved her and how real it was for him. It’s a shame she wasn’t the person who she originally made out to be, but you know Alex will be far better off without her.

The amount of apologies you heard were endless and they spanned the whole night, even through to when his tears dried up. And you can tell just by the way he’s acting with you that you know he knows he’s done wrong and that you’ll both be able to fix what happened between you.

You apologised for how you acted and for how you said things, but you didn’t apologise for telling the truth and Alex again told you just how much he regrets not believing you. And closer to the end of the subject, you tell him honestly what upset you most.

“It hurt a lot when you said that about my art and how you thought I use you to promote my stuff because I would never do that.” You’re completely honest with him, and you have to soften your voice so it doesn’t sound like you’re getting choked up at the thought of it, “Don’t you think I just wanted a picture with my best friend at the first gallery of mine you’d ever come to?”

“Yeah, of course you would want that.” Alex nods and sniffles, as he picks up your hand so he can squeeze it, “I want that. I’m so sorry I ever said that shit. I honestly don’t think that of you.”

And Alex is being entirely genuine with you when he retracts everything he insinuated about him giving you your career, “I did fuck all to help you where you are today, you did it all yourself. You're the most impressive self-made person I know and I’m sorry I got so nasty to say otherwise.”

Hearing him say that he didn’t think that of you felt like a big weight taken off your chest. And because you knew you were both slowly drawing to a close you talking about it all tonight, you keep your response light.

“I wouldn’t go that far.” You chuckle, “You know John Cooper Clarke.”

Alex chuckles at that and leans a little closer to you to whisper, “Secretly, I think you’re better.”

“Thanks,” You laugh, “You idiot.” and that small smile that makes its way onto his face warms your soul.

At this point, it really comes to a head just how much you’ve missed him. Laughing with him, having a joke with him, even being this close to him and seeing him.

You can’t really stop yourself before leaning in and trapping him in a hug. The both of you know you’ve got a long way to go to get back to how you were, but you’ve done it before and you’re sure you will do it again.

Hugging your best friend tightly, you don’t hesitate to tell him, “I love you, Shakespeare.”

A hug has never felt so great to Alex, and he intends to keep you trapped in it for as long as possible. As his arms tighten that bit more around you, he whispers in your ear, “I love you too, Angel.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: AHHHHH!!!!!! You got to let me know if I've managed to sway any teams? Matty or Alex????? Curly or Shakespeare???? What do we think will happen next??? Have we forgiven them both? Where are our heads at? I'd love it if you let me know! Thanks a million for reading, really hope you enjoyed the chapter x

Quick sidenote: Ella is a main character from a different fic that you’ve not yet been blessed with and I felt like I wanted to get the fic multiverse started. So, this is your first little tease of Ella and I’ve got no doubt at all that you’re all going to love her as much as I do. @alovesreading​ is a genius and I’m very excited for her to eventually share her first Alex fic with you all x

Taglist: @psychkunox​​​​​ @sofiaaraee​​​​​ @thewheeler​​ @cold-hands-cold-eyesss​​​​​ @xovalliegirlxo​​​​​ @vroboat​​​​​ @hoodskillerqueen​​​​​ @woahhealy​​​​​ @emmaheg1005 @belledawnidk​​​​​ @elen-alambil​​​​​ @megann-duff​​​ @alexsvacuumcleaner​​​​​ @bshelley322​​​​​ @g0thwat3rr​​​​​ @cassieinnit​​​​​ @ohmyolympusssywp​​ @filling-thevoid​​​​ @xqueenkt​​​​​ @indierock4ever @amturners​​​​​ @alovesreading​​​​​​

Add yourself to the taglist with the link in the Masterlist!

[nriacc]

NRIACC ~ The Bands

Hey everyone, so we​ wrote this story as a way to bring our two favourite bands together. It's a whirlwind of a story but we both hope you all enjoy it. We realise that not every Arctic Monkeys or The 1975 fan will be aware of the other band, so we thought we would do a quick introduction page so you can put faces to names.

| Series Masterlist (Coming Soon) |

Our Protagonists

Alex Turner of Arctic Monkeys

Matty Healy of The 1975

Instead of one official ending to this story, there will be two different endings (one for Alex and one for Matty) so no one is left disappointed. We love these boys so much so it's been amazing to create this love triangle between them.

The rest of The 1975

George Daniel ~ Drummer

Adam Hann ~ Guitarist

Ross MacDonald ~ Bassist

The rest of Arctic Monkeys

Matt Helders ~ Drummer

Jamie Cook ~ Guitarist

Nick O'Malley ~ Bassist

Honourable Mention

Miles Kane 

~*~*~*~*~*~

Basic info on Arctic Monkeys

The band formed in 2002 when the lads were in high school and the band are from High Green in Sheffield. Originally the bassist was Andy Nicholson but he later left the band and Nick O'Malley took over for the second album onwards. The band is signed to Domino Records, as is Alex's supergroup The Last Shadow Puppets which is his collaboration project with Miles Kane.

EP:

- Who The Fuck Are Arctic Monkeys (Released in 2006, after their first album)

Albums:

1 - Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not (2006)

2 - Favourite Worst Nightmare (2007)

3 - Humbug (2009)

4 - Suck It And See (2011)

5 - AM (2013)

6 - Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino (2018)

The Last Shadow Puppets Albums:

1 - The Age of the Understatement (2008)

2 - Everything You've Come To Expect (2016)

Basic info on The 1975

The band formed in 2002 when the boys were around the age of 14 and they are from Wilmslow/ Cheshire, just outside of Manchester. They went through a series of band names, the most well known being Drive Like I Do, before they settled on The 1975. The band name originates from Matty finding a book dated '1st June, The 1975'. The band are signed to Dirty Hit, which Matty almost co-owns at this point with their manager Jamie Oborne, who found the band years before they released their first album. Matty and George now self-produce the bands albums.

EPs:

1 - Facedown (August 2012)

2 - Sex (November 2012)

3 - Music For Cars (January 2013)

4 - IV (January 2013)

Albums:

1 - The 1975 (2013)

2 - I Like It When You Sleep, For You Are So Beautiful Yet So Unaware Of It (2016)

3 - A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships (2018)

4 - Notes On A Conditional Form (2020)

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Funfact: The 1975 (album) was released a week before AM (album), but both reached number 1 on the official UK charts.

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A/N: Watch out when we talk about Matty and Matt, obviously it may get a little confusing when they are in the same scenes, so we have tried to make it as distinguishable as possible.

Sidenote: Please don’t hate on either of the main boys in the story until things happen in the plot that give you reason to. We understand you may prefer one man to the other, but this story has been equally balanced (although it may not feel like it at times, we promise it has). It's going to be a thirty part drama, so if you're along for the journey, you're going to see multiple sides to both of them.

We hope you enjoy the rollercoaster x

[nriacc]

Star Treatment | NRIACC: Part 27 |

Nothing Revealed In A Common Crisis

Plot by @imagine-that-100​​ and @ghostlightqueen​

Written by @imagine-that-100​​​ (thank you @alovesreading​ for the help and moral support whilst I wrote this)

Description: | Here |

Word Count: 29.3k

Warnings: This series contains mature content and themes throughout

A/N: oh my god, it’s FINALLY here! So sorry for the wait but I promise you it’ll be worth it. I would like to repeat, you’ve not been robbed. This is full to the brim of smut, like over 12k of it so I hope you enjoy. So much has happened since the last time I posted. I’ve seen Harry Styles 3 times (he looked at me twice), The 1975 have released a new single (which I fucking adore), and we have a new album name and release date. Really hope you all enjoy this chapter, get your holy water ready. Love you all lots, thanks for sticking with me and reading. Steam Part of the Band by The 1975 x

| Series Masterlist | N’s Masterlist | NRIACC Playlists | The Band’s Info | Read on Wattpad | Read on AO3 |

The speed at which you just got out of bed and dressed should be applauded after what you went through last night. Your muscles are screaming for rest, but you ignore them as you start quietly gathering as many of your belongings that you can find as Alex still lies in his bed asleep.

Your skirt is ripped which left you getting into a pair of Alex’s joggers and you threw on a hoodie of his as well, considering the clasps on your top had practically been torn off. You’re surprised your bra survived if you’re honest. Your underwear certainly didn’t, which is why you stole a pair of Alex’s boxers too.

You know your bag and your phone are downstairs by the door where you threw them as soon as you were pushed in through his front door last night. So you take one final look around his room to double check you haven't missed anything, but when you do, your eyes linger on your best friend.

In your heart you know that you’d feel bad leaving without at least saying something to your best friend, but you truly don’t know how you’re meant to look him in the eye after everything that had happened in the last 9 hours.

So, to avoid the guilty feeling you're bound to get once you leave his room, you decide to say something without waking him.

Leaning down, you kiss Alex gently on his forehead before whispering, “Bye Al.”

That was something you thought you’d push yourself back up from and walk out without any bother. However, you certainly didn’t think it would end up with you being pinned underneath him.

Having been caught out, all you can do is smile and offer your best friend a chipper, “Morning.”  

Alex is not having any of it though. He point blank asks you, “Where are you going?”

“To Y/B/F’s.” You tell him quietly what your plan was as you glance at his hair that’s falling over his face.

He still looks just as good as last night. It’s quite unfair really when you probably look like a drowned rat.

“Without saying goodbye?” Alex raises his eyebrows at you knowing full well that you were trying to sneak out.

You point out, “I just whispered a goodbye.”

“Before you kissed me,” Alex smiles a little, “I know.”

But then he narrows his eyes at you playfully but you know from his words he probably feels a bit hurt, “I can't believe you’d just leave like that.”

You shrug, giving the only excuse you can, “I didn’t fancy awkward chat.”

Because you didn’t know what it was going to be like when you woke up today. You don’t really want to be teased for what happened all day, you’d rather be on your own and live in the happy memory of it.

“Who was making it awkward?” Alex questions from above you, entirely confused. He points out, “It wasn’t even awkward the first time when it should have been awkward.”

And then a grin makes its way onto your best friend's face as he reminds you, “If anything, I remember correctly you having me all to yourself in a more PG sense.”

You know he’s talking about the next day at Matt’s party where you did nothing but kiss him for hours. The memory makes you smile. Much simpler times.

“Feelings weren’t involved back then.” You tell Alex after he leans down and pecks your lips.

And between kissing down your jaw and your neck, Alex argues, “They were. We just didn’t know it yet... We were just after fun and the second day was pretty fun.”

“Are you saying the first day wasn’t fun?” You raise your eyebrows as you route your hand through his hair.

“What? No, I-“ Alex stumbles on his words as you pull on his hair so he will stop kissing you.

“If you wanna get off with someone all day, Alex, you do that. I’ve got a meeting I need to do.” You say as you push his shoulder so you can sit up.

Once your top half is raised from the bed though Alex immediately pushes you back down by your shoulder and you fall back down to his mattress.

“No you don’t,” Alex narrows his eyes and shakes his head, leaning down over you again, “I asked you about work in McDonalds last night.”

Oh fuck. Busted.

“Why are you lying to me?” Alex asks, but then a smirk comes to his lips when he asks, ”Are you asking to go again?”

“Definitely not.” You whisper, shaking your head slightly.

“You don’t sound too sure.” He grins and pecks your lips again before he starts directing them towards your neck again.  

“I said one night, Alex.” You laugh, but continue to shake your head, “And it’s day time.”

Your best friend makes your cheeks heat up when he says, “Don’t think the daylight bothered you much when you were sat on my face earlier on.” as he carries on kissing your neck.  

At this point, you press your thighs together. But what you didn’t know was that Alex is already  kneeling in between them, so he feels exactly what you’re doing and of course this brings a smirk to his face.

He picks his head up to look at you as he teases, “You sure you don’t want to go again?”

“I’m sure.” You maintain your integrity.  

That just makes Alex grin because your body is telling him a completely different story. He chuckles as he leans down to kiss your neck again and between kisses he whispers, “I don’t think your body is.”

“Al, please stop.” You say half heartedly.

“You’re the one pressing your thighs around my knee” Alex points out before picking his head up so he can see your gorgeous face again. But he teases you once more, “Last night not good enough?”

“Last night was...” You trail off looking up to the ceiling to try and find the right word.

But it just amuses Alex even more. His grin is beaming down at you and he playfully asks, “Have I left you speechless, Angel?” before he pecks your lips.

You smile at him when he pulls away and finish your previous sentence, “Memorable.”

Alex snorts in laughter, “The irony that you forget that word.”

“Not a lyrical genius like you who makes thousands from one song, Hun.” You roll your eyes at him.

“Can’t wait to write some new songs now.” Alex grins, presses his lips to yours again and pulls away to laugh, “They’re all gunna be dirty ones about you.”

“Don’t you fucking dare!” You say seriously but with a slight laugh as he traps you in another kiss, “I’ll cut your hair off.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” Alex grins, “Not with the way you were pulling on it last night.”

“Give me the clippers and I’ll do it.” You raise your eyebrows at him defiantly, trying and failing to ‘scare’ him which makes your best friend laugh.  

Alex then quickly jerks you up for a second which he did so he could get his hands on your arse again. But when he squeezes your arse, so he can playfully tease you some more, you jump and let out a squeal.

The noise makes Alex laugh, and his laugh makes you start giggling. He’s that infectious. Truly, you didn’t think that you’d react to him doing that but your arse is clearly more tender than you first thought. 

“Jesus Christ,” Alex laughs, and playfully squeezes as he says, “It’s like I’ve never touched you before.”

“No it’s sore Alex,” You tell him off, pushing his arms from under you so you’re lying back on the bed properly, “Don’t grab my arse like that, Jesus.”

Alex narrows his eyes a little, completely confused because you were fine with it last night. He asks, “What’s up with you?” But when you raise your eyebrows, your best friend realises why, “Oh.”

You nod, smiling a little at the realisation written on his face. You confirm to him, “It’s raw.”

Alex tries and fails not to smile at you telling him that. Your best friend just ends up smirking down at you, “I’d apologise, but I know you liked it.”

“May have…” You trail off, not exactly wanting to tell your best friend just how much you enjoyed him spanking your arse only a handful of hours ago.

~*~*~*~

To say you started enjoying yourself as you got into Alex’s building would be the stone cold truth. Quickly after saying a pleasant hello to the night porter and security that were on shift, Alex pulled you into the lift and hit the button for the top floor.

And from the amount of times he hit the button to close the lift doors, you’re surprised he didn’t break it. But once they were shut, your best friend pressed you up against the mirrored wall and got off with you.

By no means is it a hardship to kiss Alex all the way up to his floor. But what was hard was resisting the urge to do anything more in the lift with the way Alex was making you feel.

When his hand went around your throat to make you even more breathless as you kissed, you truly believe he could have made you do anything for him there and then. You’re so unbelievably thankful that you were near his floor so you could get the night started properly.

And once his door was unlocked, you were pushed into his apartment. You dump your bag by the table near his door where he throws his keys once he’s finished locking back up and when you’re quite literally pulled into another kiss with both his hands on your face trapping you into it, you give in immediately.

Alex’s hands drop to your waist where he can’t really seem to get enough of you. His grabbing at you as you kiss results in your skirt moving even higher up your waist than it already is, which you’re not mad about at all because it results in his hands on your arse.

Eventually the both of you blindly make it to Alex’s settee where you push your best friend down and you quickly straddle his waist, wanting his lips back on yours immediately. His hands go under your skirt to find your arse again quickly, pulling you into him the closest you can possibly be whilst you work each other up even more.

After a while, both of you are breathless and your skirt has been pulled up even more than it already was. You’re sure that Alex can probably see your underwear from just his view as you’re on his lap.

At this point, you’re already horrendously worked up from him edging you at the bar, and now from this. You really want to get things moving.

You cup his crotch as you kiss him wanting to feel how worked up you’ve got your best friend and hopefully make him hornier. You really just want to fuck him and you want to get the both of you off sooner rather than later.

But Alex pulls your wrist away and breaks the kiss. He raises his eyebrows at you, “Did I say you could touch me?”

Fucking hell, you’ve never seen him with such a stern look in his eyes. Immediately, you feel submissive towards him so you reply with a soft, “No.” but there’s clearly hope in your eyes as you look at him that he’ll let you.

But Alex lets your wrist go and it falls to your thigh as he tells you, “So don’t do it then.”

You’re about to ask him why but your words are taken from you. Alex pulls you back into another hot, needy kiss that has you moaning into his mouth and you now grip his shirt to keep him in it.

Alex’s hands go under your skirt again to hold your hips as you grind yourself down on him again. The delightful friction causes the both of you to moan and as Alex’s hands slide up your waist your skirt gets higher than he already moved it when you were first pulled down onto the settee.

Your best friend just knows that you like his hands on your skin because whilst he’s gripping your hip with one hand, his other runs up and down your thigh. It’s encouraging to say the least and he drives you even more insane when he kisses up your jaw and starts sucking and nipping just underneath your ear.

When he pulls your hips towards him so you grind on him again, you breathlessly ask, “Can you touch me?”

You can feel his grin on your neck, “Think there’s a special word missing in that question, Angel?”

You shake your head. You’re not begging him so there’s no way you’re going to be saying please to him at any point tonight. He wants this just as much as you, you’re not begging him.

“Touch me Alex.” You demand, and you’re really thankful he gives in to you.  

His hand runs up your thigh again and you lift yourself off him a little so he has the room he needs to move your underwear. He pulls it to the side like he did earlier and you moan when his fingers find your clit immediately.

You know his moan is again because of how wet he’s got you already. It really would be embarrassing if you hadn’t been waiting a decade to shag him again but because of that you’re entirely shameless and you whine in pleasure as you start kissing his neck.

Alex teases you for a while, drawing your arousal up to your clit making you needier by the second. You’re kissing under your best friend’s ear when his fingers sink into you which makes you gasp.

But you moan right into his ear when he curls them as he tells you, “Fuck yourself on my fingers Angel. I know you like them.”

And you shamelessly do as you’re told. His filthy demands ring in your ears and it turns you on more as you lift yourself up and sink back down onto his fingers.

Closing your eyes and concentrating on the feeling of his fingers inside you is the only way you can do this. If you see the smirk on Alex’s face, you know you’ll turn bratty and you just want your high at this point. And you strive for it as he draws moans out of you as you bask in the feeling of his fingers and the way his thumb brushes your clit when you sink back down onto him.

Alex is watching you ride his fingers like he’s never seen something so arousing in his life. And he can see as his fingers disappear from view because your skirt has been hiked up so much, you’re shamelessly on show to him. And Alex knows he’ll be committing this scene to his memory to play back in his mind for the longest time.

You’ve turned him on so much this evening that Alex doesn’t really have control of the things he tells you anymore, nor any self restraint left when it comes to wanting to pleasure you. Which is why his free hand wraps around your throat to make you open your eyes and look at him.

Alex feels you moan under his palm, clearly enjoying the way his free hand tightens around your neck. As you continue your movements, Alex’s dark eyes look into your lustful ones as he asks, “You just wanted me to finger you in the car earlier, didn’t you? Looking at my fingers practically begging me to touch you.”

His words make you whimper, and you have to close your eyes again as you continue to ride his fingers. Your head falls back when he curls them again when he’s fully inside you which has you gasping, “Oh fuck.” as you clutch your best friend's biceps even tighter.  

“Fucking filthy Angel,” Alex praises you with a smirk before pulling you towards him so he can kiss you after he says, “And you’re all mine.” almost like he can’t believe his luck.

Taking up each of your senses, you lose yourself in your best friend. Your lips taken by him, his moans filling your ears, the way he’s pleasuring you is making you lose your goddamn mind. But you find yourself craving more, so trying not to sound desperate, you part from the kiss saying, “Need more Al.” in hopes that the both of you can take this further.  

“Ask for it then.” Alex tells you, leading you into a false sense of security that if you ask for him, you’ll get him.

Breathlessly, you pant, “I want your dick.”

You need to feel more. You want to fuck him again. You need to fuck him again. And you need it now.  

“Not yet Angel,” Alex shakes his head, moving his hand from around your throat back down to your arse to keep your rhythm steady, “Come on, I know you can make yourself cum by fucking yourself on my fingers. Show me what a filthy girl you are.”

His words make your stomach flip in the best way. Your actions just become more purposeful after that and Alex’s other hand gripping the softest part of your arse in an effort to help you, adds to it completely.

It feels like an age as you do this. Your moans seem to never end and you can tell just from Alex’s breathing that you’re turning him on just as much as he’s turning you on.

“Feel good, Angel?” Alex asks, and you nod as you breathlessly strive to make yourself cum.

You don’t think you’ll ever take being called Angel for granted again because after not hearing it for so long it’s actually pushing you towards your orgasm. His words combined with his perfect fucking fingers, you’re becoming a hot, sweaty mess for him.

Hearing him call you Angel on repeat in your mind is rudely interrupted by the surprise of your best friend slapping your arse as he demands, “Words Y/N/N.”

“Yes.” You moan, your eyes closing in pure bliss, “Fuck yes.”

You have no idea where your best friend’s dirty mouth has come from, but you think that he’s definitely been holding back on you in the past. Never in a million years would you think that your sweet Alex Turner would spank your arse again and ask you, “You like it when I do that, don’t you?”

You nod, panting, “Yes.”

He smirks, “Filthy Angel.” before slapping your arse again, for which Alex receives another moan in return.

Your head falls down onto his shoulder as your thighs start to burn with the way you’re still riding his fingers. You’re so close though. You can feel it.

Each curl of his fingers and each time his thumb rubs your clit, he has you breathless and moaning for him. And with being so turned on before you even made it here, you’re not surprised when you feel your orgasm fast approaching.

“I- I- Alex.” You begin to stutter, the familiar feeling of the tension tightening in your pelvis.

You lift your hips once more to sink down on him knowing that just a few more times will result in your high. But as you do, Alex slips his hand out from underneath you, leaving you with nothing.

“No, no!” You whine, your head immediately lifting back up to complain because you were so close.

“Shhh,” Alex coos like he’s completely innocent when he brings his arousal covered fingers up for you to suck clean. Without hesitation you do so, but only because that's how he quietens you and he starts smirking when you’re sucking them as he says, “Shhhh.”

His teasing smirk lingers as he looks into your shocked eyes as he tells you, “We’ve got at least fifteen minutes left before you’re even allowed to think about that.”

You want to cry. In your haste to try and make yourself cum you forgot about the fucking edging. You shake your head, pulling on his wrist so his fingers fall from your mouth you whine, “No.”

“Yes,” Alex grins like he’s proud of himself, and he steals another kiss from you before he says, “Now come on. Let’s get you more comfortable.”

~*~*~*~

Alex brings you out of your thoughts then by pleading with you, “Just go back to sleep. It's not going to be awkward when you wake up, just like it wasn’t back in the day.”

“Just spend the day with me.” He pouts, and you stay quiet trying not to smile as he’s being really cute and you don’t want him to stop. He’s even adorable when he says, “I’m not asking for a re-run or to make anything awkward. I just want to spend a lazy day with you.”

You already know that you’re going to stay now, but you can’t help but ask, just to see what he’d say, “And if I wanna go home?”

“I’ll drop you off when you wake back up.” Alex promises, but then tries to persuade you some more, “I’m knackered so I know you must be.”

When you don’t say anything Alex leans back on his knees so he can easily pull at the bow that’s holding his joggers on your hips. You send him a questioning look when he starts shimmying them down your legs.

Alex sees your look though and he pauses just enough to tell you, “I’m not doing anything, I’m just making sure you’ll be comfy.” and you believe him so you let him continue.

You lift your hips up to make it easier for him and he easily slides them down your legs and he pulls them off before throwing them to his floor. That leaves you laying on his bed in his hoodie and a pair of his boxers and you’re not surprised when Alex’s eyes are drawn down to your thighs.

He can’t hold back his smirk when he says, “I marked you up real good, didn’t I?”

Dark bruises litter the inside of your thighs, especially along your scar and everywhere else but you’d be lying if you said that you didn’t smile when you saw them this morning.

You’ve spent so long hating that scar that it was nice seeing it in a way that pleasure was inflicted upon it, not pain. It also felt really nice to have someone who you trusted doing that to you. Others who you’d been with asked where the scar came from sometimes and it just killed the mood instantly and made you insecure.

So last night it was a nice change to not have to explain yourself. And Alex had made you feel like a queen again by telling you that you looked beautiful, even though he was meant to be playing rough.

He couldn’t stop the words slipping out though. You are gorgeous and he had every intention to tell you that.

Alex certainly isn’t attempting to hide his smile as he sees them now. His fingers run along some of the small bruises and he trails them up until the boxers you stole from him stops him from seeing any more.

Grinning he adds a little more pressure to the visible trail of where his mouth had been the previous night, but he stops when you hiss in a little discomfort.

“Sore Alex.” You remind him.

“I’m sorry, Angel” Alex grins as he leans back down over you, clearly not sorry at all,  and before he makes another sarcastic remark you lean up to kiss him.

When your fingers find their place in his hair again, you warn him off making more sarcastic remarks by pulling on his hair to make him pull away so you can tell him, “You will be when I cut your hair.”

But Alex just starts grinning, cheekily asking, “But what would you grab on to?”

“I’m not planning to grab onto it again.” You say as you unlace your fingers out of his locks and pretend as if they were never there at all.

“And if you change your mind?” Alex challenges with raised, suggestive eyebrows.

You press your lips together to stop from smiling as your cheeky best friend watches your every move. You shrug and try not to smile as you wrap your arms around his neck, “It’ll grow back.”

“Smartarse.” Alex shakes his head grinning, but with his hand that isn’t holding him up he trails it down your body until it rests just below your hip and he tries to get a hold of your arse again as he laughs, “Or should I say sore arse.”

You push his hand away from you chuckling a little but you stop to playfully seem like you weren’t having fun even though Alex knows you were. You narrow your eyes and dryly tell him “You’re fucking hilarious, aren’t you?”

Alex grins and grabs your arse again just to tease you now, offering, “Want another one?”

You gulp. You half want him to spank your arse again.

And because you clearly still have no control over your body, you subconsciously press your thighs together again. Which Alex obviously feels you do and he smirks down over you.

“Do not smirk at me like that.” You tell him off as you get all embarrassed once more.

You push his hand away from your arse again but he just ends up resting it on your hip as he smiles down, clearly very happy with himself, as he tells you, “Control your body then.”

“Little hard to do after a night like that, Alex.” You remind him with knowing eyes.  

Last night you let every inhibition go. You let your best friend be in control and have his way with you whilst you came along and enjoyed the ride, and you had a great time.

“Best night of your life.” Alex smirks.

You roll your eyes and give him no answer, just telling him, “You’ll never know.”

“I know everything I need to know.” He tries to hide his smile but it just doesn’t work.

But he looks adorable so you don’t entirely mind.

“Least I know another lyric from Fluorescent Adolescent was right.” Alex chuckles before pecking your lips. You raise your eyebrows for him to elaborate though and he explains, “You like your gentleman not to be gentle.”

It takes everything in you not to sigh and tell him off for releasing that to the world even though he was clearly just guessing at the time and it was years ago. Still embarrassing for you to now know another of your favourite songs is about you.

“I like gentle sometimes. I like it mixed.” You tell your best friend honestly, “But with you bringing up angry make up sex, how could I not want it like that?”

Alex starts smirking again at that so you just try to knock him down a peg or two by saying, “Also, after thinking about it, it’s creepy that you co-wrote a song about me with your ex… Like even more so one that you fucked me off for.”

Alex sighs, and in his eyes you can see him apologising again, but your best friend shakes his head as he also tells you, “She literally wrote a few lines Y/N/N. Just didn’t want her to come back and sue me.”

“Was it her or you that wrote the book of sex tips line?” You ask just to tease him.

“It was an American Pie reference.” Alex rolls his eyes but then smiles as he starts pressing kisses to your skin again, “But funnily enough Y/N/N, I didn’t need a book to figure out what you like. You’ve always been very responsive.”

Your best friend starts nipping his way down your neck again as he says that to you. And once finished he attacks the spot at the base of your neck where the bastard makes a whimper fall from the back of your throat.

You hate yourself for letting the noise out, and even more so when Alex picks his head up and grins, “Thanks for proving my point there, Angel.”

You just roll your eyes and ignore that comment. But you do give him credit where it’s due, “Not gunna lie Alex, I’m really glad you know me as well as you do because I had a pleasant night.”

Alex snorts at the use of the word ‘pleasant’ but he doesn’t comment on it. He just grins and kisses you once more after saying. “Certainly glad you agreed I could take you home.” and you happily kiss him back.

~*~*~*~

Alex’s lips are still on yours as the both of you stumble into his room. You have no time to see that he’s got the painting of your spot you made him for Christmas hung up on the wall.

Your best friend makes you gasp when he tears the claps on your top open and you hear the metal pieces fall to the floor. You can’t argue with him though because the gasp allows Alex to deepen your kiss again.

The next time you do part from the kiss though is when Alex is clearly struggling to remove your skirt. He keeps tugging the material down, hoping it will fall past your hips without undoing the zip but it’s really not going to happen.

“It’s got a zip, you idiot.” You laugh as he tries his best to pull the material of your skirt down when the zip doesn’t move.

Alex tries tugging the zip down again but because of his rush it just sticks. You can feel his annoyance at your clothing whilst he’s kissing you, and then he tugs it again and fails. You can hear his anger at is as he says, “It’s not fucking unzipping.”

“Just pull it you fool.” You laugh as you begin to unbutton his shirt.

You need to feel his skin at this point. If nothing else, you at least deserve a feast for your eyes after being edged twice.

You kiss him again as you undo his shirt, but your hands stop on the buttons after you hear the fabric of your skirt tearing and it goes loose around you.

As it drops to the floor, Alex starts kissing your neck which gives you enough time to say, “You better not have just ripped my skirt, Turner.”

His hands pull your waist into his body, arching your back so you’re pulled completely against him and he kisses up your neck as he promises, “I’ll buy you a new one.”

You begin to laugh until your best friend makes you whine as he sucks the spot just under your ear. At this point you push his shirt from his shoulders so it falls down his body and as Alex pulls away from your skin and his hands go up to the back of your bra, you pointedly ask him, “Need help taking off my bra without ripping it?”

“Don’t get cocky.” Alex raises his eyebrows at you, telling you quite seriously that you’re still in no position of power tonight.

Something which you don’t mind about because you trust Alex wholeheartedly to take care of you. But you know you really hold all the cards, if you wanted to stop he would be off you instantly asking if you were alright.

Seeing Alex’s eyes now full of mischief, you warn him, “Don't even think about it. It was expensive.” as his fingers find the clasp.

Thankfully, your best friend listens to you and takes your bra off without ripping it. And once that is stripped from you, Alex traps you in a hot kiss before he pushes you down onto his bed.

Falling back onto the mattress you start giggling at him smiling over you, and you can’t help but grin when he starts crawling up your body and he leaves a trail of kisses on your skin.

“So fucking beautiful, Angel.” Alex tells you just before he kisses you again.

You pull him down into the kiss and route your fingers into his hair. “Missed this.” Your best friend tells you between desperate kisses, “Missed you.”

And it makes your heart even more erratic than it already is. Both of you kiss each other like you’re catching up on lost time after that. You’re shameless with the way you grab him and clutch his skin, and you don’t hold back the moans he draws from you either.

The feeling of his body against yours and his hands on your skin makes your body tingle with anticipation. Even more so when his kisses start heading back down your body again but his hands reach where he clearly wants to go first. You’re excited for him to take the last of your clothes off so you eagerly lift your hips when he finds your underwear. But you hear the material tear and you could murder your best friend right now.

“Whoops.” Alex smirks sarcastically as he pulls the ripped material down your legs and throws them somewhere in his room.

You’re too seething to bother to watch where they land though. You tell your best friend off as he leans back down over you and starts dotting kisses up your body again, “You’re a prick, I bought them for-”

His lips cut you off as he didn’t want to hear you scorn him but after hearing your sentence, he pulls away wanting to know, “For who?”

“You.” You now begrudgingly tell him as he starts kissing down your neck.

You can feel the smirk as he says, “When did you get the time to do that? Been planning this for a while Angel?”

“I bought them for our date last year. Saw them back at the flat and changed into them because I wanted to feel nice for the gig.” You tell your best friend as your fingers route through his hair and tug on it as you enjoy the feeling of him kissing your skin. You breathlessly add, “Don't worry, I won’t waste my money on fancy underwear for you again if you’re going to tear them off me.”

“Amazing, does that go for the clothes I ripped too?” Alex says with a cheeky grin, picking his head up so he can see you. He looks you up and down with lust clear to see in his eyes and asks, “Get you like this all the time then?”

You pull him towards you so he’ll kiss your lips again and just before they connect, you complain, “I hate you.”

Because you practically do at this moment in time. You’ve been teased so much, edged twice, and you're throbbing for him. You desperately want the relief an orgams would bring you, but he won’t give you one.

Alex mumbles against your lips, “No, you don't.” before pulling away and he starts kissing down your body like this is the first time he’s ever seen it again.

You tell him not to mark up your neck because you’re not teenagers anymore and you can’t be walking around with lovebites on show all the time. But that just leaves your best friend to make up every other place on your body. And he takes his sweet time.

Your fingers are tugging on his hair for the duration of his slow travels down your body. Pulling at it when he does something you enjoy makes him repeat his actions over and over and you love it.

The man spends most of his time dedicating his attention to your breasts. As his mouth couldn’t occupy both, his hand was certainly on the other and he gives both the attention that they deserve.

Sucking, biting, pinching them until you release your sweet moans for him that just drive him on further. You know when morning comes they’ll be bruised just like they were the first time he ever had the chance to show you a good time, only difference being this time Alex knows exactly how you enjoy him teasing you and he revels in that fact and uses his knowledge to his advantage.

He knows that you're tugging on his hair and whimpering because you actually want him to move back up your body and kiss your mouth again, but he doesn’t. He wants you needy. He wants you wanting him even more than you already do. Alex wants you desperate.

Alex spends his sweet time trailing his lips down your body, loving each way you react to him. For you it feels like half an hour has passed of him just appreciating your body and when he eventually makes it to your hips you get your hopes up.

But of course, you shouldn’t. Your best friend kneels himself up then and he looks down at you sprawled out on his bed. You’d feel self conscious if you weren’t so turned on and he didn’t voice exactly what he was thinking, “You’re so fucking perfect Angel. I’ll never get tired of seeing you like this.”

The smile the both of you share then is so genuine, your heart melts and simultaneously beats a lot faster. Even more so when Alex leans down and kisses your knee and then asks, “Can I taste you again?”

You don’t know how your breath didn’t hitch, but you manage to nod, “Yes.”

“Not a ‘please’ there?” Alex teases with a grin after kissing another spot on the inside of your knee.  

You shake your head as you watch your best friend eagerly, “I told you, I don’t beg.” trying your best to keep some sort of power in this situation but

“Oh Angel,” Alex smirks, “You’ve been begging in every way other than verbally... Your eyes are screaming please.”

Immediately though they go hard, and you turn bratty and say, “Right now they’re screaming get a move on.”

But Alex does the opposite. That man takes his sweet time kissing the insides of your thighs until he has you writhing, hips bucking towards him to try and get him to touch you where you’re throbbing for him.

However, the attention is on your thighs and your thighs alone. He’s sucking marks onto them for what feels like a year before he switches to the other one and it leaves you so worked up you practically have tears in your eyes due to the need for any stimulation.

You let out a moan when Alex says, “So wet for me Angel. Good to know that hasn’t changed.”

All the dirty talk flips your stomach and you whine before you desperately tell him to, “Hurry up.”

“I don’t think you being a brat is going to help you in this situation, Angel.” Alex tells you before he switches back to your other thigh and your head falls back onto the mattress with your bottom lip in a pout.  

Alex must catch on after another minute of his pleasurable taunting, because he ends up asking, “You want my fingers? Or my mouth?”

It’s a demand that falls from your lips, “Both.”

You’ll take fucking anything at this point. Your body feels like it’s screaming at you.

“Greedy girl.” Alex smirks before repositioning himself on the bed, but he pushes your further by demanding, “Pick one first.”

At this point you just want to shut him up and cum. So you very easily pick, “Your mouth.”

You want to scream when he tauntingly asks, “You sure?” just to tease you.  

“Alex!” You yell, just fucking hoping he’d take the hint and get a move on. You have no patience left for his games, you’re desperate.

But of course, your best friend is in a teasing mood, so he gives you the exact opposite of what you wanted.

His fingers slip inside you with ease again and with his thumb already teasing your clit he has you moaning for him in seconds. Fucking you with his fingers has Alex really restraining himself from wanting to taste you properly again, especially when he knows that you’re moans would just be louder and you’d pull on his hair like he fucking loves.

Alex thinks that he’s now found another thing he loves about you in the bedroom. The way you react to him talking to you. He’s never been this filthy with you before but you really seem to be enjoying it.

“You’re so good for me Angel. So responsive.” He smirks and curls his fingers inside you again which has you moaning his name. It fuels his ego to an entirely different level as he watches you clutch his bedding and he loves that it’s him that’s getting to see you like this again.

“You like it when I do that, don’t you?” He asks you, really wanting to hear you say it.

You breathlessly nod, your eyes closed in pure bliss just focussing on the feeling of his thumb rubbing circles on your clit and the way his fingers pump in and out of you. But clearly, your non-verbal response isn’t what your best friend is after.

“Words Angel.” Alex instructs which he can tell is beginning to annoy you but you won’t say anything because you know he’ll stop if you don’t answer him.

“Yes, I like it.” You nod between ragged breaths.

Alex smirks and starts kissing down your thigh again, and in between he asks, “Want me to do it again?”

Your reply is instant this time with a plea of, “Yes.” so your best friend doesn’t hesitate to curl his fingers again.  

Your pleasured whine fills the room and rings in Alex’s ears. The noise does wonders for his ego and it goes straight to his cock that’s already leaking precum into his underwear.

“Fuck Y/N/N.” Alex moans this time, and you all but lose yourself when he praises you, “You’re such a good girl for me. Filthy but so good.”

After pulling another few moans from you, Alex takes you by surprise. One second he removed his thumb from your clit and you’re about to shout at him for doing it but the next second his mouth has taken over. You can’t help the loud, “Oh fuck.” that falls from your lips.

Alex eats you out like he’s not in a rush. Like he could spend all day between your thighs and he’d think it was a day well spent. Almost like hearing you moan or gasp, “Alex.” was his only goal and he was happy to achieve it over and over again.

You’re shameless with the noises that you let slip from your lips. Your body feels like it’s tingling with all the pent up sexual energy that keeps building inside you and you can’t wait to finally feel that relief you’ve been craving. You’ve definitely been up here more than 15 minutes now but you’re still anxious just in case your best friend won’t let you finish again.

Knowing he can feel everything that’s going on inside you, you try your best not to clench around his fingers so you don’t give away that you’re so close to your orgasm. Your aim is so cum like this so he doesn’t succeed in his edging game. And you are sure you're going to finish at any second. So you relax completely knowing it’ll be a few more flicks of his tongue on your clit and a curl of his fingers and it’ll be over for you.

But all of a sudden every sensation you’re feeling is gone. And you writhe in disappointment.

“No Alex.” Whine almost sounding like you’re in pain. “Alex, no, no.”

But your best friend just smirks and crawls his way back up your body to say, “Shhhh Angel.”

You want to wipe the grin off his face but he traps you in a kiss. You can taste yourself on his tongue and whilst the kiss is great, you’re still throbbing, needing to finish at this point. So even when your best friend pulls away and tells you that, “You taste so good.” you just want him to give you your orgasm.

You demand as you push on his shoulder, “Alex, go back down.” but your best friend just grins at you and starts kissing down your jaw.

“I think I’ve been nice, Angel.” Alex says as he starts kissing down your neck, “Done so much to you already and I’m struggling here… You think you can return the favour?”

You nod eagerly, clearly wanting to appease him as much as you can so he’ll hopefully start railing you. Alex likes to tease you though. He presses his still clothed bottom half against you and asks, “Can you feel how hard you've made me?”

Your best friend can tell from the lust that’s clouded your eyes and your eager moan just how much you need him. He isn’t surprised at all when you say, “Want you Alex.”

“Maybe if you suck me off first?” Alex bargains with you and to give you more encouragement, he kisses back up your neck as he says, “Come on, Angel. I’ve missed that filthy mouth of yours.”

You don’t know what possesses you, but after he traps you in another kiss, you get yourself off the bed, pulling him with you.

Undoing his jeans, you let them fall to the floor and you pull down his underwear too. After all you’ve already gone through this evening your mouth is watering at the sight of his cock.

He looks painfully hard and you can’t wait to take him into your mouth. Without hesitation, you kiss down his body as you sink to your knees.

“You want to bruise your knees for me, Angel?” Alex asks with the beginnings of a smirk on his lips.

You nod, looking up at him as you take a hold of him in your hand. After you lick up the underneath of his cock, you shamelessly enjoy the hitch it causes in Alex's breath.

But you enjoy the way he grabs a fistful of your hair once you take him into your mouth even more. And that just drives you to pressing your thighs together to try and get any sort of relief from this but it does little to help. Your nails just dig the tiniest bit harder into his thighs.

Alex can’t help but watch you as you bring him the pleasures he’s longed for. And the way your eyes are closed as you continue drives Alex insane because he can tell you’re enjoying everything you’re doing. Which leads him to tell you, “You’re so fucking filthy, Angel... My dirty girl. Making me feel so good.”

You moan around him then and start bobbing your head faster, loving the fact his grip in your hair gets tighter every time you do. But after a minute, you pull off him and you look up at your best friend to tell him, “Use me.”

“What?” Alex looks down at you, almost a little dazed or confused.

That is until you look into his brown eyes and tell him, “Fuck me.”

How Alex’s heart doesn’t give out on him, he doesn’t know. To make sure he understands what you want, he asks you directly, “You want me to fuck your mouth, Angel?”

When you nod, Alex shakes his head slightly and instructs, “Words.”

Out of slight embarrassment that you’re asking him to do this, you close your eyes as you answer, “Yes.”

Alex tells you, “Look at me.” and you hesitate but do so anyway.

Once you’re looking into his eyes again, your best friend cups your face and asks, “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” You nod.

Alex takes a second to commit this to his memory. He doesn’t believe he’s ever been so lucky in his life and he wants to remember every second.

“Okay, Angel.” Alex’s heart thuds in his chest at the mere thought, but he nods, “I’ll give you what you want.”

You drop your jaw and after you start sucking him off again you gradually stop moving and let your best friend take over. His thrusts make you close your eyes as your head becomes fuzzy with desire and want. The lightheadedness you’re experiencing adds to the sinful moment for you because you feel like with every noise that your best friend lets free from his lips, it’s adding to your own pleasure.

His encouragements make you moan onto his cock too. If you weren’t already a slut for being praised, you really would have found that out about yourself tonight. Truly, you can’t help the noises that fall through your lips when you’re so overcome by lust when Alex praises you, “You’re so fucking perfect, Y/N/N.”

But the loudest of your moans - which in any other circumstances you would be embarrassed about - would be when Alex talks as he’s got his hand routed into your hair as he thrusts into your mouth, “You're probably dripping down your thighs, you're so wet for me as I’m doing this. Aren’t you Angel?”

Alex can’t help but want to smile at the way you seem so out of it, completely overcome by the lust you’re clearly feeling, that you even try to nod in response to his question. You look like you’d do anything for him in this moment, entirely blissed out and your eagerness to bring him as much pleasure as possible is such a turn on.

The way your nails are digging into his thighs and the way you moan each time he pulls your hair. The way your jaw is so relaxed so you can take him the deepest you can, Alex can’t help but be completely in awe of you and your actions.

After a few minutes, Alex gives the control back to you, “Now you, Angel.” and you don’t disappoint.

You lick, spit, suck and take him as far down your throat as you can manage after it’s just been fucked minutes prior. Tears threaten to spill from your eyes when you look up at him as you continue to give him the best blowjob of his life and Alex can’t help but moan into his bedroom at the sight and feel of you.

“Fucking hell,” Alex praises, his jaw hanging open entirely unable to contain himself. “You’re such a good girl, Y/N.”

You moan as you continue having to close your eyes again as you’re completely overcome with the need to please Alex. After hearing that you strive to make him cum. Your hand finds his balls and you roll them striving to make him cum and within a minute of you doing so, Alex ends up having to say, “That’s enough.”

But you don’t even seem to hear him. You're still sucking him off like your life depends on it. It takes everything in Alex to hold off his impending orgasm and tell you again.

“Enough, Y/N/N.” Alex tells you, pulling you from his cock completely now.

You’re looking up at him with starry eyes and when Alex reaches down to help you back up to your feet, he cups your face as he softly tells you, “When I cum it’s going to be inside you. Not down your throat.” And when all you can give him inreturn is a starry eyed nod, Alex traps your swollen lips in a hot kiss.  

~*~*~*~

You prolong Alex’s kiss a little, savouring the morning kisses that warm your soul. He’s so adorable with you and you’ve been craving his kisses a lot in the past 24 hours.

So because you’re going to stay, you decide to let your best friend know what you expect of him, “I might need to be selfish and ask you to kiss me today, if you don’t mind?”

Alex looks at you curiously so you elaborate, with a coy smile, “Because when I don’t get kisses during a night like that, I get sad.”

“I told you to stop asking for them and just kiss me…” Alex grins, absolutely loving that you’re basically asking him to kiss you all day. But he feels like he does need to remind you, “Besides, I gave you lots of kisses.”

You sigh as he places 4 kisses on you. One on your shoulder, one at the bottom of your neck, one just under your ear and the other on your lips just before you say, “Not near enough as many as where I wanted them.”

“Didn’t hear you complaining about where my mouth was, Angel.” Alex smirks down at you and you use all your willpower not to go all embarrassed.

“I wasn’t complaining,” You correct him, “I was just meaning I wanted more kisses.”

Alex leans down and kisses you softly for a long few seconds as the both of you try to suppress your grins. When your best friend pulls away from the kiss, he promises you, “I’ll give you all the kisses you want when you wake back up.”

You steal one more from him after nodding to confirm that you’re very okay with that. And once Alex is satisfied that you’re not going to try and leave him again, he lies himself back down on the bed but he stays on his side facing you.

Doing the same, you face your best friend as you’re still silently grinning at each other like lovestruck teenagers. Both of you just admire the other for a minute, not feeling the need to say anything.

You both get back under the covers and comfy enough that you start relaxing and letting sleep seep back into your systems.

You can tell he’s tired, and now you really think about it, the last thing you should have done was try and sneak out just after 8 in the morning. You’d have been knackered all day because your other best friend would be keeping you up asking for all the juicy details. And whilst there was lots of that to share, you are exhausted and definitely need more rest. The lazy day Alex wants with you sounds blissful.

Getting entirely lost staring at your best friend’s features, Alex almost startles you when he brings you out of your thoughts.

“You're still so beautiful Y/N,” Alex smiles, looking into your gorgeous eyes as he reiterates, “Literally so stunning.”

“Thank you Cutie.” You smile, cupping his face and stroking your thumb across his cheek.

And you carry on doing that until you fall asleep. After a few minutes, Alex gently takes ahold of your hand to kiss your palm before holding it until sleep takes over him too.

~*~*~*~

“Come here, Angel.” Alex pulls you body back into his as he guides the both of you back to his bed.  

You almost let out a squeal at the way he picks you up and he places you down on the bed with him hovering over you still. “I fucking adore you.” Alex tells you before trapping you in another deep kiss that has you rooting your fingers in his hair to prolong it.

“You’re so good to me.” Alex praises breathlessly as he kisses down your jaw. “Trying to make me cum like that when I haven’t let you yet. I’m not that mean.”

“You going to make me cum now?” You ask in a much less bratty tone than you had with him earlier.

This time you sound like you’re pleading. A genuine hopeful question this time, as if you’re almost at the point where you’re willing to beg for him.

Alex teases you as he kisses down your neck, shrugging, “Depends.”

“On what?” You ask him and Alex smirks against your neck at the way you’re clutching his body to yours.

“If you’re good or not.” Alex says into your ear.

You’re almost panting, your eyes closed in pleasure as he kisses down your neck, “I’m always good.”

Alex smirks hearing you say that, your desperation is really coming out now. But he teases you and only kisses you for a while longer.

“You want me inside you?” Alex asks after another minute of the two of you mindlessly kissing and grabbing at each other’s bodies desperately.

“Yes.” You nod.

Alex teasingly asks, “How desperately?” Between kisses.

You whine into his mouth and try to buck your hips up against his. And when you make contact it causes both of you to moan. You tell him, ”That much.”

“You’re so fucking desperate for me, look at you Angel.” Alex smirks, feeling just how wet you are for him as your legs are practically wrapped around him and one of his hands comes to grip underneath your thigh.

Moaning at his words, you end up whining, “Fuck me, Alex.”

“Patience Angel, we'll get to it.” And your best friend silences you with another kiss.

Alex takes his sweet time kissing down your body again and he works you up with just his mouth on your skin. But by the time his mouth attaches to yours again he can practically feel how urgent you are to get things started.

It’s no surprise to him at all when you whine, “I need you.”

“Need you too.” Alex smiles a little before he asks you if you still want to do this and if you’re ready.

You don’t hesitate to tell him you are. And when Alex lines himself up and finally eases himself inside you, you can’t help the words that fall from your lips as your nails dig into his shoulder blades, “Oh fuck, fuck.”

The pleasurable stretch of him finally being back inside you is a feeling like nothing else after he’s worked you up so much tonight. You’re beyond ready to be completely overwhelmed with pleasure and Alex releasing a long moan down your ear and it just adds to it.

Initially, Alex doesn’t move. He lets you adjust to him in your own time and as he does, your best friend places one kiss on your shoulder, another on your collarbone. Between the kiss on your neck and the one just under your ear Alex praises, “So good for me, Angel.”

And he kisses you sweetly again which you respond to just how Alex wants. You relax into the gesture and after a few seconds, Alex pulls away enough to ask you, “Can I move?”

“Yes.” You nod and Alex leans down to kiss you again as he sets a steady pace.

It’s everything Alex has wanted and more. The feel of you around him and under him again has him really restraining himself, wanting this to last as long as it possibly can.

The moans slipping from your lips right into his ear fuel him on. He loves everything about this moment with you, taking absolutely nothing for granted and striving to bring you as much pleasure as possible.

Alex is glad that he’s found that his words can add to that now too. Which is why when you just about manage to say, “Harder.” your best friend decides to tantalise you again.

“You want me harder?” Alex asks, not relenting his current pace at all. He just waits until you desperately nod up at him and grip him even tighter before he smirks, “Not my innocent little Angel anymore, are you?”

You just about manage to shake your head before your best friend traps you in another searing kiss. The room becomes significantly hotter when Alex starts fucking into you harder than before.

The helpless moans he forces out of you make Alex even more determined to push you to having the best orgasm you’ve ever had. And the noises you let out and the way you grip his body have words spilling from his own lips.

“You’re so fucking perfect, Y/N/N.” He praises, “Taking me so well.”

And he can see from the way your eyes screw shut when he says that and by the way your breath hitches, that his words turn you on even more. You really weren’t lying when you said you had a praise kink.

“Faster, Alex.” You plead with your eyes closed in bliss, breathlessly telling him, “Want you hard and fast.”

And when Alex obliges, it’s music to his ears. Every thrust has you moaning out for him. Your nails scratching down his back and pulling on his hair to try and keep yourself grounded.

Alex loves hearing and seeing you let yourself go though. He even teases some more, “Who’s making you feel so good Angel?”

“You, Alex.” There’s no hesitation at all from you when you say that.  

You clearly have no control of what’s leaving your mouth anymore because Alex is genuinely surprised and thrilled by your answer to his next question, “Don’t feel this good with anyone else, do you?”

“No, just you.” You ramble as your nails dig into his skin even deeper with each thrust, “Just you… Oh fuck, Alex!”

That was caused by him grabbing his bed frame and he uses that as leverage to thrust into you even harder. Moans turn louder then, and with Alex kissing your neck when he can too, you fully give into every pleasure he brings you. So much that you lose yourself in the experience.

There’s no way in hell you’re going to last long with him railing you like this and Alex already knows. It’s another of the many reasons why he keeps up with his sweet talk.

“You going to cum for me, Angel?”  

Desperately, you nod, “Yes.”

It’s the one thing you’ve been striving for all night. You need it. You need him to give it you.

“You going to moan my name when you do?” Alex asks.

“Yes.” You promise.

“Good girl.” Alex praises, trapping you in another kiss before the both of you helplessly moan into the others mouths as your best friend continues to fuck you.

Your best friend moans out at the way your fingernails scratch down his shoulder blades, adding to his pleasure even more. The way you lean up and kiss his neck when his thrusts allow also has him completely head over heels for you.

Both your bodies are covered in a fine layer of sweat making the room hot and filled with the aroma of sex. The vibrating erotic and lustful energy between you makes it feel like when he puts his lips on your skin, you could ignite. It feels that way anyway.

Alex really has to hold himself together when you moan down into his ear in the most carnal way. It just fuels his movements and he continues thrusting into you hard and fast, just like you asked for.

There’s no filter from what falls from your swollen lips at this point, which is why you try and get out, “Alex, I- I’m going to-”  

As if he didn’t already know. Alex can see you succumbing to the pleasure he’s instilling in you now. He can feel just how close you are. And your best friend uses the information to his full advantage.

Alex thrusts once, twice more… but then he pulls out of you, leaving you right on the edge for the 4th time. But never for the life of him would he have done that if he knew just how you’d react.

“No no no.” You repeat to yourself over and over as you begin to lose yourself to the moment completely.

Clearly, your best friend has found your breaking point because water starts pooling in your eyes, “Alex please, please.”

“Al,” He’s never heard you sound so desperate in your life, “Please, please!”

But your best friend soon realises that it’s not just you begging, you’re genuinely upset and the lack of control you seem to have over your mind and body leads you to desperately cry for him, “I can’t I, I- I need to- Alex, please I-“

Your best friend is shocked beyond belief. He’d have never thought pushing you just once more would result in you getting tearful and you begging him almost like you’re stuck on repeat.

All he wanted to do was prolong how long the both of you could go for but clearly he’s edged you one to many times tonight. And he feels awful about it. Instantly, Alex tries his best to calm you down the best he can and he wipes the tears from your face as he looks down at you with a face filled with concern.

“Angel, it’s okay.” He coos, brushing the loose hairs from your face and catching your tears on his thumb. Softly, he continues, “Shhh, it’s okay… Calm down for me.”

“Alex, I need-” You say through jittery breaths. Your thoughts are clearly jumbled because you end up begging, “Please make me finish Alex, please.” as more tears fall from your gorgeous eyes.

“Okay okay Angel, you’re okay.” Your best friend tells you, wanting to appease you but first he needs to make sure you’re alright.  

Your best friend worries for a minute, as he clearly didn’t mean to push you to such a subspace as he had done. He wanted to push the boundaries of how far you’d let him go but he never expected this.

Guilt is eating away at him as he comforts you, “Stop crying Angel please. You’re okay.” And he litters your face with kisses to try and distract you a little.

He wants your tears to stop. He wants you alright again before the thought of you continuing even enters his head.

“I need you.” You helplessly repeat as the tears fall down your face as you’ve got the tightest grip on his hair so he can’t go anywhere. Not that he was even thinking of doing. “I need you, Al.”  

“You’ve got me Y/N/N.” Alex assures you, regretting his decision to try and prolong the euphoria you were both clearly feeling a minute ago. “You’ve got me. It’s okay, shhh.”

He tries to calm you down, like the way he has done every time you’ve ever cried in his presence. These tears have never been like the others though. These are out of need, frustration, and desperation.

“I’m sorry, I’ll make it better, okay.” Your best friend promises you as he cups your cheek. “Okay?”

You don’t really respond to what he’s saying so he tries to ask again, “Okay?” and you just about nod, assuring him you’ve understood.

And thankfully after another minute, the tears have stopped and you thankfully are alright. Clearly, the edging had got to you far more than Alex or you could have ever anticipated and despite the fact you’ve stopped crying, Alex is still a little worried, “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes, just please.” You’re more coherent now, but still begging, “I need you to make me finish.”

Lust still clouds your eyes, and the desperation is still there. You’re gripping him just as hard as you were before, Alex doesn’t really know how you haven’t pulled any of his hair out yet.

“Okay Angel,” Alex nods, peppering small kisses around your face again, trying to make sure you’re all relaxed before he even thinks about it, “I promise I will. You’re okay Angel, you’re okay.”

After another minute of him making sure you’re truly alright, you plead with him enough to get the both of you to start back up again. Once Alex is back inside you, he’s overly careful with you this time.

He’s grabbed your hand and he uses that one to hold himself up so the both of you can’t let go of each other and he kisses you again before he starts to slowly thrust again. “This okay?”

Clearly, you’re still in a very subby mindset because you nod just as desperately as before and plead, “Yeah, please let me finish. Please.”

“I will Angel,” Alex promises, clearly knowing he can’t edge you again. “I got you.”

Your best friend speeds up a little. It’s nowhere near the same as it was earlier, he’s probably going slower than when he began earlier. But there’s a different dynamic now.

This feels more intimate. You keep trapping him in kisses by tugging on his hair so his lips don’t leave yours all that often. It’s gentle and caring and clearly full of emotion.

Even though Alex can tell by the whimpers of pleasure you’re letting out for him, Alex has to ask, “That feel nice?”

“Yeah,” You’re getting breathless again now, and with each of his thrusts, your eyes roll back in satisfaction. That doesn’t stop the soft begs leaving your lips though, “Please Alex.”

Alex promises, “I got you, Angel.”

And within minutes, Alex can feel your desperation taking over again. Your hand is gripping his even tighter, the way you kiss him becomes more staggered as you’re trying to catch your breath more often.

Both of you are hot and sweaty again. Your legs are wrapped around his hips so tightly ensuring that he can’t do anything but continue his thrusts. Your foreheads are pressed together at this point and you’re moaning into each other's mouths with your eyes laced shut in pure bliss.

It’s unsurprising when a minute later you feel the tension in your lower stomach reach its optimum. “Alex.” You moan, and Alex knows before you even say it, “Can I?”

He can feel your legs starting to shake around him and he can tell that you’re close just from the feeling of being inside you. Alex doesn’t hesitate to encourage you, “Yes Angel, cum for me.”

Within a few more thrusts, your orgams takes over you completely. From the build up of tension your body has been put through, the relief is unlike anything else.

You see white and you’re not quite sure what sounds you release as you bask in the pleasure that’s sending tingles up and down your body. It’s certain that you’ll never be asking Alex, that is one he can keep for himself because you’re sure that you’d get embarrassed.

Alex finishes just after you, releasing inside you and moaning down your ear that just seems to prolong your high even further. Your orgams lasts a long while and Alex helps you ride through it. He continues thrusting into you until he’s genuinely exhausted and then he kisses you gently as you’re still clearly feeling everything to an even more intense level than you’ve ever experienced with him before.

You know that when Alex pulls out of you, he rests beside you and he asks you if you’re okay. Your eyes are still fixed shut, not wanting to open them as you can still feel your orgasm lingering after a minute and you don’t want it to end.

Other than your panting, you’re silent as you try to regain your breath. The tingles still feel like they're running through your bones and you just lay there deadly still on your best friend's bed. If he didn’t know any better, Alex would think he’d broken you.

After another minute of you not really moving and just basking in the high, Alex gets up and when he comes back you feel a warm, damp cloth cleaning you up which you’re thankful for. And after another minute passes, you finally feel your high fizzle away so at that point you open your eyes and glance at your best friend who’s lying beside you once again.

When your eyes meet the stunning brown ones of his, Alex leans towards you and traps you in another kiss. Afterwards, you get yourself up, knowing you need to clean yourself up even more in his ensuite.

When you come back into his room a few minutes later, you should realise that the duvet you just got fucked on is a completely different colour, but you don’t. You don’t realise that your best friend had stripped his own covers off his duvet to wash, before going to get the one from the spare room for you both to sleep with.

You’re too tired. Truly, you’re surprised you can manage to open your eyes enough to get back in bed with your best friend. But when you do, both of you end up reaching for each other. You’re both entirely exhausted and blissed out, but you can’t even bring yourself to say anything. You just let exhaustion take over.

~*~*~*~*~*~

You’re woken up, you don’t know how long later by Alex groaning in annoyance, “What is that fucking noise?”

Even before opening your eyes, you can feel that you’re pressed up against your best friend, clearly having gravitated towards each other in your sleep. You can feel that you’re tucked into his chest and your head is tucked under his chin and he’s holding you tighter to him in annoyance at whatever it is that’s woken him up.

It takes a few seconds for your other senses to come to you, sight being the last because you really don’t want to get up. You’re so comfy and lovely and warm, you want to stay like this all day.

But when your ears tune into the familiar alarm that’s clearly blaring from downstairs in Alex’s apartment, your eyes fly wide open. Fuck.

You push on your best friend's chest a little as you say, “You need to let me get up.”

Alex however, hears that and decides to hold you tighter and he shakes his head, “Absolutely not.”

“Alex,” You say sharply, trying your best to untuck your head from under his chin so he can see you’re serious when you say, “Unless you want me to have your children, you need to let me up right now.”

That certainly grabs your best friend’s attention, and he looks down at you, asking with a curious yet confused expression, “Why are you having my children?”

“Because if you don’t let me out of my bed to take the pill, you may get a very big surprise in nine months time.” You say as you manage to move further away from him a little but his arms around you tighten once again.

“You wouldn’t tell me until you actually gave birth?” Alex scoffs a little, faking hurt, “That’s nasty.”

You raise a good point, “You’d have got me pregnant by not letting me out of bed so that’s nastier.”

But your best friend refuses to let go of you. Naturally, you sigh, “Alex.” and when that doesn’t work, you resort to old techniques. You poke him just under his ribs in his side and thankfully he jumps and his hold on you falters.

Making the most of the few seconds you’ve caught him off guard, you get yourself up out of bed. Glancing at his clock, you notice that it’s now 11am and you definitely feel a little more rested which you’re thankful for.

“You want a glass of water?” You ask before you get to his door.

And you like the way Alex tiredly smiles at you, “Yes please, Angel.” as you leave.

You walk down the stairs with a skip in your step and you have a smile on your face as you walk over to your bag that you threw to the floor when you were pushed inside last night. You walk to the kitchen digging into your bag, having to pull out your The 1975 merch that you made Matty steal for you before you left to the bar last night, and you get your phone out.

After turning the alarm off, you find the packet of pills and pop out the one for today and you take it after pouring yourself a glass of water. You take a long few sips of it, the cold liquid doing wonders for your throat and dry mouth.

As you drink, you look around your best friend’s open plan living area and you can’t help but glance over to the wall of windows. It’s honestly stunning and the daylight coming through makes the whole place shine.

However, memories of last night come rushing back when you see a few of your sketching pencils lying on the floor by your desk. You almost choke on your water when you see that there are handprints on the window by the desk, and when you look just to the right of it by a metre or so you immediately stop drinking your water and find the window cleaner under the sink.

~*~*~*~

Waking up to the sound of your best friend softly snoring beside you is something that you love but hate. You love it because you feel entirely at ease being back next to him, almost like no time has passed at all.

You certainly feel like you could stay beside him all night with how you’re cuddled into him. But you hate it because you can’t stay like this, and the reason is that you’ve woken up with a horrendously dry mouth.

Unfortunately, you desperately need a drink so you have to slowly wriggle out of your best friend's hold. Managing to somehow do so without waking him, you grab Alex’s shirt that you push off his shoulders earlier and slip it on as you quietly head downstairs to get yourself some water.

After pouring yourself a glass, you pretty much down it loving how refreshing the cold liquid is. You decide to refill it to take it back up to bed with you, but before you do, you go to stand by your desk which still has discarded sketching pencils that you haven’t picked up in months on the surface.

But you’ve moved to that spot so you can watch as the sun starts rising. Watching sunrises is certainly a rare one for you. Sure, you’re more of a morning person than most of your friends but that doesn’t mean that you watch the sunrise every day.

You know you shouldn’t really be watching the sun, but it really is so beautiful as it casts that orange glow over the city you love so much. It warms your heart seeing your hometown wake up like this. it makes you want to paint it, but you don’t have your things so you’ll settle for appreciating the view instead of chasing to capture it.

You’re unsure how much time passes as you absentmindedly watch on. But the sun has only half risen when you feel arms wrap around you from behind, almost startling you.

You don’t say anything as you lean back into Alex’s chest, enjoying the way he’s happy to watch and admire the view with you. Both of you stand there for a while, with him kissing the top of your head as you share your glass of water, that is until you finish it and Alex briefly lets go of you to put it back on his kitchen island.

“We’re lucky, you know?” Is the first thing you say to your best friend when his arms go back around you and you start leaning back into him again.  

Alex mumbles, “Why’s that?” against your head as he kisses it again.

“We live in such a gorgeous city.” You smile at the view and because of how cute your best friend is being. You tell him honestly though, “I miss it all the time.”

Just from your voice alone, Alex knows you’re being genuine. But he didn’t need anymore persuasion because he tells you what he caught sight of a few hours ago.

Alex uncrosses your left arm, that you were hugging yourself with, and he turns your write up so he can see the ink on your skin, “I saw the Yorkshire rose tattoo earlier. When did you get that?”

It’s just a simple outline of the Yorkshire rose. No where near the size of Alex’s, it’s probably no bigger than a £2 coin but it sits proudly on your wrist, always reminding you of home.

“Just before I left after your birthday.” You explain, and go on to show him your right wrist, “Same day me and Y/B/F got the first initial of each other’s names on our other wrists.”

Alex smiles into your neck seeing that, “I’m fairly certain that if she didn’t have Charlie you two would be married.”

“We would be.” You nod, grinning now as you remind your best friend, craning your neck around so you can see him, “Still got my ‘O Speak Again’ though. That’s essentially your name.”

“And Bright Angel is yours.” Alex grins, remembering the day you both got those tattoo’s fondly.

“On that topic.” You tell your best friend seriously, “Don’t stop calling me Angel ever again.”

Alex frowns a little at that, almost not wanting to remind himself or youm “But you told me to.”

What he says hurts your heart, knowing it’s essentially your fault that you haven't been called Angel by your best friend for months. You feel the need to tell him to make sure it never happens again.  

“I was angry that day.” You dismiss what he says entirely, and you look into his brown eyes so he knows you’re serious when you tell him, “You call me Angel till the day I die. And I’ll call you Shakespeare and Darling until the same day.”

Alex smiles at you saying that, but it makes your day when he holds up his little finger and softly asks, “Pinky swear?”

You’re smiling like a fool as you hook your finger around his. And you don’t feel the need to say anything else after that.

Turning back to continue watching the sunrise, you get a little lost watching it again. And that mixed when the gentle kisses your best friend places on your head, leaves you with that warm, gooey feeling inside.

However, the air around the both of you changes from sweet to heated when you feel Alex start to tease you by kissing up your neck at the same time his hand from around your waist loosen slightly and begins to wonder. You can tell by the way he kisses your neck alone where this is heading, and his hand that slowly comes up to slip between the buttons of his shirt to grab your boob is just the confirmation of that.

Instantly a grin comes to your lips and you have to stop yourself from giggling. You tilt your head a little to allow him as much room as he likes to kiss your neck as you ask, “We can’t just have a cute moment can we?”

“We’ve had years of cute moments, let me have this.” Alex chuckles as he playfully squeezes your boob whilst he switches to tease the skin on the other side of your neck.

There’s no way in which you can argue with that logic to be fair. He’s definitely right.

With a smile on your lips, you ask, “How do you go from sweet to horny in the space of a minute?”

“I’m always horny when you’re involved.” Alex doesn’t even seem embarrassed to tell you. “Even more so when you’re wearing nothing but my shirt.”

You can guess at every little thought that's running through his mind and you laugh a little at everything he probably wants to do to you whilst you’re trapped here for the night. In all honesty, as long as you’re not teased again like earlier, you’ll happily let him do as he pleases with you.

Alex’s other hand has now travelled back down your body and between your legs where he moans feeling you’re already wet for him and he started teasing your clit with slow circles. Whimpering at the sensation, your head falls back onto Alex’s shoulder due to the bliss he’s inducing all over again.

Your best friend definitely enjoys you being loud for him, because his teasing gets more intense and you can feel the faint line of his lips pulling into a smile on your neck. Your eyes are closed as you savour the way he’s making you feel. You definitely fucking love his hands, that’s a straight fact at this point.

And that mouth. From the kisses he teases you with, to the way you can feel his hot breaths on your skin, making your neck even more sensitive. And the words that spill from his lips have you all but crumbling in his arms. Especially when he’s asks you vulgar questions like, “Can I fuck you over your desk, Angel?”

You just about get out between ragged breaths, “And you think I’m the filthy one.”

“You are.” Alex doesn’t hesitate to tell you honestly, “But I’ve always thought about it every time you were standing here painting and flirting with me.”

Somehow you’re not entirely surprised. After tonight though, you don’t think he’ll ever say anything to shock you again. Your best friend is a suggestive person and now you’ve experienced just how dirty-minded he is, you’re unsure how you’ll look him in the eyes when you next have to look at him when you’re surrounded by your friends knowing exactly the things he’s thinking about you.

“So what's your answer?” Alex brings you out of your head.

Your legs are getting weaker and weaker at this point, as Alex is still teasing your clit. So you don’t give it much thought when you just say, “Please.”

“Using that word very loosely now.” Alex can’t help but smirk a little.

“The edging is finished, Alex.” You make a point of saying because you don’t want that again. However good your orgasm ended up being, you just want him to make you cum without delay. “That’s done. I just want you to fuck me.”

“I know,” Alex can’t help but smirk, but he kisses just below your ear sweetly before saying, “Just want to make you feel good, Angel.”

Before you even know it, you’re being bent over your desk so you’re both facing the window and despite knowing you’re not, you feel like the whole of Sheffield is getting a show. Alex pushes his shirt up your body so your arse is on full display to him and after pulling his boxers off, Alex runs the tip of his hard cock between your legs to tease you even more and make you whine with want before he sinks into you.

Your eyes close at the sensation of him being inside you again and from your heavy breathing alone Alex can tell that you’re already enjoying yourself. “You look fucking stunning, Angel.” Alex tells you and your heart leaps in your chest when he bends himself over the top of you and moves your hair from behind one of your ears so he can tell you, “Such a good girl for me.”

And when he picks himself up from you after the quickest peck on your shoulder blade, you’re taken by surprise when your best friend slaps your arse, hard. Just from the gasp that falls from your lips, Alex knows you liked it and as he starts fucking you at a fast pace just like earlier on, he can tell that you’re enjoying this position too.

Alex’s fingers dig into your hips as he buries himself inside of you over and over again and you can’t help but love the way it’s so strikingly different from your other times with him. You wanted him to show you everything he’s learnt over the years and you were certainly getting the star treatment.

Each movement was pleasure inducing and sensory overload. Each time his hand slapped your arse caused the sweetest moan to fall from those not so innocent lips of yours and Alex is trying to commit the scene to memory but he truly doesn't think he’ll ever forget this.

“Oh fuck, Y/N/N.” He curses, unable to stop himself.

Your best friend watches the way he sinks into you over and over, entirely in awe at the way you’re taking him so well when he’s being rough with you. He’s certain the scene will truly live rent free in his mind for years and he favours the way you gasp and moan things like, “Alex, oh shit, right there.” that you can’t help but let out.

Smirking, your best friend asks as he continues to drill into you, “Does that feel good, Angel?”

Panting, you nod loving the way he talks to you when you’re entirely at his mercy like this. You relish the way you can just let yourself go and give into every last impulse and desire when you’re with him like this.

Your best friend smacks your arse hard causing you to yelp and lose your breath all over again. He drives you fucking insane in the best way possible.

“Words Y/N/N,” Alex demands, leaning over you a little more as he carries on fucking you. He fucks you even harder from this angle and he asks again, “Am I making you feel good?”

“Yes. So good Alex.” You’re breathlessly panting, nodding against the wooden surface you’re pressed against with your eyes closed in pure bliss, “So fucking good.”

You’re glad the filthy mouth of his has made a comeback because you almost melt when he asks you, “Bet you’ve thought about this just as much as me, haven't you?”

Without hesitating you tell him what he wants to hear, “Yes, all the time we were here.” and you’re not completely lying. You had thought about this in moments where you’d get lost in your head.

You’ve fancied him for years and between your history and the flirting, it was in the back of your mind when you were free to get with Alex if you wanted to.

“Thought so.”  Smacks your arse again causing another loud moan as he stands back up properly and he keeps burying his hips into yours with an impossibly tight grip on your hips. “You’re fucking flawless, Angel. Taking me so well.”

The praise makes you moan out for him. Any encouragement you could give him without you explicitly saying it would work nicely for you. Anything to keep him going like this really, and thankfully it works.

Feeling him nudge your heels to move your feet closer together, it makes the feeling of Alex being inside you tighter and more fulfilling, like you can feel more of him. At the same time you feel him gather you long hair and take a handful of it before he wraps it around his fist before he pulls it back so your back is arched a little and he starts relentlessly fucking into you.

Your hands try to keep you steady on the window but all that does is stop your hips from taking all the force of his thrusts like they have been doing. Not that there would be any hope in saving them from bruises now, you know that you’ll be littered in them in a matter of hours.

You truly love everything about Alex being rough with you, but with the way he’s causing your back to arch from the consistent pulling on your hair, it changes the position slightly. And unfortunately it’s not in the best way for you.

His cock hitting your cervix one too many times has you needing to change positions. So you get your best friends attention, hoping for him to choose another position that is just as pleasurable but in which ever way he wants to fuck you.

Once you tell him to switch the positions up a little bit, and you promise him you’re okay again, you’re sitting on the desk with your best friend now between your legs pushing back into you again. Alex has ahold of underneath your legs, keeping them high enough so you have to use your arms to lean back once he starts fucking you again.

His shirt you were wearing pools by your wrists but at this point you really don’t give a shit if anyone could see you or not.

The way your best friend starts fucking you in this position is just as good as it was when you were pressed against the desk. Alex wastes no time trapping you into another kiss and you try your best to kiss him back and not moan out like you want too.

One of your arms ends up leaving the shirt as you reach up to wrap your arm around his neck so you can keep kissing him as his thrusts continue. And it’s heavenly. You genuinely feel like your whole body is on cloud 9.

“Put your arms around my neck for a minute.” Alex instrusts and you go as you’re told after he pauses fucking into you.

Once you have, Alex drops your legs a little but only so he can get a better grip underneath your thighs. You’re about to ask what he’s doing but then you feel him pick you up.

In slight shock, you ask him, “Where are we going?”

Alex moves his hands for a second so he gets a good grip of your arse and he smiles when he says, “Always wanted to do something with you.”

“Okay.” You nod, not having a problem with trying something with him. But as he’s carrying you to wherever he wants you, and as he starts kissing your neck again, you catch sight of something that certainly wasn’t there the last time you were in this flat. “Alex, why do you have that painting?”

Your 3 by 5 foot painting of a cherry blossom tree is hanging on the wall above his lounge area which you always told Alex that he needed some artwork on. Never for a second did you think you would see your painting - that you thought was sold to someone you would never see again at your gallery - proudly sitting up there as a centrepiece.

“I bought it.” Alex tells you between sucking marks onto your neck.  

“I told you not to buy any of my paintings at my show.” You say seriously as you tug on his hair so he’ll look at you again.

And when you see his stunning brown eyes again, he doesn’t hesitate to tell you, “I couldn’t not buy it when I saw it. I love it.”

Whilst that is heartwarming, you can’t help but be annoyed at him. You shake your head, telling him off,  “Alex, it was eleven thousand pounds!”

“Best money I’ve ever spent.” He tells you and before you can argue with him, you feel your back being pressed up against a cool surface, and Alex distracrs you by asking, “Now will you please let me fuck you against the window like I’ve dreamed of doing since you mentionned it when we first walked into this place?”

“Fucking hell,” You’re truly shocked, you can’t believe that he’s remembered that after so long, “You’ve thought about that all this time?”

Your words honestly whirled around his mind each and every time you looked out of the widow whilst you were here. Your best friend remembers trapping you against that window like it was yesterday but in reality it was almost 10 years ago.

“Also, you’re going to judge me for saying this but imagine having sex and this was the backdrop,” You grin a little bit as you lean against the window.

Alex's eyes go wide at that. He didn’t need to picture having sex with you in his new home. He was moving out to get away from that.

“Are you saying you want to be fucked against a window?” Alex jokes, but he’s definitely curious to know the answer.

You smirk a little bit but just raise your eyebrows suggestively, “I’m just saying it would be pretty cool.”

“Never thought you’d be one to risk people seeing you,” Alex tells you.

“Could say the same for you,” You give him a pointed look.

Alex frowns in confusion but you just shake your head at him saying, “Don’t give me that look, everyone’s read that article about you and Alexa getting off at the NME awards and whoever saw you thought you were gunna shag until Alexa threw up in your mouth.”

Alex lets out a little laugh then but he shakes his head, “She didn’t throw up in my mouth. She stopped kissing me and threw up on the floor. And then I had to clean her up.”

“You’re not denying that you’d have sex where someone could see you,” You chuckle and lean cross your arms as you lean back a little more.

Alex steps forward then and stops just in front of you all while you maintain eye contact with him. Jesus, you look gorgeous today.  

“Alright. I would yeah,” Alex admits. “Fuck someone against a window, sure.”

You grin knowing he definitely would, but what you don't expect is for his eyes to stay connected to yours as he says, “You’re right the view would be stunning.”

“You’re not looking out the window,” You point out with your eyebrows raised.

Alex nods, his eyes fixed on yours, “I know.”

“I’ve wanted to do this every time you were in here, Angel.” Alex tells you as he adjusts his hands to grip underneath your thighs again.  

You shake your head, but the grin on your lips clearly lets your best friend know just how amused you are by this. If he wants to fuck you against the window that’s certainly fine by you.

You even go as far to pretend that you’re nonchalant by the idea. You just demand in a waiting tone, “Get on with it then.”

Alex smirks, nodding, “Yes Miss.” before trapping you in another kiss and he continues to fuck you at the same pace as before.

To say it was a dream come true would be the understatement of the century. Alex fucking loved every second of it.

From the way your body would rise and fall against his own from the force of his thrusts, to the sounds that you’d make when he was clearly hitting your G-spot over and over. Knowing from the look on your face as your head falls back against the window and he can see the pleasure written all over your face with each thrust.

You feel heavenly wrapped around him and the way you lose yourself, moaning loudly for him, “Oh fuck, Al.” and after another few sharp thrusts he can feel you getting closer to the edge. It’s just confirmed by the way you tug on his hair even harder than before as you gasp,  “Alex, fuck.”

He’s sweating with pure desire running through his veins as he continues fucking you when he asks, “You gunna cum for me, Angel?”

“Yes.” You helplessly nod, now letting your head fall against his.

You're raggedly breathing and moaning onto the other's face for the last few thrusts. But when your orgasm hits, Alex feels you clench around him and your moans start ringing in his ears, you make him cum too.

Your vice-like grip of his hair doesn’t loosen until you’ve come down from your high. And you only realise how tightly you must have been pulling on his hair when you eventually let it go and open your eyes to see slightly more relief fill your best friend's post orgasm face.

He looks otherworldly. He’s sweaty, giving his skin that glowing shine that you always can’t help but admire when he’s on stage. Some of his hair is even falling in front of his face too and he looks fucking gorgeous. Not to mention the way he’s looking at you like you’re the only thing in the world that could ever make him as happy as he seems to be. It feels like an honour and a privilege to get to see him like this… And it’s only for your eyes to see.

Before you get too lost in your thoughts, Alex traps you in another kiss. This time it’s sweet, loving, and slow. Like there’s no rush at all in the world. It’s another moment you’d happily lose yourself in.

Unfortunately you can’t pause time and keep yourself in this moment forever, so when you pull away you just admire your best friend for a few seconds more. You don’t seem to realise that Alex is doing exactly the same thing though.

“You were right.” He takes you a little by surprise by saying. And when you raise your eyebrows in a little confusion, Alex confirms, looking down at you and then keeping his eyes on yours as he says, “Stunning view.”

You can’t help but laugh as you try to stop your cheeks from heating up. You fail though so you just slowly shake your head at your best friend and say softly, “I adore you, you know?

The smile that lights up Alex’s face after you say that is a moment you’ll remember for the rest of your life. He grins, “I adore you too.”

And after one more kiss, Alex pulls away to say, “Come on Angel, let's go shower.”

~*~*~*~

After cleaning the smudged outline of your body from the window and your handprints from the one in front of your desk, you pick up the stationary from the floor, before going back to get your water and pour Alex one. As you walk back through the lounge to get to the stairs you turn back to admire the wall that is now home to your cherry blossom painting.

You have to admit, it looks great up there. It works really well as a centrepiece and it makes his apartment look finished… More homely. You’ve by no means forgiven him for buying it, but you do like the fact it went to a loving home.

Casting your eyes away from your painting, you head back upstairs with your drinks in hand. You’ve brought your bag up with you as well, with your merch hanging over the top of it so you can wear it when you decide to get dressed later on.

“What took you so long?” Alex pouts as you walk into the room.

You smile at him as you place both of your drinks down on his bedside table. As Alex takes a sip of his, you tell him a little white lie, “Was just admiring your new painting.”

He coyly grins at you then, expecting you to tell him off for buying it now you weren’t otherwise engaged but you surprise him when you don’t. Instead you just take another sip of your drink and after you ask him, “Can I charge my phone please?”

“Yeah,” Alex nods, reaching down beside his bedside table and the bed to grab the wire that had fallen, he pulls it back up and says, “There you go.”

A small ‘thank you’ leaves your lips but then when you unlock your phone and scroll down to see the notifications you’ve missed, you see a shitload from Matty.

“Fucking brilliant.” You sigh before you read them as you drop your bag and top to the floor beside the table.

Alex questions, “What?”

“Curly found out.” You don’t hesitate to tell him as you look back to your phone.  

But Alex takes your attention back by saying, “Wasn’t aware it was a secret.”

“It’s not,” You shake your head, because you’re sick of secrets, you weren’t going to keep it from anyone, you just wanted a day where you could just live in peace with the decision you made, “I just asked Adam not to tell him last night.”

“Why?” Alex asks, as you finally click onto your messages.

“Because endless drunk texts and calls like I’ve received happens.” You tell him and take a proper look at what you received.

3 missed calls from Curly

Curly: Wheels

Curly: Please think about what you’re doing x

Curly: I’m not saying this because I’m jealous or spiteful, I’m just worried about you x

Curly: I don’t want him to mess with your head anymore, I’m just worried after what you said to me at your gallery x

Curly: Just make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons x

Curly: At least let me know you got home alright???? x

Curly: Call me when you can, just want to make sure you’re alright xx

“I’ll call him later.” You sigh, tapping off of his contact.

“You can call him tomorrow.” Alex bargains, and after you glance back into his gorgeous brown eyes, he smiles, “Day with me remember.”

He makes you grin when he says that, and you don’t attempt to hide it as you say, “How could I forget?”

Glancing back at your phone, you see that your other best friend has also sent you a few texts and you have to stop yourself from grinning like a fool in front of Alex so he doesn’t ask about them.

Wifey: Hope you’re getting dicked down by Turner right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m home safe, enjoy yourself bestie xxxxx

And you see another that she’d sent you earlier this morning saying, which makes you smile just as much.

Wifey: Damn, no reply. He must be good x

Wifey: Hope you survived the night! Excited for the dirty details in a bit xoxox

But the best text on your phone this morning is from your soulmate, George Daniel.

Hubby: Slightly offended you didn’t wanna come home with me tbh. Next time Baby xx

You smile and shake your head as you put your phone down and give your attention back to your best friend who’s waiting in bed for you.

“Can we just sleep and chat all day because you really pulled a number on me.” You ask as you straddle him to move across the bed before you lie down beside him.

Alex chuckles a little at that, raising his arm up so you can slot yourself back into his side, “Feeling fragile?”

“This is the most sore I think I’ve ever felt, Al.” You half laugh at your aching body.  

Your best friend smiles at that, feeling the need to ask if you think it was worth it, “You enjoy it though?”

“I don’t have any complaints,” You grin up at him, however, you poke his chest playfully and say, “But I will be complaining every time I move that I’m sore though.”

“I’m sorry.” Alex presses his lips together to stop himself from smiling.

“No, you’re not.” You playfully scoff at him because you knew he was in it to make you feel him when you eventually left. And you’re certain you’ll probably feel him for days.

Smirking, Alex says, “You’re right, I’m not.” before he slides his hand down your side, over your hips before resting it on your arse.

You push his hand away, having none of it, “Hands off my hips and arse.” for no other reason other than you’re littered in bruises. You don’t need any more.  

“Jesus,” Alex laughs, moving his hand further up to your waist as he pulls you into him a little more, “I dread to think what you’d be like if I didn’t take you into the shower.”

You shake your head, “Don’t even want to think about how sore I’d be.”

When you’d eventually made it back upstairs last night after your best friend fucked you against the window, Alex could tell you were tender and felt the need to help you relax a little. And he knew that hot water would ease your muscles a lot, so you showered together.

You also got a lot of kisses on your lips whilst in there. So you prolonged your experience just for those too.

So his aftercare with you had been brilliant. He was affectionate and caring with you the whole time which after a night of rough sex felt really nice.

You feel like it even eased the aches your body was experiencing when you woke up 2 hours afterwards and the both of you had round 3. Round 3 started with Alex waking you up with kisses all over your neck and shoulder blade.

From being pressed against him in your cuddle, you could feel that he was hard again. Truly, you must applaud this man’s reboot and recovery time.

Knowing exactly what your best friend was after, you gave into him and after getting off with him in his bed with hands starting to roam again the both of you moved things along quickly. Yes it wasn’t technically nighttime anymore with more daylight pouring through his window than before, but it was still an ungodly hour of the morning. So you didn’t hesitate to ride your best friend's face and you shamelessly came quickly from that with how sensitive you still were.

Alex savoured every second, his hands groping your arse, making sure you didn’t move until you were cumming on his tongue. And the noises he had you making filled his room and echoed in his ears meaning every last sense Alex had, got him unbelievably turned on.

So much so that after you got off his face, you moved further down his body and sank yourself down onto his hard cock. Making your best friend moan out into his bedroom from just your movements alone was ego fuelling for you after being so submissive towards him earlier.

But in a way, Alex still had control of everything you were doing to him. His grip was tight on your hips, verbally and nonverbally encouraging you to continue. It was confirmed to you just how submissive you were to him during this round when his thumb ended up between your lips.

“So loud for me Angel,” Alex smirks up at you riding him and he reaches up to cup your jaw but his thumb runs over your lips until you part them for him and you know by the way he’s looking at you that he wants to keep you like this.

“I know I’ve got a nice cock but you’d wake the neighbours with how loud you’re being now.” Alex exaggerates a little but it works in his favour. He likes the way you suck on his thumb as it’s clearly an oral fixation that you need to mute just how loud your moans get.

It seemed to make you work harder towards achieving both of your orgasms though. Especially when Alex gives you more praise and encouragement to keep your hips moving at exactly the pace he wanted, so you could both finish at the same time.

You sucked his thumb until seconds before your orgasm hit you which was caused by Alex pressing the same thumb that was just in your mouth to your clit and it threw you over the edge. And as you came you all but collapsed onto your best friend, moaning loudly right into his ear which made him cum too.

It was truly so fucking amazing. And after cleaning yourselves up again, the both of you fell right back to sleep in each other's arms. And you stayed like that until you woke up earlier and tried to sneak out on him. But now, you’re glad you stayed and you’re thankful that it hasn’t been awkward in the slightest.

It feels normal. It feels right. And you feel comfortable so there was no need to try to escape in the first place.

Alex brings you back out of your thoughts by offering you a possible remedy for your aching body. “You can have another shower if that will make you feel any better?”

“No, I’ll be fine.” You promise, “Just doing nothing will help.” and you snuggle into him

~*~*~*~

After lying down and chilling in bed for a little bit longer, both of you decided to come downstairs and have a late breakfast. You’re sitting on the settee - where hours ago you were in a very different position - and Alex is on the other. Not because you wanted to be apart, purely because you’d just stretched your legs out when you sat down to eat.

The TV is on in the background and you’ve both got a bowl of cereal each and you’re happily chatting about anything and everything. You’ve just told him about an event you’ve been invited to which is essentially a networking event for different artists and a way to appreciate each other's work whilst also expanding your social network.

“Where’s that then?” Alex asks you curiously, both your eyes not really leaving the TV.

You have a spoonful of Frosties after telling him, “It’s at Somerset House.”

“Damn, that’s posh for a girl from Sheffield.” Alex jokes and you laugh and raise your eyebrows silently saying a joking ‘I know.’

You’re bound to feel some imposter syndrome, but you know that your work speaks for itself and you’re always up for appreciating other people's creations. You know you’ll have a good night regardless.

“Do you have to dress all fancy?” Alex asks as the both of you keep your eyes on the screen whilst you eat.

Despite you not really knowing if he even looks your way or not, you nod as you say, “Yeah, very formal one.”

“What are you going to wear to that then?” Your best friend asks you curiously.

But Alex thinks that even if he had all the time in the world to prepare for your answer, what you give him still would have knocked all the air from his chest.

“It gives me an excuse to finally get around to wearing that dress I was gonna wear on our date,” You say nonchalantly, “Forgot how good I felt in it.”

Thinking back to you and Y/B/F deciding what would be suitable or not to wear to the networking event made you smile. Especially her reminding you of how good you felt in the red dress that was just collecting dust in your wardrobe. It’ll definitely be nice to finally get some use out of it now you feel like you can. You need to remember to take it back down to London with you.

Both of you settle into what you assume to be a comfortable silence after that, nothing else particularly sparking any conversation as you eat. But clearly, it’s just you that's forgiven and forgotten because when you glance back at Alex a few seconds later, you can see that tears have flooded his eyes and they are just about to fall down his face.

“Woah, what’s wrong?” You ask shocked, completely discarding your cereal and going over to him.

You sit close beside him taking his bowl out of his hand and putting it on the coffee table. For a second he won’t look at you but you force him to, wanting him to start talking.

With your hand resting on his cheek, gently moving his head so he will look at you when he looks up again. Your heart hurts seeing him upset, especially when he tells you, “You know, I still have so much hate for myself for that day? As I rightly should.”

“I should have come and picked you up.” Alex’s voice chokes up when he looks at you with watery eyes as if pleading with reality itself. As if he could just rewrite the past by merely speaking it into existence. “I should have taken you out to that restaurant that I booked for us. And I should have kissed you before dropping you back off home. And maybe been cheeky enough to ask if I could come inside.”

Your best friend wipes away his own tears that fall from his brown eyes, and you feel like he’s practically looking into your soul when he says, “I’m honestly so so sorry. I just want you to know that I never meant a word I said that night.”

Before you even have a chance to respond, your best friend continues, “I just really don’t want you to think that I think that of you because I swear, I don’t. I truly don’t.” He takes a shaky breath then as tears continue to spill down his face.

“Alex, Darling.” You coax him to open his eyes and look at you then, still gently stroking his cheek. After shuffling a little closer to him, he does look at you and you finally get a chance to softly ask him, “Do you think I would have even entertained the thought of last night if I believed that you meant that in any way?”

You’re still cupping his face as you ask him this and your thumb wipes away the stray tears that keep falling. A little helplessly, Alex answers, sounding like he’s lost, “I don’t know.”

Raising your eyebrows but smiling at him, he seems to get some clarity back. Alex clears his throat before shaking his head, “No, you wouldn’t have.”

The realisation that you have forgiven him fully though makes Alex’s eyes well up again and your heart aches for him. Without hesitating, you move so you’re straddling him so you can hug him close to you.

“Aw Al, come here.” You throw your arms around his neck and you’re thankful when you feel his arms go around your back. You swear, “I promise you, it’s okay. It’s long forgotten in my mind.”

Your best friend hugs you like you’re about to disappear. And it’s a hug that he clearly really needs so you don't rush him. Sitting there for about a minute in his arms until he’s calmed down a little bit, you only let go of each other and you sit back on his lap when Alex croaks out, “I just can’t forget you saying that our first time was a mistake... That still hurts because I don’t regret sleeping with you at all.”

Bless his heart. You’re shocked that from all the things you said to each other that day, that’s the thing that stuck with him the most.  

“Al, I don’t regret it.” You shake your head, promising him, “It wasn’t a mistake. I just said it because I was upset.”

His brown eyes go wide then. Like he doesn’t believe you as he asks, “Really?”

“Yeah,” You nod, letting your thumb run over his cheek again to gently comfort him as you smile, “Still one of the best decisions we ever made.”

“Really?” The disbelief that you mean that ringing clear in his voice.

“Yeah, of course.” You nod with a bright smile. You even go as far as to say, “I don’t think we’d be here right now if we didn’t do that back then and-”

Alex’s thumb gently comes up to your bottom lip then, stopping you from continuing. But he just gently shakes his head and explains, “I don’t want to think of a reality where you aren’t in my life, Angel.”

That causes your heart to ache for him then because you don’t want to think of a world in which he’s not a part of your life either. You assure him, “I’m here for good.” And laugh a little as you add, “Until you tell me to fuck off anyways.”

Alex shakes his head. A silent way of telling you that’s never going to happen.

You smile and go back to the previous subject, “Besides, I don’t think we would have been such close friends if it didn’t happen back then. Do remember that secret bound us for twelve years.”

Softly, Alex sighs as he starts playing with the rings on your fingers, “I still wish it was our secret.”

“I don’t.” You tell him, causing him to look back up into your eyes as you smile, “We’re here now because it’s not.”

After smiling at each other for a minute, Alex goes back to twisting your rings round on your fingers. The only thing that breaks your comfortable silence is your best friend apologising again, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” You promise him.

“It’s not.” He shakes his head, “I’m just so sorry I called you that.”

Again, you’re about to tell him that you’ve forgiven him but Alex continues before you can, saying something that surprises you a little, “And I shouldn’t have called Peter a slag in Fluorescent Adolescent either.”

“You’re right, you shouldn’t have. But he did turn out to be one and he was a prick.” You shrug, not exactly minding the Peter slander but you get where he’s coming from. “So we live and we learn.”

“I know.” Alex nods, sighing a little before he explains, “It was me being arsey because I was worried about you and I didn't know it at the time but I was clearly just a jealous twenty year old.”

You immediately cringe hearing how long ago that was, “Oh my god, we are old. Don’t say ages.”

“We’re not old.” Alex smiles, “I’m thirty-three and you will be too in a few months.”

“Exactly.” The thought disgusts you. You still feel like you’re 22 so you reiterate that you’re both, “Old fuckers.”

Alex chuckles at that but what he says next makes you pause. Your best friend says with absolutely no hesitation, “We may be old fuckers but as long as we still fuck good, then I see no issue.”

And you absolutely lose it. You start laughing loudly when he says that and you’re wheezing when you tell him, “That’s going in my poetry book.”

Your laughs are contagious because he’s started chuckling at your reaction. He’s also adamant when he says, “I want the credit.”

You nod, still laughing and you try to calm down but you end up wheezing, “I can’t believe you just said that.”

Only when your laughter dies down does Alex say, “True though, isn’t it?”

Your giggles linger as you lean in a little closer to ask, “I don’t know, do I still fuck good?”

“You’re the most perfect little sub I could have asked for.” Alex grins up at you.

You roll your eyes at that playfully but you explain to him, “I’m not always a sub like that Alex but when you push my skirt up, spank me, and make me fuck your fingers as soon as we’re in the room it sets the mood.”

“I thought you were a little too perfect if you were just a sub.” Alex smiles as his hands run soothingly up your thighs.

“Well, yeah, you know?” You shrug, not really knowing what to say without getting all embarrassed.  

“You’re not going to dom me today then?” Alex cheekily asks, already knowing the answer he’s going to get but if he doesn’t ask he definitely won't get.

Shaking your head, you chuckle, “I don’t think I’ll be touching anyone for a while, thank you.”

The smile that finds its way to Alex’s lips then could light up a room. He looks so gorgeous with such a bright grin on his face. It makes your heart flutter.

“There’s that smile” You grin, absolutely adoring the fact a smile is back on his gorgeous face. You lean forwards the slightest bit but instruct him, “Come here and kiss me.”

“Actually, I take it back.” Alex says as his hand comes up to cup your cheek.

You narrow your eyes at him, furrowing your eyebrows a little when you ask, “What?”

“I like it when you ask if you can kiss me.” Alex grins and you have to force yourself not to smile.

You shake your head, pretending to be annoyed as you try not to laugh, “Get fucked Alex.”

“I’m trying.” He smiles before pulling you down into the kiss.  

Kissing him really is like a breath of fresh air and it's no surprise when both of you get lost in the gesture entirely. Initially, it’s sweet and innocent, just cute kisses that you share that say that the both of you are okay after a relatively heavy chat. But of course the both of you don’t show any restraint.

When Alex deepens the kiss, the mood changes and the air becomes charged. And when his lips start tracing your jaw to eventually find your neck you find yourself wanting to start grinding on him.

You don’t let yourself and you aim to stop your best friend from getting carried away too.

“Right, stop.” You route your fingers in his hair giving it a halfhearted tug so he stops abusing your neck, “We’re not teenagers, I don’t need my neck marking up more than it already is.” You tell him because your whole body is fucking littered in bruises his mouth had left on you.

“Sorry,” Alex says sarcastically into your neck, not stopping at all. But he does ask, “Shall I just go back to your thighs?”

“You’re so fucking annoying.” You groan, only being half serious.

Alex laughs when he argues, “You love it.” and he feels no resistance at all when he starts kissing your neck again.

You really do, and he knows this so he doesn't believe you when you say, “You wish.”

And he certainly doesn’t believe it when you start grinding down on him or when you moan a little at him doing it. Alex certainly doesn’t believe that you don’t want to shag him again when you start practically dry humping him and whimpering and whining for him when he helps you by grabbing your hips and pulling you into him more.

After a while, you’re both left breathless and you’ve clearly reached the end of your tether because when you pull away from another intense kiss, your eyes are filled with pure lust as you tell him to, “Take your top off.”

Alex smirks, doing exactly what you’re asking of him but he also cheekily asks, “Thought you said you weren’t going to dom me today?”

“Alexander,” You warn him, “Shut up unless you want me to stop.”

He just laughs, “Sorry Miss Y/L/N.”

After getting off with him for a few more minutes, you get to the point where you need more clothes to be removed. You don't even say anything as you get yourself up off him, your hands just find the waistband of the joggers he’s wearing got yourself up off him, stripping them off him along with his boxers exposing his hard cock.

You take the boxers you stole from him this morning off yourself before straddling your best friend and lining him up with you so you can sink down on him immediately. Both of you then proceed to make each other feel amazing one last time. It isn’t rough like it was last night, it’s slow and drawn out.

Both knowing that you won’t give in to the temptation again, you made the most of it. Alex pulls his hoodie off you seconds after you feel the pleasurable stretch of him being inside you again and after it’s off and you start riding him, the moans that fall from your lips has Alex in total awe of you.

You’re a feast for his eyes and ears. If this is going to be the last time he wants to memorise every second just as much as he wants to feel you.

If asked, Alex would most likely say this is the most drawn out sex he’d ever had. Neither of you are chasing orgasms like you were doing last night, you’re both just letting it slowly build.

And after endless kisses, praises, encouragements, your orgasms build and build until you both can’t stop them from consuming you. When the sensation inevitably hits you both, it’s unlike anything Alex had experienced before. It’s really intense and the slow build of it made the release even better.

You fall forward into Alex's chest, all hot and sweaty, when you eventually stop trying to ride out your high. You feel euphoric and you just need a minute to bask in it.

As you hide yourself away into his shoulder, Alex catches his breath too, and you focus on the feeling of his hand running up and down the middle of your back. Then you feel him placing a kiss on your shoulder, and a few up to your neck, which you would bet money on would have a bruise tomorrow.

“Yeah,” Alex then whispers in your ear, “You’re definitely an Angel.”

This makes you giggle into his neck and once you regain the ability to move, you kiss your best friend a few times before you escape to the bathroom to clean yourself up.

~*~*~*~

“I just want someone who I can spend all day in bed with on a Sunday listening to music. I don’t think that’s too much to ask for.” You sigh as you settle back into bed beside your best friend. “That’s the dream.”

Alex smiles, “Well I can pretend it’s Sunday.”

You giggle and you press your lips to his playfully. The both of you have ended up kissing a lot these past few hours. You’re unapologetically getting them every chance you can.

Today, you would guess you’ve had more kisses than you did the day after with Matty, but Matty knows you like the back of his hand. He knows when you need affection and it was always after sex. Especially after rough sex.

But you and Alex haven’t done this before. Not like this anyway. So it just leaves you both a bit dazed and you get the kisses you crave. If anything you’ve stocked up on them.

Once you part, and you’re just lying down facing each other, you smile as you think out loud, “You know, I think it’s your fault I need kisses after nights like that.”

Alex smiles, not arguing with your logic, but he does question, “Why’s it my fault?”

“Because that’s how you made sure I was okay the first time.” You surprise Alex at the details you remember from all those years ago. Even more so that you noticed, “You did it last night too... The first time anyway.”

Alex just smiles, not wanting to confirm or deny anything. He just playfully teases, “I knew you were being needy because you wanted me to kiss you.”

You scoff in betrayal, “Why didn’t you kiss me then?”

“It wound you up, didn’t it?” Alex smirks, and that’s all you need to know that he didn’t kiss you on purpose. You frown at him, pretending to be annoyed, but it works in your favour because Alex just cuddles up to you and kisses you once before reminding you, “Typically Y/N/N, there’s not a lot of kissing in angry sex.”

“It wasn’t proper angry sex though.” You counter argue, “Like it was great, don’t get me wrong. But like it wasn’t a hate fuck, it was a ten-years-worth-of-sexual-tension fuck.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Alex shrugs, giving in and pressing his lips to yours again.

You grin, “I usually am.”

“Damn, my Angel’s getting cocky.”

You grin but you decide to playfully bring up a few things from last night that you don’t want repeating after today, “Don’t be getting possessive again today. You had your fun with that last night.”

When he kept asking you things like 'who's are you?’ and ‘who’s making you feel good?’ you were giving him the answers he wanted to hear at that moment. Answers that were going to give you your orgasm or not, so you chose the easy path for answering them.

“Yeah that was nice for me.” Alex sighs, feeling very relaxed as he replays that audio in his mind.  

“Don’t let it get to your head.” You interrupt his thoughts, “I’m my own. Yeah, you were making me feel good in the moment but you don't own me.”

Alex just smiles at you instead and jokes, “Stepping on my ego Angel.”

“Well,” You shrug, “Someone has too.”

“I know, I know.” Alex grins, pulling you into his body more, loving the feeling of you being back beside him. “Surprised you didn’t do the same back to me before to be honest.”

You were definitely in control of every movement before. Their were praises and encouragements from both of you but Alex was truly surprised you didn’t decide to level the playing field.

You say confidently and proudly, “Didn’t have to ask to know that all you could think about was me.”

Both of you share a grin and you kiss him softly a few times again before you say, “Thank you by the way.”

Alex frowns a little not knowing, “What for?”

“For taking care of me when I lost myself.” You explain. “It’s good to know I can lose myself and I’ve got someone who will look after me.”

Alex knows you’re talking back when he pulled out last night and you got a little upset about it. He doesn’t want you to feel embarrassed about it at all so he just assures you, “You don’t need to thank me, Angel. I guess I’m sorry for making you cry.”

“It’s okay.” You chuckle, keeping the topic lighthearted, “You were right. It was worth the pay off in the end, but fucking hell, I’m never doing that again.”

Alex can’t stop himself from asking, “What? Fucking me again or edging?”

“The edging.” You say without a second thought which actually surprises your best friend. Thinking back to it, you sign, “That was definitely enough for me.”

Alex’s hand runs down your side again, teasingly over your hip and when he grabs your arse to pull you into him again, Alex jokes, “I just won’t push you as much next time.”

“Stop it.” You laugh, once again pushing his fake advances away.

After this, both of you settle down and Alex flicks on the TV in his room. The music channel goes on first when you’re still chatting to each other but because the genre doesn’t suit either of you, the both of you settle for watching a film.

You try your hardest to stay awake for it but with each passing second it becomes harder and harder. You have your head buried into Alex’s neck as you’re pressed into his body. To try and keep yourself awake by playing with his hair with your hand that was just previously resting on his chest.

Ultimately, you fail to stay awake though and when you wake up you can tell by the audio from the film that you’ve missed a lot of it. Your hand that is just now resting on the nape of his neck moves back up so your fingers can tangle into the roots of his hair and you keep on moving your fingers through it.

You place a few kisses on your best friend's neck, mostly just to tell him that you’re awake again as you don’t know how long you dozed off for. You can feel his arm around your back trailing his fingertips up and down your side gently for a few minutes, which is fine but you don’t know how it isn’t tickling you.

However, his hand goes down to rest on your arse and you go tense. You say, “Please don’t.”  

Your best friend says quietly as if it wasn’t just you and him in the room, “But you were just teasing me.”

“I was letting you know I was awake again.” You tell him.

“I didn’t know you fell asleep.”

You ask, “Can you remove your hand then?”

“No,” You can practically hear Alex smirk before he rubs over your arse like he did last night after he spanked you.

You warn him, “Al,-”

But you’re interrupted by him slapping your arse which makes you release a little yelp as your whole body tenses after you jumped. It also meant that your hand that was in his hair ended up becoming a fist to you pulled on his hair.

You take a deep breath into his neck before relaxing again as you feel him rub over the tender area.

You tilt your head up to look at him and threaten, “Do that again and I will go and get the  clippers and cut your fucking hair off.”

But your best friend just smirks, “And you have my full consent to do that.” before he slaps your arse even harder this time.  

Unsurprisingly, you jump like last time, pulling on his hair again as your head buries itself into his neck to try and deal with the sensation, but a pleasured whine also leaves your lips. His hand just starts gently rubbing your arse again to soothe the pain for you.

“Get up.” You tell him once the pain has dissipated, and you pull on the vest top he’s wearing, “Say goodbye to your hair.”

And you fully did go and get the clippers to cut his hair with. You pulled him down the stairs with you, sitting him in the stool at the large island in his kitchen and started to split his hair into 4 sections. So you could cut the majority of it off before you cut it all short.

You did ask, “Are you sure you’re gunna let me do this?”  

“Yeah,” Alex nods, clearly wanting this to happen and he likes seeing you when you’re on a mission anyway. He gives you the all clear when he says, “It’s time for another change.”

“Okay then, keep still.” You smile, absolutely loving the fact it’s you who gets to do this.  

You cut above the first bobble and gasp when the plait you just made sits in your hand leaving Alex with a patch of uneven short hair.

You’re grinning like a fool when you lie it down in front of him on the island and you reach for the next plait as you say, “Okay so I’m guessing that you felt some sort of power over me last night but let me tell you now, this is the ultimate power play. I’m loving this.”

Alex can’t help but laugh at that as he picks up the free plait, surprised by how long his hair actually was, “Glad you’re enjoying yourself.”

“I truly am.” You grin before you start cutting the next one with your scissors. “This is so fun.”

As you continue, you notice that you’re not the only one that had been left with marks on their skin from last night's activities. You hadn’t noticed before now that you must have been really scratching Alex’s back because there are red lines peaking through the top of the vest he wears. It does make you wonder how far they go down but you’re not going to ask him to take his top off.

And after 5 minutes, there are 4 plaits sitting in front of Alex and after another 5 you have done a number 2 buzz cut all over his head and you actually can’t believe it’s your best friend sitting in front of you anymore.

“Oh my god,” You run your hand over his now evenly cut hair, you gasp, “My Alex is goneee.”

Alex chuckles looking at the slight panic in your eyes, but he eases your worries, “It’ll grow back.”

“Oh my god, you know what you should have done?” Alex raises his eyebrows at you to continue, so you do, “We should have done this before Halloween so you could have gone as two face.”

You see your best friend's eyes light up at the thought of that. He even says, “Damn, that’s such a sick idea.”

“You’ll have to go as Kingpin instead now.” You chuckle, unable to stop yourself from running your hand over his now bald head. “Or Lex Luther.”

Alex grins up at you, “You’re full of good ideas today.” before he pulls you into a quick kiss.  

You grin into it and when you pull away, you look up at his hair again and say, “I kinda want my hair cut now.”

Alex raises his eyebrows at you causing you to look into his eyes again but you just correct yourself, “Not as short as yours but maybe up to my shoulder.”

Your hair is long and it has been for years. You’ve not really had it short since you were a teenager because you kept it shorter back then but now you think about it, you sort of fancy the change again.

“If you trust me enough? I could do it for you?” Alex offers and you absolutely jump at the chance.

“Yeah, please.” You grin, now being really excited for it.

Alex makes you take a seat where he was previously sitting as he grabs the brush and cleans up his hair that had fallen to the floor.

“This is the sort of thing Matty would go on a live for.” You grin, going back to your conversation when you were cutting his hair about how you’ve never done an Instagram live before.

Alex tells you, “Do it whilst I cut your hair?”

“Are you sure?” You ask him seriously, knowing how he likes to keep private so it makes you a little concerned.

But he surprises you by saying, “Yeah, I really don’t mind. It gives you some practice anyway for if you wanna do one whilst you're drawing or painting.”

“Okay,” You smile, “I’ll just go grab my phone and get dressed properly.”

When you run back down stairs a few minutes later, you’re wearing black joggers like the ones Alex is currently wearing and you put your 1975 merch on. And as you take a seat on the stool at the island, you ask your best friend, “Right, I’m going live. Are you sure you’re alright with that?”

“Yeah, go for it,” Alex nods, “It’s your hair.”

“It’s gunna be you in the video.” You remind him, “It’s your privacy.”

Alex comes over, presses a kiss to your lips and pulls away to tell you, “Just do it.”

“Fine.” You do as you’re told after that and you start the Instagram live.

You’re unsure whether it’s working or not as it shows you your front facing camera but no comments or any of the love hearts coming up or not. But then you see one.

“Oh my god, Al, we have a person watching,” You get all excited when you see 1 in the top right hand corner, but then you see it immediately snap up to over 500 and then 900 and you say, “Oh, loads joined.”

“Hey everyone.” You smile into the camera and give them a little wave. Alex hovers in the background behind you and when you prop your phone up and sit back, he comes into the frame a little more. His bald head still shocking you a little bit.

“Okay,” You say to your phone, “So I don’t do these and neither does he, so bare with us. I’ve just cut his hair off and it was so satisfying that I want mine cut off too.”

“Not bald though.” You say to Alex who comes and stands closer to you, and you gesture to your phone, “Just for confirmation and I’ve got witnesses now so you definitely can’t.”

“Right, so am I just cutting it off or have you got a plan?” Alex asks with a smile, and he comes and runs his fingers through the ends of your hair before twirling it around a little bit.

“Right so, I want a blunt cut shoulder length bob I think, so I’m thinking section it. Then cut the length off before tidying it up.” You tell him.  

“Jesus, right okay…” Alex looks a little baffled and he doesn’t really know how he’s going to do it. Not knowing where to start, he asks, “How’d we do that?”

“I need bobbles. Please tell me you have more.”

Alex nods, “Yeah, just a sec.” and he proceeds to run upstairs to supposedly grab a packet.  

You then take a look at the comments coming through about Alex’s hair and they make you laugh. Everyone is obviously shocked by it and you can’t help but laugh at their comments that are practically all in caps.

“I know,” You chuckle, “He looks about ten years older with his hair gone.”

As you’re reading through a few more though, you see a familiar account pop up.

1975adam: Hey B x

You smile brightly and there’s excitement in your voice as you say, “Oh hey Ads!”

You love that your cousin has joined the stream. But as you keep an eye on the comments, you get offended when you see what he says.

1975adam: Don’t cut your hair!

You laugh at that but shake your head, “I’m sorry but it’s going. I need a change and it’s so satisfying to cut off. It’ll look good.”

“Right, I have them.” Alex tells you as he runs down the stairs and comes back over to you.  

You thank him as you take the bobbles from him, but you tell him to, “Say hey to Adam.”

“What is he connected to you on it?” Alex asks you before looking at your phone anyway and smiling, “Y’alight Adam.”

“No, you dinosaur.” You shake your head, “He said hey in the comments and then told me not to cut my hair.”

Alex clearly doesn’t care about what Adam had to say after you insulted him though, because he just looks at you offended and says, “I’m literally five months older than you, why are you calling me a dinosaur?”

“Because you now look about forty five.” You joke in a serious tone and the way his face falls almost makes you crack.

Alex frowns at you then, a hurt tone to his voice as he says, “You said I looked alright.”

“I’d give you a solid four stars out of five” You say semi seriously but then you start giggling.

Alex just stands there with his eyebrows raised looking disappointed. That may be the worst joke he’s ever heard you tell.  

“What? That’s unheard of, Al.” You carry on with a massive smile on your face.  

Alex looks ashamed to call you his friend as he shake his head, “That was the worst series of jokes I’ve ever heard”

“Yet you're grinning like you’ve just bought me another ghost cookie.” You counter argue with a grin.

“Right, come on. Let’s do my hair.” You say before you get any more back chat.  

You section your hair before you start putting bobbles where you want them and Alex matches it up the same length at the back. Then you put another bobble about half an inch below that one and then you and Alex plait the ends so you can donate your hair, like Alex said he was going to do with his.

Alex cuts the back sections first which scares you because he keeps pretending that he’s doing it wrong but you’re quite thankful when the plaits come out okay and he tells you it looks good. When he comes around to your front to do it you carefully watch his actions best you can without moving your head.

You’re not too fussed if it goes wrong. You’ll probably go to the hairdressers at some point to get it all cut and styled properly anyway.

“Please don’t fuck the front up.” You tell your best friend as he crouches in front of you to cut the two sections at the front.

Alex looks up at you and warns, “If you stop distracting me it may come out half decent.”

“Sorry Darling,” You’ve found the perfect opportunity to take the piss a little bit. You run your hand over his new hair cut again, “Can’t stop looking at your bald head.”

“Right,” Alex gives you a stern look as he reminds you, “You're the one that cut it all off. Stop taking the piss out of it.”

“I’m just saying what they are thinking.” You grin at him as you gesture to your phone.

Alex warns you, “Carry on with the insults and you’ll just get the clippers on your head too.”

“So nasty to me.” You leave his head alone and you let him get back to it with a grin on your lips.

He pokes you in your side causing you to jump so you punched his arm

“Cut my hair,” You whine knowing that punch did absolutely nothing other than make him laugh. You sigh as you say, “I miss the days when that punch would have hurt you.”

“It’s called a gym Angel,” Alex jokes with a smirk, “Use one.”

You scoff at him saying that, “You’re such a bastard, I have a personal trainer I go to every week.”

“Do you now?” Alex asks, his interest peaking as he starts cutting your hair again. “Since when?”

“Since suddenly you and Miles, Matty, Ross, and Adam have all proper toned up.” You tell him and then add, “And I get bored in London.”

Alex chuckles at that but asks, “What about George?”

You look at your best friend like he’s grown another head. You tell him, “George has always been fit.”

Alex laughs at that and nods to your phone, “You just told all them that you fancy your ex’s best mate. Amazing.”

“It’s not like Matty doesn’t know. Used to always joke about it. I still joke about it.” You laugh looking at your phone then. You smile brightly when you say, “Love you George, if you’re watching.”

You get all smiley after that, and start thinking back and reminiscing about your Manchester group of friends. But that gentle giant in particular.

“You know, when I first met George he was the cutest little thing.” You start getting nostalgic, telling your best friend, “He was thirteen and so tiny. He literally came up to there on me.”

Raising your hand to the top of your boobs to estimate George’s height to Alex and he laughs, asking a quiet, “Really?”

You nod, “He was so cute I just wanted to pinch his cheeks and cuddle him. And then one year I went back up for Mattys 18th and he’d grown up and I was so sad.”

Alex nods laughing at your pouting, “Now he’s just all muscle and you fancy him apparently.”

“Yeah.” You nod, sighing thinking about what life could have been like if you held out and waited for George Daniel.  

“Did you see the picture that Adam posted of him?” Alex brings you out of your thoughts, “He’s ripped.”

“The one where he’s in the doorway and Matty’s sat down?” You double check despite knowing exactly what picture he’s talking about.

You definitely screenshotted it the second it was posted.

“Yeah.” Alex nods.  

“Yeah,” You tease Alex and tell him seriously, “It’s my laptop screen.”

The shocked look your best friend gives you then makes you giggle and shake your head.

“George,” You turn to your phone and laugh, “I’m joking, I swear.”

After Alex tells you he doesn’t believe you when he cuts another plait off, you tell him, “My laptop screen is actually of us all.”

“Where?” Your best friend wonders. Not being able to remember a time where you were all together and got a group picture.

“When we were all at Leeds Fest.” You remind him, “The one Charlie took of us all after your set.”  

Alex remembers what happens after that was taken and whilst it still leaves a sour taste in his mouth, he does actually like that image. He remembers your reaction to Charlie sending it though a week later, it was really heart warming seeing your smile, just like your smile when Alex tells you, “I really like that photo.”

“So do I.” You grin.

After that, Alex cuts that last plait off and you take the bobbles out of your hair. Before you start getting excited though, your best friend makes you stay sat down so he can cut between the sections and make sure all your hair is nice and level.

You also tell him to angle the scissors upwards and cut into your hair a little bit to thin it out. And that seems to go okay so after 10 minutes, you’re absolutely buzzing with the result.  

“Oh my god, I love it.” You say as you look into your phone so you can see what the cut looks like because there’s no mirror directly around. You’re a little stunned and the people watching can tell when you say, “You actually did well. What the fuck?!”

“Just call me a hairdresser now.” Alex grins, looking at how happy you are.  

“I’ll give you a good review,” You grin, and you can’t stop running your fingers through your now short hair, “Oh my god, I fucking love it.”

After looking at yourself for a moment, you turn to your best friend and ask, “Can you remember when my hair was last this short?”

“Probably when we were seventeen.” Alex smiles at you with a mischievous spark in his eyes.

You give him a knowing look with a hint of a smile and he grins back at you. Trying not to blush thinking back to when you lost your virginity to your best friend, you look back to your phone.

It seems to be a perfect time because a few seconds later, you see another familiar name pop up.

matthelders: Looks nice Cupcake x

“Awh,” You repeat it for Alex, “Matt said I look nice. Thank you Helders, love you.”

You can’t help but think that’s nice of him even though you’re not in the best of places with him at the moment. Of course, you’ll never stop being friends with him but you don’t regret your actions to the situation at all.  

“Adam,” You say to the phone, hoping your cousin is still watching, “I told you it would look good.”

A comment comes through then which really makes you really smile.

trumanblack: Stunning Sweetheart xx

“Thanks Matty.” You grin even more.

After this, you ask the people who are watching to give you and Alex a few questions so you don’t have to go off immediately. And Alex seems happy enough to do this, even telling them to ask whatever comes to mind.

There’s certainly a few unhinged ones that you don’t read out but they do make you smile at how fucking random and thirsty some of them are. They make Alex silently chuckle too as he can see your phone.

He’s standing behind you now and you’re leaning back against him. His hands are messing with the ends of your hair and he keeps glancing down at your phone to see what people are saying. 

“Ooo,” A question peaks your interest then, “Someone just asked what yours and mine favourite song is from Tranquillity Base?”

“Difficult question.” Alex says after a second.  

You nod, “It really is.” and you think about it for a minute.  

Your best friend gets in their first though, saying, “I think I have one.”

“Okay, go on.” You gesture for him to continue.

You shouldn’t even be surprised when he says, “Golden Trunks.”

“Of course it fucking is.” You laugh, rolling your eyes.

“What?” Alex fakes innocence, glancing down at you.

“You know exactly what.” You raise your eyebrows, turning to give him a knowing look.

As soon as you heard that song you knew it was about you. The dead give away being the lyric, ‘sometimes I fantasise about you too’.

If that isn’t a clear reference to the time you nearly had phone sex with him, you don’t know what is. You admitted to him that night that you still thought about your first time. At least now you’ll have something else to think about too.

“What’s your favourite?” Alex asks you.  

“I’d say Star Treatment but you reference that shit film, so I’d say-” You start but get interrupted.

Alex playfully slaps your forehead in response to you saying that, “How dare you!”

Starting to laugh, you tell him, “Sorry but it’s true.”

“Blade Runner is a classic.” Alex tells you sternly, “I will tolerate no slander.”

You just roll your eyes and say, “It’s boring Alex.” and you brace for another slap but it never comes.

“Have you even seen it?” Is all your best friend asks you,

“I watched half of it with Matty years ago and then we stopped watching.” You tell him truthfully.

Alex has never been more offended, “You didn’t make it till the end? You turned Blade Runner off?”

Your cheeks go a little hot as you try to tell him, without actually telling him, “Didn’t turn it off per say, but we weren’t paying attention to it…”

You’ve never seen him more disappointed. “I hate you.” Alex tells you, not believing his best friend Netflix and Chilled to one of the best films of all time because you got bored.

“Sure you do, Darling.” You shake your head, knowing he’s all talk. “So, I’d say my favourite is One Point Perspective because you’re funny when you pretend to lose your train of thought.”

Alex just shakes his head at you, still not forgiving you for the slander on one of his favourites. But you just look back at your phone to look for more questions.  

He clearly doesn’t hate you because he’s back to playing with your hair and making you lean back against him. You both answer a few more, but you fucking lose it when you see another comment from Matt.

matthelders: nah i actually can’t look at alex. he just looks like professor x

“Oh my god!” You burst out laughing, “Helders just said that you look like Professor X!”

Alex scoffs, “Tell Helders to fuck off.” before he flips off the camera.

“I think he’s heard you.” You wheeze, still almost crying from laughter. But then a thought comes to mind and you have to ask, “Wait Matt, McAvoy or Stewart?”

Alex shakes his head and walks away from you then, saying loud enough for those to hear through your phone, “If he says Stewart I’ll-”

You start belly laughing when you see Matt confirming he meant Stewart. To the point where you’re crying, you’re finding it that funny.

“Are you actually crying right now?” Alex asks as he comes back over to flip the camera off again, knowing without having to say anything that you’re laughing because his mate essentially called him an old man.  

When you get a grip of yourself again, you ask Alex, “Who do I look like?”

“If you dyed your hair, you’d look like Scarlett Johanson in Winter Soldier.” Alex tells you which shocks you a little bit.

“Oh my god, are you being serious?” You ask, rather flattered.

Alex nods, “Yeah.”

You’re a bit jaw dropped at that, “She’s fit.”

“I know.” Alex chuckles.

“Wait, I’ve just been laughing at you for about five minutes and you’ve just given me a compliment.” You notice, things not adding up.  

“I know, I’m too nice to you.” Alex smiles, but then teases you by saying, “I also thought that Edna from The Incredibles would have been a bit too much.”

“Alex!” You cackle, not expecting that to fall from his mouth.

The grin your best friend gives you then is heartwarming. Even though he’s just insulted you, his laugh is contagious and his smile makes you feel giddy.

You take the insult on board though, “That’s not even an insult though because she’s the smartest one out of them all.”

“Same sort of goes for real life, doesn’t it?” Alex grins, trapping you in a hug, “You’re the creative one.”

“You literally create music for a living.” You shake your head, slightly confused by his logic.  

“I mean visually creative. Out of all of us, them included,” Alex smiles and gestures to your 1975 top that has all of your boys on it, he says, “You’re definitely the smartest of us.”

You nod, “That’s because you’re all men.”

“Why do you have so many guy friends?” Alex questions, having never really thought about it too much.

“Well, we all lost half of our mates after college and no one stuck around after uni so all my close friends are you guys.” You shrug and then you add with a little laugh, “Thought it would be less drama but look how that turned out.”

“Yeah.” Alex smiles, knowing that you’re talking about the love triangle drama. He chuckles, “Didn’t plan that out well.”

Both of you settle in your positions again, with you leaning back against him as you read through the comments coming through on your phone. Alex brings his hand up into your hair and ruffles it out a bit after a little head massage. You smile at what your hair looks like as he didn’t it a few times as you both read the comments coming in.

You smile at the feeling and with the way it looks once he did it. You lent back into him a little more as you watch comments fly in about who you both looked like. Both of you laughing every now and again at who you’re compared to.

“I’m just getting absolutely slated here.” You laugh, “They all just wanna see your bald head.”

You’ve got the camera tilted down to you a little more so it’s cutting off Alex’s face. You just want to respect his privacy a little more so you just try and keep the camera on you.

Alex shakes his head, telling you and everyone else, “They will get enough pictures of me on tour.”

“The new merch come through yet?” You look up at him curiously.

“Yeah, I’ve got them back in London.” Alex nods, “Sorry, I forgot to give them you.”

“It’s alright, I’m stocked up on 75 merch at the moment.” You grin, showing the camera your top.

You have the white one where you put a colour over each of the pictures of the 1975 boys and ‘ABIIOR’ and their logo across the front ot it. And you nod when Alex asks you, “You design this one?”

“I put colours on and a bit of effect, yeah.” You nod, “I just do what I do for yours though. I just send them a file and they can pick what they like.”

You smile a little when you say, “They are more picky than you though, I get stuff sent back to either add on or take away. I guess it depends if Matty’s in a minimalist mood or not when he looks at them.”

Alex chuckles at that and after a few more questions that you read to Alex that peaks your interest, you begin to sign off.

“Right, I’ll show his bald head for the twitter stans who have migrated to insta just for him.” You say getting up from your seat and you walk round the island to Alex who’s now started making you some tea.  

“Al, smile.” You tell your best friend but he just looks at the camera with a blank face, so you tell him off, “You never fucking smile on pictures, smile for people.”

And when you still get nothing, you ask him, “Smile for me?”

When the smile comes to his face and you get a cute picture of the both of you smiling into the camera for the live stream, you grin, “Thanks.”

“Right you lot. Thank you for going through this scary experience. Twitter stans, I’m sorry about his hair. Blasphemous to cut it I know, but he wanted it gone. And my guess is that he just wanted to look like Miles.” You joke, finding yourself funny.

“Is Miles on?” Alex asks.

“No, your boyfriend isn’t on.” You joke and Alex rolls his eyes.

“I’ll text him and tell him to watch.” Your best friend says and you can’t stop grinning at the way he wants Miles to watch.  

Alex clocks why you’re smiling like that though and he says, “Can you stop?”

“No, you and Miles are too cute at your gigs.” And you show him to the camera again when you pretend he's blushing, “Don’t go all red on us now.”

Alex just pulls you back into him, giving you a warning with his eyes, and he looks from you to your phone as he says, “I’ll comment when you aren’t speaking to... Fucking hell, nine point two thousand people.”

“I know what you were gunna say so just don’t say it at all.” You shake your head, knowing he was probably going to say something crude about last night.  

“You look so weird.” You grin, taking in his bald head again.  

“Stop being nasty!”

“I’m not being nasty.” You swear, “I had the same reaction when Matty did it. And when Miles did it! I’ve literally known you since we were five, you look weird with no hair.”

You even offer to let him make content about you, “I’ve not had short hair since we were seventeen, isn’t that weird for you?”

Alex just shrugs, smirking a little as he says, “No, I'm just getting flashbacks.”

You poke him in his side for that and let ten thousand people watch as you make him jump. Of course he scorns you for it, but you distract him when you see Miles comment pop up.

“Cute,” You read it out loud for him, “Miles just said both our hair looks good and that he’s excited for your gig.”

You smile at that knowing that Miles going with the Monkeys for a few weeks when they go back on tour. And Alex smiles at what his best friend said too, “Thanks buddy.”

“Miles, do you rate that you pull the buzzcut off better, or him?” You say, running your hand over his head for the camera to see again and Alex laughs as you do. “Because I can’t decide.”

Your best friend pokes you underneath your ribs again which makes you tell him, “Stop poking me.”

“Well stop talking shit about my hair then.” Alex counterargues.

You don’t grace him with a response but mostly because you see Miles comment again.

mileskane: mine is definitely better

You grin, “Miles just said that his looks better.”

“Miles Kane can fuck off.” Alex says, his Sheffield accent coming back in a little thicker as he says that into the camera.  

“So yeah guys,” You start to wrap the live up now and you might as well do some promo for your friend whilst you’re on. “Get tickets to see the Monkeys and get tickets to see The 1975 in Mexico and the US. Because we were at the show yesterday and it was good. Visuals were even better than last time, which I don’t know how, but it is.”

“Did your US tour sell out or are there more tickets?” You ask Alex.

“I don’t know, I don’t look at that.” Your best friend tells you, “I just hope people turn up so we don’t play to an empty room.”

“Wow, depressing. Yet never gunna happen.” You tell the people watching, “Buy a ticket guys.”

“Support my broth- shit, I keep doing that.” You correct yourself, “Support my cousin too.”

1975adam: Just literally call me brother at this point you’re saved as my sister in my phone in the relations bit x

You start stupidly smiling when you see that comment come through, “My heart actually just melted Ad. I love you so much Bro.”

You move so both you and Alex are in view of the camera then, “Right, thanks for watching this idiot cut my hair.”

Putting your arm around his shoulder, you’re about to say, ‘see you all soon.’ but you immediately lift your arm up from Alex’s neck. All you can feel are the short hairs you’ve cut on his neck. How he’s comfortable, you don’t know.

“Oh my god, you’re full of hair. Go and have a shower.” You put your phone down, propped up so it can still see you as you start brushing the hairs off the back of his neck.

“Yeah I know, I’ll go for one now if you’ll finish this up?”

“Yeah, I’ll just stop the liv-” You just about get out but Alex pulls his vest top off, leaving him shirtless in front of you.

Usually you wouldn’t mind, but he’s just turned to change the temperature on the hob and he’s showing his back to the camera. His back which is scratched to shit with red nail marks.

“Oh my fucking god Alex!” You tell him off, moving in front of the camera immediately so they can’t see anymore. But the damage has been done.

“What?” He asks, spinning back around, not understanding why you just screeched like that.

“Put your top back on you fool.” And you say a lot quieter, just above a whisper, “Your back is scratched to shit, and you just showed everyone.”

“Angel,” Alex just laughs, gesturing to your neck. But he says loud enough for everyone to hear, “You have love bites on your neck, they know we had fun last night.”

“Oh my fucking god.” You shake your head at him. Picking up your phone absolutely mortified, not even wanting to read the comments of what would now be coming through.

“Okay, we’re going to go now,” You say and Alex has to stop himself from cackling at how embarrassed you’ve just gone. Still mortified, you smile, “Now I’m gunna struggle turning this video off so enjoy my embarrassed and confused face.”

Thankfully, after a few seconds you turn it off and you switch your phone off immediately after.  Picking up your plaited hair off the side, you marvel at it.

“I can’t believe it’s gone.” You smile, already knowing you’re going to like this change.  

“Same.” Alex smiles, getting you to look back at him as he moves round the island to you.  

“Can’t put it in a cute bun now.” You chuckle, reaching up to run your hands over his head again.

The feeling is oddly satisfying under your palms. You’ll probably be doing it the rest of the night.  

“I can’t wrap yours around my fist now.” Alex smirks as he tries but it just falls around your shoulders again.

He definitely enjoyed doing that last night. And the moan you released when he pulled on it will certainly be sticking with him for a long time.

“Least you can pull on mine.” You chuckle, stepping back into his arms properly, “I can’t even do that now.”

Alex smiles and after a few seconds he asks, “Do I really look forty-five?”

“No, you look good.”

“Seriously?”

“Why would I lie?” You laugh.

And your best friend is a sucker for your giggles. He cups your face, encouraging you to, “Come here”

His lace into your now shorter hair and pulls you closer to him so he can give you another kiss. You happily respond to it as your arms wrap around his neck.

Enjoying the moment, you kiss him back, but when you pull away you tell him seriously, “You need to go shower. All I can feel is hairs on you.”

Of course, Alex’s mind goes back to last night and he asks, “You joining me again?”

“Absolutely not.” You smile but shake your head.

“Boring”

“Not boring, just sore.” You remind him, “And I told you it was one night and you’ve already had your extension on that.”

“I know, I know.” Alex grins, and you know he’s genuine when he says, “And I’m grateful for the one night. I just like teasing you.”

“I know you do.”

~*~*~*~

A few hours later, after Alex has fed you and he’s forced you to watch Blade Runner with him properly, he drives you over to your old flat so you can see Y/B/F. Something which you’re thankful for yet it’s a little bittersweet after such a wild 24 hours coming to an end.

When he pulls up outside the building, you lean across to give him a hug. And when you let go, you say, “Bye Al.” and go to open the door.

But Alex shakes his head, “Hey.” gently grabbing your arm before you even manage to get the door handle.

Wondering if you left something, you look down but don’t see anything. You turn back to your best friend and ask, “What’s up?”

He makes you smile by telling you, “Didn’t leave the first time without a kiss and I won’t be doing so this time.”

“Sorry.” You chuckle and you lean across to kiss your best friend sweetly. You’re certain you’ll always enjoy his kisses and it does feel a little bittersweet that this could be your last one.  

Thinking back to when Alex got a little upset earlier, you tell him, “If you get upset like that again, I want you to call me. I don’t care about time zones, you call me.”

Alex nods, “I promise, I will.”

You hold your pinky up to him and Alex smiles at you before wrapping his around yours.

Alex leans in to kiss you again and you don’t deny yourself the pleasure. You kiss him back and even deepen it to prolong it a little bit, still loving the way you feel when you kiss your best friend.

Eventually, when you part, you say, “Thank you Al.”

“For what?”

“Last night. Today.” You both grin at each other a little but you end on a sweet note, “And for cutting my hair.”

His smile is bright, and you know he means it when he says, “Anytime.”

You laugh at that and you even say, “God, you make me giggle.”

You lean across to kiss his cheek before you get out of the car but lean against the now open window so you can still chat.

“I’m coming to your London shows by the way.” You prewarn him.

Alex smiles hearing that, loving that you’re coming to more of his gigs. He teases a little when he asks, “Should I dedicate a song to you so I can relive last night?”

“You’ll get the same lecture he did.” You shake your head, sternly telling him, “Mention me at a gig ever again and I will castrate you both.”

“Who’s Y/N again?” Alex frowns and he makes you laugh again.

“That’s what I like to hear.” You tap the roof of his car twice before pushing away from it as you say, “Text me Turner. I’ll see you down south soon.”

“Don’t forget to send me that picture of your arse.” Alex shouts as you begin to walk away.

He makes you laugh when he says that because you joked earlier that he may have left a handprint behind. You said that instead of showing him, you’d send him a picture later, but you didn’t think he’d actually remember.

You laugh, but nod walking backwards, “I’ll change into something sexy for you. What’s your favourite colour again?”

“On you, black.”

“Gotcha.” You laugh before nodding, “Text me when you get home and I’ll send it.”

He laughs, “Shall do. Bye Angel, love you.”

“Bye Al.” You grin, “Love you more.”

Turning around, you walk to the building of your door and you get your keys out of your bag. But as you get them out, you feel your phone buzz in your hand.

When you get to the door of your building you stop to unlock the door and read the notification and it turns out to be a text from the person who’s still not yet driven away.

Shakespeare: I’m home x

You look to him and see him grinning at you from his still open window and you laugh. You quickly send him a reply as if he can’t see you giggling.

You: You’re not funny xx

The response is almost instant.

Shakespeare: You know I am xx

Chuckling, you send another response his way.

Goodnight Alexander xxx

And finally, you get his reply, and you blow a kiss to each other before you disappear inside the building.

Goodnight Angel xxx

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: I’m going to hell. Hope you enjoyed xx

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you thought! x

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[nriacc]

From The Ritz To The Rubble | NRIACC: Part 28 |

Plot by @imagine-that-100​ and @ghostlightqueen

Written by @imagine-that-100​

Description: | Here |

Word Count: 21.2k

Warnings: This series contains mature content and themes throughout

A/N: Besties it’s here. The last drama filled chapter before the enddd! We’re getting closer now! I’m still so grateful that everyones still reading alone and sticking with me. Also I get to see both The 1975 and Arctic Monkeys next weekend and I’ve never been happier in my life!!!! The biggest thank you to @alovesreading​ for your help with this chapter, I got this to everyone this week because she was endlessly encouraging me to write so thank you so much! Also there’s a bit of French in this chapter but don’t be going to google translate, the translation is there next to it. Thank you to @red---moon​ for making sure the French is decent for me! Also a reminder that this is fiction and I treat all of these people I write about as characters so do not be giving me shit in my asks. Thanks again for reading, hope you enjoy the drama xx

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~*~*~*~ 14th February 2019 ~*~*~*~

George.

George Daniel.

George fucking Daniel.

The forbidden love of your life.

Your soulmate.

Your long haired, man-bun perfectionist, gentle giant, lovable tree, George motherfucking Daniel… Cut his fucking hair.

And were you prepared for this? Absolutely not.

And this is because you found out when you walked into a restaurant in North London on Valentines Day and were met with your George, sitting there waiting for you, looking all dapper in his suit, with freshly buzzed cut hair.

“What the fuck have you done to your hair?” The words slipped from your mouth before you even made it to the table.

George snorts as he gets up to greet you, pulling you into a hug as he grins, “Hello to you too Baby.”

“Why have you cut your hair?” You ask him, unable to stop yourself from looking at his now very short hair.

It’s actually unnerving looking at him without hair. Since you were 17 you’ve known George to have long hair and yes everyone in your Manchester group of friends has been making jokes about the giant’s receding hairline for the past five years, but God you loved the man-bun so much you hoped this day would never come.

But it seems it has. RIP hot man-bun George Daniel era. Gone but certainly not forgotten.

As you take your seats at the table, your soulmate grins as he says, “Well apparently you shag people with buzzcuts, so I was trying for this to finally be my day.”

“Shut up.” You shake your head at him, your cheeks heating up a little at the mention of your activities with your best friend more than a fortnight ago now. You correct him, “And I shagged him before it was cut off.”

“Sure it was.” George chuckles before picking up the menu in front of him.

Dinner with George is amazing, as it usually is. The pair of you together just ooze sexual tension mixed with unmatched adoration for each other so you both flick between flirty and sweet the entire time.

Of course though, George brings up Alex again saying that you ‘cheated’ on him with ‘one of your many best friends you sleep with’ and you just end up laughing at that. Your soulmate then asks if it's continuing with Alex or not and you tell him the whole truth.

That things between you and Alex are fine and back to usual. There was obviously the odd flirty comment after what happened and the both of you maybe had that phone call you promised him a few nights after he left you littered with bruises. But you didn’t tell George that part.

But other than that, you’re quite happy for things to be normal again. The only regret you have is that you wish you cut the live stream short a little earlier because after watching the end of it back, everyone definitely heard what Alex said and they all clearly knew you shagged after the 1975’s gig that night.

Nothing else is a regret about that 24 hours. You’re very glad it happened and now you feel better than ever heading back into your single life.

Everything feels harmonious for once. You feel at peace with everything and you’re excited for life just to take you wherever it wants.

Does that mean you forgot about what happened though? Absolutely not.

You remember the night fondly, just like you’ve remembered past encounters with other people, like Matty and Y/B/F. But you have found yourself spacing out and thinking about it from time to time because it’s so fresh in your memory.

And because you’d only just finished talking about it before the waiter came to serve both you and George your desserts, you’ve started eating whilst your mind is in the dirtiest depths of the gutters.

“So…” George gets your attention away from the chocolate cake you ordered for your dessert. There’s a grin on his face as he asks, “Will you do me the honour?”

“Of what? Splitting the bill?” You ask, actually having no idea of what he just asked you.

Stop thinking about the way your best mate fucked you, Y/N!

“No, it’s always my turn on Valentines.” George shakes his head, bringing you out of your thoughts again, “I was saying will you do me the honour of being my date at this year's Brit Awards?”

You almost snort out loudly in this otherwise civilised quiet restaurant.

“You’re joking, right?” You ask him, the humour clear in your eyes as you pick up your glass of wine and take a sip.

“No, I’m being serious.” George shakes his head with a genuine smile on his face, “I really want you to come with me.”

You reach out to take his hand as you let him down easily. “Whilst that’s really cute of you G, I vowed many years ago that the 2017 Brits would be my last.”

“Please Baby.” George then pouts as your hand slips from atop of his so you can pick up your fork and start eating your cake again.

“No don’t ‘please baby’ me with your sex eyes.” You shake your head, not letting him get to you with him looking at you all suggestively. You will not break. “Nothing will make me go to another Brit Awards. Especially one where you and the Monkeys are up against each other for Best British Group.”

When those nominations came though, you genuinely wanted to jump out of the closest window. Twitter stans were having a field day tagging you in the post asking you who you wanted to win and that’s initially how you found out. You sent the screenshot to Y/B/F instantly and she phoned you up laughing.

“Come on,” George pleads, “That just makes it even more fun.”

‘HA. For who, George? Because it’s certainly not me’ Is all that you can think.

You just shake your head again, and eat your cake before saying, “Absolutely not.”

“What if I go down on you?” Your soulmate offers and you almost choke.

“George!”

“What?” He tries his best not to laugh as he continues, “We are both up for it, are we not? Or should I say down for it?”

You give him a warning glare as you take a sip of your drink. He’s just grinning at you like he fully means it though and it makes you so flustered. You struggle to turn him down.

“You know Matty would have to be six feet under before we could even think about getting together?” You remind him, “And even then, I think he’d haunt you.”

“Okay maybe sack the Brits off then…” George grins, “I’ve gotta figure out a way to get away with murder.”

“You’re unbelievable.” You laugh but George just takes your hand and intertwines your fingers.

“In bed?” He smirks then winks, “So I’ve been told.”

You smack his hand away from yours and warn him again, “Stop it.”

“Only if you come to the Brits with me.” George raises his eyebrows at you in another attempt to get his own way.  

“Sorry.” You let him down again, “The plan has always been for me and Y/B/F to watch it at my flat before she gets on her plane to Perth for the next leg of the Monkeys tour.”

This news just makes George look even more deflated. But he seems to think his last method of persuasion will work.

“Please.” He pleads, “James Cordon won’t be there. Jack Whitehall is hosting this time and I know you fancy him.”

You hate how well everyone knows you at this point.

“As much as I would love to meet Jack Whitehall, I’m not going.” You stand your ground and both of you end up going back to your desserts. George now with a pouty face that you’d love to kiss back to normal, but alas, you chose Matty not George back in the day.

Silently you know that you can’t even think to begin to change your mind, especially with what happened a few weeks ago. You’ll be the talk of the fucking nation if that gets mentionned.

Once you take the last bite of your cake, you sit back in your seat and grin at your soulmate until he looks over at you. “Did you really think Jack Whitehall being there would be better than you going down on me?”

The grin that comes to his face is the best thing you’ve seen all day. You got your George back from then on out and the rest of your date was just as stunning.

~*~*~*~ 20th February 2019 ~*~*~*~

You are fucking fuming.

There’s a few ways you could put it. Livid. Outraged. Furious. Infuriated. But none of these words quite fits the emotions that are running through you like adrenaline.

You’re ready to punch Matthew Timothy Healy in the fucking face.

It’s Brit Awards day and you don’t know why you led yourself into the false sense of security that all would be okay. But when you found out that the Monkeys weren’t even going because they had the early flight the following day to Perth with Y/B/F, you thought it’d be fine.

You and Y/B/F were a bottle of wine down before the show even started and you were in a great mood. An in even better one when the show first started because as Jack Whitehall was giving his opening speech the camera panned over to Matty and George who had been caught eating and licking their fingers on live TV.

Both you and Y/B/F started cackling when that happened and you texted the group immediately, telling them what just happened on the screen and you also asked what they were eating. George immediately replied saying they had a Nando’s delivered which just made the thought even better.

You found it that funny that you went on twitter to find a clip a fan had put on just so you could see it again. You even went as far as to save it so you’d always have the memory.

Of course, you retweeted it as you think as many people as possible need to see it. Whilst you’re on Twitter though, you see the first reply come and it makes you giggle.

Y/N who do you want to win best british group????? x

And you can’t stop yourself, you reply to the question boldly.

Gorillaz xx

When you show it Y/B/F the both of you start giggling. The tipsier you get the more funny it becomes but it seems to make people on twitter though too so it’s not the end of the world.

Of course, you would like the award to go to one of your favourite bands. But to avoid the drama of it all, you truly wouldn’t mind if Gorillaz, Little Mix, or Years and Years took the title.

Despite the joking, you knew that both bands would like to win the award, and considering you’ve just been texting Alex to ask if he’s needed to do a video to accept the award and he replied that he didn’t, you’re fairly certain they aren’t going to win. It’s unfortunate but Alex said he was expecting it considering the mixed reviews everyone’s given Tranquillity Base.

After assuring him that you and Y/B/F loved the album, you started hoping The 1975 were going to win. It seemed things were going to go that way anyway because someone in their PR team had accidentally released an advert for A Brief Inquiry with ‘Brit Award winning album’ on it, so there was a fairly good chance they were going to win the Mastercard Album of the Year.

But you and Y/B/F just watched happily along anyway. Whatever the outcome, you still support and back your friends 100%.

When the time comes for Best British Band to be announced, Vicky McClure and Natalie Dormer are the ones to make the announcement and you find that your eyes are glued to the screen.

A smile makes its way to your face when you hear, “The 1975!” being announce as the winners. Seeing the grins on Matty and George’s faces when they show the band and when they reach for each other and embrace in the biggest hug its so lovely to see.

Seeing Ross in his suit, your jaw drops at how good he looks when he hugs their manager. But you grin like a fool seeing Adam and Carly in the background. You’re so so so proud of your cousin.

You're grinning like a fool once they make it up to the stage but then you find yourself holding your breath almost scared for what’s about to leave Matty’s mouth. You don’t expect him to stick two fingers up and say ‘fuck arctic monkeys’ but you’re a little worried.

But as it turns out, you were truly worrying about nothing. For his speech, Matty reads out a few lines that his friend Laura Snapes had said about misogyny in the music industry which you think is a really good use of his platform. Because what is the point in having a voice on a stage and not using it to strive for something better?

You calm down after that, knowing that you’ve got through the award where they were against the Monkeys and it went fine. You and Y/B/F sent them a congratulations WhatsApp and about 5 minutes after you both did, you saw that Alex sent them a congratulations in the Two Bands, One Lesbian Couple chat.

Alex’s congratulations to The 1975 were followed along by the other Monkeys showing that there are clearly no hard feelings about it. Obviously The 1975 are busy at the O2 so they don’t reply to any of you but you like that the Monkeys are watching along to support regardless.

The rest of the show is rather uneventful. Jack Whitehall embarrassing Shawn Mendes about his recent Calvin Klein shoot was funny though but you and Y/B/F were just eager to see if your Manchester boys were going to win Mastercard Album of the Year.

It was the last award of the night, as it always is, and you and Y/B/F have now finished 3 bottles of wine and are feeling quite jolly. It really was a shame that was all about to change.

Jared Leto is reading out the winner of the album of the year, and you hold your breath, hoping and praying with every fibre of your being that your boys win. And you’ve never been so happy to hear someone say, “And the winner is… The 1975.”

You and Y/B/F actually stand up cheering for them this time, absolutely ecstatic for them. You’re squealing when they show Adam kissing Carly as the camera moves to them, and you melt when you watch Matty and George hug each other.

When they get up to the stage, your heart fills with the most pure love for them all. They all look so happy and when Matty hugs Ross in front of everyone you want to cry. You know how hard they all worked on this one so you’re really thrilled for them. And you and YB/F sit down to watch their speech.

“Thank you, this is amazing.” Matty says once he’s given the microphone. He’s clearly shell shocked to have got the award, anyone could see that from the way he’s wide eyed and most definitely unprepared.

“Thank you so much, we’re humbled by this award. Erm, thank you everybody.” Matty begins to ramble. “Thank you Jamie Oborne, our fifth member. Thank you to the Brits.”

But then it stops being adorable a second later.

“Thank you to everyone involved- to Arctic Monkeys, for still being such an inspiring and relevant band in 2019.” Matty says patronisingly with a hint of a smirk playing on his lips after he says it. “I know how hard that is.” He adds sarcastically.

You gasp out loud, shocked stiff in your seat as you say, “He didn’t.”

“No. Fucking. Way.” Y/B/F confirms it was reality for you though.

The both of you share a silent look which speaks volumes. You know the both of you just silently yelled to each other, I can’t believe he’s just fucking said that.

You’re fuming from this already because there is really no fucking need for it, but turns out you can reach new levels of anger by the next seven words that leaves the curly haired brunettes mouth.

“Thank you to my beautiful girlfriend, Y/N, for letting me write that stuff down.” Matty continues and you’re sure your brain short circuits and you don't hear the rest of it.

You did notice the other boys' shocked reactions on stage to Matty’s words though and even you at home can read the silent looks they were sending each other. But you don’t even hear Matty finish his speech. You’re absolutely seething.

Y/B/F watches on as Matty finishes off by saying, “Thank you to all of our partners… Thank you erm… Yeah this, this is mad. Thank you so much, we love you… Thank you very much, thanks, cheers.” Matty rambles on before he lifts their well-deserved award up into the air and they are ushered off the stage.

But you’re watching absolutely horrified. As much as they deserve the award for the album that was not needed.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” You yell in your flat which should surprise Y/B/F due to the volume at which you said it, but it doesn’t.

You’re ranting and getting yourself worked up for the 10 minutes that's left of the show then. That includes them playing Sincerity Is Scary to close the show.

You feel so fucking embarassed and stupid. You feel so many emotions at once it all gets to you very quickly.

Even worse when you start getting texts from Alex and the other Monkeys the separate chat you have that Y/B/F is also in. They are shocked as to why Matty would even mention them in the speech, let alone be as patronising and sarcastic as he just was because it was clear to see it wasn’t a compliment, it was the most petty thing you’ve seen from Matty in a long time.

Your mood worsens when you can’t get in touch with Matty after the show ends. You’re sure that in the following hour, you try to call him at least 20 times and he doesn’t answer.

None of the other boys respond either which just makes your blood boil even more despite knowing it’s not their fault. You could see from their reactions that even they thought Matty was going a step too far.

You made a point of sending a tweet out saying, Just for clarification, I’m no ones girlfriend. I don't know why that shit was said.

You just feel so fucking embarassed. Everyone who pays attention to either of the bands knows that you shagged Alex a matter of weeks ago and now Matty’s saying you’re his girlfriend. It makes you look like a slag, when you’re so far from one it’s a joke.

You’ve been doing so well with not caring about what anyone thinks of you, and maybe it’s because you're drunk, but it feels like a massive setback. You hate the thought that people could have heard what happy said tonight and they could think you were a slut. It just brings back so many bad memories, you really hate all the old feelings that are being dragged back through your system.

It’s almost 2 hours later when one of the four of them picks up the phone, and unsurprisingly it’s not the person you actually wanted to pick up. So you really have to mute your anger when your soulmate answers his phone.

“Baby, hey!” George greets you loudly and clearly quite cheerfully down the phone.

“I’ve been calling you.” You say bluntly, not having quite enough softness in your voice that George deserves considering he’s done nothing wrong.

It seems to go unnoticed by the drummer though, as you hear him very chipperly say, “Sorry we just got to the after party. Barely any signal in the O2.”

“G I need to-” You just about get out before George starts talking over the noise you can hear in the background of the call.

You can hear his sexy grin that’s definitely on his face when he interrupts and asks, “You calling to congratulate us, Baby?”

“Something like that.” You brush the comment off, “Listen I-”

“Who’s that?” You just about hear Ross ask on the other end of the phone.

“It’s my Baby.” You can almost hear his grin as he says it, and any other night it would leave you weak at the knees but tonight is not that night.

“G.” You try to get his attention again but it doesn’t work.

“Wheels, we won!” You hear Matty yell in glee in the background.

You’re about to say something back, as hearing Matty so unbothered by it all just fuels your anger. As if he doesn’t know he’s done wrong.

Before you can say anything George is very excitedly rambling to you. He’s clearly had a few drinks and of course you think he’s entitled to celebrate. But you’re fucking fuming now you have Matty only a person away. You end up cutting into George’s cute ramblings.

“George,” You interrupt him, frankly needing to yell at the person who deserves it now. “I’m really happy for you and that you’ve won the awards n’all, but you need to put me on the phone to Matty right now before I blow a fucking fuse.”

You hear your soulmate sigh then and he hesitantly starts saying, “Baby, please don’t do-”

“George, I’m fucking fuming.” You interject again, not taking no for an answer, “I saw your reactions on stage when he said what he said. Put me on the fucking phone to him now before I lose my shit at you when you don’t deserve it.”

All you’re met with is a sigh then, and you’re thankful when he doesn’t argue again.

“Good luck mate.” You hear George say as he hands the phone over to Matty.

“Sweetheart, hey!” You hear your curly haired brunette say excitedly down the phone.

But you ignore the greeting completely and ask, “Have you taken anything?”

“What?” Matty asks, entirely confused and you believe him when he says, “No.”

“Then how much have you had to drink?” You interrogate some more, with anger clear in your voice.

“I’ve not had anything,” Matty tells you, sounding a little defensive. “Have to be up early to do a podcast tomorrow, so I’m a sober boy all around tonight.”

“Matty, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” The news just makes your blood boil more, because there’s no excuse for his behaviour. “You said all of that shit sober! Are you fucking insane?!”

You’re sure you hear a dry scoff or sigh from him before he says, “Wheels, just please don't start right.”

“No, you don't get to dismiss my feelings on this, Matty,” You say loudly down the phone as you’re pacing your lounge with Y/B/F watching you. “I’m entitled to be feeling how I am after the shit you just pulled.”

“What shit, Y/N?” Matty tries to play dumb, “I’ve done fuck all wrong.”

“Fuck all?” He’s just made your blood boil even more, “Are you joking?!”

Considering his lack of memory on the subject, you point out his mistakes, “You called me your girlfriend!”

“Sorry Wheels, it’s an old habit.” Matty says and it sounds like he means his apology but you’re too upset let that be it.

“It’s really fucking not! We've not been together for six years!” Your words are like razors, “You did it spitefully to try and cause shit. I’m not your girlfriend Matty, I haven’t been for a long fucking time and you really need to get over this.”

Y/B/F is already a little worried about this interaction, you’re already raging and you’ve only just started. And you being drunk as well, this isn’t a good combination. So despite her agreeing that what Matty has done is wrong, she’s apprehensive about the situation being blown out of proportion.

“Don’t be like that, Wheels, it's a slip of the tongue.” Matty tries to diffuse the situation before it begins.

“Like fuck it was!”

“Genuinely didn’t mean it Y/N/N. It was a slip in the moment.”  Matty  “I was caught off guard and I was just trying to thank you very sincerely for being a muse Y/N, I've done nothing wrong.”

“Yeah, you have. You shouldn't have called me that.” And you just get angrier when you remember what else he did, “And your saying you’ve done nothing wrong, what about sarcastically slagging the Monkeys off in your speech when there was no fucking need for it.”

“Oh, it's really not that deep.” You can picture Matty pulling a face and shaking his head.  

“It is though!” You yell back, “It fucking is, Matty, and you know it is! You're good with them. There was absolutely no need for that when for the last year, you've been fine with them.”

“I’ve been fine with Matt, Jamie, and Nick, Y/N.” Matty corrects you, “When have I ever been fine with Alex?”

And then it’s like a lightbulb goes off in your head. A dry scoff rips through your throat, “Oh my god! Is that what this is about?!”

“Have you really just slagged the Monkeys off to the fucking nation because you’re jealous I fucked Alex last month?!” You’re fuming now you’ve pieced it together, “Is that really why you just did that?”

“Y/N.” Matty tries to interrupt but you’re having none of it.

“Are you really that jealous?” You ask, absolutely seething, “If so you need to grow the fuck up, it’s a fucking joke. And espeically after calling me your fucking girlfriend, when you know full well that Alex accidentally outed what happened between us on the live stream.”

That seems to anger Matty though because he backchats with, “First of all Wheels, if that was accidental, it was about as accidental as Helders cheating on his wife.”

Your jaw drops, “You didn’t just s-”

“And Second!” You’re interrupted this time, Matty telling you with annoyance in his voice now, “No, I’m not jealous that you fucked him, Y/N. We’ve fucked more times than you’ve fucked him, but that’s not the fucking point… I don’t need a souvenir that we’ve slept together Y/N, I'm not a horny teenager. I don’t need a video saying “I fucked Y/N Y/L/N’ to know that’s something that’s happened between us. Jealousy plays no part in it.”

Matty tells you with utter conviction in his voice, “I don’t like Alex because he’s been a colossal dickhead to you and he made you feel like utter shit for months on end last year.”

“I know I’m not a saint, and you were probably the same after what happened with us, but like you keep pointing out, that was years ago. I’ve grown up, he clearly hasn’t.” Before you can scoff Matty continues, “He did it one year ago, he did it when you were twenty one, and he did it when you were seventeen. I said what I said because I don’t likehim.”

You get all that you really do, because to anyone who knows your relationship, it must look absolutely insane. You don’t think there will ever be a day where they are on good terms with each other. That would take something earth shattering. The world would have to go into some sort of apocalyptic style epidemic for Alex Turner and Matty Healy to like each other, but you can’t see that happening anytime soon.

But that doesn’t mean Matty can go around saying this shit he did tonight. Matty’s feelings about the situation shouldn’t be making you feel like you do tonight. He could have just talked to you, not on TV.

“Do you not understand how fucking embarassing that is for me though Matty? You can dislike him privately. We don’t need to relive 2014 and have articles about the three of us flying round again.” You say sternly, your frustration completely taking over now.

“I have enough to deal with when you release songs about me, basically telling everyone about the weird dynamic between me, you, and Alex. And now you’ve just embarrassed me on live TV when the whole of fucking Instagram and Twitter knows I fucked Alex last month.” Your almost crying, you’re so annoyed and upset by the whole thing, “You’ve made me look like a whore Matty, when I’ve not been with anyone for a long fucking time.”

“I’ve not made you look like a whore at all, Wheels!” Matty sounds upset you’ve even suggested that, “What are you talking about? All I did was look out for you.”

There’s emotion in your voice now, and Matty can hear that along with the disbelief as you ask, “You call that looking out for me?”

“You’ve been my best friend, for what? Almost twenty years, Wheels!” Matty fights his own corner, “I’m not just going to stand by and not comment when I’m trying to protect you from someone who could ultimately hurt you.”

“I don’t need you to do that for me, Matty. And I certainly don’t need you to protect me on live TV.” You yell, “Send me a fucking text!”

“I fucking did.” Matty almost yells back at you, “I sent you a fair few that night and you didn’t reply to them, even afterwards.”

You dryly laugh, “Sorry Matty, please forgive me for not replying to texts whilst I was sleeping with your archnemesis. Forgive me, it was on silent and I left my phone downstairs. Your jealousy wasn’t a priority to me at that moment.”

You’re pacing around your lounge back and forth now, not even aware of anything you’re really seeing. Y/B/F might be there still, but you honestly don’t know. You’re just so upset and angry at Matty down the other end of the phone.  

“I wasn’t fucking jealous, Wheels!” Matty starts yelling now, “Stop with the fucking jealousy speech because I couldn’t give a shit... I want you to be happy, I truly want nothing more. But after what you said at your gallery and how you said sleeping with other people made you think what he said about you was true. I'm not sorry to say that I think you deserve better than that.”

Before you can comment on that, your curly haired brunette continues, “If he’s endgame for you that's honestly fine, yeah maybe I shouldn’t have just said that on TV. But considering he’s yet to prove himself, I won’t apologise for trying to look out for my best friend.”

You wish it was that easy to just forgive him like that. But you’re too irritated now, you scoff, “Well if you’re not going to apologise for it, I’ve got nothing else to say to you Matty. I don’t want to fucking speak to you again if you think what you’ve done is acceptable. We’re not kids anymore, grow the fuck up!”

You continue, “I’ve wasted enough time dealing with everyone else's shit and I’m fucking done with it. I’ve given up too much in my life, always trying to appease both of you and I'm through.” You want to pull your hair out when you say, “If it’s not one of you hurting me, it’s the other.”

“You can’t for a second believe what I've done tonight is anywhere near the same as what Alex did to you last year?!” Matty sounds shocked and upset as he argues, “What he called you was fucking awful, I just thanked you for letting me write lyrics about you!”

You’re too focused on your last points to even hear him though, “I’m through Matty! I thought you’d leave this petting shit about me and Alex in the past. I’m sick of being in the middle.”

“Oh dear, such a common crisis for you, Sweetheart.” Matty says dryly and sarcastically adds, “Such a hard life.”

“You seriously don't wanna start comparing shit right now Matty, you really don't.” You’re grinding your teeth trying to keep your rage in. “Carry on and your narcissism will be showing… But realistically when isn't it, right? It's always all about you.”

There's a loud groan then before Matty shouts, “I’m trying to look out for you! What aren’t you understanding!”

“That's not how you should have gone about it!” You yell back, “I’m a grown woman and I can make my own decisions. I don't need your jealousy to take centre stage on TV and broadcast it there!”

“Why aren’t you fucking listening? I’m not fucking jealous!”

“Oh piss off Matty,” You shake your head, not believing a fucking word. “You’re just lying through your teeth at this point.”

“I’m lying?” Matty almost laughs, “You’re lying to your fucking self, Y/N!”

“Grow the fuck up!” You yell.

Matty backchats, “Take your own fucking advice.”

“I’m fucking sick of you. Just piss off Matty.” You’re fuming at this point, “Like piss off for good.”

“Fine!” Matty is entirely serious as he says, “Don’t come crawling back to me when he’s upset you again because I will just say I told you so.”

“I dont want to fuck him again, Matty! Is that what you wanted me to say?” You just don’t understand what he’s not fucking understanding. But you’re fuming as you dryly reply, “Sorry that your jealousy cant handle it, but I dont want to fuck you either.”

“Fuck right off calling me jealous! It's not what this is about!”

“You fucking are! Just fucking admit it!”

“Y/N.” Y/B/F shocks you as she steps in front of you and sternly tells you, “That’s enough. Hang up the phone.”

But you don’t pay attention to her because Matty shouts down the phone, “No because I'm not.”

You turn away from Y/B/F and start giving Matty your attention again, “If you’re not jealous, then the earth doesn't revolve around the sun.”

But this just annoys Y/B/F now. You don’t hear her as she tells Adam on the other end of her phone, “She’s not hanging up.”

“Then we take the phones off them.” Your cousin tells her, not wanting to let this continue any longer.

“Yeah.” Y/B/F turns towards you again, planning to stop this argument entirely, “On three.”

“Shut the fuck up Matty, why it always about you?!” Y/B/F watches as you yell down your phone again.

But she starts the count, “Three.”

You start again, “Oh please, you think-”

“Two.” Adam says on the other end of the line.

Y/B/F says, “One.” before she walks up to you, snatches your phone out of your hand and ending the call.  

Turning towards her, you direct some anger at her, “What the fuck Y/B/F?!”

“You can talk to him when you’re both not screaming down the phone.” She tells you unforgivingly.

She thinks you’ve had too much to drink for this and clearly neither of you are actually listening to the other. Nothing good could have come from the conversation and after listening to just your side of it, she wishes she never let you call Matty in the first place.  

“Yeah, I’ll see you soon Ads, love you. Byeee.” Y/B/F ignores you and says cheerfully to your cousin but when she hangs up on him.

She only looks back at you to say, “You can talk it out tomorrow. You’re not achieving anything by getting each other aggravated.”

“Absolutely not.” You get the last of your anger out of your system now as you say, “He can fuck off if he thinks I’m going to listen to him justify his shitty fucking behaviour. I’m fucking through with it. Like fully sick of it.”

“You need to calm the fuck down.”

“No!”

“Y/N.” She warns you, but you’re still agitated.

“Don’t order me about Y/B/F.” You yell.

Your best friend takes no offence to it. You're clearly drunk, probably tired, and very emotional. But she’s just trying to diffuse the whole situation now.

A little more softly, your best friend tries again, “Y/N/N, I-”

“I’m so tired.” You shake your head, running your hands through your hair and pull on it a little you’re so annoyed. “I’m so fucking tired of this happening all the time. I just want my life to be easy for once… I want my friends to be just that, my friends.”

“Seems like you just lost one Y/N.” Y/B/F breathes out as she sits back down.

You almost laugh, “And who’s fault is that?”

But you don’t expect her answer.  

She’s truthful as she says, “Both of yours after that screaming contest.”

“You can’t be siding with him right now?” You look at her like she’s just betrayed you, “Not after the shit he pulled earlier.”

“I’m saying you need to calm down.” She looks at the TV instead of you then, opting to change the channel as she tells you honestly, “I don’t think screaming at each other helped and I think you’ve made it worse. You can fix it tomorrow.”

Before you can even think to respond, Y/B/F orders you, “Now please, come and sit down and pretend this never happened for a few hours before we go to sleep. We can squeeze in a few more episodes of Drag Race if we start now.”

So you do as you're told and slowly your anger and hurt starts to dull down, but it doesn’t go away despite the distractions. Nor does it the next day, so needless to say, neither you or Matty fixed it.

~*~*~*~ April 23th 2019 ~*~*~*~

Alex got a girlfriend.

And you’re really happy for him. Apparently he met her as they were all on tour back in the beginning of March and they hit it off really well. Y/B/F, being on tour with them, had obviously let you know when this started happening and Alex told you when it was made official a little after a month.

You’re currently living your best life, absolutely drama free for the past 2 months due to not being in contact with Matty so you’re over the moon for Alex. Up until a few days ago, you’d yet to give her the seal of approval as you’d yet to meet her, but now you’re taken a bit of a holiday and you’ve come to Paris to see your best friend for the first time after his tour.

Pauline, Alex’s new girlfriend, is French and you’re very excited about this because it gives you an excuse to go to one of your favourite cities to see your best friend. Alex invited you over to the house he was renting whilst he was staying over there for a while and you’ve been over for a few days.

You met Pauline the second day you were in Paris, after Alex went to pick her up from the train station as she’d just been away to visit her parents, and you must say, you really liked her. You didn’t expect that you wouldn’t though, not after hearing good things from Y/B/F and the band. And you know Alex doesn’t have bad taste.

Talking to her was really easy and you found her very easy to make conversation with, and seeing just how happy Alex was with her sitting beside him holding her hand, you’re truly so happy for him. On the day that you were on your own with them, you found out that Pauline uses her middle name - louise - as her stage name, but goes by Pauline to her friends and family, and that she aspires to be a musician.

She’s honestly really lovely and she’s been more than welcoming to you as she shows you and Alex around to somewhere even he hasn’t been yet. And last night you all had a wine night after you went and picked Matt and Y/B/F up from the airport as they were coming to stay until the end of your holiday too.

Last night you all got fairly drunk before heading to bed and it was so much fun because it felt just like old times again. The four best friends plus a new addition who held a place in Alex’s heart. It was honestly such a lovely night and you all had the best time.

What you were excited about though, was sleeping in and relaxing in bed like you were meant to have on holiday. But that didn’t quite happen, and that’s not because you were now sharing your bed with Y/B/F.

It was because you could hear your other best friend shagging his girlfriend through the wall behind your heads at seven in the morning.

And you only find this out because Y/B/F nudges you when you turn over in your sleep and she asks, “Please tell me you can hear that and I’m not hearing things.”

It takes you a few seconds to open your eyes and regain some sort of consciousness before you hear the thudding. And when you do your eyes go wide, and your hand goes over your mouth as you gasp.

“Nooo.” You shake your head, you must be hearing things.

It’s a creaky old house that Alex is renting. It’s beautiful, but it’s ancient. Surely it’s just a pipe filling up with water or something.

“They can’t be.” Y/B/F has some wishful thinking too as she hears the steady thudding.

You hear a whine through the wall and you both look at each other with even wider eyes, you whisper, “I think they are.”

“Holy shit.” Y/B/F laughs but she puts her hand over her mouth.

Both of you lie there facing each other, the rhythmic thudding continuing with faint sounds accompanying it on occasion that makes the both of you laugh into your pillows.

After a few seconds though, Y/B/F takes your attention away from the activities happening on the other side of the wall and she asks, “Are you okay?”

“Y/B/F, yes of course I am.” You swear.

She gives you a pointed look then, clearly wanting to double check that you are okay but you genuinely are fine. You’re really not in a place where you want to be with anyone at the minute and certainly not your best friend again.

That fun night in January was just that, fun.

You promise her, “I’m honestly really really happy for him. I think they really suit each other and she clearly makes him happy so what’s not to like.”

Y/B/F smiles at that, actually fully believing you now so she says, “Yeah, he does talk about her like he talked about you. Was the same on tour as well.”

“And it’s super fucking adorable.” You smile, really happy your best friend is with someone who makes him as happy as he deserves to be.

Y/B/F nods, agreeing with you but then you see her try and hold a smirk after a few seconds and you know she’s just thought something that she shouldn’t say out loud. But it makes you want to know, so you ask, “What?”

“Can I be nasty for one second?” She whispers.

You shake your head, “No, don’t be mean about her.”

“I'm sorry but how can you moan the name Pauline and it be sexy? Especially with a Yorkshire accent.” She tries not to giggle the whole time she speaks.

“Stop it.” You try not to laugh at her so you scorn her instead, “You’re so nasty.”

“I'm just wondering!” She whisper-shouts as she laughs, “Your name rolls off the tongue and I like the way you moaned mine, but I can't imagine saying that… It’s like moaning the name Alan. It's not sexy.”

“He probably calls her a nickname or something.” You defend her entirely, and you hit her arm when she starts quietly laughing which in turn makes you giggle too, “Stop being nasty, she’s really lovely.”

“I know she is-” Y/B/F says but she cuts herself off when the both of you hear a loud moan through the wall but then it’s muted half way through which has you snorting with laughter, quietly though.

Y/B/F shocks you by saying, “That's his thumb going into her mouth to keep her quiet.”

You slap her arm a few times then as you hold in your laughter silently. You can’t believe she’s just connected the dots from what you told her about that night with Alex to what she’s just heard now.

Regardless though, the both of you are silently laughing, almost crying, on this bed listening to Alex getting a shag.

You slap her once more as you whisper, “I didn’t tell you that so you could try to use echolocation to watch them shag.”

She raises her hands in innocence before making you laugh again when she says, “I’m just trying to gauge how kinky he can be at seven in the morning.”

“Stop it.” You warn her, but your attention moves your other best friend again.

Another creak of the bed and a moan of his name can be heard through the wall and you feel mortified for her. Not that you’d be bringing it up but you know what it’s like to be the one heard through the wall, it’s the worst knowing you’ve been caught.

“I don't think she wants him to stop.” Y/B/F makes herself laugh again.

Subsequently, you start laughing too and both of you lie there giggling. The both of you chat amongst yourselves for a few minutes, only laughing when you hear a faint moan or something through the wall. But you tune the headboard thudding out as you talk about what you vaguely recall the plan for today that was mentioned last night.

You got as far as remembering that Alex said he wanted to take you to a spot he found. And you remember Pauline said she was going to show you around the niche parts of the city that tourists don’t know about and that her friend was going to join you all before they were going to the airport this evening as they were going to Italy on holiday.

But before you can continue discussing your day, at the same time you and Y/B/F notice that everything falls silent. The thudding from the other room has stopped. And both of you can’t help but silently laugh at each other.

“Damn that boy draws it out,” Y/B/F chuckles, “That was a solid ten minutes and they were going before we woke up.”

“Well at least he can make a girl finish.” You stick up for your best friend in the other room, “That’s more than half of the men out there can do.”

“We don’t know she finished…” Y/B/F grins as she teases, “They could have just stopped because he made her cry.”

“Fuck you!” You half laugh as you throw your pillow at her with the trace of a smile on your lips.

~*~*~*~

“Morning.” Alex calls as you and Y/B/F walk down the stairs an hour later to find Alex cooking scrambled eggs on the hob.

“Morning Shakespeare.” You grin, walking over to him wondering if you could help with anything.

Y/B/F smiles, “Morning Al, where’s Pauline and Matt?”

“Matt’s on the settee still. And Pauline’s in the shower.” Alex informs you and then asks before Y/B/F heads out the room to see Matt, “How’d you both sleep?”

“Yeah, alright thank you.” She smirks at him before looking at you to take over before she disappears into the other room.

“You had a nice wake up alarm, didn’t you big boy?” You grin up at your best friend as he cooks and you see the realisation dawn on him.

Alex blushes then and smiles looking back to the eggs in the pan. He tells you, “Don’t embarrass her.”

“We would never.” You promise, as you reach over him to steal a piece of toast that’s just popped up out of the toaster so you can butter it, “Just funny.”

Y/B/F comes back into the room, clearly having heard what you were talking about, and says, “I just wondered if you moaned in French or not, Al.”

You snort as you finish buttering your toast and your best friend giggles at her own joke. But Alex is clearly the tiniest bit embarrassed and has had enough of you for the moment.

“Piss off both of you,” Alex shakes his head, nudging you to head to the table as he says, “Breakfast will be ready in five minutes.”

~*~*~*~

Today has been really lovely. Breakfast was so lovely this morning and being in Paris and walking round the unknown bits of the city surrounded by your friends for the rest of the day has been insane.

Pauline and her best friend Sophie had been giving you the grand tour of all the quirky shops that they love and you must admit this has been the best day of your holiday so far. From all the vintage shops you’d been in filled with an abundance of clothes and random decor, you fully love everything about the small back alley stores. You got the nicest lunch from the bakery and when you went to the markets just afterwards, you and Y/B/F got the most gorgeous leather bracelets engraved with, ‘amour de ma vie’ which translates to love of my life.

Alex takes you to the place which is the entire highlight of your day though. He takes you to the most stunning street you’ve probably ever seen in your life.

Either side of the quiet road is lined with cherry blossom trees that are in full bloom and the mere sight of it as you turned the corner onto the street had your eyes tearing up. Your heart fills with pure joy as you had a short walk up and down the road but of course you made Alex take a picture of you in the middle of the road when there was no oncoming traffic.

Y/B/F, Matt, Pauline, and Sophie watched on, none of them understanding why you were so happy other than Y/B/F. But you’re beaming as you get Alex to take a picture of you in your cute pink sundress under the stunning pink trees. And when you make Y/B/F take a picture of you and Alex under the trees she obviously gets jealous so after taking one she makes Matt get one of the three of you under the trees.

Today you’ve actually not had a single care in the world. You’ve felt amazing about yourself and who you’re around and you truthfully don’t want the day to end. Pauline and Sophie have been really lovely with you all and you’re quite sad that you won't see them for the rest of your trip because they’re going on holiday later.

You’re a little jealous they are off to Italy but you’re absolutely loving your time here so it won’t be too hard to not want to leave and go travelling somewhere else. Everything’s just so peaceful but also vibrant and full of life.

You’re currently in a stunning section of the city, sitting outside at a table at a restaurant as the weather is amazing, having such a lovely evening with your friends. You’ve just eaten an early dinner and you’re so full you could fall asleep at any given moment.

It’s reached that time in the day where you’re all having separate conversations or you’re not really feeling the need to talk. That was what you and Y/B/F had just been like as she’d brought a book with her on the trip and she was already half way through it because she’s abnormally fast at reading.

Matt and Alex were chatting about everything and nothing and Pauline and Sophie were the same, but every so often they were chipping into Matt and Alex’s conversation. As were you and Y/B/F but then both of you got distracted talking about what you wanted to do with the rest of your trip whilst you’re all together.

But all of a sudden you tune into another conversation that makes you stop listening to Y/B/F entirely as she’s still talking to you.

“Mon dieu, tu aurais dû la voir en tournée ! Elle ne les a jamais laissés seuls une seconde.” Pauline says, which you know roughly translates to, oh my god, you should have seen her on tour! She never left them alone for a second.

Curiosity definitely killed the cat because you carry on listening and you hear Sophie ask her, “Pourquoi? Que faisait-elle?” Why? What did she do?

‘Bien, c'est leur tour manager, donc elle est autour d'eux à toute heure de la journée et je suis presque sûr que c'est parce qu'elle a un faible pour Matt.” Well, she’s their tour manager, so she’s around them all hours of the day and I’m almost sure it's because she has a thing for Matt, Pauline tells her and you almost scoff in disgust when she continues to tell her, “Je suis sûr qu'elle a encouragé Matt à tromper sa femme juste pour qu'elle brancher avec lui.” I’m certain she encouraged Matt to cheat on his wife just so she could get with him.

She’s got to be fucking joking… Surely? But with a quick glance through your sunglasses you can see that they seem to be having a very serious conversation. There’s no hint of joking at all.

“Wow. C'est fou.” That's insane. Sophie looks bewildered, so she asks, “Pourquoi l'emploieraient-ils?” Why would they employ her?

“Ils emploient l'autre aussi.” They employ the other one too. Pauline responds, sounding disgusted after she shrugged her shoulders.

“Vraiment?” Really?

“Ouais… On pourrait penser que si les gars les payaient, ils pourraient s'offrir de meilleurs vêtements.” Yeah… You’d think if the boys were paying them, they could afford better clothes. Pauline has the audacity to laugh and then nod over at you and Y/B/F and continues to say, “Voir. Dans le faux haut Gucci et je sais pas où elle a acheté la robe, mais putain ça a l'air bon marché.” Look at them. In the fake Gucci top and I don’t know where she bought the dress, but fucking hell, it looks cheap.

You’re upset but at the moment it masks itself as anger and confusion. You just don’t understand where any of this is coming from.

You’ve been staying with them for days and you’d told her time and time again that you think that she and Alex look really good together. She makes him happy so there’s nothing more that you want for him, and you really wanted to get on with her.

Honestly, you thought that you’d made a new friend whilst you’ve been here. The past few days she’d been lovely to you. But all of that is slowly washing away as you understand everything the gossiping pair say to each other.

And you’re royally pissed off about the shit that’s being said about Y/B/F. She’s fucking amazing at her job for a start and that shouldn’t be being questioned by her friendship with Matt that’s always been strictly platonic.

And Y/B/F was fucking mortified when everything came out about Matt cheating on Breana. You can’t believe someone would think the worst of her and spread nasty lies about how she’s trying to fuck her best friend when she was so angry and against Matt for the longest time.

Y/B/F must clock on that you’re staring into space because she leans closer and breaks your thoughts as she whispers, “What’s wrong?”

You don’t even try to form a lie, you just turn to her a little more and let you hair fall across your face so they can’t see or hear you whisper back, “They’re saying shit about us. Nasty shit. About you earlier but now about me.”

Immediately defensive, “If they wanna start I’ll fucki-”

“No, just let me listen.” You interrupt before she can essentially ‘blow your cover’. Clearly in this case being bilingual is a benefit and you’d rather hear just what they think of you before announcing you can speak their language fluently.

You nod to the book in her hand and say, “Pretend to read or something and I’ll text you what they are saying.”

And both of you do that. You settle in your seats, Y/B/F leaning back pretending to read her book with her phone stuffed between the open pages with the message app ready and waiting to be informed about what's been said.

And after quickly summarising what shit has already come out of their mouths, you tune back into their conversation.

“Ouais,” Yeah, Pauline nods, “il l'a baisée en janvier.” He fucked her in January.

Ah, so they’ve clearly moved on to the subject of you and Alex now.

“No.” Sophie looks wide eyed in clear disbelief.

“Oui il l'a fait. Elle a baisé la moitié de ses amis.” Yes, he did… She’s fucked half her friends. Pauline tells Sophie, and she seems to know a lot about you considering you’ve never told her any of this. “Son amie lisant à côté d'elle, elle a pris son pied avec elle il y a quelques années. Bien sûr, elle était occasionnellement avec Alex. Et tu connais le gars de ce groupe, The 1975 ? Ouais, ils sont sortis ensemble aussi, et elle le dérange aussi bien qu'Alex.” Her friend reading beside her, she got with her a few years ago. Obviously been on and off with Alex. And you know the guy from that band, The 1975? Yeah, well he was with her too and she’s been messing him about as well as Alex.

“Quand tu racontes tout comme ça, elle a l'air d'une pute.” Sounds like a whore when you put it all out like that.Sophie shakes her head, sounding disgraced to even know you.  

“Je sais.” I know. Pauline nods, “Vraiment, je sais pas ce que l'un d'eux voit en elle si je suis honnête.” I really don’t know what any of them see in her if I’m honest.

“Moi non plus. Regarde la.” Me neither. Look at her. Pauline must gesture towards you because you can feel their gaze burning your skin.

And you’re rapidly typing all of this out in multiple texts over to Y/B/F and from her replies you know she’s furious. But you know that is’s best not to say anything, at least night now anyway.

“Y/N/N?” Alex breaks your attention and you look towards him in a little bit of a fright, worried that you’ve been caught.

“Yeah?” You question, but settle yourself when you know that he definitely can’t have read what you’re typing.  

“Are you alright?” He looks from you, and over to Y/B/F beside you and adds, “Both been quiet for a while.”

“Yeah fine, honestly.” You nod, lying through your teeth as you say, “I’m just replying to some emails whilst Y/B/F reads.”

“Ah fair enough,” Alex smiles, “You can take a day off though you know.”

“I know,” You smile, thankful for the small gesture in the middle of this that makes you not want to punch his girlfriend here and now. But you’re sure when you promise him, “I’ll turn on out-of-office emails tomorrow.”

Your best friend smiles at you then from the other side of the table before Matt pulls him back into the conversation they were just in. Leaving you to earwig again.

“As-tu vu ça?” Did you see that? Pauline rolls her eyes, “Comme une chienne en chaleur. Son cou a failli se casser en tournant.” Like a bitch on heat. Neck nearly snapped looking over to him.

“Elle l'a déjà baisé, que veut-elle d'autre?” She’s already fucked him, what more does she want? Sophie asks her best friend as if you’ve not been smiling at her and being kind all day.

But nothing can prepare you for the way your heart sinks to the very bottom of your chest when you hear the next statement fall from Pauline’s lips.

“Je sais pas si vous avez vu. Elle a des cicatrices sur la main et une grosse sur la cuisse.” I don’t know if you’ve seen that she got scars on her hand and a big one on her thigh.

“No.” Sophie shakes her head, but then she must clearly look over at you and see your scars because a second later its like she’s disgusted but enthralled in Pauline’s story when she asks, “Putain, comment c'est arrivé?” Fucking hell, how did that happen?

Pauline informs her best friend, “Quand elle était avec le gars de The 1975, il a eu un accident de voiture et elle a eu la pire des blessures.” When she was with the guy from The 1975, he crashed the car and she got the worst of it.

Your hands start to shake a little as you try to tell Y/B/F everything that’s being said when you hear Sophie say, “Ceux-ci font baisser sa valeur. Pas étonnant qu'elle soit célibataire et qu'Alex ne la veuille pas.” Well, those bring her price right down. No wonder she’s single and Alex didn’t want her.

But you want to sob when you hear Pauline start to laugh, “J'aurais aussi eu un accident de voiture si j'avais été avec elle.” I’d have crashed the car too, if I were with her.

“Probablement écrasé la voiture pour la faire taire, tout ce qu'elle fait c'est bavarder avec tout le monde. C'est un miracle qu'on ait un moment de paix.” Probably crashed the car to shut her up, all she does is chat everyone's ear off. It’s a miracle we’re getting a moment's peace. They giggle and your heart fucking breaks.

How anyone can joke about an almost fatal car crash that you - or anyone - has experienced is beyond you. How someone can act like they have been your friend for the past few days but then think and chat all this shit behind your back has you speechless. And frankly, you find it utterly disgusting.

You feel Y/B/F take your hand after you send her the text of what’s just been said and you do everything in your power to keep your emotions in check.

You see in your peripherals that Pauline flicks her hair as she smiles, “Regarde nous deux, ce n'est pas une surprise qu'il m'ait choisi.” Well look at the two of us, it's not a wonder he picked me.

"Qu'est-ce que diable Alex a vu en elle?" What the hell did Alex see in her? Sophie asks, completely bewildered.

You’re not sure, maybe that you’re not a two faced bitch like these motherfuckers seem to be? But you bite your tongue a little longer.

“J’sais pas.” I don’t know. Pauline says like she’s known you for years and loathes you.

Sophie chuckles a little when she says, “Soyons juste heureux qu'il ait fait tester ses yeux.” Let’s just be glad he got his eyes tested.

"Ouais, il l'a probablement fait, et a vu ses cicatrices et s'est dit, mon Dieu, quelle erreur j'ai commise." Yeah, he probably did and got one look at her scars and thought, Christ what a mistake I’ve made. Pauline laughs and when Sophie joins in, you have to take a moment for yourself.

You get the text sent off to Y/B/F who you can feel is fuming beside you just as Alex interrupts the french girls conversation. You’re shaking as you put your head down, letting your hair cover your face for a moment as you say, “Are you okay with heading back towards the house in like twenty minutes?”

You tune out the prepping for the airport talk and as you look down you can’t help but pull your dress down in hopes it’ll cover your knees. Your dress only makes it down to your mid-thigh though and when it rides up again immediately, you hate that you can see the last few inches of your scar showing.

And even seeing the ones on your hand as you try to adjust your dress triggers you. So you just feel the awful sinking feeling reside in your chest and you need to distract yourself.

You need to get up and stop focusing on them before you spiral. And you’re thankful you know exactly how you can do that.

“I’m just going to go to the loo.” You briefly tell Matt as you get up from your seat.

Y/B/F tells you immediately, “I’ll come with you.” but you’ve already scrambled up and headed inside. Instead of heading to the toilet though, you walk towards the bar and ask the lady who looks around 25 for assistance.

You walk up to the bar in front of her and say, “Excusez-moi?” Excuse me?

“Oui?” Yes?

You ask her, “Où est le magasin de vêtements le plus proche? ” Where’s the nearest clothes shop?

“Il y a un petit magasin vintage au coin de la rue ou il y a un magasin à environ trois minutes sur la route.” There’s a small vintage shop around the corner or there’s a store about three minutes down the road. She informs you, and you’ve never been so thankful to someone you’ve spoken to for less than a minute.

You’ve never wanted to be out of a dress more than you do right now. You feel disgusting, and your skin feels like it's crawling as you’re paranoid that everyone's eyes are on you.

You know it's irrational. But you’ve not spiralled this much since 2014 and you just need to be in clothes you feel comfortable and covered in and hopefully that will make this feeling go away.

“Merci beaucoup.” Thank you very much. You smile before you turn to go out of the door again,

“Y/N, are you alright?” Rushes over to you as you’re about to head out of the side entrance.

“Not really but I’ll be okay.” You assure her, really just needing to be on your own for a few minutes. “Please just give me ten minutes. I just want to go for a walk, I promise I’ll be back in ten.”

There’s sympathy in her eyes and you know she doesn’t want to let you go on your own, but she respects what you asked and nods, “Okay, but be careful.”

“Ten minutes, I promise.” You swear before pushing the door open to the other entrance and heading in the direction the bartender pointed out.

You’ve never gone shopping in such haste. The first pair of trousers you saw in your size were a pair of army green cargo pants and you found a dark grey, long sleeveed, distressed, baggy top that you quickly purchased and changed into.

There were a few tears as you were getting changed but you forced yourself to not look in the mirror and sit down for a few minutes to get ahold of your emotions. You know you shouldn’t let what they think about you get to you, but you can’t really help the sinking feeling in your chest.

It lingers as you manage to stop the tears from falling anymore and get ahold of yourself enough. But even as you silently tell yourself in the mirror, ‘You are enough’, ‘You are loved’, ‘You are beautiful’, the words taste bitter on your tongue.

You just put your sunglasses back on and get your acting head in order as you walk back. You’re not going to make a big deal out of this now, you don’t know if you really have it in you today to do.

Besides, you’d be interested in hearing if anything else is said about you before you make it known you can understand exactly what they’re saying.

“Oh, new outfit?” Matt smiles, looking you up and down as you walk back to the table and you smile and nod as you walk around him.

“When did you get that?” Alex asks, looking at you with genuine interest as you take your seat beside Y/B/F again.

“Just now,” You smile, “I saw a vintage shop on the way here and wanted to go in before we left.”

Alex looks a little upset that you went on your own as he says, “We could have all gone on the way back, you didn’t have to go by yourself.”

“It’s fine, fancied a walk.” You assure him.

Your best friend is sincere when he says. “Looks good, Angel.” after looking at your outfit.

“Thanks Al.” You give him a short smile, but you turn to Y/B/F and you start having a silent conversation where you know she’s asking you if you’re okay.

“You all ready to go now Y/N’s back?” Your best friend looks to his girlfriend and then around to you all and after everyone nods, you go back to your conversation with Y/B/F as you all gather your things.

When you start to walk back, you and your best friend link arms and walk ahead of Alex, Matt, and the two-faced twig bitches. She’s making sure you’re alright which you assure her you are, but you’re just in the mood to go back to the house and go to sleep at this point.

You’re just trying to take your mind off it, and you do that by walking around admiring the view and you and Y/B/F share an airpod each listening to Pale Waves’ album My Mind Makes Noises. It’s not turned up too loud, but it’s just enough to keep your attention off the heavy feeling that resides in your chest.

The people watching and the view of the stunning cities leaves you to get lost in your imagination for a little while. It’s a pleasant walk back towards the rented houses and quite peaceful with only you and Y/B/F chatting every so often and the dull chatter of the other behind the both of you. But of course, the peace is disrupted.

“Damn Cupcake, your arse looks good in those pants.” Matt calls from behind you which makes you laugh.

You carry on walking and just glance back at him and the others behind you, “You’re never not looking are you? Staring at my arse this whole time.”

Matt smirks at you, “Absolutely.”

Next to him Alex chuckles at his best friend as his arm is linked with the bitch of a girlfriend he has, but you ignore both Pauline and Sophie.

Y/B/F stop walking though so she can get a look of your arse and her eyes go wide, “Christ, he’s right though your arse looks great.”

You snort at her then, shaking your head but she’s making you smile so it’s definitely worth the tiny scolding. You stop and flirt back with her, “Says you? Those jeans are so hot.”

“Don’t stop walking.” Matt interrupts and ushers you forward as you all stop for a moment, “I need to commit this to memory.” He says as he shamelessly looks between your arses.

“Just take a picture Matt.” You laugh before you start walking again pulling YB/F with you.

Your best friend has no shame though. She slaps your arse right in front of them all, leaving it stinging and Alex and Matt laughing and you gasping slightly before she takes your arm and makes you link her as you walk.

“Don’t pretend you don’t like it.” She says, loud enough for everyone to hear.

You just smirk and cock your head to the side, shrugging slightly because given the right context you really do. And you think absolutely nothing more of it as you carry on walking, but you can never have a joke about that apparently.

“Voir? Salope.” See? Slut. Is the next thing you hear fall from Pauline’s mouth then, followed by the two girls laughing.

Your smile falls from your face, and Y/B/F can tell it’s something bad straight away. “What?”

You shake your head but Y/B/F persists, “Tell me now.”

“She’s just called me a slut.” You sigh.

“Oh that’s it.” Y/B/F goes to turn around but you hold her even tighter.

You shake your head, “No, I’d rather hear what else might be said before they fuck off to Italy.”

And with that you move on from the conversation and the peace is kept until you’re saying goodbye. Y/B/F and yourself just stuck to each other for the rest of the evening, and the only other time you really interact with Pauline and Sophie is just before Alex takes them to the airport.

You’ve just said a half hearted goodbye to Sophie and you’re left to wait for your what’s found to be a fake one with Pauline. But first you watch her hug Y/B/F.

“Nice to see you again Y/B/F.” She says as she hugs her, before pulling back and saying, “I’ll see you soon.”

Y/B/F bites her tongue and says as nice as she possibly can, “See you soon.”

“Y/N, so lovely to finally meet you after being told so much about you.” She grins as she traps you in a hug that’s clearly forced and her words are fake but sound so sincere. You almost laugh when she says, “You’re just as amazing as your best friend makes you out to be.”

“Well, he’s a gooden.” You smile, once again stopping yourself from wanting to have a fight that you know you could easily win.

“He is.” Pauline smiles as she lets go of you. And she thinks she’s fly because when she takes one step away from you, she whispers under her breath, “Dommage que tu sois une pute.” Shame you’re a whore.

Quietly scoffing, you move back over to Y/B/F and you, her, and Matt follow the other 3 outside to Alex’s rented car that he’s driving the girls to the airport in. Your blood is bubbling with rage at this point, and you know you’ll forever regret not saying something.

So when it’s your turn to say goodbye to them after the three get in the car (Alex driving, Pauline in the passenger seat, and Sophie behind her), you lean down to Alex's window to say your final ‘goodbyes’.

“Alex, drive safe.” You smile at him, and you know you’ll remember the following moment for the rest of your life. You maintain your smile as you look over to Pauline and Sophie and say, “J'espère qu'il n'écrasera pas la voiture parce que quelqu'un est trop bavard. Peu importe la force de la tentation.” Hope he doesn’t crash the car because anyones being too chatty. No matter how strong the temptation may be.

And that is the moment you see the girls' faces fall completely. And it’s even more satisfying when you hear Y/B/F let out a short laugh from behind you, probably at the sight of their now gawking faces as you continue.

"Et puis-je dire que le haut de Y / B / F n'est pas un faux Gucci. Elle est aussi pratiquement fiancée et elle méprisait Matt pour ce qu'il a fait à Breana, alors ne répandez pas de mensonges désagréables qu'elle essaie d'obtenir avec lui.” And can I say Y/B/F’s top isn’t fake Gucci. She’s also practically engaged and she fucking despised Matt for what he did to Breana, so don’t spread distasteful lies that she’s trying to get with him. You defend your best friend entirely, but you make sure the sickeningly sweet smile is still on your face so Alex takes no notice of you as he carries on his short conversation with Matt as you talk to the girls,

In a cheery voice, you contradict your tone with your words, "Vous savez le strict minimum de ce qui s'est passé dans chacune de nos vies, alors ne parlez pas de nous comme si vous étiez là depuis plus de deux mois." You know the bare minimum of what's happened in any of our lives, so don’t go around talking about us like you’ve been around for more than two months.

You’re never felt such joy seeing such mortified expressions on two people's faces. But nothing could stop you as you continue on to mention the things that they said about you.

There’s a hint of sympathy in your voice as you smile and lean in a little more to say, "C'est vraiment triste et désespéré de ta part d'utiliser ma vie sexuelle, et l'accident qui m'a presque coûté la vie, comme un moyen de dire de la merde sur moi. C'est franchement dégueulasse. Grandis putain de merde.” It’s really sad and desperate of you to use my sex life, and the accident that almost cost me my life, as a means to talk shit about me. It’s frankly disgusting. Grow the fuck up.

And finally, your smile is making your cheeks ache and your voice is full of amusement as you say, "Et puis-je suggérer que la prochaine fois, vous devriez savoir si quelqu'un parle couramment votre langue avant de décider de commencer à s'en prendre à tout le monde." And can I suggest, next time you should find out if anyone can speak your language fluently before you decide to start slagging everyone off.

You’ve never been so happy to see two girls look almost scared for their lives and turn white as sheets. And you feel no remorse at all, they deserve it for how they’ve made you feel today, and for chatting shit about your friends.

“Are you okay?” Alex draws your attention back to him as you push yourself away from the car a little bit.

Your rant is finished now, no need to look at them any longer than necessary.

“I’m perfectly fine.” You smile at your best friend, “Have a safe drive.”

“Oh and I hope you enjoy Italy.” You duck back down to smile at the girls in the car again. This time you give them a wave as you tell them to fuck off in italian in a sing song drawn out voice, “Vaffanculo.”

And with that, you turn back to Y/B/F with a wicked smile on your lips and you grab her hand and pull her back into the stunning French house. At least you can end this short holiday entirely bitch free now with your true friends by your side.

~*~*~*~ May 16th 2019 ~*~*~*~

“For fuck sake Ross, why didn’t you blow his brains out?!” You yell down your headset.

Playing Call of Duty absolutely never got old with Ross. You found him the easiest to play on the PS4 with by a mile as the other 1975 boys were either shit, or got too annoying when something didn’t go their way, or was just a shite shot.

And when you and Ross play, you just have the necessary catch ups that you always love and need with him. And you know that anything said between you on these calls stays between you and him.

“Sorry, I was just shocked by the fact you said you’ve just declined George’s request to join the party.” Ross apologises but his response makes you laugh.

It’s true, George’s PS4 username just popped up saying he was active and because you’re connected to each other on the console, he requested to join your’s and Ross’ call. But you denied the request and went back to your game.

You chuckle a little as you tell Ross sincerely, “That’s because this is our time and we never get to do anything just us two anymore. I miss you Ross. I need my McDonald time.”

“I miss you too Y/N.” You can practically hear his grin.

As both of you wait for the next game to start, you sit and reminisce for a while. Ross asks, “Do you remember back up North when you were over our way, and there was that afternoon that everyone was busy so it was just us two and I showed you how to play Mortal Kombat so you would stop feeling left out?”

“Course I do. Sparked my love for nights like these.” You grin at the memory.

You and Ross got so involved you were playing for hours. So long that everyone had come back around to the Hann Household to find you and Ross playing away, and neither of you really took any notice of the others coming back. You were always bullying each other for the other’s good attack or swearing at each other when you won or lost.

Even though Matt was the one with the Mortal Kombat tattoo, Ross was the one you thought of when you heard that iconic ‘Finish him’ line as you were playing the game.

“You know another memory I really loved from back up there?” You smile as you think back to another memory of you and Ross, “That day you took me to the Macclesfield Town game.”

“That was such a good day.” Your adorable friend says with a grin.

“It really was. Probably one of the best football matches I've ever been to.” You're smiling like a fool at the memory, “I’m so glad your brother let you down last minute.”

“I’m so glad you could drive and even wanted to come.” He sounds so grateful even still when he says that.

“Course I did. I’ll never pass up a ticket to a football match.” You wish you could see the blush that’d bound to come to his cheeks when you add, “And pretending to be your girlfriend wasn’t a hardship.”

“Oh my god yeah, forgot about that.” Ross chuckles, “The dickheads in front of us were being sly, weren't they?”

“Yeah and they were making jokes and saying that you could never manage to pull a girl and that I must have been your sister or something,” You scoff thinking back to the day when the lads were all jealous of Ross. But you smirk when you say, “But when I kissed you, they shut up pretty fucking quickly, didn’t they?”

“They did.” Ross laughs, “God, that was so funny.”

“It was.” You wish you could squish his cheeks when you say, “You blushed so hard.”

“That was like my first proper kiss Y/N,” Ross scolds you a little, “What did you expect?”

Your jaw falls open hearing that, “No way was I your first proper kiss?”

Your heart fills with even more love for your McDonald. You can’t believe you didn’t know this. It happened like a week before you first started shagging Matty so he would have been 18.

“You were.” Ross tells you, “No one paid attention to me Y/N. Why do you think I wanted to move out of Cheshire and into the City?”

You can’t help but chuckle a little at that, “Oh my god, has ‘The City’ been about you all along?”

Ross just starts laughing, and after it died down a little, you ask, “How are my boys?”

“George is alright, been going to the gym a little more before we go on tour and between rehearsals.” Ross informs you and you have to stop yourself from drooling at the thought.

Maybe you should go to the gym with him a few times before they go away on tour. Yes, you make a mental note to get that in your calendar sooner rather than later.

Ross continues to tell you, “Adam’s alright, but you know what he’s like before a tour. He always gets dead stressed out about the set and the stage production even though we’ve already done a leg of the tour and everythings going to be fine.”

“God yeah,” You laugh, knowing exactly what a stress head your cousin can be. “He needs to chill out.”

Ross hums in agreement before moving on, “And Matty is-”

“Don’t waste your breath Ross,” You interrupt, “I'm not that fussed about how Matty is.”

You’re still got pent up anger about the Brits night, and it comes back whenever he’s mentioned it just comes back to the surface. You’ve still not spoken to him and you don’t plan on doing so either.  

“Right Y/N/N,” Ross sighs, “Are we going to talk about this?”

You shake your head like he can see you, “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Yes there is.” He says in a stern tone, “We’ve been ignoring the elephant in the room for months.”

“You’ve not spoken to one of your best friends in over three months.” Ross points out and you’re a little surprised at how long it’s been. Certainly didn’t feel that long.

You tell him, “And you know exactly why that is Ross.”

Ross already wants to pull his hair out though, “God, you’re both too stubborn for your own good.”

“What's your opinion on the matter then?” You ask him, wanting to know his point of view before you explain your own.

“I think that you’re both idiots.” Ross gets the bold statement out of the way first, “I think you were both right and you were both wrong. Yes, Matty went about it in the wrong way but I understand why he did it.”

You’re about to cut in then, but he surprises you when he says, “I wanted to do the same… Not in the calling you my girlfriend respect because thats fucking weird, but he wanted to thank you and defend you in his weird way.”

And you start to argue then but before you can get a full word out, Ross once again cuts in, “Before you start Y/N, I know him calling you his girlfriend was the way he dug his own grave. I'm not defending him, he could have just said thanks to you and said nothing more. I agree that's where you’re in the right.”

That at least makes you feel a little better about where this is going. But Ross’ next question takes you aback a little.

“But if you knew that Gabby was just going to run back to Australia before she actually did it, you would have gone and warned Matty whether he believed you or not, wouldn't you?”

Little thought goes into your answer, because of course you would have. “Yeah,” You nod, “If I knew he was going to get hurt, I'd have wanted to protect him from that.”

“You would have wanted to scream it from the rooftops to warn him before he got hurt by her, right?”

“Of course I would.” You nod.

“That’s just what he did. He just did it on TV.” Ross spells it out for you, “And I know it's so very far from the smartest idea he’s ever had, and he clearly didn’t know if you were sticking to the ‘it was just one night’ thing… It’s far from right, but that is why he did it. In his own weird way, he wanted to protect you from Alex possibly hurting you again.”

“Yes,” Ross continues, “It’s not his place but I’ve seen him when he’s been jealous over you, Y/N… He really wasn't this time. And I love you to the moon and back but you were drunk Y/N and you pushed it too far which made him go too far.”

Well shit, if Ross of all people is saying this, it definitely means something. Maybe you should have listened to Y/N that night.  

“It doesn’t excuse the shit he said about Arctic Monkeys.” You say, not wanting to comment on what was just said but getting at least the last anger out of your system by saying that outloud.  

“I know it doesn't. And believe me, we’ve spoken to him about that… But I know the Monkeys’ comment isn't what has upset you... It’s the fact that you slept with Alex two weeks before Matty called you his girlfriend on TV and I know that must have dragged back up insecure feelings.”

Damn, how is this man hitting the bullseye every damn time.

You’re silent until he checks, “Am I wrong?”

“No.” You sigh, and you don’t hesitate to be honest and say, “I’m hurt by it still, Ross.”

“I know, and I know that must be because of what you think people say or think about you… And believe me, Matty understands that now.”

You shake your head a little as you quietly say, “He can understand it but it's not like he’s called to apologise.”

“Because you’re both too proud.” Ross states the obvious. “And he really didn’t like the way you were speaking to him. Especially calling him jealous, and I'll repeat, he definitely wasn't and you know I wouldn’t lie to you.”

You’re right he never once has and you don’t think he ever will. Shit, you really need to have a think about all of this.  

“You’d have protected him from Gabby if you could, right? Because that’s what you do for your best friends?” Ross asks again to reaffirm his point.

You nod, like he can see you, quietly saying, “Yeah, I would have.”

“That’s all he was trying to do for you because he thought that Alex was going to hurt you again.” Ross gets his message through loud and clear, “He just went about it in the wrong way.”

He adds on, “The whole situation was just a shitstorm but I'd reconsider cutting him out of your life if I was you. Because you’re not quite the same without each other to annoy every now and again.”

That makes you smile a little. You do miss Matty. But this silent treatment between you was meant to make a point. But if you’re both making different points, it might not be doing anything beneficial.

But that's for you to think about another time. Not when you’re having your games night with your friend.  

You give nothing away as you say, “I’m not promising anything, Ross.”

“And I can’t force you to. I’m just here if you want to talk about anything.”  

“Thank you.” You smile, really grateful to him for that offer.  

You know he’s probably smiling in the moment of silence between you as the next game starts to load. But he remembers to tell you, “Oh by the way. George has put you down on the guestlist for Reading and Leeds.”

Oh fuck, you almost forgot they were headlining. And that was only a few months away at this point. You can’t believe how fast time has gone.

“I don't know Ross…” You trail off, not really knowing if its the best idea to go if Matty doesn't want to speak to you.

You’re angry at him, but wanting to taint his dream day by you being there with him is not what you want.

“Y/N, it’s Leeds Fest… You can't miss this.” Ross states seriously.

You almost stumble over your words as you say, “With how things are with me and Matty, I can’t imagine-”

“Who gives a fuck?” Ross is serious now as he says, “I don't care if you come and you stand in the crowd Y/N, but you have to come.”

“I-”

“Don't argue with me on this one please.” He pleads and you can feel just how much he means what he says.

“Ross with things being the way they are, I can’t listen to Matty sing at the minute.” You’re entirely honest with him, “A song comes on and I just get so angry about it I can't deal with it.”

You feel bad when you say, “I’ll ruin your day.”

“You can wear earplugs. Please Y/N, we want you there.” Ross adds, almost begging at his point, “I want you there.”

You don’t want to give him an answer, so you just dismiss the conversation by sighing, “We’ll see.”

“Yeah, we’ll see you at Leeds.” Ross changes your words to what they should be to try and manifest it happening.

You hold back your, ‘Don't hold your breath.’

~*~*~*~ 25th June 2019 ~*~*~*~

It’s your 33rd birthday today.

You’ve had a lovely day. You’ve come back up North for the occasion as Y/B/F and Charlie said you could happily stay with them again in your old flat.

This morning you were greeted by a visit from your Aunt, Uncle, and your Mum. It was a little emotional but it was okay. Your Aunt had found another picture of you and your Dad which you had been showing everyone for the rest of the day.

You sent it to your group chat which had The 1975 boys in it (because you couldn’t show them in person as they had all flown to America for their US tour) and all of them, even Matty, had reacted to it with a love heart and they sent you a happy birthday message each. Despite sending one to Matty when it was his birthday, you didn’t expect to receive anything from him today.

But you got the text through about 5 minutes after you sent the picture to them:

Picture is lovely Sweetheart, Happy Birthday xx

Whilst that was a nice addition to your day, you just said thank you and nothing more had been said between the two of you. You’d been mulling over what Ross had talked to you about but you’d yet to do anything.

Today though, you were so beyond excited to show Alex this picture. You’d been restraining yourself all day from sending it over to him knowing you’d be seeing him tonight at your birthday meal.

You’d invited the Monkeys out along with Y/B/F and Charlie. Despite loving Katie and Kelly to pieces, you thought it would be best for wifes and girlfriends to stay at home purely because you didn’t want to make Breana awkward if she was to come. You know her and Matt are doing a good job at co-parenting but you don’t want to push them too much.

But last week, you got a message from Alex asking if he could bring Pauline to your meal. And because you and Y/B/F had never told Alex about what happened in France, hoping he’d realise she's a cow on his own, he is still with her and you accepted his request for her to join you.

You didn’t plan on sitting near her or talking to her apart from greeting her and saying goodbye. But you’d just bite your tongue like you did in Paris and if she said shit today you’d fully call her out on it. You don’t think she’d be that stupid as to do anything like that again though.

But turns out, you didn’t even need to be worried about it. Because you invited the lads out to meet for the meal at 7 and within the space of 15 minutes, Jamie, Nick, Matt, and Miles all showed up.

But Alex is nowhere to be seen.

You all waited as long as you could, phoning and texting Alex from your seats in the restaurant, just to get nothing back. The longer it went on and the more times the waitresses and waiters came over to see if you were still waiting made your heart sink more and more.

It just reminded you of when he stood you up on your date. And that’s not something you ever hoped to relive.

So when the waitress comes over again, over an hour after you should have been sitting down to eat,  asking, “Are you still waiting or can we take your orders?”

You say, “Yeah, we’re ready to order. The others aren’t coming clearly.”

Everyone has a glum or annoyed expression on their face as your orders are taken. And when the waitress leaves, everyone looks around to you and you can see the sympathy in their eyes because clearly you’re hurt that your best friend isn’t here to celebrate with you.  

“It’s okay,” You shake your head, trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel. “He’s probably just forgotten we were out of the meal.”

“Has he even wished you happy birthday?” Jamie asks you and that is when your heart sinks.

“Um, no.” You realise, and your face falls entirely.

Your best friend hasn’t even wished you a happy birthday. Even Matty had sent you the obligatory birthday text and you weren’t even on speaking terms with him.

And that's when you realise that your best friend hasn’t kept his promise to you this year of always being with you on your birthday to make sure you’re okay. It sours your mood a little, not really understanding why today of all days he’d ghost you, and everyone else trying to get in contact with him.

“He’s a fucking prick,” Matt doesn’t hold back his anger any longer after hearing you say that. “I spoke to him two days ago about coming here today. He knows it's your birthday, he should be here.”

You go to brush it off, “It’s fine.”

“No it’s not, it’s far from fine.” Matt shakes his head, and you can see just how fuming he is. The other lads, even Miles, start nodding as they agree with him entirely.

He looks like he’s in a debate with himself for a few seconds before deciding to just air what he’s thinking out loud. Matt takes you by surprise when he looks you dead in the eye as he says, “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something Y/N/N. Didn’t really want to do it today but considering more shit has happened because of it today, I feel like we should just ask you.”

“Ask me what?” You question curiously.

Matt states bluntly, “If you would maybe have a private conversation with Alex about his bitch of a girlfriend?”

Y/B/F can’t stop the shocked laugh that leaves her throat hearing Matt say that. And to be honest you’re surprised too. You’ve only been slagging her off to Y/B/F, and you only told Matt what happened in Paris on the flight home.

You’re a little confused for a second as you don’t know how you’re meant to help any of this, “What do you mean? What can I even say?”

“We just think if you have a talk with him and tell him all the shit that she said about in Paris and the things that we've noticed about her, he won’t blow up at you.” Jamie takes over for a second, sincerely adding, “You have a knack of getting through to him and he actually listens… You’re his best friend after all.”

“Why?” Y/B/F asks your next question before you can get to it, “What have you noticed about her?”

“Well after you told me what was said in Paris, I started keeping an eye out. Because that's a massive red flag if I've ever heard one.” Matt informs you, “But since we came home, he’s been in the studio with her almost every day to make her first album and that shit is expensive. I don’t even think she was signed before Alex got with her.”

Jamie jumps in now to say, “She’s always with him too, like he’s never on his own anymore. She’s always got to be with him, it’s like they’re joined at the hip… And when you just want to bring your mates round and watch the football and you have someone scoffing every few seconds that she’s not getting his full attention it’s really fucking annoying.”

Clearly he’s irritated by it because he finishes with, “Like it’s 2019, you’re allowed to be independent from your boyfriend. Put him down.”  

“Yeah because didn’t he message you last week to ask if she could come here today?” Y/B/F asks you and you silently nod.

“And they didn’t show… How classy.” Nick shakes his head, sarcasm thick in his voice. “I really dislike her. I think she’s fake and she’s with him for publicity. But after Matt told us what she said in Paris, I wouldn’t be surprised if it's her fault he’s not here.”

It’s Miles who chips in next and you’re assuming all of their anger is stemming from the fact they can probably see on your face that Alex not being here has upset you. Even if you’re trying not to let it show, it clearly has.

Miles takes everyones attention when he agrees with Nick saying, “Yeah wouldn’t be surprised. And it’s so fucking clear she’s with him for publicity. She puts him on her instagram story all the time, but makes it subtle but it’s easy to tell it’s Al when you know him.”

“Not to mention the shit her friends post about him. I’ve got the videos of what her friends were posting of me and him when we went to a few clubs with them over the space of a week.” Miles continues, “They were tagging me. But because Al doesn’t have instagram - or one that they know about - they were tagging arctic monkeys in the videos and using the alex turner hashtag.”

Miles looks annoyed as he says, “I don’t know why he can’t just be Alex when she’s with him. He’s always Alex Turner from Arctic Monkeys or The Last Shadow Puppets. She was introducing him to her friends like that, saying, “This is my boyfriend Alex. You’ll recognise him from Arctic Monkeys and this is his mate Miles who Alex is in The Last Shadow Puppets with’. Like just fuck off and give it a rest… I don’t know how Alex isn’t seeing it. He looked uncomfortable in the videos, I’ll send them to you, but I’ve never seen him look like such a show animal and then he doesn’t say anything because of it.”

Jesus fucking Christ. This is a lot.

A lot to process on your birthday. A lot to even think about somehow getting this all across to Alex at some point because the last thing you want to do is make him feel uncomfortable.

Seeing your internal struggle, Jamie assures you, “You don’t have to talk to him if you don’t want to, but we just thought that maybe you could get through to him because he would just blow up at us.”

You nod understanding that completely, but you say, “Well, it’s clearly got out of hand at this point. I don’t mind saying something gently to him if you’ll all back me up if he talks to you about it afterwards.”

Matt notices the look of worry on your face as everyone agrees that they will do. But Matt soon realises that this isn’t the time or the place anymore. This can be talked about another day.

“Let's just forget about this prick, yeah?” Matt smiles, and gives your hand a quick squeeze, “We’ll have a nice night without him.”

“Yeah.” You nod and you do just that.

You do end up having a lovely meal and everyone at the table found the picture of you and your Dad really lovely to see. They commented on how you looked just like him when you were younger which made you smile and it brought the happy gooey feeling of somehow being that little bit closer to your Dad.

It’s just soured when you’re all still drinking after your meal Y/B/F says, “Wow, what a fucking twat.” and shows you all what Pauline has put on her Instagram and her story.

On her Instagram, the first picture in the post that you’re greeted with is a picture you never thought you would see in your life. It's taken from above and it’s a picture of Alex’s hands playing the piano, but what makes every single one of you want to roll your eyes is that there are white knickers lying on top of the piano which are embroidered with Pauline’s last name, Verneuil.

The second picture in the post is of what is very clearly a table for two at a restaurant and you can just about see Alex’s brown leather jacket that you bought him for his birthday years ago now. It’s only Alex’s arm that’s in the picture, but you know for a fact it’s him and the caption just breaks your heart:

Had the best day x

Personally that feels like a ‘fuck you’. She’s posted that on her instagram on your birthday when both Alex and her were meant to be out with you. You’re absolutely seething.

But the icing on the cake is her Instagram story. You’re met with a picture of her and Alex’s bare legs tangled in bed, in Alex’s flat and you can see your smaller cherry blossom painting that you made him for Christmas in the background. The caption on that was, Best way to end the day 💖

“Wow, nice to know my birthday means fuck all when you can play the piano and get a shag out of it.” You scoff before you can stop yourself but no one defends Alex in the slightest because it’s clear to see he’s just blown you off for a day with his girlfriend and a shag.

All of them can’t believe that Alex has gone out for his own meal with his girlfriend, clearly as you have all been waiting for him, and he just

“He bought her that piano too.” Matt informs you, sounding absolutely done with his best friend. “At least five grand for a Wurlitzers but I’m sure he got it custom for her so it’ll have been more.”

“He’s known her since March. What the actual fuck? Y/B/F scoffs, “I’ve known him since I was five and I’d never dream of accepting something like that from him.”

“He’s fucking pussy whipped.” Miles shakes his head. “Somehow worse than he ever was for you Y/N.”

“Probably because I only shagged him on three separate occasions and she’s probably gone three rounds today.” You shake your head, “I just can’t believe he’s posed for her to take a picture of her underwear on a piano.”

“Fucking weird that she wants to take that picture in the first place.” Charlie says with concern clear on his face.

Y/B/F doesn’t seem to mind slagging Alex off at all when he boldly states, “She’s clearly trying to get across that she’s his and she’s shagging him and desperate is not a good look from her.”

“I just see Alex getting hurt, that’s the only reason why I even mentioned talking to him before. Because I know none of us want to see him get hurt.” Matt ends the subject with you all agreeing.

And when you think about everything that’s been mentioned about Alex and Pauline when you get back to the flat, you can’t help but be reminded of the conversation you and Ross had last month.

“But if you knew that Gabby was just going to run back to Australia before she actually did it, you would have gone and warned Matty whether he believed you or not, wouldn't you?”

Little thought goes into your answer, because of course you would have. “Yeah,” You nod, “If I knew he was going to get hurt, I'd have wanted to protect him from that.”

“You would have wanted to scream it from the rooftops to warn him before he got hurt by her, right?”

“Of course I would.” You nod.

And that’s what makes you realise that you’ll regret it if you don’t say anything to Alex. He doesn’t have to do anything with the information you tell him - as you’ve not taken his relationship advice over the years - but as long as he believes you and takes what you say on board so he can be cautious, you know you’ll have done the right thing.

So you promise yourself, when the opportunity arises you’ll talk to him. Because the last thing you want is for Alex to get hurt.

~*~*~*~ 19th July 2019 ~*~*~*~

It started off with a gentle, “Alex, I need to talk to you about something.”

And it has all gone to complete shit.

You’re in his flat in Sheffield, as you thought telling him in his own space might help a bit. But when you warned him that he wasn’t going to like what you had to say and that he would sit down, you could see the defensiveness build from the moment you started speaking.

You’ve mentioned everything that Matt, Miles, and the other boys had told you, but you said it as if you’ve noticed everything yourself. The last thing you want to do is make Alex feel like he’s being ganged up on and that you’ve all been talking shit behind his back even though you have.

You’re as gentle as you can be with everything and Alex sits and listens to everything not really giving you much to gauge his reaction. When you finish initially, he asks if you can tell him what was said when you were in France and you don’t keep anything from him, you explain it all the best that you can remember.  

As soon as you told him what happened in Paris, he shook his head, “She wouldn’t say that.”

“Are you saying I’m lying?” You frown a little when you ask.

You understand he could be in denial for a little while, but to point blank refuse it shocks you a little.

“I’m saying you must have misheard her, or you got it translated wrong in your head because she wouldn’t say that.” Alex defends his girlfriend completely.

“Alex,” You’re still calm as you continue, “You saw me come back in a completely different outfit because I had an anxiety attack about my scars.”

But instead of accepting that, he just shuts you down again, “You didn’t look upset.”

“Because I went away to compose myself.” You can’t really believe what you’re hearing. He’s not even accepting that you were upset now, “Why would I lie about having an anxiety attack about what Pauline said about my scars?”

“Because why would she even say that?” Alex says wide eyed.

“I don't know,” You shrug, “She was saying a lot about me, Alex.”

Anger floods out now, as he goes even more defensive, but his tone is confrontational when he asks, “What’s that meant to mean? Are you having a go at me for telling her about you? If you’re annoyed about me telling her about the accident, I only did that so she wouldn’t ask you and make you feel uncomfortable.”

“No, that’s not what I was upset about.” You can feel all of the hurt fill your chest again as you have to try to explain, “I was upset about her and her friend calling me a slag, saying that my scars ‘bring the price of me down’, and them laughing saying that they would have crashed the car if I was in it with them just to shut me up.”

“I just don’t believe they’d say that Y/N.” Alex shakes his head, running his hand over his buzz cut hair. “It doesn’t make any sense…”

He’s quiet for a second when he asks genuinely with no anger in his voice, “Are you sure you didn’t translate it wrong?”

“Alex, I’ve been fluent for years.” You back yourself 100%. There’s a bit of sympathy in your voice as you say, “You know I’ve never gotten it wrong before.”

“You just seem like you’re never yourself around her Al. You always seem like you’re a circus animal for her to have on show.” Your voice is full of hesitance and concern for him.

But now you’re talking, and you seem to be getting through a little bit, you add, “And it worries me that she wasn’t a musician before you got with her. And now she’s suddenly got you making an album with her.”

You want to bring up the demo that Alex sent in the group chat the other week. The start of one of Pauline’s songs is identical to Mad Sounds, and it just worries you even more about their relationship. It just feels like she gains so much more from Alex than he receives back.

“Just say what you’re trying to say…” Alex says, and you try not to react to him saying, “Come on, spit it out.”

“She’s using you.” You state the point, like ripping off a plaster.

Your best friend just stands up and shakes his head, “I can’t actually believe you’re saying this bullshit.”

But what shocks you most is when he looks you dead in the eye and demands, “You can’t expect me to just pine for you for the rest of my life and then when I do move on - like you’ve been asking me to for five fucking years - you can’t be happy for me.”

“This has nothing to do with me, Alex.” You swear, getting defensive yourself now and you stand up to follow him to the kitchen, “I’m not saying this out of jealousy or spite I’m telling you the truth because you’re being blinded by her.”

There’s hurt in your voice as you try to say, “You didn’t even come out on my birthday because you were with her all day. I got a new picture of me and my Da-”

Alex cuts you off, “I told you that was an accident. I couldn’t find my phone the whole day so I didn’t know the date.”

That has to be the worst excuse you’ve ever fucking heard in your life. And it just

“Funny that because Pauline had her phone on her all day, and you didn’t think to phone me or Matt from it?” You scoff, “You went out for your own meal instead of coming to mine and I told you that you could bring her with you.”

“How was I meant to know when I didn’t know what day it was?”

“Because Matt spoke to you two days before. And I’m fairly certain I texted ‘see you tomorrow’ the day before because we were both back here in Sheffield.” You tell him, not backing down from the eye contact at all. You’re not letting this go now, “It doesn’t matter anyway. This isn’t about my birthday.”

You just want him to believe what you’ve said. You want nothing more.

“No,” Alex’s laugh is venomous, and it lingers as he says, “It’s about you trying to split me and my girlfriend up.”

“I’m not Alex,” You swear, “I just want you to know so you can be cautious.”

Your best friend looks at you and nastily corrects your words, “You want me to know about your lies.”

Your chest sinks, and your eyes search his as you ask, “What lies?”

“Everything you’ve said, Y/N/N!” Alex sounds both upset and hurt as he continues, “She’s just different from how you are, from how we have been.”

“Yeah, we are different. Because I don’t go around taking pictures of you and using your name as a hashtag.” You keep your voice calm as you point out the obvious again, “She’s using you for publicity Alex.”

“No she’s fucking not!” Alex shouts at you now, “She takes pictures because that’s what going out with fucking models involves Y/N.”

“Oh yeah,” You dryly laugh, “And her putting her fucking knickers on your piano whilst you’re playing it to take a picture is normal model behaviour.”

“I don’t recall seeing that done before. Don't think I saw Alexa do that once and she's far bigger than Pauline is.” You make your point harsher than you ever initially wanted to but considering he’s just shouted at you; you don’t give a fuck.

Especially when Alex enrages you by shaking his head like he’s disappointed in you as he states, “You’re just fucking jealous.”

You scoff, “Are you joking right now?”

“No,” Alex goes on, “You’re clearly jealous because I’ve moved on from you and you can’t hold a relationship.”

You’ve never wanted to slap him more in your entire life.

“Wow. Just wow.” You deadpan, before walking closer to him and drilling into him. “You’re so fucking self-centred that you haven’t even fucking realised that I didn’t want to be in a fucking relationship right now, Alex... And don’t try and change the fucking subject, this is about you and your current relationship.”

But your best friend takes no notice. He ignores what you’ve just said and corrects his statement from before, “Well you’re jealous because you can’t shag me again then.”

You laugh. You laugh in disbelief because you don’t know what else to do.

“Alex, I’ve shagged you Hun.” You shake your head, really not believing he has the nerve to even say that, “I’ve been there done that. I certainly don’t need a picture of your hands and my knickers to know I’ve had sex with you.”

You don’t hold back as you continue arguing, “She’s your girlfriend. Every fucker knows you’ve shagged her. She doesn’t need to be posting shit like that to boost her account and her music.”

“She’s not boosting it.” Alex unsurprisingly dismisses you straight away.  

“Alex, are you so behind on technology that you can’t see what she’s doing?” You genuinely wish you could take a peek inside his brain and see which screw had come loose because he’s being a fucking idiot.

“She’s using you to promote herself!” You tell him, raising your voice to try and get it through his thick skull.

But never in your life would you expect Alex to yell back, “Like you do with your art then!”

Your jaw falls open, “You’ve got to be fucking joking?”

“No,” He shakes his head, “You’re the one who designs our stuff so how’s that any different?”

“You’re the fucking one who asked me to design your logos!” You raise your voice with each statement you make, absolutely fuming he has the audacity to say that to you. “You came to me for Favourite Worst Nightmare and looked through the others I made. You kept coming back looking for more for the next albums. You wanted me to do the show posters. You wanted me to do the merch.”

“I’ve never posted all of that on my account.” You’re honestly hurt he would ever think that you use him how Pauline is doing, “I posted your album covers to promote you, not me. I have never ever used you in the way that she’s using you. How dare you say that to me.”

“So you posting pictures of us together on your account isn’t promoting your work then?” Alex backchats, with fire in his eyes.

But you have an answer ready and waiting, “I post them on my private account that a grand total of one hundred people follow.”

But then you seriously ask him, “Is me posting a picture with Adam promoting my work too?”

“That’s different, he's your family.” Alex shakes his head.

“You are my family!” You shout back, “I have never used you Alex. Never. I would never want to and I don’t want to. And if you dare say that you’re the one who gave me my art career you can fuck off out of my life for good.”

It’s the hurt at what he’s just said that’s running through your system now, your eyes almost going glossy as you say, “I’ve sold out at three of my own gallery’s and they had nothing to do with either of your bands or anything to do with music in general. So if you’re even thinking that, you can fuck off.”

“I’m not saying that.” Alex shakes his head, trying to defuse the situation now, “All I’m trying to say is that Pauline’s not using me like you’re trying to get at.”

You push your own hurt away to ask him calmly, “How much have you helped her? Music wise?”

“What?”

You push on, “Answer my question.”

“I don’t have to tell you that.” Alex shakes his head almost acting like he doesn’t want to see you.

“But we both know you will.” You narrow your eyes at him almost like it’s a silent bet.

Alex tells you with a lot of hesitation, “I give her tips on how to make a song better.”

“Have you sat in the studio with her and recorded?” You press on.

“Yeah but-”

You interrupt, “She posted about it?” knowing full well that she has.

“Yeah, but that was to promote the music that she was making. I’m not cred-”

“It doesn’t matter if you’re credited Alex,” You interrupt again, not wanting this to go on for much longer, “That's just taking advantage of you being a nice person.”

Before Alex can even think about a comeback, you move on again to another concern of yours. “She was a fan before she got with you, yeah?”

“Like you were.” Alex narrows his eyes.

Your dry laugh tears through your throat loudly. “Alex, you couldn’t get all of our school friends to come to your gigs when you first got together, so that point is invalid.”

“She’s used the riff in Mad Sounds on one of her songs for a start.” You keep your points coming, “And when she initially got with you, she posted a shit load of you on her and her friend’s stories all the time.”

“Seems like you were paying very close attention to her.” Alex narrows his eyes at you.  

You don’t let what he said phase you. You just give it him straight back, “Because it was being brought to my attention what was happening. And I was trying to tell you in the nicest way I could until you got nasty and started gaslighting me.”

“I’m just defending my girlfriend Y/N.” Alex shakes his head, “You know it’s the respectful thing to do when someone starts on your partner.”

“Oh right, like she was being that respectful toward you and your privacy when you went out to those clubs with her and her mates who didn’t stop filming you all night.” You get another point in, and now after seeing the videos Miles sent you, you can say with confidence, “You looked so uncomfortable, Alex. I’ve never seen you like that when you’re meant to be having fun.”

But your best friend doesn’t see it how you do. “She was just posting videos of us on a fun night now. It wasn’t to get any views or whatever.”

“Alex, she tagged it!” You yell, just wanting to get through to him at this point, “There were Arctic Monkey hashtags and of your name all over the fucking shop. She wants people to know that you are hers.”

“And what? You think that because you and Matty aren’t bum buddies and you're not speaking to him you can come and try to destroy my relationship to get some action out of me?” Alex shouts back at you, his cheeks going pink with anger at this point. She shakes his head, “No Y/N. That’s not how this is going to work. You can’t have everything yourway all the fucking time.”

“This is not about me wanting your dick, Alex! Believe me, I really couldn’t give a fuck!” You’re fucking fuming now, surely he could see just by your reactions to what you were telling him earlier were sincere. You don’t want to be telling him this but you’re just trying to protect him, “This is about me trying to make you understand what you’re clearly not seeing. She’s using you and her friends are too.”

“Classy of you to not only go for her throat but her mates too.” Alex sarcastically applauds.

“Well forgive me,” Your apology is just as thick with sarcasm, “The shit they were posting of you was nasty. You never like being filmed Alex, you never have unless you’re on stage so don’t lie to me and tell me that you felt comfortable with being used for promotion like that.”

The way Alex looks at you then breaks your heart. He raises his eyebrows at you, as if to say ‘like you do’. And you know he means ‘like you do’ with your art and that really upsets you.

Your eyes flood with angry tears that you don’t let fall when you point at him and say, “Don’t give me that look.”

He’s fucking lying to himself at this point and he knows it.

“If you really think that of me, then you can find someone else to make your stuff for next time.” You tell him, but when he shows absolutely no remorse, your decision is set in stone. “In fact, no, you can definitely do that.”  

You walk back towards your lounge where you left your bag and you try to stop yourself from telling any angry tears fall. And thankfully none do as you say, “I’m not being treated like I’ve not been looking out for you for the last thirtyyears… I’m through.” and you start walking towards his front door.

“Fine.” Alex shakes his head, as if not fussed at all but he’s clearly still fuming, “I don’t fucking care.”

When you hear that, you spin back around to look into his eyes and ask seriously, “Do you really think I would lie about someone laughing at the fact that I almost died and make up that someone said my scars lower the price of me, and that her and her friend were laughing saying they would crash a car just to shut me up?”

You can hear all of the emotions you’re holding back in your voice as you simply ask, “Do you really think those are the things I’d come up with to get you to split up with her?”

Alex’s pissed off face doesn’t change. He takes a step closer to you and says, “I think you’ll go to any lengths to get the hold on me you like having because you’re jealous that I’m not dedicating every second to you anymore… It’s pathetic Y/N. Grow up.”

You want to laugh in disbelief. You’re so hurt and pissed off at the entire situation.

“Right, fine.” You scoff, you don’t let his hard gaze break you. You tell him with the same hard tone he used for you. “Nice to know you believe someone you’ve known five months over your best friend who’s known you since you were five years old. We’re fucking through, Alex.”

“Fine!” Your best friend yells and points to his door, “Fuck off Y/N! Get the fuck out!”

You certainly don’t need telling twice. You turn around and start walking as you tell him, “You come and talk to me when you realise exactly what I’ve said is going on, is true. Because I’m not a blind love-struck puppy and you should know better by now.”

“Get out!” Alex shouts pointing to the exit again.

“Happily,” You pull the door open with more force than needed, and you turn back to look at him to say, “I’m not doing this again. When you see Miles, Matt, and the other lads tell them that I’m not doing their dirty work again because it seems like I just lost my best friend in the process.”

Alex spitefully asks, “And whose fault is that hey?”

“Yours.” You say before you slam the door shut.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: Well then... That was a lot! How we feeling? What team are we on? How is everyone going to redeem themselves? How we feeling about a George ending? Let me know what you think is going to happen and I really hope you enjoyed this chapter x 

Thanks so much for reading! x

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[nriacc]

R U Mine? | NRIACC: Part 14 |

Nothing Revealed In A Common Crisis 

Plot by @imagine-that-100 and @ghostlightqueen

Written by @imagine-that-100​

Description: | Here |

Word Count: 19.9k

Warnings: This series contains mature content and themes throughout

A/N: Okay so after the past two devastating weeks, I had to give you something good. Some angst in there for sure but most of it should be a fun read. Really hope you all enjoy x

| Series Masterlist | N’s Masterlist | NRIACC Playlists | The Band’s Info | Read on Wattpad | Read on AO3 |

~*~*~*~ February 19th 2014 ~*~*~*~

“Alex, you better hold my hand.” You tell him, feeling your heart start beating faster as you get closer to the O2.

Your best friend chuckles at you from across the limo, and shaking his head he says, “Stop being a little girl.”

“Alex, I’m being serious.” You tell him, raising your eyebrows so he knows you’re not joking. “All of a sudden these heels don’t feel very stable.”

You pull the long black dress that pools at your feet up a little, revealing your black heels.  

It was Brits night and Alex had asked you to go with him. It took a lot of persuasion on his part considering you really didn’t want to go out, especially this publicly, with him and the other lads.

You wish you could say that since the Ditto incident when Adam, Matty and the other lads came to see you, your life got better.

But you couldn’t.

You wish that you could say that when you told Matty and Adam to show themselves out, that was the last time you cried over Matty.

But that would have been a lie.

The crying continued when Y/B/F came home, and as soon as you hugged each other you broke down again over it all. You’d cried to her about Matty a lot of the time when the Monkeys went away for their first leg of the AM tour.

Y/B/F had never seen you so distraught and the fact that she hadn’t been allowed to leave the tour she was working to come home and see you especially after the accident, made the reunion all the more emotional. You don’t think you’d ever missed her so much in your life.

Both of you cried a lot the first few weeks she was back and it wasn’t always all to do with Matty. You got upset in private quite a lot about your scars these days and you spoke to her a lot about your insecurity to do with that.

Every time you saw the one on your thigh, even if you only saw a little part of it, a lump rose to your throat. You hated it. You hated everything to do with it.

It was just a massive reminder of what you’d been through, and subsequently what Matty had done too. When you and Y/B/F were having a heart to heart one night over a bottle of wine, trying to dull the pain with alcohol, you told her about how you were sure Matty had cheated on you because he must have hated what your body looked like now.

You told her about Matty not looking at you like he used to in the weeks after the accident and how it had really fucked with your self-image and confidence. You’d never felt so insecure in your life.

She obviously told you that couldn’t have been the case and even with the long shot that it was, that Matty wouldn’t have deserved you anyway. But despite her doing her best to convince you that you still looked amazing, you didn’t believe her. And you still believed that Matty had cheated because he didn’t want you anymore.

So, with that mindset, that was why you stayed in Sheffield with your friends for most of Christmas. Usually you would go and spend the day with your Mum, Aunt, Uncle, and Adam in Manchester and the other boys would come round in the evening for some drinks and a games night.

But last year was different.

From December 1st, Adam had been trying to find a way to have a normal Christmas day but in a way which you and Matty wouldn’t have to see each other. After the last time you saw each other in October and after how you told them both to see themselves out, he really wanted to make things as easy for you as possible.

But the one thing you hated about all this messing about with Christmas was the fact that the predicament that you and Matty were in made it so Adam was having to choose between the two of you. And you didn’t want that.

You hadn’t wanted that since the start. Even when you first started seeing him, you were always mindful about Adam and Matty’s friendship changing, and you were beyond thankful it never had.

They still got on like the best of friends that they were and you were overjoyed by that. Silly arguments or rows never got in the way of that, and neither had crossing new boundaries.

Adam had no objections in the slightest to Matty joining your family in the Hann Household the last two Christmases. Your cousin quite liked the fact he could have his mate there the whole day instead of just the evening.

But with everything that had happened this year, Adam being the caring soul that he is, tried to make the both of you happy. But in the end, you couldn’t make him choose.

You made the decision that you were going to be staying in Sheffield for most of the day and you would make your way up to Manchester for the evening. That way you could at least see all of the boys on Christmas and it wouldn’t be that different from usual.

Because it was still the same. You couldn’t avoid Matty forever, and he couldn’t avoid you. You had to start putting yourself in situations where you were going to be okay with each other.

Despite still being silently in love with him, you knew you had to get a grip of your emotions. You obviously weren’t worth fighting for, but the mere exposure to him made you heart ache in want for him.

Even after everything he’d done. You still wanted him. But what you wanted more was for him to want you.

At least the fact you were staying in Sheffield gave you time to prepare yourself to be in his presence again. Broken hearted or not.

Once your friends in Sheffield got wind of what your plans for Christmas were though, they were not having any of it. Y/B/F told you that you were having Christmas Eve night with her and into the morning where you could open your presents with her and her family. After all, they were a second family to you.

But when Alex got back from tour and he found out about this too, he insisted that you would come to his for Christmas dinner. Something you really tried to get out of because you didn’t want to be a burden to anyone's family but your own, which is why you told Y/B/F that you wouldn’t impose yourself when they sat down to eat.

Alex didn’t give a fuck, though. He told you that you weren’t going to make yourself a normal roast dinner in your flat like you originally planned, you were going to his and having dinner with him and his Mum and Dad.

He even got Penny on the phone and made her tell you that you weren’t allowed to eat on your own, you had to come and join them. So, that was how you found yourself eating Christmas dinner at the Turner household.

You’d had a really lovely day and everyone had been so kind to you. Especially Y/B/F and Alex.

Alex had given up a day of drinking because he refused to let you get the train over to Manchester. He was insistent that he was going to drive you over because you’d not yet had your insurance payout so you could get a new car.

You promised that you wouldn’t drink either so you felt less bad about Alex being the kind soul he was. You really don’t know what you’d done to deserve his friendship, but it was definitely appreciated.

You both had a ball in the car on the way over. You were listening to some of your favourite songs from your youth and you both sang along really enjoying yourselves.

Between the singing though, you told him how you were actually excited to spend more time with your family again. Especially your Mum.

Despite everything that had happened at the hospital and in the weeks after, you still missed her a lot when she had to go back away again for work. You were excited to spend the full week with her around again.

And of course, you were excited to see your boys again. It was Christmas after all, and you’d been preparing yourself to see Matty again. You could do this.

You got to Wilmslow at about 8 p.m. and when Alex pulled up outside the Hann’s household, you couldn’t help but smile seeing all the decorations up like usual in your home away from home. You were really eager to get inside and give the presents out, especially the one you got your Mum.

So, when you pulled up to the house you were really keen to get inside.

“You wanna come in for a bit and say hello?” You turn to your best friend and ask him as he pulls the handbrake up.

Alex smiles at you but says, “I don’t want to intrude on your family time, Angel.”

“You’re joking,” You look at him dumbfounded, “I’ve been intruding on you all day. You can come in for a drink.”

“Only if you’re sure.”

“Course I’m sure, now come on.” You tell him as you quickly take off your seatbelt and get yourself out of the vehicle.

After getting your presents for everyone out of the boot of the car, you drag Alex along to the front door. You ring the bell before heading inside as the door was unlocked because they knew you were coming.

“Hey!” You shout as you walk in, and a chorus of hellos and Merry Christmas’ come back to you. You can’t help but smile hearing that all your family and friends are there.

You quickly round the corner into the lounge wanting to see your family sooner rather than later and when you do you greet them with a loud “Merry Christmas”.

You see the lads sat around in different places around the room and your Mum and Uncle were in there too. Your Mum gets up to greet you and you quickly put all your presents down so you can hug her.

“Oh petal, I hope you've had a good day and you’ve been spoiled.” She says as she gives you a tight squeeze.

You give your Uncle a wave, then take in the boys who were sitting on the other settee and some of them were on the floor. Ross and George were on the settee, Adam was on the floor near the window and Matty was on the floor near the Christmas tree.

You smile at them all as you hug your Mum and your eyes linger on Matty. You’re pleased to see him smile back at you warmly and you pretend you don’t feel your heart flutter in your chest.

But you also really try and savour the hug from your Mum, “Oh I have, thank you for my prezzie - I loved it. I can’t wait to give y-”

“Alex,” Your Mum interrupts down your ear, before letting go of you in an attempt to hug him, “It’s lovely to see you, thank you for bringing her over.”

You miss the eye roll that Matty and George share, but Adam doesn't, which is why he discreetly kicks both Matty and George’s ankles. Glares pass between them all, but nothing is said out loud.

You hear your best friend start to tell her, and when you look around at them you see a smile on his face as he says, “Not a problem, it's been a really good day and I didnt mi-”

“You’ll both have to excuse me,” Your Mum interrupts, yet again, “I’ve got an early flight tomorrow so I’m heading back to my flat. I think my taxi just pulled up.”

“Mum, I’ve only just got here.” You say, shock clear in your voice, “You told me you weren’t working until New Year, and you said we were spending the day together tomorrow.”

Both Alex and Matty could hear the hurt in your voice and unfortunately from Matty’s seat on the floor he couldn’t see your face. But he could guess it wasn’t nearly as happy as when you shared a smile a few seconds ago.

Alex could see it though, and it was filled with hurt. Even more so because you’d been telling him in the car how much you wanted to try and get on really good terms with her again. Alex even knew how excited you were to give her the present you picked out for her.

“I know love, but work called and asked if I would fly out, and I get double time so I can treat you to something when I’m next back home over in Sheffield.” Your Mum smiles at you.

You almost plead with her when she pulls you into another hug but this time it's a silent goodbye, “Mum can’t you just wait ten minutes, I really want to give yo-”

“Love you so much! Merry Christmas.” Your Mum pulls away from you and shouts bye to everyone else before breezing out of the door like it was just a flying visit.

You stand there for a second, just processing what just happened and you take a deep breath which everyone sees. You release it shakily but take a moment to look up to the ceiling to try and not let the tears pool like they want to.

Only you. Only you would have this happen. Talking to your best friend in the car about how you were excited to see her and she leaves the first moment you show up.

You look at Alex and you shake your head, anger and sadness bubbles through your system, but you have to let it go for the benefit of the rest of the evening.

“I’m sorry, that was so rude of her.” You tell him, feeling embarrassed that she’d just done that, not letting either of you speak and then just walking out.

Alex shakes his head at you, silently telling you that it’s fine. It wasn’t fine to you though, it was fucking rude.

“I don’t know why I thought this year would be any different. 2013 really does really love to fuck me over, doesn’t it?”

The air in the room was awkward but why wouldn’t it be when your ex, your best friend, your cousin, your Uncle and two of your closest friends just watched your Mum abandon you on Christmas day.

You take a breath before turning to the boys in the room and saying with a little jest, “Hope you all enjoyed spending the day or evening with the wicked witch of the west.”

After they all give you a sad smile, you let the anger dissipate. After all, it is Christmas.

“I’ll go and find my actual Mum now,” You say as you brush past Alex, turning the corner head into the kitchen to find your Aunt, “There she is.”

“Honey!” Your Aunt calls as she hears you shout at her over the Christmas music she was playing.

She pulls you into a tight hug and doesn’t let you go as she coos, “Oh, I’ve missed you soooo much!”

“I’ve missed you more.” You smile, holding her tight as she sways you into the hug.

You hold her for a little longer than usual, needing the hug right now. To try and have an excuse to hold her for a little longer you say, “I invited Alex in for a while, I hope that’s okay.”

“Course it is.” She says before she kisses your cheek and you both release each other from the hug.

She smiles at you and gives you another quick kiss on the cheek before grabbing your hand and pulling you back into the direction of the lounge. Just before you make it in, you see your little suitcase at the bottom of the stairs that Alex had brought in for you. “Oh, just a sec I’ll run my case upstairs.”

You don't make it another foot, though. “Leave it there for now, Sweet. Just come in. I need to give you your presents.” Your Aunt tells you, pulling you into the room.

Alex seems to have made the rounds and said hello to everyone, which you have yet to do. So, as your Aunt sorts your presents out (she’s too good to you), you go around and greet everyone. You go to George and Ross first, you kiss them both on the top of their heads so they don't have to get up and you say ‘Merry Christmas’ to them.

You then decide to go to Matty and do the same, leaning down and kissing the top of his head, so it's not awkward and you're not being weird with him. The only thing you do differently is give his now considerably longer hair a ruffle and say “Merry Christmas, Curly.”

Matty looks up at you after you do this and you can see the sincerity in his eyes when he replies, “Merry Christmas, Wheels.” You swallow away the feelings that bubble in you when you hear him call you that name and you share a little smile before you turn to your cousin.

Looking at Adam, you say, “You can get up and hug me properly or you don’t get your present.”

The boys around you chuckle at that, before your cousin gives in and stands himself up. He gives you the biggest smile as he goes in for the hug.

“Missed you, B.” Adam softly says as his arms wrap around you.

You hug him back tightly and say, “Missed you a hell of a lot more, Bro.”

After a few more seconds you let him go just in time for your Aunt to tell you to sit yourself down beside Alex, who took the open seat beside your uncle. You do as you're told, but you’re sort of squished against him because it’s only a two seater settee.

“What’ve you got today?” Your Uncle asks you after you give him a side hug.  

“Oh,Y/B/F got me a gift basket of all her new favourite treats that she found on her travels and she got me this Blur hoodie that's from their first tour,” You grin, not being able to stop smiling at the memories from today. “The lads all got me some more art supplies which they usually get me. And as you could quite clearly see from before, my Mum added to my abandonment issues.”

“Please tell me she didn’t just leave.” Your Aunt says, looking at you dead in your eye.

You press your lips together after you say, “Wouldn’t even let me give her the present I got her.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N/N.” She tells you and you can see that she genuinely feels bad for you, along with everyone else in the room.

You shake your head, leaning yourself into Alex a little more as you say, “Don’t be. I’d rather you have it and appreciate it anyway. And I should be used to her leaving by now, shouldn’t I..? But in better news,”

“Al,” You nudge his shoulder as you explain, “Got me Julian Casablancas' signature on a LP of Is This It - I'm certain I passed away when I opened it. And he got me a bracelet with a lyric engraved onto the inside of it.” You grin like an idiot looking at him and he smiles back at you.

You’d been spoiled rotten. Mostly by your best friends and it was just another reason why you were all the more grateful for the both of them.

“What lyrics?” Adam asks you curiously and his Mum looks at you expectantly wanting to know too.

You smile but shake your head and tap your nose, “Secret. We’re the only ones who know.”

You hear your best friend chuckle a little at that, and you can’t keep the smile off your own face. The fact that you’d technically told them, but also kept it just to the two of you, made you happy.

You didn’t need people drawing conclusions about the lyric in question. You just told Alex in passing the other month how much you actually did love the song that he wrote about the both of you and how much you did appreciate it back in the day.

The song was definitely one that you’d fallen in love with again. Obviously, you didn’t have the same attachment to it as you once did, but you did love it. And you adored the bracelet just as much.

Matty wants to throw a fucking brick at Alex though. Of fucking course he would get you a gift from Julian Casablancas, of all people, that was practically priceless. How the fuck was anyone else meant to compete with that shit? And Matty was willing to bet his flat that the lyric on your bracelet was one Alex had once written about you.

Your Aunt’s eyes go wide as she looks from you to your best friend, “Well, I hope she treated you just as well, Alex.”

“Course she did,” Alex smiles, looking at you before looking back at your Aunt, “She got me this skull bracelet which I’ve had my eye on for ages, and she got me some new leather journals for lyrics and what not.”

“You’re a Gooden.” Your Uncle nudges you and you can’t help but smile.  

“Well, I know my best friend, what can I say?” You smile before resting your head on Alex’s shoulder for a second as a silent thank you for everything.

You then ask Adam what he’d received for the day and you all slip into an easy conversation. However, you keep on having to silently scorn yourself, because you catch yourself glancing at Matty a lot.

He looks really good today, much better than the last time you’d seen him. His hair was a little longer on top now and it fell into nice waves.

The dark flowery shirt that he was wearing hung from him in a very pleasing way and you could see his tattoo for Annie peeking out of the top where the buttons weren’t done up all the way. And of course he had those black skinny jeans on with one knee ripped open.

You wanted nothing more than to be sat in his arms feeling loved like you felt last Christmas, even when your Mum left early last year it didn’t make you feel as empty, because he was there with you. You had Matty to comfort you.

Now you didn’t and when that notion hit you again, you grabbed Alex’s hand for the extra comfort his presence had been giving you when you got sad about Matty again. You felt your best friend squeeze your hand as you all carried on chatting away. You gave his hand a squeeze back to assure him that you were okay.

And you were, you just needed to get out of your head.

Matty needed to do the same too, because when you eventually spoke up when Adam asked you if you wanted a glass of wine, Matty saw that your hand was in Alex’s. It gave Matty a really dirty feeling inside, which he wasn’t sure was all purely anger or jealousy, but he didn’t like it.

You weren’t his anymore and despite Adam telling him a lot that nothing was going on between you two, Matty had a hard time believing it. You looked happy when you spoke to Alex or when he appeared in a room with you and you were always close.

Too close for Matty’s liking.

“Drink, Alex?” Adam asks your best friend, waving an empty bottle of Budweiser in his direction.

“Erm,” Alex hesitates, “I probably shouldn’t, gotta drive back.”

“You can stick around for a bit, you know. Or is she banishing you home?” Adam chuckles at your best friend.  

“No,” You shake your head, and look around to Alex, “You can stay as long as you want. Stay the night if you want to have a proper drink, but you don’t have to. I've disrupted enough of your day.”

All Matty can think then is, ‘Oh, so now you are offering him our bed.’ He couldn’t get yours and Alex’s history out of his head, and the fact you'd offered to let him stay pissed Matty off royally.

Even more so when Alex, coos to you, “You’ve not disrupted anything, stop it.”

Your best friend looks back at Adam and says, “I’ll have one and stick around for a little bit, if that's alright with you.”

Your family and you tell him that it’s fine and Adam comes back with a glass of wine for you and a bottle of Budweiser for Alex and himself.

“I’ll have another one please, Hann.” Matty says just as your cousin’s about to sit back down.

Adam sticks two fingers up at him and says, “You practically live here, get your own.”

You chuckle at the exchange seeing that nothing has changed.

You get loads of Christmas presents coming your way in the next half an hour. Your Aunt and Uncle spoiled you like they always do, and Adam did too. The other lads always got you bits and bobs that they knew would make you smile, but when it came around to Matty it actually shocked you that he got you something.

His gifts weren’t overboard like there had been previous years, for obvious reasons, but you loved them nevertheless. He got you the perfume that he’d started buying you years before you’d even got together, and it was a classic present that you loved that he always got you.

Unwrapping the second gift though, you couldn’t help but let out a laugh as you saw yet another set of coloured wheels for your skateboard. You shake your head, chuckling, “I hate you.”

“It’s your nickname, can’t let it die.” Matty smiles as he watches you unwrap the teal wheels.

“Well, I appreciate it. Thank you.” You smile at him, before you lean back beside your best friend. You grab Alex’s hand again and with your other you gesture to the rest of the room, “Now you lot open your stuff.”

They all did as they were told and opened their gifts - and you were pleased to see good reactions. You tried not to focus on Matty too much, knowing your gift really overstepped what you were to each other these days.

But your cousin thankfully distracted you with his reaction to one of your many presents. “You really got me these? You’re vile, Y/N.”

You laugh when you see him hold up the box of flavoured condoms that you’d wrapped up and given him. When your Aunt and Uncle saw what you’d bought, they laughed too. You saw George trying to hold back laughter too, which made you giggle more.

Alex was sniggering beside you and the other lads had smiles on their faces as they paused opening their presents.

“Just making sure I’m not going to be a God Mum anytime soon. I don’t need to be called ‘Auntie Y/N’ yet.” You smile, and teasingly add, “Plus, it’s like a joint present for you and Y/B/F.”

“Yeah, Hann. Don’t be silly, wrap your willy.” George smirks at him and you can’t help but laugh loudly.

Adam looked like he wanted to die on the spot. He sighs, “Don’t give me that shit in front of my Mum and Dad.”

“Oh, yeah, because you were so considerate last year.” You shake your head at him.

The lads started laughing then, but Alex glances at you and raises his eyebrow. You then explain, “Adam thought it would be comical to give me and Matty a joint gift of a bright pink strap-on at nine in the morning in front of his Mum and Dad. Was mortifying.”

Alex starts silently chuckling and he looks back to your cousin and laughs, “Well played.”

“Send you the video of the reaction later mate.” Adam chuckles before reaching for his next present.

Before you have a chance to object, Matty draws your attention by saying, “I can’t take this from you, Y/N.”

All eyes fall on him then and you can see that he’s holding your presents. You got him two Daniel Johnston tapes that had been on his wishlist for god knows how long. They were really expensive, but money doesn’t really become an object when you’re in love with someone.

But you also designed him a skateboard and he was holding that in his arms too.

It had taken you weeks to get it perfect earlier in the year. Originally, you wanted to give it to him for his birthday, but it was nowhere near complete when that came around. To give it to him on Christmas had been the plan for months before the accident, or before he cheated on you.

You painted the entire deck to precision. It was mostly a dark board, but you used lighter colours for the decoration. A few red roses cover the board and a few teal ones too, along with streaks making it more vibrant. But the most eye-catching part of it is the white box that lies in the centre of it.

You added little details of your relationship into it too. You bought an engraving tool and etched ‘Curly & Wheels’ onto the outside of each of the white wheels before painting inside the engraving so it was easy to see. Now, after everything, it hurts you when you find it sitting in your spare room, so you’re pleased that it’s no longer your burden.

That in itself hurts though, because you do love it. You put your heart and soul into making it and it made every single one of the hours you spent on it worth it. But you can’t take it back with you.

“Well, I’m not taking them home with me.” You deadpan, your whole body feeling a little weird having all of his attention after not having it for so long.  

“I can’t,” Matty shakes his head, looking you dead in the eye and holding them out for you to take back.

You shake your head softly and sink back into the settee, “You can and you will.” You hold Alex’s hand a little tighter when you continue, “I made the skateboard months ago and I had the tapes made for you after your birthday, so you’re going to take them.”

But he couldn’t take these from you. Matty can see just how much effort you’ve put into the skateboard and he knows how expensive the tapes are. And the fact that you’d gone out of your way to get these for him, whenever it may have been, felt like a punch in the gut. Matty knew that he didn’t deserve these. Not from you.

“Y/N I-”

“Matty, just take them. Please.” You interrupt and end it like that.

Matty can see you’re not going to take the gifts back from him, so he looks at the expensive and meaningful items and then back to you before softly saying, “Thank you, Y/N.”

You softly smile back, “You're welcome.”

Being unable to hold his gaze without your heart hurting becomes difficult, so you look away from those brown eyes you adore and glance to Ross and George opening their stuff. You were thrilled everyone seemed to really like their presents and you were glad nothing really seemed that different with you and Matty not being together anymore and with Alex joining you all too.

You happily sat there drinking your wine and when you returned from the kitchen with a large second glass of it in your hand, you sat yourself beside your best friend again and fell into a conversation with him. After a little while you tucked yourself under his arm so you could chat about something irrelevant to anyone else but the two of you.

Matty doesn’t like to see the two of you like that, as it keeps those ideas of the two of you in his mind. But the fact that he’d not seen you this happy in a long time makes him bite his tongue. Despite Alex infuriating him in every way possible, when it comes to you, you deserve to be happy.

After you finish your second glass of wine, you start to feel a little tipsy, which you’re not that shocked by. You hadn’t drank in quite a while, so it wasn’t much of a surprise it all went straight to your head.

“Imma go to the loo and put my stuff upstairs.” You quietly tell your Uncle, not wanting to disturb the guy's conversations, as you get yourself up from between him and Alex.

You had no doubt your Aunt would come back from the kitchen and wonder where you’d gone, so it was easier to tell someone where you were off. You silently slipped yourself out of the room after that, grabbed your case at the bottom of the stairs and brought it up.

After putting the case in your room without a second glance, you went to the toilet and you decided that you’d quickly unpack your stuff whilst you were up here. You only brought a few things with you and it wouldn’t take more than five minutes to sort your stuff out.

But when you got into your room, you noticed that a single present lay on your bed. It drew your eye immediately, knocking the rest of the room out of focus when you saw your name in Matty’s handwriting on the shiny red wrapping paper.

You were glad you closed your door when you walked in, because you were certain you’d need this moment in private. It was hard enough receiving the present from him downstairs, and with that being a comic relief present, you were half certain that this wouldn’t be.

Why else would he leave it in your room for you to find in private?

You take a deep breath as you pick the small rectangular present up and slowly strip away the red wrapping. You’re greeted with a white box that looks like it contains jewellery. You find yourself holding your breath as you remove the lid.

As you do, you see a folded up slip of paper above what appeared to be silver jewellery. You open it with shaking fingers.

I’ve wanted to give you this for a while and couldn’t bring myself not to. Hope you like it, Sweetheart x

A lump immediately forms in your throat and you find it difficult to keep tears at bay as you move the note to the side. The moment you do, you’re greeted with a slim silver necklace with a short silver bar attached which has 102engraved along the side of it.

You couldn’t keep your tears at bay then. It completely broke you and as you tried to keep your gaze on it, tears filled your eyes and fell.

Your heart hurts so much and in so many different ways. You want to go downstairs and kiss him and thank him, but he doesn’t want you anymore. He would have fought for you if he wanted you - and he didn’t.

It also pained you because you knew that was true, yet he had given you a gift like this so personal and with so much meaning. He’d written 102 about you. It was his song about him longing for you for years.

You loved it with all your heart and the fact he conveyed his emotions so perfectly in the song almost upset you when you listened to it, knowing it was about you. It made you wish that you’d grown up with him properly in Manchester and that you were the same age as him so you could have always been together.

It pained you that you weren’t his anymore. You wanted the numb feeling to wash over you already, but after five minutes it was just overwhelming sadness that you felt. And it only got worse when you glanced around your room.

Looking around seeing all your old memories hurt more than you could put into words. You had pictures of the two of you all around.  

Taking the pictures of the two of you down in your flat hurt a lot, but Y/B/F assured you that it would help you in the long run, and she was right. It had been helping a little, but quite a lot of the time you pulled the box out of your wardrobe where you’d hidden them all and looked back at your memories.

Seeing the ones here felt even more personal though, because you fell in love with him properly here in Manchester. And seeing the photobooth pictures of the two of you kissing at that fairground stuck on your wall hurt a lot too, after all, that was practically your first date.

It hurt because you were still in love with him and he’d betrayed your trust so badly when you needed him most.

The more you thought about it, the more it upset you, and before you knew it you’d started scrambling pictures down from your wall until none of the two of you remained up. You just stacked them facedown on an empty bookshelf.

You don’t know how long you sat and cried for, but it was long enough for you to be shouted back downstairs.

You hear your Aunt shout up the stairs, “Y/N/N, Honey do you want anything to eat?”

“No, thank you.” You shout back in the best normal voice you can manage despite the tears still flowing.

“Are you sure? I’ve saved you a piece of chocolate fudge cake.” Is her reply and you really have to try not break down completely.

You choke back your cries and say as normally as possible, “I’ll be down in a minute.”

You need to get a grip of yourself, it was Christmas for fuck sake. You didn’t want to ruin everyone’s day.

You pulled off your new Blur hoodie, leaving you in a vest top, as the hoodie was now darkened at the cuffs from the tears you’d been wiping away. Panic rose through you, as you saw the scars littering your shaking hand though. You forced yourself to take a few good deep breaths to try and calm yourself down.

“Honey?” Your Aunt shocked you with, upon slowly entering your room after hearing your cries from outside.  

You just looked up at her and you could feel more tears spring to your eyes seeing her sad sympathetic smile. You let them fall as you say, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

Your Aunt just shakes her head and after closing the door she rushes over to you, trapping you in a hug. After a few minutes sobbing in her arms and holding you tightly, you just about get another apology out.

“Please stop apologising, Honey. It’s okay.” She soothes you, and you cry into her shoulder as she rubs your back slowly.

It wasn’t though, it was Christmas when everyone was meant to be happy. And you were in your room sobbing.

After she managed to calm you down a little bit and you weren’t clutching her anymore, you apologise again before saying, “I just don’t think I can stay here for long. I love you, but I just can’t be here.”

She hazards a guess, noting all of the now absent pictures, when she reaches for a tissue from your bedside table, “Too many memories?”

“Yeah,” You nod, wiping more tears away with the tissue now, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Your Aunt says, tucking your hair behind your ear before she softly adds, “None of this is your fault.”

You swallow the lump in your throat and a cold feeling washes over you when you ask, “Did Adam tell you?”

She nods, “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry,” You shake your head, “I didn’t want you to know.”

And you really didn’t want her, your Uncle, or your Mum to know that Matty cheated on you. After everything at the hospital, you didn’t want them to dislike him more than they already may have done. You dread to think what your Mum would have been like with him today.

“If you think of me as your Mum, Honey, I should know these things,” Your Aunt tells you, wiping more tears away with her tissue she got for you.  

You shake your head, “But you practically raised him, too. I don’t want your relationship with him to change because he hurt me.”

“I wouldn’t have raised him to do that to you,” You Aunt tells you honestly, “Denise didn’t either. She’s fuming.”

“I know,” You chuckle a little, “She’s called me a few times.”

You take a few deep breaths as your Aunt tells you, “You don’t have to worry about me being rude to him. You know I’m not that sort of person. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not impressed with him, but I wouldn’t exclude him when I know it would just make it harder on you and Ad.”

You nod at that, appreciating her reaction. You do however, shakily say after a moment's silence, “I want it to stop hurting all the time. All I ever do is cry.”

“Y/N, you’ve had your heart broken, that isn’t the easiest of fixes.” She says, giving you a new tissue. “Especially after what he did.”

Whilst you wipe your tears away, you nod knowing she’s right. You ask, “You want to know something funny?” and your Aunt just lets you tell her in your own time.

“I still love him.” You say in a soft but utterly broken voice, “And if that doesn’t make me the biggest moron in the world, I don’t know what does.”

“You’re not a moron, you’re too kind for your own good.” She softly smiles.

“Kind?”

“You forgive people when they hurt you the worst. It’s something I admire about you, you’re so strong.” She tells you and you can see she's being sincere.

You say as more tears spring to your eyes, “I’m not strong or forgiving.”

“You are the strongest person I know.” She says honestly, “Look at you, you’re walking around as if nothing ever happened and you gave him a present.”

“Did you not see me sink back to Alex when I gave him that?” You sigh wishing you could have one of his hugs right now.

Your Aunt stuns you into silence when she says, “Alex is just more proof that you have a good heart.”

You raise an eyebrow at her, not understanding where she was coming from with that. And your blood runs cold when she tells you.

“You think I don’t know that he’s the one who upset you that year you came in December?” She sees your eyes go wide, clearly shocked, so she explains, “Y/N, Honey, I knew you were away with his band and your Mum told me how smitten you were with him before you left. So, I put two and two together that he was the one who upset you.”

After swallowing away an uneasy feeling you ask, “Did Adam tell you what happened then too?”

“No,” She shakes her head, “I still don’t know exactly what happened back then, I just know he broke your heart... I promise you, your cousin has your back no matter what. This with Matty was just eating him away, so I made him tell me what was bothering him. You should see him now when Matty annoys him.”

“I don’t want him to choose between us.”

“I know, but he’s there for you through good and bad, Y/N/N.”

You nod silently, wiping the tears that haven't stopped streaming quite yet. At least they were slowing. But you get an overwhelming feeling that just makes you want to spill everything that you’re feeling to your Aunt here and now.

“Can I just say something out loud?” You ask her. She nods at you, now holding your hand tightly in an attempt to comfort you, but give you the space you crave.

“I hate that I’m not worth fighting for.” You just about choke out, “Because I’d go through hell and back for him, but I’m not even worth grovelling over to try and win back.”

Before she has a chance to respond though, you carry on to say, “I guess it makes sense though, he cheated because he didn’t want to be with me anymore, so why would he try and win me back? Not exactly the same person I was before the accident.”

“Y/N,” Your Aunt shakes her head, “Don’t think like that.”

“How else am I meant to think?” You question.

“I’m all for him.” You bare your soul out to her, “I’d do anything for him. I wanted to marry him and grow old with him. He was my everything and I have nothing now.”

“Hey, that’s not true.” She shakes her head, and she worriedly makes sure to list the people that love you so much. “You have all of us, you have Adam, you have the other boys, and you have the Monkeys. You have Y/B/F. You have Alex. You have so much Darling.”

You shake your head, “But I don’t have him.”

You feel suffocated by the silence that hangs in the room then. It pains you because she can’t tell you in good faith that you still have Matty too, because you obviously don’t have him in the way that you want to. It hurts your Aunt to see you in so much pain like this.

You deserve so much more than to be crying on Christmas day.

“Sorry,” You sniffle before standing up, “I need some air.”

You wipe your eyes and go downstairs needing to will yourself to stop crying and stop shaking. You manage to stop the tears temporarily when you come back into the lounge.

You note that your Uncle must have gone into the kitchen because he no longer sat near Alex, and you made sure that your hair hung over your face so none of the other boys in the room could see you. You felt tears threatening to rise back up as you heard Matty’s laugh echo through the room.

The boys and Alex were chuckling about something with each other, when you go to Alex's jacket that was lying on the arm of the settee. Alex continues chuckling at what Ross just told him, but his gaze flicks to you fumbling with his jacket.

Alex had no issue at all if you wanted to wear it, but after looking at your shaking hands and watching as they revealed his pack of cigarettes his eyes went wide. You’d quit. You hadn’t touched a cigarette since July and you’d swore off them because you’d told him you weren’t doing anything to make your scars worse.

So, seeing you pull them out along with his lighter made Alex instantly stop laughing and look up at you. But when he does, his face falls, seeing the pain clear on your features.

You’d been crying and practically still were.  

“What are yo-” He begins to ask but you stop him.  

You just shake your head and grab the cigarettes and his lighter out of his pocket. As soon as you have them, you head out of the back door.

“Angel, wait a second.” Alex says going to get up quickly, but he doesn’t even make it out of his seat.

“Just give me a minute please.” You say as you head towards the kitchen to go into the garden.

As you disappear round the corner, everyone hears your Aunt try to get your attention again, “Y/N/N,” but they all just hear the back door close.

Alex can see your Aunt standing by the door and when she makes eye contact with him, Alex can see that she has tears in her eyes. When she sees the worried look on Alex’s face, she walks into the room and everyone can see that she’s clearly upset.

“Mum,” Adam says, standing up and going over to her immediately. “What’s happened?”

“Her room. I didn’t know if she wanted everything left as it was, so I didn’t touch it. She’s taken everything down.” Your Aunt sniffles and both Alex’s and Matty’s stomachs drop.

Alex’s does because he knows that if you're upset over Matty that it’ll probably have ruined your Christmas and he knew how much you’d been preparing yourself for today. That was the reason why he’d stuck around a little longer. So that he could make sure you were okay.

Matty’s does because he knows now that he’s upset you again, and he knows it will have been your other gift that has done it. He didn’t want to upset you with it at all, it was meant to silently show you that he really did still care even if you weren’t talking as often.

What leaves everyone, apart from Alex, stunned into silence is the words that next leave your Aunt’s mouth. She looks at Matty with teary eyes and tells him, “She’s still in love with you.”

Alex studies Matty’s reaction to the information that Alex obviously already knew. And he is not pleased with the reaction.

Matty just stares back at your Aunt silently for a good few seconds, before gulping and looking at his other friends. No one gives him anything back and it pisses Alex off massively when all Matty can say is, “I don’t know what to say.”

Alex shakes his head angrily at the man sat on the ground, and mutters for everyone to hear “Course you fucking don’t.”

Alex stands up then and rushes after you, leaving everyone else in the lounge. He was seething at your ex.

Matty literally had everything he could have wanted in a relationship with you and he had fucked it completely, the worst way anyone could. And even now when you so clearly still had feelings for him, Matty didn’t have the balls to say anything.

It pained Alex daily to see you so upset about your situation, and the fact that Matty didn’t appreciate your love for him after everything, really fucked Alex off. You deserve so much better.

Alex quickly goes through the kitchen until he sees the french doors which lead to the garden. When he gets outside, Alex sees you sitting on the ground curled up. You’re hugging your knees with one hand whilst the other shakily brings the cigarette up to your trembling lips.

The sight of you sat there crying hurt Alex’s heart a lot more than it ever had before. You shouldn’t be this upset on Christmas day.

“Angel,” Alex says softly as he comes over.

Glancing up at him, you feel more tears spring to your eyes because of all the emotions running through your system. The overwhelming sadness that had taken over your body wouldn’t let you calm down and the nicotine once again entering your system wasn’t really helping the way you thought it would.

Alex comes and kneels down beside you and just pulls you into a hug. He knows by now that when you get like this, you just need to get your emotions out and he doesn't mind helping you through it.

He’s your best friend. It was the least he could do.

You abandon the half smoked cigarette and just wrap your arms around your best friend. You just cry into him for a good five minutes and you find that he’s bringing you just as much, if not more, comfort than your Aunt did inside.

When you calm down a little, you manage to say, “I’m so sorry, Al.”

“Don’t apologise for anything, it’s okay. You’re okay.” Alex soothes you as you slowly calm down.

“No, I really am sorry. I thought I’d be okay. I didn’t want you to have to deal with my shit again, especially today.” You say as you pull away from the hug to wipe your eyes.

Alex tells you sincerely, as he wipes away a few tears for you, “I’m here for you regardless of what day it is, Angel.”

After a few more minutes outside, Alex notes that you’re beginning to shake from the cold and so he coaxes you to come back inside. It wasn’t a surprise given that it was the middle of winter at 0°C and you only had a vest top on your upper body.

Once you manage to get the tears to stop, you slowly go back inside knowing it was going to be awkward now everyone knew you were upset. You hated that everyone would change around you now, which is why when you headed back into the lounge, you held onto Alex’s hand.

But when you step foot back into the room, you notice that your Uncle had reappeared and everyone was now on their feet. All except for one person, because he wasn’t in the room anymore.

“Where’s he gone?” You ask quickly, your eyes scanning around the boys to see if he was behind one of them, but he was nowhere in sight.  

“He left.” Adam tells you softly.

You felt sick when you heard that, which is why you were unable to say anything other than,

“What?”

Your cousin reiterates, “He left a minute ago.”

Your hand slips out of Alex’s then and before you even know what you’re doing, you’re headed to the front door.

“Y/N,” You hear Alex and Adam say simultaneously, but you don’t pay them any attention.

As you reach for the door handle, you just say as you glance over your shoulder at your best friend and your cousin who were about to follow or stop you, “Just stay there. All of you.”

You’re out of the room within seconds and you start to jog as fast as you can manage in the direction you knew he walked home in. It pained you even more that he left, you didn’t want him to go.

After jogging across the road and up round a corner you shout, “Matty,” in hopes that he’s not too far ahead of you.

Unfortunately, you don’t see him ahead of you there. You jog half-way up the road to the alleyway which you know he uses most of the time to get home faster. Once you reach it, you feel pure relief when you see the leather clad boy walking towards the end of the alley with his skateboard in his hand.

“Matty!” You shout at him, “Oi!”

It’s a relief to you that he actually does stop and you walk towards him to catch your breath as he turns to face you. He looks gorgeous under the street lights, the orange light it emitted made his skin look flawless like it typically was.

It was unfair really, seeing something so beautiful hidden in a dingy alleyway. But you guess that it just made you the lucky one to be able to witness him like this. However, that did not mean you were okay with him walking out.

When you’re a few meters away from him, you say with anger laced in your voice,

“You do not get to do that. You’re not leaving me on Christmas. My Mum is not the person you should be taking an example from.”

“Please just let me go home, Wheels.” Matty almost pleads as he avoids your gaze and takes a couple more steps towards the end of the pathway.

“No, Matty. Just stop walking away.” You shout, walking the tiniest bit faster so you could put your hand on his shoulder to stop him and make him look back at you.

Matty reluctantly does so, and for a second you’re both just standing there staring at each other. So many emotions were running through you that you didn’t know where to begin.

But Matty knew what he needed to say. It really unsettled him seeing your features up close again after you’d just been so upset.

Your eyes were watery and a little swollen. You looked tired and Matty didn’t like knowing he was the cause of your misery.

“The last thing I wanted to do today was upset you.” Matty speaks up first, “And you’ve been crying. Because of me... Again.”

“I don't care.” You tell him, still a little anger present in your tone, “You’ve come here every Christmas night since you were, what? Seventeen? You’re not changing that now.”

“I-” Matty starts but you interrupt him before he can get anything else out.

“Stop trying to argue with me and just come back,” You instruct, looking into his brown eyes seriously.

“I don’t want to upset you, Y/N.” Matty tells you, “I didn't want to give you that to upset you.”

You know he’s talking about the necklace that he left on your bed. And your heart swells and hurts simultaneously when you think about it. But that wasn’t the important thing right now - getting Matty back was.

“You’ll upset me more if you leave again.” You say and Matty can see that you’re serious.

It pains him because he was just trying to spare your feelings by removing himself from the equation. He couldn’t do right for doing wrong, either way there was a down side.

So, Matty takes a second before softly explaining, “I was leaving to try and make things easier for you.”

From just looking into those brown eyes that you adore, you could tell he was being genuine when he said that. You felt the need to speak your truth considering he had the decency to do the same for you.

You tell Matty in a rather vulnerable voice, “You walking out does not make anything easier, it makes me feel worse.”

You see hurt come across his features then and that was the last thing you wanted. So, you just end up rambling things that were on your mind to him.

“I want us to be able to have a laugh again, Matty. I want us to be normal with each other. I’m sorry about being upset, and I-”

“You don’t need to be sorry, Y/N.” Matty interrupts, shaking his head.

“Well, I am,” You admit, “Everything got a bit much and I know it's me that has to work that shit out but I’m trying... You promised me that for Adam’s sake we would try.”

Matty looks down to the ground at that point and you wish that you could know what he was thinking at that moment. When he looks back up at you a second later he nods, “I know, Wheels.”

“Then please come back and let me try again,” You softly beg, “Please.”

Matty nods at you softly then, “Okay,” and after seeing your Y/E/C eyes lose the tiniest bit of sadness he could tell that they held, he pulled you into a hug.

You didn’t stop the gesture, if anything you craved it. Your arms wrapped around his back and you hid your face into his neck like old times. The only thing that added to the already slightly overwhelming moment was when Matty whispered, “But you’re not allowed to be sad on Christmas day, Wheels.”

You chuckle a little at that and nod into his neck, the familiar aftershave he wore throwing you back to when you were in his arms like this all the time. It was no surprise that you couldn’t help but whisper back, “Thank you, for the necklace. Really.”

“Anything for you, Sweetheart.”

Christmas night was alright after that. Matty came back with you and you all had a good night. Alex stayed for another hour or two to make sure you were alright and you were really thankful that he did that, because you stayed glued to his side for the remainder of the evening.

You only stayed up another hour after that before you called it a night and went to bed early. And it was comical really that you thought Christmas was bad, when in reality a week later you were back home, having an evening in with Alex when you got a call from Adam apologising profusely to you.

It was about two extra songs that appeared on the deluxe album that dropped on New Years Day. Apparently Adam didn’t know about them or give approval, but by the time he noticed, the album was out. So, along with all the EP’s songs being on the album too, a further two were added.

And they were about you. Needless to say the songs Head.Cars.Bending. and Me were about you, and your reaction to them made everything pleasant about Matty at Christmas fall away. They really hurt, and it was once again Alex and Y/B/F who had to pick up the pieces.

So, after your rough run of the last six months, when the Monkeys got their Brits invite, you were the obvious person for Alex to ask to join him. After all, you deserved to be pampered and spoiled and if Alex could get away with doing that, he would. When you agreed to go with him, Alex was really pleased.

“I feel like I’m going to prom again,” Breana chuckles, picking her head up from Matt’s shoulder, “Any of you feel the same?”

“No, we never had a prom.” You shake your head and grin, “The last school party that I remember was our year six school disco. After that it was just piss ups at Matt's house in high school.”

“How do you remember shit like that from primary school?” Alex questions, looking at you like you’re some sort of magical being who could pull memories out of thin air.  

“The same way I remember the order of your song lyrics, yet you don’t despite them being your songs and you being Shakespeare.” You joke with a knowing grin.

Alex narrows his eyes at you, “I’ll let you walk on your own.”

“Don’t you fucking dare.” You frown at him and playfully kick his shin.

Alex grins at you as you playfully act standoffish with him. You looked stunning this evening, but what made Alex happier was that you were happy and excited for what seemed like the first time in a long time.

And Alex really hoped that you would take him up on his offer to join him and the band on tour this year. He didn’t want you on your own for half the year again, especially when this time you wouldn’t have Adam either, what with him being on his own tour.

You still hadn’t given him an answer, but you’d promised him you’d think about it.

You could feel your heart pounding as you got closer to the O2. You're a little nervous to say the least. You’d never been someone's date or plus one at an event like this, so the unknown was a little daunting.

And when the time came for you all to get out of the car as you pulled up to the red carpet, Alex could sense this. The two of you were the last in the fancy limo and just before Alex stepped out of the car he took your hand.

“Deep breath, Angel. You’ll do fine,” Your best friend smiles at you as he kisses the back of your hand quickly.  

You do as he says, before smiling at him and joking back, “Better hope so.”

Alex keeps a hold of your hand and helps you out of the car, which you’re grateful for as you had to make sure you didn’t trip over your designer dress. Bright flashes filled your view as you got out of the car and it was a little overwhelming, especially with people now shouting your best friend’s name too.

But Alex seems more focused on you. He draws all of your attention as he leans in as if it’s just the two of you standing here to tell you, “You look so stunning, Angel."

You were wearing an expensive black dress that flowed down all the way to your toes that had been painted the same colour. If you didn’t have your open toed heels on, you were certain that you wouldn’t be able to move in the dress, because there would have been too much material to kick forward.

It was a designer dress that had been tailored to you. Most of you were in black, because that was the band's signature look for the moment.

AM was probably the biggest record in the world right now, so there was no way that you were all going in anything but black tonight. Jamie was one of rebels going against wearing black, because he loved to make a point and Matt had also deviated.

Obviously though because you were Alex’s ‘date’ for the evening, that meant that they had to match you to him. He had a prominent silver necklace on, which acted as a little break from the whole black look, and it meant that your accessories and makeup matched both that and his Death Ramps ring.

You had a silver metal belt that wrapped around your waist to try and give your dress some colour. You also had on the silver bracelet that Alex gave you for Christmas, still keeping the lyrics inside it hidden away.

Your earnings were small ones, but they were also silver. Everything complimented the silver of your Death Ramps ring too.

The makeup that you wore combined both the black and the silver. They had put a lovely subtle silver eyeshadow on you, but the sharp winged eyeliner that the makeup artist somehow perfected in less than two minutes was astounding.

You felt pretty for the first time in a very long time, so you were actually glad that you’d given in and agreed to accompany him.

You release a shaky breath as you look into your best friend's brown eyes, “Don’t let me fall, please.” Your heels really didn’t feel as stable as they did back at the hotel, and you feel like your legs are turning into jelly.  

But your best friend assures you as he wraps an arm around you, “Never.”

As you’re waiting for your friends in front of you to have their couples pictures taken, you’re clutching your best friend for what feels like dear life. You truly needed to settle down because you weren’t going to make it through the night without having a heart attack if not.

You just needed to make it down this red carpet and then you’d be fine. You at least hoped that the sick feeling in your stomach would leave you then, and you’re half sure that feeling was down to professional photographers possibly getting a HD photo of your scarred hand that was on show.

Knowing full well that you need to learn to live with it, you try your best to just ignore the anxiety that it fills you with. You’re just going to make sure that it was the arm that you kept around Alex’s back for most of the evening.

“Are you gonna smile for your pictures tonight?” You ask him whilst you’re standing waiting for Matt and Breana to finish their pictures.

Alex gives you a questioning look, “Why would I smile when I don’t like anyone who I’m looking at?”

“Alex,” You sigh, “I don’t wanna be smiling in all these pictures and you standing next to me looking like you wanna go home.”

“I could just take you home instead?” Alex teases, raising a suggestive eyebrow at you, which makes you giggle.

Since these sorts of jokes had made a reappearance in your life, you quite enjoyed them. You know they’re innocent, despite their suggestive nature, but it once again felt like old times. The flirting between you had been going on since you first slept together and only died off when either of you were with someone.

But the fact that he was flirting with you again, made you appreciate Alex more, because he hadn’t changed around you like everyone else had. He was still being the same old Alex, treating you like you hadn’t been through a really bad car accident, which is what you craved.

Everyone else was treating you like you were a fragile object that could break at any second - and you didn’t want that. If anything, you just wanted to forget about it and move on with your life.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” You flirt right back, giving your best friend a knowing look before casting your eyes back to the stunning couple in front of you. Good lord, you wish you had Breana’s confidence.

“Yeah,” Alex confirms, pulling you into his side a little more, “And I know you would, too.”

“Enough of that, Alexander,” You scorn him, poking him in his side to make him stop as you feel heat rise to your cheeks. “Are you gonna have a face like a slapped arse all night or are you gonna smile for the photos?”

“How about you don’t smile either, then we look no different?“ Alex suggests and you roll your eyes before you look back at him.

“I’m not like that, though.”

“Yeah,” Alex nods in agreement, “You gotta keep that gorgeous smile, scratch that.”

You shake your head at his cheesy grin, “Ever the flatterer, Al.”

Your best friend pulls you into his side a little more and whispers a reminder, “Beautiful, remember?”  

Your chest feels all warm when he tells you that, despite not believing him fully when he said it anymore. After all, he first said that before he’d seen you now. But you cast that aside as you say, “Love you, Shakespeare.”

“Yeah, love you more, Angel.” Alex tells you as he takes your hand and moves the both of you forward when he sees Matt and Breana move from their spot in front of the cameras.  

Your heart rate becomes ridiculously fast as you walk up in front of all these flashing cameras. It’s a little disorientating, but you just squeeze your best friend's hand a little tighter and when he does the same right back, you feel a little better.

When you reach the middle of the carpet, Alex unlaces his fingers from yours so he can wrap his arm around your waist and hold you close to him there. The amount of cameras is actually scary.

You don’t know how he does this all the time. There are at least 30 different cameras all spread out and all yelling Alex’s name.

You feel the need to look up at your best friend to tell him, “I don’t know where I’m meant to be looking”

His gaze meets yours at that point and a smile finally shows on his face. When you look back to the cameras he says into your ear, “Just scan across them, left to right. About half a second on each person. Just pretend you’re watching a fly making it it’s way down the line of them.”

You chuckle at that a bit, your grip around his back tightening to show your amusement. It’s comical to know that on all the red carpet pictures you’d seen him in, he was just picturing a fly.

You hear him chuckle next to you, before you both start again looking slowly across the line of photographers. Thankfully, there’s only a limited amount of time the photographers get with him and after a long minute you’re both moved on.

Alex grabs your hand again and you make your way into the tent outside the venue. At this point the lads have to go down another carpet to do some interviews, but you’re fine with Breana, Katie, and Kelly when you all head into the O2.

Of course, it isn’t the first time you’d been here, as you’d been to the O2 to support the lads when they got their first show here, however many years ago now. But you’d never seen it set up like this, you’d only ever seen this on TV.

The tables that fill the pit are all tightly packed together, and it’s mental seeing famous faces all around you. You of course keep your excitement under wraps in front of people, but when Alex comes and sits down next to you about 20 minutes later, you can’t help but fangirl a little.

When the lads all sit down, you all have a drink before the night is due to begin. You had all arrived about 45 minutes early as they were the opening act, so they had to go and change clothes and prepare for their song 15 minutes before the start.

So, it wasn’t a surprise when they were all whisked away a little early. You wish them all luck and you give Alex’s hand an extra squeeze before he goes as a little extra form of luck as he kisses the top of your head before he leaves.

You and the girls all help yourselves to the abundance of alcohol that the table holds in the buckets in front of you. You opt for white wine, as there’s about 4 bottles of it in front of you and you know the other girls prefer rosé or red. Halfway through the first glass and gossiping to the girls, you all pause, hearing James Cordon open the show and introduce your lads.

The opening of R U Mine? blasts through the speakers and it’s so amazing feeling loud music vibrate through your body once more. You don’t hesitate to get up with the other girls so you can try and see your friends from over the second stage that you were just in front of. You can just about make them out and you see that Alex is in a rather dashing green blazer as he plays his guitar.

But what makes them difficult to focus on is the giant AM that's been lit up with fire that hangs over the second stage. It’s huge, and because you’re practically just in front of the stage, you all feel the full heat from it. It’s bloody warm.

The performance is amazing, like it usually is, and you cheer the loudest you can for them when they finish. You feel an overwhelming sense of pride for them and the album. Whether that was because you designed the cover in the middle of the shittest time of your life, or whether you were just feeling some extra love for your friends, you didn’t know.

But that didn’t stop you giving Alex the biggest hug when he returned to his seat five minutes later. The lads were back in their outfits that they wore on the red carpet, and you were all chatting away over the show within minutes of them being back.

Because of the noise in the large room, you found that all of you ended up in conversation mostly with your respective dates, meaning that you and Alex were chatting away what felt like privately for most of the night. You kept refilling your wine as Alex would reach for another bottle of Budweiser and then you would return right back to your conversation as you both ingested more and more alcohol.

You and Alex were doing your third tequila shot of the evening when Lily Allen announced them as the winners of the best British group. You both almost spat the drink out because you were so invested in your conversation and drink that you and Alex didn’t even hear the nominations. So, when the rest of the table shot up, you were both too consumed by each other to even notice the announcement.

You laugh at your obliviousness and hug your best friend tightly when you both eventually stand up. You whisper in his ear, “I told you One Direction wouldn’t win it.”

Alex just laughs and hugs you that little bit tighter before he goes up on the second stage to collect his award. Alex makes you giggle when he jokes about the One Direction bet that he made with you in his acceptance speech, but your chest just seemed to fill with pride again for your friends.

You actually can’t hold back your cackle when James Cordon starts complimenting the boys as they leave the stage. More so when he spoke about Jamie.

“You're working it, you're killing it.” And he proceeded to slap Jamie’s arse. You and Katie lost it as the boys made their way back over to you. It was hilarious.

They were back and sat down within a few minutes, award in hand, and you couldn’t help but ask Alex if you could hold the award. They changed it every year and this time the body of it was black, but it had a white circle on the front of its head.

As you were inspecting it, Alex got his phone out so he could take a picture of you with the award, something which you jumped at the chance to have. Alex took one of you holding it normally and smiling, and then another of you sticking your tongue out and throwing the peace sign.

Afterwards you got your phone out and asked Nick to take a picture of both you and Alex with it. You shuffle your seat right beside your best friends’ and Alex wraps an arm around the back of your chair as you hold the award between you. You take a normal smiling one, a peace sign one, and finally one where you’re leaning right into him and grinning like a drunken idiot, and you grin even more when you feel Alex resting his head against yours.

You love your best friend so much it hurts.

After confirming that the pictures were adorable and putting the award down in front of you, you and Alex decide to start being a little adventurous with your drinks. Alex pushes the boat out and decides on a whiskey, and you decide to have a raspberry vodka and lemonade.  

“Al, we’ve started mixing drinks. This isn’t a good idea.” You tell your best friend, as you clink your glasses together.

He chuckles, “No, probably not. But this is the most fun I’ve had in ages.”

You can’t help but agree, and the both of you go between the drinks you’re on for the next 20 minutes or so. Just as you're pouring two more tequilas into your shot glasses though, a guy with an earpiece in, comes over to the table and tells Alex that James Cordon is going to be coming for a chat.

You just about keep yourself together, as you love James Cordon a lot because of him playing Smithy in Gavin and Stacy. You remember some amazing nights with Alex binge watching that programme so the fact he’s now standing next to Alex talking to him is a little surreal.  

But it becomes even more so when James’ eyes find yours. A smile immediately finds his face, and he asks your best friend with a hint of humour in his eyes. “Is this your stunning girlfriend you’ve brought along, Alex?”

“Oh, I’m not that lucky, James.” Alex says and you resist the urge to poke him for being suggestive on camera, “This is my best friend, Y/N.” Alex introduces you and you feel very out of place.

“Your best friend?” James questions, looking a little shocked, “Best friends? You two?” he points between you and the two of you nod.

Alex confirms with a nod, “Since we were nineteen.”

Jesus, you were both old now.

“But, but Alex,” James stumbles on his words as he comes and stands between the both of you now, “Are you blind? She’s stunning.”

Your cheeks immediately start burning, and you close your eyes for a split second, trying to process the compliment. But you can’t keep a smile off your face when you catch both Breana and Katie grinning at you.

You’re drawn back to James Cordon when he softly places a hand on your shoulder and asks, “Are you single?”

“Yeah.” You nod, feeling very embarrassed on national TV.

James looks back to Alex then and points between the two of you and loudly asks down the microphone, “Then what’s stopping this?”

You just feel your cheeks go hot and Alex just smiles, but doesn’t say anything. Alex can definitely take this one, you’re pretty stunned and at a loss for words. But when Alex doesn’t give him anything more than a smile, James has to improvise.

“Gents, and your ladies.” James gets your other friends involved then, “Can you feel this over here?”

“Can you feel the suffocating tension, dare I say the sexual tension, and chemistry?” James says, hovering a hand above you and Alex, and the room fills with cheers.

However, your hand comes to your face to try and hide your embarrassment. “Oh, my god,” You say mortified, before trying to hide yourself behind your hair.

But you look right back up at Matt when you hear him say, “All the time mate. It’s constant.”

Alex shakes his head at his best mate and you're gobsmacked he’s just said that on TV. He just has a cheeky grin on his face then though, and as James makes a fuss of it, you shake your head at him, then Bre, then Katie.

James crouches down beside you and Alex then, so he’s the same height as you both sat down, and he puts an arm around the back of Alex’s chair and cheekily asks him, “Dare I ask, are any of your songs about your date for the evening?”

Alex laughs a little before biting his lip and thinking for a second. But his mind was hazy enough to be more open than usual, and Alex looks straight at you when he says, “Just one or two.”

The room once again gets loud at the revelation of Alex writing songs about you, but you just grin at your best friend and shake your head, playfully rolling your eyes. You briefly glance at Matt who’s just sat shaking his head also. You see that he mouths to Jamie, ‘more like fifteen’.

James Cordon gets your attention by asking, “How’d you feel about that one, Y/N?”

“I’ve told him to get a life and drink more alcohol,” You joke, reaching for your shots of tequila and James, Alex, your friends, and the rest of the room laugh.

“Tequila, James?” You offer him, grabbing another glass and start pouring another shot in hopes that will end the topic of conversation.

He looks a little weary, answering, “I shouldn’t.”

“But you will.” Alex grins, when he hands James his and you put the new one in front of Alex.

“You’ve twisted my arm.” James gives in very quickly.

James makes Alex link his arm before they do the shot and you can’t help but laugh. James makes the room count down from 3 and you take your shots with a big cheer from the arena when you down them.

“I’m not letting this between you go.” James says as he rises back to his feet, “I’ll be back to check on you lovebirds later.”

Unfortunately for you, James does keep his promise and when he comes back about half an hour later when Alex is sitting closer to you and you're practically leaning on him. You’re also holding his hand just underneath the table as you’d just been listening to Lorde perform Royals.

But when you just catch the cameras creeping up beside your table again, you’re too late to move away from your best friend.

You hide into Alex’s shoulder when James Cordon appears beside him and says, “Suffocating guys, really.”

You briefly close your eyes and say, “Fuck sake,” and you feel Alex chuckle as he gives your hand a squeeze.

“Matt, how do you put up with it?” James questions, earning a laugh from you and your friends.

“I don’t know mate, honestly. Just leave them to it, really.” Matt says and when you move yourself away from Alex a little, you see James cast his eyes down for a second and you know you’ve been caught out.  

“Are you two holding hands?” James announces over the microphone, and he comes round and picks your intertwined fingers up off Alex’s lap and shows everyone that, “You’re holding hands!”

“Look at this, they are holding hands.” He reiterates to everyone and you have to bite your lip to stop yourself from smiling. You got clingy when you were drunk, and you were very much on your way to being drunk. You were rather tipsy and a little tired.  

James questions again as he releases your hands, “You’re telling me nothing’s going on yet you're holding hands.”

You sit up a bit more then and tell James, “Look, I’m at the Brits, you keep coming over and putting me on TV, I’m absolutely petrified. I need some moral support.”

You make no effort to let go of Alex’s hand, either. What was the point? You’d been caught out now.

James coos, “Why are you scared?”

“Are you joking?” You chuckle, and point over your shoulder with your other hand, “I saw One Direction over there. Remember when we watched them on X factor, Al?”

Alex grins and nods at you, definitely one of the many good memories from when he lived in your flat with you for those couple of months.

“Are you telling us that Alex Turner is a One Direction fan?” James asks you with a massive grin.  

“He wanted Matt Cardle to win, I’m the fan.” You out him and James chuckles.

James stands up a little straighter and looks across over the sea of tables and shouts, “Harold get over here, you have a fan.”

“Don’t, James,” You gasp in embarrassment, putting your free hand over your mouth but this seems to be another way to embarrass you.

“Have you got his ring on?” James asks, looking between your hand and Alex’s free one that is around his beer.

“No, it’s my ring.” You say as your cheeks begin to heat up again.

James jaw drops, “You have matching rings! This can’t get any better.”

“All of us got the matching ring.” Alex tries to defend you both, but James seems to know every plan of attack.

“Matt, does your lovely girlfriend have a ring?”

“No, she doesn’t, James.” Matt confirms with a grin.

The host turns back to you and Alex again and points between the two of you, “So, you’re telling me that there’s nothing going on here?”

Both you and Alex can’t help but grin at him, but you both shake your heads.

“You’re lying, but I’ll pretend to believe you so I can ask your date another question.” James chuckles, and he asks you, “Do you like their new album, Y/N?”

“Yeah,” You nod, “It’s one of my favourites.”

“She designed the album art, you know?” Alex chips in and it makes you smile thinking about how proud of it you were.

You bet not many other people could say that they designed a number one album cover in a hospital bed.

This seems to really excite James and he asks with a grin, “Did you?”

You nod with a smile and Alex gives your hand a squeeze when he looks at you and says into James’ microphone, “She’s done all our logos too, haven’t ya?”

You just smile at him before you look back up to James. He’s grinning at you like your best friend is and you can’t help but feel very embarrassed, once again realising you’re on TV when you catch yourself on the big screens near the main stage.

“Right, then,” James begins, “Anyone in this room, artist or manager, if you need an album designing Y/N is where you go to. She’ll have business cards ready to hand out to you, just mind the tension when you come over for one.”

Your friends around you laugh at this and you can’t help but chuckle as well. Alex is smiling along too, or he is, until James finishes with, “You can only take her email though, Alex will just fight you away if you come over for her number.”

You shake your head appreciating the plug but also hating every second of it.

Before you can react though, you feel someone’s hand on your shoulder and a lot of noise from the crowd in the upper tiers. Only when you turn do you realise why, and it is because you turn to see Harry Styles standing beside you. You burst out laughing and shake your head.

You end up letting go of Alex's hand to hug Harry whilst James makes a fuss about it and as you do, you can hear Harry saying hello to Alex from over your shoulder over the noise of the crowd. James has to cut to an advert just after this, so Harry half forces James to apologise for ‘obviously trying to embarrass’ you and Alex.

The whole interaction makes you laugh and after Harry heads back to his table, James actually apologises but you shake your head saying it’s fine. Because it was.

You’d had jokes made about you and Alex for years, and it felt quite nice for them to be being made again whether it was from the host or not. You felt like it was old times again and that you were your old self again.

And it felt great.

Just after James left, you saw a man that you’d never seen before come up towards Alex, and Alex greets him as you eavesdrop whilst having another large drink of white wine.

After Alex and the man exchange pleasantries, the man glances at you for a second and you smile.

He tells Alex, “I’ve actually come to speak to your friend. I need an album cover design.”

“Oh, of course, sit down for a second.” Alex tells the guy, as he stands from his seat. Alex tells both you and the man, “I’ll be back soon, I’ll go say hi to Lily properly.”

You smile at Alex and give him a little nod when he silently checks if you’ll be okay. But you quickly pay attention to the man who takes Alex’s seat beside you, “Y/N, right?”

“Yeah, was it Marcus?” You question, recalling what Alex only said a minute ago.

“Yes, it’s lovely to meet you.” He shakes your hand before continuing, “I was just wondering if I could actually get your email? I’ve got this new band wanting to release an album later this year and they have yet to find any designs they like.”

“Oh, right, sure.” You smile, feeling excited about the prospect of making another cover. Forgetting completely that you haven't been working for a good 6 months.

Marcus tells you, “They are called Catfish and the Bottlemen. I don’t know if you’ve heard of them or not?”

“I have actually, I think I’ve seen a few videos of them.” You tell him honestly, “They are really good.”

Marcus smiles then, “Well, they asked if I would come over and ask if you could possibly design them something?”

“Are they here?” You ask.

“Yeah,” He nods, “They are just a few tables away from the back. We thought we would bring them so they can hopefully get used to the scene.”

“I could come and say hello if you like?” You suggest. “I think there’s a few minutes before anything else or any other awards or anything.”

And so you do. You follow Marcus over to his table and you see the band of young budding musicians who look thrilled to be here, at an event full of free alcohol. There were quite a few empty bottles of Heineken around, which made you smile - they reminded you of your lads and your boys.

“Hey, it’s lovely to meet you all.” You smile, and they all say their hellos back to you after Marcus introduces you to them.

“So, you want an album cover?” You ask, crouching down a little near the lead singer, Van, who really reminded you of Alex in 2008.

“Yeah.” He nods, “We don’t want anything fancy or anything, we just want a drawing or something maybe. But simple like you’ve done with AM.”

“Right, that’s sweet.” You get your business head on a little then and look around them asking, “Did you have any ideas at all?”

“Not really,” Bob informs you, “We wanted a sort of plain and normal logo, though. But the album art we just know we want a drawing.”

“Okay, well what vibe is the album?”

Van asks, “How’d you mean?”

“Well, have you gone for heartbreak? Relationships? Sex? Betrayal? Drugs? You know, the usual sort of ones,” You list the main possible themes.  

“Probably more down the relationships and sex route,” Van tells you a little sheepishly, which makes you smile.  

You aim to ease his nerves a little when you say, “Love that.”

But then Van jumps back in and explains, “It’s not like ‘hands down each other’s pants’ in your face. But it’s definitely there.”

That actually gives you a lightbulb moment, so you think out loud, “No, but you saying that has actually just given me an idea... You wanna tell listeners what it’s about before they listen, right? Like a ‘this is what you’re expecting’ sort of thing.”

You continue to explain, “Like AM you’ve got all different sounds. You’ve got the beats. You’ve got the exploration of all of that, and that’s why the amplitude magnification waves work for it. And take The 1975s self-titled album, they have their name in bold neon writing because it’s there to draw attention. Neon signs are used to entice people in.”

“Hands down your pants, that’s a good idea. It would be good to give a hint to the vibe of the album.” You say looking around them, “And it would be really easy to draw without it being explicit.”

“Yeah,” All the guys at the table seem pleased with the chat, but obviously you’d rather decisions be made with a sound mind.

“If you just email me or phone me tomorrow, I’ll try and set up a meeting before I go away with the Monkeys and then I’ll send designs to you to sort something out.” You tell them whilst subsequently realising that you actually did plan on going on tour with the lads.  

“Do you need to listen to the music or anything?” Bob asks you.

“If you’ll allow me to listen then sure, I’d be happy to. But if you’re after something in particular, you can just let me know too and I’ll do that.” You smile, “The Monkeys just pick and choose what they like because I just get bored and make them random logos. But obviously after hearing your music and getting to meet you, I can do that for you too and you can select whatever you fancy.”

Van smiles at you brightly, “Thank you so much.”

“No problem at all. I’ll be sure to have a watch of your videos that I can find online too. I’m really excited to have a proper listen.” You grin at them and stand yourself back up. You bid them and Marcus goodbye.  

You tell the table before you leave, “Hope you all have a good night.”

“You too.” Van says back and you smile brightly between all of them.  

“See you all soon, hopefully.”

You make your way back to your table with a skip in your step then, along with a massive smile on your face. You can’t contain how happy you are. This night was amazing.

When your table is back in sight, you half race over, and jump back into your seat loudly telling Alex and the rest of them, “Guess who’s landed herself a job..? This gal!”

They cheer and clap for you a little and Alex pulls you into a hug which you don’t deny for a second. He asks you whilst in the hug, “Celebratory drinks?”

“Of course.” You giggle and you and Alex proceed to ingest a lot more wine, beer, whiskey, vodka, and tequila.

You were very much tipsy when the night started drawing to a close. But with each passing minute you were enjoying your surroundings, chatting with your friends, and listening to some amazing live music.

This was truly one of the best nights of your life.

You are holding onto Alex’s hand as Emily Sande reads the nominations out for Mastercard Album of the Year. Of course, when you hear Arctic Monkeys’ name up for nomination, you give Alex’s hand an encouraging squeeze, silently hoping and praying that they will win.

Pure relief and adrenaline enters your system as you hear your best friend’s band announced as the winners of the final award of the evening.

“Yay!” You cheer excitedly as both you and Alex stand up along the rest of your table. Alex turns to you to hug you and you throw your arms around his neck. His arms go around your waist and you share a moment when you pull back a little.

“I told you that you’d win.” You grin at him, now holding his smiling face between your hands, just resisting the urge to pinch his cheeks.  

“You did.” Alex grins back at you and the way he’s looking at you brings you so much joy that you really can’t control your tipsy mind. Not that you even want to at this moment.

You lean in and kiss him for a good few seconds, and end up smiling into it a little when you feel his hold around you tighten. Before you release him from your grip, you both share a big grin as if it’s just the two of you in your flat sharing a moment.

“Go get it, Darling,” You smile before pushing him towards the stage.

As Alex goes with the others, he turns back to look at you with a smile, and you can’t help but grin back. It was like it was just the two of you having another inside secret, but neither of you thought for a second about the amount of cameras that would have been on you, or the fact that the whole of the UK had just watched you kiss him.

A kiss that sparked so much fury in Matty, who was watching from Manchester, that he launched his glass of red wine across the guys living room. The sound of it and the red liquid smashing up the wall caused George, Adam, and Ross to jump in their seats, yet it wasn’t a shock.

Matty had been angered by every interaction that the Brits had shown of you tonight. From the carpet, to both times James Cordon had come over to speculate about you two. Matty loathed it and he hated your best friend.

Before all the glass had a chance to settle on the floor, or for Adam to scold him for the hundredth time tonight, Matty got up, grabbed his leather jacket, and left his flat.

Adam felt for his best friend, but he also couldn’t ignore how happy you looked at each interaction this evening. You looked happy for the first time in a long time and Adam was pleased to see that.

Even if your best friend who seemed to be making you very happy was currently making the weirdest speech about rock and roll that Adam had ever heard.

The speech was mental and rather confusing to your tipsy mind, but you couldn’t stop smiling for the life of you. Even when Alex made a ballsy move and said “And invoice me for the microphone if you need to,” before he mic dropped.

You let out a loud laugh, not believing you just watched all of that take place in front of your eyes, and that your best friend just did a fucking mic drop at the Brits. You laughed even more when you heard James Cordon say from the main stage as the lads walked off, “And that was Alex Turner obviously feeling invincible after that kiss Y/N just gave him.”

You were laughing with the guys' significant others when the lads came back over and you all stood up to greet them and congratulate them. Your arms fly around Alex’s neck and as you hug him you say over Pompeii by Bastille now filling the room, “Are you kidding me? I kiss you and then you make a speech like that?”

“You made my mind go blank.” Alex tells you, but you don’t allow him to use that excuse.

“Do not blame that travesty on me.” You giggle, hugging him a little tighter before you let him go.

The show ends then, but you know that the night is far from over. Before any of you know it, you’re at the afterparty and you seem to be meeting everyone under the sun, which would worry you a lot more if you hadn’t already got a lot of alcohol in your system.

Because of all this though, you kept teasing Alex about his messy speech. You’d made at least ten rock and roll jokes, or assisted Jame and Matt making them.

And you were making lots of cyclical jokes to take the piss out of him, which you could tell was starting to annoy him. And when he warned you, “If you say cyclical again one more time tonight, I’m going to shut you up.” you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Aha, you can try, Turner.” You laugh with a teasing grin before you are both introduced to Dan Smith from Bastille.

Around 1 a.m., both you and Alex had consumed a lot of alcohol and met a lot of different people, which made the both of you want a break. So, when Alex announced to the other lads that he was going for a smoke, you jumped at the chance to follow him.

It was getting too warm, rubbing arms with A list musicians. It was proper mental and you needed to take a minute. The smoking area was a little busy near the doors, so for a moment of peace Alex followed around the red velvet rope to the other side of the area, down the side of the building you were now in.

It wasn’t very luxurious, and it reminded you of an alleyway, but you were just happy to get a moment's peace with your best friend. The dark alley didn’t provide much light for you other than the heater that was above your heads, and so you pressed that button to illuminate you a little.

You had a nice private chat, and you saw an opening to make another joke as you watched him finish his cigarette.

“Do you know what it is about smoking that makes it addictive?” You ask him.

Alex frowns a little, knowing you already knew the answer, “The nicotine.”

You’d quit, hadn’t touched one since your momentary lapse on Christmas day, you knew what your body craved.

“No, there’s more to it actually,” You start to explain, abandoning your glass of wine on the table, before you move to just in front of your best friend, “It becomes habit, because you get a craving, you go outside, you light a fag, you take your time repeating the process of taking a drag, and then you finish it and you go back inside until the next craving...”

Alex shakes his head as he throws his cigarette to the gutter, a few feet away from you, “I know what you’re gonna s-”

“It’s the cyclical natur-” You start to say, but you can’t finish because your best friend attaches his lips to yours to stop you.

And suddenly, you stumble a step back until your back is against the wall and your senses just scream Alex. You’re both not wasting any time with it.

It had been a night full of teasing, but this kiss was far from it. Within seconds your tongues were moving against each other’s and Alex was taking your breath away.

His hands hold your sides, before one presses on the small of your back, pulling you into him more. The kiss keeps you completely consumed. He's pulling you into his body in all the right places that makes you want it to continue on for as long as possible.

Soft moans coming from the both of you spur the moment on. Both not caring if anyone was to stumble across you at this moment. You’re just infatuated with each other.

So much so that when Alex pulls away, biting your bottom lip as he does, you whine wanting his lips back on yours. Your hands, which are around his neck, pull him back down to you so the kiss can continue - and Alex graciously obliges.

You’d almost forgotten what it was like to kiss someone. The last time you’d gotten off with someone was before the accident with Matty.

That wasn’t on your mind at all, though. You just craved the comfort and the adrenaline that Alex brought you.

When he pulls away, taking your bottom lip with him again, you feel like you’re back outside Matt's house after that game of spin the bottle. You feel so excited about a kiss again and you can only think that's a good thing.

Alex doesn’t move far away when the kiss is over. There’s probably less than an inch between you, the light from the heater gone now as the timer has run out, so only dim moonlight illuminates his face.

Alex’s body is still pressing into yours when he says, “You know you look stunning, right?”

“I feel pretty today,” You nod slightly with a smile now gracing your swollen lips.

Alex corrects you, “I mean all the time, though. Just even more so tonight.”

You smile at what he says, but you shake your head dismissing him.

“Not to actually quote a One Direction song at you,” Alex smiles, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear, “But I don’t like that you don’t know you’re beautiful.”

You giggle at him and when you glance down at his lips, you gently wipe around his mouth seeing its stained red from your lipstick, “Yeah, I’m sure I look great with red lipstick all over my face.”

“You do, actually,” Alex grins, moving an inch further away to inspect your face, “It suits you.”

You laugh at that, but when you try again to get rid of the red makeup from his skin you panic the slightest bit, “Alex, it’s not coming off your face.”

“Let it stay on, I’m not embarrassed about kissing you.”

“I’m not embarrassed about kissing you, either." You assure him, but admit, “I’m embarrassed if someone sees lipstick all over our faces. We'll get knowing looks after everything Smithy said tonight.”

Alex grins at that, distracting you from the task at hand when he laughs at what you called James Cordon, “Did you really just call him Smithy?”

“British culture, Alex,” You playfully smack his chest, “He is Smithy from Gavin and Stacey when he is in this country.”

You both have a little laugh then, and when your laughter dies down, you say whilst looking into those gorgeous chocolate brown eyes, “We should binge watch that again soon.”

“Yeah, we should,” Alex nods, and you see his eyes flick back down to your lips, “But first…”

“Alex, the lipstick.” You panic, putting a hand on his chest to stop him from kissing you again.

“There’s none on your lips anymore Angel.” Alex assures you with a grin before connecting your lips once more.

And you melt into your best friend when he does so. Your hand slides up his chest back to cup the back of his neck so you can keep him in the kiss.

When Alex decides to trail kisses across your jaw and down your neck, your fingers lace into the back of his hair and pull on it encouragingly when he reaches the sensitive spot on your neck. When he teases the skin there, you can’t stop the breathy moan that falls from your lips.

You find yourself tugging on his hair a little, after letting him tease you for a while, wanting his lips back on your own. When you finally get your way, you find yourself smiling at the small groan Alex lets out against your lips. You just feel pure joy running through your system and you don't want it to end.

When Alex tries to pull away again, you bite his lip and pull him back in, which has the both of you smiling into the gesture. You wish you could get lost in the moment forever, but unfortunately all good things must come to an end.

“Alex,” You both hear Jamie call and it jolts you back into reality.

You pull away from the kiss then and turn your head to the other side, mumbling, “Fuck sake.” quietly. You knew someone would catch you if you carried on, but you were too consumed by the joyous feeling to care until it was over.

You can hear Jamie’s footsteps as he walks towards you and you look towards the ground, despite not being able to see it. You're still very much in Alex’s arms, as you’re trapped between the wall and him as he’d yet to move away.

“Bit of something on your face Al,” Jamie teases, “You too, Y/N/N.”

“Jamie, fuck off,” You tell him, putting your head on Alex’s other shoulder so your face was less easy for him to see.

After Alex hears your friend chuckle, he asks his mate, “Cookie come here a sec,” Alex waves him towards you both, making no attempt to let go of you.

Jamie scoffs though, “I don’t wanna watch you two get off.”

“Funnily enough Jamie, I don’t want you to either. Just wanna pinch that, thank you.” Alex says, plucking Jamie’s handkerchief out of his top pocket.

“This is why you get a suit with a real pocket for once, Al.” Jamie chuckles, glancing towards you still hiding away in your best friend's arms.

He shares a pleased look with Alex and gives him a little encouraging smile. Jamie is definitely happy to see his two good friends in each other's arms again after looking so happy all evening. He’s overjoyed for you.

“Just go and get Nick’s as well would you?” Alex smiles and asks his mate, “Don’t draw any attention.”

Jamie nods and heads off back the way he came, and Alex rubs your arm when he disappears around the corner, “Alright he’s gone, let me clean you up.”

You smile, a little embarrassed when you lift your head back up, but the embarrassment dies completely when you see Alex lift the cloth to his lips. You stop him straight away, “You’re not my Mum, you’re not giving me a spit wash. Use the end of my white wine.”

“My tongue was just in your mouth.” Alex tells you, as if you didn’t already know, as he gets the wine from the table, “Swapping spit literally just happened.”

You grin, “Ah, yes, like the cyclical nature of it moving around our tongues.”

“For fuck sake,” Alex shakes his head, “You’re fucking disgusting.”

“You weren't complaining a few minutes ago.” You grin and after a moment you see him glance down at your mouth. You ask him, “Is it everywhere?”

“We made a mess, yeah.” He grins, before handing you your wine and dipping the corner of the cloth into it and bringing it up to clean you up.  

You’re giggling while trying to get it off Alex’s face when Jamie comes back five minutes later with Matt, because apparently he wanted proof of you and Alex. But he wasn’t very surprised to find it was real.

“Oooo what have you two been up to?” Matt grins, seeing you trying to clean Alex’s face up.  

You nonchalantly say, “Cleaning war wounds.”

“He doesn’t look like he’s in much pain.” Matt points out and Jamie chuckles.

You hold your hand out to your friend, and cast your eyes away from Alex for a moment, “Just give me the handkerchief.”

The one in your hand was covered in red lipstick from what Alex had cleared your face with, and it's becoming increasingly difficult to clear Alex’s now. Once Matt hands it to you, you dip it in your wine and turn Alex’s jaw to look towards his friends as the light from the heater wasn’t that good and was bound to run out again soon.

“Don’t grab his throat Y/N, he’ll get excited,” Matt grins and Alex smiles but shakes his head a little.

Jamie sees that the joke doesn’t land right immediately, because a smile didn’t even slightly form on your lips. So, it was no surprise when you said, “Matt, don’t ruin my first kiss in over six months please.”

All three boys go quiet then. You think they’d forgotten that you’d not done anything, or met someone new, because they’d been with you the whole time. And when you went out with Y/B/F in the month that she was back, it wasn’t with the intent to move on in any way.

Not that moving on is what tonight was, because it wasn’t. Tonight you were just happy and you didn’t want overthinking to ruin it.

You knew that you were nowhere near over Matty, but you weren’t going to let a fleeting kiss between you and your best friend send you spiralling. You just wanted the joyous feeling you were experiencing to last a little longer.

“I can’t tell if it’s lipstick anymore or just your skin going red from me rubbing it.” You sigh, and once again have to hit the heater button so the red light shines on you both again.

Jamie suggests, “Why didn’t you just use the torch on your phones?”

“Fuck sake Al, you have my phone.” You shake your head. God you must have been drunk if you forgot there was a torch on your phone.  

Your hands immediately reach inside his blazer then, diving into the inside pockets where you knew your phone was hidden somewhere.

“Stripping him off now.” Jamie chuckles, which makes you roll your eyes.  

You say half seriously, “Can you two just fuck off?” as you take your phone out and turn the torch on. Alex kindly takes it off you and holds it so it hits his face, but so it doesn’t blind him.

“We just wanna watch things get interesting.” Matt tells you honestly as you start trying to clear the last bit of red from around his mouth.  

“Sorry, did you expect me to get on my knees for him?” You roll your eyes, “No. And especially not here.”

Matt suggests with a smirk, “I’m sure you could find a bathroom.”  

“I’m not giving him a blowjob in the bathroom at the Brits, thank you.” You give them a little death glare, “Past getting up to things in bathrooms, I’m not twenty-one anymore.”

“Who were you giving blowjobs to in bathrooms at twenty-one?” Alex asks you curiously.

“Curly.” You admit, trying not to think back to it. The wounds he left in your heart weren’t really as closed as you’d like them to be.

Matt makes light of your answer and asks, “Ah, so you’re classier now then. Prefer a bedroom?”

“Just not in public would be grand, yes.” You chuckle.

Alex raises his eyebrow at you then, a clear suggestive look clear on his features as he takes over so he could get the bit he missed from the side of your mouth. You don’t miss the suggestive look in his eyes when he suggests, “Back at the hotel then, Y/N/N?” as he wipes the side of your mouth.

“In your dreams, Darling.” You smirk.

He grins at you as he says, “How did you know?”

“You’re insufferable.” You shake your head at him, knowing he’s joking.

“Yet you just got off with me.”  

“Well,” You shrug and make light of it, “Julian Casablancas is not here so you’re the next best thing.”

“You think I’m on Julian’s level, Angel, that’s a real compliment.” Alex rests a hand over his chest like you’d just warmed his heart.  

“Shut up, Alex,” You laugh and press the now stained handkerchiefs to his chest and you down the last bit of your white wine.

You look over to your other friends who had stupid smiles on their faces then. “Right you two, go and get me another drink and I want to do shots with your gals. Go get them and me a drink.”

“Yes, Miss.” Jamie chuckles before pulling Matt along with him.

You walk a few steps with them but pause when they disappear around the corner. You turn back to your best friend and smile seeing he’s not far behind you. Neither of you say anything as he walks towards you, your Y/E/C eyes and his brown ones stay connected and you aren’t surprised when his hands land on your hips and he pulls you into him a little.

This time you lean up to his lips and softly kiss him for the last time tonight. You let yourself enjoy the warm feeling that heats you up as his lips move against yours.

When you pull away, Alex steals one more peck which you let him do, and you find yourself smiling up at him like an idiot. Alex is just the same though, and he can’t stop himself from grinning down at you seeing as you’re so happy.

“Al,”

“Yeah?”

You smile as you ask, “I’d like to come away with you lads on tour, if that’s okay?”

“Course it is, Angel.” Your best friend smiles at you lovingly. “Now, come on. Bre and Katie are waiting for you for that drink.”

You grin at him before taking his hand and pulling him with you outside the alley. Just as you’re about to make it back inside though, you hear a familiar voice ask, “What have you two been doing?”

“I’ll tell you if you tell us what happened on the fishing trip?” You grin at James Cordon, knowing he’d get the reference to the show.  

Alex chuckles at your attempt, but it’s James’ laugh that makes you grin like a fool, “Ahaha, very nice try.”

You both think that is the end of the interaction between the three of you, but James calls your name again. ”Y/N?”

When you turn back with a smile, James asks, “Where has your lipstick gone?”

You smile guiltily and shake your head, “Very funny.”

James just laughs and you pull your best friend back inside to continue one of the best nights of your life.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: DAMN! What did we all think? Who we routing for? Where we at? x

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[nriacc]

Sex | NRIACC: Part 7 |

Nothing Revealed In A Common Crisis 

Plot by @imagine-that-100​ and @ghostlightqueen​

Written by @imagine-that-100​

Description: | Here |

Word Count: 20.3k

Warnings: This series contains mature content and themes throughout

A/N: Heyyyy, sorry this is a little later than expected but I promise it’s worth the wait. No prizes for guessing what this part consists of... Enjoyyyy x

| Series Masterlist | N’s Masterlist | NRIACC Playlists | The Band’s Info | Read on Wattpad | Read on AO3 |

Two weeks after Matty came to your flat you found yourself back in Manchester, and you and a certain curly haired boy had already been testing the waters. You’d been over for a few days and you two had already had your fair share of kisses and secret rendezvous in either your room or his.

Nothing had yet gone past what it did the night that you’d first kissed. Maybe there had been a little more touching on Matty’s part, or maybe there had been a little bit of dry humping, but it was still all very PG-13. Or it was, until you were at a party of one of Matty’s school mates.

Some kisses had been shared throughout the night, much to Adam’s disgust. He’d at first been fuming at Matty when it came out about you cheating on your boyfriend with him, but after you explained how you felt about it, Adam seemed to let it go slightly.

But you both move past Adam’s looks of disgust and carry on with your little kisses. They get a little longer each time another drink is consumed, but for most of the party you’re just getting on how you used to.

Matty was chilling with his mates and you were with George’s sister and her other friends that you've met from the summers you’d previously been coming down. They were a fun group of people, and you were really glad they accepted you into their group each time you came back.

Thankfully the group had grown past wanting to play drinking games, so you had a nice, normal house party of just drinking with your mates. And of course a good house party wouldn’t be complete over here in Manchester until one of your boys was lying on the ground looking like they were about to fall asleep.

This time it was Matty.

You’d just come back inside after having a smoke with the girls and were walking into the lounge, when you were met with Matty’s body sprawled out across the ground near the TV. It made you laugh straight away.

Your giggles echo through the room where the other lads were sharing a spliff. They don't pay much attention to you other than shrugging their shoulders when you ask them if Matty was okay.

He doesn’t move when you ask them this, but you do see his fingers start tapping in time to the song that’s just come on - Hey Ya! by OutKast. You couldn’t even blame him for doing it initially because the song was one of your favourites. You note that his nails are painted black and don't look too chipped yet - which was pretty good for Matty. You can also see his chest rising and falling.

So, because you knew he was okay, and you knew he wasn't asleep, you decided to play with him a little.

You crouch yourself down just by the top of his head so that your face is hovering over his. That is before you then move down further so that you can whisper in his ear.

“Hey, Curly,” You whisper but he gives you no response.

“I know you're not asleep, you know,” You smile, looking at his fingers still tapping away. “The musician in you gives you away.”

You note that his fingers stop tapping.

“It's really a shame that you're asleep, because I wanted another kiss,” You tell him and his head gently knocks against yours as he turns it.

Matty keeps his eyes closed but now he's facing the ceiling. You can tell he’s done it so you have easy access to his lips but you decide to make him give you a little reaction.

You whisper into his ear again, “Gonna need a little response out of you to know I'm okay to kiss you. Looks a bit weird of me to kiss my cousin’s mate who's asleep on the floor without so much as a smile from you.”

You pick your head up a little then and you're pleased to see a smile twitching its way onto his face and you take that as your little invitation. You cup his face and move your lips down onto his.

It’s weird because it’s practically an upside down kiss but Matty seems to like it, as he’s kissing you back. He even goes so far as to tease his tongue inside your mouth so you're pretty much getting off with him.

Thankfully it's not so different to normally kissing someone, so you're not thrown by it. You’re also pleased that your hair has fallen around your face so that the other guys in the room can’t really see you and Matty kissing.

They weren’t stupid though. George knew exactly what was happening despite the dark lighting and the coffee table obstructing his view.

“Alright Tobey Maguire, leave MJ alone,” George calls and you can hear the smirk in his voice.

You pull away from your damsel in distress and laugh in response to being called a superhero. You look up to the drummer and shake your head, “Thanks for getting us both the right way round.”

“Well, yeah, Matty paints his nails more than you do,” George chuckles a little and you look back to Matty expecting a response but he’s playing dead again.

You shake your head at his childish act, but you can't quite get the smile off your lips. You whisper again, “You going to defend yourself? Or is that too much work for a tired man like yourself?”

You’re greeted with a tired groan which makes you chuckle. You ask, “Want me to wake you up a bit?” and you feel him nod his head beside your own.

You grin at that before endeavoring to startle him awake. Matty expects you to kiss him again, or kiss somewhere on his face, but no.

You get yourself up and silently move around him. All before making him jump by straddling his waist.

His hands fly to your hips and his eyes shoot open. You just giggle at your curly haired boy who now wears a shocked smile.

“Well I wasn’t expecting this quite this early,” Matty grins, squeezing your hips a little.

You laugh, “Shut up.”

“Ah, you love it, really,” He smirks.

You chuckle, partly agreeing, but you don’t let him know that, “Curly, why have you always gotta have your head in the gutter?”

“Second nature when you’re around, Sweetheart,” He grins, and you can’t help but laugh.

After a minute of aimlessly chatting, Matty asks, “You gonna get up Wheels?”

“No, I’m quite comfy,” You say, tilting your head as you lean down over him. Resting your elbows down on his chest and tucking one of your fists under your chin so you could look at him.

He’s already smirking at this new position that you’d put yourself in.

He feels the need to tease you a little bit, just to see if you bite back, “You’re gonna be a lot more comfy later without all these restrictive clothes getting in the way.”

“All talk, you are,” You grin.

“Would you like me to remove some now?” Matty offers, suggestively raising his eyebrows - his thumb also tucking under the Pink Floyd top that you had on today.

You play along for a moment and smirk, “Get me into a room where it’s just us two, then, sure.”

You know there isn’t anywhere in this house that the two of you were allowed to escape to. There were too many people around, and you're sure that everywhere upstairs apart from the two bathrooms were out of bounds.

The host, Pete, was very clear about that.

“You’re nasty,” Matty says, looking slightly offended. ”You know there’s nowhere but my house.”

You giggle a little, moving your elbows off his chest so you can just hold your head up inches away from his face. His brown eyes are full of adoration and mischief, and you find yourself liking getting lost in them.  

“Just kiss me, Curly,” You smile, knowing he would comply.

He grins then, “Don’t have to tell me twice, Wheels.”

After kissing you again, you’re both forced away from each other. The guys wanting his attention and the girls wanting yours again.

Something which you both get on with, but you could feel the weird pull between you even more after that. It was silently telling you both that you weren’t done.

And that ends up being correct. You manage to have him to yourself again when you go outside for a smoke and he kisses you then with the excuse of seeing whether you could do blowbacks of the smoke properly. You should have seen it coming, but you liked that you didn't know what was coming next when you were with him.

He kisses you again in the kitchen after you’ve done sour shots, which were the strawberry ones that Matty insisted on buying for you because he knows you don't like the others. That time, he doesn’t give an excuse as to why he kisses you, you think he just felt the urge.

The next time, you kiss him in the lounge - thankfully not on the floor this time - but after he made you get up and dance with him to one of his favourite songs. He just seemed so happy in himself and after you both stop dancing, you're just grinning at each other.

So, you kiss him.

It gets a little too intense for you both in a room full of your mates who are also all dancing around you. So, Matty has the good idea to slip you both out.

“Where are we going?” You ask him after you both sneak out of the lounge and he starts pulling you up the stairs.  

“A room where there’s a little privacy,” He tells you when he reaches the top of the stairs.

He pulls you in the direction of where you’d been a few times tonight and you laugh, “We’re not shagging for the first time in the bathroom, Matty.”

He turns back and grins at you, pulling you into his body when he smirks, “I never mentioned shagging, Wheels.”

“What did you have in mind?” You ask him, your nose brushing his to tell him you’re interested.

“Just some fun,” Matty grins before pressing his lips to yours once more.

“Mhmm,” You hum, liking the sound of that.

You kiss outside the bathroom for a while, which was pretty stupid because anyone could just come up and see the both of you getting off with each other there. Especially when you wouldn’t even be able to hear them come up the stairs because the music was still really loud.  

After a few minutes of you both working the other up, Mattys hands start to roam the top half of your body and moans start falling from your mouth. Hearing those is what possesses Matty to pull you back into the bathroom.

Your lips only part for a few moments, but for both of you it’s like you've been starved of them the moment your lips separate. You want them back on yours immediately, and thankfully they do just that, as soon as Matty shuts and locks the door behind you.

He presses you back against the door and you moan at the contact of both you being pressed into the door and Matty’s hand under your jaw holding you in place as he kisses you. On second thought, you may scrap your idea of not shagging in a bathroom.

You kiss him back hungrily, your fingers finding their way into his curls, needing something to ground you. His body was pushing you back into the door and feeling him against you like that, after so much teasing the past few days, was making you desperate for him to touch you more.

Your fingers tug on his brown locks and the moan he releases is enough to make you lose your breath, with or without his lips on your own. You just want him, in any way you can.

You feel his hand tighten around your throat and Matty feels the vibration of your moan on both his palm and his tongue. It just makes him want you even more than he already does.

Not too long after, he starts kissing his way down your throat, as he’d done a few times now, but this meant he knew where your weak spots were. The ones that have you whimpering and moaning for him. So, he uses his knowledge to his advantage and teases the noises from you.

And they were better than any music that he’d heard before.

You pull him back up to kiss his swollen lips again, and you can feel that he’s hard now. Something which was a boundary you’d not yet commented on in the past few days.

But today seems to be where the boundaries between you were changing. So, you decide to see if he’s up for a little something more.

Your hands that were currently cupping the back of his neck, keeping his lips against yours, slowly start to trail their way down his chest until they move his black top out of the way to find his belt buckle.

Matty feels you start unthreading his belt and he grins a little into your kiss when he feels you unbuckle the leather from around his waist.

“Thought we weren’t shagging in a bathroom?” Matty asks against your lips with a smirk.

He makes no effort to stop your hands though, so you carry on trying to remove his belt.

After breaking away from the kiss, you say, “We’re not.”

Matty’s eyes are locked with yours then and his jaw drops at the same time you drop to your knees. You focus your attention on unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans, tugging them down to reveal his boxers.

He can’t help but choke on his words, “Wha- Y/N- Are yo-”

You grin up at him as you start to tease his boxers down.

“You want me to?” You ask and Matty can’t seem to get his words out.

He nods down at you, his eyes silently pleading for you to continue and you get straight to it. As soon as your lips are around him, a loud moan leaves Matty’s mouth.

His hand also immediately goes to your hair, needing something to hold on to as he feels you take him deeper into your mouth. You feel fucking amazing around him.

Soon enough, you’ve set yourself a steady rhythm and Matty has to put his other hand on the locked door to brace himself a little. Though, it was also to stop himself from moving.

His hips were begging to buck forward but he restrained himself. You were going down on him and it felt so fucking good, he didn’t even have to tell you what to do.

You were just doing everything perfectly.

“Fuck,” Matty says, along with a series of other curses.

He was being loud, which you usually weren’t opposed to but you weren’t in either of your homes - you were in one of his mates' bathrooms.

“You need to be quiet,” You say when you pull yourself off him for a second.

Matty nods and bites his lip but he silently pleads for you to carry on, which you do. And Matty can’t get enough.

He truly doesn’t know how he holds it together for as long as he does. He thinks he only manages between pulling on your hair or saying quiet curses under his breath.

But every time he looks down at you, another wave of pleasure floods his system. Seeing you on your knees for him stirred feelings inside him that he’d never felt before.

It was true pleasure that washed over him, causing him to lose his breath each time you caught his eye. Your Y/E/C eyes were full of lust and it made him want to pull you up and fuck you against the door.

But it was thinking like that, that caused Matty to have to slow your movements down. He pulls on your hair a little, but you tease him some more by hollowing your cheeks again.

An involuntary thrust and moan comes from Matty then and you know he’s close. It just makes you want him even more.

Your theory is confirmed when Matty starts to warn you, “Sweetheart. I-”

You nod a little understanding him, before taking him into your mouth fully again. You moan around him as you slowly withdraw a bit, and that sends him over the edge.

Matty feels euphoric then. He’s pretty sure that life can’t get any better than it was in that moment of blissful relief.

Matty can’t believe that you’ve just given him a blowjob in his mates bathroom. But there you were on your knees in front of him, his hand still in your hair and your lips still around him, swallowing his cum like you’d done it a thousand times before.

“Fuck Y/N/N,” Matty says pulling you off him, wanting to kiss you again.

You're smirking up at him as you get yourself back up after tucking him away. You grab his thigh to aid in getting yourself up and as soon as you're on your feet again Matty’s lips find yours.

After kissing him for a minute, he kisses down your jaw asking, “You’re coming back to mine, right?”

“Am I?” You ask, loving him now kissing your neck.

Matty tells you between kisses, “Wanna return the favour.”

“How kind,” You chuckle, pulling his hair so he’ll come back to your lips.

The kiss is still a little feverish, but you're still so obviously turned on by the other. You feel like it’s your first time doing anything again, wanting his lips all over your skin.

But at the same time you can’t quite stop smiling at the fact that you’ve just given him a blowjob in a bathroom at Pete’s house party.

“Looking awfully smug, Sweetheart,” Matty mumbles against your lips, feeling you smirking into the kiss.

You grin and murmur against his lips, “I feel it.”

Matty laughs a little then which makes you both pull away from each other. Matty’s hands are around your waist still pressing your body against his, though.

“Oh, yeah, I love how you feel smug because you were gagging on m-” Matty starts but your hand goes over his mouth.

You give him a pointed look and say, “Save the dirty talk for when we’re back at yours, yeah?”

He nods under your palm and you smirk. You remove your hand and then pull him back to your lips.

Before you know it you’re both back out in the party and you’re pleased when no one is any the wiser as to what you and Matty just got up to. But he doesn’t leave you alone for the rest of the night though, which you weren’t really opposed to.

It just made you all the more desperate for him by the time you could all leave.

You did end up going back to his, which Adam wasn’t impressed by, but you were drunk enough and old enough to tell him to fuck off and that it wasn’t up to him who you went home with. At least you were going home with someone he could trust.

Thankfully, that was the last time Adam gave any criticism towards whatever it was that you and Matty had going on.

When you got back to Matty’s that night, he certainly did repay the favour and he went down on you. Something which he didn’t stop doing until you came twice, leaving you completely exhausted afterwards.

Surprisingly, the both of you didn’t have sex with each other that night. Or the next few times you stayed over at his or he stayed in your bed at Adam’s house, either.

Your Aunt and Uncle were okay with him staying. They said that you were both adults and you could do what you wanted, you just had to be respectful of them and their home.

Which, of course, you both were.

You were both extremely quiet when you sat on Matty’s face that night. You hid your moans extremely well despite Matty doing every little thing he could to make you louder.

The only slip up you had was when Matty got your third orgasm out of you. It hit you harder than the previous ones had done and a moan slipped out of your mouth involuntarily which Matty quickly had to shush.

You were thankful the next morning when nothing was said and no one looked awkward,  meaning that they definitely hadn't heard you. You were also really happy that your little thing with Matty didn’t affect his and Adam’s friendship, because you would have just broken it off with Matty there and then.

Adam meant the world to you and you wouldn’t want to ruin anything about his life or make it awkward between him and Matty. But you were pleased to see that they acted exactly the same around each other, still joking about and both still liked taunting you.

So, nothing much had really changed. The only thing that had, was that in the month that you stayed in Manchester, you and Matty had started giving each other orgasms.

You weren’t seeing each other or anything like that. You were just using each other in that mutually beneficial way when it was just the two of you alone.

You didn't act like a couple outside of that. If anything it was quite nice having the casual aspect to your friendship, because it actually meant that you could still talk about people you found attractive and everything how you all used to.

After a relaxing couple of weeks away from home, you unfortunately had to head back to High Green to pick out some different clothes for yourself. You’d been in Manchester for almost a month and you were beginning to think that your outfits were repetitive, so you decided to head home and grab some more stuff.

The boys all wanted to tag along with you but you told them no. You needed to spend a few days back home by yourself and you also needed to see your best friend and fill her in on everything.

An added bonus was that Alex and the lads were also back home, so you wanted to see them all again. You did have half a mind to bring the other band over with you to meet them, so they would finally stop calling you a liar but for the time being you wanted to keep them separate.

Especially with Matt taunting you about Matty.

Alex is extremely worried about you when he sees you. Mainly because of the fact that you’d been slow with your replies to him and your phone calls were shorter than they usually were.

So, it’s actually a big relief to him when he can wrap his arms around you and chat to you properly. He’d really missed you this time around, especially after your kiss last time he’d been back home.

It had only been a month, but he felt like it had been a hell of a lot longer.

“So how's your toyboy been Y/N/N?” Matt asks you.

You were currently round at Y/B/F’s house where Alex and Matt had also congregated just before you’d arrived.

“Don't start,” You shake your head, “I’ve practically just walked in.”

You sit yourself down next to your male best friend and ask him how he was, but he seemed very quick to ask you how you were and if everything was alright. You assure him that you’re fine and you settle into a nice chat about the festivals that he’d been performing at.

Or you were, until you overhear Matt asking Y/B/F about you and your ‘cougar’ ways.

“He’s been really good. She told me,” Your best friend grins at Matt.

Matt grins at you then, “Oh, so you're swapping spit again?”

“Fuck off Helders,” You shake your head, throwing your now empty bottle of Dr Pepper at him.

He dodges it easily, which annoys you. But what annoys and shocks you more is that your best friend corrects him under her breath, “More than spit.”

“Y/B/F,” You scoff, “Can you like, fuck off?”

She just giggles at you, also giving you a half hearted apology but she also says, “They didn't even hear.”

Matt tries to pry for more information then, annoyed that he’d missed what she said. This just makes you thankful that you chose the male who was less invasive to be your other best friend.

“What do you want me to say, Helders? Yes, I'm having a good time in Manchester. You need no more information than that,” You shake your head at him.

Matt comes back with, “But I'd like it.”

“What a shame,” You fake a smile at him, “And no, she's not going to tell you anything, so don't bother asking.”

Matt looks to her then, eyes already begging her to spill the beans. You don't pay her much attention, not thinking that she’d out you, so you reach into your bag for your other bottle of pop when she gets up out of the seat beside you.

But then she says something rather loudly. over the sound of you cracking your drink open, and you want to murder her.

“Let’s just say she orgasms a plenty,” Y/B/F says, practically for next door to hear.

Your jaw drops to the ground and you watch as she runs to the kitchen. She looks back at you and giggles when she sees your jaw still hanging open and you’ve started slowly shaking your head in disbelief.

You blink a few times actually processing that she's just said that before putting your drink back down and holding your head in your hands. You needed to come to terms with that she’d just revealed that to your other two close friends.

You could already feel the embarrassment coming off you in waves.

“Oh, so you’ve progressed,” You hear Matt smirk, which makes you reach out for the remote that’s on Alex’s lap, and you launch it at the drummer.

Thankfully, you’re faster than Matt is and it hits him square in his chest. You get up from your seat and head to the kitchen to have some hushed words with your best friend.

You know she just wanted you to embrace what you were up to, as you were doing nothing wrong, but you still felt weird telling Matt about stuff like that. Alex knows you better, and you occasionally have chats about your sex lives, or you used to when you had a boyfriend, but you mostly just chatted about him since he was the single one.

When you head back out into the lounge, Matt gives you a sheepish apology and a kiss on your head when he bypasses you to go get himself a drink. You don’t really mind much and you do appreciate the kiss.

You sit yourself back down next to Alex, who you spy is drinking your drink, and he asks you, “Were you gonna tell me anything?”

“You really wanna hear about me kissing boys?” You ask him, taking your drink out of his hand and having a sip yourself.

“Just kissing?” Alex raises his eyebrows at you a little and you roll your eyes.

You sigh, “You know exactly what I mean.”

“No, I don't particularly wanna hear about the details,” Alex answers you honestly.

“Thought so,” You say, focusing your attention solely on him now, ignoring whatever the two were up to in the kitchen.

Alex then “But, you know, I’m down for our chats to start back up again if you want them to?”

“I'm more interested in hearing about you,” You smile honestly, “What about you? Kissing any girls?”

“Why? Do you really wanna know?” Alex raises his eyebrows at you, not believing that you would, considering you’d not spoken about stuff like this for a long while.

“Yeah, of course I do,” You nod.

Alex furrows his eyebrows, “Why?”

“Cause I'm your best friend...” You tell him as if it's obvious, “I wanna know if my friend’s seeing anyone.”

Alex just shakes his head, his brown locks falling into his eyes as he does so, “Not seeing anyone.”

You press on, correcting your question, “Shagging anyone?”

But the answers are the same. “No,” He reveals, taking your drink back from you.

“Interesting... For a rockstar,” You hum, a little smile forming on your face.

“Thought you’d be fucking the whole town by now,” You say as you rest your head down in his lap, feeling the need to stop your best friend from sitting back beside you.

You stretch your legs out as she and Matt walk back into the room. But they take no notice of you and Alex, they are just focused on their own conversation as they sit beside each other on the other settee.

“No,” Alex shakes his head, laughing a little.

Your attention moves back to the cute brunette who's now looking down at you. You smirk back up at him, “Better step your game up, hadn’t you?”

His grin meets yours and his fingers tangle in your hair. “Whatever you say, Angel.”

You smile up at him but then your other friends take up your attention. They’re now arguing over whether the wife on Jeremy Kyle, which was playing on the TV, has had an affair or not.

But Alex couldn’t give a shit about that argument, or even look towards the TV to try and get some context. He was too focused on you.

Your hair that had messily fallen over his lap when you lay yourself down. The way your Y/E/C eyes lit up as you listened to your friends throwing theories around.

But mostly Alex focused on your lips.

The fact that they were so beautiful as they were pulled into a smile. But more so because the fact Alex wanted them back on his own.

~*~*~*~

The next morning Alex comes by and he sees you outside, already slowly packing your car up.

Your Mum had been annoying and had asked you to take a bunch of her things over to the Hann’s on your way back.

You obviously agreed because you wanted to help your Mum out but she didnt tell you how many fucking boxes you’d be moving before you agreed.

Alex couldn’t help but admire the way you looked. You weren’t dressed in your usual attire today.

Instead of your fishnets and shorts, you had your ripped black skinny jeans on and your white flowery shirt was tucked into them. The shirt wasn’t one he’d seen before, but it looked really good on you.

He could see pink and red flowers bunched together on the shirt and the material was quite thin, meaning he could just about see your red bra underneath. When you turned towards him he also noted that the front was unbuttoned a fair amount, showing your cleavage off.

And upon closer inspection he could see that you hadn’t thrown your signature fashion statement out all together. The rips in your jeans showed off your fishnets underneath.

Your black hair was up in a messy bun and Alex could tell that you’d been lugging boxes back and forth for a good while. You already looked knackered.

“Need any help?” Alex offers his services as a way to announce his presence.

You give him a relieved look then and sigh, “I’ve never loved you more than I do right now.”

Alex laughs and you show him where the boxes are coming from and where he can put them in your car. You end up explaining to him as you both work why everything is being moved.

You explain that your Mum is putting the house in your name and she’s moving over to Manchester to be closer to her sister. It was going to be a slow process, probably wouldn’t fully happen for another year, but that was the plan.

Alex asks if you’re moving away too and you shake your head. You tell him that you're not and that you’re going to live in your house whilst you do your masters, before you move out and get yourself a flat either around here or slightly closer to the city.

You were going to rent your house out and try and make some money that way and you're thankful that your Mum liked that plan. You knew you’d be making a profit immediately as the house didn’t have a mortgage anymore (that being because your Dad, thankfully, had a really good life insurance policy before he passed away when you were a baby).

Alex seemed to understand the logic behind the move and you were glad to see he was supportive of it. But after you explained all that, you asked him where he was headed.

“I was on my way to Matt's,” He tells you as he puts another box in the boot of your car.

You nod understanding him and you grin, “Never been so thankful to live round the corner from Helders,”

“Because you know I can’t watch you struggle,” Alex grins.

You laugh and joke, “My hero.”

You both laugh as you head back in your house for another box each. Your conversation picks back up with Alex asking you, “So, what are you doing when you get back over there?”

“I’ll probably have to move all of this into the garage,” You say as you struggle to pick a box up.

Alex looks at you a little worried but he makes sure you’ve got it before he picks one up himself.

“Yeah, that should be fun,” Alex nods sarcastically.

“Yeah,” You chuckle, “Annoying though, because my Aunt and Uncle will still be at work when I get there and knowing my luck Adam won't be home either.”

As you both head towards the front door, Alex asks, “What about afterwards?”

“After what?” You ask, carefully stepping out of your door.

Alex asks you curiously, “After you’ve put all this away... What do you do over there?”

“Usually I just mess about with my drawings whilst the boys play Mortal Kombat,” You say nonchalantly as you head to the car.

“Wow, sounds fun,” Alex chuckles sarcastically, thinking you’d hate that. But he’s apparently wrong.

“It is, actually,” You say putting the box in the boot, and as you make room for Alex’s box you explain, “Get to watch and listen to them all mess about like idiots but I can do something that I enjoy at the same time. I don't miss out that way.”

Alex nods and once again questions, “So, you've got a day of Mortal Kombat ahead then?”

“Not sure actually, I think there’s something on tonight but I’m not sure.” You say, fairly certain you all had plans this evening, “I’ll probably go and see Matty as soon as I've put this away.”

“Who’s Matty?” Alex asks as he puts the heavy box in your now full boot.

He guesses the rest of the boxes will have to go on your back seats.

“Adam’s mate, Matty,” You say, frowning a bit.

He knew this. You had no clue why he was asking.

“Wait, the one that was shagging about last summer?” Alex’s brown eyes meet yours after he shuts the boot.

“Yeah,” You nod.

Alex’s eyes narrow a little then, looking straight into your Y/E/C asking you, “Are you sure you should be doing that?”

“Yeah,” You confirm. Still a bit confused.

You’re both still out on the pavement when he asks you, “He's the one you kissed, right? The one that Matt keeps calling your boytoy?”

“Yeah, you know he is Al,” You say before spinning around heading back inside for another box.

You didn’t like his tone. It sounded like he was on the brink of telling you off for something.

“I don‘t, really,” Alex says as he follows you back inside.

You’ve already grabbed another box when he follows up with, “I know nothing about him other than he's in the band with Adam and you've kissed him.”

“Right,” You nod before you question, as he grabs another box too, “What more do you need or want to know?”

You're already walking back outside when you state, “You've never had an interest in what I do in Manchester before.”

“Can’t I just be curious?” Alex asks as he watches you put your box down in the back of your car.

You turn toward him to take his box as you say, “It doesn't sound like you're curious though... It sounds like you're about to lecture me.”

You don’t hear him say anything as you put the box in your car. So, when you turn back, you ask expectantly, “Well... Are you?”

“Well, I'm just worried about you,” Alex tells you, and you can see he means it.

“Why?” You ask confused as you stand back up.

“I don't want you getting mixed up with him,” Alex tells you, not moving to go for another box.

“Where's this coming from? What's Y/B/F told you?” You ask but then correct yourself, “What's she told Matt that's made you say this?”

“Nothing really,” Alex tells you, “Just that you're sort of seeing him.”

“Right? And why are you getting all weird about it?” You ask him, crossing your arms.

“I'm not, I- I just want to make sure you're alright and that you know what you’re doing,” Alex tells you and you scoff a little.

“Alex, are you really going to give me this lecture whenever I see someone?” You shake your head before sidestepping him, heading back to your house.

He is confused about that, but he follows you anyway, trying to explain himself.

“I’m looking out for you. Same way you looked out for me when you and Y/B/F saw Joanna cheating,” He tells you, watching you grab another box.

“It’s not the same case. I don’t need looking after,” You say, not even looking at your best friend as you go to move past him again to head back outside.

Alex gets a little annoyed then, saying, ”No, because you’re just going back to who you cheated with.”

That makes you grind to a halt. Your Y/E/C eyes find his brown ones immediately and you scoff.

“Wow, Alex. Nice, thanks for that,” You say completely unimpressed and a little offended before you head back outside.

“I’m sorry Y/N, but just listen to me,” Alex follows after you without even grabbing a box, feeling guilty.

“No. I’m single now Alex,” You snap, turning back around to look at him halfway between your house and your car, “I’m not doing anything wrong anymore. I stopped things earlier in the year before they progressed into something worse…”

“I know it was awful of me and I’ve gotta live with that for the rest of my life,” You say.

You hate that you’re having to explain yourself again to one of the people that you’d been assured, time and time again, that you didn't have to do that with.

It hurt him saying that, so you say seriously, “Either be my friend or don’t. Friends don’t drag shit back up.”

You certainly hadn’t. You never brought up him leading you on, even after you’d silently forgiven him for it.

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” Alex says genuinely, “I know it wasn’t the same deal as Joanna, I know you were both growing apart... But you know I just want the best for you, Y/N/N. And I’m not sure going back to that guy is that.”

You tell him truthfully, “It’s harmless.”

“Is it though?” Alex prys, “After you’ve just got out of something pretty toxic?”

You try to let the anger bubbling inside you go, as you try to make him understand, “Look, Alex,” You say as you put the box down, “It’s just a summer fling. Mutual attraction and all. Trying not to be horny all the time.”

This just grates on Alex more though, but he keeps his cool. He says, “You can mess around with people over here, you don’t need to go back to Manchester.”

“Oh, yeah. Who am I gonna mess around with here?” You laugh dryly.

“Everyone hates me because of what I did to Peter, because they didn’t know what shit I put up with. And the friends I still have, I’m not risking a friendship for a shag,” You say making excellent points that Alex can't really argue with.

But he didn’t want to come right out and be truthful with what he was thinking, so he stumbled on a reply until something came to mind.

“Is he even clean? How many people has he slept with?” Alex asks you worriedly.

Your jaw drops at the question, though.  

“Alex, are you fucking kidding?” You scoff, “You’ve heard of condoms right? Also why the fuck would I tell you stuff about him? You don’t even know him.”

“I’m one of your best mates,” Alex says, watching as you go back to your house for one of the last boxes.

He waits by the front door as you grab the last one. When you walk towards him, he softly tells you, “I’m just trying to look out for you.”

“And I appreciate it, Al,” You say a little calmer. Then you truthfully tell him, “But I’ve already shagged him a fair few times… The chat’s coming a bit late.”

Alex’s heart sinks hearing that, and he’s got nothing else to say about it.

“Listen Al, I’ll be back in a few weeks, yeah? And you go on holiday a few days before I get back, right?” You check and he nods, “So, maybe I‘ll come back before you go. I’ll give you the same chat, yeah?”

Alex just shakes his head, “I’m going away with my Mum and Dad for probably the last time in a while. I won’t be shagging anyone.”

“Oh, right,” You say, but then you think of something else, “I’ll just give you the chat when you go on tour in a few months and fuck every girl out there.”

“I dont wanna fuck every girl out there. One will do,” Alex says, trying to hint at who he was meaning.

And Alex was so clearly meaning you.

But you were oblivious.

“My thinking exactly. Stop worrying about me. There’s no feelings there. It’s just sex,” You lie as you shut your car door, thankful that everything’s packed up.

There was something there between you and Matty. But you’d both agreed early into your friends with benefits situation that it wasn’t going to lead to a relationship.

You didn't want to be tied down again so soon and Matty respected that completely. You just agreed with each other that whilst you were having sex with each other, you weren’t going to have sex with anyone else.

And the both of you were okay with that.  

You can see the worry in your best friend's eyes then. So, you weren’t all that surprised when he said, “Just... be careful please.”

“Don't worry, I always am,” You tell him as you lock up your house.

You hook your keys from your belt loop, so you can freely hug your friend who’s obviously worried about you. It’s sweet of him, but totally unnecessary.

“Now give me a hug,” You say when you turn back to him.

Alex doesn't protest the act of affection, if anything he feels like he needs it to let you go.

Your arms circle his waist and he goes around your shoulders, holding you to him in a tight embrace. His aftershave fills your senses again and you find what comfort you can from that.

“When do you come back off holiday?” You ask, prolonging the gesture a bit.

“Beginning of September,” You hear him tell you as he runs his hand up and down your back.

Alex can feel your warm skin through the thin material. He really didn’t want to let you go.

“And how long are you back for?” You ask, figuring out dates and times for everything.

Alex tells you, “Until tour starts.”

“You're joking?” You ask a little shocked.

“I get you for a whole fucking month?” You ask as you look up towards the brunette.

Alex grins seeing your smile, “You do.”

“Awh, I'm so excited,” You say, hugging him a little tighter.

Alex grins before he plants a kiss on top of your head. “It’s gonna be fun, Angel.”

And you had no doubt it would be.

You end up dropping Alex off at Matts on your way past and have another hug there. You wish him luck for his few more festival shows he has in the next few weeks.

But your heart did sink a little at the thought of him being home for a fortnight when you would still be in Manchester. But you’d made plans, you couldn’t go back on them now.

After getting back to your Aunt’s house, you’re not surprised to find that your cousin was nowhere to be found. That'd be the last time that you pre-warn him that you needed his help moving something.

It takes you about half an hour to unpack the boxes, not wanting it to tire you out, so you just took your time. You text Alex to let you know you’d arrived safe like he asked you to and then you decided not to waste the free time that you found you had.

You text Matty to ask if he’s home and you’re glad when he replies that he is. You drive yourself over to his house and you still find yourself marvelling at how big it is.

It feels even bigger when you’re inside though, because it’s usually just you and him. His Mum was down in London with Louis, and his Dad was out of the country filming the next season of Benidorm.

And that was still the case today when you pulled up on his drive, only seeing his van there. You’re quite glad about it really, considering what you had in mind for the afternoon.

“Hey,” You grin when your curly haired boy pulls his front door open to let you inside.

“Don’t you look good today?” Matty grins, shutting the door behind you.

He easily recognised the flowers that littered your shirt to be peonies, and the red and pink colours of them compliment you well. You look so effortlessly pretty and Matty couldn’t take the smile off his face.

“Thanks,” You smile, but your smile turns into a grin when his hands find your waist when he brings you in for a hug.

“I’ve missed you,” Matty mumbles into your neck, tucking himself away there loving the smell of both you and your perfume.

Your arms are wrapped around him when you chuckle, “I’ve only been gone a few days.”

“Far too long for me,” Matty says, pressing a kiss to your neck before moving back to look at your gorgeous face.

You laugh at that, “Jesus, how do you cope when I’m gone for half the year?”

“I don’t,” Matty laughs.  

You giggle before you kiss him and he wraps his arms around you even tighter, securing you into a series of cute little kisses. You love how he holds you, it’s as if he’s scared you’ll disappear right out of his arms.

“The boys here?” You ask against his lips.

Matty shakes his head, “No.”

You grin and hum, “Good,” before kissing him again.

“Why?” He asks after another kiss.

“I thought we could maybe go upstairs,” You grin a little sheepishly, pecking his lips once more.

Matty moves the both of you further down the hall, closer to the stairs, and he grins. He lets you go and he nods towards the stairs.

He playfully slaps your arse, telling you, “Ladies first.”

You laugh and head up the stairs with Matty following not too far behind. You both practically run up the stairs and Matty’s arms fly around your waist again as you make it just outside his room.

This makes you giggle as he obviously knows how keen you are to get things going. Your laugh makes Matty laugh as it’s just infectious, and he cranes his head around yours to kiss your cheek a few times.

You lean into his kisses and just about turn yourself around so you can catch his lips once more. You can taste the cigarette on his tongue, as you were sure he could probably taste the one you had when you finished putting the boxes away.

Your fingers instinctively run up his chest to his neck and into his curls, ensuring he can’t get away from the kiss that has you connected. Before you know it, you’re on the bed in his room and Matty has already got your shirt off, after accidentally ripping a button or two.

He removed it from you in record time before he threw it across his room, never to be found again. You couldn’t care less though, because now he was between your legs hovering over you - unfortunately, still fully clothed - but he was kissing your neck, hard.

You find yourself letting out whimper after whimper, wanting his body and his touch more and more. Your chest arches feeling him cup your covered breasts and you can feel Matty’s grin on your skin.

You can’t even bring yourself to call him out for getting that much satisfaction from the simple act though, because all you wanted was for his lips and hands to continue on. You wanted his lips on your chest and your curly brunette knew that.

So, he was taking his sweet time with every little thing he did.

“You wear this for me?” Matty asks, hungrily looking at the red bra that holds your boobs so perfectly.

Matty can’t help but pick his head up and just admire the floral lace that covers just what he’s itching to get his mouth on. It makes his mouth water looking at you with just that on your top half.

“Maybe,” You say, a little breathless.  

Matty can hear the grin on your lips as you say that, and it’s confirmed when his eyes flick up and meet yours through his dark curls hanging over his face. He can’t keep his gaze away from your glorious chest though because he’d like nothing more than to lose himself between your breasts, kissing away at your skin.

“I almost want you to keep it all on,” Matty says, dipping his head back to kiss the swell of your breasts that the bra couldn’t keep a hold of.  

You arch your chest into his touch, wanting as much as you can. Something which Matty takes note of because you feel one of his hands go underneath you.

He’s sucking at your skin near the top of the red lace when you say, “Can if you want?”

But Matty’s already shaking his head, “I said ‘almost’, Sweetheart.”

And then you feel him unhook your bra which makes you giggle.

His mouth finds your breasts as soon as he removes the red material, and you love the way he makes you feel. It’s like it’s the first time you’re experiencing anything again, the sensations are that good and so welcome that you find every little pleasure you can from it.

Your eyes shut with the now familiar feeling of his lips on your skin and your fingers lace into his hair, encouraging him to continue. The fact that Matty can hear you moaning beneath him makes him want things to hurry things along, but he fights with himself as he wants to admire every single inch of you.

But the way you’re tugging on his hair and raising your hips to meet his, makes his self-control deplete. He wants you more and more as each second goes by.

His kisses continue to get lower and lower, but you already know where this is going because Matty’s hands are 10 seconds in front of his mouth. Your jeans are already unbuttoned and unzipped by the time Matty’s lips finally leave your breasts.

He kisses his way down your stomach enjoying the feeling of you pulling on his curls. He also loves how responsive you are to him.

As soon as your jeans are undone, Matty starts kissing further down your body and his fingers hook onto your belt loops at your sides. And because you’re just as eager and you don’t want Matty to ask, you raise your hips off the bed so he can pull them off you.

Something which Matty hastily does, taking your underwear with your jeans. You’re pleased you kicked off your shoes when you entered his room, so you didn’t have to faff about with taking them off too.  

Once Matty rids you of your clothes, he looks at you like he’s hungry.

You’re naked on his bed once again and you look so gorgeous. Matty wants to pinch himself to make sure he isn’t dreaming - because he’s definitely dreamt about this more than once, even before you found yourselves having sex the first time a fortnight ago.

“You look so fucking pretty, Sweetheart,” Matty can’t help himself but tell you as he gently trails his hands over your skin.

Hearing that makes you whine for him and his touch is slowly making you lose your mind. Matty lowers himself further down the bed as he raises one of your legs over his shoulder and he starts softly kissing the inside of your leg until he works his way up to what he can’t wait to once again taste.

You’re so riled up by the time he reaches between your legs, that the sound that escapes your lips when his tongue starts teasing your clit is something that surprises you just as much as Matty. You’d been needy before, but this was an entirely different level.

Matty had gone down on you a fair few times already since you’d been over this year, and that was a euphoric experience in itself, but something about this time is making it even better. Maybe it’s the fact you’d been thinking about him doing this again over the past few days you’d been back home.

You won’t lie, you were so eager to get back over to Manchester to experience this again that you’re much needier than usual. Or maybe it’s because Matty just has a very skilled tongue and he knows how to work you up as if he’d been doing it for years.

As Matty starts using both his fingers and his mouth to pleasure you, you feel like you’re in heaven. You don’t think that you’ve ever been as desperate for a release as you are now.

Your fingers are buried into Matty’s curls that spill off his head and onto your skin. It just adds to the overall sensation of him being between your thighs.

Matty must be enjoying himself too, as he doesn’t let up his pace once. The sensation of his tongue teasing and flicking your clit with every intention to bring you the most pleasure has you crying out for him. Your moans act like encouragement for Matty, because the more he gets to hear those gorgeous cries of pleasure, he increases the speed of his fingers fucking into you.

Your curly haired brunette is nothing short of determined to push you over the edge completely, and when he moans against you, you know you can’t last much longer.

It sends a wave of pleasure right up through your body that has you moaning even louder for him and your back arching. Matty notices right away that you enjoyed that because he does it again right away and get the same delicious reaction along with you moaning, “Oh fuck Matty.”.

Hearing his name fall from your lips has desire running through Matty’s body. He’s getting harder by the second, the taste of you is making him delirious and lust has completely taken over, he wants to make you cum over and over again.

Matty can tell you’re close, so he decides to use his free hand to try and add to your pleasure. Instead of holding your hip down to the mattress, he reaches back up and he starts pinching and rolling your nipples between his fingers, which certainly adds to the experience.

Your legs start to shake not long after, and when Matty curls his fingers inside you, he knows that you’re on the edge. So, to ensure you get your high, he moans against you once more as his fingers still work inside you and that’s when you lose it.

The building pressure that you feel being released from your body is like nothing you’d felt in a long while. You don’t think you’ve ever felt this good in your entire life, and with Matty working you through your orgasm at the same relentless pace, it seems to prolong the sensation much longer than you were used to.

Hearing you moan out his name again whilst your thighs clamped around his head and you’re pulling on his hair, is like a feast for Matty’s eyes and ears. He can’t take his eyes off you as your back arches and you slip into a state of complete pleasure.

Matty wants to memorise the look on your face as the euphoric feeling washes over you. That turns him on just as much as his current actions. Hearing his name spill from your lips like a mantra also makes him never want to forget the moment. He never thought he’d be lucky enough to experience you like this, but the fact he’s just made you cum and you look like a goddess makes him want to memorise every single detail of you.

Your curly haired brunette watches as you slowly come back to him, and when your hazy eyes make contact with him you pull on his hair a bit and Matty already knows that you want him up from his current position. That’s something which Matty obliges to quickly, and he crawls his way up over your body, leaving longing kisses as he does so.

He likes to tease you, so his mouth pays close attention to your boobs on his way back up. Matty loves that you’re whimpering at him just doing that.

His kisses eventually carry on up your body when you give his hair another quick tug. When his lips once again meet yours, Matty loves that you moan at the taste of yourself on his tongue.

Although Matty finds pleasure in bringing the same thing to you, you can feel just how hard he is against your thigh. So, you endeavour to return the favour to him.

“You’ve got too many clothes on,” You say breathlessly, parting from his lips to kiss your way down his jaw. Your hands also hold handfuls of the material that’s keeping his skin away from yours.

“Take them off me then, Sweetheart,” Matty purrs into your ear and he feels you shiver beneath him.

You comply and carry on kissing down his neck until you reach the collar of his black crewneck. It’s at that point you tug it up his back and Matty helps get rid of it when it bunches at his shoulders.

Once that was off him, Matty rolls the both of you over so he’s below you and your straddling his waist. You kiss your way down his bare chest, liking the feeling of his muscles tensing underneath your touch.

Like his hands, yours move down his body faster than your lips do. You’re thankful he’s not got a belt on today as you’re able to just unbutton his jeans and he does the same as you, raising his hips so you can get the material off.

Just like him, you like to tease. So, when he is completely bare beneath you, you don’t give him what he wants straight away.

Instead, your lips are currently appreciating his We Are Kings tattoo at his hip, and your fingers linger around near where he wants you most. You teasingly drag a finger up and down his cock, loving the sound of his moans slipping from his desperate lips.

“Y/N, I’m hard as a fucking rock, please just do something,” Matty pleads, feeling you tease him once again.

You look up at him, when his hand laces into your dark hair. You teasingly ask the desperate man, “What do you want first?”

“Anything,” Matty gasps with a dry mouth, the anticipation killing him.  

“Make a decision,” You grin up at him, your lips getting closer and closer to where you know he wants them.  

Matty instructs in a pleading tone, “Your mouth. Please.” and you smirk at the way he moans when your thumb swipes over the precum at the tip of his cock.

Satisfied that he was desperate enough to not play games today, you hum as you take him into your mouth. You feel his hands lace even tighter into the back of your hair to keep you on him.

You and blowjobs are a match made in heaven, or Matty believes so anyway. The way you respond to his silent encouragement of what he likes is like something else.

Usually, he has to guide a girl giving him head verbally, but not you. You’re already a step ahead during the entire thing.

And that piece of metal in your tongue is something Matty wants you to keep forever. He was apprehensive the first time about it, but holy fuck, it adds to the whole thing ten times over.

Looking down at you and seeing your mouth wrapped around him makes Matty have to stop himself from finishing there and then. He’d dreamt of it so many times, he can’t believe it’s happened more than once in real life now.

You look so fucking good bobbing up and down on him. Especially when Matty’s hand tugs a little on your hair and you look up at him, carrying on as he watches you.

It turns you on watching him. You love seeing him fall apart beneath you as he’s desperately trying his best to prolong the ecstasy that your mouth is bringing him.

But you know that watching you gets him close pretty quickly. So, it’s no surprise when Matty pulls you off him and tugs on your hair, encouraging you to come back up to him.

You crawl up over his body and ask your curly haired brunette, “Want me properly now, Matty?”

“Fuck me,” Matty gasps at your dirty words and he moans as you kiss him roughly, biting his lip as you pull away.

You chuckle, “That’s the idea.”

Matty’s too desperate for your games then. Quickly, he reaches over to his bedside drawer and pulls out a condom. He sits up and gets it on within seconds, both so eager for the intimate act now that you don’t even kiss each other like you normally would in the moments between.

When he’s ready, you sink down onto him and have to settle yourself for a moment, savouring the feeling of him inside you. He felt different to Peter in such a better way, you’re sure of it.

You tried to compare the feeling to Alex, but you can’t. You just simply can’t remember.

Not that you want to. You just remember that what happened between you and him was good and that it felt good. But back then you didn’t know what you were doing or what you liked, so this is an entirely different scenario to that.

Both you and Matty moan as your bodies connect. The noise alone turns the other on even more and it’s really a surprise to Matty that he’s lasted so long.

He knows from the way you’d worked him up that he wasn’t going to last long inside you. But he’d be damn sure to make you have your orgasm before he got his.

“Sweetheart, you feel so fucking good,” Matty moans, pressing a kiss to your neck.

“Yeah?” You grin slightly cockily.

Matty nods and he can’t stop himself from wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you impossibly closer to him. You can feel him deeper inside you when he does that, and you can’t help but release a loud, satisfied moan at the feeling.

“So do you,” You moan out, feeling so full.

The both of you take a few seconds, basking in the bliss that being this close to each other gives you. You kiss him like you have all the time in the world to do only that, but it slowly turns more heated and needy when lips are bitten and Matty’s hands move to your hips which encourages you to move.

It’s euphoric, and the wave of pleasure washes over you both when you do. You definitely love this position; it might be your favourite one. Well, when you were after soft sex anyway.

You wrap your arm around Matty’s neck, giving you some leverage to move. Both of you are moaning into the others mouths at one point, feeling the ecstasy rise in both your bodies.

You’re slow with the rolls of your hips, liking how he feels against you, not wanting to rush anything. You’re both kissing each other again now, the occasional moan slipping from your mouths when you sink back down onto him.

But after a little bit you start moving quicker, needing your release to come faster than it was building. You feel so good, you just want it to continue and progress to the next level.

It’s at that point though that Matty feels like he can’t last much longer. He could only stand a minute of your new faster pace before he has to get you on the same level as him.

So, Matty moves one hand from your hip to between your legs, finding your clit and he teases fast circles, so your orgasm builds faster until you reach the same point he’s at. Initially, when he does that, you let out a loud moan down his ear as his fingers aid in building the pleasure that you can feel tightening in your lower stomach.

You try your best to hold on for as long as you can like that, but your body is desperate for release. So, before you’re even fully aware of it, you feel your orgasm approaching.

“Matty,” You moaned out, “I’m gonna-”

Matty interrupts, “Let go for me, Sweetheart,” he encourages, and he starts sucking on that sweet spot on your neck.

And that’s all you need for pure bliss to overcome your entire body. Your orgasm shakes your entire body, and the experience is unearthly. You’re sure you stop breathing for a second as it hits you so hard.  

You try your best to keep your shaking body moving for Matty’s sake, but your body falters slightly for a second and pauses its movements. Matty’s fingers still work you through your orgasm, making it even more intense than the last one he brought to you.

Still hazy, you push Matty’s fingers away so you can get your wits about you and you start your movements again to get Matty his own high. Which seems to hit him all at once when you do.

He can still feel you pulsing around him and that, combined with you pulling on his hair and you starting to move again, gets him big time. He moans your name loudly down your ear, which is the sexiest way you’d heard your name fall from someone’s lips.

After a minute, you stop moving to let each of you savour the way you’re feeling right now. You’re just clinging to each other in a state of complete bliss.

As you both come back around, you ease your grip on his body. You hadn’t realised your nails were digging into his skin, you could see little marks on his pale skin where you’d left crescent moon markings behind.  

You take a few deep breaths before softly kissing his neck a few times as an apology of sorts if you hurt him. You doubted you had though.

“You get better every time, Sweetheart,” Matty tells you after another few silent seconds of hearing both of you catch your breaths.

You chuckle a little at that before you pick your head up to look into those beautiful brown eyes of his. You smile and tilt your head to the side when you say, “As do you, Curly.”

He kisses you sweetly then and you have to control your grin when you kiss him back. Something about Matty just makes you smile, especially in moments like these.

“Sorry, Sweetheart,” Matty says, releasing his hold on you, “But I need to just…” your curly haired brunette trails off before reclining himself back onto his bed.

You grin, seeing that he’s pretty knackered after that. You chuckle, “It’s fine… I’ll just-”

You attempt to lift yourself off of him but Matty’s hands fly back to your hips, pausing your actions, “Don’t move.”

You stop any attempt at doing so, seeing his eyes look at you in a pleading way. God, he’s so fucking adorable, you can’t say no.

“Just…” He trails off before gently pulling you down into his chest.

You chuckle softly as your chest meets his, “Matty, you’re still inside me.”

“Oh, I know,” He nods, “Just stay there a minute, please.”

You comply with what he’s asked of you, evidently both feeling the need to bask in what just happened. You see from your position in the centre of his chest that his eyes are closed and his fingertips have started to draw lazy patterns up your back.

You find the satisfaction that he does from the interaction. Both just calmly lying there.

You can't help but smile hearing his heartbeat slowly returning back to its normal pace. It was a nice calm that fell between you.

But you think that Matty may have gotten too calm for your liking, because you feel his fingers stop their tracing of your skin and just rest on your back. You glance up at him again and see a very peaceful look on his face.

You’re almost certain that he could be asleep within the next minute if you didn't do anything.

You pick your head up off his chest and softly whisper, “Matty, don’t fall asleep on me.”

You kiss his chest a few times to keep him awake, and you intend to carry on with that until he looks down at you. Or that was your plan, until you felt him twitch inside you.

You pause then, looking up at the curly haired brunette below you. Now, he has a coy smile gracing his lips and he glances down at you, his brown eyes once again meeting your Y/E/C ones.

He grins a little when he tells you, “Now you know what you do to me every single time I see you and what happens when you tease me.”

“Every time?” You question and he nods.

“Every time.”

Your cheeks go a little hot then, and you decide to change the subject. “We need to get up,” You say, now again aware that you were meant to be meeting the others and going out later.

“I’d rather we fuck again,” Matty tells you honestly as his fingertips trace up and down your back once more.  

“You know that we don’t have the time,” You say, sitting yourself back up before getting off him.

You whimper at the loss of the full feeling inside of you and Mattys lips find yours again a moment later as a sort of apology. But in reality he’d take any excuse to kiss you again.

You’re lying beside him when Matty asks, “Well, if we can’t fuck again straight away, can we at least shower together?”

“I’ve not done that before,” You say honestly.

Matty offers you a warm smile then, “You want to?”

“If you promise it’s just a shower,” You grin, “We don’t have time to make things interesting.”

After glancing at his clock you see that it’s just gone 4:30 and you were sure you were meant to be heading out from Adam’s house at 6:30 or 7.

“As long as we can make things interesting at some point again whilst you're still over,” Matty says, his brown eyes are bright and he’s just radiating happiness.

You nod, grinning, “We’ve got all summer.”

“I like that,” Matty tells you honestly.

“So do I.”

Before you know it you’re both stepping under the warm water in Matty’s bathroom. You marvel in it, feeling like the heat from the water relaxed some unknown tension in your body.

Matty’s standing close to you, encouraging you to stay close to him. He ends up leading the encounter as you are not really too sure if you’re meant to just get about your business together or wash each other's hair.

Matty says it's more of the latter so that is what you both do. You’ve just washed each other down with the now very soapy shower scrunchie and you both giggle your way through it when the suds bunch up and Matty starts collecting them to put on top of your head.

“How come you never showered with your ex?” Matty asks, feeling you drizzle the shampoo into his wet curls.

He hopes the question isn't too invasive, not wanting you to recoil into yourself at the mention of someone you were once close to. He’s thankful when you answer him.

“All Uni flats were either shared bathrooms, so definitely not there, or was really tiny like the one you saw. My shower at home is too small and his was a tiny cubicle one so we’d have never fit,” You tell him as you rub the shampoo into his locks, watching as a mass of white bubbles form in his hair.

Before you know it, each time you move your hands around his hair more bubbles form and cause his hair to stiffen, moulding it into different shapes. You take this to your advantage and grin up at him, moulding his hair up into a mohican.

Matty chuckles as he watches you do this, loving watching you giggle at his new found hair style and at the feeling of your hands in his hair. He loved that feeling almost as much as he loved you pulling on his hair.

“This is a very nice shower though,” You grin as you move him back under the shower so he can rinse his hair out.

He turns away from you as he does this, because boys are weird and face the shower when they wash their hair. You couldn't understand why as the shampoo trickles down onto Matty’s face and you hate even watching that.

The pain of shampoo in your eye isn't even worth risking it.

So as you let him rid his hair of the shampoo, you take in your surroundings. It was practically a wet room, the only thing that blocked the shower from the rest of the room being a tall pain of glass that helped hold up a large showerhead that simulates rain falling on the two of you.

You grin when Matty turns back to you, “Might come back just for the shower.”

“You can come whenever you like as long as I can join you in here,” Matty grins, pulling you into his body a little so you’d be under the flow of water too.

“Course,” You smile before leaning up to capture his lips in a kiss.

Matty dips his head a little making the kiss easier for the both of you. He keeps you close against him when he parts for a second to remind you, “I thought we couldn’t make things interesting.”

“We can’t, but I wanna kiss you,” You say before capturing his lips again, enjoying the feeling of kissing him under the hot water.  

Matty hums into the kiss to show you he’s enjoying it but he does pull away after a moment to say, “I wanna kiss you too, but we’ll get carried away.”

“Maybe I just really need some kisses,” You say, a little breathless, looking into his brown eyes through your wet eyelashes.

Matty smiles hearing that. He does a little digging though, wanting confirmation about something that he’d picked up on over the last week or two.

He asks before pecking your lips, “You like aftercare kisses then?”

“Mmhmm,” You hum before attaching your lips back to his.

Matty just lets himself enjoy the moment then, liking that you're in his arms, in his shower, kissing him.

Matty can't help but see if you're up for any more fun now. He lets his hands drop from the small of your back to your arse.

“Control yourself,” You half laugh, pulling away when his hand squeezes your arse.

“Hard to do when there’s a naked girl dripping wet in front of me,” Matty says a little crudely. But he smiles along with his chuckle, “I apologise that you’re the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

You’re flattered by his compliment but that doesn't mean you accept it. You shake your head, “Matty I’m not.”

“You are, and I don’t wanna hear any self hate,” He says, pressing his lips to yours once more before he pulls away properly, “Now please turn around so I can get a good look at that arse, and so I can wash your hair.”

You laugh at him before you turn yourself around. He was so fucking cute, you just wanted to stay locked away in here with him forever.

“Yeah,” Matty nods, looking you up and down, “You’re stunning, Wheels.”

You laugh a bit at that before you grab the shampoo and hand it to Matty over your shoulder.

“Head back Sweetheart,” He instructs and you do what he asks.

You feel him drizzle the liquid on the top of your hair and he hands you the shampoo back to put on the shelf. You then start to enjoy the fact that his fingers are massaging the coconutty liquid into your hair.

“Now what should we turn you into?” You hear him ask, but you keep your eyes closed wanting to avoid any soapy liquid.

“My hair’s well longer than yours, it won’t work,” You tell him, peaking at him slightly.

“Try me,” Matty says grinning down at you.

You both are giggling away as Matty tries to mould your hair into different shapes. You probably spend more time in the shower laughing than you would have done fucking.

But you wouldn’t change it for the world.

At one point Matty almost slipped which made you laugh loudly as he clung to you to get his balance again. All in all you both probably spent 45 minutes in the shower which you were both shocked by when you came out.

You both got yourselves dressed quickly knowing you needed to be out soon. You’d just got your bra back so you were now roaming about Matty’s room in your jeans and bra trying to find your shirt.

After a good minute of looking, even looking under his bed you still couldn’t find the thin material.

“Matty, I can’t find my shirt,” You tell him, getting yourself back to your feet.  

He furrowed his eyebrows, glancing around the room before he looked back at you. He asks you, “Where did you put it?”

“Me?” You scoff, “Matty you unbuttoned it and threw it off me.”

Matty smirked at you then, pulling a hoodie over his black top, “Details, details.”

You chuckle a little at that and look around for another few seconds but it’s nowhere to be found. You sigh a little, looking at your curly haired friend and ask, “Can I pinch a top then? Because I can’t stay like this.”

Matty pouts, “Aw, why not?”

You just giggle and Matty chuckles, “Yeah, sure.”

He wanders over to his wardrobe and opens it up to you.

“Help yourself,” He offers, gesturing to his clothes.

You stand yourself beside him and ask, “Can’t you just give me one that you won’t mind me stealing?”

“You can steal whatever you like. It’ll look better on you anyway,” Matty tells you with a little smile.

“You’re so cheesy,” You giggle, “What film did you steal that from?”

“Shut it, Wheels,” Matty nudges you and you just carry on giggling.  

You laugh a little as you steal another shirt from Mattys wardrobe. You go for a black button up, and whilst the wardrobe is at your disposal, you also steal one of his black hoodies and tie it around your waist.

After you dry your hair, you both head back to Adam’s house in your car. As you’re driving though, you realise that you don’t actually know where you’re all heading out.

Your eyes are still on the road when you ask Matty, “So, where are we off tonight?”

“The fair,” The brunette tells you.

You glance at him confused, “What fair?”

“A fair came in and it's a pretty decent one actually. Takes up most of the field just across from the park,” He tells you and you listen with interest.

You hadn’t been to a fair in years, you all of a sudden felt like a kid again getting a treat.

“Is it just us lot going, or is everyone else going too?” You ask curiously.

“Erm, I think everyone’s gonna be there as it's only around for a few more days but it’s just us going together, ” Matty tells you, “We’ll probably go in your car and Hann will meet us there, though.”

You frown a little, “Why? I’ve got a five seater car.”

“Oh, he’s not told you?” Matty grins and you look at him noting his amusement.

“Told me what?”

Matty grins when he tells you, “He’s got a date.”

Your jaw drops, “With who?”

“A girl called Rebecca” Matty tells you and he explains that he knows her from his uni.

Apparently she lives a ten minute drive away from your aunt's house but she went to a different high school to all of them. You were buzzing with this new information.

“What’s she like?” You ask excitedly.

Matty just shrugs, “Yeah, she’s alright.”

Matty evidently didn't have the same excitement that you did about the subject but that didn't deter you from asking more questions.

“Is she nice?” You press on.

Matty chuckles at that question, “Yeah, she’s especially nice to your cousin.”

You giggle a little at that, asking, “I’m assuming that comment had sexual undertones on purpose?”

“Yeah,” Matty grins when he looks towards you.

“Is he going out with her then?” You ask, assuming that your cousin wouldn't sleep with someone outside of a relationship.

However, you were completely wrong.

“Well they’ve been seeing each other casually and have been for a fair few months but they’ve been seeing each other more the past few weeks,” Matty tells you.

And then it suddenly makes sense. Adam had been a bit absent the past few weeks you’d been here, but you were also quite distracted by Matty to take much notice of it.  

“Adam in a casual relationship?” You ask, a little in disbelief.

You didn't really think your cute little cousin was the type. But you guess you learn new things every day.

“Sort of like what we have going on,” Matty nods, “Except they’ve been doing it longer and want a relationship out of it it seems.”

“Fair enough,” You nod. You can't help but grin asking about Adam’s possible girlfriend, “Is she pretty?”

“Not prettier than you,” Matty responds immediately.

You roll your eyes, “No. I wasn’t asking for a compliment, I actually want to know if she’s pretty or not.”

Matty grins at you then, catching your eye, “I know you weren’t, but you’re pretty and I wanna tell you that.”

“You’re cute, Curly,” You grin back at him, reaching your hand up to ruffle his curls.

You giggle when he bats your hand away, “Is she pretty though?”

“She’s alright,” He just shrugs.

You guess that you’d have to be the judge of that when you meet her. The other boys were no help at all when you picked them up so you did end up finding that she was fucking stunning when you met her by the fairs carpark when you met up with Adam about half an hour later.

“Hi,” Rebecca says with a smile.  

“Hey, good to meet you,” You grin.

“You too,” She double checks, “Y/N right?”

“Yeah,” You nod, “Rebecca?”

She nods, leaning into your cousin a little more, “Yep.”

You want to scream in happiness for your cousin, but you can't help but tell her, “You’re really pretty.”

“Oh thank you,” Rebecca grins, a little embarrassed by the compliment. “You look really cool. Love the fishnets under the jeans.”

“Thanks,” You grin, the skinny jeans you wore had the knees ripped and the fishnet looked like you wore the tights underneath.

“Yeah that’s her thing,” Adam tells her with a grin and a glance at you, but his eyes don't stray from her for too long.

“Alright Ad,” You scoff, “Can speak for myself.”

He playfully shoves your shoulder back, causing you to almost fall into Matty. You stick your finger up at your cousin, which causes Rebecca to laugh.

After that you all make your way inside and pay for the wristbands. It wasn't too bad, £20 for the full night and unlimited access to everything the fair had to offer.

The only thing you'd have to pay for is the fair games and the food. You were really excited for the night ahead.

All of a sudden you were all ready and waiting to get going on a ride or something. You can't seem to decide where to head first until George suggested, “Let’s go into the fun house together, yeah?

“Okay,” Ross agrees and you all follow along and get in line.

You’d never been in a fun house before but you can see that it’s essentially what Sandy and Danny sing along in during the Grease finale song. You all wait about five minutes before they allow your group of six on.

And when you get on you find yourself towards the back of your group of friends. George and Ross went ahead, followed by Adam and Rebecca then you and Matty.  

You were pretty glad of the order that you were in though, because Rebecca would turn back and warn you of what was ahead and tell you how she found it easy to get across the moving floor or how the platform wobbled beneath her. You were also thankful that Matty was behind you because you knew he’d break your fall if you decked it.

For the most part it was pretty easy, the floor either moving back and forth or spinning. The bit that was the most difficult was the mirror maze, especially when there was a gap between Adam and Rebecca in front of you.

You thought you were being tricked with everywhere that you looked, and it made it worse that Matty's chest was against your back hurrying you along when you were reaching your arms out in front of you.

Apparently he wasn't fussed if you face planted a mirror. Thankfully you avoided that, though.

The air jets made you jump from time to time when you were just singing along to the loud music that was being played throughout the house. You being scared made Matty laugh though which caused you to elbow him in his stomach more than once.  

You’re grateful when your other friends scare him. Further into the house there was a ball pit that Matty was about to jump into when you passed it. However, George jumped up out of it which caused an unsuspecting Matty to shit himself.

There were also some moving stairs that you found a little tricky as you couldn't get your footing. Matty cheekily grabbed a hold of your arse to help you up which caused him to grin for the next five minutes as you made your way around the maze you were all in.

When you manage to get your way through more spinning floors and punching bag looking things hanging from the ceiling on the second floor, you find yourself in the small queue of your group to go down the slide. After each of you got down the slide, you shouted back up to let the other person know they could go down.

Adam let Rebecca go before him and when it came to Adam going down it, Matty was begging you to get past him so he could launch himself down the side to kick your cousin in the back when he too reached the bottom. You of course didn't let him do that.

“Go on,” Matty prompts you but you turn back to him and scowl.

“If you come down this before I shout you and kick me in the fucking back, I’ll kick you in your balls,” You warn him seriously as you sit yourself down in the plastic tube.

“Sure you will, Sweetheart. Bye,” He says with disinterest, and he pushes you down the slide with no warning.

You give him a menacing look when he reaches the bottom of the slide a minute later. He just cockily grins at you.

Another few obstacles and more blasts of air that shit you, Ross, and Rebecca up later, you're at another slide. You let Matty go before you this time and he thanks you for that until you slide down just seconds after him and kick him in the back when you reach the bottom.

Matty pretends he hates you for a solid minute until your arms have circled his neck, your chest pressed against his back, kissing the back of his neck asking for forgiveness. He lets the matter slide when he gets a peck on the lips which Adam fakes his disgust at, which results in Rebecca giving him a punch in the arm.

Both you and Matty already liked Rebecca.

After the floor moves beneath you all a few more times, you find yourselves at the end of the fun house and at the best part of it. To leave the mad house you have to pass through the moving barrell.

Something which you think should be really easy as you watch Ross and George get through it with ease. You, Matty, Rebecca, and Adam watch as Ross pushes himself against the barrel securing himself there for a full revolution of it.

You're all pretty impressed by it which eases your nerves about it, but Rebecca still seems a little anxious about it. “I saw loads of people struggling with it when we were in the queue,” Rebecca tells you all.

Adam of course tries to be the guy who eases her nerves. You think because he’s trying to impress her.

“I mean I’m not doing that, but how difficult can it be?” Adam shrugs before he just braves the spinning obstacle.

Adam steps on the swirling black and white surface and for a second he's fine, that is until he isn't. You're not too sure how it happened but all of a sudden his foot has crossed over his other one and he falls down onto the cold surface with a thud.

You and Matty instantly snort in laughter before you’re both clutching each other trying to control your giggles. Bless Rebecca though, because she was trying her best not to laugh whilst she was asking if he was okay.

It just got funnier for everyone witnessing it though because it kept rotating, leading to Adam having to crawl to attempt to get himself on his feet again. This kept failing for him though because he had no strength to pick himself back up because he was laughing at his own idiocy too.

You and Matty were watching in tears as your cousin pathetically crawled himself out of the other side of the barrel. You just laughed even more seeing George and Ross at the other end of the barrel pissing themselves laughing at the situation too.

It was quite amusing when Rebecca got through the short moving tunnel with ease, effortlessly meeting Adam on the other side. You were also pretty relieved when you got through fine too but you found it so easy that you went back in and walked on it for a second.

Since walking into the fun house you’d felt like Sandy from Grease, and you had You’re The One That I Want stuck in your head. Matty had caught you singing it a few times and teased you for it but he likes listening to you sing, so he bit his tongue.

So to appeal to the Grease aesthetic you undid a button or two on Mattys shirt that you wore and let it hang off your shoulders a second, pretending you were wearing the same outfit Sandy wore at the end. You even got George to take a picture of you walking through the barrel like that, so you could keep the memory.

Whilst putting your shirt on right again Matty attempted a 360 like Ross did but found that he wasn't quite strong enough to complete it. But when he landed on his knees, he immediately got himself to his feet with ease and walked himself off it.  

After the fun house, you all seemed to go off separately, first starting with Adam and Rebecca leaving you almost immediately after the fun house. George and Ross joined you and Matty on the Bumper Cars, you joining Ross and George and Matty both having it out for each other before you started teaming against other people.

They also joined you on the Waltzers and the ‘Miami Trip’ ride which spun. You could all sit together in a line and it would spin you in one direction for a minute, before changing to the other. After the spinning rides were mostly over, the four of you wandered around aimlessly and paid astonishing prices for burgers and hotdogs.

Matty also bought himself a tub of popcorn which he continued to munch away on whilst you look around the fair games. You watch on amused as he keeps trying to throw the popcorn up in the air and catch it in his mouth.

He was awful at it. You were fairly certain the only time he may actually do it was if he threw the whole bucket onto his face.

You lose George to some of his other mates from school when you, Matty, and Ross were playing a shooting game to try and win a prize. Unfortunately you and Ross lost, meaning Matty got to pick a prize off the medium sized shelf.

Matty ended up choosing a cute stuffed white rabbit teddy which he adorably let you keep. Ross rolled his eyes at the gesture but it earned Matty a kiss on his cheek.

The two of you also ended up losing Ross when you stood in the queue to get on the flying elephants. It was sort of a kiddy one but there were a bunch of teenagers currently on it but apparently Ross was too cool for that sort of ride because he abandoned the two of you for his mate John who he saw across the field.

So it was you, Matty, and your white fluffy rabbit that enjoyed the rest of the fair together.

You went on all sorts of rides, some were shit but it was a travelling fair so that was to be expected. All the way round Matty had you laughing.

Whether he was using your new rabbit toy, pretending he was a magician to put it into a hat he stole from one of his mates who you briefly got speaking to, or just him trying some shitty flirty lines on you. You had a really good night with him.

“Come on let’s go to the photo booth,” You say, pulling your friend along when you see the booth free of other people.  

“Okay,” Matty agrees, both hurrying over before anyone else could get to it before you.  

Once you get there Matty sees the price on the side of it and he scoffs, “Fucking hell, four quid!”

You narrow your eyes at the brunette, “So you’ll spend four quid on a hotdog that filled you up for all of half an hour, but you won’t fork out for a picture that you can keep for a lifetime?”

“I hate that you're always right,” He tells you after a few seconds of looking like he wanted to protest.  

“You love me,” You say, pulling the curtain open and taking a seat, putting your toy rabbit on your lap.  

“I can put up with you for a few hours at a time,” Matty says, sitting down beside you after shutting the curtain.

“Offended isn’t even the word,” You shake your head, your jaw hanging open a bit.

Matty rolls his eyes, before he digs into his pockets for some money, “Come on.”

You both get £2 out of your pockets and you're pleased to see that you can get four printouts with your money. That meant that you could put one on your wall and use the other as a bookmark or something if you wanted to.

“Is it the photo strips?” Matty asks you.

“Yeah,” You nod excitedly.

You don't know why but there was something fun about getting your memories printed instantly. That was why you loved polaroids so much, because you had your memory instantly to keep forever.

“We get two each because it’s just us,” You grin.  

Matty playfully rolls his eyes at your excitement, but says, “Cute,” anyway.

“Smile,” You tell him for the first picture.  

The flash goes off and you're pleased when Matty actually complies. You think about doing something with the bunny in your lap for the second picture but the countdown of 3 comes too quickly for you to decide.

You then see the screen say 1 and you very quickly press your lips against Matty’s cheek feeling a little cute. After all, he did win you a toy rabbit.

“Awh Wheels,” Matty turns to you smiling once the flash goes off. “Aren’t you adorable.”

You laugh at that, saying a little, “I know,” before turning back to the camera.

This time Matty decides to quickly cup your jaw as you're looking towards the camera and he kisses your cheek. There was still a second left until the picture was taken so when the flash went off you were giggling.

“You’re the adorable one now, Curly,” You giggle.

He hums grinning at you. “Not more than you, Sweetheart.”

You shake your head a little at his complement then, not really wanting to accept it. The pet name also made your cheeks heat up a little.

But before Matty could comment about his effect on you, you lean up and kiss him. Matty immediately kisses you back, loving the taste of the candy floss on your lips.

You both only get jolted out of the kiss when the flash comes again and you both realise that your kiss had just been photographed. You both laugh a little pulling away, as you both genuinely weren't thinking about the final photo.

Whilst the strips printed out in front of you, both you and Matty picked up one and admired the photos. They were so fucking cute.

“These are adorable,” You grin, “But I want silly ones now.”

Matty’s eyes roll again, whining, “Y/N.”

You know he'd moan about the price again so you stop him, “Get over it, you’ll have them forever.”

And thankfully he got over it. You end up taking for more photos of you both doing stupid stuff.

For example you both go cross eyed on one of the pictures, the next you’re sticking your tongues out. You were just having some childish fun, loving that you were getting photographed as you did it.

You went on a few more rides afterwards, making sure both your picture and your bunny were alright. But soon enough the crowds were thinning out and there wasn't much left to go on.

You’d been on most things more than once, except for one little thing. Well, big thing.

You both hadn’t gone on the ferris wheel. It was a pretty tall one too, so you were fairly excited to head up on it, hoping that the view was nice from up there.

“Come on?” You pull Matty along towards the beautiful structure that was full of multicoloured lights.

“Erm, no,” Matty pulls you back around to face him when you get a few meters away from the queue.

You send him a confused look, “What do you mean no? I’ve been wanting to go on it all night.”

And that was something which was true, but every time Matty saw you look at the structure, which was easily 40 foot tall, he pulled you in the other direction. But he knew that he’d have to tell you the truth now.

“I don’t like heights,” Matty sighs, feeling a little embarrassed.

“You don’t like heights?” You question with furrowed eyebrows, not quite believing him.

He shakes his head, “No, I don’t.”

You dont believe him for a second and you grab his wrist pulling him back to the queue, “Matty, stop fucking about please.”

He pulls you back once more though, saying, “Wheels, I’m being serious. I really don’t like it.”

You can see the fear in his eyes when he tells you that. You also notice that the confident guy that he was, seems to have disappeared.

“Oh okay,” You say, letting go of his arm, “We don’t have to.”

“But you want to,” Matty says, feeling bad, looking at the structure thinking that maybe he could brave it.  

You shake your head though, “It’s okay, it doesn’t matter.”

He knows how much you've silently been wanting to go on it though, so he changes his mind, “No it’s okay we can go.”

“It’s fi-” You start.

“We’re going on it,” Matty says, pulling you into the queue, “You can just hold my hand and I’ll just not look down.”

“We can just go back to the Waltzers?” You offer him an alternative, not wanting him to feel uncomfortable doing anything.

“Just come on Wheels, before I change my mind,” Matty says, taking a hold of your hand already.

Ten minutes later you're in your own little cabin with Matty sitting next to you, and your fingers are intertwined. You can tell he's uneasy at the height you’re at and you’re only half way up.

“How did you go on The Big One if you don't like heights?” You question him, remembering your trip to Blackpool back in the Easter holidays.

Matty’s eyes fix on you instead of the metal compartment you’re sat in then and he explains, “I’d only just kissed you and i wasnt about to act like a massive fucking wimp after that, was I?”

You laugh a little at that before the curly haired brunette adds, “Plus, your only at the top of the big one for ten seconds at most, yeah the climb is fucking awful but once you drop your on your way and its over not long after that.”

“Is everything you do to impress me?” You joke with a little smirk.

“Everything the past four years has been, yeah,” Matty chuckles, his thumb rubbing the back of your hand.

You smile at him, shaking your head a little, “Take it easy now, yeah?”

“Promise,” Matty grins.

You put your pinky up then and he laughs before hooking his pinky around yours.

Unfortunately for Matty the ride pauses itself for a few daunting minutes where you’re both at the top and the wind makes the metal cabin wobble. Some awful noises also sound from the metal contraption that scare even you, so to distract you both you end up kissing your curly haired boy.

You’re fully getting off with each other by the time the wheel starts moving again and Matty carries on kissing you until you're almost on the ground again. That’s when Matty knows he’d probably do just about anything with you by his side.

~*~*~*~

Three weeks later you’re sitting in your Aunt and Uncles lounge with Adam and Matty watching Borat for the millionth time. You all liked the film so you chose that to pass your time, but because you’d seen it before you elected to text your friends back.

Adam had just paused the film, waiting for Matty to return from the bathroom before his favourite part of the film came on.

“Who are you texting?” Your cousin asks, obviously bored and curious.

You glance up at him as you say, “Alex.”  

“Alex Alex?” Adam asks, evidently hinting at the lead singer of Arctic Monkeys.  

You nod. “Yeah.”

“He alright?” Adam asks.  

“Yeah, he’s grand,” You nod, “I think he’s flirting with me, you know?” You say glancing back down to your phone rereading your last few texts.  

“I heard flirting,” Matty says with wide eyes when he comes back in and takes the seat beside you.  

“Yeah,” You nod, “I think my friend from back home is flirting with me.”

“Get flirting back then,” Matty instructs you, “We didn’t raise a quitter.”

You liked that about yours and Matty’s weird friendship/relationship. You were having casual sex but it wasnt weird at all of either of you to encourage the other to flirt or see someone else.

“What did he put?” Matty asks you, leaning over to look at the screen on your phone.

You tell him as he reads the message himself, “Well earlier he asked me if I wanted to go out into town for food with him next month and he’s just put now that he ‘can’t wait to see me when I come back home.’ ”

The Monkeys had got back to High Green a week ago now and it was weird for both you and Alex not being there to greet them when they returned. You were usually the first to come and give them some company so it was strange to the both of you not seeing each other.

“Okay, so how many kisses did he put?” Adam asks, evidently trying to see if there was actual flirting going on.

“Just one,” You say, second guessing yourself.

“Okay, so you need to put three back and if you get three from him you know he’s playing ball,” Matty tells you.

“All well and good putting the kisses on the end if I knew what to reply,” You say, not actually having thought about your reply yet.

Matty scoffs, “It’s not that difficult Y/N/N, you don't need to overtly flirt back straight away.”

Matty takes your phone off your then, “Put this…” and you watch as he types out the message and sends it without your consent.

Can’t wait to see you too xx Miss you loads xxx

“He will think I’ve had an aneurysm,” You sigh rereading the text he’d just sent.

Matty waves you off, “He’ll bite.”

You shake your head, “He knows about you though.”

Matty laughs dryly at that, not seeing it to be an issue, “What? Has he not had sex before? Is he scared you’re going to ruin him?”

“Erm no, I think he’s good in that department,” You say, very aware of how many girls had started lusting over your best friend in the last few years, “He can get who he wants.”

Matty smirks then, “Oh so you’re making him work for it.”

“Fucking hell,” You shake your head, not believing you were haing this conversation with your cousin and the guy you were shagging.

You all watch the film again, not having anyone else to reply too just yet. That is until a few minutes later when your text tone goes off.

You smile seeing it’s Alex who replied.

Miss you loads too xx Just want you back here with me feels like I haven’t seen you in forever xx

“See, told you he’d bite,” Matty tells you, leaning on your shoulder to see the message.

“Not got the three kisses though,” You say, maybe you definitely were reading into things earlier.

But Matty urges you on, as if he wasnt the one who’d be fucking you later, “Carry on until you get them.”

“Right so now what?” You ask like someone who’s never flirted over text before.

You then realise that you're about to fall into a conversation where you’re trying to get Alex to flirt with you. You wonder if that's a bridge you want to cross again.

“Tell him you miss him but be dramatic about it,” Matty says, almost brushing you off as Borat once again gets him and your cousin laughing.

After thinking it over in your mind, you decide it's a game you think you wanted to play. After all, there were much worse people out there than Alex.

I know xx I’m missing you more than normal too. Think it’s because you’re back home and I know you’re right there xxx

You think about yours and Alex’s situation a little more. You almost forgot that you kissed on your birthday, but when you remember that, and how it felt, you find that maybe if you and Alex gave it another shot it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

A few minutes go by before you receive the next one. But you're smiling like a Cheshire cat when you read it.

This is what you feel like all the time?? Because if it is I might have to tell Colin and Ian to stop booking shows xxx

A minute later another one comes through too which makes your smile even bigger.

The pain is excruciating xxx

“You’ve got the three kisses, haven't you?” You hear Adam ask and when you look up at him he’s grinning at you.

You nod, feeling your cheeks get a little hot being caught enjoying someone's flirting.

“Told you, Wheels,” Matty grins, nudging you a little.

They both leave you to your texts after that though and you found that the flirting continues on even when you’re not being entirely flirty.

Come back early?? Wanna spend more time with you before I go away xx

You try and hold back the smile off your face reading that. You wished that you could, but you’d already made commitments to your Mum, Aunt, and Uncle about all going out for dinner when your Mum flies into Manchester when she gets back off her work trip in two weeks time.

Wish I could x But me and Adam have got a dinner we’ve gotta go to ),: xx

You think that was the easiest way you could explain it. You are disappointed to let him down and you are sad about the fact you won't see him for another three weeks but you’ll have him for a full month after that.

:’( Just want to have a cuddle xxx

You break out into a full grin then. Your heart beating slightly faster at the sweet but flirty message.

Yeah you both loved a good cuddle when you got back home, but it wasn't like you made the plans well in advance. Maybe you would tell each other you wanted a hug on the phone but this was unusual for the two of you.

You ponder over what to reply to him then. You want to flirt back but you also don't want it to be overtly sexual in any way. But then something clicks in your mind and you can't stop yourself from doing it.

Cuddles in the kitchen to get things off the ground??? Xxx

Alex’s message comes in an agonising minute later and you're grinning like a lunatic when you read it.

You wanna get things off the ground?? Xxx

But you're stumped as to what to reply.

“I don’t know what to put,” You tell the boys you’re sat with, needing their help.

“You’ve not been telling us the texts,” Matty says, glancing back over to you.

Adam also sits himself up straighter, making himself a bit more alert so he can help you out.

You're embarrassed to admit, mostly to Adam because he knew who you were texting, “I made a joke from a song.”

“What’d you put?” Your cousin asks.  

You hesitantly tell him, “I questioned if he wanted cuddles in the kitchen to get things off the ground?”

“Not this Arctic Monkeys shit again,” Matty shakes his head at the same time Adam’s face drops.

He looks like he wanted to disown you.

“You gimp,” Adam shakes his head, “I can’t believe you’ve said that.”

“Just stop and tell me what to reply,” You say, trying to block out your own embarrassment, “He asked me if I wanted to get things off the ground?”

“Just put something like well there’s time for it when I get home,” Matty tells you, not really caring much if you’re still lying about this ‘knowing Arctic Monkeys’ bullshit.

You take his advice and change it up a little so it’s flirty.

Well we’ve certainly got the time to test that out when you get back off holiday xxx

You squeal like a little girl when you get the reply though a minute later.

Come back early and we can test it now xxxx

Both boys in the room were looking at you like you’d gone crazy. Your happiness at whatever the text read was clearly plastered all over your face.

Matty can’t help himself asking, “Do you react like that when I flirt with you over text?”

You look at your curly haired brunette and nod “Yeah.”

You add with a bit of honesty, “Worse with you though, most of the time. Feels more risky, more adventurous.”

Matty was happy with that.

~*~*~*~

The three weeks that you had left flew by faster than you would have liked them to. So you decided to stay an extra week, knowing there wasn’t really much point in going home until Alex was back.

You were spending your last night in Manchester at Matty’s, both knowing it was the last night you’d be seeing each other as you were.

In the past few weeks, something had changed a little between the two of you. You spent more time together alone, not even having sex, just liking the others company a lot of the time.

You seem to put the other at ease and that was something you both craved. So most of the time when Matty wasn’t at work, you would be with him.

Each day this happened more and more and suddenly the lines you drew for this weird relationship you had got increasingly blurred. You both silently felt like you were slipping into a relationship.

But now as you lay next to each other in his bed, after having more amazing sex, things felt sort of final. Like it was ending.

Which it was. You were going home tomorrow night, and Matty would only have until early afternoon with you.

You were under the covers facing each other, your bodies not too far away from each other. You had one of Matty’s tops on, acting as your pyjamas, and you were both lazily talking away.

All of a sudden Matty asks, “You’re not just gunna never come back now, are you? Now you’ve had your way with me.”

You chuckle a little at that, “Don’t be stupid,” You smile, “You know I love coming here.”

“I do know,” Matty grins, because you had set up the joke so well for him.

“You love cumming, right here,” Matty says, looking down at your body and to his bed.

Your cheeks heat up then and Matty sees your flustered look which makes him smirk.

“Sweetheart we’ve done a lot of dirty shit this summer and you’re blushing at me saying that?” He questions, a little amused. “You didn’t even blush when we suggested anal.”

“Stop. You’re being loud,” You shush him, knowing his Dad, who came back last week, was definitely home from the pub by now.

“I don’t complain when you’re loud,” Matty says, tracing his fingertips up and down your arm that was over the covers. He continues, “In fact, I encourage it.”

“Matty,” You shake your head.

“Just…” You trail off, about to tell him to shut up but you know that he actually will if you kiss him.

He kisses you back, letting the teasing go. He could tell that you wanted to savour the kiss and he was glad he wasn’t the only one.

The kiss lasts no longer than a minute but when you pull away, you feel a little overwhelmed knowing it was one of your last ones after a summer filled with them.

“Thank you,” You tell him.

Matty asks, “What for?”

“This,” You nod between you both. “This summer.”

You say with a little bit of a heavy heart, “Life’s been pretty tough back home and coming here’s always been my escape... But you’ve made me happy and I just wanna thank you for that,” You smile.

“Sweetheart you don’t have to thank me,” Matty says, tucking a strand of dark hair behind your ear before his hand goes back to tracing the skin on your arm.

“Well, I want to,” You smile.

But it turns into a slightly sadder one when you say, “I don’t think I’ve been happy for a long time.”

He takes the back of your hand and kisses it a few times which melts your heart. Even more so when he says, “You deserve nothing but happiness Sweetheart.”

Your smile is the most genuine it’s been for a long while. Matty had never failed to make you feel the best anyone had before. He treated you so well and you adored him for it.

And it makes you not want to forget anything about this summer. And what better way to do that than to get a reminder permanently on your body.

“Wanna get a tattoo with me tomorrow?” You ask your curly haired brunette.

“Sure,” Matty nods, “What are we getting?”

“A cute little ferris wheel?” You suggest, thinking it was rather adorable.

Matty backtracks then though, “Okay, maybe I’ll just come with you and hold you hand.”

“Oh come on,” You laugh at his joking, “It’s not like you cared about what any of your other tattoos are.”

He had the Mortal Kombat symbol tattooed on his arm for fucks sake. And you knew he let the guys in that tattoo shop practice on his legs for a discounted rate.

He was littered in ones he didn’t really care about. The most important to him, if not his Mortal Kombat one, would probably be the roses he had on his feet for his Mum and Dad.

“Fine,” Matty grins, not backing out on you. But he cheekily adds, “But I want a kiss as payment.”

“Sold,” You giggle before you lean in to kiss him.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Ten days after your departure was when Matty found himself longing over you again. But it wasn't his fault.

You left reminders of yourself everywhere. If it wasn't a memory in his head, it was a real object.

And even when a full day goes by that you’d not been in his head, a reminder of you always likes to make its appearance.

Matty goes over to his desk and takes a seat, trying to find the book he’d started at the beginning of summer. He liked reading but it wasn't anywhere near as attention grabbing as you.  

As he sits at his desk though, he spots the reminder of you. Matty just didn't know it fully yet.

Matty sees a piece of white material hanging over the corner of the desk which makes his eyebrows furrow, having no clue what it was. He leans over the desk and grabs at it, making sure whatever it is doesn’t fall further down the side of his desk.

When he pulls it up, he sees that the white material has red, pink, and blue on it too and he quickly understands where the shirt had come from.

It was the shirt that he hastily took off you that day when you came back from Sheffield. The white one with the colourful peonies and little blue leaves all over it.

He remembered how beautiful it looked on you when you entered his house dressed like that, in your shirt and black jeans. But he must admit that you got even more beautiful when those layers of clothes were taken off, revealing that sexy red set underneath.

But Matty was fairly certain you’d look amazing in anything you showed up in. Because you were just gorgeous.

Looking at the shirt Matty paused his hunt for his book. He uses the time to instead reminisce about your summer together.

All the sex. All the late nights chatting and kissing. But most of all he just thinks of you and your gorgeous smile.

In his memories you’re always smiling, your lips pulled back to show your teeth and he can hear your laugh as if you’re in the room with him still. The banter that goes between the five of you all together warms Matty's heart.

But just the thought of you in general is what brings Matty happiness.

He thinks you’ll want the top back, so because he’s accidentally kept it captive for almost two months he lifts it to his nose to see if it needs washing. Regardless though, he’d wash it for you, but he wanted to check first.

But on this shirt, he found your smell. And Matty couldn’t bring himself to take that scent away.

The curly haired brunette just finds himself sat there for ages contemplating what to do with himself. And when he calls you up at 1:02 later that night he finds that he can’t tell you he’s found it.

Because that shirt was the only thing that Matty had to remember your summer by. Sure he had the tattoo at the top of his left ankle, just like you did, but he feels like he had nothing physical.

He didn’t have you to hold on to anymore.

But the shirt that still captured your smell, was something he could hold on to. Something to keep the memory of your time together alive.

By the end of the summer Matty didn’t know what you were. The lines were blurred and he couldn’t tell.  

All he knew for certain was that he wasn’t at the same point at what he was at the beginning of summer. And he was certain you weren’t either.

Friend with benefits? Lovers? On the bring of forming an actual relationship?

He truly didn’t know what you were classed as. Or he didn’t until he looked at your shirt again.

It was that material which gave him the clarity he was after.

So, Matty got his answer. It was simple really when he thought about it.

He’d robbed your shirt and you’d robbed his heart.

You were Robbers.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

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[nriacc]

An Encounter | NRIACC: Part 9 |

Nothing Revealed In A Common Crisis 

Plot by @imagine-that-100​​ and @ghostlightqueen​

Written by @imagine-that-100​

Description: | Here |

Word Count: 22.9k

Warnings: This series contains mature content and themes throughout

A/N: HERE WE GO! THEY ALL FINALLY MEET!!!! Really hope you all enjoy!!!! Thanks a million for reading x

| Series Masterlist | N’s Masterlist | NRIACC Playlists | The Band’s Info | Read on Wattpad | Read on AO3 |

~*~*~*~ January 2008 ~*~*~*~

“No,” You stop Alex from trying to interrupt you down the phone again, “You’re listening to me.”

“We did not happen.” You state plainly, “Whatever the lies were for the past few months, all of that stuff in my house, that now didn’t happen.”

“The tour, and everything that happened on it, means nothing,” You lie through your teeth, the pain in your chest coming back as you talk, “It did not happen and we won’t be speaking about it again because the lads don’t know and Y/B/F knows nothing.”

You refrain from telling him that the only people that now know, apart from the two of you, are Matty and Adam. There was no way you could keep it to yourself with how upset you’d been.

You’d worked up the courage over the past few hours to call Alex and get out what you needed to say. After blankly ignoring him for just over a month, you were still wrecked and still in Manchester trying to distract yourself.

Christmas had gone by, bringing you just a fraction of the amount of joy that it usually did. You’re just trying to get back to normal with the help of the boys - and for the most part, distracting you was really helping.

But you knew that you needed to have it out with Alex before you went back to Sheffield for his birthday. You didn’t want to go to his birthday in the slightest, but you couldn’t avoid attending, because you still hadn’t told Y/B/F anything.

And you weren’t going to tell her anything.

So, at first when you told her that you were going to miss Alex’s birthday this year, she asked why. Obviously not knowing what happened over the course of the tour resulted in her being confused, because you had never, evermissed Alex’s birthday before.

After all, he’s your best friend, after her.

And that was still the case, as far as she knew.

You just want to forget about it all, which was why you hadn’t told her what happened. And you called Matt the day after you left their tour, pleading with him and the other lads to not tell Y/B/F just how close you and Alex got on the tour.

So, after she questioned you a fair few times on why you weren’t coming home for Alex’s party, you gave in to keep up appearances. This, on the phone now, was just an extra effort to make sure that everything would appear normal when you were in his presence again.

“Do you understand what I’m saying?” You double check that he’s still on the other end of the phone as you glance at your pained face in the mirror.

You’re doing so well to keep your emotions at bay whilst you talk about this. Tears are only just starting to pool on your waterline as you hear Alex’s reply.

“Yeah, I understand, Angel.”

You bite your lip until it’s painful hearing your pet name fall from his lips again. It hurts you more than you let on.

After you stay silent for a moment longer than Alex expects, he carries on, “Listen Y/N/N, I’m so sorr-”

As soon as you hear Alex start speaking, you hear the front door open so you cut the conversation short. Partly because you don’t want others to hear your conversation and partly because you don’t want to hear Alex try and grovel his way out of it, “I’ve gotta go. See you on the sixth.”

“Okay. Bye, Angel.” Alex says softly, and you can tell he’s a little shocked at your sudden need to end the call.

You don’t bother saying goodbye yourself, because as soon as he calls you Angel again you want to cry. After hanging up the phone, you throw it down and let your tears flow.

Your hands cover your face as you sit yourself down on the settee, and you hear footsteps getting closer to you. You don’t bother hiding your sadness from whoever it is, as your family and friends in Manchester all already know you’re having a rough time.

You’re crying when whoever it is comes into the room, and they don’t say anything when they pause at the door and see you upset. All they do is drop whatever bags they have and make their way over to you silently.

As soon as his skin touches yours, you know it’s him. He silently sits beside you, stroking the back of your head coaxing you out of your hands to look around at him.

Matty gives you a sad smile, not questioning why you’re upset, as he already knows. You called him earlier and told him what your plan was, you didn’t expect him to come round though, as you knew he was meant to be out with his Dad this afternoon.

“Come here, Wheels.” Matty says, opening his arms up to you after wiping your tears away.

You don’t hesitate to hide yourself in him, despite the guilty feeling settling itself in your chest again. All you’ve seemed to do is cry to him whilst you’ve been over, and you always feel bad about it.

Matty doesn’t care about that though, he just wants to cheer you up and get you to your old happy self again. So, he holds you tight, kisses your temple and softly whispers, “You’re alright, Sweetheart. You’re gonna be alright.”

~*~*~*~

You’d been dreading coming back home to Sheffield. Manchester feels like a safety net at this point and you don’t really want to leave, so you stay till the very last second possible.

Adam is the one to drop you off at Y/B/F’s house and you can’t express just how much the bear hug he gives you beforehand means to you. Especially since you’d be seeing Alex again today for the first time after that morning you left crying.

You knew that the other lads would be there too, so it wouldn’t be as awkward. Y/B/F would also be there and Alexa more than likely would be too. So, you knew that he would have to try and act normal for them.

But you go to Alex’s house anyway and pretend like everything is fine. Even getting him a small present to keep up normal appearances.

Seeing him again was difficult for you; it felt awkward. But it had to be done to get some normalcy back between the two of you.

There were genuine laughs that day, despite you and Alex keeping your distance from each other. It appeared normal because Alexa was there, too.

It was weird because you wanted so much to hate her. You wanted to pretend that it was all her fault that you’d had your heart broken. But that just simply wasn’t the truth.

Alex was the only one to blame for what happened because your intentions were pure. You weren’t after a meaningless shag.

Alex was your best friend and with the way you were acting with each other, it was clear that you wanted more than that.

You were just the idiot that thought he did too.

At the end of the night on his birthday, you were the first to leave, which was probably no surprise to the lads. There was a moment between you and Alex by the front door.

It was a silent one, other than Alex saying a quiet, “Thank you for coming,” but when you both hugged each other, it seemed to put the matter to bed. It was like the hug said everything that needed to be said.

It was one of ‘thanks for coming’ at first, but you hugged each other for a lot longer than you originally intended. It was like you both found that you were okay with each other after a second or two, and then it turned into a real hug.

You hugged him tighter, and the thing that was weighing your chest down seemed to disappear. The lump in your throat left, and you could just hug your friend again - pretend for a brief moment that everything was normal.

At least you felt like you could speak to him again and know that everything would be alright between you if you were in a room alone again. You’d by no means forgiven him, but at least you know you can move past it.

You had never replied to that ‘Miss you Angel xx’ text that you received when you were on your way to Matty's after you left the Monkeys tour - or any of the ones that came after. You never answered the phone calls that came from Alex’s phone either.

You iced him out for a solid month. Responding to everyone but him, even on Christmas Day.

You spent Christmas with your Mum over in Manchester, and you liked that you got the chance to spend it with your boys. They made you feel at home.

But things got tougher for you when you went back home to Sheffield on your own. You’d gone back the day of Alex’s birthday gathering so you didn’t have to face it alone.

But after you hugged Alex goodbye at his door on his birthday and you dropped Y/B/F back off at home, you were left with your empty house.

And you hated it.

You wished your Mum hadn’t told Alex to come round more often all those months ago, because now your lonely house was just filled with tarnished memories.

Walking back into that house alone hurt a lot more than it should have.

In your hall you remembered kissing Alex goodbye that day of Matt‘s party when you were younger, along with all the times he’d kissed you goodbye the past few weeks before you went on tour with them.

When you went outside for a smoke and looked toward your bedroom window, more tarnished memories come back to you from even further back into your childhood.

Years before you and Alex even spent that night in your room, you’d been grounded for coming home an hour late for your tea. Of course, you’d told your friends at school that it happened, and they had decided to come and sneak you out of your house on a Friday night when everyone was going to the park.

It was winter, so it was getting dark really early and you’d pretended to feel sick all day. So, you’d told your Mum that you were having an early night because of that. She usually went to bed early and was typically a heavy sleeper, so by the time Alex and Matt came to help you out of your window she had been asleep.

You remember dressing in all black like you were a spy in a Mission Impossible film, and you were thankful that your mum and dad had bought a house with an extension, so it was easier for you to get down. You’d made Matt go round to the side of your house to make sure that your Mum's bedroom light didn’t come on whilst Alex helped you get down off the roof of the extension.

Thankfully, you’d made it down with him holding your waist as you got yourself down on the garden table that you positioned against the wall. It was a grand plan which you were thankful paid off.

Now you just wished it never happened.

Your kitchen held no better memories. You wished that you’d never made that stupid ‘cuddles in the kitchen’ joke, because before the tour it had become a reality.

Alex had been around a lot then, and most of that time you spent eating because you were both constantly hungry.

Alex was bragging earlier on in the day that he could make spaghetti bolognese. So, you’d put him to the test. You kept joking about how he'd forgotten how to do things for himself whilst on tour because everything was done for him.

You helped him cook a little bit, but he seemed to like doing things himself to prove a point. So, you sat on the side of the worktop and watched as he finished.

You’d been chatting about him being away on tour whilst he cooked and what he missed about back home. He seemed to miss a lot of different biscuits that were household favourites in the UK and apparently other countries didn’t have them.

You’d told him that you couldn’t deal with not having your favourite snacks around. But then you start talking about the people that he missed and the people that he’s met along the way.

After putting the pasta in the pot of boiling water, Alex turned to you.  

“You know you’re my favourite,” Alex genuinely told you.

But you didn’t believe him.

“Alex, shut up,” You shook your head.

Flattery wouldn’t get him anywhere.

“I’m being serious,” He had said, coming to stand between your legs.

His hands were on your thighs when he told you, “Out of everyone I know, you're my favourite.”

You shook your head again, not believing him for a second, “You’ve met Lily Allen.”

“So?” Alex chuckled, his hands moved to your hips, pulling you closer to him, “You don’t think you’re better than Lily Allen?”

“No,” You argued, but the way he looked at you just made you grin.

“Well, you are,” He said, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear, “You’re better than everyone, Angel.”

“So poetic, Shakespeare,” You teased with a little grin.

Alex smirked at you then, “You love it.”

“I do,” You grinned, liking that he was once again flirting with you.

It was at that point he kissed you for the first time since your birthday. It was a sweet kiss, like he was testing how far he could go with you again.

But by the time your arms went around his neck, Alex knew that you were just as into the kiss as he was. So it progressed until his tongue connected with yours.

And for a few seconds everything was fine, the butterflies found their way back to your stomach and you could feel the pull between you both again. Or you could, until Alex had a wave of realisation and paused his actions.

“What’s up?” You asked the shocked looking brunette in front of you.

Alex told you honestly, “I forgot about your tongue piercing.”

You couldn’t help but start giggling. Matt had been right on your birthday when he said that Alex wouldn’t have been able to handle kissing you with it in.

“Matt was right, you did shit yourself,” You laughed, remembering how funny it was at the time - and at the fact that Alex still looked a little shocked now.

“Didn’t shit myself,” Alex defended himself, “I was caught off guard.”

“I stuck my tongue out at you before. You knew it was there,” You giggled, finding the situation really funny.

Alex seemed to stumble on his words then, obviously feeling a little embarrassed about the situation. But you wanted to tease him some more for it.

“Want me to take it out for you?” You asked, biting your lip to try and stop yourself from giggling.

Alex said seriously then, “I can kiss you Y/N, it’s not that. I just...”

“Sure you can,” You laughed, not believing for a second that he could handle it again.

“I can,” Alex insisted.

You waved him off, “Whatever Ale-“

He kissed you then, in a kiss that you couldn’t escape from. And you didn’t want to escape it.

Your hand cupped his jaw and you settled into the kiss again. And to be fair to your best friend, he didn’t let your piercing phase him, as you both got off with each other for a good few minutes then.

When you parted to catch your breath, Alex kept you close. His arms were fully wrapped around your waist and your legs were wrapped around his.

Alex asked you a little breathlessly, “How’d I do?”

You grinned a little, knowing that he was trying to prove his own point with the kiss. But you once again liked to tease.

“Think you need more practice if I’m honest,” You said with a little grin.

“Yeah?” Alex grinned, and you nodded.

And slowly but surely, his lips found yours once more.

But now, you wished that you could wipe all of those good memories from your mind completely.

Even memories that involved more of your friends were ruined. All because your fucking dickhead of a mate couldn’t be honest with you.

Your lounge was tarnished from about a week before you went on tour with them. When you were in there with the band.

They’d all been over to prep you for what you needed to bring on tour. You’d pretty much got all the necessities in your bag, you’d just add more private items of clothing later.

Matt picked up on what you were missing though and pointed to your case as he said, “You need to pack your skimpy underwear.”

“Why?” You grinned, “Did you have a particular set that you wanted to see me in?”

“Not me. But I know Alex really likes that black bra you had on last week,” Matt smirked at you, before glancing over to his best mate.

“Really?” You turn and grin at him.

You’d gone out with them to a bar last week where you’d worn a black mesh top over your bra, with your leather jacket over the top. You had caught him looking a fair few times and when you called him out on it when you went outside for a smoke, he just pulled you into a kiss.

Alex grinned at you but looked over at Matt and gave him a dirty look. Matt dropped the subject of you and Alex for a while then, but of course more teasing came back eventually.

“Y/L/N,” Matt grinned.

You smiled back at him, “Helders.”

“How’s your tongue piercing?” He wondered, starting to smirk a little.

“Great, why?”

“Just wondering,” The drummer said before going quiet for a moment.

But then he came back confidently and asked, “Can you give blowjobs with it in?”

You laughed a little before you started telling him, “Well, I spent a full summer with it in and I don’t thi-“

“Oh, no, Y/N sorry,” Matt interrupted, “I was asking Al.”

“Imma fucking murder you,” Alex said before he dove onto his best mate who was laughing along with Nick and Jamie.

You’d all had a nice laugh that night and Alex ended up staying over. More lingering touches and possessive kisses were exchanged before you both fell asleep in your bed.

It was harder for you now to sleep in that bed. You’d been deceived by your best friend who’d tricked you into bed on tour - and to make it worse, you’d actually lost your virginity to him in the same room and the same bed.

It just made your heart hurt.

So, you decided to start clearing your house sooner rather than later. You got your life in order and started sorting things out as you finished up your masters degree.

Thankfully your lectures were posted online, so the things that you missed when you were away with the lads you could easily catch up on. So, whilst you finished your masters off, you also set your own business up.

And as it turned out, your first customers were Domino Records asking you to design a logo and merch for a band you’d never heard of. You assume they got your email through the Monkeys, but it was only a few months later that you realised who was in the band.

You were a little surprised that you weren’t told about Alex and Miles’ little side band, The Last Shadow Puppets, but you can’t really blame them. You’d barely been speaking to anyone back home.

You were friends with Alex again and you spoke when he wasn’t busy. But it wasn’t quite the same just yet. Though, maybe that was because for the last six months you’d been used to flirting with him.

It would be a cold day in hell if that ever started back up again.

The only person you spoke to properly was Matty. He called you when he drove home from work, and you liked your late night chats with him.

Whether he made you tell him about your art, or if you asked about his music, he never left you bored. He really did keep you going and keep you happy.

The only marginally depressing thing that you and Matty spoke about on the phone was that you wouldn’t be coming over this summer, because you were moving out of your house. Since Christmas you’d gutted it and plainly decorated it enough for you to be able to rent it out.

Your Mum was already set up in Manchester in a small flat that she’d bought, and you’d found a flat not too far outside of High Green that you were going to move into at the beginning of July. It couldn’t come fast enough.

~*~*~*~ July 2008 ~*~*~*~

In the months after Alex’s birthday, you made friends with him again. It was a difficult thing to do, but you did it.

After all, you’d been close for years and you were obviously close before everything. But refusing to mention what happened between you definitely made it easier to be friends again.

Starting the phone calls back up was awkward at first, but you just found it easier to ramble on about things you knew you both enjoyed. You asked him about the Puppets to distract the both of you, as you could always listen to his show stories and not get bored.

Thankfully, the phone calls got easier and longer the more you did them. And when the time came to move into your flat, you were practically besties again. You don’t really know how, but the sourness of everything had long since passed.

Over a week you slowly moved into the flat with the help of Y/B/F, and once you were all moved in you wanted to have a little get together with all your friends so they could see it. However, The Arctic Monkey lads said that they unfortunately couldn’t come and help, because they were having meetings about their next album.

They went down to London for those important meetings, and you’d never ask them to pick between you and their work. Their music was more important.

So, instead you just decided to leave it, and you’d organise something when they were next back.

With your best friends' help, you get your flat ready in record time and you love it to pieces. You have two bedrooms (an extra for guests like your Mum, Adam, or Y/B/F to sleep in), a bathroom, a nice kitchen, and quite a big lounge area.

And you adore it because it’s yours. You’d hung your art up on the walls and set up a desk in the corner of your large bedroom so you could do your graphic design work from home.

You also had a family moving into your old home, so the rent for the flat would practically pay itself. Everything was amazing and you wouldn’t change it for the world.

Especially when Adam and the rest of the band came for a spontaneous visit to check your new place out. Your best friend was over when they arrived and she seemed thrilled to be finally meeting them all, especially Adam and Matty.

After hugging them all, they filtered into your flat and met your best friend. You’d told them so many things you’d gotten up to over the years that they all felt like they knew her, and likewise with your best friend meeting them.

She couldn’t help but tease your curly haired boy, though.

“Ah, so you’re the famous Matty,” She said as she hugged him.

Matty laughs, “Famous? I wouldn’t go quite that far.”

“Oh, I would. You lead topics of conversations back over here,” Y/B/F grins, letting him free.

“Talk about me that often, Wheels?” He grins, turning back to look at you just near the door.

You smile, before you hug him again, “You’re one of my closest friends, of course you come up a lot.”

“I’m glad,” Matty grins, kissing the top of your head, “I’d hate for you to come back over here and forget about me.”

“I could never,” You say, pulling out of the hug before you head into the kitchen to make them all a hot drink.

You obviously knew what everyone liked, as you’d spent enough time with them to know them all like the back of your hand. You were so thrilled they were all over, it was a really lovely surprise.

But it wasn’t the only surprise you’d get today. You just didn't know that yet.

You caught up on what the boys' lives had been like since Christmas, and were pleased to hear that everything was going well. They asked you how you were and you told them that you were doing great.

You were glad they didn’t push you for further details because you obviously hadn't told Y/B/F anything about what happened on tour. The only two people who knew were Matty and Adam.

Ross and George knew that you’d had your heart broken, but they didn’t know by whom. Even if you did try to tell them, they wouldn’t have believed you for a second when you said it was Alex Turner, one of their favourite musicians.

So, you left them in the dark about it. They seemed to know just enough to help you take your mind off things when you stayed over for Christmas.

You liked watching your worlds mingle when you watched Y/B/F interact with them all. You were sitting next to Matty quietly on the little loveseat settee you had.

It was funny to you seeing Matty and Y/B/F chat shit about something you knew they both had in common, but obviously had never spoken about to each other before. You could also see a little sparkle in Y/B/F’s eyes when she spoke to Adam.

You could tell she understood why you liked to spend so much time with them because of how well you all bounced off each other. Before you knew it, they’d all been round for a few hours and you’d ordered takeout.

You ate and chatted along like it was a normal Friday afternoon, but you knew that you’d unfortunately have to cut their visit short because you were going to work.

Your freelance graphic design business was going well, but sometimes there were a few slow patches. To combat that, you got your job back where you used to work when you were younger in a bar just on the edge of town.

It was only on a 0-hour contract, so you were just asked if you could work when it was needed - unfortunately tonight had been one of those nights. You liked working there because you were really close to one of the girls; she knew quite a lot of your stories - not all of them, mind you - but you vented to her on shift quite a lot.

You never gave details on who was who in your stories, but she knew some of the things that you liked to get off your chest.

So, when it was about three hours before you were due to start, you told the boys that they were welcome to stick around but you did have to go and work. It was very quickly arranged that they were all going to come out to your work and have a night out there with Y/B/F whilst you could serve them.

It was arranged that they’d be staying at your flat for the night and you were actually pretty happy to have some guests over.

An hour and a half before you were due to start, you got another knock at your door, which confused you. You got yourself up, hoping that it wasn't one of your new neighbours telling you to keep the noise down, as you’d put on some music a while ago and you were all laughing quite loud.

Surprisingly though, it wasn’t anything like that.

You walk down your hall and open the front door to find a bunch of familiar faces that you certainly didn’t expect to see today.

Matt, Nick, and Jamie are all standing at your front door with massive smiles on their faces and you can’t help but let out a screech seeing them in front of you. You always knew when they were back home - so to see them so unexpectedly had genuinely shocked you. You were so excited to see them again.

“Oh my god! You’re back!” You practically yell, launching yourself into Matt’s arms.

He of course wraps his arms around you too, and you clutch him tightly, saying, “You’re here. I can’t believe you’re here.”

Matt gives you a tight squeeze, walking you a bit further into the hallway of your flat before letting you go, “Of course we’re here.”

“Had to see your new flat Y/N/N,” Jamie grins, before pulling you into a hug.

You gave both him and Nick a massive hug each, as it had been a good few months since you’d seen them. You were so thrilled they were here now.

You’re gutted Alex isn't with them. You hadn’t seen him in person since his birthday, but you understood. He had The Last Shadow Puppets to think about and that took up a lot of his time.

Of course, you spoke when you could and you were pleased that things were normal between you again. You’d even spoken to Alexa a few times and you really liked her. You knew that she was lovely when she’d joined you all on tour, but your mind had been clouded back then, so it was nice not hating her for a change.

Jamie had to venture back outside to grab your house warming present that he’d “idiotically forgot to bring up” with him. The other lads started filtering into your lounge to meet your other group of boys.

You were actually really excited for everyone to meet each other.

You’d left your door open slightly so Jamie could get back in and you paused yourself by the end of your hall to watch the scene unfold.

You couldn't help but giggle when George snuck himself away from the newcomers and over to you. He looked shell shocked and you had to bite back your laugh.

He asks you with wide eyes, “Y/N... What is Matt Helders doing in your flat?”

“He’s a friend,” You grin. “As are the rest of the band, like I’ve told you for years.”

His jaw is agape as he turns back and looks at Adam doing a bro-hug with Matt. George turns back to you, his eyes still wide when he says, “But you were lying.”

You laugh and shake your head, “No, honey, I wasn’t.”

The drummer just stares at you helplessly then and you give him a little side hug whilst you laugh. You call the other drummer back over to you.

“Helders,” You wave him over and he comes without question, “This is George, he’s a big fan.”

“Hiya mate, how you doing?” Matt smiles at George, offering him his own bro-hug and you take a step back to witness the interaction in all its glory.  

George nervously chuckles, “Mind blown, pal.”

“How come?” Matt laughs a little.

George points his thumb back towards you, explaining to Matt, “I thought she was lying when she said she knew you.”

“Ah, nah,” Matt chuckles, “We are best buds, me and Y/N.”

You feel arms go around your waist then  which makes you jump. But you know there’s no need to fear for your life when the person hugging you pulls you toward them a bit, saying, “Speak for yourself, Helders. Think she chats to me more than you.”

“Oh my god,” Your eyes go wide, twisting yourself around in Alex's grip.

You don’t even waste time looking at his face to check it’s him, you already know it is and you just clutch him, “I’ve missed you so fucking much, you’ve got no idea.”

And it was true.

Yeah, he hurt you, but it was a long time ago now. Seven months had passed and you’d genuinely missed him like crazy whilst he’d been doing a press tour and a load of other stuff with Miles for The Last Shadow Puppets.

“I’ve missed you, too, ” Alex tells you and you can hear the emotion in his voice.

He sounded like you felt. It felt like relief that he was back again.

You pull back from the hug a little bit to see your close friend, whose hair is now slightly longer. You say, whilst his arms are still around you, “I can’t believe you’re here.”

You hug him again, and Alex chuckles at your excitement, “I couldn’t miss you moving into this flat that you haven’t stopped going on about.”

“Do you like it?” You ask like he’d had a chance to see it - but you wanted to know anyway.

Alex pulls back from the hug and grins, “Looks amazing, Angel.”

Everyone gets a bit more acquainted then, with both Alex and Jamie back in your flat now. You see Ross first, who’s still a little spellbound and you make sure he’s alright.

You’re thankful that he is, despite him not believing you for years. And after that you notice that, the only person that you’ve not yet introduced to Alex is Matty.

You head over to your curly haired brunette, and smile when you turn slightly to see Alex has followed you. You grin back at Matty and say, “Matty, meet Al.”

Matty smiles at your friend and politely questions as he offers him a handshake, “Alex Turner, right?”

“That’s me,” Alex nods, taking Matty’s hand.

The shake lasts long enough for Matty to tell him, “Your music’s pretty sick, mate.”

Alex replies, “Thanks,” with a smile before they drop hands.

“Heard a lot about you,” Matty smiles at the singer.

Alex smiles, taking a glance at you, “All good things I hope.”

You knew it was playful, there nothing menacing about it like it was a warning or anything. Because let's face it, you could beat the shit out of him if you really wanted to.

There was nothing menacing about Alex Turner at all.

“Ah, wouldn’t you like to know,” Matty chuckles a little dryly, but only you noticed that.

You think Matty was about to say something else, before he notices the new drummer in the room makes eye contact with him.

You follow his gaze and realise they both hadn’t met yet. So, you call the drummer over, “Matt, please come and meet Matt.”

“You never call me Matt,” Matty almost scoffs at you.

You grin, “Just like you don’t call me my name.”

Alex is a little confused at the smile and wink Matty shared with you, but didn't have enough time to question it.

The drummer comes over and takes up your attention then, doing a little bro-hug with Matty. Matt grins, “Ah, you're the younger model she went for instead of me.”

“Fuck sake, Helders,” You close your eyes in a little embarrassment.

“That would be me,” Matty grins, wrapping his arm around your shoulder. You lean into him when he nods to you, telling both Matt and Alex, “Gotta say, really didn’t believe her initially when she said she knew you all.”

“Ah, yeah,” Matt chuckles, “She told us last year… Pretty funny actually.”

You laugh a little at the memory and Alex asks him, “Believe her now?”

“Be deluded if I didn’t,” Matty chuckles and you laugh.  

“Sweetheart, do you mind if I run downstairs for a smoke?” The curly haired brunette turns to you a little.

The ‘Sweetheart’ makes both Matt and Alex share a little look, but neither comment on it.

Your eyes go a little wide at that, but you say with excitement clear in your voice, “Oh, let me show you this... It’s the best part of my flat. I don't have to go downstairs to smoke anymore.”

You end up leading them through to your bedroom to show them the american style pull up window that has the american-esk metal fire escape attached to your building. You loved it because it meant that you didn’t have to venture down three flights of stairs to go for a fag, but everyone else just rolled their eyes at your excitement.

Once Matty had his fag, you all pretty much went back to standing about in your lounge. You had a three seater settee, the loveseat and a beanbag.

Unfortunately, not everyone fit. But all of them seemed happy enough to stand and chat.

You and Adam had just ventured into your kitchen so you could make him a quick drink to take a couple of paracetamol, as he’d been getting a headache for the last hour. You’re both in a little conversation when you hear Matty say something.

“So how’s Alexa, Alex?” Matty asks your friend.

You and Adam both flick your heads round to look at Matty hearing him say that. You could both tell the condescending tone from anywhere, but you're thankful that your Arctic Monkey lads didnt know him well enough to pick that up.

“Yeah, she’s good. Thanks, mate,” Alex smiles at him, seeming glad that someone asked.  

You don't give Matty another chance to ask him another personal question though. Y/B/F seems to engage Alex into another conversation about Alexa when you head towards your kitchen door.

“Curly,” You call and Matty twirls himself around to look at you, “Can I steal you a minute?”

Matty smiles and walks himself into the kitchen. As soon as he's in the room though and facing you, Adam hits him over the back of his head.

Matty is about to shout at his mate but you hold up a finger, getting his attention, and say, “Let’s not do that.”

You shut the door to your kitchen quietly, before turning back to look into those brown eyes you are so fond of.

“I’m over that and I'm over him, which you know. So, it doesn’t need to be dragged back up,” You tell him seriously, “Especially on a surprise visit.”

“You’re right,” Matty agrees, nodding understandingly, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, ” You smile, not angry at him at all, “Just play nice for me, yeah?”

You knew Matty was just looking out for you, and trying to defend you. But you’d really like to just forget about it, like you’d agreed with Alex.

“Just talk music,” You smile, “I swear, he’s not a bad person.”

Matty thought otherwise though.

He hurt you. You cried because of him.

And Matty wasn’t okay with that.

But for your sake, he would let it go. Matty could never deny it, Alex was fucking good at what he did for a living, so talking to the best that there is probably wasn’t a bad thing.

After Matty consoled you the day he picked you up from the train station, it didn’t sit right with him when you said it was Alex from Arctic Monkeys who’d hurt you. It pained Matty that he didn’t believe you for so long.

Seeing you cry like you did over someone made Matty realise that you had to be telling the truth. There was no way that you could’ve been so worked up and kept some elaborate lie up at the same time.

When you explained the situation, it was too on point. Especially when the week after, Matty saw an article online speculating about Alex Turner and Alexa Chung.

A month after you left, Matty saw the love letter that Alex had given Alexa all over the internet. Reading it, he saw the exact words you’d quoted him when you explained what’d happened in his bedroom and it made Matty’s heart sink.

It prompted Matty to drive over to Sheffield the next day on his day off and check on you. He unsurprisingly found that you weren’t too good again.

Your cheeks were puffy, you had bags under your eyes, and you looked so tired. But Matty could still see your beauty despite you not being able to.

You’d been thankful when your curly haired boy showed up at your front door. It was an instant sigh of relief when you saw him in front of you.

For a brief second, it didn’t feel like you were drowning.

Matty stayed for the whole day, enough time to periodically chat about how you were feeling. Something you were actually really grateful for, because you were still hiding what happened from Y/B/F.

So, you didn’t have your usual support network around to help.

You didn’t want her to be angry at you for falling for it again, and you also didn’t want to distract her from her job. She was doing so well and you didn't want to make everything about you.

Matty also phoned you at one point when they re-released Fluorescent Adolescent as a single. The song itself wasn’t the problem, the B sides that they had released along with it had Too Much To Ask and you knew it was about you.

The situation that Alex sang about in the song just fit too well for it not to be about what happened on tour. The final few weeks on that tour you weren’t happy and smiley like you usually were, and you weren’t the same around Alex at all.

What pissed you off about the song was that Alex had painted you as the bad guy. Why should you have been smiling every time you walked into the room when you’d been lied to and essentially cheated on?

A kiss certainly would be too much to ask.

Matty was so caring towards you when you aired how you felt about the song. He calmed you down a lot faster than you would have calmed yourself, and you got less upset about the situation until only your anger remained.

So, that was the last day you cried over Alex Turner.

Every now and again Matty asked you how you were and how you were coping, and you told him the truth every time. Matty knew you were over the twat, but he just wanted to make sure you were doing alright.

And if that meant that he couldn’t make sly digs, he wouldn’t. No matter how much he wanted to.

“Talking music is something I can do,” Matty grins before pulling you into a quick hug.

You chuckle in his grip, “Oh, I know. You talk about it in your sleep,” as your hands run up and down his back.

“Do I, now?” Matty laughed, letting you escape from the hug, “You never told me.”

After the brief encounter in your kitchen, you all went back to mingling in your lounge for the next half an hour, until you had to get ready for work.

You tell them all to make themselves at home as you go change, and you’re thankful that they do. When you come back out they are all sitting down and chatting amongst themselves.

“Y/N/N, you know it’s not Halloween for another few months, right?” Alex grins as you walk back out of your bedroom in your uniform.

You had to wear a shirt and a tie because you were upstairs in the VIP section of the bar tonight. You just rolled your eyes at your friend's joke, you didn’t look that bad.

“Yes, Shakespeare, I know. Don’t take the piss just because I have a uniform,” You say, perching on the arm of the settee next to him.

You mess his hair up and flick him with the end of your tie before you clip it to your shirt.

“Shakespeare?” Matty asks curiously.

He’s sitting on the love seat not too far from you, with Ross next to him. George was sitting on the floor, just by Matty's feet, almost like he was sitting at your coffee table about to have dinner.

Adam is on your beanbag near George, but he’s closer to Jamie who is sitting on one of your dining table chairs that he’d brought over. Nick was sitting next to Alex and Matt was on the end of your three seater settee with Y/B/F on his lap.

“It’s just something I call him…” You shrug, glancing back down to Alex and you smirk, “Guess you also look like him now with the long hair. ”

“Bitch,” Alex scoffs, leaning to the side so you couldn’t ruffle his hair anymore.

“How’d that happen?” Matty asks, a little intrigued, ”The name?”

“We talk about poetry a lot and she said I’m like him or something because of the songs I write,” Alex smiles and shrugs a little.

He couldn’t really remember. It started off as a joke a few years back when you said his lyrics were too clever when he didn’t have to be.

“He’s being modest,” You shake your head and tell Matty yourself as you throw your arm around Alex to hug him a little, ”I call it him because he’s a lyrical genius and he’s the Shakespeare of his time.”

Matty playfully scoffs then, pretending to be offended, “Never said that about my songs, Sweetheart.”

“Did you write Do Me A Favour or did he?” You say as you hug Alex a bit more.

“Hey,” Matty says to you, but then he looks to Alex, “I’m not saying you’re not the best, mate, because you definitely are,” Matty then looks back to you, “But I’d love a nickname too.”

“You have one,” You smile, sitting up a little.

Matty asks you confused, “What?”

“Curly,” You say, sending him a look of disbelief that he didn’t know that.

“That’s the shittest nickname,” Matty shakes his head at you.

You look offended when you say, “You used to love it when I called you that. Still do.”

“I don’t,” Matty says blankly, before defending himself, “And I was fifteen and fancied the fuck out of you.”

You scoff, “You were fourteen and you still do, Curly,” before getting up off the side of the settee.

“No, I was fifteen when you started calling me that because you did it for the first time at your eighteenth,” Matty says watching you as you walk around the back of the seat.

“Alright, alright, alright,” You grin before walking up behind him and hugging him from over the seat, “No need to be jealous, you're my favourite Manc. Don’t tell my cousin.”

You can see him grin a bit then as he tries to look at you.

“I love you, Curly,” You press a kiss to his cheek

“Yeah,” Matty grins, rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand, “Love you too, Wheels.”

You grin and knock your head against his, feeling his curls against your cheek. Matty gently knocks your head back and you can’t help but smile at the small gesture between you.

Alex feels anger rise in his system at how Matty can earn your affection so quickly. But he pushes it down. And it’s easier to do that when his best mate starts making jokes, however distasteful they might be.

“Cougar,” Matt calls, covering it with a cough. But you hear it clearly.

“Helders, this is actually my flat now so if you start that joke back up, you can get out,” You say, giving him a look before pointing towards the front door.

“Don’t you have work to get to?” The drummer says as you perch on the arm of the loveseat.

“Might call in sick,” You say, putting your legs over Matty’s lap.

George, however, whips his head round and says. “No, we want you to serve us.”

“Yeah, we are looking forward to free beer,” Ross grins at you.

“I said free shots, not free beer,” You correct him, grinning back, ”I can’t get sacked.”

Matt Helders lets out a childish whine then, ”I want free shots, too.”

“Come with us then Helders,” You grin.

The drummer looks to the other members of this band and Nick decides to ask you, “Can we just infiltrate your night like that?”

“I mean, you already have,” You joke, twirling Matty’s curls through your fingers.

They all laugh a little, but you smile back at the drummer and the other members of your home band, “Of course you can come.”

The Monkeys all seem overjoyed that they could tag along on the night out, but a certain someone has to bite his tongue seeing you sitting so casually on Matty’s lap. It didn’t sit right with Alex at all, especially when only a handful of months ago you would do the same to him.

Your fingers would be in his hair, not Matty’s. Your legs would be over his lap, not this random guy from Manchester.

The conversation continues on for a little longer then. You like watching both bands interact with each other. It was pleasing for you to watch your two worlds collide, and they both seemed to get on so well.

George has been chatting Matt’s ear off for the past five minutes and you can't help but smile. You practically sink into Matty’s lap, his hand resting on your jean-covered thigh, and you're still twirling his hair round as you listen to the surrounding conversations.

You grin looking between both the drummers before turning to Matty and quietly grinning, “George is a tiny bit obsessed with Matt.”

Matty nods, also grinning before cheekily adding, “It’s the name.”

“Ah, yes,” You grin, very amused by his joke, “It does have that effect.”

You and Matty both grin at each other like idiots for a few seconds before you feel the need to just confirm something for the singer.

“You know I love your songs, right?” You ask him seriously, searching his brown eyes in hopes that he does.

“Yeah, I know you do, Sweetheart,” Matty smiles, giving your knee a quick squeeze. ”But I’ve got some bad news for you.”

“What?”

“Name’s changed again,” Matty tells you in a hushed tone before pressing his lips together.

You pinch the bridge of your nose, “I hate you.”

“Who changed it this time?” You ask, still keeping your eyes closed.

“Ross,” Matty tells you.  

“MacDonald!” You shout, kicking his leg, “I’m going to batter you.”

“Why? What’ve I done?” He asks, seeming to have no clue as he had just been chatting to Alex.

“Changing the fucking band name again,” You shake your head, “Do you know how many fucking logos I've designed for you?”

You get up, stalk to your bedroom before coming back with a load of loose paper in your hands. You drop them on Matty and Ross’ laps, “Look at this bullshit.”

Matty and Ross flick through all the different logos you’ve made, whilst you rant, “When you get famous I want every single fucking one printed onto a top and given to me... I get all your fucking merch for free or I’m not doing it.”

“You think we’d make you pay for our merch?” Adam questions in disbelief.

“You’re Hann’s cousin,” George says.

Ross assures you, “We aren’t animals.”

“Yeah don’t worry, you get mates' rates,” Matty jokes, keeping a straight face.

You scoff at that, resting your hand on his hips and you give him a pointed look.

“Alright mister big time actor.”

“I’m joking, Wheels,” Matty smirks, looking up at you, a grin forming when he asks, “Have you been watching my show?”

You grin and nod, “Every week.”

He was an extra in Waterloo Road and you loved watching it every week in hopes to find him with his cute glasses on. He was so adorable.

You ask, now the anger has left your system, “What are you called now?"

“Drive Like I Do,” Your curly haired brunette informs you.

You think it over for a moment but then nod, “I actually like it.”

“That’s pretty good, actually,” Y/B/F agrees.

You nod some more, taking the paper back off them that they'd just piled up and put on your coffee table, “It ties in with your Music For Cars theme.”

“Music for what?” Alex asks.

“Cars,” You tell him but shake your head, “Don’t ask questions, it’s just music that we wanna listen to in the car when we get high.”

Alex’s eyebrows furrow, along with the rest of his band. He asks you in disbelief, “You get high?”

“Occasionally,” You tell him, “What do you think we do in Manchester?”

“Fuck him?” Matt suggests nodding to Matty.

You laugh looking at your curly haired boy, but you speak to Matt, “Do you not think we did both?”

Matty just grins at you remembering the first time you’d smoked weed with him way back before anything happened between you. It had been a few days after that night in the club when you both left early. You handled it pretty well for your first time doing it, and each time you did it after you felt even more relaxed.

But the following summer when you’d been seeing Matty, it was quite fun getting high and having sex, too.

“Don’t wanna know,” Adam cringes and the subject was dropped with your laughter.

You think over a few logos in your head before you perch on the arm of the settee again. You let yourself get excited over this name, “Ooo Matty, I’m excited for this new name.”

“I’m your cousin, you know? Still in the band,” Adam scoffs a little, looking at you like you’d abandoned him.

“I’m excited for you, too,” You tell him, and then you smirk, “But I speak to the frontmen first.”

Then literally everyone in the room but Matty and Alex scoff, looking at you like you’ve just killed their dog.

“I’m joking.”

~*~*~*~

You all bundled into the bar turned club that you worked in and you managed to get them upstairs without paying for wristbands because the manager loves you. They sit on the table in the far corner of the bar and it was a wonder one on a platform that was slightly raised so at least you’d be able to see them when you were on the bar.

It had been a few hours and seemed to be fine. Every half an hour or so another one of your group came over and bought everyone a round.

First it started with Adam, then Matt, then Alex, then George, and in front of the bar now stood your curly haired brunette.

“Wheels,” Matty greets you with a smile, leaning against the bar.

“Can you get us some more drinks please?” He asks you with a bright smile.

You grin leaning against the bar for a second, asking, “Same again?”

“Think so,” Matty tells you and you get to work making the array of drinks.

Your curly haired brunette watches as you work, but then out of nowhere he asks you, “Oh, Sweetheart, can I have a milk please too?”

Pausing mid way through pouring his wine, you look up at him with the dirtiest stare and you can’t help the words falling from your mouth, “What did you just ask me for?”

“A milk,” Matty leans forward a little, trying to suppress his grin, “Please.”

Shaking your head, you immediately dismiss him, “I’m not pouring you a milk.”

“Well if you’ve not got any milk, can you get me an eggs please?” Your curly haired brunette confuses you even more.

“Did you hit your head on the way over here?” You ask blankly, frankly worried about him and why on earth he’s asking for a milk and an eggs.

Matty’s grin gets so much bigger when he corrects you, “No, I hit my head when I fell for you all those years ago.”

Your demeanor falters slightly then, letting your amusement seep through and you smile as you go back to pouring him the drinks. You smile, “Glad to know you're still just as cheesy in Yorkshire.”

Matty chuckles, “But of course, Sweetheart.”

“You having a good night?” You ask him after prep the rest of the glasses and eye which spirits you need.

“Yeah really good,” Matty nods, watching you as you work, “Nice to meet them.”

You smile, “You getting on?”

“Yeah, we’re all talking music,” He grins and he likes that your face lights up.

“Bet Y/B/F’s bored,” You giggle.

She likes her music but she had other things to talk about. She didn’t like to talk about work when she wasn’t there which was pretty difficult when your best friends were a big band.

“I think she went on the pull actually,” Matty tells you.

You laugh, “Unsurprising.”

Alex turns and sees Matty chatting to you at the bar. He watches as you make the drinks up and he sees you giggling away at whatever the curly haired boy was telling you.

The next time Alex looks back, he sees you grinning at Matty as you put the drinks on a tray. Just before Matty hands his card over to you, Alex watches as you lean over the bar and kiss him.

Alex doesn’t know why he’s surprised considering your history with Matty, but he is. It didn’t sit right with him seeing you kiss him and look that happy when you pull away.

You and Matty both weave your way through the crowds that had now found their way upstairs into the club, and you carry the tray with confidence as you make your way over to the table. The men smile as they watch you come back with a tray full of their drinks.

“Look, our sexy waitress is coming back over,” Jamie grins as you slide the tray onto their table.

You grin and flick your hair, “Well, you know, service with a smile and all that jazz.”

You stand at the end of the table and watch as they all take their drinks. Matty takes his seat at one side of you, opposite Alex, and you laugh when he pretends not to give George his drink.

“It’s pretty good in here. Maybe you Yorkshire lot aren’t so bad after all,” Matty says after looking round the place and appreciating the vibe and the music.

“We are the best,” You smile leaning slightly closer to Alex and the Monkeys side of the table.

“Do you like working here then?” Alex asks you.

“Yeah it’s not bad,” You nod, turning to look back at the bar. “I only do it to keep me busy when the art’s slow. Rent to pay and all that.”

“That’s fair,” Alex nods, taking a sip of his drink.

Ross seems to start asking you a question then but you're startled by your best friend running back over to you, sounding very giddy.

“Y/N,” She beams.  

You grin, seeing her face, “Where have you been?”

“Getting a lads number,” She grins, practically bursting with joy as she wiggles the phone at you.

“Oooo is he fit?” You question.

“Yeah,” She nods, “But my god, you need to meet his friend. He’s so your type.”

“What’s my type?” You grin.

“Skinny brunette with brown eyes,” She says it like it’s obvious.

“Wow, okay, you’re not wrong,” You laugh, but then glance back at the boys who were around you, “Got a table full of them though.”

A minute goes by where she keeps you chatting but when Matt has your attention, Y/B/F quietly squeals next to you, “They are both coming over.”

Y/B/F says hello to the guy she was talking to and you and Matt have a little knowing look between you and what Y/B/F was like with new guys she liked. But then you were pulled back around to Y/B/F so she could introduce you.

The guy starts but then stops, “Hey, nice to meet yo-“

“Wait, Kyle?” You gasp.

“Y/N,” Kyle grins at you before opening his arms to you for a hug.

You all but run into his arms, “Oh my god.”

All of the lads sat at the table, along with Y/B/F and her boy, are watching in confusion and intrigue.

“What are you doing back here?” You say but Kyle starts speaking at the same time.

“Oh my, I haven’t seen you in so long! I’ve missed you,” He grins when you release each other from the hug.

“I’ve missed you too,” You smile, “Waking up hungover isn’t the same without you next to me anymore.”

All Matty and Alex can think is what the fuck is going on?

“I know! I miss it so much,” Kyle smiles before you hug him again.

“Wait, how do you know each other?” Y/B/F asks what the other eight lads were thinking.

“We were on the same course at Uni” Kyle smiles as you both part from the hug but you both keep an arm round the other.

“Yeah, me and Kyle used to sit in lectures dying because we drank too much the night before,” You smile, telling everyone about your fond Uni memories.

“Those were the days,” Kyle grins at you, catching your eyes once more.

“They really were,” You grin back at him, giving his waist a little squeeze.

You really had missed him. He’d gone on and done a masters near Kent which was closer to home. You were shocked to see him back up here.

“How did your masters go?” Kyle asks you, obviously wanting a full catch up.  

You grin as you explain what happened to him, “Oh, great thanks. Bit of a rocky start but that was my own fault for wasting a few months with my mates,” You gesture over to the Monkeys but you smile up at Kyle when you finish telling him, “Played catch up though and got a first.”

“That’s amazing, I’m thrilled for you,” Kyle says and you can tell that he genuinely is.

You appreciate the praise, “Thank you.”

“How long are you back for?” You ask curiously.

“Indefinitely,” He grins and your jaw drops.

You ask, a little shocked, “Really?”

“Yeah.”

You can’t stop yourself from asking, “What are you doing with yourself now?”

Kyle goes on to tell you that he’s designing websites at some company in the city but he’s also doing it freelance on the side as well. You joke that you may need him to make you a website but after he makes you explain what you're after, he says that he can do it for you no problem.

“Amazing,” You grin, “I can’t believe you’re back. I’m proper buzzin'.”

You give him another hug and you have a little conversation with him as you can also hear Y/B/F and Kyle’s friend chatting to each other. You’re that into your little catch up that you sort of forget who you're around.

However, that was the complete opposite case for Alex and Matty as the only thing they could focus on was Kyle’s hand on your hip that was dangerously close to moving down onto your arse. Not that either of them could do anything about it, but they both didn't like it.

When conversations were wrapped up and you could hear Y/B/F and Kyle’s mate saying their goodbyes, you realised they were off. This prompted you and your old friend to say goodbye to each other.

“We will have to go out for a drink sometime,” Kyle suggests with a grin and you agree immediately.  

“Yes, definitely, I’d love to,” You nod, excited at the prospect of having your old friend back.

You hug him once more and before you know it he is heading down the stairs and he disappears from your view. You feel quite uplifted when you turn back to your group of friends, but seeing their faces makes you think you’re in trouble for a second.

“What the fuck was that then?” Matty asks with an amused smile on his face, taking a sip of his red wine.

You give them a confused frown, “What was what?”

“Kyle,” George grins.

“What do you mean?” You question, not understanding what they meant by ‘what was Kyle’.

“I think he’s talking about the flirting,” Alex grins at you, also taking a sip of his beer.

“Flirting?” You shake your head, “I was saying hello to my old friend.”

“Y/N/N,” Jamie looks you dead in the eyes and tells you, “He was undressing you with his eyes.”

You shake your head, not believing it for a second. “He wasn’t.”

“He really was,” Matty singsongs back to you, a grin on his face that you wanted to wipe off.

You sigh, shaking your head, “I’m not having this conversation whilst I’m meant to be working.”

You pick up the now empty tray off the table and tuck it under your arm, but before you can get back to work your best friend takes up your attention.

She’s gone round and perched herself between Matt and Alex and she asks, “Wait... Is that the Kyle?”

Your whole face falls, “Stop it. ”

“Oh my god, it is!” She shouts

“Can you not, please?” You shake your head, practically pleading with her eyes.

All of the lads on the table look between each other completely confused. The only one brave enough to question it is George when he points between the two of you, asking, “What’s happening here?”

“I’m just putting two and two together, ” Y/B/F says as she grins at you.

She then teases you some more by creating a V with her index and middle finger before she brings it to her mouth and teasingly moves her tongue. The whole table's eyes widen at the obvious indication that Kyle had once gone down on you.

“This is why I don’t tell you my secrets,” You say, pointing your finger at her before you start angrily picking up empty glasses between your fingers.

Y/B/F just teases you some more, “You were very quick to tell me at the time.”

“Stop,” You tell her sternly, not looking at her as you picked up what you could with one hand before tucking the tray under it to collect more.

There was no way you could take a tray of empty glasses back. Drunken idiots would easily bump into you and they’d smash all over the floor creating more work for yourself.

“No... It makes sense why he was undressing you with his eyes now” Y/B/F continues on as you collect four more empties in front of you, “Cause he already knows what you’ve got going on underneath them clothes.”

“Fuck you,” You say giving her one last cold glance before you head back off to work.

Everyone on the table watches as you go, but your best friend shouts after you, “I hope his mate does.”

“No Sweetheart, come back. I need a milk. Please get me a milk.” Matty also shouts you, but you’re already in the thick of the crowd going back to the bar. Probably not hearing him, and definitely not seeing the smirk on George's and Ross’ faces or Adam rolling his eyes when he hears Matty ask that.

After Y/B/F’s drunken giggling subsides, Alex turns to her asking, “You’re not telling us she got up to stuff with him?”

“Oh, she did,” Your best friend nods.

Matt asks her, “When?”

“You remember when her and Peter had that rocky patch just before your first album release?” She asks the drummer and Matt nods. Y/B/F continues, “Then.”

“Wait, she cheated on the twat with him?” Matty then asks from across the table.  

“Not other than the time with you, no,” Your best friend tells everyone, “That time Peter said he wanted to have a break and see other people for like a week so they both did... She got herself a bit of fun at uni, seeing as she couldn’t at home.”

“She never told me that,” Alex says, feeling a little hurt.

Maybe at the fact that you never told him. Also maybe at the fact that you’d never come to him for a bit of fun back then when you were so close. Back then he was single after all, and it wasn’t like you’d both not done stuff before.

Y/B/F drunkenly frowns at him then, “Why would she...? You were busy releasing an album.”

“She’s my best mate,” Alex tells her and Adam and Matty have to resist the urge to roll their eyes.

Matty was also having to hold his temper. He had no idea what sort of best mate would fuck you over like that. Alex really did you dirty and he was sitting here like everything was fine. It infuriated Matty to no extent.

“Well, maybe she just didn’t wanna tell you details about a guy going down on her,” Y/B/F makes a very good point.

“But of all people, she went for him?” Alex scoffs a little, “He’s not her type.”

“He’s literally got brown hair and he’s a skinny white boy,” Y/B/F points over by the end of the table as if Kyle was still there, “Couldn’t get more her type.”

Alex shakes his head, “He’s too posh.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Y/B/F dryly laughs then, “Wasn’t aware you could be this possessive over her after pulling each other years ago and then the one kiss on her 21st… And when you have a girlfriend now.”

It’s George’s turn to be a little gobsmacked then, “Wait you kissed her?”

“Yeah, years ago,” Alex nods, and all but three people on the table have to hold back a scoff.

George can’t quite seem to get over it, “Damn... She really wasn’t lying all that time.”

“She kissed you too, right?” Ross questions Matt.  

The drummer nods smiling, “Yeah she did.”

Y/B/F grins at her best friend and then back to Ross, telling him that, “He really enjoyed it.”

“Think she enjoyed you more,” Matt looks back at her and Y/B/F nods in agreement, remembering the way you kissed her.

“But, yeah,” Alex steers the conversation back, “He is well too posh for her.”

“Says you, with Alexa”, Y/B/F scoffs and Matty had to hold back a laugh.

He definitely liked your best friend.

“Well, whatever it was, she seemed to take a liking just then,” Y/B/F tried to put the subject to bed.

“Liking my arse” Matty shakes his head, causing the attention to go into him, “She’s just horny... Can see it in her eyes.”

Alex’s eyes flick to Matty’s when he says that. Something didn’t sit right with him that Matty could sense those things about you too.

Alex saw it. You’d both got up to enough on the bus when you came on tour with him that he could read you like the back of his hand.

“You did not just say that,” Adam then shakes his head, rubbing his eyes.  

“Hann, your cousin has needs,” Matty shakes his head at his mate, “Get over it.”

“Ooo Matty,” Your best friend hums, “You gunna fulfill them?”

That spikes Alex’s anger again, but he keeps it off his face as he looks back at the lad from Manchester.  

“I never kiss and tell,” Matty grins at her before taking another sip of his wine.

George let out the biggest scoff and Ross was chuckling. Okay so, he didn't give them details about what you got up to, but they certainly got the gist of what went on.

“She tells me about you,” Y/B/F says, moving away from Matt and closer to Matty.

“Like what you hear?” Matty teases a little.

“Maybe,” She grins at the curly haired boy, pausing in front of him, “But you’re off limits.”

Matt is about to question that, but she carries on.

“Besides,” She moves around the table again until she finds your cousin, “Hann here is the first I’d pick out of you lot.”

Helders shakes his head, gasping as he holds his heart, “Y/B/F I’m offended.”

“Your my best mate Helders, fuck off,” Your best friend shake her head, and adds cheerfully, “And Adam is cuter.”

“He also has a girlfriend,” George spoils her fun.

“Aw,” She pouts, “I’ll come back in a few years for you.”

Adam has never found himself blushing so hard in his life.

About half an hour passes then, and you come back over with a tray of shots in your hand. You’ve calmed down now, realising it wasn’t actually that big of a deal that people knew now.

You just felt a little embarrassed. But there was no need to be, so you put it out of your mind.

“Your shots, as promised,” You say, solely focussed on not dropping those as you slide them onto the table once more.

However, you look up and see your best friend practically terrorising Adam. You ask the table “What have I just walked into?”

Matt starts explaining away, “It seems like Y/B/F fancies your cousin and your boytoy still fancies you.”

“I should hope he does,” You grin, looking at Matty, “Kissed you what? An hour ago? I’d be offended if it was for nothing.”

“Wasn’t for nothing,” Matty grins, “Don’t worry.”

“Good,” You grin a little then, nudging your shoulder with his.

“And…” Jamie grabs your attention then, “Seems like you got up to some fun a few years ago?”

“What fun?” Your stomach drops and you riskily spare a glance at Alex.

He subtly shakes his head, easing your worries before Jamie continues, “You and Kyle... Can’t believe you never told us.”

“Don’t disclose my sex life with you lot,” You say, before taking the Strawberry shot in front of you.

“Seems like even the people I do tell can’t keep their mouth shut,” You give Y/B/F a pointed look once the shot glass is back on the table.

“Oh, Y/N come on, it was years back.”

“Still,” You shoot her a fake dirty look, but you both giggle knowing it wasn’t that big of a deal.

“Wheels, please can I get a milk, I’ve got heartburn.” Matty takes your attention back then.

You shake your head, knowing from the way Adam is staring down the curly haired brunette, that heartburn is not why he wants the milk. Rolling your eyes, you say, “I’m going back to work. See you later.”

After you disappear off, Jamie really can’t help but ask the group of Mancunians, “Why do you keep asking for milk, and why do you’s keep laughing at it?”

Alex is quite thankful Jamie asked, because he’d been wondering the same. But after hearing the answer, the singer should have just stayed confused.

Ross decides to explain, “Basically, we have this game that if we go out and we think the barmaid is fit, the first one that says it out loud has to go over and ask for ‘a milk’ and if they don’t have it you’ve gotta ask for ‘an eggs’ instead.”

“But if they have the milk and they pour it, you’ve gotta down it in front of them and maintain eye contact with them as you do.” George takes over and explains. “Then, and only then, are you allowed to start laying it on thick.”

George’s smile turns into a grin as he informs everyone, “So when Matty said that Y/N/N ‘looks so fucking fit in her uniform’ when he was staring at her before and I heard, the game began… Much to Adam’s disappointment.”

Adam looks how Alex feels. Entirely ready to punch Matty square in the jaw so that smug smirk leaves his face.

“If I get the milk, I’m telling you I'll still get a kiss by the end of the night.” Matty backs himself entirely.

“If not more.” Y/B/F encourages with an amused smile, finding the challenge quite funny.

Matty grins at that, repeating, “If not more.” and he takes another sip of his wine as his eyes wonder back over to the bar to see you serving looking all stunning. It takes everything Alex has not to bite his tongue off.

~*~*~*~

An hour later, you’ve again managed to sneak away from the bar while you were ‘glass collecting’. But in reality you’d gone back over to check how your friends were.

You were currently standing next to Alex. Your hand on his shoulder and you were giggling away at a joke Nick just made about Y/B/F pining for Adam.

You’d all definitely been having fun with this joke. Your poor cousin, though. But you loved to tease, despite you loving his girlfriend Rebecca.

“Excuse me,” You hear someone say and you feel a tap on your shoulder.

You turn and see a cute blonde just to the side of you. You smile and give him your full attention, “Hi.”

“Hey,” He smiles at you,

You think he’s a customer just looking for a staff member, but you were mistaken. He says, “I don’t suppose I could get your phone number? My mate over there is too much of a pussy to come and ask himself.”

Your best friend stands from her seat then and tries to look over the table in the direction he pointed, asking, “Who’s your mate?”

“Sorry,” You shake your head, “Ignore her.”

“I’ve got a boyfriend, I’m sorry,” You tell him, giving him a sorry smile.

The blonde nods understandingly, “It’s okay, I thought you might. That’s why I thought I’d come and ask you. Or he’d never ask anyone again.”

The blonde then looks to Alex and says, “Sorry mate,” evidently thinking he was your boyfriend.

Alex is about to say something but you correct the blonde first, “Oh no, he’s that one,” you nod over to Matty.

You smile at the blonde again before patting Alex’s shoulder, ”This one’s my best friend.”

The blonde nods understandingly before turning to Matty saying, “Sorry, man.”

Matty is just grinning like an idiot though, obviously loving every second of this now fake relationship, “It’s alright pal. I mean, I get it.”

Matty’s eyes flick to you, ”She’s gorgeous.”

“She is,” The blonde agrees, before he turns back to you, “You are.”

You smile at him then and he returns it, “Sorry to have bothered you.”

“It’s okay,” You smile. “Tell your friend he’s cute though. If only he'd caught me last year.”

The thought was nice, but you really didn’t want to find a boyfriend in a club, especially whilst you were working. It was a little ego boost though, you would admit.

The guy chuckles a little then saying that his friend would appreciate the compliment, and afterwards his eyes then flick back to Alex and then up the band, “I like your music by the way.”

Matt says ‘thank you’ and the blonde says a final, “Have a nice night.”

“Thanks,” You grin, and watch as he walks away before you turn back to face your friends.

“Let’s not speak of that again,” You raise your hand to stop Matty before he starts.

But you should have known that wasn’t going to happen.

“Girlfriend,” Matty grins at you.

“I’m going back to work,” You shake your head.  

But Matty stands up blocking your way, “You can’t now. We’re hitched.”

He’s grinning at you like a madman, “You love me.”

Matty elects to smoothly grab your hand and give it a tug, pulling you towards him. He guides your hand up over his shoulder whilst his other hand wraps tightly around your waist. You find yourself laughing at how smooth it was.

“Knew I should have pointed at Ross,” You shake your head at him, but you can’t wipe away your smile.

“You love me,” Matty repeats with a massive grin, pulling you impossibly closer.

“I love alcohol,” You correct him, “And speaking of it... I’m going to serve more of it.”

You pry yourself out of his grip and grab the few empties that were on the table. Alex can’t help but smile at that.

You may have rejected him as your fake boyfriend, but at least he wasn't the only one being rejected tonight.

“Let us know how many more people you find fancying you on the way?” Y/B/F smiles and you can’t hold your grin back as you shake your head before turning to leave.

“I’ll escort you back like the gentleman I am,” Matty’s arms find your waist again, but this time he hoists you into the air.

Your legs instinctively wrap around his waist and your arms tighten around his neck. Matty jokes, “Can’t let this dirty, Yorkshire lot have you.”

You’re laughing hysterically at how excited he is, but you do say, “Matty, put me down.”

But the both of you get lost in a sea of people as he takes you back to the bar. “Can’t I need a milk.” Everyone hears Matty say before he starts walking.

~*~*~*~

“So Mattyboy.” Helders drums on the table to get the singer's attention.

Your curly haired brunette had left you to work a while ago and came back with another round of drinks for everyone. And The conversations had been alright to be fair.

Matty would admit that Alex would probably be an alright guy to talk to if he wasn’t a complete and utter arsehole to you last year, but your curly haired brunette really wasn’t going to forget that any time soon. So he was pleasant enough and engaged in conversation with him, but he certainly wasn’t going to get all chummy with him.

After today, Matty would certainly say never meet your heroes as they turn out to be disappointing. Well, Alex is anyway, he quite likes the rest of the band.

Matty raises his eyebrows to Matt, prompting the drummer to continue to ask, “What’s the worst thing Y/N has ever made you do?”

“I don’t really have an answer because I’ve enjoyed everything we’ve done.” Your curly haired brunette shrugs with a smile playing on his lips.

Alex wants to sew Matt’s mouth together, because why would he continue to ask the manchester lad, “Most embarrassing moment then?”

“I dunno,” Matty shrugs, but thinks about it for a moment.  “We fell off the bed doing doggy.”

Alex wants to jump out of the nearest window when Matty reveals that. But the secret keeps him bound to say nothing. But clearly Adam as just as much distaste for the topic of discussion as Alex.

“Oh for fucks sake.” Adam sighs and rubs his eyes as if the most intense headache has just hit him.

However, the other Monkeys all end up chuckling and Nick laughs, “What?!”

Y/B/F just squeals and excitedly laughs, “When was this? And why didn’t she tell me that?”

“One night last summer.” Matty grins and laughs at the memory. Alex wants the ground to swallow him whole as Matty continues, “And, well, we’re only half sure it happened. We almost thought we had the same dream, but we came to the conclusion it definitely did happen.”

“What happened? How did you manage that?” Y/B/F pries for more details.

Adam shakes his head and his visibly displeased when he says a loud, “Please no.” clearly trying to end the conversation.

“Oh Hann, grow up.” Matty scorns him, it was a tired play now for him still to be embarrassed, “You’ve had sex, it’s all the same. Just think of her as your friend.”

Y/B/F smirks at Adam and says, “If you knew the things I do about your cousin, you’d cry.”

“Come on mate, you can’t leave us with just that. How?” Jamie asks, drawing Matty’s attention back to what he just revealed.

Matty thinks about it for a second, as he doesn’t really want to tell everyone because he’s worried after earlier on and your reaction to what Y/B/F revealed about Kyle. So Matty thinks about how he can say it without spelling it out for everyone.

“We were very drunk one night, came back to mine, and we could both remember shagging.” Matty explains with a small smile on his face, “But we found bruises the next morning that definitely weren’t from what we were doing or skating, and then we remembered that we’d fallen off the bed.”

“Oh my god.” Y/B/F laughs along with all but one of the Monkeys. She has to ask, “What did you do?”  

“Was hilarious,” Matty admits, and he  “And we both just got up and finished up on the edge of the bed.”

The thought of you bent over Matty’s bed has Alex plotting how he’s going to throw himself off the nearest bridge. It seems Adam might be joining him because your cousin is sitting there with his fingers in his ears until Ross nudges him and gives him the all clear.

Jamie grins at the singer of the other band, “Sounds like you had a lot of fun.”

Matty almost shyly admits, “We always do.” and everyone can see from his smile that he fancies you so much. He really is like a little boy with a crush.

Matt grins and teases, “You’re down bad for her, aren’t you?”

But your curly haired brunette doesn’t even find it embarrassing. He is, and there’s definitely no point in lying about it.

“Well, have you seen her?” Matty looks over to you at the bar, “How anyone hasn’t snapped her up yet is beyond me.” and he doesn’t hesitate to tell all of your friends when he looks back at them, “She’s gorgeous and has been since the day I met her.”

“Stop! I’m going to cry, you cutie.” Y/B/F runs around the table and gives Matty a side hug which makes him laugh as she says, “You don’t sound like a mingin’ nineteen year old.”

“He’s been in love with her since he was fourteen, he got the ‘being mingin’’ out of the way years ago.” Ross defends his mate, remembering how insufferable Matty once was about you.

Nick’s eyes go wide, “Fourteen?”

“Yeah.” Matty nods, “That’s when we first met.”

“Love at first sight?” Matt questions and Alex wants to murder his best friend for asking more questions.

“For me it was. Definitely.” Matty smiles, pleased that he even got you in the little way he has done.

He doesn’t plan to give up until you’re his one day. There will definitely come a day - maybe not right now, it could be in a few years time - but Matty fully intends to make you his girlfriend one day.

“I, however, made no promises not to be mingin’,” George brings Matty out of his thoughts and his best mate turns to him and says, “I’m jealous you shagged her. There, I said it.”

Matty laughs in disbelief, “Since when?”

And the Monkeys are laughing too, but mostly at the way Adam looks like he might just disown all of his friends here and now.

“Oh, you’ve got competition.” Y/B/F pats Matty on his shoulder before she goes back to sit in her seat beside Matt.

“I have no competition from George, thanks.” Matty shakes his head, before looking at his best friend, “She’s definitely not interested in you.”

“Watch this space,” George nods confidently, “Imma pull the same strings you did.”

“You’re all talk, mate.” Matty laughs before shaking his head and looking back towards you at the bar.

Alex can’t help but think it’s insufferable. He had caught Matty longingly looking over at you quite a few times tonight and it sits wrong in his stomach. He doesn’t like it in the slightest, why he has to be all over you, Alex doesn’t know.  

“What do you even do when she’s not in Manchester then?” Jamie asks your curly haired brunette.

Ross’ answers immediately, before Matty even has a chance to turn back to the group. The bassist tells everyone, “He’s insufferable.”

“No I’m not.” Matty frowns, entirely offended his mate would say that.

“You are.” Adam backs Ross up, and he sounds disgusted when he says, “You never stop going on about her.”

“Well he obviously only has his hand to deal with his thoughts of her when she’s not in Manchester.”

Alex wants to thank Adam when he pleads, “Please stop.”

“It’s going to be a really long night for you if you don’t just accept I’ve fucked your cousin, Hann.” Matty tells Adam but at this point he’s going into more detail to wind his mate up more,

“It’s a long night whenever your involved mate,” Adam backchats, clearly having enough, “You don’t shut the fuck up.”

Alex is silently cheering Adam on.

“They are asking me questions, I'm being polite and answering them.” Matty can’t keep a straight face as he says, “Your cousin is a great great sexual partner Hann, if it was the 1500s you’d be marrying her off to me in a heartbeat.”

“Downton Abbey style.” Y/B/F laughs, and she looks at Adam, telling him, “Give him your dowry now.”

Jamie smiles, “Anyone would be lucky to have her.”

Matty smiles, definitely liking Jamie. He can’t help but wonder if they had a go for Alex leading their friend on whilst the fucker already had a girlfriend.

“How come none of you have tried to get with her anyway?” George wonders out loud, clearly having no idea about anything. “If you think so highly of her.”

Matty watches everyone’s reactions to that, and it’s clear all of them (apart from Y/B/F) know something happened between Alex and you. Maybe they don’t know as much as Matty and Adam do, but they know you weren’t just best friends. Alex, looking all shameful and sheepish, gives that away.

The way the rest of the band look at each other makes that clear enough because they don’t know what to say. And Matty, of course, likes to stir the pot a little and he looks at all of them but says to his best friend, “How do you know none of them have tried, George?”

Alex feels like his heart stops. All the singer can think as he maintains a straight face is, Does he know something about the tour?

“Have you?” George questions again.

When none of them answer, Y/B/F spills what gossip she knows, “She’s kissed Matt and Alex and then she got with Peter and was until just before she got with Matty.”

“Interesting.” Matty nods and takes a long sip of his drink until he feels Adam kick him.  

“What was Peter like?” Ross questions, “She didn’t talk about him much in the last few years.”

“Peter was a class A cunt.” Matty scoffs, as it was so blatantly obvious that you were unhappy the last year you were with the twat.

Alex has to ask him, “And how would you know?” because to Alex, Matty was the one that made you cheat on Peter.

Yes he knew that by the end, you and Peter really weren’t compatible anymore, but he was there for you whilst you were dealing with the upset amongst your friendship group because you’re so-called friends thought you broke Peter’s heart by cheating on him. And Matty was just in Manchester completely buzzing because he finally got to kiss you after years of pining? It doesn’t sit right with him.

Matty, however, thinks that Alex has some nerve to ask him something like that.

“Because she used to call me at one in the morning, every morning, crying because he was being a dick to her and she couldn’t sleep because of it.”

“He was a dick,” Y/B/F nods, confirming this to the table. She tells Matty, “You’re right.”

“I know. She deserves the fucking world.” Matty’s voice is full of disgust as he says, and it’s a shallow dig at both Peter and Alex when he continues to say, “She certainly does not deserve someone who treats her like she's disposable when they should be feeling like the luckiest person in the world to even have her attention.”

That takes Alex aback. The small glance he saw Matty give him makes his blood run cold. Does he know?

“I like you.” Y/B/F smiles and offers to clink her glass of wines with Matty’s. “You’re down so so bad for my best friend.”

“Yeah, I am.” Matty playfully grins, and raises his glass to clink it with hers.

Both of them chuckle as they do it, but Matty catches Y/B/F’s gaze going towards the bar again. So when Matty turns to look, he’s happy to see his favourite person on the planet walking back over to the table.

And as you arrive, Matty grins, “Oh, hello gorgeous.”

“Hello.” You grin right back at him before looking round everyone and pushing another few trays of shots down for them. “More shots for you all.”

But what makes everyone on the table smile is when you place a half pint of milk down in front of Matty and say, “And here you go, weirdo.”

“What's weird about it?” Matty asks, as he now can’t wait to get his girl after proving this won’t put you off him.

You “Why anyone wants a glass of milk after they have been drinking red wine is beyond me.”

“It’s actually just a milk but thank you,” Matty smiles, “I really needed one.”

“So strange.” You say, before tucking your tray under your arm and you turn to go back to work.

Matty’s eyes go wide and he shouts, “Oi.” to get your attention again.

He needs to drink this in front of you and maintain eye contact or he’ll have to do it again.

Turning back, Alex likes the way you half glare at Matty as you raise your eyebrows and ask, “Did you just ‘oi’ me, Curly?”

“Sorry.” He says quickly but he waves you back over, “Come here please, Wheels.”

And as you do, you walk back to the end of the table and lean on it for a moment, giving your back a break from standing up straight.

“Relax, take a breather Sweetheart.” Matty tells you and when you smile he picks up the glass of milk and goes to drink it.

But before he even gets it to his lips, Y/B/F clearly forgets the rules of the milk game and she distracts you. So Matty stops himself from drinking until he can get your attention again.

You laugh at whatever Y/B/F says then but you keep looking away from him, so Matty gently but firmly, grabs your jaw and turns your head towards him. And he keeps you like that as he downs the glass of milk, looking into your eyes the entire time and watching as you become even more amused.

It’s weird for everyone involved - bar you and Matty - it seems. The Manchester boys seem to find it funny, as does Y/B/F, and the Monkeys seem perplexed at the bizarre joke whilst Alex is silently repulsed that Matty can make you smile so simply by drinking milk.

Once he finishes the milk, he puts the glass down on the table whilst he still has your eye contact and he smiles at you. And your smile is just getting bigger seeing that it seems he wanted you to watch him do that for some odd reason.

“Wow.” You praise him, but also tease, “What a good boy, strengthening your bones by drinking that.”

You wipe your thumb across his top lip and get the bit of milk that there before Matty holds your wrist so he can quickly suck it off the pad of your thumb. You smirk, “Such a good boy.”

Alex wants to die right at this very table.

Y/B/F knows you found him grabbing your jaw and grabbing your wrist so he could suck your thumb clean hot. But she giggles at the way you praise him, “Don’t unlock a praise kink at the table.”

“Please don’t give them ideas.” Adam begs, wanting to die from just seeing the interaction.

“Oh, I unlocked that a long time ago. He’s my bitch,” You smile at your friends as if you’re proud to say it. But you tease and nudge your curly haired brunette, “Isn’t that right, Curly?.”

Matty just has an amused grin on his face, which only gets bigger when he says, “Woof.”

You all find yourselves laughing at that. You really like that both of your groups of friends seem to be getting on with each other, it really does make your heart melt.

Y/B/F grins, her eyes full of amusement as she announces, “We’ve just found out something you’ll be keen to know.”

“What would that be?” You smile, looking at Matty expecting it to be something he’s told everyone.

But you’re surprised to hear her tell you, “George fancies you. He said he’s jealous you chose Matty.”

“Oh Georgie.” You grin, moving around Matty to hug the youngest boy here.

“No,” George shakes his head and tries to pull himself out of the loving headlock you’ve trapped him in, “Don't baby me. I wanna fuck your lights out, don’t Georgie me.”

You silently laugh at this, really not expecting to hear this today and all the Monkeys and Y/B/F are laughing back at you. And as you hug George again, you tease him a little, “Oh Baby, like I told your best friend, hit me up when you’re older.”

“You’re kidding, you shagged him at eighteen and I've got a bigger dick than him and I’m taller than the both of you.” George looks you in the eye and promises, “I could blow your back out and it’d be ten times better than anything he’s done to you.”

Your jaw drops and you look up to see that Y/B/F’s jaw has too. But then you catch Matt’s eyes and he shakes his head at you, “If you even think about it, I’ll never ever stop calling you a cradle snatcher.”

Yeah, you can’t deal with that.

“Tell you what,” You offer to George to bide your time, “Catch me in a few years when I’m single and I’ll say yes.”

“No, he’s my best mate, he can’t do it.” Matty shakes his head, having none of it, “Violates the bro code.”

“Threesome then?” George suggests as a final plea. And as your jaw hangs open, entirely lost for words, the drummer says, “Please.”

You feel the need to tell him, “George, I'm not a make a wish.”

“You were to Matty.” He backchats without missing a beat and you can’t help but laugh.

You trap Matty in another hug and smile, “I know.” which makes Adam, Ross, and the rest of the table laugh at.

As you move around to the end of the table, George gets all upset and he can’t stop himself from asking you, “So you’ll let Matty fuck you off the bed in doggy style but you won’t give me a chance to show you I’d never let you fall off the bed.”

“Respectful king George.” Y/B/F cackles.

You laugh but look at Matty and ask, “Did you really have to tell them we fell off the bed?”

“Blame Matt, not me.” Your curly haired brunette nods over to the drummer.

“Yeah, it was my fault that one to be fair.” Helders owns up to it and you just roll your eyes.

As you twist Matty’s curls round your fingers, you ask him, “What was the milk about?”

“Don’t you worry your pretty little head about it, Sweetheart.” Matty grins and the way you smile sweetly back at him makes Alex want to go home.

You’re too busy giving all your attention to Matty to notice though.

You’re grinning at your curly haired brunette as you tell him, “Don’t write a song and call it milk.”

“Oh,” Matty smiles, “The song will be about cocaine, but I'll call it Milk just for you, Sweetheart.”

~*~*~*~

After that whole encounter, Matty is a little touchier with you, which you don’t mind in the slightest. The few times you go back over to collect glasses, he'd given you a quick hug joking about you being his girlfriend, which had most of the table laughing.

Seeing your cheeks heat up was a nice thing for Y/B/F to witness. She hadn't seen you react to someone like you did to Matty in a very long time.

She couldn’t blame you for your summer with him last year if he made you as happy as he was making you every time you came back over.

You’d managed to sneak away from the bar with more shots again, and the table loved and thanked you for it. Matty had got up out of his seat, offering for you to sit there for the few minutes you could be with them, but you denied his offer, wanting to stay standing.

If you sat now, you wouldn’t want to get back up.

So, Matty just decided to stay stood up as well. He’d managed to sneak his arms around your waist, which made you smile when he did it.

You lean yourself back into his warm body and let yourself relax for a few minutes. You wanted to observe your friends mingling with each other as you didn’t think the possibility of it happening again was very high.

But as you watched your friends for those few minutes, you became a little distracted.

You can feel Matty’s breath on your neck and you let yourself enjoy the lone kisses he places there. That is until after a minute he kisses that spot on your neck and it’s like your whole body wakes up.

You feel his grip on you tighten as if to plead with you to let him carry on and you reluctantly do. The only reason you’re reluctant is because you’re around all your mates, but why deny yourself the simplest of pleasures.

A few minutes go by and you're still listening to George tell the group a story about one of your summers together, until you can’t really let Matty go on any more.

Not without you getting satisfaction yourself.

It made you want kisses of your own. So, you turn yourself around in his grip and pull on his hair to bring his lips to yours.

He tastes of the red wine he’s been drinking and it somehow entices you to him even more. An unfamiliar taste on those familiar lips just prolonged the kiss.

Matty could taste your favourite strawberry shot on your lips, making you all the more sweeter to him. His arms were tight around your lower back keeping you against him, knowing that you liked to be held when you were kissed.

Matty wants more of your sweet taste so it was only a few seconds before he teases his tongue into your mouth. And Matty is pleased to know that you still find his kisses satisfying as he feels you softly moan against his tongue.

Your fingers tangle in his curls and pull on them, needing a similar sort of reaction from him. He gave it to you straight away.

His hold on you tightens and the both of you wish the kiss never has to end. You’re both hungry for each other again, you can feel it inside you, but that was something you’d deal with later on.

Right now all you wanted was his lips on yours and for the kiss to continue.

Alex catches the kiss straight away, and he silently observes it.

You look happy when you kiss him, as your whole body seems to react to Matty in a positive way in general. Alex wasn’t sure if that was any different to when you kissed him though, as when you and him happened you always seemed into the kisses.

The only difference that Alex could really see was that you seem more assertive when you kiss Matty. Like your fingers have a tight hold in his hair and your hand on his chest has a fistful of his black shirt.

You seem really into each other and somewhere inside Alex, it didn’t sit right with him.

He didn’t like watching you two kiss each other. And he really didn’t like seeing Matty bite your lip, pulling you into another heated kiss.

The way Matty’s hold on you seemed so fixed, so permanent. Alex didn’t like that either.

But thankfully, Alex’s uncomfortable view was rectified by Ross catching the interaction too. The brunette who was on the other end of the table sighed, “Not again.”

This caught the attention of those around Ross, and obviously he nodded towards the two of you, who were still standing there kissing each other like your lives depended on it.  

“Oi,” Adam attempted to interrupt you but his call fell on deaf ears.

Y/B/F was grinning like a mad woman watching the interaction. So was Matt who was sitting next to her.

“You’re not in Matty’s bedroom right now, get off each other,” George says dismissively, shaking his head as everyone is now watching you and Matty finish the kiss.

“We were getting off...” You whine when you pull away, sparing a glance at George.

You don't let Matty get too far away from you though as you stay in his grip to pull him into a final kiss. And that extra one seemed to do the trick.

You get one more that lasts a second or two longer than it should, before you pull away properly and turn to your friends.

“And if it was his bedroom there’d be a lot less clothes,” You smile, standing yourself in front of Matty again, wrapping his arms back around you, “Believe me.”

“Least you remember,” Matty grins as he says into your ear for everyone to hear.

“Couldn’t forget,” You grin, turning a bit for one more kiss which he happily gives you.

You giggle at something he whispers to you after you settle back into his arms and Matt, Nick, and Jamie find themselves smiling at you. They hadn’t seen you this happy since the start of their last tour, almost a year ago now.

If you were this happy when you went over to Manchester it was really no shock that you spent pretty much half the year over there last year. If the others and Matty were your escape, then they were happy you found that.

“How is it that you’re that cute together and you haven’t seen each other for months?” Y/B/F can’t help but ask.

“I could ask you and Matt the same question,” You grin, seeing that his arm was holding her into his body which you thought was adorable.

Cute friendship things like that just made you happy.

“What about you and Alex?” She asks, and you just ignore the little uncomfortable feeling that washes over you.

“It’s the same,” You tell her, leaning back into Matty’s grip a little more. “You don’t have to be in contact with someone everyday to stay close friends. You just pick back up from where you last were when you spoke.”

The table seems to agree with you then. Even though you didn't speak to them all daily, well apart from Y/B/F, that was how it was. You did just pick back up where you left off.

“To be fair though,” You say, patting Matty’s arm that was around you, “I speak to this one a lot.”

You glance at your cousin then, thinking now was the perfect time to reveal some more information to your fake boyfriend.

You ask your cousin, “Have you told him?”

“No,” Adam shakes his head, “Not told anyone.”

Matty loosens his hold on you to look down at you and ask, “Told me what?”

“I’m coming over for a few weeks next month,” You grin, “And I’m yours all Christmas again.”

Alex’s heart drops a bit at that. Last year it had been rough spending Christmas at home without you over the holiday period.

Yeah, Alexa came and that was truly fantastic. Alex loved introducing her to his parents. But not seeing his best friend or speaking to you at all over the holidays hurt.

He just hoped that this Christmas you’d at least text him back.  

“Sweetheart, you just made my year,” Matty says, letting you out of his grip.  

However, he keeps a hold of one of your hands, twirls you around before pulling you back into him. You're giggling when you connect your lips back to his and he sweetly kisses you back.

Another hour goes by along with another rush of people coming to the bar. It was getting later now too and you were knackered.

After a few rude customers and getting some drink orders wrong, it had soured your mood a little and you were just really tired. So, when you came back over, this time for your actual break you just wanted a hug.

And Matty’s were the best.

You were standing in his arms, your face almost hidden in his neck but you were peering over his shoulder, your eyes focusing on the people who inhabited the rest of the bar. Matty‘s shirt was also quite open which left his neck and a part shoulder entirely exposed.

Matty’s holding you loosely, his hand running up and down you back gently and your lips find themselves on a spot just above his collarbone. You gently kiss it a few times before you suck on his skin there.

Literally nothing about him changes, his grip on you stays the same, he still pipes into the conversation, his hand still runs up and down your spine. Matty has no protests to you leaving a mark on his skin, which was something that made you very happy after the last time you’d tried to mark someone up.

You kiss and tease a fairly large mark on his skin, which you know Matty enjoys from the way he hums into your ear and holds you a little tighter when you teasingly run your tongue over it. You only stop teasing him when you’re spoken to.

Y/B/F breaks you from your daydream by saying, “You’re on your break but you haven’t spoken to us.”

“Sorry,” You shake your tired head, before taking Matty’s open seat at the end of the table, “I got lost people watching.”

Which was true. You were people watching over Matty’s shoulder, you even waved to your best work friend Sarah when she smiled knowingly at you.

“Who wanted me and what did you want me for?” You ask with a tired smile.  

“Just to say hello,” Jamie grins at you.

You lean forward, crossing your arms and resting them on the table, “Hello, Cookie.”

“You look drunk,” He chuckles.  

“I’m drunk tired,” You nod yawning, “Only had three hours of sleep.”

Alex shakes his head, knowing what lack of sleep did to you, “That’s awful.”

“I know, I need to catch up,” You agree.  

You look down towards where Alex’s hands were resting on the table then and you note that there’s a shot left from when you brought some more over with you. You’re confused as to why it’s still there because usually they disappeared within the first minute.

You nod down towards it and say, “Are you done drinking or something?”

“Oh,” Alex says, glancing down at the small glass. He shakes his head a little and slides the green shot over to you, “No, I saved it for you because you didn’t get one this time.”

You smile at the gesture and pick the glass up, “Thanks Al, but the apple ones make me feel sick.”

Matty watches the interaction, trying to keep a smile from his lips. It was pretty comical to him that your ‘best friend’ as you called him didn’t know that your favourite sours shot were the strawberry ones.

He silently found it even more funny when you immediately just gave the shot to Y/B/F. But Matty‘s heart goes out to you when you yawn saying, “I can’t wait to get some sleep.”

You did look really tired and Matty could tell straight away that your mood had dropped since earlier. That’s why he’d hugged you for so long before you sat down.

“Doubt that’s going to happen,” Matt smirks, nodding to Matty who is still standing just beside you.

“I’m not shagging him tonight,” You shake your head, “I’m too tired.”

You peer up at Matty to also tell him no with your eyes, but when he sees the look he seems a little hurt.

‘Good,’ was all Alex could think.

“Don’t give me that look,” Matty scoffs at you, looking quite offended, “I know when you're tired. I’m not thick, I wasn't going to try anything tonight.”

And you smile sweetly at him, knowing he was telling the truth. God, he was adorable.  

You like that he always knew things about you and you didn't have to say them outloud. So, you can’t really stop smiling at your cute curly haired brunette.

Your eyes flick down to Matty’s collarbone and you're pleased you see a bright red mark has already formed just above it. Your eyes then flick up and catch his brown ones, and you can see both humour and mischief in them.

You share a smile before your work friend comes over to you and interrupts the little moment.

“Okay,” She raises her hands in defeat, pretty much standing beside Alex as she looks at you, “I know you told me to leave you alone but I couldn’t.”

You just smile at her and she introduces herself to the table, “Hi, I’m Sarah.”

Everyone politely greets her back saying a hello, and you have to bite back a laugh when you see Matt’s eyes widen a little when he sees how pretty she is.

“I just wanted to say a quick hello because I hear stories about yous all the time and it’s nice putting names to faces.” Sarah tells everyone

“Stories?” Georges fakes a gasp.  

Matt bites his lip in fake fear, “Oh, no.”

“Anything bad?” Y/B/F asks her curiously.  

Sarah grins and laughs a little, “Oh lots of things bad.”

“Nothing bad about a Matty I hope,” Matty says, sneaking his arm back around your back.

You smile at the feeling and lean into him.

“Oh, no,” Sarah grins at you and then up to Matty, “Nothing bad about you… Quite the opposite if I’m honest.”

“Sarah in the nicest way, fuck off,” You grin, “I don’t need his ego bigger.”

She giggles then and she likes seeing Matty interact with you. She thought you were quite cute together, but she’d tell you that back behind the bar and save you some embarrassment.

“Hi, I’m Matt,” The drummer extends his hand to Sarah, and adds in a flirty tone, “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Helders, pipe down,” Y/B/F half laughs at her best friend who’s shaking the pretty girl’s hand.

Sarah looks at you excitedly with wide eyes though, “This is Helders?”

“Yeah,” You nod with a smile, knowing how much she actually liked him from your stories.  

She turns back to the drummer and grins, “I just wanna kiss you.”

“Oh, right,” Matt grins back at her, not believing his charm worked that quick.

“That was fast work, mate,” Alex chuckles, nudging his best mate's shoulder.

You just shake your head at your coworker, “Sarah.”

“You’re so sweet,” She tells Matt, “Thanks for looking out for her because until she brings you up in her stories I’m ready to throw some fists.”

“Anytime,” Matt laughs, “She’s a good one.”  

“Okay,” You stay standing up, letting Matty take his seat back. You nudge Sarah a little, “Duty calls.”

“Oh,” Sarah grins at you, subtly glancing at Matty before looking back to you, “You didn’t wanna get paid to leave more marks then?”

“Marks?” Y/B/F questions, and your cheeks go hot.

“Sarah, we’ve gotta collect glasses,” You say, grabbing the few that were on the table before you push her away from the group.

The last thing you needed was her bringing up stuff about you being heartbroken when Y/B/F knew nothing about it. Mentioning it in front of Alex also wouldn't be very wise, you wanted to forget not relive.  

You’d not told her the full story but she’d got the jist of it. She didn't know who the band were either so it made things easier to explain, not that she’d ever rat you out though.

“Nice to meet you all,” She waves before you both head back to the bar.

“The fuck she on about marks for?” Matt asks Y/B/F both obviously confused.

Or they were until your best friend spots Matty trying to subtly move the collar of his shirt over his neck.

Your best friend's jaw drops though.

She gasps looking at Matty, “She didn’t.”

The curly haired brunette fakes innocence for a good minute until your best friend gets up out of her seat and heads over to him. She pulls on his shirt a little and sees a red mark forming, just above his collarbone that was quite clearly a fresh love bite.

“She did,” Y/B/F says with her jaw hanging open.

Matty just smirks and shrugs his shoulders before buttoning his shirt up a little more. He couldn’t really deny it now everyone around the table had seen the proof.

Alex hates the sight of it.

“Excuse me,” Matty waves your best friend off his shirt so she couldn’t try and see the mark again. “That’s between me and someone’s cousin.”

Matty, George, and Ross hear Adam groan then and they all laugh a little. As do most members of Arctic Monkeys, but one sat in silence, sipping his beer.  

“Excuse me, she tells me everything,” Y/B/F says, a little offended that she was being denied information about her best friend.

“I doubt that,” Matty says in a low voice, sparing a look at Alex.

And it’s at that point that Alex knows that Matty knew about the tour. And not just about the flirting and kisses, but about the sex too.

And that scared Alex a lot more than he’d like to admit.

“Try me, Healy,” Y/B/F pressed on, getting Matty’s full attention back.

“Did she tell you about what happened…” Matty trailed off letting Alex stew for a moment longer, “the day we went ice skating?”

Your best friend grinned at the Manchester lad then, “Ha, she did.”

“You know your shit then Y/B/F,” Matty smiles before downing the last of his red wine, “I like you.”

Matt seems curious then though, and after a look at Jamie and Nick who also looked intrigued, he asked the singer, “What’d you do after ice skating?”

“A lot,” Matty smirked at the drummer, “Can’t get into detail, it’ll ruin Adam’s night.”

Y/B/F just starts hysterically giggling. The details of that evening was something that amused even Matty, but both Matty and Y/B/F knew Adam would run for the hills if he heard it.

Matt chuckles at Matty’s joke then, but he then asks your best friend, “Tell me.”

“Absolutely not,” She shakes her head.

Matty chuckles as he watches the drummer press on, obviously wanting some insight, whilst Matty shrugs on his leather jacket, “Going for a fag. Be back in a few.”

Alex is just about to say that he’d join him, hoping to maybe have a private word with him, but that plan falls short when your best friend gets in there before him. So  Alex stays sat down, quietly sipping on his beer.

Y/B/F says, “I’m coming too.”

“Come on then, Love,” Matty says, holding out his arm so he can drape it over her shoulder.

After another hour of chatting between the bands, friendships seemed to have formed and the beginnings of a bromance seemed to have developed between Jamie and Adam.

They obviously had a lot in common both playing lead guitar and Adam, always being eager to learn, loved asking interesting questions about his music. Anyone observing your little group could see they were getting on well.

So, when a discussion that Jamie and Adam were having opened up to the full table, obviously music related, everyone was deep into the conversation. No one had spotted you for the past hour and a half so no one expected you to come running back over to the table.

When you did actually do that, you gave everyone a fright. Especially Matty.

You come bouncing back over and you startle Matty by cupping his face, which a second ago was facing the other way, and you immediately pull his lips to yours. And the whole table is shocked by how full on the kiss is.

Even Matty himself looks shocked by it, but he kisses you back. But you’ve completely dominated the kiss, you’re all over him.

Your tongue is in his mouth this time around and Matty seems to be loving every second of it. His arms have wrapped around you and you’re practically sat on his lap wanting to be as close to him as possible.

Alex had to admit that he was wrong about something he’d convinced himself was true earlier. He’d been sure it was Matty who instigated your earlier kiss but seeing this showed him that it was definitely you who initiated it.

And you were eager for him, too.  

“What the fuck,” Nick laughs, watching the kiss like everyone else.

The whole group was watching like it was the last TV show to ever be broadcasted. Eyes were glued to every tug of Matty’s hair or every time you bit his lip to pull him back into another kiss.

“Where the fuck has that come from?” Adam shakes his head, looking away, not wanting to see your tongue piercing go into his mates mouth anymore.

Your best friend has a theory as to what may have changed since the last time you’d seen them though, “Has she had a Jäger?”

Matty puts his thumb in the air as you carry on kissing him. There was no way he could get out of the kiss he was just very happy he was along for the ride. But he can taste the alcohol on your tongue.

“That explains it,” Your best friend smirks a little, explaining to the rest of the onlookers, “Makes her hyper... She’d definitely awake now.”

Matty breaks away from you a few seconds after he hears your best friend tell the group that. You certainly weren’t adhering to your tired pass on sex now, as you were sat on his thigh pretty much grinding away on it.

Matty hands went to your hips and paused your movements. He told you in a low voice, “You do that here and we won’t make it back to your flat.”

“There’s a staff room,” You say, pecking his lips again, keeping him close to you.

Alex is certain that all the oxygen leaves his lungs as he waits to hear Matty’s reaction to that proposition.

Matty shakes his head grinning, “Get alcohol into you and you’re a dominatrix.”

“You like it,” You murmur before you kiss him again.

And it's another feverish kiss that Alex can’t bring himself to watch any longer. He just pulls his phone out and replies to Alexa’s last text.  

Nick interrupts, “Y/N/N, the rest of us are still here, you know?”

You pull away from Matty, knowing you had to stop sometime soon, “Sarah just fed me five Jägerbombs because I’ve finished. And now I’m happy.”

“Why are you so happy?” Ross asks you.

“Because I got thirty quid in tips and that pays for two bottles of vodka on the way home,” You grin, not being able to hold back your excitement of now being free to get drunk with your friends.

“Thirty quid, fucking hell,” Alex chuckles, even when he used to work in a bar he never came out with that much.

George jokes, “You been doing strip teases in the back?”

“My strip teases are fifty, minimum,” You joke giggling away, “Premium content, you get premium price.”

“Oh and Matty’s the lucky one who doesn’t have to pay,” Matt laughs, raising his eyebrows suggestively at you.

“Nearly just got one,” Matty laughs back.

“Again, you enjoy it,” You grin before pecking his lips again, “So keep quiet.”

“I’ll never speak again if you keep coming to Manchester, Sweetheart,” Matty grins, pecking your lips once more too.

“But then I’d be bored in Manchester,” You pout, half of the fun was his flirting.

“Excuse me,” Adam scoffs and you see George shaking his head.

Ross reminds you, “We exist you know?”

“You’re my little brother,” You give Adam a pointed look before you move on to the other two, “George you’re fit but too young and Ross, you’re just too cute.”  

You knew they weren’t meaning it sexually but Matty did keep you on your toes with his flirty words and what you both got up to when you were alone. And you just couldn't see that happening with your cousin’s other friends.

Matt then also adds with a smirk, defending your case, “And Matty’s your boyfriend, right?”

Your best friend laughs, “Oh, the Matt’s are sticking together.”

“What have I started?” You grin back at Matty and he just laughs a little.

“Let me go and get my stuff and we can go,”  You grin, fiddling a bit with Matty’s shirt.

Matty sensibly tells you, “I’m not following you.”

“Aw,” You pout, slipping off his lap.

Matty shakes his head, saying, “Y/N,” as a slight plea to stop you from making him feel bad.

Y/B/F sticks up for her new curly haired friend, “Hey Y/N/N, as much as we wanna see you pull Mattys hair out, we don’t want to deal with you getting arrested for having sex at work.”

“Only get arrested if you get caught,” You laugh, and you kiss Matty once more before you leave to grab your things from the staff room.

~*~*~*~

“Jesus,” Adam sighs, watching as you almost fall over your own feet again.

You weren’t even that drunk, you were just in a giddy mood that made you want to go between members of all the groups. One second you were with Matty, the next with Jamie and then over to Y/B/F.

You were like the ball in a pinball machine, always too unpredictable.

What made it worse was that you were all standing stationary outside having a cigarette whilst you were waiting for the taxis to arrive. You’d all just been in the shop getting some alcohol and mixers for back at your flat.

“You know what random song I’ve got stuck in my head?” You ask your best friend before taking a drag of your cigarette.

“What?” She asks you.

You grin telling her, “You’re The One That I Want from Grease.”

“Not again,” Matty shakes his head at you before he wanders away hiding himself behind George.

“Fuck off, Healy. Grease is such a good film,” Y/B/F scolds him.

Matty just starts mumbling things into George’s back and George is chuckling away at his best mate.

Y/B/F just ignores him and finishes her cigarette. Then she asks you, “Wonder how that’s got in your head though?”

“Oh, I do wonder,” Matty says, coming back round with a smirk before lightly kicking your ankle.

Alex watched the action and he saw that he’d kicked your ferris wheel tattoo. He frowns a little, as did his friends.

“I don’t get it,” Y/B/F says, evidently confused.

Matty explains, “Well, she’s wearing her jeans turned up and she’s obviously seen her tattoo and with us around she’s gunna think of that song.”

“Bold of you to assume that you’re the one that she wants,” Matt smirks at him, nudging his shoulder slightly.

“I mean, not that bold. Imma shag him later,” You breathe out the smoke that’s in your lungs before you step into Matty‘s grip and when his hands go around your waist and you’re leaning against his chest you start to explain.

“But he doesn’t mean it that way,” You start, “Last summer we were all at a fair and we went to a funhouse and I had a proper Sandy moment. Even got a picture in the turning barrel with my shirt hanging off my shoulders.”

Everyone found themselves smiling at your story. The Monkeys and Y/B/F smiling because you looked so happy telling it and the boys who were actually with you were smiling at the memory of the fun night out.

“Just gotta find your Danny Zuko now,” Y/B/F grins at you.

You playfully fan your face as if you were really flustered, “No one will ever beat Danny Zuko. No one… He’s the reason I like brunettes, I’m sure of it.”

“I’ll be sure to thank John Travolta when I next see him,” Matty chuckles and you roll your eyes and burst out laughing.

George sighs, shaking his head, “Oh, here we go.”

“I’m just kidding. My Mum hasn’t met him… I don’t think,” Matty thinks out loud and you just laugh, finishing off your cigarette.

Nick questions what he means and Matty explains who his Mum and Dad are. It was a quick conversation but then Jamie got all giddy asking if he’d met anyone famous, despite Jamie basically being famous himself.

So, Matty fell into a conversation about how he went to Noel Fielding's birthday party not too long ago and he met James Cordon there. You’d been really jealous about that because for one, you loved Noel Fielding as he featured in a TV programme you loved, and two, James Cordon was currently in one of the biggest TV shows of 2008, Gavin and Stacey.

When the conversation died off a bit though and Jamie started chatting to Adam again, you felt the need to ask Matty, “Do you still like it or do you regret it yet?”

Matty looked confused for a second but then you looked down to his jean covered ankle and kick him like he kicked yours. He looks up at you and smiles, “Don’t regret it at all. It was a good day.”

“Regret what?” Alex asks, overhearing your conversation.

You look at him as if he should already know, “Our tattoo.”

“Wait...” Jamie stops and double checks, “You got the same?”

“Yeah, she asked me on the last day she was over. I’ve got a load that don’t mean anything, so may as well get something with a good memory, ey?” Matty smiles down at you and you're beaming back up at him.

That made Alex jealous. You’d never once asked him to get a tattoo with you, yet you’d spent a summer shagging the prick who had his arms around you and now the both of you had a permanent memory of it tattooed onto your skin.

Alex hated it.

“Who’d want to forget Adam decking in that barrel?” Matty smirks at you.

You can’t help but burst out laughing as if you’re witnessing it all over again.

~*~*~*~

You hug yourself into Alex’s side in the taxi back to your flat and say, “I’ve missed you so much... You have no idea.”

You’d gone with the Monkeys in the taxi and Y/B/F had gone with your Manchester bunch. You thought it was only fair as you’d spent more time with your Manchester lot before work.

“I‘ve missed you too, Angel,” Alex smiles at you, grabbing your hand and interlocking your fingers.

You couldn’t help but ask him, “How long are you back for?”

“A fair while,” He tells you, “Got a couple of months before we have to record the next album.”

Your eyes go wide looking round them all not believing it, “Months?”

“Yeah,” Nick grins and Matt’s nodding at you.

You grin, squeezing Alex’s hand, “Amazing.”

You lean on him and close your eyes, feeling the tiredness creep back in due to the lack of alcohol. But as you do that, you feel his hair brush your cheek.

“Can’t believe how long your hair is now,” You say quietly, reaching up with your other hand to pull on the ends of his long brown locks.

“Think it looks alright?” Alex asks you, leaning his head against yours.

You nod, “Yeah, of course... Think you could go longer and it would still suit you.”

“Go full Julian Casablancas?” Alex smirks, “I don’t know, Y/N/N.”

“You could, I’m sure,” You say encouragingly, picking your head up to look into his brown eyes.

Alex chuckles, “You think I could look as good as Julian?”

“Don't think anyone looks as good as Julian but you can give it a go, I'm sure... And if nothing else it will hide your famous face,” You say, pinching his chin and shaking his head a bit.

Alex just laughs.

Soon enough you're back at your flat and your taxi gets there before the other one so you’re flicking on all the lights as your friends make themselves at home.

“I really love your place, Y/N/N,” You hear Nick tell you and when you look round at him he’s looking around your lounge.

“Thank you, Nick,” You grin.

“Do you guys want a drink?” You ask, getting the vodka out of your bag.

You end up making everyone a drink before you go and get yourself changed. You just decided on putting a vest top on and throwing a hoodie on over it.

When you came back out, you could see that the others were here now, too, and you went and hugged Adam. You just got more cuddly when you were drunk and you felt like you needed a hug from your family member.

There was just always something about Adam that just calmed you down. You weren’t worked up right now but he just made you feel even more relaxed.

You were all drinking peacefully in your lounge again, the conversation flowing much easier than it was earlier on because they’d all become better acquainted. You really liked that they were getting on with each other and that they seemed to mix so well.

The conversation drifted back to your new home from time to time, someone pointing out one of your paintings or one of your ornaments that they liked. You were grateful for all their compliments, but in truth you wanted to know when the Monkeys were finding their own places.

Because you doubted that they’d want to go back home and live with their mums and dads forever.

“You’s should get a place somewhere now the money’s coming in,” You tell the Monkey lads.

You were aware that their first album didn’t make them loads of money despite the album being a massive success. But you knew now that they were making a lot more than they were last time around and with going in to record their third album soon, you knew they were doing well for themselves.

“I’m actually moving after the next tour,” Alex tells you, and you’re pleasantly surprised.

“Oh, right,” You smile, really pleased that he was getting himself somewhere.

You could imagine Alex getting one of the nice flats closer to the city centre. He liked having things to keep him occupied, so having a city lifestyle around him would definitely suit him well.

“Whereabouts?” Y/B/F asks curiously, from the seat beside you.

Alex grins, “New York.”

You chuckle at his joke, “Funny... Seriously though, where are you moving? My guess is city centre.”

Y/B/F also giggles at Alex’s joke, but she guesses differently, “Nah, he’ll stay closer. Maybe Ecclesfield.”

“Erm, no,” Alex catches both of your attention again, “I am being serious. I’m moving in with Alexa in New York.”

Your heart sinks and a ball immediately makes its way to your throat. You try your best to keep your composure though, but you and Y/B/F go dead still.

“Oh, right,” Y/B/F spoke up first and you could hear the slight hurt in her voice.

You try your best to sound happier for him, smiling brightly, “That’s great.”

“Yeah,” Alex smiles brightly at you.

You could feel your eyes threatening to well up at that. You kept them at bay though and asked the others about their plans.  

“What about you guys?” You asked the others.

Matt was the first person to speak up and you held your breath hearing what he had to say.

“I’m putting a deposit on a house not too far from here actually,” Matt tells you and that makes you feel a little better.

At least you weren’t losing everyone.

“Really?” Y/B/F asking her best friend like he’d told her the best news ever.

You were happy for her. At least she could keep her best friend.

Matt nods at her and you can tell she’s completely overjoyed despite the first bit of depressing news you’d gotten.

“Me and Nick are just getting a flat somewhere for the time being, until we find somewhere more permanent,” Jamie tells you and you can tell he’s excited.

You can’t help but smile at him.

“We’re gunna do that one day,” Matty speaks up then and you look across the room at your curly haired friend.

“What’s that?” Nick questions, probably not hearing him over the music you had on because he was closest to the speaker.

“We’re gunna all share a big flat, aren’t we lads?” Matty says a little louder before turning to his best friends.

They all nod in agreement and you like seeing all their hopeful smiles. It would be so cute if they actually all did live together.

“Yeah?” You ask, feeling the ball come back to your throat.

This time being because the idea of the four best friends living together is adorable and also because you’re still not quite over Alex dropping that bomb on you. You couldn’t believe he was just up and leaving.

Your best friend discreetly grabs your hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. She knew how you must’ve been feeling after Alex told you both that, because her heart dropped too.

She could only imagine the pain that you must have been feeling. He was your best friend after all.

“Definitely,“ Matty smiles at you. “That’s always been the plan.”

“Think you’ll do that when you're as known as this lot?” Y/B/F asks them, nodding towards the Monkeys.

“Yeah,” Matty nods, “They’re my guys, they are my family. I wanna live with the idiots.”

You can’t help but smile at his grin.

“Would you move away?” Nick asks him and Matty nods.

“We‘d definitely get somewhere in Manchester first though, then maybe after a few years, if the band got bigger, move to London,” Matty told them and he got nods of approval from them all.

Matty felt the need to add on, “You know, home is home. Don’t wanna live away when we’d be touring all the time anyway...”

“Got people to stick around for,” Matty says and looks straight at you which makes you smile.

His eyes then move back to Alex and he smiles, “But New York mate, that’s pretty cool.”

“Yeah, it’s a sick place, too,” Alex grins, “I’m so excited.”

And you can tell he is. You can see it in his body language and in his eyes.

You know your best friend really well and if you hadn’t seen him play somewhere like Glastonbury, you’d say this was the most excited you’d ever seen him.

“Alexa has been telling me about this massive bookshop that I can’t wait to go around in,” Alex grins and then his eyes connect to your Y/E/C ones. ”Definitely need to write down some poetry books for me, Y/N/N.”

“Will do,” You smile but it doesn’t reach your eyes.

Thankfully, Alex doesn’t notice, but your best friend does.

“Y/N/N, come toilet,” She says, giving your hand another squeeze before letting go of it.

You just nod and follow her. You’re glad to hear the boys all starting to chat about other things like where the best place they’d toured was.

You just feel numb though as you follow your best friend into the toilet. As soon as you’re in there she locks the door and envelops you into a massive hug.

And you just break down hugging her back. You let the tears fall that you’d been holding back for the last few minutes and just sob into her.

You’re crying for a good minute in her arms before you start to calm down a little bit and she sits the both of you down. You’d put the toilet seat lid down and sat there whilst she sat just next to you on the edge of your bath.

“It’s okay,” She tells you, wiping your tears away.  

You shake your head though, “It’s not.”

“It is,” Your best friend tries to tell you.

“I shouldn’t be crying over him moving away,” You tell her wiping your own tears now, using toilet paper this time instead of your hoodie.

“I wanna cry too,” She tells you, her eyes are soft when she says, “So, I can only imagine how you’re feeling.”

“It isn’t even that I like him like that anymore, you know that, right?” You wanted to check with her through your tears.

You mentioned you thought that you may have felt something between you before you went on tour with them. But she was so busy with work when you were actually on the tour, that you never told her about things progressing.

And you called Matt a few days after you left saying that you weren't telling Y/B/F anything about the kisses that you and Alex shared on tour. You’d made the drummer promise he wouldn’t either.

You wanted the memories buried and you were just thankful to Alex that hadn’t seemed to have told the other lads just how much ‘fun’ you’d got up to that night they went out.

“He’s just one of those people that I click with,” You explain as your tears continue to fall. ”He just knows me through and through, and I miss him a lot as it is. So, never seeing him is gonna be so much harder.”

“I know, I know,” She coos, her hand on your knee rubbing it a little to let you know she’s there.  

“It’s not fair,” You cry, keeping the tissue against your eyes as you cry some more.

Your best friend swallows the lump in her throat, needing to be strong for you, “I know.”

After you calm down a bit, you’re thankful that the bathroom is near your bedroom so you can quickly slip in there and go outside to have a cigarette, which Y/B/F joins you for. She just shouted over to the boys that the both of you were ‘going for a fag’ and they all took no notice as they were deep in conversation.

After you’ve finished your fag and your best friend grabs a makeup wipe and removes the tear stains from your cheeks, you head back out to them all. You were glad your cheeks weren’t obviously puffy and that your big light in the lounge wasn’t on, because you could sort of hide better in the dimmer lighting.

You didn’t want people knowing you were upset.

You sit yourself down in the loveseat that you and Y/B/F had just previously taken up and take in everything. You just watch your friends interact together and try to memorise it, because you were certain it was never going to happen again. Especially now.

Matty seems to pick up on your slight change in mood though, even though you were hiding it pretty well.

When people start moving around for drinks and helping themselves, which you were fine with, Matty comes over and takes the free seat beside you.

After a silent minute between you, Matty tucks your hair behind your ear, which draws your attention to his face. He offers you a soft smile, which you return.

You both had your heads leaning on the settee, facing each other and just staying in your own little bubble for a moment. You appreciate the comfortable silence as his thumb caresses the back of your hand.

Matty speaks up a few seconds later, quietly pointing out that, “You’ve been crying.”

“I’m fine,” You whisper back to him knowing he could hear you.

Your faces were a few inches away and with most people in the kitchen, the volume in the room had gone down a lot, too.

Matty knows and can see that you weren’t fine, despite you saying so. So, he addresses the situation directly, continuing your whispers.

“You’re going to miss him, it’s understandable...  Considering everything,” He says, his thumb still tracing up and down the back of your hand comfortingly.

“It’s not that,” You shake your head slightly, lowering your voice even more, ”You know I don’t like him anymore.”

“I know you don’t,” Matty agrees, “I can tell.”

“How?” You ask him.

Matty smiles, once again tucking your hair behind your ear as it moved when you shook your head, “Your eyes... They give away a lot more than you realise.”

“What are they telling you now?” You question, actually curious.

“That you’re a little sad but you’re pretending to be happy,” Matty tells you and he’s spot on.

He continues to add, with a little smile, “And that you’re a little drunk.”

You chuckle, before honestly telling him “I wish I was more drunk.”

“I brought the strawberry shots?” Matty offers, knowing it was your favourite part of a party - you getting your strawberry shots.

“This is why you're my favourite,” You tell him, grabbing his hand and giving it a thankful squeeze.

Matty laughs and gasps a little at your honesty, “I’m gonna tell Adam.”

You laugh knowing he’s joking and you're thankful for him to have come over and had this little chat with you. It definitely made you feel a little better.

“But seriously though, Wheels…” Matty gets your attention once more, ”You don’t have to worry about that with us…”

“From the amount of time that lot have been telling us that they’ve been away, I don’t know why when they come back home they would want to be nowhere near their families...” Matty tells you, not really understanding Alex’s wish to move so far away permanently.

So Matty assures you, “And you are our family and you live in this country, so here is home.”

You lean forward and trap his lips with your own. You kiss him softly and slowly, trying to savour it, but also trying to explain how much you appreciate what he just told you.

Your hand coming up to stroke his jaw as another silent way to express your thanks as your lips moved together. It’s not a long kiss by any means, but your actions speak louder than your words.

Matty knows what you’re telling him.

“Thank you, Curly,” You say when you pull away, immediately moving to wrap your arms around him.

As his arms go around you and you’re rubbing his back you tell him, like you tell all your friends “I love you.”

“I love you too, Sweetheart,” Matty tells you before kissing the top of your head.

Whilst that happened though, your kitchen was getting rowdy with glasses clinking, new friends having loud conversations and old friends having hushed ones.

As your best friend was making you both a new drink, she kept Alex in conversation until everyone else slowly filtered out of the room. She had a laugh with him whilst he made his own drink but once it was time for them to both head back out to the others, she softly grabbed his wrist, silently asking him to stay for a second.

“Fair warning, Al,” Y/B/F gets his attention when he turns back to her from the doorway.

He comes back into the kitchen a little, sensing it was something important from her facial expression, “She got upset before because you’re leaving.”

Alex frowns a little, not understanding. He tells her, “I’m not leaving.”

He had no intention to leave anytime soon. He'd probably leave when the other lads decided it was time to head out.

But it was only 2:30 a.m. You all had plenty of time to drink and talk.

“New York,” Your best friend reminds him with a serious look.

Alex’s heart sinks, “Oh.”

“Yeah,” She nods at him.

“About me going or how I said it?” Alex asks her, just needing to check.

Maybe he shouldn’t have just dropped it on you like that.

“Alex, you’re her best friend,” She says, “Of course it’s about you going. The last time you saw her was your birthday and you’ve not had any time for her since. Then you tell her you're moving around the world... That’s a lot even for me, let alone her.”

“I’m sorry,” Alex says, pulling her into a hug seeing that she was a little emotional too.

He hadn’t meant to hurt the both of you by telling you his news tonight.

Half an hour later Alex was itching to get you on your own, noticing that your mood was slightly lower than it was before. Your beautiful smile wasn’t nearly on your face as much as it had been earlier and he felt so bad.

So, when you excuse yourself from the room and you head into your bedroom, Alex only waits about two minutes before he follows you. Entering your room, he notices it was empty, seeing only that white fluffy bunny teddy lay in the centre of your bed where it was earlier.

But then he feels the breeze as he closes your bedroom door behind him. He can also smell a little tobacco in the air, so he heads to your window to join you.

“Hey,” He smiles as he climbs out, seeing you sitting on the metal steps just a bit further along from your window.

When you see him, you stand yourself up so you don’t leave him standing alone as there was only room for one person to sit. You smile, “You alright?”

Alex doesn’t answer your question though, he just takes another step towards you on the metal structure to assure you, “You know you're the top reason I come home, right?”

You frown at the brunette with the long locks, unsure what he was meaning and where this was coming from. You ask him after taking a drag, “What?”

Alex tells you, watching your reactions closely, “I come home because I get to see you... Seeing Mum and Dad is a plus yeah, but when I think of home, I think of you.”

You don’t give anything away for a few seconds, as you just stub out the end of your cigarette. You give him all of your attention again, then.

“What are you trying to say, Shakespeare?” You ask him, knowing he’s trying to infer something instead of just saying it out loud.

His hands come and hold your hips, as he’s trying to make sure you believe every truthful word he tells you, “I just don’t want you to think that just because I’m moving, that means I’m never going to see you again or never talk to you again.”

“Al, I know,” You say, trying to hold back tears that were threatening to build behind your eyes again.

“Well, I want you to hear it from me,” Alex tells you, a hand coming to rest underneath your chin to make sure you won’t look away from him when he tells you what he needs to say next.

“I love you a lot, right, Y/N,” Alex starts, “You’re my best friend and you’re always going to be my Angel who loves her poetry and you’re who I phone when I need someone to talk to, and I’m always gonna be your Shakespeare.”

The assurance he just gave you makes a single tear slip down your face and you try and look down to hide it but Alex keeps you in place. He wipes the tear away with his thumb.

“Don’t cry on me,“ Alex quietly pleaded, needing you to be okay.

“Don’t leave me then,” You say in a strained voice, more tears gather on your waterline.

It really hurts Alex hearing that and seeing you in tears again. You sound so pained and he knows that you don’t want him to see you like this.

Alex knew that you never liked saying how much you missed him, thinking it would make him feel guilty for following his dreams. And he knew, without you having to tell him, that this was the same situation.

You never wanted to deny him anything, but the fact that he was leaving was going to hurt you. And he knew you couldn’t avoid that.

”I’m not leaving you,” Alex shakes his head, feeling a little lump form in his throat.

He’d want nothing more than for you to come with him and live over there. But you had your life here, your new flat and your business bound to set off and thrive any time now.

So, even if he offered, he knew you’d refuse it.

Alex can see you’re about to argue back so he gets in just before you and assures you, “I’m coming back. It's not forever.”

You knew that was a lie though. But it was a lie you were willing to believe for the sake of your heart to stop hurting.

You’d pretend that your best friend wasn’t going to leave you and you’d stay as happy as you could whilst he was around for the next few months.

You nod at him, and swallow away the lump in your throat. It hurt but it needed to be done. You needed to be strong and support him in his life choices.  

After all, living in New York sounded amazing.

But then Alex says something that makes you crumble a bit.

“I’m sorry,” He whispers to you and you’re searching his brown eyes for what he’s sorry about until he gives you your answer.

Alex repeats louder, “I’m sorry... For how things were, back on that tour.”

You shake your head, partly not wanting to think about that right now, and partly because that wasn’t what you were upset about at all.

You tell him, “I’m not sad because of that Alex. I’m not angry about that anymore...”

“It’s got nothing to do with that,” You state seriously, taking a step back furiously wiping your tears away that have split down your face.

Alex watches you for a moment, practically seeing you find the correct words in your head that you wanted to say before you told him whatever it was. You take a deep breath before you start.

“I just…” You look up before closing your eyes and reopening them when they make contact with his brown ones, “You know me best… You always have... I don't have to say anything for you to know what I’m getting at. We like the same stuff and we always have, we’re practically the same person.”

“You know me better than anyone. I’ve always gone to you to talk about things…” You take a deep breath, wiping more tears away as you tell him, “You used to live a ten minute walk away from me and now you’re going to be in another country with a different time zone.”

Your eyes close again then and you feel Alex come back and wipe away your tears. You're thankful for the silence because you’re not quite done.

You try and swallow the lump in your throat away again but it won’t quite budge. So when you open your eyes and look into his brown ones again, you can only conclude in a whisper, “It’s gonna be hard.”

“I know, Angel,” Alex whispers back to you, still wiping away more tears when they fall onto your cheeks.

He wants to cry too but he feels like he’s got to be strong for you. So, he keeps them at bay.  

“I’m just… I’m gonna miss you a fucking lot,” You say managing to say those words at your normal volume.

Alex can only manage a whisper back though, “I’m gonna miss you, too.”

He pulls you into a hug after that, and you’re not sure how long goes by, but it feels nice to be truly held by your best friend in this warm hug. You hold onto him until your heart feels less heavy and your throat doesn't hurt anymore.

You pull out of the hug after several minutes, thankful that the need to cry has passed. Alex looks down at you and offers you a sad smile, you can see tear stains on his cheeks too so you wipe them away.

God, what were you both like? Crying outside on a fire escape at three in the morning.

You try to smile in a happier way back up to him. You try to make the subject a little happier.

“I have a request though... For when you’re over there so we have to stay in contact,” You tell him, feeling the need to create some sort of arrangement.

The thought of you both having to do something makes you happier. Because you’d hate to never speak to him ever again just because he wasn’t living over here anymore.

”We‘re not gonna lose co…” Alex trails off, seeing that you needed something to latch on to, “Go on.”

He’d never let you lose contact with him anyway. Never in a million years would he let that happen.

“In this fancy bookshop I want a book each month,” You tell him. ”You read it, write in it, annotate it if you want and then you send it to me... I’ll do the same back to you and we actually talk about it.”

“So, we’re starting an international book club?” Alex grins down at you, liking the idea but also finding it a little funny.

“Yeah sure, if you wanna call it that?” You grin but you tell him honestly, ”I just don’t ever want to phone you up and we have nothing to talk about.”

“Y/N/N, it’s not going to be like that,” Alex assures you, tucking that piece of hair behind your ear so you couldn’t hide your face from him.

“I know,” You nod, “Because we can talk about books.”

“Angel, we’ve never had nothing to talk about,” Alex reminds you.

Even when you were angry with him, there was still something to speak about. In the seventeen years he’d known you, you’d never not had anything to say to each other.

“I know, I know,” You nod, “But I want to be sure there never is.”

Alex nods understandingly and he knows that you know that’s what he’s meaning by it. But he once again just has to assure you, “There never will be.”

“True,” You smile up at him.

“It's because you like the sound of your own voice so much, isn't it?” You joke, “That’s why you're the singer.”

“Wow, that was nasty,” Alex playfully scoffs.

You giggle, shrugging your shoulders, “I’m a nasty person, Shakespeare.”

“Nah, Angel,” Alex shakes his head, “You're too good for that.”

You chuckle before stepping into his grip again and wrapping your arms around him. Once his are securely around you again, you softly tell him as your hand rubs his back, “I‘m going to miss you.”

“I’m going to miss you, too.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: Thoughts??? Reactions??? Predictions??? Please let me knowww x

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[nriacc]

One For The Road | NRIACC: Part 16 |

Nothing Revealed In A Common Crisis 

Plot by @imagine-that-100​​ and @ghostlightqueen

Written by @imagine-that-100​

Description: | Here |

Word Count: 16.1k

Warnings: This series contains mature content and themes throughout

A/N: We have an emotional one, Wheels is working through some things bless her but she’s getting better. That being said, things are looking brighter on the horizon for a certain someoneeeee. Really hope you all enjoy this part, it only gets better from here on out (for the time being). Thank you so much for reading x

| Series Masterlist | N’s Masterlist | NRIACC Playlists | The Band’s Info | Read on Wattpad | Read on AO3 |

A detail that you hadn’t yet told anyone whilst being on tour with the lads for the two months you’d been away, is that every time you were travelling on the bus at night, you hated sleeping. Because after the first few times back in March, you knew a nightmare was impending.

You don’t know whether it was because you were in a moving vehicle, or if it was some form of PTSD. It may have even been the process of trying to get yourself over Matty, which you’d been trying your best to do over the past fortnight since you’d briefly seen him and Adam at the festival. Regardless, if you slept on the bus whilst it was moving, it resulted in nightmares.

That is why you decided to go to sleep last night as soon as you got back on the bus, hoping that if you got to sleep before you started moving, that the awful dreams would be kept at bay. But of course, that didn’t happen.

You’ve just woken up in a sweat, tears streaming down your face and your throat all choked up. This nightmare was the worst so far, because this one just replayed the memories of the crash that you struggled to remember straight to the forefront of your mind.

It was like you were reliving the accident again, but this time you couldn’t hear you and Matty arguing - you couldn’t hear anything besides the low rumble of the car. You even saw glimpses of after the crash had happened. Your eyes briefly opening in the midst of the wreckage to see your blood covering you.

So, it was no surprise that you woke up in a panic. Your other nightmares had been about obscure car crashes, ones that didn’t actually exist, ones that your subconscious made up to scare you. But you know that the one you’d just dreamt was the real one.

Immediately you flick on the light in the bunk and check yourself, your hazy mind needing to make sure that you were physically okay and not bleeding. But your mind is playing tricks on you and you can feel pain burning through your body where all your scars are.

After the pain subsides, your mind instantly drifts to Matty.

Is he okay?

Of course, you knew he would be, but in your panic you just needed to know. You pull your phone out and scroll back through your group chat that was just you and the boys.

You’d sent them all a picture of their poster for one of the shows they had yet to do in America that was up in the venue the Monkeys were playing at that night. You also spotted on a poster that they were supporting The Neighbourhood later on in the year too, so you made them tell you about that.

It was only a short chat between you all, but Matty had sent a few messages in the chat, so seeing that they only came through a few days ago gave you some peace of mind. But it did nothing to stop the awful memories of that day resurfacing every time you close your eyes to try and get back to sleep.

You just keep crying and you can’t calm yourself down. Your heart feels like it’s beating out of your chest, as if you’re still experiencing the accident all over again.

You try to keep your emotions to yourself, biting your tongue and burying your head in your pillow as you cry. But after ten minutes you feel a panic attack on the brink of forming and you don’t want that.

So, you creep out of your bunk silently, and shuffle across the floor to Alex‘s which is the bottom one opposite yours. Your heart is beating so fast that you don’t know what else to do other than seek your best friend's comfort.

You pull back Alex's curtain and see in the dim light that there is just about enough space for you to squeeze in next to him. You don’t want to wake him up, but you think that if you can at least hug him or something that it may calm you down.

His back is towards you as he’s facing the wall of the bus, so you quickly wipe away the tears currently on your face and try to squeeze in beside him. You just about do so, not bothering him at all, and you lay on your side behind him.

After a second, you decide to hug him because you need physical comfort. You try to be as gentle as possible as your arm goes around his waist to not wake him up, but after a few seconds you feel his hand take ahold of yours.

Your best friend then sleepily jokes, “You know crawling into my bed is a little creepy, Angel.”

You know he’s joking and you wish you could giggle at it like you half wanted to. But you’re still crying and it wouldn’t come out right.

“‘M sorry.” You just about choke out.

Alex turns himself over immediately, as he can tell just from your voice that you're upset. And when he sees that you’re crying, the jokey smile falls off his face.

Seeing the tears streaming down your face hurts him a hell of a lot. Your face is covered by darkness again when he reaches over you and pulls the curtain shut to give you some privacy.

“What’s wrong?” He

You sniffle, “Bad dream.”

Alex can see you’re wanting to continue but you just need a moment to catch your breath. As you do that and close your eyes, he can see pain flood your face.

“I saw it all again, Al.” You tell him a second later as he wipes away your tears. You open your eyes and quietly sob as you tell him, “I remembered the accident like it was happening again.”

Alex’s heart sinks immediately. Automatically he’s reassuring you, “It’s not, you’re okay. You’re safe.”

“It felt like every scar I’ve got burnt with pain again.” You explain honestly as you cry. “I just wanna forget.”

You bury your head into his neck then, hugging yourself into him and you just cry for a minute as you try and process your emotions. Alex hears your strained voice say, “I don’t want to remember it like that again.”

“I know, I know." Alex softly assures you, stroking your head as you hug yourself into him. “You’re okay. I promise you’re okay.”

After a few minutes of him holding you and telling you sweet nothings to calm you down and assuring you that you’re safe, you calm yourself a little. You’re still crying, but you’re not quietly sobbing anymore, which Alex takes as a bit of progress.

“I’m sorry,” You say, picking your head back up to look at him, but before he can tell you to stop apologising you continue, “All I do is cry on you all the time. You must fucking hate me.”

“You know I don’t,” Alex promises, “Now, come on - talk to me.”

Alex knows you so well by this point that he knows you need to talk about it to get it out of your system. That is what you’d been doing about the Matty situation and the past two weeks you’d been slowly getting better and getting back to being yourself.

You ask, wiping your tears, “Do you think it won’t come back if I tell you?”

“I don’t know,” Alex says honestly, “But it might help.”

You nod and bury your head into his chest again, but you feel your previous tears on it. You sniffle as you tell your best friend, “Gonna need a new top Alex.”

There was no way if you were explaining that you wouldn’t continue crying. And you knew you wanted to get it off your chest, which means that the material on Alex was going to be soaked in your tears.

“Use me as a tissue all you want.” Alex jokes, ”I’ll just give you the top after.”

You chuckle a little bit, but it’s soon replaced by you crying a little more. You explain to him what you remember quietly, making sure that you keep your volume down like you had been doing.

It takes a fair amount of time to tell him everything, and you’re fairly certain you feel him wipe his own tears away at one point. But he gets you through it by holding you close, kissing the top of your head, and reassuring you that you’re okay and safe when you need it.

And you feel so much better for getting it off your chest.

~*~*~*~ 2 weeks later ~*~*~*~

You feel like you’ve changed a lot in the month since you saw Adam and Matty at that festival. You’d accepted the fact that Matty was with someone now and whilst it still hurt, you tried to focus on the pain he’d caused you in order to move on.

Everyone who you’d spoken to about your lasting feelings for him had told you that you deserve better. And you were starting to believe them.

You deserve better than someone who would take the stress of their new lifestyle out on you.

You deserve better than someone who would abandon you in a hospital.

Better than someone who cheated on you four times in the space of a week. And better than someone who would recreate your past relationship trauma and use it as a means to hurt you whilst you were still recovering from a car crash that the someone in question debatably caused.

You knew that Alex blamed Matty for the accident since finding out that Matty had been high that morning. And the more you thought about it that way, the angrier you got about it.

Whilst it didn’t really help you deal with the accident, it did help you feel something other than sadness and longing when you thought about Matty. You were done being the sad girl, pining after the boy who obviously didn’t want you anymore.

So, you took the 102 necklace off for the first time since you put it on back on Boxing Day.

You stopped pining and accepted that you needed to move on. And you found yourself rapidly becoming a new version of yourself.

The only thing that held you back from being really happy was the fact that you were still really struggling to draw.

Thankfully, you had managed to do the album art for Catfish and the Bottlemen as it was literally an outline of people. It took you all of five minutes to do the really rough version, but when you sent it through saying you could do better but this was your idea, they said it was perfect and didn’t want it tweaked.

The other covers for their singles were just as easy and you got them all done in the space of the first month of you being away on tour. So, you got a healthy payment for that which would keep you afloat back home for a bit longer if you needed more time off when you got back.

But still not being able to draw how you used to be able to was really getting to you. Like today, it was roasting on the bus as you travelled up Missouri, so you got your sketchbook out that you had brought with you out to try and get some practice in.

You are all sitting in the back of the bus watching the shit TV after a long hot day in the sun. It was really, really warm out today but thankfully the evening had cooled down a lot.

A steady breeze was passing through the bus, keeping you all cool. But everyone was still dressed as down as they could be.

You were dressed in your joggers and a Calvin Klein bralette as you were sweating so much earlier that you just needed to shed off your top to keep cool. You want nothing more than to not feel self conscious in everyone’s presence, because then you could have put your shorts on.

But you still hate the sight of the long scar on your leg so you definitely weren’t going to get it out for everyone else to look at too. Granted, the lads wouldn’t say anything to you about it and you know that, but even the thought of them seeing it made your heart rate increase tenfold.

So, to distract yourself from the heat, you chose practicing your drawing. But that’s quickly becoming a whole other issue entirely.

You’re slowly getting yourself worked up because your hand isn’t cooperating with you like it used to.

You know you should stop as you feel yourself slowly panic about the thought of not being able to pursue your favourite pastime anymore, but you don’t. Drawing used to be so easy for you, it was like second nature, and you loved everything about it. The finest of details that you could create with the way that you held the pencil used to be so easy for you.

Not so much anymore.

You’d been attempting to draw for near enough an hour and you were slowly getting there with your little drawings. But as soon as you start adding the finer details to the drawing, things start to go wrong.

Your hand keeps cramping far too soon. You used to be able to draw for hours on end and not get cramps as bad as you’re getting now.

You’d already stopped a few times to massage your hand, trying to mimic the same actions that Matty used to do to ease your muscles. You’re not as effective as he was though, as even when you’ve been doing it for five minutes you don’t feel the same relief as when he did it.

After ruining your third drawing, you release a shaky breath and just decide to leave it as it is and turn the page. You swallow the lump in your throat that’s stopping you from crying and start on drawing something else.

You decide to get a picture up on your phone of a tree that you’d seen when you were roaming about earlier today. The tree was a dead one, it looked completely lifeless and to an onlooker it probably looked disgusting.

But it just reminded you of the video for Antichrist that Adam had shown you. Which made you want to draw it for him and send it to him. Maybe even to Matty too.

However, after ten minutes your hand is killing you again and it’s beginning to shake. You try working through the pain but you’re getting nowhere.

It hurts you both physically and emotionally. All you want to do is draw a fucking tree that a year ago would have taken you no more than 15 minutes to complete.

But you feel so let down by your own abilities that you just start silently crying over your work that you're leaning over, trying to continue through your pain.

After another five minutes you’d gotten yourself into a really bad state. You end up throwing your sketchbook onto the floor, along with your phone and your pencil.

You just need to cry and get out of the presence of everyone to let your emotions out. No one said anything as you hastily got up and shut the door to the back lounge harder than you were meaning to.

But as soon you hear the door slam behind you, the tears just start pouring out of you. You try to stretch the pain out of your hand too, in hopes to try and massage the pain away. But it doesn’t work.

Everything just fucking hurts you these days.

Your head - from all the crying.

Your body - from the accident.

Your heart - from everything.

You just don’t want to have to deal with things being painful anymore. You want things back to how they were.

But unfortunately you’re going to have to adapt to your new situation. Find your new limits. And work through the pain to build up your stamina again.

You cry for a little bit in the bathroom on the bus. Changing into your pyjama shorts before quickly getting into your bunk, which was one of the bottom ones, and hastily shutting your curtain before anyone could see the scar on your leg.

Not that anyone had come to check on you yet anyway, which you’re thankful for. You just want to cry and fall asleep.

Alex is extremely worried about you. Especially when he picks up your sketchbook and sees the tear stains on your brilliant piece of work.

His heart goes out to you. Alex just wants to take your pain away.

If he’d have seen you struggling he’d have stopped you, but when he caught a glimpse of your work he thought it was great. The last he checked you didn’t look upset either, you were just concentrating and he didn’t want to disturb you.

After talking to the lads about what to do, they all just suggest giving you a bit of time, knowing you like to work through things on your own, before Alex goes to check on you.

So, that’s what Alex did for an agonising 15 minutes before he couldn’t take it anymore and got up without saying another word. The interior lights that illuminate the bunks walkway are on now due to it being around 11 p.m., and Alex can see your curtain is shut.

It hurts him to think that you’re just hurting in there by yourself. He just wants to take your pain away.

Alex closes his own bunk’s curtain opposite yours, because he has a feeling once you are comfortable with him that you won’t let him go. Recently, when you’ve been upset you never once sent him away, you’d always clutch to him because that was what you both did.

You get each other through things. If you ever sent him away, he would truly know you weren’t okay.

Thankfully,  tonight was not the night for that, because as soon as he opens your curtain and sees you lay crying on your bed, you break down a bit more and gratefully accept the hug that he’s offering you.

You pull him into your bunk after that, not really having a great deal of room for the both of you, but it was enough. If Matt and Briana could share a bunk for the night, you could do it to get a cuddle.

You shuffle yourself right back so he can get in properly. As soon as he is and the curtain is closed, you bury your head into his body and let out more tears that you were holding back.

Alex doesn’t say anything as you cry, he just holds you close trying to make you feel as comfortable as possible while you go through the motions.

Eventually, the tears slow and you’re wiping them away with the tissue that you’d brought with you from the bathroom. You’re still hiding into Alex’s neck and he’s slowly getting the confirmation about what had upset you.

You tell him about your worries of not being able to draw anymore and of your hand hurting you. How you feel useless because you can’t draw how you used to and you feel like you’re a burden to everyone else around you.

“You’re not.” Alex promises.

“I feel like I am,” You say honestly, “I just feel like I’m getting in everyone’s way and I feel like I bug you a lot.”

You feel Alex shake his head then, but you quickly add in a sob, feeling guilty, “I don’t want to be pestering you all the time.”

“You couldn’t pester me if you tried, Y/N.” Alex says as he continues to stroke your hair in an attempt to calm you down, “I’ve loved having you here with me and so have the lads.”

“Just try and calm down for me,” He says before kissing the top of your head.

He hugs you into him tightly until your breathing slows and he can tell you’re a little better. But he has no doubt that you aren’t finished crying yet.

“You good?” He asks you.

“Yeah,” You tell him and Alex finally lets himself relax a little.

He then lets his fingertips start running up and down the centre of your back. The sensation makes you shudder, as you’ve only got your bralette on and Alex seems to notice.

“Sorry,” He apologises for making you jump, just going back to hugging you instead.

“No, it’s okay. You can carry on,” You tell him and he slowly does.

You decide to just be honest and explain why you jumped at his touch, “I’m just not used to people being affectionate anymore.”

Alex understands and decides to joke a little to improve your mood, “That mean you want more hugs?”

“I’ll always take a hug from you.” You chuckle.

“Good.” Alex smiles and you both go silent for a minute.

You only speak back up because you just feel the need to get everything off your chest. So you tell Alex, in a quiet voice, “I just feel like I’m hiding all the time.”

“You know you don’t have to do that around me.” Alex assures you, before adding, “Around us.”

“I know.” You nod a little, “Think it’s just a mental block or something.”

You take a deep breath before admitting, “I think I just don’t want more people to be scared of me.”

“Scared of you?” Alex questions softly, not understanding where you were coming from in that sense.

“Scared of touching me.” You explain, “Matty was petrified when we first went back to my flat after the hospital and almost all the time when he came from Manchester before we split… I’m surprised he even hugged me when that cunt messaged me and I was upset.”

“I think Adam thinks he’s gonna hurt me if he lays a finger on me. George was even weird the last time I saw them, when I nipped back to Manchester to see Adam before this tour.” You hate thinking back to it, because you were so close with both of them, “Ross was the only one who actually gave me a proper hug goodbye.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N/N,” Alex says genuinely, ”Maybe they are just a little nervous because the last time they saw you before that, you were upset?”

You know he’s talking about Christmas, but you can’t help but comment, still a little hurt by his hesitation to hug you before you went away, “But I saw Ad after that.”

“Yeah, but you know what he's like.” Alex has to defend your cousin a little there, but still on your side entirely, “He’s too soft for his own good.”

You nod, understanding this as Adam is a gentle soul. “It’s only you and Y/B/F who haven’t really changed around me.” You point out.

“Bout the lads?”

“They are nicer to me.” You admit, regarding the rest of the Monkeys behaviour towards you, “They don’t make the jokes they used to.”

Alex smiles a little asking, “Isn’t that a blessing?”

“I just know that they are acting differently.” You say softly, not wanting to sound angry at them, because you really aren’t. You just observed the change, “Like the last tour I came on, I was getting jokes left right and centre about sucking your dick and I hate to say it, but I’d give Matt real money just to joke about that again.”

“Aw, Angel,” Alex laughs a little, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay… It’s not you… And it’s not their fault. They are just giving me an easy time of it.” But you add in a somber voice, “Sometimes I just think ‘how am I going to mend myself if nobody acknowledges I’m broken’?”

That hits Alex straight in the chest. He never thought you’d be feeling like that. And not voicing it until now surely must be a heavy load for you to carry.

“People acting differently... Just…” You hesitate, “Sometimes... Well, no, it just does make me feel self conscious.”

“Like I know that you’re missing the scar on my back on purpose,” You say, feeling him go around it again.

You have a scar from the accident on your lower back where a piece of glass had been trapped between the seat and you, managing to cut it. It was about an inch long and wasn't one you hated as much because you couldn’t see it, but you still don’t like it.

Alex tells you honestly, feeling a little bad as he pauses his movements for a second, “I just don’t want you to have to think about what caused it.”

“I think about it most days, you touching one of my ugly scars isn’t going to change that.” You state bluntly.

Alex tells you seriously then, “None of your scars are ugly.”

“Well, I think they are.”

“They aren't, I promise you.” After a second he adds, “And the one on your leg isn’t either. You don’t need to keep hiding it.”

You all but flinch when he mentions the one on your leg. You’re glad that your head is tucked under his chin, meaning that he can’t look down at it despite the fact that he’s seen it before.

“You’re beautiful,” You hear him say as his fingers trace over your scar on your back.

You swallow the lump in your throat when he says that and you try your best to believe him. But the fact that since the accident, Matty didn’t look at you the same way hurt you a lot.

The man you once loved and was once your everything, couldn’t look at you, even though he’d caused your body to change. It still made you believe that you weren’t beautiful.

It probably didn’t help that he still wouldn’t talk about that day either. Adam had told you that if it was ever mentioned, Matty would lose his temper.

But you don’t want to think about that shit anymore. You want to go to sleep.

“You cold?” You ask your best friend, as he’s only wearing shorts and a vest top.

He shakes his head, “No.”

“Do you think you will be?”

“No.”

“Okay then,” You say before you tangle your legs with his and you hook your arm around his body to pull him into you more.

He shuffles himself away from the curtain a bit more as he’s well aware that he’s going to be in here for the night with you.

“Are you okay staying with me until I go to sleep?”

“Course, Angel,” Alex says before kissing your head. Him knowing full well he wasn’t going to leave you all night.

“Thank you,” You say, feeling like you want to cry again.

Alex must be able to hear it in your voice because he says in the softest tone, “It’s okay if you need to cry some more. Don’t stop on my account, just get it out and I’ll be here for you.”

“Thank you,” You half whisper, half cry and it makes Alex pull you into him more.

You just break down again completely then. You just let everything that you’d been holding in go.

The accident. Matty. Pretending to be okay whilst you’d been away. Your drawings. You hand. Your scars.

You silently cry about it all.

Alex feels completely helpless to you because he knows if you want to talk, you just would. You’d cried in his arms many times in the last four years, so he knew if you wanted to say something, you would.

He knows that sometimes you just need a good cry and that him being there to comfort you does the trick. He just keeps on whispering sweet nothings to you and keeps up his movements of stroking up and down your back.

Alex reckons that half an hour of your silent crying passes before you settle down. He’s fairly certain that you’ve cried yourself to sleep when your breathing evens itself out.

You surprise him though, when he hears your faint whisper, “Thank you, Al,” and then he feels a lone soft kiss on his neck.

Alex smiles at that, before kissing the top of your head, then he tells you, “Love you, Angel. Now go to sleep for me.”

You snuggle yourself right into his body then, your nose nuzzling itself right into his neck to get comfy. And after you throw your tissue away to the end of your bed, you throw your own arm around his waist so he stays close to you.

And for the first time on this trip, you actually go to sleep feeling safe in the moving vehicle, nothing weighing your chest down and content in your own body.

~*~*~*~

You wake up the following morning with weight on your chest. Not an emotional weight thankfully, this was just a literal physical weight.

You open your eyes to find that in the night you must have rolled onto your back and Alex had started using you as a body pillow. Half of his chest lay on top of yours and his head is buried in your neck.

You can feel his breath against your neck and hear his soft snores in your ear. You’re just thankful that he doesn’t snore loudly when he is normally asleep anyway.

You feel that his arms are still wrapped around your body and you can’t thank him enough for holding you through the night. This is the first time you’ve not had a nightmare whilst the bus was moving.

Alex’s hands are under your back now, still keeping you close even in his sleep. Despite his weight on top of you, you feel like you’ve had one of the best nights of sleep you’d had since the accident.

Whether you just needed the day off, with no show to distract you from your messed up emotions, you weren’t too sure. It could have been that, or it could have been because you were held through the night by someone you trust with your life.

You start to leisurely draw random patterns on his shoulder and slightly down onto his back. Your other hand was still trapped by your side so that one was useless.

So, you're just switching between playing with his hair and tracing patterns on his back. You have no idea how long you end up for, as you get lost in your head while you aimlessly mess with his hair.

But when you start tracing random words on his back, Alex seems to wake up a little.

“What are you writing on me?” You feel and hear him mumble into your neck in a clearly very tired voice.

You hum in amusement before telling him, “You've gotta guess what I’m writing.”

You start from scratch then and you draw the letters on his shoulder blade quite big so he has a better chance of getting it. It takes him 2 minutes to slowly get that you’re writing Wake up sleepy Shakespeare and he chuckles into your neck when he does get it.

“Well, it worked. I’m up.” Alex says then and you feel him try and pick himself up from off of you.

But you being very comfy and cosy with him laying on top of you means that you don’t want him to move. When he tries to get up, your free hand moves up to the back of his neck and cups it, hoping to encourage him to keep hiding into your neck like he was doing.

“I think you should stay there.” You say rather selfishly.

You won’t deny yourself the tiny pleasure of being held so close by someone in the morning. You’re not even denying to yourself that you like the feeling of his skin touching yours, because you’d not had this type of affection for a long time.

“Why?” Alex asks curiously, settling himself back down, his face burying into your neck once again.

“I don’t know, I just like you being there.”

“Anything to do with right here?” Alex softly teases as he gently nuzzles his nose into that spot on your neck that he knows you love.

You press your lips together to suppress a smile, “Maybe.” You say calmly but he’s hit the nail on the head.

You quite like the feeling of his breath on the sensitive part of your neck, and with him gently brushing his nose across the spot, it was nice too. If he put his lips there, so help you god, you may crumble.

“Nasty of you to do that at the Brits.” You say, tangling your fingers in his messy hair.

“You enjoyed it.” Alex says, now burying his head back into your neck properly, but now when he spoke his lips were brushing the spot you like.

You don’t give him any satisfaction in your answer. Nonchalantly you say, “Might have.”

Alex tries to get up again then but you just keep him there holding onto a fist full of his hair. “Please just stay.”

“Surely, I’m crushing you?” Alex responds, sounding a little worried for you. But you’re fine, so you make a joke out of his comment.

“Aw,” You grin, and start playing with his hair again, “You’re crushing on me Alex, that’s cute.”

“Funny, you.” Alex shakes his little and you can feel him smiling.

You both laugh a little at that. You go back to tracing patterns on his back but he attempts to get up again.

“Alex, just stay there.” You tell him again as he goes to push himself off you again, “You’re actually a lovely cosy blanket.”

“Angel, you know why I need to move.” Alex says into your neck.

And of course, you know why he wants to move, but it wasn’t like you cared or were going to make a fuss about it. He was clearly referencing his morning glory that was pressing against your thigh.

“It’s nothing I haven’t felt before.” You pass it off nonchalantly as you had felt him many times years before.

Not to mention you’d slept with him twice.

“You gonna sort it out like you did the first time or..?” Alex jokes then and you find yourself a tiny bit shocked that he’s mentioned it, but you’re smiling regardless.

“Aw, now look. It’s you who’s the funny one.” You grin, twirling strands of his hair around your fingers as you aimlessly look at the ceiling of your dark bunk.

Light was filtering in through the curtain, so you know it’s morning, probably late morning with how rested you feel.

“Tease.” Alex mumbles and it makes you giggle.

“Least I didn’t give you false hope and lie to you saying that I’d sort it.” You chuckle, your fingertips still moving around his back.

Alex sighs, “True.”

A few minutes of silence pass by then and you close your eyes again, knowing if you stayed like this for another ten minutes you could easily fall back asleep. This time without the rumble of the moving bus underneath both of you. You were so glad you slept through it with a dreamless sleep.

“I need to sort myself out.” Alex is the first to speak up, moving himself a bit so he wasn’t pressing himself into you anymore.

You ask curiously, knowing he wasn’t directly talking about getting himself off. But you wonder out loud, turning the conversation a little crude, “How do you go about doing that on a tour bus?”

Alex tells you, his head still resting into your neck, “Very quietly is usually how it goes.”

“You’re not quiet, though.” You frown and say without thinking.

When you realise what you’ve said a second later, you wish you had your other hand free to slap it over your stupid mouth.

Alex tries to look up at you then, no doubt to raise his eyebrows at you, but you don’t let him. Your hand that was previously tracing patterns on his back goes to the back of his head to keep his face buried in your neck.

“I mean... forget I said that, please,” You stumble on your words as your face flames up.

Fucking idiot Y/N.

You can feel Alex’s grin on your neck, “Glad to know you still remember something after all these years.”

His hand snakes it’s way up from under your back to your face then, and he cups your cheek. Obviously wanting to test your embarrassment, “Your face is so hot."

“Are you surprised after I just embarrassed myself saying that?” You scorn yourself, feeling your cheeks heat up further as he gently strokes one.

“Don’t be.” Alex shakes his head that you’ve still not let him free, “You aren’t wrong. Just gotta control it. Bite my tongue, as I’m sure you do, too.”

“I do not do that on a bus surrounded by you lot.” You tell him seriously.

You couldn’t think of anything worse than getting caught or being heard doing that. It was embarrassing enough hearing an odd sound from the lads around you, but no way were you risking it. However frustrated you may be.

Alex seems to have no shame when he says, “You must be really pent up, then.”

“I’m perfectly fine, thank you,” You tell him as you actually let him look back up at your face now. You don’t stop him when he raises his head, you just continue to mess with his hair as he looks at you.

Alex looks into your eyes for a few seconds then, before he grins when he says, “Your eyes tell a different story.”

You don’t know how you don’t feel your heart skip a beat when he playfully teases, “Want me to help you out, Angel?”

“Yeah, you can, actually.” You nod, leaning up and whispering into his ear, “I’d love a Maccies breakfast.”

“Knew you were gonna let me down like that.” Alex groans before leaning back down to gently kiss your neck in that particular spot.

If it was more than a peck, you’d have scolded him. But you’re pleased when he just kisses your skin once and picks his head back up and smiles at you, “Let’s go get breakfast.”

“Five more minutes,” You pout, just wanting more time just the two of you.

You’re so grateful to him after what he did for you last night. After the past year, really. You don’t know what you’d do without him.

“You have your five minutes and I’ll go get dressed.” Alex says pushing himself up off you and you can’t help but grin.

“Ah, getting dressed,” You grin.

You know full well he’s not going to get himself dressed with how hard he is. A wank or a very cold shower is in his near future.

“Is that what they call it these days?” You playfully ask.

He gives you a little death stare as he opens your curtain, but you hear the amusement in his voice when he says, “Shut up, Angel.”

~*~*~*~ 2 weeks later ~*~*~*~

“Hey.” You grin as you go up and wrap your arm around your best friend.

Alex grins down at you and pulls your body into his so you’re tucked right into his side. Being held by him certainly makes you feel very secure after being out in the festival field all afternoon.

You only wish he could hold you like this whilst you were out there, but unfortunately he and the lads were having to spend all afternoon doing interviews before their set later.

Of course, the lads were told prior that they would be doing this before they arrived today. However, Alex seemed to have forgotten this morning when you all arrived.

It was around noon and because there were no performances until around 3 p.m., you and the lads were chilling in your given area backstage. There was a trailer for you all to sit outside and a canopy and tables outside for you too.

Due to America’s relentless heat during the summer though, you all chose the trailer as it was definitely cooler indoors.

It was around noon and you were all chatting about who was lined up today, and you were saying that you were really excited to head out into the festival. There are a few bands you fancied catching who were performing on the smaller stages. You were planning to spend the afternoon out there before coming back and then heading back out to the main stage to catch the Monkeys set.

As you were going through today's line up and reading out the names of the artists you were keen to see, you got interrupted by a knock on the door. Matt invites whoever it is to come in and they do so confidently.

“Hi everyone, I’m Kelsey.” A stunning brunette comes into the room and your jaw almost drops seeing her.

She’s fucking stunning. She’s wearing black denim shorts that are a little ripped at the side that are being held together by two belt buckles. She has fishnet shorts underneath the denim ones that are mostly hiding, but they are high waisted ones, so you see the top of the fishnets on her stomach.

She’s wearing a black crop top that fits her stunning figure and pushes her boobs together to make them look really nice. A baggy army shirt completes her look long with a pair of platform doc marten boots. She looks like a premium version of you in your emo phase.

You would have thought she was a casual festival goer if it wasn’t for the clipboard in her hand and a lanyard with the staff pass hanging around her neck. She continued on to explain, “It’s lovely to meet you guys.”

She shook Jamie’s hand first, before going to Matt, then to Nick and they all said hi to her. She leaves Alex until last, not that you’re surprised, because you could see her side eyeing him. Her eyes don't leave his when he sits up to politely shake her hand.

“Y’alright,” Alex nodded his hello, his accent sounding a little thicker as he’s tired.

“Great, thank you. How are you?” Her American accent rang out and you had to press your lips together to stop yourself from laughing.

Clearly she did not get the British greeting, but you find it harder not to laugh when you see Alex smile up at her and respond with humour in his voice, “Grand.”

You looked around the other lads and saw that they were equally finding the situation amusing. They must see it from a mile away these days when people have other intentions.

“So, I’ll be your handler of sorts for today. Taking you to your interviews and such.”

Alex lightly groans then, only enough for you to hear and he rests his head down on your shoulder. “Save me,” He whispers, which almost makes you laugh.

You grab his hand and interlace your fingers at the same time you whisper back, “You’re a big boy. You’ll be fine.”

And you’re sure he would be with Kelsey around. She looks just about ready to drop to her knees the way she keeps looking at Alex.

You found it a little amusing that Alex wasn’t even paying attention to her or what she was saying. He just continued to play with the rings you have on your fingers that are interlaced with his and you found yourself smiling when he started playing with your Only Ones Who Know bracelet that never leaves your wrist, too.

Kelsey had been equally annoying later on when you were all around outside. There was a moment later on when you watched her take an eyeful of your best friend, and it wasn’t subtle either.

About an hour after she came and introduced herself, she came back with their itinerary for the day, but now you were all outside making the most of the good weather. Well, the lads were.

You were in your jeans, still not wanting anyone to see the scar on your leg, but you know that you need to get over that, especially when you were just going to be with the lads. But in public you would not be wearing anything other than trousers.

But with Alex shirtless lying on the grass just in front of you, you were not surprised when Kelsey was practically drooling at the sight.

In all honesty, you’d been glancing at him too as he was shirtless and attempting to sunbathe. But he’s your best friend who’s been subtly flirting with you for the last few weeks.

And you’d been entertaining him since the morning in your bunk and winking at him when he made a comment or you’d joke back with him. But you were both just being playful with each other.

Kelsey though, she was annoying the fuck out of you. Regardless of your flirting with him, she was making it very apparent that she was interested.

Each time she came back over, her crop top would be pulled down enough to practically see all of her tits. You were really surprised a nip slip hadn’t occurred yet.

Not to mention the way she was overdoing her laughs when Alex was joking around about an hour before their first interview. She’d only come back over to show you all to the food tent, and even that was quite clearly another tactic to see if she could get him interested.

The lingering touches on Alex’s back as she directed him though the busy areas. The longing glances. Everything.

You don't want to say you’re jealous, because you don’t think you are. If anything, you may say envious because of how pretty she is and how confident she seemed, which is something you longed to have back.

But you're dressed in jeans, not booty shorts. The mere thought of your thighs being out like hers makes you feel sick.

She’s stunning and definitely Alex's type, looking at his past girlfriends. You no longer feel stunning and you feel very far from Alex’s ideal woman.

After all, why would he want damaged goods?

The revelation that it was the ugly feeling of jealousy eating away at you throughout the day hit you just before she showed them to their first interview. She called Alex ‘Darlin’’ as she showed him the way, and it was Alex pressing his lips together which made you realise you didn’t like it.

You called him that. He was your Darling. Your Shakespeare.

You didn’t like it in the slightest, and you didn’t like the fact that his sunglasses shielded his eyes so you couldn’t truly see if he liked it when she called him that.

Maybe that was why you drank more and more until you got buzzed enough to ignore it. And maybe that was why you’d removed yourself from the situation and gone out into the festival.

You’d come back just now for free alcohol instead of getting lashed on the field under the American sun alone. The food was another thing you came back for because the price was extortionate out there, and whilst you were with the band, you may as well make the most of the benefits of being on this tour with them.

You’d just come back from the food tent and after seeing no one there, you headed back to the Monkey’s backstage section, which was practically a small field, to see if any of them were still around.

And you’re really pleased to see Alex alone.

“Hey, Angel,” He smiles down, wrapping an arm around you and squeezing your hip, “You good?”

“Grand, thank you.” You say, your eyes squinting a little to look up at him, and you’re glad that you can see his eyes now his sunglasses are hanging from the collar of his white top.  

God, he looks good today. Chelsea boots, black jeans, and a white crewneck top had never looked so good - and with the greaser hair adding to it? You loved it.

You need to sober up.

“Where’ve you been?” Alex asks, not letting you out of his grasp just yet. But as you answer him, he takes a swig of his beer that's in his other hand.  

You grin, “Just enjoying the music.”

“Anyone good?”

“Ah, yeah,” You chuckle and lie, whilst poking his chest, “All loads better than you.”

Alex frowns at you then, his lips sticking out a little clearly unimpressed with what you just said.

“I joke,” You grin, stealing his beer from his hand and you say before taking a sip, “Don’t pout, Shakespeare.”

“How do I know you’re joking?” Alex grins a little then, obviously wanting a little compliment from you.

You don’t stroke his ego too much, you just smile and lean into him a little more as you say, “I’m not standing by their side, Darling. I’m standing by yours.”

“I don’t want to do more interviews, I wanna enjoy the gigs with you.” Alex pouts as you lean into him and wrap both your arms around him to bring him into a hug.  

You enjoy the feeling of his arms going around you and holding you close. You ask him whilst you're hugging, “How many you got left?”

“Four, I think.” He quietly mumbles into your neck and you feel him place a small kiss on your collarbone, where the words he once sent you are tattooed onto your skin.  

You smile, “You’ll be okay.”

When you pull away from the hug, you wobble a little. Partly because of the uneven ground beneath you, and partly because you’re a little tipsy.

Thankfully your best friend's hands find your hips and stabilise you. Alex grins, “How much have you had to drink?”

“Think I’m five double vodkas in and I've only just had some food since breakfast, so I’m a little buzzed.” You smile brightly back when you look into his brown eyes again.

As you pull out of his embrace, you ask after looking around, noting Kelsey isn’t around currently, “How’s your shadow with tits?”

“What?” Alex chuckles a little confused, an amused smile stays on his face though.

“Your new shadow,” You tell him nonchalantly, seeing if he’s picked up on Kelsey being a clingy runner.

He raises an eyebrow at you, still not quite clicking on, but your eyes glance back at the opening to your fenced off field and see her standing just there with a few other staff members. Speak of the Devil and she shall appear.

“Oh, here she comes again. Imma grab another drink.” You chuckle, turning around and heading towards the side of the trailer where a drinks cart was set up for you all.

You don’t see Alex turn slightly and see that it was the runner that you were talking about. You don’t clock him turning back towards you and smiling a little as you walk towards the trailer.

Alex follows after you, and when you feel him standing just behind you, you joke, “Oh my, you're a distance away. Shall I be Wendy Darling and sew you two back together?”

From his smile, you can see he gets the Peter Pan reference, but he doesn’t comment on it. You turn back around and grab a tall plastic cup and put some ice in it.

Alex watches as you pour a decent amount of vodka in your drink, “She’s been annoying, I’ll give you that."

“She’s been looking at you like you’re a meal all day.” You tell him as you pour the coke into your cup, “Please tell me you can see that and you don’t need to go to an optician? We’re not back home till August…”

“Might be a bit expensive on the road.” You turn back towards him, and you can’t quite read the look that's on his face.

It's somewhere between amusement and a knowing look. You’re not sure if you want it confirmed, so you ask, changing the subject, “Where are the lads?”

“In there.” Alex nods towards the trailer door so you decide to band on the door.

“Boys!” You yell, “Come out and see me before Stockholm syndrome takes effect again.”

When you turn back, the look on Alex’s face is definitely amused. Thankfully, a comment doesn’t leave his lips because you’re hugged from behind by Nick and you quickly have a catch up with your lads.

They tell you about their boring day for a grand total of a minute before they ask you who you’ve been to see this afternoon and you list off all the acts and show them a few videos. You love festivals, even if you don’t necessarily like who’s on, the whole vibe just makes the music better so you stick around for stuff you never usually would.

You finish your drink after about five minutes and you’re pleased you get about ten minutes alone with your boys. Kelsey does come over to them and gets them together for their next interview, but you don’t mind so much as after your drink you were going to head back out to the festival anyway.

You give the boys a wave before heading to the drinks cart again, getting a drink to take back out with you, loving that you can do that with your triple A pass. As soon as you make yourself another, you head out of the lads area.

You’re a little surprised to see that Alex is still there waiting for you, the others obviously having followed Kelsey back out to their next interview.

You give him a quick side hug, tucking yourself back under his arm, “Right, I’m going back out there to push to the front for your set.”

Alex’s hand rests back on your hip like earlier and you lean into him a little more. “Careful out there, Angel,” Alex says before kissing your temple.

“Always,” You smile, before telling him, “Good luck.”

Alex smiles back then, and you can see he really does appreciate the luck. “Thank you.”  

You’re about to tell him ‘any time’ and that he would smash it like he always did - you can sense his nervous energy and you’d like to make it all disappear for him. But before you can even attempt to, you’re interrupted.

“Alex, we’re ready for you.” Kelsey’s annoying voice can be heard again.

“Duty calls, Shakespeare.” You sigh and slip out of his grip, “See you later.”

“Hey,” Alex pulls you back a little then and when you’re facing him properly he says, “Give me a proper hug.”

You don’t even hesitate. You both hug each other then, your arms around his waist and his around your shoulder, and it’s a nice long hug that your tipsy self rather enjoys. You’d always find comfort in his arms, no matter where he was.

“Alex.” The annoying bitch calls condescendingly again.

Alex's hands loosen around you then and you hate the fact that it’s her that’s caused that. So it makes you want to keep him to yourself a little longer.

Just as he’s about to turn away from you, you grab his freshly shaven face with your free hand and guide him down so his lips meet yours. You kiss him for longer than you should in a public place and under the annoyingly stunning girl‘s watch. But when he kisses you back, holding your waist a little tighter, you don’t find yourself caring.

You weren’t letting someone dictate how long he was yours for or not. Not when she’d just flirt with him for five minutes like she did before their first interview.

It’s not a surprise that Kelsey is keeping her mouth shut when you pull away from the kiss. You know you’ve caught Alex off guard with it, as neither of you had entertained the idea of a kiss since the Brits.

So, it’s not really a surprise when Alex tries to stop you from just walking away after you share a moment's eye contact when you part.

“Break a leg.” You smile, slipping out of his grip.

Alex starts to follow after you, his eyes not leaving you, certainly not caring about any interview, “Angel.”

“See you later, Al,” You say, turning to head back towards the festival gates.

He takes another step towards you, but he knows you’re making a hasty exit on purpose. He says a little louder, hoping you’d stop for a minute, “Angel.”

“Look out for me during Number One Party Anthem.” You turn back and smile, “I’m getting on someone's shoulders.”

Alex smiles back and there’s a silent moment between you where you’re sure you understand each other. He definitely knows why you did that and he seems to want confirmation on it, but you won’t be giving it to him.

Hopefully he’d forget after the show.

~*~*~*~

You’d just asked the guy next to you if you could get up on his shoulders, knowing your friends are about to play No 1 Party Anthem next and the drunken man happily obliges. Once on the guys shoulders you yell, “Alex!” and wave at your best friend, knowing it was a bit of a long shot that he’d hear you but it was fun anyway.

Somehow, you managed to squeeze yourself near the front, central and slightly to the right. You’d guess you’re probably about 20 people back, so you’re definitely visible as the sun is only just beginning to set.

Their set has been amazing this evening. You’d honestly been having the best time and the people around you had adopted you into their friendship group. The night had been full of laughs and great music. You were pleased you made some temporary friends in the crowd as you feel safe being tipsy around them and you’re grateful that the guy had let you on his shoulders.

You have no clue how, but Alex spots you as he looks out to the crowd and you smile when he laughs into the microphone. It’s the most adorable sound. He moves away from the microphone and you watch as he shouts Jamie and nods towards you and you see Jamie laugh too as you manically wave again.

You notice yourself on the screen and you start laughing along with the people who are around you seeing you up there. You wave again, this time not as manically but you look to the stage again and point up to the screen to silently tell Alex.

He walks forward a little to try and see the screen and you see him laugh a little but then the camera cuts back to him. He looks back to you and you see him smile before heading back to the microphone.

“Right, Angel,” Alex says down the mic as his runner passes him his acoustic guitar. He’s smiling straight at you when he says, “Your favourite next.”

You cheer loudly and the rest of the crowd starts making noise with you and all the lads on stage laugh seeing your happiness at the fact you’d started the cheer. That is until Alex starts strumming his guitar and he goes serious again.

He sings the entirety of that beautiful song looking straight at you and you're singing it back to him as if it’s just the two of you messing about in your flat.

When Alex finishes singing, he blows a kiss to the crowd but you know it’s for you. His eyes seem to have never left yours, aside from checking he had the right guitar chords.

It was just confirmed it was for you when he said, “Love you, Angel.” down the microphone before the stage lights go down.

~*~*~*~ Two days later ~*~*~*~

“Which do you usually get?” Alex asks as he follows you around the large section of perfumes in this ridiculously large shopping centre.

America really overdid it with some things. This place you were in was easily twice the size of the Trafford Centre, except nowhere near as grand and slightly fewer shops and a larger food hall.

Regardless though, it meant you could shop for the things you wanted and made it easy to get the changes in place in your life that you wanted. Your perfume that you received at Christmas, that you’d just finished, was an easy way to start.

“I don’t want the one I usually get,” You shake your head, browsing the new ones. You don’t want the one that Matty usually gets you anymore. “I want something new.”

Alex follows you to the next bottle along and watches as you give it a sniff. He has to stop himself from chuckling when you pull your face, clearly not liking the smell.

As you move along to the next perfume on the stand, you kick your heel up and nod down to them, telling your best friend,  “I wanna get rid of these tatty Vans too.”

“Want new ones?” Alex questions curiously, making conversation as you seem to not like the next perfume either.

“No, I want a change.” You sigh, looking at your best friend when you say, “I wear these like they’re leather boots, they’re so worn.”

Alex looks really good today and you can’t help but notice. His hair is slicked back like usual, with a few loose strands falling onto his forehead which makes him somehow more attractive. The magenta shirt that he has on makes his dark eyes stand out more than usual. The black jeans and chelsea boots complete his look off today and you can’t help but admire how good he looks.

“Need some better quality shoes.” You continue, “I quite like your chelsea boots, so I'll probably go for some like yours.”

Alex nods and follows you round to the next stand. One of the brand names draws your attention as its intention is clearly meant to draw people who believe that a perfume can make you sexually desirable. However, it sparks a memory that Matt had told you about a few days ago.

“I believe you only discovered sex about three years ago?” You ask Alex in a hushed voice.  

Matt had told you about the interview that him and Alex had with some guy the other day and apparently Matt nearly lost his composure when the guy said that Alex had only discovered sex a few years ago.

Little did everyone know...

Alex knows what you’re referring to straight away, and his face falls as you grin at him. He warns you, “Don’t.”

Alex wanted to die on the spot when the man said that.  

“I think it’s very funny that the topic of conversation in your interviews is if you make music to have sex to.” You grin as you continue to browse the perfumes, “And the fact that the last guy said you discovered sex for Suck It And See, may be the highlight of all your interviews so far.”

“I know, right?” Alex chuckles, “Pretty hard to believe.”

You like the perfume you’ve just sprayed onto the slip of paper, so you quickly ask Alex, “Do you like this one?”

After you hold it up to his nose, Alex shrugs, “It’s okay, doesn’t really remind me of you though.”

You nod and continue searching for a new perfume. You aren’t going to commit to one half heartedly, so you keep searching.

“What a pickle I’d have left us in if I’d only discovered sex three years ago, ‘ey?” Alex smiles as he follows you to some other fragrances.

You pause instantly, turning back towards him with narrowed eyes but a hint of a smile on your lips. Alex smiles as you shake your head, telling him quietly, “Do you forget that’s just between us?”

“Couldn’t forget it, Angel.” Alex grins, ushering you towards more perfumes so you can get a move on, “Don’t want to.”

“I know it’s been years, but shut up.” You say, looking around and seeing that Matt and Breana are thankfully not in this section of the shop, “I don’t want it being a big deal.”

“Smell,” You tell your best friend, holding another sample towards him.

“Still not you.” Alex shakes his head.

Going back to your previous conversation, you continue, “You know what Matt would be like if he found out.”

“I dread to think.” Alex says as he watches you head towards a tall blue star shaped bottle of perfume and spraying it onto a sample card.

You smile as you take a sniff of it, “This one is so nice.”

After offering it straight up to Alex, he instantly nods, “Yeah, I like that one.”

Alex watches as you lean down to the shelf below the open bottle and pick out a sealed box of the perfume. He’s about to ask why you’re grinning but you turn the box around towards him as you say, “Ah, seems like it was meant to be.”

Angel by Mugler

~*~*~*~ One Week Later ~ ~*~*~*~

“Hey, Angel,” Alex says, coming back into the bus, out of the Illinois heat.  

“You okay, Al?” You grin, seeing him come back in still wearing his three piece suit. That silver blazer looks amazing on him.

Your best friend nods, “Yeah. Are you?”

“Yeah, it’s been really interesting seeing how you do everything.” You tell him honestly, thinking back to half an hour ago when you were outside watching everything. You’d come back in to cool down and have something to eat.

You’d been too warm today and you were sure you were going to pass out earlier if you didn't get a drink. You’d decided to bite the bullet today and wear shorts around your friends and thankfully a big deal wasn’t made out of it.

Surprisingly you didn’t actually get the self conscious feeling around your friends and you’d been so distracted watching Jamie film with the tractors that you didn’t feel self conscious around the crew either. You were really grateful because you needed the air on your legs.

“I don’t know how you don’t get sick of it, though,” You chuckle at your best friend as he sits down at the table opposite you, “You’ve done like twenty takes next to that shed.”

“Yeah don’t get me started. I think they want to do it again.” Alex laughs.

Both of you chill out for a little bit then, casually chatting away about the scene with the fireworks they were going to film later when it gets dark. Alex hadn’t mentioned anything since you kissed him the other day and you sort of hope it stays that way.

Despite the flirting carrying on between you, nothing more had happened. You’re not too sure it would, but Alex had just cracked open a bottle of white wine and you both know what happened at the Brits when you got lashed on white wine, so you would never say never.

“Got a question for you.” Alex says, pouring you both your third glass.  

You raise your eyebrows for him to continue and you’re a little shocked when he asks, “Do you want to be in the video?”

Alex continues to explain, “Because we need someone to wear the jacket and you look really good in it.”

“Erm,” You think out loud, feeling a little stressed at the thought.  

Alex can sense your hesitation so he immediately assures you, “You don’t have to, but if you want to, you can.”

You pause and think about it for a second. You definitely regret not being in the Chocolate video with Matty, and you feel like everything over the past year has been utter shit, so maybe you should do something that’ll make you smile.  

“Will my face be in it?” You question after a sip of your wine.  

“No,” Alex shakes his head, “They just want the jacket and for whoever to turn a little bit so it’ll just be your back.”

“If I do it, do I get to keep the jacket?” You jokingly question with a grin, having already made your decision.

Alex laughs but nods, “You can keep it anyway, Angel.”

“Yeah, I’ll do it.” You smile, “Just as long as you promise that my face won’t be in it and my scar won’t be either.”

“I promise.” Alex crosses his heart before he assures you further, “I wouldn’t let them use what you’re not comfortable with anyway.”

“Thanks, Al.” You grin.  

~*~*~*~

“You look good,” Alex grins at you as you come out of the costume trailer.

You’d had your hair and make up done too - despite the fact that your face wasn’t going to be in it and your hair was going to be tucked into the One For The Road leather jacket. The lovely ladies putting you in the clothes they wanted you wearing were lovely.

They basically put a long sheer black dress on you over your black denim shorts and a black crop top. You also have your new Chelsea boots on and, of course, the One For The Road leather jacket.

“Well, I had to try and compete with you,” You grin at your best friend as you walk down the steps and into his arms to give him a quick hug.

He looks so good in that silver blazer, it pains you. Damn alcohol was your enemy, a single drop and it clearly got you horny.  

“Flattery will get you nowhere.” Alex chuckles as his arms go around your waist.  

You chuckle but hum sarcastically, “That’s a first.”

He pokes your side then and it makes you jump in his arms. You pull away from the hug and give him a little death stare.

“How nasty of you, Shakespeare.” You shake your head and move over to the other lads a bit.

They’re still all in their suits and looking very dapper. Breana, who is joining you all on tour for the next month, is looking stunning, as per usual, in her white summery dress that blows in the slight breeze.

“What exactly am I going to be doing?” You ask Alex as the other lads were already having their own conversations.

Alex stands just beside you as he tells you, “I think they want you to stand in front of that tractor.”

He points to it and you see that it has its headlights on, so immediately you unhook Alex’s sunglasses from his shirt and put them on. “Not getting blinded when I’m not even getting paid.” You joke and Alex laughs.

“Okay,” You get your serious head on for a second then, “So, how do you want me?”

But Matt obviously takes his opportunity to be a lad when it’s practically handed right to him.

“I’m sure Alex would suggest on your knees.” Matt grins at you and your best friend after he puts his arm around Breana.

“Ahah,” You chuckle a little, grinning as you nod, “I’m sure he would.”

Alex doesn’t seem to appreciate the joke though, as he shakes his head, “Do you ever shut your fucking mouth, Helders?”

“Alex, calm yourself.” You say calmly, patting his chest before turning back to the other lads and Breana. “Besides... I’d only do that for Jamie today. It being his music video n’ all.”

You can’t help but grin, overtly looking Jamie up and down,  “Look very nice in that suit, mister Cook.”

“You mean like you look every day, my love.” Jamie flirts back with an equally pleased grin.  

“Ooo, Jamie.” You play up to him because you all know it’s only fun and games as Jamie is happily married to Katie. You continue to joke, “Compliment me again and I might just kiss you.”

“And I might just enjoy it.” Jamie teases right back and you won’t lie, you like that he’s playing up to it.

What your body seems to like more is the fact that your best friend pipes back up and defensively scoffs at Jamie, “You’re aware you still have a wife, right?”

“And I’m sure she’ll understand when we explain Y/N was on her knees begging for some attention.” Jamie smirks, brushing Alex’s comment off with ease.  

You nod, looking back to Alex, playing along with Jamie’s jokes. He doesn’t look impressed and you’re sure he won’t like how in a second you say, “I’d start now but can’t get the dress muddy.”

Alex’s whole face seems to fall then, not that he looked all too pleased before you said it, but you want to giggle at his reaction. Is someone jealous?

“Y/L/N and Cookie.” Nick grins, looking from Jamie to you, “Something I never knew I needed.”

“As soon as my take is done Jamie, I’ll come find you.” You grin, and you bite your bottom lip playfully once you say, “Can get my knees dirty then.”

“I’d have you on your back before your knees.” Jamie promises, “Ladies first n’ all.”

Your breath hitches in your throat and you feel heat rush to your cheeks at the mere thought. Holy shit.

Matt and Nick are chuckling and Breana squeals slightly. Alex is silently frowning beside you, but you’re just staring at Jamie with your jaw agape.

“Well…” You say a little dumbfounded as Jamie smirks at you, “I don’t believe Alex has ever offered that.”

You see your best friend turn towards you a little in your peripherals, probably looking a little offended that you’re carrying this joke on. But you’re still playing up to Jamie.

Jamie shakes his head at his mate before he looks back to you. “Inconsiderate of you, Al... Why do you think me and Katie have been together so long?”

Your brain kicks back in a little and you jokingly flirt, holding a hand over your heart as you say, “Man after my own heart.”

“Well, Y/N, what can I say?” Jamie shrugs, smiling innocently, “Just being polite.”

Your composure drops a little and your hands go over your hot cheeks as you shake your head. “I’m pained that you’re in a serious relationship right now.”

“Are you actually blushing?” Nick asks, obviously loving this little flirty interaction.

You admit in a squeaky voice as you fan yourself with your hand, “Maybe.”

Jamie takes no prisoners as he carries on his flirting, “If you’re blushing at that, you should hear what else we have in store.”

“Do tell.” You smile, but bite your lip to stop yourself from fully grinning like a fool.

Jamie tilts his head to the side and smile, “Well, after I go d-”

“Okay, so,” Alex interrupts, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you over towards the tractor. Away from the other lads and Breana, who you can hear are all now laughing as your best friend pulls you further away.

As you walk, you ask Alex, “How is it that you’ve become more jealous in your old age?”

“Not jealous, just have to prepare you for your debut in front of a proper film camera.” Alex says nonchalantly, but of course you can tell he’s jealous.

“How thoughtful.” You say sarcastically as you roll your eyes.

Bullshit.

“Anyway,” Alex stops you a few meters away from the camera and the director. Your best friend's hands rest on your hip as he says, “It's not me who started the jealousy.”

“And what do you mean by that?” You question.

“Oh, okay,” Alex smirks as he’s finally got a moment to bring up last week, “So, you didn’t kiss me the other day because you for some reason didn’t like that runner?”

You knew that the kiss would come back to haunt you. But did you regret it? Absolutely not.

“Can’t I just kiss my best friend when I’ve had a few drinks?” You question, trying to play it off casually.  

Alex shakes his head, holding your hips a little tighter. “Not immediately after slagging her off for looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and kissing me right in front of her,”

He had you there.

You don’t give him the satisfaction of admitting it. You deny the allegations, “I was not jealous.”

“Then I’m not jealous now,” Alex reiterates, raising his eyebrows to show he’s serious.

You sarcastically approve, “Right.”

“Right.” Alex mimics.

Both of you share a look and you can tell straight away that he’s lying. He was definitely jealous.

“You nervous?” Alex questions, nodding towards the cameras and diverting from the subject.

You tell him the truth and nod, “Little bit.”

“You’ll be fine.”  Alex smiles reassuringly.

Everything he does makes you feel safe and it makes your heart swell. What more could you ask for than to feel safe and appreciated by someone who had taken care of you at your most vulnerable point.

So, you don’t even hesitate to explore it. You smile up at him and say, as you mess with the black lapels of his silver blazer, “Might need a kiss for encouragement.”

A smirk slowly makes its way to Alex’s face then, “Might you?”

“Yeah,” You grin and then pat his chest, ”I’m gonna go ask Jamie.”

You smile when his arms tighten around you and pull you back the step you’d just taken. You're flush against him now, and you’re pressing your lips together in a failed attempt to hide your amusement.

“Thought we weren’t jealous?” You ask him, amusement clear in your voice.

“M’ not,” Alex lies, “But you could at least ask me.”

You tilt your head to the side then, silently showing him that you’re thinking about it. Your slight frown makes it seem like you’re not so keen on the thought.

“Know you want to,” Alex whispers encouragingly and you can’t hide your smile any more.

You grin, “Do I?”

“Maybe.” Alex shrugs, and he grins right back.  “Your eyes usually give you away but you're wearing my glasses.”

You ask him, “Can I kiss you or not then, Shakespeare?”

“Course you can.” Alex nods down at you and he dips his head towards yours as you go for the kiss.

It’s just a gentle and soft kiss, definitely one you enjoy and encourage a little more. You bring your hand up to cup the back of his neck as Alex's hands move around your waist and he pulls you into him more.

Yep. You definitely like this.

Before either of you gets to deepen it, you both hear a low wolf whistle that you bet is Matt. You both smile into the kiss a little then, before you pull away, keeping your eyes averted from your other friends.

They are all grinning like idiots watching you both together again. They are definitely happy for you, but it doesn't mean they couldn’t ruin the moment and bully you.

“You’ll do amazing.” Alex assures you and he pecks your lips again before saying, “Just be you.”

You frown a little then, still playing with the back of his hair as you point out, “I’m not acting if it’s just me.”

“I’d have asked an actress if I wanted acting. I want you.” Alex tells you sincerely and your heart swells.

He’s so fucking cute.

Your heart beats a little faster as you smile lovingly up at him, “Aren’t you adorable?”

“I am.” Alex chuckles, nodding a little.

He loves the feeling of you playing with his hair again. Nothing brings him more joy that you being back in his arms again like this and the fact that you’re smiling makes him so happy. All Alex wants is for you to be happy.

“Gonna stop flirting with Jamie?” He asks hopefully.

“So you are jealous?” You grin like a maniac then.

Alex shakes his head, “I’m not jealous”

He’s so jealous.

You carry on smiling as you explain, “I’m just entertaining him because he offered me that.”

“Speaking of that.” Alex says, before lowering his voice as he continues, “When we did that in particular, it wasn't me being impolite, that was you getting the question in there first.”

Alex holds you a bit tighter and leans in to whisper into your ear, “My jaw will be aching and the only word you’ll remember is my name if I go down on you again, Angel”

Your stomach drops at that and Alex is satisfied when he hears your breath hitch before he pulls back to look at you. Your smile is long gone, your pretty lips are just agape as if you couldn’t believe he’d just said that.

He can see that you’re completely lost for words and his smirk only gets bigger when your lips move as if to try and say something but you can’t. Alex doesn’t even try to hide his amusement.

It gets funnier a second later when the director comes over to the both of you and interrupts. Alex has to introduce you whilst you get your bearings back and thankfully, after fully processing what had just been promised, you manage to function normally again and do the shot in less than 5 takes.

The rest of the night is filled with endless flirting and stolen kisses here and there between takes. The other lads and Breana don’t fail to notice the interactions. They are all silently happy for you both, because god knows, you and Alex deserve all the happiness in the world. Especially you.  

~*~*~*~ 1st June 2014 ~*~*~*~

“Bre, you’re so fun, I love it,” You laugh as you swim out further in the sea.

Today was an off day for the lads and thankfully you were near the coast, so naturally the lads found a private beach and hired it for the day.

You won’t lie, you’re really happy that it’s a private beach. After only just feeling comfortable having your legs out around the lads and Breana, you’re glad you don’t feel the need to hide yourself from anyone else today.

You messed about in the sea with the lads earlier whilst Bre was sunbathing and just now you’d come back out with her for a quiet swim. The lads are up on the sandy beach starting a bbq for your little group which you’ll admit you’re excited about.

“What do you mean?” She asks you.

“That you'll go swimming without your bikini top on,” You nod towards her.

You envy her confidence feeling comfortable in her own skin. You wish you could get those days back, remembering when you went on holiday with Matty and felt carefree enough to not wear your bikini top.

You’re in a light blue bikini today and you’re grateful that you feel comfortable enough to wear this. Breana though only wore her pink bikini bottoms, even when she was on the beach though she wasn’t wearing her top.

Breana smiles at you then, swimming a little closer to you as she suggests, “You can do it too,”

“Erm, no,” You shake your head, “It’s okay, I’ve known them since before I can remember. They aren’t seeing my tits.”

“They aren’t gonna see.” Breana assures you looking around, “It’s just us out here.”

“Still, though…” You trail off, unsure whether you feel comfortable enough or not.

“Come on,” She encourages, not quite understanding your hesitation, “Be free for a bit with me, they aren’t over here.”

Looking back at the lads, you see them all on their blue and green towels sitting firmly on the beach. You and Breana are a fair distance out of about 30 metres, so you decide to try and live a little like you used to.

After all, the water would morph your scar around your left boob if she saw it. So, when you nod at her, she makes you spin so she can untie your top for you.

Breana assures you that she’ll keep a hold of your top for you, so you can have a proper swim and enjoy yourself like she’d just been doing. You will admit that it is freeing being in beautiful water in stunning scenery with such a carefree person like her.

She’s so lovely and you’re so glad that Matt has found her. The only other person you think you could be this free with is Y/B/F and you really did need to call her again soon. The time difference between you now being in South America and her being in Europe meant that there was never a convenient time for you both, though.

After 10 minutes of a blissful swim, you and Breana get shouted back over, presumably because the food is almost ready. And you’re excited to go back until you see Bre yell thank you at the boys with both hands cupping her mouth.

You want to be sick as your eyes search for your bikini top that’s no longer secure in her hands. “Bre what have you done with it?”

“I threw it that way,” She nods toward the beach and your whole stomach drops.

You feel sick.

“Breana.”

“Oh, come on,” She smiles innocently before adding, “Alex will love it.”

You know she’s not done this maliciously, but that doesn’t stop the panic rising through your system. Alex is the last person who you want to see you bare like this.

“I don’t care what he’ll love.” You shake your head, wrapping your arms around yourself and hiding away a bit, making the water come to just under your chin.

She grins at you before she starts swimming back to shore, “I think we both know that’s a lie.”

Things between you and Alex had been going well. Nothing intense had happened and nothing more than flirting and a few fleeting kisses per day had been happening either.

You’re fine with nothing more than that happening. The kisses are serotonin inducing enough and after feeling like shit for so long, you are really happy with just a kiss here and there - and Alex is happy with that too, so you’re in a win-win situation.

“Bre,” You shout after her, not moving from your spot in the sea.

You feel frozen and you feel your chest start to tighten. It gets even worse when she shouts back, “I’ll go get Al for you.”

Tears start brimming in your eyes but she doesn’t see because she’s already swimming back. You shout after her, trying to keep your voice steady, “Bre, please don’t.”

She doesn’t hear you though, and there’s no way you’re chasing after her. Thankfully there’s a few large rocks you can hide yourself behind whilst you try and get some composure back but unfortunately it may be a while.

“Angel,” You hear Alex shout after you a matter of minutes later and you hold your breath.

You’re fully in the midst of a panic attack now and can’t stop yourself from crying. It pains you because you’d been doing so well lately, you hadn’t had the tight feeling in your chest for a long while.

“Hey,” You hear Alex say softly, and you’d guess he’s about a meter or so away from you. The waves continue to make you both bob up and down as he asks softly, “Why aren’t you facing me?”

You say through your tears but keep your voice as even as you can, “Because Bre undid my bikini top and I can’t find it.”

“What?” Alex questions, trying to get you to at least look at him, “So, you’ve not got a top on?”

You shake your head, confirming what he’s asked as your folded arms continue to hide yourself. You hate the feelings running though you right now, and it even takes a lot of internal strength to bring one hand up to wipe your constant tears away.

“Right, why are you hiding?” Alex asks curiously,

You sigh, even saying it out loud hurts, “Because my tits are out.”

You just wish you could be confident in yourself like you once were. You wish this could be going the way Breana innocently or not so innocently intended. But you can’t stop crying.

“That’s okay,” Alex says, trying to coax you out of your shell a little and make you feel a bit more at ease. He lightheartedly jokes, “Nothing I’ve not seen before, Angel.”

The way he softly says it makes you want to smile. Remembering the fun times you’d had with him where he’d marked them up. But in the midst of your breakdown, the thought hurts.

No one has seen you topless since before the accident. Matty was the last one to see your skin and that was before the accident.

“I don’t like being exposed.” You tell Alex honestly, trying to maintain your composure and conceal the fact you were mid panic attack. “Definitely don’t want any of them to see.”

“Come here then and I won’t let them see.”

It pains you to say it, but you tell him the truth, “I don’t want you to see.”

Because you don’t. You don’t want him to see how you’ve changed. You don’t want him to suddenly bin you off because he thinks you're ugly like Matty did.

Because why else would your boyfriend of 2 years cheat on you a matter of weeks after you’d almost died. Why would he go to Alexa and to Arielle if not a silent way of saying ‘fuck you, she’s better’.

“I won’t look.” Alex says softly, “I promise.”

You believe him when he says this, and you’re sure that at this point the only thing that’s going to help you calm down is him holding you.

“Close your eyes.” You tell him and Alex happily obliges, realising you're not as okay as you’re making out to be.

His back is towards the lads so if you hug him they definitely won’t see you and if Breana has kept quiet to everyone, they won’t see you without a top on either.

“Okay,” His eyes are squeezed tightly shut, “They are closed.”

A few seconds later, you’ve swam to him and wrapped your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist. Your chest presses against his and you feel Alex's arms go around your back.

Alex can feel your shaky breathing immediately and he only opens his eyes when you're hugging him close. He rubs your back a little, promising you, “See, you’re okay.”

“I don’t like it, Alex,” You cry into his neck, “I really don’t like it.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Alex tries to smooth you, “I’m not looking, I promise you.”

“I know you're not, but I hate it.” You practically blubber into his neck as the waves make both of your bodies rise and fall together.

���Angel,” Alex's heart bleeds for you, feeling you cry against him. He just wants to take your pain away.

All he can do is carry on reassuring you, “Please calm down for me, you’re okay. No one’s here but me and you. No one’s gonna see.”

You know he’s right and you go to say something, but it just comes out as a sob. It makes Alex’s throat tighten, “Angel. I’ve got you, you're okay.”

After another minute of crying, you manage to calm down enough to say, “I’ve got a scar, Al. I really don’t want you to see.”

“Angel,” Alex starts hugging you even tighter to him, “You are the most perfect person in the entire world with the scars on your body, too. You don’t need to hide them. Especially in front of me.”

“I think you’re gorgeous, I always have.” Alex says quietly, and he apologises, “You’ve always been so beautiful and I’m sorry that I don't say it often enough.”

You pick your head up from his neck and wipe your tears away. You pull back just enough so you can see your best friend's face, but your chests are still pressed together.

A tear runs down your cheek as you say in a broken voice, “You saw me before I look like I do now.”

Alex just wants to cry for you now. You’re stunning and he wishes that you would believe him.

“And if I saw you again now, I’d be just as spellbound as I was the first time.” Alex promises.

You shake your head, “You wouldn’t.”

“I guarantee, I would.” Alex says, bringing one hand up from out of the water to wipe your tears away. It doesn’t really work because of the water on his hand but it’s definitely the thought that counts.

“You’re beautiful Y/N, and you know I’ve always thought that since the first time I saw you with no clothes on.” Alex tells you sincerely, before he light heartedly jokes, “Thought it with your clothes on too, but thought it would be a bit creepy of me to tell you out of the blue.”

You laugh at his joke as your eyes water from his compliment, “Please don’t make me cry more.”

“I just want you to believe you’re stunning.”

You shake your head, “I’m not Breana, Alex.”

Because she is stunning. She's confident. She’s a girlfriend. She’s happy. She’s everything you want to be.

“I’m fully aware of that.” Alex nods before he tells you, “You're my beautiful, stunning, and absolutely gorgeous best friend Y/N Y/L/N.”

You shake your head and swallow the lump in your throat.

“It’s another one I hate.” You tell Alex about your scar as you close your eyes, willing the tears to stop. “Like I really hate it. When I get home I’m getting a tattoo over it, I think it’ll make me feel better about it.”

“That’s okay. But you don’t have to. You’re beautiful with or without the ink on you.”

What god made this man and why was he always so kind to you. What have you done to deserve someone so kind who thinks the world of you?

“It’s not.” You argue back in a whisper. “Just feel it.”

You grab his hand that was collecting your tears and bring it to the scar that runs underneath and up the side of your left breast. Alex's eyes never leave yours and he doesn’t attempt to look down once.

You feel Alex cup the side of your body and it’s only his thumb that caresses over your scar. You watch his eyes as you feel the pad of his thumb run across the scar that is the cause of an indent in your skin.

“You can feel that, right?” You ask, knowing that your scar there interrupted the smoothness of your skin.

Never again would you not wear a seatbelt correctly, like a fucking idiot. You shouldn’t have moved it under your arm when you turned to speak to Matty.

If you left it where it was, you wouldn’t have a three inch scar going up the side of your boob. The seatbelt practically sliced your skin apart because you weren’t wearing a bra that day either.

You were sure if you talked about it to your mum or your aunt they would just say the bright side of it was that the fact it followed up the curve of your boob. But you didn’t see it like that.

You knew yourself, and your boob wasn’t meant to feel like that. The jagged line that was there now shouldn’t be there.

It shouldn’t cause the break of smoothness in your skin. You hated it.

But Alex was stroking his thumb across the scar as if nothing was there and you seeing his eyes stay exactly the same caused you to question it.

“Surely you feel that, Alex.”

He just shakes his head and softly tells you as his look is completely genuine, “I just feel you.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: I thinkkkkkk I wanna marry Alexxxxx. How adorable can he get?!?!?!? (hint: he can get a lot more adorable...) x

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[nriacc]

Settle Down | NRIACC: Part 11 |

Nothing Revealed In A Common Crisis 

Plot by @imagine-that-100 and @ghostlightqueen

Written by @imagine-that-100​

Description: | Here |

Word Count: 35k

Warnings: This series contains mature content and themes throughout

A/N: This ones exciting so naturally I couldn’t keep you waiting for it all day. Really hope you all enjoy. Enjoy the happiness whilst it lasts, that’s all I’m gunna say... Thanks again for reading, let us know what you think x

| Series Masterlist | N’s Masterlist | NRIACC Playlists | The Band’s Info | Read on Wattpad | Read on AO3 |

~*~*~*~ 1 April 2011 ~*~*~*~

“Alex,” You shout, “Fucking hurry up or we are never going to start this movie night.”

You’re in his flat as Alex had insisted that you both spend some time together before he was heading back out to tour Suck It And See which was being released in two months. You probably wouldn’t see him in person again until they toured the UK in October, which was gutting.

Their warm up shows started next month and then they had a bunch of press to do before they were on their first North America tour and then they were heading everywhere for festivals. They were so busy that they couldn’t come home and see you on your birthday which was a blow to your heart but you’d rather their tour went well.

You just missed not having your best friends around for your birthday. You guessed Y/B/F and your Manchester bunch would have to do this year.

That didn’t mean you didn’t miss having the lads around though. You really missed having Alex around.

You loved spending time with your best friend and you liked hanging out with him like you had been doing the past few months. It was really difficult getting months of him being by your side and then the rest of the year a fleeting phone call once a week.

Texts were alright, you suppose, but it wasn’t the same. Since his birthday you’d practically been joined by the hip.

You even spent Christmas with him this year because he didn’t want to be on his own so you, Y/B/F, Alex, and Matt all snuck away from your families and convened in Matt’s house and had Christmas Eve and Christmas morning together. You all exchanged gifts and had a morning filled with laughs before you all headed to your families.

It has been so lovely and when you came back from Manchester the day after New Year's, you’d barely spent time apart. Whilst they were back and not touring, you all spent loads of time with each other.

You were out on weekends and drank till daylight like you used to when you were teenagers. On weeknights one of you would message the group chat asking if anyone was up for anything spontaneous like a spur of the moment drive somewhere, or you just want to chill having your friends around you.

There was the odd night when this happened that you and Alex were just meant to be having a night in and getting a take out but pretty much every time you ended up with the others. Y/B/F would spontaneously show up with her own food and after a text to Matt and the rest of them would end up showing up at your flat.

And that was fine. But you wanted your best friend to yourself for a bit.

So that was what tonight was. You finished work early, sending off final designs to a new company, and you texted Alex asking if he was busy.

Of course you knew he wasn’t so you both ended up heading out to get a very late lunch and whilst you were out you both agreed a movie night was in store and you’d get a take out when you eventually became hungry later.

It was a secret event though and you both promised to stay off your phones so no one could accidentally invite themselves. Alex’s flat was further out to get to and you knew Y/B/F wouldn’t just show up here unannounced so you were safe.

It was currently 6 p.m. and you were snuggled up on Alex’s comfy corner settee, the huge blanket lay over you after you’d put Coraline in the DVD player and Alex was putting the salted popcorn you’d bought earlier in a bowl. But apparently that took fucking years to do.

“You’re so fucking impatient, it’s a joke,” Alex says shaking his head at you from over the kitchen island.

You turn to look at him and shake your head. “You’ve been gone for like ten minutes. It's really not that difficult to put the popcorn in a bowl. In fact, I don't really need the bowl, just give me the bag.”

“Oh yeah, so you can be dead loud with it as we watch the film, no fucking way,” Alex says dismissively whilst giving you fake dirty look.

You stick your middle finger up at him whilst narrowing your eyes threateningly, and you’d think that your best friend was a child because the next thing he did had you doubting he was 25. Alex Turner of Arctic Monkeys started throwing pieces of popcorn at your head.

Surprisingly, he’s a really shit shot. Well you say surprisingly but you’d seen Matt’s video diary of Alex with his Humbug hair trying to blindly throw a dart at the dart board whilst his gaze was averted and missing terribly.

You don’t know how Matt got away with not getting a dart in his leg when it bounced off that blue forklift.

After about five shots, you’re just staring at your best friend with annoyance clear on your features. You definitely weren’t picking it all up off the floor.

After another few shots though one of the pieces lands on top of your head and Alex’s arms raise in the air and he cheers. You giggle at his exaggerated reaction before running your hand over your hair to try and find the piece of food.

Alex makes his way back around to sit beside you as you throw the popcorn up into the air and catch it in your mouth. It wasn’t a very ladylike talent, but it was a talent nonetheless.

Alex grins at you doing that and as he plonks himself back down beside you, he takes another piece from the bowl and throws it into the air to try and copy your movements. The shaggy haired brunette fails miserably and it almost hits him in the eye and you watch as it entertainingly rolls down his cheek and onto his lap.

“You’re both useless,” You shake your head as you grab another handful of the salty treat and put a piece in your mouth.

“Both?”

“You and Matty,” You shake your head before reaching forward and grabbing the remote. “It’s not that difficult to throw food into your own mouth.”

Alex tries his best not to laugh when he jokes, “Might not be for you because you’ve got a big gob.”

“Cheeky fucker,” You scoff, punching him in his arm.

Alex chuckles before handing you the popcorn so he can get some of the fluffy blanket you were hiding yourself under. You sit shoulder to shoulder, as you usually do on the various occasions you were found together.

You think you both liked to be as close to each other as you could whilst he was still around. Maybe it was a way that made up for the lost time that you both had whilst he was away, but whether it was that or something else, you didn’t care.

You were just glad Alex was in your presence.

“I can’t believe you’re making me watch this,” Alex complains when he sees Coraline's titles come up on the screen.

You scoff, “Oh shut up, you can choose whatever you like next.”

And your best friend really took that to the extreme because you went from watching a fairly pleasant film to Quentin Tarentino’s Inglourious Basterds. The switch was enough to give you whiplash.

After he made you watch, it was just after 9 p.m. and you were both getting hungry again so you decided to order a Dominos. To be honest, after that film you needed something to cheer up.

Food was always a good way to do that.

You decided to have a little break with the films as you waited for the food. But the break was just filled with chatting shit and messing about.

The conversations went from Alex complaining how he would soon have to spend his life in a tour bus again to which you didn’t envy him at all. The bunks in them really weren’t that spacious, but that may have been because the last time you were in one you were either sharing it with him or almost crying on your own.

Thankfully you didn’t have to reminisce about that for long as the conversation moved towards his music videos. Obviously you’d already seen the Brick By Brick music video as it came out last month and he’d shown you the Don’t Sit Down ‘Cause I’ve Moved Your Chair one that was going to be released in a fortnight.

He’d also told you, a few months ago now, about how they were planning to do a biker gang sort of thing and have it filmed in America whilst they were touring. So you wanted to pry into the developments of that, too.

When you asked him how the plans for it were going, your best friend's eyes went wide as if he’d suddenly realised something. You question him when as he gets up and scurries off to one of his glass cupboards in the kitchen where he keeps the band's awards.

“Okay, you know about the biker gang thing, right?” Alex asks you and you nod, now fully turned around to look around at him.

You watch as Alex opens the cupboard slightly and takes something out and hides whatever it is from you. But he carries on telling you information as he loops back around.

“Well we came up with a name for the gang,” Alex grins as he walks towards you.

You raise your eyebrows questioningly, a smile still on your face from seeing him happy. Alex reveals, “Death Ramps.”

“Awh,” You coo as Alex comes to the back of the settee and folds his arms before resting down against it so he isn't too far from you. “I love that.”

And that wasn’t a lie, either. You loved that they still thought of home after being in the limelight for so long. The fact that they were naming their gang after what you all called the hills back over here made you happy.  

“I know, we wanted it to be a bit of home,” Alex grins before holding a black ring box out towards you. “And so I wanted to give you this.”

You look down at the box a little puzzled, but you make light of it as he puts it down in your hand. You don’t open it, but you do say “I think you’re meant to take me on a few dates before you propose, Shakespeare.”

“Hilarious,” Alex rolls his eyes sarcastically. “Go on.” He instructs you to open it.  

You take a look back at the box though and say, “I feel like if you’re giving me a ring, I need more story, Al.”

He rolls his eyes before jumping over the back of the settee saying, “Just open it.”

And when you do, you’re greeted with a rather chunky silver ring that has Death Ramps on it. It’s a really pretty ring, one that you didn’t care that it was slightly manly because of the capital letters imprinted into the shield of metal.

You love it wholeheartedly.

“Awh,” You coo, looking at the silver ring that brought back so many memories about your childhood.

“Okay so in the gang we all wear them… on our little fingers,” Alex flashes you his and you can’t help but grin at him.

“And we all have one,” Alex continues, “Even Miles has one of his own and I said ‘better make another because my best friend needs one of her own.’”

He takes the box off you for a second before resting it between you. Your best friend then turns the ring upside down so you can see the inside of the silver and he points to the inside of the metal before handing it back to you.

Alex finishes telling you, “I said ‘I need one for my Angel.’”

You quickly inspect the ring and see that inside it says,

Angel x

“Awh Alex,” You say, trapping it in your hand as you hug your best friend. “Thank you so much.”

The warm feeling you currently had in your chest was something that made you so incredibly happy. And you also loved the warm hug that Alex gave you back, he held you tight in his arms and he kept you in for a long hug.

“You’re welcome,” Alex whispers in your ear. “Couldn’t not get one for my biggest fan.”

You giggle then before kissing his cheek and letting him go.

“Thank you so much it’s beautiful,” You say looking down at the silver in your hand before you slip it onto your little finger. You grin, “And it fits.”

Alex chuckles a little at how astounded you look. But he still feels the need to check if, “You like it?”

“Love it,” You correct him, before kissing his cheek once more, “Thank you. I’m not gunna take it off.”

“I’m glad,” Alex says before taking your hand to inspect it.

Before long the pizza arrives downstairs and Alex goes down to get it, and in that time you go on your phone and you see that you have texts from a few different people. You bypass the ones from Matt and Y/B/F, making sure you don't open them.

You saw that you had a text from George though, which was slightly unusual so you opened it straight away. You’re so thankful that you did though because when you open it you’re thrown four years into the past.

He must have been digging through a memory box or sorting old memory cards out from his camera because there were a bunch of old photos and videos in your inbox.

There were loads of photos of you and Adam together from over the years and you don’t know why but there were loads of you and Matty. Of course there were group ones of you all and you had a far few with the other boys.

But you couldn’t stop looking at the ones of you and Matty.

There were some of you skateboarding with him, even going back to him teaching you how to do new tricks that you’d mastered long ago. You could tell from the pictures how long ago it was because there were different coloured wheels on pictures.

But there were more mundane ones, too. Ones that you and Matty would have never known were being taken like the both of you sat on the settee together laughing at something you couldn’t remember.

There were pictures of the two of you in the funhouse and when you came across one of you in the barrel where you had your shirt around your shoulders pretending to be Sandy from Grease. You giggle seeing Matty in the background of the picture giggling away at you.

Scrolling through more pictures you saw how many memories you and Matty had together that summer you were together. There were more couple ones that you’d posed for which you also loved.

There was one of you ice skating holding his hand and another with his arms around your waist, holding you for balance. Another one of you dressed in go karting gear holding your helmets and one of Matty’s arms around your waist.

There were a few photos of you looking like a proper couple, too. Ones like you cuddled into each other on movie nights, ones of him kissing you, ones of you asleep on him.

But the one you loved most was the one of you both standing together during a surprise birthday party they threw for you a month after your birthday. And Matty’s arms were around your waist, you were leaning back into him, both of you giggling away and his chin was resting on your shoulder.

You both looked so happy and it melted your heart.

The event came about because Adam, your Aunt, and your Uncle had gone on holiday when your actual birthday was. That year you’d only seen Matty on your birthday because he’d come over to surprise you.

So the Hann’s decided to make up for their absence by throwing you a surprise party filled with all your Manchester mates. It had been such a good night and you loved everything about it.

You thanked George for sending you all of them because you genuinely adored them, you couldn’t wait to get them printed off when you went back home. You guessed being a graphic designer had its perks, you didn’t have to go to a shop to get your things printed as you had everything you needed in your flat.

Especially when you received a load more of you and Matty a few minutes later. There were a few others from your surprise party of the two of you tucked away in the corner of your Aunt’s lounge and you were looking at each other as if you were the only two in the room.

There was a group one from the party, too, where you and Matty were obviously once again close to each other. His arm was around your shoulders dangling in front of you and you actually remember your Aunt taking the picture.

Matty had just whispered something really sweet in your ear, the phrase you unfortunately couldn’t remember all these years later, but you can see that you must have adored whatever it was. You and Matty are just looking at each other with soft smiles on your faces, once again like you were the only two that mattered.

You loved seeing the both of you in each and every memory.

But as you were flicking through them all again you get a text from the man you couldn’t stop looking at in the pictures. The name Curly pops up on your screen and you instantly smile seeing his name.

You don’t hesitate to tap on his text message.

Wheels, has George been sending you pictures? x

You’re grinning like an idiot whilst you type out your reply.

He has, I love them xx

About 20 seconds later another two ended up coming through

Same here Sweetheart x Did you see this one???? xx

You see that he’d sent you the one of you both giggling where you leaned back into him at your surprise party. You couldn’t get over how cute the pair of you were.

Your fingers were slotted between Matty’s and you could practically hear his laugh in your ear from looking at the picture alone. You looked at his messy hair and just wanted to run your fingers through it again.

You really missed your Curly. You couldn’t wait to see him again in a few days for his birthday.

You text him back quickly:

I did x I love it so much xx

You weren’t expecting another text tonight, and you certainly didn’t expect it to make you hide into the settee and squeal. The two texts that just came though had you doing just that.

Know what? We look so fucking cute together in that picture xxx

And in general too 😊 xxx

You’re hiding from your phone as if he’s in front of you and he’s once again being adorable to your face. Excitement ran through your veins looking at those messages and as you studied them to make sure they were real and you hadn’t imagined them you played with the ends of your hair.

You smile, not missing the three kisses at the end of each text. You know how he thinks and you hope it still means the same thing to him that it meant all those years ago.

We do xxx

At that point though you hear the front door shut loudly and you jolt back to the present.

“Al, come look at this,” You say hearing your best friend come back in as you find the picture of you in the revolving barrel to show him.

“I thought we weren't using phones so our friends couldn’t bother us?” Alex skeptically asks after seeing you on your phone.  

As he walks around the settee with the pizza boxes in his hands, you tell him, “I’m not replying to our friend, I’m replying to my friend.”

After sitting down, Alex looks down at your phone and sees the contact name of Curly, as he sees you tap off the contact and onto George’s to show him a picture you’d obviously been sent.

You pull it up quickly and show your best friend.

“Don’t I look cool having my Grease moment?” You grin looking at the picture again.

You’re The One That I Want was already stuck in your head.

“Very cool,” Alex chuckles, as he looks at the picture again and spots Matty in the background.

He also pretends he didn’t read the text from the man himself that came up at the top of your screen as you showed him the picture. But he saw that the text read: Me & you together = emo power couple 😘😘😘 xxx

“When was that?” Alex asks you curiously as he can see that you don’t have the words he wrote to you tattooed on your collarbone in the picture.

You think about it for a second before letting out a breath trying to figure it out, “God, years ago now… Summer 2007 I think? Yeah, it was because it was the year Favourite Worst Nightmare came out.”

“That long ago?” Alex asks with raised eyebrows, and when you nod, he says, “Mental.”

“Yeah, doesn’t feel that long ago but it also feels like a lifetime,” You say, “God yeah, thinking about it my emo phase feels like such a long time ago.”

Your hair was black in the picture and you would have still had your tongue piercing. You’d taken the tongue piercing out two years ago now and if you were honest you didn’t really miss it.

Your hair was back to its natural colour rather than the black and you only wore your other piercings now. Your ears were still littered with them and since that summer you’d also got a septum piercing but now you rarely wore it after doing so for so long.

Before Alex can say anything in regards to your emo phase you get a whiff of that beautiful pizza and the doughballs you wanted. “Right, let's eat,” You say and Alex hands you your things over.

And so you did, you and Alex each had your favourite pizza each and you had the side of twisted dough balls whilst Alex had wedges. Your amazing best friend had bought you both cookies too so you had two delicious cookies too.

In that time you were eating, you both decided on the next film that you were going to watch. After the last one you wanted a happy one so you went for Grease because you were in the mood.

You watched the film religiously as a child and after having the reminder of that moment in the funhouse years ago, you couldn’t help but want to reminisce.

The film was on and you were singing along to all the songs whilst you and Alex had started drinking, because what better thing was there to be doing on a Friday night with your best friend? You were drinking some of the white wine he had in the fridge whilst Alex was on the beer and by the end of the film you were very tipsy.

It seemed like just the first drop of alcohol got you tipsy though because you were giggling at everything marginally flirty in the film and squealing and hiding into Alex when you thought that Danny on screen was thrusting into the end whilst dancing with the rest of the T Birds on the bleachers near the beginning.

“Alex he’s so fucking fit, I can’t cope,” You whine into your best friend's chest as you were cuddled into him now watching the film.

Alex laughs at you then, your words very clearly falling from your lips because you’d almost finished half a bottle of wine since you’d started eating. You were cuddled into him now, the blanket over you both comfortably, as you watched the film and Alex was currently absentmindedly playing with the ends of your hair and twirling strands of it around his fingers.

Your outburst at watching Danny Zuko sing Summer Nights was quite entertaining for Alex. He hasn’t seen you get all hot and bothered about someone in a film before so this was quite interesting to watch.

Especially now alcohol has been added to the equation as well. Who knew that someone could get so worked up over a leather jacket and some hair gel.

The film continued on to the drive-in scene after the dance and you internally cringed at Danny’s attempts to touch Sandy. Yeah you liked this film but you did think some of Danny’s decisions were questionable.

Especially when he put his arm around Sandy and made a move to grab her boob. You don’t blame the girl at all for throwing his ring back in his face and slamming the door shut into his crotch.

You couldn’t help but laugh when Alex hissed at the door hitting Danny in the crotch and you asked him in a chuckle if he was okay. Once he told you he was fine and the second hand pain wore off, Alex made your humour spike with his next sentence.

“Do me a favour and please don’t throw your ring back at me like that,” Alex mumbles into your hair and you can’t help but laugh.

“Don't try and grab my tit in the weirdest way possible and we’ll be okay,” You giggle, your eyes not leaving the screen though.

You genuinely didn’t plan on ever taking the silver ring off your little finger. Once you fell in love with a piece of jewelry it didn’t come off. The rings that were on your fingers already today had been on for a good three years.

“Yeah, over the shoulders not the best way to go about that,” Alex laughs as he was just thinking it was a strange move.

“Literally. Like if you’re doing that, you just gotta commit to it,” You laugh thinking the whole scene was pretty stupid, but it was still mental to you that you never picked up on weird scenes like that as a kid.

You have another outburst at John Travolta during the Grease Lightning scene and Alex can’t not comment on it. It was getting worse with how much alcohol you drank and now with nearly the whole bottle gone, Alex couldn’t help but be amused at your reaction.

“Jesus, I've never seen you like this at a film. Why have you got the hots for John Travolta?” Alex laughs.

“No no, it’s just Danny,” You correct, feeling the need to explain, “It’s the tight tops, the skinny jeans, the hair.”

“My fucking god the hair, it’s so attractive I can’t handle it,” You trail off biting your lip, looking back to the screen.

Alex looks at you and sees you biting your lip and he can tell just how attractive you find the '50s look. He can’t help but say “Jesus, you were born in the wrong time.”

“I really was. If everyone in the fifties looked like that with their hair slicked back, I think I would have fallen in love every time one of them looked at me,” You say looking from Danny to Kenickie.

Alex just laughs at you and he continues to do so for the rest of the film. Especially when you basically drool at the end but you still sing along to the last two songs. Even more so when you drunkenly say, “Alex that’s me,” when Sandy’s in the funhouse.

You were so fucking cute the entire evening and Alex was really glad you suggested having the night just to yourselves. He was certain he had fallen for you even more that night and the morning after when you both woke up to find yourselves still curled up with each other on the settee.

You must have fallen asleep watching the other films as you both carried on drinking and watching the other films you found on Alex’s shelf. Waking up with you next to him again was lovely and Alex just couldn’t take his eyes off of you as you continued to sleep for an extra ten minutes.

You looked so at peace with the world and so beautiful, you made his heart beat faster just thinking about you. Eventually, Alex watched you stir awake and his heart warmed impossibly more when you looked at him, smiled and then cuddled yourself into him some more.

Everything Alex wanted was right in front of him and in his arms. He just didn’t have the courage to tell you just yet.

Hopefully within a month or two he still had with you could boost his confidence to do just that though.

~*~*~*~ 7 May 2011 ~*~*~*~

Confidence was something that spiked in Alex when he’d done a show. So when the band flew back home from Norway the day after the second warm up show, Alex decided tonight was the night.

Alex was going to tell you how he felt.

He thought about you non-stop and if someone mentioned you he’d be caught smiling like a kid who’s just got his first kiss. You just made him so unbelievably happy and he wanted you by his side through everything.

He wanted to come home to you after his gigs, he wanted to kiss you goodnight every night and he wanted to fall asleep with you in his arms.

Alex wanted to take you out for dinner and treat you to everything you deserved. He wanted to call you his Angel everyday and not get looks from others around him wondering why he called you that.

Alex wanted to call you his girlfriend. He wanted to show you off as his girl.

So Alex’s plan was to flirt with you a little tonight, using his confidence from the gigs from the last two days he’d stored up, before asking you out properly at the end of the night. Usually the others filtered out of your flat a lot earlier than Alex because the two of you could talk until daylight.

So he would ask you when you were once again on your own.

The flirting had been going well, Alex thought. You weren’t shying away from him at all and when he was showing you how to make a tequila sunrise you didn’t shy away from him touching you.

When he picked up your hand whilst you were sitting next to him and he started playing with the ring on your little finger, you let him do it. When he rested his hands on your fishnet covered legs you put them over him and let him continue.

At one point Alex was sure he caught you staring at his lips which when you made eye contact with him again you shied away from him. It was all like it was years ago, except this time Alex’s heart was beating out of his chest at every gesture or every look you gave him.

He's so infatuated with you that he doesn’t really notice anything other than you. So he didn’t really pay much attention when you were on your phone, or he didn’t until it was pointed out to him.

“Your phone keeps on going off,” Jamie informs you and Alex takes note that a notification did actually just go off.

“It’s not going off anymore than yours does,” You dismiss the subject, locking the device and putting it into your pocket.

Alex once again just focuses on you chatting away to your friends. He gets up with you when you ask him to make sure you’re making your cocktail correctly, as he was pretty good at it after so much free time before shows.

But when the phone thing is brought to his attention again about an hour later, Alex takes more notice of it. He’d noticed your smile getting bigger each time the device was in your hand and after half an hour, Alex was really glad he wasn’t the only one noticing.

“Why do you keep on smiling at your phone?” Y/B/F enquires with raised eyebrows.

She looks smugly at you like she's caught you out which leads you to not tell her. Half because you didn’t want to make a big deal out of it like you knew she would, and half because you didn't actually want to admit who you were texting to all of your friends.

You slip your phone into your hoodie pocket as you say, “I’m not.”

Unfortunately Alex couldn’t see what you were doing on your phone because you were sitting facing him, as your legs were resting on top of his. Despite being on the loveseat and being closer together, Alex truly just couldn’t see.

“You do,” Nick confirms.

“I’m not.”

Y/B/F shakes her head and giggles, “You’re such a bad liar.”

“I’m the best liar you know. You just don’t know it,” You say getting up to grab yourself and Y/B/F another bottle of wine.

Yes you were mixing your drinks, which probably wasn't the best idea but who cares. You were with some of your closest mates, you didn’t care if they saw you drunk.

You knew full well you were a good liar, you’d kept many people in the dark because you were good at lying. And every time you played poker you were pretty good and most of the time you won.

Y/B/F just rolls her eyes and you hear her say, “Whatever,” as you walk into the kitchen to grab another bottle.

~*~*~*~

“Wait,” Matt stops you before you can continue. He asks, “How many people have you been with?”

“Five,” You say without thinking as you take the last mouthful of your wine.

You then reach forward and grab the bottle from the cooler and pour the last of it into your glass. It’s later in the night now and you’re a little tipsy.

Matt had just been mouthing off about how he needed to sleep about now he’s split with his girlfriend. Both you and Y/B/F rolled your eyes and told him to get a grip and that was how the conversation had steered to how many people you’d been with.

“Wait five?” Y/B/F questions, and when you look round at her, you can see that she’s completely confused.

Shit.

You realise your mistake and you immediately want to die. You carry on pouring your alcohol like nothing’s wrong despite your blood running cold.

“Who's the fifth?” She asks with a frown, “I only know about Peter, Matty, Kyle and Elliot.”

“Oh yeah,” You grin, knowing she’ll believe you more when you tell her if she thinks it’s exciting.

“I may or may not have had a one night stand,” You grin sipping on your tequila sunrise that you’d forgotten you asked Alex to make you.

You really shouldn't have started mixing drinks. You didn’t need the virginity secret to come to light when you were plastered with all of your friends around you.

You feel like you need the tequila sunrise's strength right now, though. Wine and tequila probably wasn’t the best mix but you wanted to get shitfaced tonight so why not in the safety of your own home.

Y/B/F’s jaw drops but you can also see the grin on her face that matches your fake one. She asks you in an excited voice, “When?”

“Last year,” You grin as if it's something scandalous, “Before Elliot.”

You guess the lie sort of was scandalous to others about you though. You were always the relationship person.

Peter was almost four years, Matty was, well you’d been on and off with Matty for different spells of time but he may as well be classed as a relationship of sorts, Kyle was over a year and despite Elliot only being a few months, he was an official boyfriend.

The only odd one out was Alex.

“And you didn’t tell me?” Your best friend looks at you with a little hurt in her eyes.

You immediately feel bad but you try to say, “You were on holiday and I must have forgot.”

“Well you remember now,” She all but squeals, thankful getting excited “Was he good? What was his name?”

Shit. Shit. Shit.

You could feel all their eyes on you and the thought of Alex watching you try and correct this mistake of yours made you want to hide in your room forever. How fucking embarassing that you were being asked about him when no one knew it was him.

“Yeah he was good,” You nod, “But I don’t want to talk about it any more than that, thank you.”

Y/B/F understands why you say that as you gesture to the lads around you. She would get more information out of you alone but she at least wanted some basic ones.

But apparently she wasn’t the only one.

Alex pipes up from his new seat and asks you, the ghost of an amused smile tugging at the corner of his lips, “Can we at least get his name?”

You want to scold him for encouraging the gossiping, especially because you’d promised each other long ago that things would stay secret between you. And in your mind that hadn’t changed at all.

“No,” You shake your head, and swallow another mouthful of tequila sunrise.

You clock him trying to suppress a smile. You wanted to laugh but you also wanted to call him a dickhead.

“Why, do we know him?” Y/B/F asks out of the blue and it almost takes you off guard.

Almost.

“No, you don’t know him,” You shake your head, but no more than if you were turning down a snack you were being offered. “Met him at the bar before I left last year.”

Dramaticising this would only lead to you being proven you were lying. And you definitely weren't going to let that happen.

“So, it was embarrassing then?” Matt smirks at you, obviously wanting a little more dirt on the subject.

“No actually, it wasn’t embarrassing,” You say just as nonchalantly, a little smile on your face to show you weren’t joking.

“So you must regret it then?” Y/B/F tries again, but she just looks confused now.

You shake your head and clearly state, “I don’t regret it.”

“Then what was his name?” She pries once more and you knew you weren’t going to get away with not saying anything.

But the only name you had in your head was the guy who it was.

Alex.

Alex Turner.

Alexander David Turner.

Oh

“David,” You say in a calm voice looking Y/B/F in the eye.  

Alex has to take a sip of his drink to keep the smile off his face, knowing exactly where you plucked that name from. It seemed like they all let it go after you said that David had brown hair and Y/B/F took the piss out of you saying that you had a type.

To end the subject you end up telling Y/B/F, “Right, I’ll tell you tomorrow. I’m not telling you surrounded by this lot.”

“Aw,” Matt whines and you shake your head.

“Matt, stop complaining or I’ll go and get you an erotic novel to read and we will say that’s what happened,” You say bringing back fun old memories of him reading them constantly when you were all younger.

“No,” Nick pleads, having a little PTSD from when Matt used to bring the books into the studio.

You all just laugh at Nick looking scared and then thankfully the subject gets dropped. Or you thought it did, until your other more teasing best friend decides to corner you into chatting about it.

Alex doesn’t let the subject drop though. The whole situation was quite funny to his drunken mind.

“So how was David for you?” Alex asks in an amused tone after he watches Y/B/F and Matt leave the kitchen.

You were currently standing at your breakfast bar (more like an alcohol bar tonight) finishing making yourself another tequila sunrise. Alex was quietly observing you from just beside you and he couldn’t stop the words from leaving his mouth.

He would blame the alcohol, but in truth he wanted to bring it up. He wanted to tease you.

Alex wants you in more ways than the obvious one. He wants a relationship with you and he hopes that making you relive past moments together would maybe make telling you the truth about his feelings later on when the other lads and Y/B/F left would make it easier.

You pretend like you don’t hear him ask you anything as you move closer to him to reach for a straw, just past his arm. But your best friend wouldn’t budge for you to get it.

You hate that he knows you lied to your other friends about him earlier, as he obviously would know he was the fifth. You just hate yourself more for not being able to come up with a better name.

“Move Alex,” You tell him but he just put an arm either side of you then and refused to let you escape from the counter.  

Alex smirks and teasingly asks, “I’m asking you a question.”

Being trapped against Alex and a kitchen counter brings a lot of memories flooding back to your system. Your chests practically pressed together and his arms boxing you in makes your heart race just like it had done every other time he’d done it.

Maybe it was the alcohol in your system, or maybe it was that you’d both been pretty close the last few months. But something about right now in this moment with him, you feel like you’re years younger doing this again.

And you don’t want to break free from his little trap. You feel great. Like you’re exactly where you’re meant to be, close to him again with him teasing you.

“You know how I feel about David,” You say quietly, not looking up at him.  

You could handle his flirting, but flirting back was something you had to be in the right headspace for. It used to fall off your tongue whatever your state of mind, but after so long it would take some time to come back.

Looking at you, Alex could tell that you were a bit flustered. He knew your tells, not looking at him was a big one, and the way your breathing was slightly shaky.

He only noticed because he’d seen you like this time and time again years ago. God, he wished he could go back to then, he would do so many things differently.

“Well you’re getting pretty flustered so I can only guess, but I’d rather hear you say it,” Alex smirks and you can’t help but look at him then.

“Come on, Angel,” Alex leans down and whispers in your ear and he hears you inhale when one of his hands finds your hips.

You feel Alex’s nose trail down your neck before he nuzzles into that spot you like on your neck. You close your eyes then and just bask in that feeling on your neck.

It wasn’t hard for anyone to find that weak spot. Alex had found it more times than you could remember, he always buried his head in your neck to find it when he stayed at your house before the tour, and on tour.

“You know I liked it,” You say, feeling a little out of breath.

Jesus, you shouldn’t let yourself get drunk. It just leads to you reminiscing about what once was.

You shouldn’t like the lone kiss that Alex places there, but you do. And you shouldn't like feeling held by him, but you do.

But then he had to go and ruin it.

“Which time did you like better?” Alex asks, his voice lower and barely a whisper. “Mine was definitely the time in the bunk, bit cramped but I enjoyed being so close to you, Angel.”

Chills ran up your spine then and they weren’t the good kind. It’s like your blood runs cold with the memory.

“That didn’t happen,” You say, putting your hand on Alex’s chest and moving him away from your skin.

His brown eyes meet your Y/E/C ones then and he notices that your face seems to have fallen. He stumbles on his words for a few seconds, lost in your scent that he once used to get all the time and he also didn't really know what to say.

“It’s been so long… We still can’t talk about it?” Alex asks genuinely because he understood you being angry at the time.

He was a dick and didn’t tell you he had a girlfriend. He shouldn’t have done that. Especially not to you.

But it had been years.

Alex didn’t want you to carry on pretending like it didn’t happen. You tell each other everything, but your past with him was something you never brought up, meaning that he felt he couldn’t either despite him wanting to.

It didn’t seem like that was going to change on that front, though.

“Not about that time,” You shake your head.

You see him searching your eyes then but your drunken mind convinces you he’s looking at you, judging you for not wanting to talk about it. And that really fucking annoys you.

But in reality, he’s looking at you like that trying to think of a way to apologise once again after so many years of silence on the subject. However, you don’t see that at all and you just speak without a filter.

“Listen, we haven’t even spoken about that in four years,” You say, getting a little annoyed. “Let it go... Considering you were so quick to forget about our first time, too,” as you break free from the little cage he’d created for you.

You turn yourself around and grab the straw you were after before getting your cocktail and moving to the other side of the kitchen to get yourself a snack.

Alex frowns at you then, hearing your dismissive tone. He asks a little in disbelief, “You really think I forgot?”

“Seemed to at the time,” You mutter looking him straight in the eye as you close the kitchen door so the others in the lounge couldn’t hear.

You just knew this conversation wasn’t done.

“You know I didn’t,” He says seriously but then adds in an amused tone, “You’ve heard the songs about it.”

“Maybe do actually forget about it then,” You tell him, with no hint of joking, “Considering you’re trying to tell people through your music and you promised to keep it a secret.”

“I think you like having songs about you. I think it really gets you going,” Alex tells you, studying your reaction to his claims.

It wasn’t a new thought of Alex’s. He’d thought about it for years.

That thought had been in Alex’s head ever since you came on tour and he used to come off stage and kiss you when they finished on 505. Your kiss was always more intense than it was other times and the way you’d look at him when he sang Only Ones Who Know made him think the same thing too.

“Yeah,” You agree sarcastically, then add, “It gets my anxiety going just great.”

“Like anyone remembers your old house number but you Y/N/N,” Alex says, “The numbers had fallen off your door years before that was released.”

You sigh, letting your eyes fall shut for a moment, “I don’t need two men writing songs about where I’ve lived, thank you.”

Alex questions confused, “Two?”

“Matty wrote one ages ago called 102.”

“So you definitely like having songs written about you then,” Alex chuckles, but he sees your face fall.

“Angel, I'm joking, you know I am…” He trails off as he walks towards you.

He’s thankful when he sees your face soften as he tucks the loose strand of your hair behind your ear. He tries to light heartedly add, “It’s not like you live there anymore,”

“Still,” You say, still a tiny bit defensive. “Do you know what it's like having all of your fans having the number that's in half of my passwords as their twitter names?”

“Really? You went for your house number on your passwords?” Alex chuckles and he feels better when he sees you smile at his question.  

“Yes Alex, that's a normal thing to do,” You nod, not being able to hold your smile back. “You do remember you called a song Seven and that was your door number too?”

You’re just back to grinning at each other when Alex nods, “Alright, fair enough.”

“Are we okay?” Alex asks as he pulls you into a hug that you don’t hesitate to hug him back.

“Yeah, I just don't like thinking about that…” You can’t bring yourself to add ‘time’ onto the end of that sentence, “It just doesn't exist in my life.”

“I'm sorry,” Alex says genuinely when he moves out of the hug so he could see your beautiful face once again.

He didn’t think that it would have caused that sort of reaction in you after all this time.

He feels awful, “I shouldn't have brought it up.”

“You're okay,” You tried to convince him, but Alex knows when you’re lying.

Alex shakes his head though before trapping you in another hug, “You’re my best friend, I don't want to upset you.”

“‘M not upset, don't worry. Just stop writing songs about our secrets,” You chuckle lightheartedly.

“You must have hated Secret Door then,” Alex chuckles trying to lighten the mood.

Your eyes go a little wide, “That's about Alexa.”

“The first verse and bridge is about you,” Alex tells you and you shake your head, your jaw slightly agape.

He’d written that whilst you were on tour with him. When you were both taking the piss out of all the house parties you’d all been forced to go to after one of their gigs.

It was about two weeks before Alexa showed up and you were still quite the couple at the time. So much so that you were holding hands and whispering into his ear that your Sheffield lot stuck out like a sore thumb compared to the pretentious people you were surrounded by.

It was a Wednesday night like the lyrics told everyone and Alex could clearly remember you telling him that he, as the front man, had to attend the party and the two of you couldn’t just hide in the bus or he’d get a bad reputation. But that didn’t stop the both of you from finding a room that no one occupied, and getting off with each other for a significant portion of the night.

He could remember you giggling in that room like it was yesterday.

Upon seeing you reject the news of that song being about you, Alex rhetorically asks, “Can a song not be about two people?”

“You released it when you’d been with her for two years Alex,” You say quietly, almost as if this new information could find you and get you hurt somehow.

“You’re aware some of the songs I’ve released are partly written years before, right?” Your best friend feels the need to confirm.

You don't really give him an answer, you just look at him blankly before your brain kicks back in and you take a sip of your drink.

“No more,” You say as you move towards the kitchen door, “Please.”

“I'm not promising you anything,” Alex says and you just head back out to the rest of the band and Y/B/F so you don’t start an argument.

And he couldn't, because half of Suck It And See was about you. And no doubt the next record would be too.

You were a constant in his life, and he fancied you to death. And he had for the longest time.

He wanted to tell you tonight, he just hoped that his stupid mishap in the kitchen hadn’t ruined his chances when he came to ask you.

The night goes on normally and you’re once again sitting next to Y/B/F on the loveseat so Alex once again has the beanbag. The rest of his bandmates occupied your settee and you all proceeded to let the alcohol drive your conversation even further.

So much so that shockingly to everyone, you of all people suggested a drinking game. It was surprising to Y/B/F as she knew how much you hated them but this one was pretty lighthearted.

It was just questions about life that kept the conversation fun and flowing whilst you drank. You’d asked each other what food you would eat for the rest of your life if you could only pick one thing.

If you could only listen to one, which record would you choose to listen to for the rest of your life. All of them were pretty lighthearted like that and it ended up being a really nice way to involve everyone in the conversation.

Throughout the game though, Alex noticed you on your phone more and more though. Not always on the handheld device per say but you were checking it more frequently than you usually did.

But the last five minutes you’d been typing on it non stop which led to you being a little surprised when Y/B/F flicked your head, returning you to the room once more. Alex was definitely keen to hear what you said in regards to this question.

It was only you and Alex left to answer.

“Okay Y/N/N, your go,” Matt says when you put your phone down immediately after sending Y/B/F a death glare for flicking you.  

“Okay, what is it again?” You ask, not quite remembering.

Nick reiterates, “If you had to choose from any of your friends to marry. Who would it be and why?”

“That’s a difficult question,” You say but Alex notes that the massive smile on your face completely contradicts your answer.

It seems like Alex wasn’t the only one to pick up on your facial expression.

“No it’s not,” Y/B/F says before poking your lips, “You smiled straight away... Someone came to mind.”

You playfully bat her hand away and recoil on yourself a little as you whine, “Stop it.”

“You’ve gone all flustered,” Matt laughs and Alex is glad he’s not the only one who sees it.  

Your best friend giggles at you and she pressures you to answer, “Who is it and why?”

You look at her and close your eyes for a second. He can tell you’re about to tell the truth because he knew you so well that he knew you’d lost the internal battle in your head.

Alex holds his breath waiting for your answer, but as soon as the name falls from your lips he wishes the question was never asked.

“Curly,” You tell her, as a grin starts forming on your perfect lips, “Because he makes me smile.”

Alex can feel his whole body deflate as he basically watches you glow as you talk about Matty.

“He’s the one you’ve been texting, isn’t he?” Y/B/F asks you, getting a little excited at this new revelation you obviously hadn’t told her.

“Maybe,” You smile, biting your lip, trying and failing to hide it.  

“Ahhhh,” Y/B/F squeals as Alex’s chest starts to hurt. He wishes she didn't ask, “Are you planning on meeting up with him?”

“He’s coming in a few weeks yeah,” You nod, but you explain your summer plans, “But I’m going to be over there for most of the year whilst you’s are on your tours.”

The Monkeys were off going to North America and as a Stage Manager for a different Domino band Y/B/F was headed on a festival tour with the band she was working with.

Matt can’t help but tease, as he does every time Matty is brought up, “You’re all horny for him again.”

Alex watches as you turn to his best friend who’s on the other settee and you giggle but shake your head, “It’s really not just about that.”

You explain, “I went to see him for his birthday for a few days last month and we didn't even kiss... I just like being around him.”

You debate saying something for a second but you seem to stop yourself from biting your tongue,  “He just makes me really happy... And I think I deserve to be happy.”

“Course you do,” Alex says softly with a smile even though he can feel his heart breaking.

And when you smile at him it hurts even more. Alex can see how happy you are thinking about Matty, he wished he could be the one to make you that happy.

“So what?” Y/B/F takes your attention again, ”You see yourself going out with him?”

As much as Alex loved Y/B/F, he really did just wish she would shut up. Fuck, he didn’t know it could be this painful to watch someone admit that they liked someone else.

“I’ve thought about what it would be like, as any normal girl does,” You giggle a little and Y/B/F laughs with you.

Matt asks a little skeptically, “Girls daydream about what it’s like going out with someone?”

Alex wishes his best mate would shut up, too. But he couldn’t blame him for wanting to know things about you, after all the only people who knew about Alex’s plan to ask you out were Miles and Jamie.

Last night, he’d been on the phone to Miles asking him what he thought and Jamie walked into the dressing room halfway through the conversation. He ended up telling Jamie too as he couldn’t keep it a secret as he would just pry it out of him.

Alex knew he couldn’t look at Jamie right now though, if he did he would probably cry. The last thing he wanted or needed was pity.

“Yes,” You nod, giggling slightly at Matt’s question, “Just like you daydream about touring with Iggy Pop.”

All of you have a laugh at that and Alex forces one out despite all him feeling inside was pain. Not even the amount of alcohol he drank helped in the slightest.

Matt asks, “How soon do you start that then?”

“As soon as you’ve kissed more than twice and you actually like them as a person,” You tell him and that makes Alex feel even worse.

“You’re not just going to fuck when you see him then?” Y/B/F asks you curiously.

“I don’t know,” You say, but you shake your head. “It used to be about that but I think that’s because I said that’s all it was years ago for that summer I was sort of with him.... But it’s different.”

You continue when Y/B/F prompts you to carry on, “We‘ll be chatting normally, like about work or something, and I’ll be squealing at my phone because he’s being cute... I can’t stop smiling and it’s got nothing to do with him flirting... It’s just because it’s him.”

Alex tunes out after that. He can’t bring himself to listen.

He doesn’t hear you basically say you hoped things would start with Matty and he doesn't hear you being hopeful about a possible future with your curly haired brunette. Alex just sits there counting the different strands of material that made up your rug.

Or that's what he did until you brought him back out of his head. He didn’t even hear you double check what everyone else’s answers were, until you found that Alex was the only one left to answer.

“What about you Al?” You bring him out of his thoughts which is probably for the best. He raises his eyebrows at you and you ask him, “Who would you marry?”

My best friend.

Y/N Y/L/N.

You.

All were answers that he wanted to say. He wanted to say them outloud but hearing what you just said, he couldn't bring himself to do so.

“Well, you say I’m already practically married to Miles,” Alex grins. “So I guess it’s a decision that’s been made for me.”

You giggle a little at that before your phone pings again and you grin down at it. Doesn’t take a genius to work out who you’re texting.

Alex looks away reaching for his drink but when he grabs it and looks back up around to his other friends and they all have sad smiles on their faces. The worst coming from Jamie and even Nick who he guessed must have been told by Jamie.

Even Matt and Y/B/F looked sort of sad for him. Maybe because they picked up on his somber mood as he was silently counting the fucking carpet in his head, or maybe they knew how he felt.

But that didn't matter anymore.

It was needless to say that Alex did not tell you how he felt that night. Or any night before he left for his tour, for that matter.

~*~*~*~ 22 July 2011 ~*~*~*~

You’d been in Manchester for a little over a month now and unfortunately for you nothing had happened with Matty. There were no kisses and there was no sex, which was fine because you didn’t expect that from him every time you saw him.

But in your heart you’d hoped that coming to Manchester and being around him again would lead to the both of you falling into a relationship. After all, you’d been talking to him almost everyday since November on the phone either texting or an actual phone call and the flirting was there.

So despite seeing your curly haired brunette almost every day after he’d finished work whilst you’d been in Manchester, nothing had happened between you.

Whilst that was a little disheartening, you were having a great time in Manchester staying with Adam, your Aunt and your Uncle again. Hanging out with the boys had been nice too and without Matty distracting you every few minutes you felt like you’d bonded with them even more.

You still felt the connection with Matty though as when you were around each other you just acted like the best of friends you were. He helped you relax by getting you a hot chocolate when work was stressing you out, all of which you’d brought to Manchester with you.

One day about a week ago, you’d been drawing all day, doing an art project someone had commissioned and Matty could see that you were in pain when he came round. He forced you to have a break and come down stairs with the rest of them and whilst you sat there and watched a film with them all, Matty took your hand and massaged it for the entire two hour film with no prompting on your behalf.

You thought it was adorable of him and even when you thanked him when the film was finished he held your hand for the rest of the night. That was probably the closest you’d gotten when you ended up cuddled into him holding his hand for the entire month you’d been there.

But he did make a habit of taking the hand that you drew with and massaging it when you were sitting next to each other. Something which melted your heart each and every time he did it.

Matty loved you being around more often. He probably loved it a lot more than he would ever let on, but this time around Matty wanted things to be a little different.

He was still flirty with you but in the subtlest of ways. He would bring you your favourite hot drink on his way home from work as there was a Costa right by it, he would drag you away from your work when you’d been working too hard.

Matty just tried to spend a lot of time with you whilst you were over in the most normal way he could considering your history. He didn’t want to rush things with you like you when you were younger, or even last year at the wedding.

He wanted to spend real time with you and not try his hardest to win you over each and every time you were in his presence. Matty wanted things to come naturally to the both of you which he was very glad was happening.

Matty wanted this time with you to secretly see if the both of you slotted together well in a natural way. He was taking the time to see how well you’d fit together when he inevitably asked you out whilst you were over.

He would never forgive himself if he didn’t. The fact that you’d been so close for so long now just filled Matty with so much hope and confidence that you’d actually say yes. He would never live it down if he didn’t ask you.

He’d all but begged you at the wedding to come and stay over the summer and the fact that you were in his presence for months longer than you usually did, made him unbelievably happy. So with the time together he knew he had to ask you.

The fact that you slotted into each other's routines so well filled Matty with more confidence and when he suggested the two of you, or the group of you do something, you never turned him down. You were always close with your friendship but Matty didn’t think you’d ever been as close as you were now.

So with all this on his mind, he knew he needed to tell his best mates his plan. And Matty was shitting it because one of them was obviously your cousin.

Tonight Matty had asked the boys to come straight to his house after they’d finished work and Matty had planned this strategically. He knew Adam finished the earliest and worked the closest so Matty was hoping that he could get your cousin alone to pre-warn him of his intentions.

And thankfully, fate was kind to him as Adam turned up at his house before the rest of the other boys even finished for the day. He was luring them to his house under the pretence of their upcoming gig, so Matty really shouldn’t have been taken aback when your cousin showed up and immediately had music on the brain.

“We changing the setlist again?” Adam asks as soon as Matty opens the door to let him in. “We can’t change the name, you know Y/N would have your head.” He chuckles and Matty does as well.

“Yeah, I know she would,” Matty nods. “Think the rest of you would too. Uh, it isn’t really about...” Matty hated that it was so much harder to tell Adam that he wanted to ask you out now that the two were face to face. Adam turned to face Matty and raised an eyebrow.

“What?” He asks.

“It isn’t about band stuff,” Matty muttered and looked away from his friend, heading into the lounge.

“You actually have something else to talk about?” Adam teases his friend as he follows him, leaning in the doorway as Matty just walks around the lounge, seemingly looking for something. “What’s going on with you?” Adam asked.

Matty takes a deep breath and stops, clasping his hands together as he turns to Adam, “I’m gonna tell you something and you can’t get mad at me because we’re so close to a gig.”

Adam laughed, “Right, what is it then?”

“I wanna ask Y/N out, for real. Not just... us fu-”

“Less detail,” Adam interrupts him quickly.

“Right, not just for a summer thing or anything, I want to ask her out for real,” He states. Adam nods and decides to fuck with his friend just a bit. He crosses his arms and fully enters the lounge.

‘Oh fuck.’ Matty thought to himself, instantly thinking Adam’s mad at him, though he was the most level headed of the four.

Adam places his hands on Matty’s shoulders, “It’s taken you long enough, you absolute idiot,” He chuckled.

“Fuck, Hann,” Matty scoffs and shoves his friend back slightly. “Nearly shit myself thinking you were going to lecture me.”

“Oh, no,” Adam laughs. “I’m sure Y/N already has or she will.” He smirks and plops down on the sofa.

Adam just gives Matty a friendly version of the 'if you hurt her, I’ll kill you' speech which Matty laughs off. He had no intention to ever hurt you, he’s truly head over heels.

Before either Matty or Adam know it, their other friends can be heard entering through the front door of Matty’s house and stalking to the living room.

“You wouldn't believe the cheek of this dickhead, asking me to pick him up on my way here,” George bursts into the room scolding his other mate who’s hot on his heels.

Ross pushes George's shoulder so he almost falls into the lounge saying, “You literally have a car and its raining outside, get a fucking grip. ”

“You live ten minutes down the road,” George scolds, turning back on his friend and shaking his head dismissively at him.

“It’s still fucking raining George, I’m sorry my head doesn’t peak above the clouds like yours. I can’t dodge the fucking rain,” Ross throws back and he actually makes Matty and Adam cackle.

“Sit down you prick,” George says, pushing Ross down into the seat beside Adam and George chuckles seeing his mate stick two fingers up at him.

George just sheds his coat off and sits himself down next to Matty. “So,” George says, resting his arm on the back of the settee, “What’ve we missed?”

Adam can’t help but announce with a girn, “Matty’s finally gunna ask Y/N/N out.”

“Oh thank god,” Ross says and George grins at his best mate before clapping a hand down on his shoulder in approval.

“I would say it’s ten years too late but I'm sure you asked her out before we even made it out of high school,” George jokes to his best mate and he’s thankful that he laughs along with the rest of the boys.

“When are you planning to do it?” Ross asks.

Matty shrugs, “I don’t really know… Soon… Saturday maybe?”

The 1975 had their first gig since March on Saturday and he thought that maybe then would be a good time to ask you, either before or after the gig he wasn’t sure.

Adam grins and nods, “How are you doing it? I’m just assuming you have a grand plan for it”

“Actually…” Matty trails off a little embarrassed. He tucks a strand of his hair out of his eyes before looking at your cousin and saying, “That’s actually why I asked you’s here. I can’t think of anything… Feel like I’ve lost my brain.”

“Never had a brain mate, but that's a little surprising you’ve not planned this one,” George says with a grin, “But I guess that you’re not flirting with her in Sainsburys anymore helps a little. Probably want it a little grander that the old times.”

“Fuck off,” Matty scoffs trying to hold back his laugh.

“You’s gunna help me or not?” Matty asks and all of his friends agree with massive smiles on their faces.

The brain storming goes on for a little while until it’s settled that skating should be the theme.

“You could take her to the skatepark just the two of you and ask her there?”

“It's been raining all month though, and I wanted to ask her sooner rather than later,” Matty tells them honestly.

This month not being with you how he wanted to be was hard enough. He didn't want to wait for late August's decent weather to kick in.

After a few minutes more of ideas being thrown around, Ross has an epiphany of sorts.

“She likes her crafts, doesn't she?” Ross asks the room.

All of the guys turn to him then with a frown and pull a face. Surely that was fucking obvious, you were a fucking graphic designer.

“Obviously… Where have you been if you don't actually know that by now?” Adam scorns his mate who was sitting next to him with a venomous, yet amused look.

“Shut up a minute,” Ross scoffs, elbowing him back. He then looks to Matty and says, “I was going to suggest you could sort of incorporate that as well as the skating.”

Matty asks, “How’d you mean?”

“Well she designed the full deck of hers that we bought her years back. So, why dont you paint the one you lent her years ago and then paint ‘be my girlfriend’ over that,” Ross suggests looking around at his mates for approval and he seemed to get it.

“That's actually not a bad idea,” George says looking round at Matty encouragingly, and Matty couldn’t help but smile.

“Yeah and then you can give it to her at the gig, because you could be skating round with her anyway like we do in most indoor venues?” Adam suggests and Matty loves the idea.

“Alright then, at the gig it is,” Matty grins and all his best mates pile on top of him, making a load of cheering noises.

Matty decides that he’s going to give you the board he lent you all those years ago, but instead of painting and ruining the bottom, he was going to write ‘Will you be my girlfriend?’ on the grip on top of the board.

He was going to ask you after the gig was finished so he could play you the song that was about you two and hopefully you’d like it. Then in the break between their performance and the headliners performance he would ask you out, and fingers crossed you’d say yes.

He had planned it all out in his head.

All that was left for Matty to do was get you to the gig.  

Matty phones you up and asks you to come to his house to join the rest of them which you thankfully do with no questions asked. Matty’s heart is beating in his chest despite him already being half sure you were coming to the gig anyway.

After an hour of all being together and chilling out, the boys start to trickle out of the room one by one, until it’s just you and Matty sitting alone in his lounge. You didn’t pick up on the excited buzz that all of them seemed to have as you were just used to them sometimes being a little crazier than normal.

But you may not have noticed because of two reasons. One, being that you’d been on your own all day drawing and designing away that the presence of others just seemed heightened in your mind. Or two, you were sitting next to Matty and you were so focused on him that you took no notice of the others being weirdos around you.

Matty had just come back into the room with your brew in hand and you thanked him for making it you. It was too hot to drink yet so you put it on the side to cool a little and you watched as your curly haired brunette retook his seat.

“Gig on Saturday, Wheels,” Matty says, sitting himself down next to you, ”Are you coming?”

“Of course I am,” You grin, turning towards him a bit and you pretend like you didn’t feel your heart skip a beat when he rested his hand on your thigh.

Matty grins as he hooks his fingers in your fishnets, “Good.”

“I’m a little shocked this is your first one since I’ve been here,” You say looking down at him pulling on the black material of your tights.

“Yeah it’s weird, but Jamie,” Their manager, "Booked the late summer ones because they are better apparently and obviously we had the ones earlier in the year, too,” Matty explains.

You wished you could have gone to the ones earlier in the year but you’d been so rammed with work, trying to finalise the first load of Suck It And See promotion stuff that you couldn’t make them. You never failed to send Matty a good luck message before the gig though, and you always called him after to see how it went.

“Seems that he was right anyway because all the tickets have sold out, but that could be us and it could be for who we’re supporting,” Matty continues tells you.

“Well I’m going to hop the barrier so I can come and hang out with you guys for their part of the gig,” You say, grinning a little.

You knew for the first part that you definitely wanted to be in the pit with the fans. Especially at a sold out show when you hadn’t seen them before as ‘The 1975’.

“You miss me that much?” Matty grins picking up your hand then and twisting the rings that adorn your fingers. “Can’t survive a gig without me?” He teases you a little and he likes seeing that it makes you grin.

“I always miss you, Curly. Why do you think I’m here?” You ask him in a quiet voice as you watch him spin the Death Ramps ring around your little finger.  

Matty chuckles a little but suggests, “To see the Hann’s?”

“I’m here for you Matty,” You tell him just before George bursts back into the room and takes up your attention.

But Matty didn’t mind, that piece of information you've just given him warms his heart to no extent. He couldn’t wait for Saturday night.

~*~*~*~ 30 July 2011 ~*~*~*~

Matty hadn’t plucked up the courage to ask you before the gig, he felt a little like everyone was waiting for him to do his grand plan and he didn’t really want it to be like that. He wanted just the two of you alone to do it, make it a little more personal.

But between soundcheck, the other band coming and messing about with you all, and trying to battle his nerves for both the gig and asking you out, Matty couldn’t do it. So he figured he’d get one out of the way first and then when you hopped the barrier he could steal you away whilst everyone was entertained with the headliners gig and ask you then.

So Matty’s nerves peaked when you hugged him goodbye at the barrier and he pulled you into a hug. It felt like his heart was beating out of his chest when he pulled you into a hug and said, “We’ll see you out there.”

You hug him back tightly and when you release him you say, “Break a leg, Curly,” before kissing his cheek.

You watch as Matty grins down at you and you hold your breath when you think he’s going to kiss you. But unfortunately he doesn’t, he just pulls you into another hug before he’s told by the venue manager to head backstage again before the doors open.

You smile at him as he disappears backstage and only minutes later you’re swarmed with girls around the ages of 16 to 21 you think. You didn’t mind being surrounded by them as you quite liked the environment of fans being stuck in the pit together, even if they were quite a bit younger than you.

That was something you loved about music, you were 25 and some of these girls looked almost a full decade younger than you. But they were still at the front ready to enjoy some amazing music.

You ended up chatting to quite a few of them around you, which once you started a conversation you couldn’t stop. After the mob at the front had settled down and there wasn’t the mad influx of people trying to reach the barrier, you initiated a conversation with the girl with light brown hair next to you.

She was really pretty and reminded you of Matty’s ex Lucy as she had the same style of hair, yet she was also sort of a mixture between Lucy and Adam’s girlfriend Rebecca as she wore a blue jeans with knee high boots, but her outfit had some colour in in with a lilac top to finish her look.

Rebecca wasn’t afraid of wearing colour like you and Y/B/F pretty much were. You liked your black clothes, like you knew Matty did. Usually the only other colour you went for was a white, maybe a shirt with a few flowers on it at a push these days.

Your vibe was all about your fishnets, shorts, and band tops though. You didn’t need any more colour than that.

Although tonight you had changed it up a bit. You still wore your fishnets but they were mostly hidden under your ripped black skinny jeans. You also wore a plain black top tucked into it.

A baggy blue denim jacket finished off your look and of course you had your hightops on too.

You guessed that girl beside you was here alone too because she wasn’t chatting to anyone around her like others were doing. So, you decided to befriend her, “Are you excited?”

“Yeah,” She grins at you, seeming really glad you spoke up. “I really am.”

“Which band are you here for?” You ask her, knowing there was a band both before and after your boys were due on.

This gig was all about promotion apparently and by the looks of the crowd behind you, you think that both the boys and the other bands would do very well. You just sort of hoped that more of these people were here for your boys than the other bands you’d met today.

“Oh, I literally just came for The 1975,” She tells you and you can’t help but grin.

You were glad you’d befriended one of your own.

“Have you seen them before?” You ask her curiously.

You knew the band had a fairly good following now Jamie was getting them regular gigs and he was doing good promotion for them all around Manchester.

The brunette tells you, “No but I’ve been listening to their new stuff on YouTube and I love them.”

You loved that she was watching them on YouTube. You didn’t do that enough because you had their audio files but you needed to start checking their channel more often.

“Awh, well you’ll love them I’m sure,” You smile at her, knowing she would.

You loved Matty’s voice every time you heard him sing. Whether that was him singing along to the radio in the car or just practicing with the boys, you adored it.  

“You’ve seen them before then?” She picks up and you smile and nod.  

“Yeah, more times than I can count,” You tell her, not telling her why though because you didn’t want to be thought of as a groupie.

“Oh my god,” The girl gasps, “I’m so jealous.”

You giggle a little at her excitement, but you just assure her, “You’ll love them honestly.”

“I really really hope so,” She smiles and glances back to the stage as if they were about to just come out there and then.

“What’s your favourite song?” You ask her, a little curious.

You knew of the ones they had sent you the audio files for because you burned them onto a CD last year and played them now and again so you’d be clued up at their gigs. Something which you were glad you did now because you’d hate to be at the front of their gig and know none of their lyrics.

You used to be so good with their Drive Like I Do songs, but you knew they had other songs now.

You obviously knew about Sex, Girls, Robbers, M.O.N.E.Y., and Talk!. You knew they had others hidden away in Matty’s notebook, just like you had your poems hidden away in your notebook.

But you knew Jamie wanted them to save things for their album that he was hoping they could record sooner rather than later.

“Fallingforyou,” The girl tells you with a smile and you raise your eyebrows a little.

“I don’t think I’ve heard that one yet,” You tell her honestly, “Is it new?”

“Yeah,” She nods, “I think they only played it for the first time back at their gigs earlier this year or something.”

You nod understandingly, “Ah right... You’ll have to tell me which it is when it starts.”

“Oh, you’ll know,” She grins at you then as if she knows a secret you don’t. You grin and raise your eyebrows hoping she’d elaborate and you’re glad when she does, “Matty drags a girl up from the crowd and then, more times than not, he kisses her.”

“Does he now?” You ask, a little amused at Matty’s antics.

You knew what he was like, Adam had told you stories months ago. You also used to see how cocky and confident he got when he performed years ago.

It was no surprise hearing this revelation.

“Yeah,” She grins like a schoolgirl, “God, I hope it’s me.”

You smile at her but don’t reply, because you really wished it wouldn’t be. You think you’d cry if he kissed someone else in front of you.  

“Are you’s talking about Fallingforyou?” You hear a girl behind you ask and when you turn you see another pretty girl probably around 18 with ginger hair.  

“Yep,” The brunette you’d been talking to answers and nods her head.

“Oh god, I’m so excited for that tonight,” The girl behind you almost squealed.

You hear another girl chirp in then, “Do you think he’ll pull someone up again?”

“I was just saying I low-key hope it’s me,” The brunette grins and then laughs when other girls around you start listening in.

“Same honestly,” The ginger girl giggles and then the conversation turns onto Matty himself and you’re surprised at how much all these girls knew about him.

You just hoped that if you asked them they would know the other boys' names. But you didn’t hold your breath.

By the time the first band came on you’d established that the whole of the barrier and the front half of the pit were fans of The 1975, which you loved because you were glad people were here for your boys.

The first band were okay, not bad at all but you think they ruined themselves a little for you when they covered From Ritz To Rubble and it just wasn’t the same as when Alex did it. But maybe that was because you’d heard your best friend sing that song since you were 18 years old at their gigs.

You think that maybe you were just too judgemental about it because everyone else around you seemed to enjoy it. They weren’t a bad band by any means but when they finished you knew it was only 15 minutes until your boys would be on.

And you couldn’t wait.

You were buzzing when the lights went down in the pit again and the room really seemed to erupt when you saw the shadows of your boys on stage. You loved them all dearly, but you couldn’t take your eyes off Matty.

You recognised the drums kick into a song you’d heard them practice the past month. You knew it to be called The City and you genuinely loved it.

Watching Matty on stage is just as amazing as it was the last time you saw him. If anything he’d grown into himself and he was even more confident up there on stage with just the microphone in his hand as he sang.

It’s something you think Matty does really well. You know Alex always felt like he didn’t know what to do when he wasn’t required to use his guitar for a song, but Matty absolutely owned the stage and the attention of all who watched.

You sing along to their opening track and everyone around you seems to be having a great time. You’re pressed into the barrier from time to time due to the surge forward from the crowd but it’s nothing you couldn’t handle, especially when you’re watching the guy you fancy performing on stage.

Tonight he’s wearing his black Dr Martens which was fairly normal for Matty when you both didn’t go out skating. He also wore black jeans that hung low on his hips, meaning that you could see his We Are Kings tattoo as he also had on an open black button up.

He looks gorgeous and his curls moving in every direction as he sings and dances his way across the stage just made him even more irresistible.

Their set was amazing and before you knew it it was halfway through. They had been doing a mixture of originals and covers but the people around you were singing along to the boys songs like they had been around for years.

And that made you really happy.

Their setlist so far had gone:

The City

Come As You Are - Nirvana

M.O.N.E.Y.

The Denial Twist - The White Stripes

Talk

Girls

And their songs have been just as good as the covers. Everyone had just sung along so loudly to Girls, you could see the joy on all of their faces hearing their song shouted back to them.

“Okay, so we’re going to slow it down a little now,” Matty says looking at the crowd and you see him smile when the noise picks up for him. “We’re going to do another cover for you, and I know for a fact that you all know this one so I better hear you all fucking singing with me.”

You chuckle up at him. You love seeing him confident in himself as he swaps his electric guitar for an acoustic and plugs it in.

You’re watching him intently and when he catches your eye and smiles down at you can’t help but grin up at him. Matty keeps your eye contact and says into the microphone, “I hope you enjoy this one,” as if he’s saying it only to you.

And when he starts strumming his guitar you know he actually was talking just to you. The familiar chords ring in your ears and you don’t know how you didn’t scream before the rest of the crowd did when they recognised the song.

Matty starts playing the chords to begin with but you notice that Adam joins in with him and Matty switches to playing little parts of the melody to keep the rhythm. You can’t believe what you’re hearing though, you even had a hard time believing it when Matty’s eyes stay glued to yours and he starts singing.

“Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it,” He sings so beautifully and you really feel like crying as you sing along to I’m Yours by Jason Mraz.

You can’t believe they kept it a secret from you that they were performing this one. It’s your favourite song and you can’t believe Matty’s singing it.

Matty's eyes stay on you the whole time he sings the lyrics, his eyes only leaving yours to check where his fingers were on the guitar or to actually keep them closed when he sings. Any other time though they stay on you.

And it makes you feel like you’re the only one in the room.

Despite that, the audience around and behind you are singing the song back at Matty like it’s the last song they’d ever sing. It’s amazing hearing everyone supporting your friends.

But selfishly you adored the fact he was singing your favourite song and looking only at you as he did so. And you felt your cheeks go hot when he winked at you during the ‘nibble your ear’ line.

You’re the first to start the roar of applause at the end of the song and Matty chuckles down at you before he thanks the crowd for singing along with him. You watch as the lights go low then and you can just about see Matty take his guitar off and give it to the stage handler.

They’re proper professionals now it seems. You really love seeing all of your friends looking so natural up on stage.

Adam looks like he’s home, you’d honestly never seen him so sure of himself up on a stage with a guitar. Ross looks like he’s having a great time and George looks like he was buzzing with energy.

Your Curly just looks amazing up on the stage with a microphone in his hands.

“Right,” Matty grins, taking the microphone off the stand and unwrapping it. “Time for one of our slow ones now.”

The girls around you all squeal then and the brunette you befriended earlier taps your arm and says, “It's going to be now.”

She grins at you and you smile at her. Bless, she looks so excited to finally hear her favourite song live.

“When I get back up on stage is the time for you to get your phone out and put your torches on for me,” Matty grins into the mic, looking around at the people he was entertaining.

You watch your curly haired brunette now as he takes one of his in-ears out. You smile seeing that as you knew Jamie had treated them all at Christmas so they could have the best quality at their gigs.

Matty did truly look like a professional. Like he was born to be on stage.

The fact that everyone clings onto his every word is proof of that.

It’s also the fact that everyone at the barrier apart from you starts to adjust themselves to appear more attractive as Matty comes down the stairs at the side of the stage.

All the girls near the front put on their best smiles and stand up straight. Half of them adjusting their tops to show off their boobs a bit more which you had to stop yourself laughing at. Wasn’t like he hadn’t already seen yours, he didn’t need to see them here too.

He asks a few of the girls along the barrier if they’d enjoyed the show and you hear his chuckle over the speakers when he said they had. But by the time he makes it down in front of you, you see his grin get bigger and bigger.

Matty walks towards you and says, “You seem a little bored,” despite knowing you aren’t.  

“Just waiting for the next song,” You say, not being able to drop the smile from your lips because he just sang you your favourite song that he danced with you to only a matter of months ago.

Matty picks your hand up off the barrier then and grins, “Let’s sing it then, shall we?”

You know he’s asking you to come on stage with him and you don’t think you'd be able to turn him down even if you wanted to. He’s just made your whole night by singing that song to you.

You want to kiss him right now in front of everyone, and that wasn't like you. You didn’t like PDA all that much, especially in front of strangers, but him performing that song and looking at no one else but you for the entirety of it just made you so weak for him.

Matty helps you hop the barrier and he doesn’t let go of your hand as he walks you back towards the stage to get the both of you up. And you almost make it by the time the rest of the band starts playing the song.

“What time you coming out?” Matty starts and you already like the soothing music that you somehow knew this track would be.

Matty stops the two of you when you reach center stage and his head rests on your shoulder, one arm around your waist as the other holds the microphone for him so sing, “We started losing light

I’ll never make it right if you don't want me ‘round”

The sea of phone lights in front of you was amazing to witness, you couldn’t imagine what that was like to see every night on stage. All of your friends were seriously lucky in that respect that they got this magical view.

“I’m so excited for the night

All we need’s my bike and your enormous house,” Matty sings with a bit of a grin on his face.

He remembered going to your house all those years ago when you were upset and he’d made so many jokes about how big your house was because you had it all to yourself at the time. He’d really made you laugh with that joke as it did cheer you right up, but that doesn’t stop you from correcting him now.

“It’s not enormous,” You laugh and Matty just grins at you and chuckles a little before he starts the next line.

“You said someday we might

When I'm closer to your height

Till then we’ll knock around and see,” He sings and your heart melts at the memory and you lean into him some more.

Matty points out that he’s taller than you now and you smile remembering telling him that years ago. You giggle when he pats you on your head to signify that you’re smaller than him.

Matty laughs a little singing, “If you're all I need.”

At this point you feel a little strange being up on stage for everyone to see with him, even though your mind is primarily focused on him. You try to block everyone else out but you don’t know how to be around him on stage so you just turn around in his arms and hug him as you say into his ear, “I don’t know what to do.”

Matty moves his microphone away from his mouth to tell you over the music, “Just let me hold you.”

Matty says, hugging you into him tighter, “Listen to your song, Sweetheart.”

Matty holds your waist tight but he leans back enough to be able to sing the chorus as he looks at you.

You look straight into each other's eyes as he sings the chorus and you’re half sure your soul leaves your body. If someone had told you what you were about to hear, you never would have believed them.

“Don’t you see me? I

I think I’m falling, I’m falling for you, ” Matty sings and your heart may as well have just stopped in your chest.

The fact that he’d just told you it was your song and now he was singing that he was ’falling for you’ made your breath hitch. Was he serious?

“And don't you need me? I

I think I'm falling, I’m falling for you.”

From the look in Matty’s eyes he is definitely serious. His beautiful brown eyes tell you that everything he’s singing is completely genuine and he isn’t joking at all.

“And on this night, and in this light

I think I'm falling, I’m falling for you.”

The smile he shares with you then melts your heart and you can’t believe how sincere he’s being. That was a scary thing to do, especially to sing a personal song, to the person it was about, and in front of a room full of strangers.

“And maybe you, change your mind,” Matty sings, praying you want him in the way he wants you now.

And from the look in your stunning Y/E/C eyes, he could tell that you were on the same exact page as him.

“I’m caught on your coat again,” Matty sings as he releases you from the hug only to twirl you around, which makes you giggle, and he pulls on your jacket so you come back towards him, as if he was indeed caught on your coat.

“You said, ‘Oh no, its fine’

I read between the line and touch your leg again”

“Wedding?” You silently ask him and Matty smiles at you and nods when he sings his other, “Again.”

You chuckle a little at that revelation as this song did just really seem to include the whole of your relationship. It was a gorgeous song and you truly loved each and every word he was singing.

“I’ll take it one day at a time

Soon you will be mine, oh

But I want you now (I want you now)” Matty sings and you can see in his eyes that he’s not joking at all.

He’s looking at you as if he’s begging you to understand that he’s being completely serious. He does want you to know, and you can tell he's being genuine.

“When the smoke is in your eyes, you look so alive

Do you fancy sitting down with me? Maybe” Matty grins at you at this point, but he pulls you back into his body and you don't hesitate to put your hand on his shoulder and effectively slow dance like you did at the wedding.

Matty sings and the notes falling from his lips are stunning. “Cause you’re all I need”

He sounds amazing. He looked amazing.

“According to your heart” Matty sings, continuing to look straight into your Y/E/C eyes and he taps your chest just above where your heart was beating rapidly.

He pulls you back into his arms then and you hug his waist as he sings, “My place is not deliberate

The feeling of your arms”

“I don't wanna be your friend

I wanna kiss your neck” He sings loudly in your ear and you can't help but hide yourself into his neck and you grin like an idiot when you feel him place a lone kiss on your neck before he has to start singing again.

This song is literally how you feel. Everything about it is perfect and it’s exactly what you’d been thinking since last October.

You’re falling for him. There was no doubt about that in your mind.

You fell for him a little more every single day you were in his presence. Every glance, every touch, every smile.

You are his.

And by the sounds of the chorus of ‘your song’, he’s yours.

“Don’t you see me? I

I think I’m falling, I’m falling for you”

You definitely see him. He’s all you’d been looking at for the last month, and for the last six months in all your pictures in your flat.

“And don't you need me? I

I think I'm falling, I’m falling for you”

You’d needed him since you were 19 and you’d first told him about your shitty relationship and he helped you stop crying. You loved your late night phone calls with him more than you’d ever admitted before and you’d definitely needed them over the years.

“And on this night,

and in this light

I think I'm falling,

I’m falling for you

And maybe you,

change your mind”

Matty finishes off the lovely song as he feels your lips on his neck which makes him unable to stop smiling like an idiot the entire time he sings.

Matty pulls you out of the hug a little as he reaches and puts his microphone on his stand. Once you can clearly see his face, Matty raises his eyebrows at you as if to actually ask if you’d changed your mind.

You nod a little before both of you lean into each other. Your hand cups his jaw and you don’t hesitate to kiss him the way you’d been dying to the past month.

When your lips meet it’s like it was the first time again. You think the both of you feel it, the butterflies in your stomach and the bubbling excitement that radiates from the two of you.

It’s like something clicked between the two of you, but this time it feels more secure. Like you both know that this would last more than a summer fling.

The whole room erupts then but you and Matty don’t really care, or pay any attention to it. The noise is deafening but you don’t think it would ever be loud enough to break the kiss until you both feel like you need to.

After a minute of pure bliss, Matty pulls away from the kiss and immediately pulls you into a tight hug and he says into your ear over the sound of the audience, “I wanna go out with you Sweetheart.”

“I wanna go out with you too, Curly,” You say, feeling emotional and when Matty pulls away from the hug, holding your face to check almost as if he's checking you’re real.

You just want to melt in his hands.

“Really?” Matty double checks, getting a bit excited at the thought of hearing you say that back to him.

“Yeah,” You nod, a grin still on your gorgeous face.  

The grin that came to Matty's face was something you don’t think you’d ever forget. It was like he couldn't contain his own happiness.

Matty can’t and doesn’t want to get rid of the massive grin on his face when he traps you in another kiss. He immediately feels like he'd been transported to his own personal heaven.

He’s on stage with a crowd screaming for him and you are in his arms, his girlfriend is in his arms, kissing him back.

This kiss is prolonged as Matty is eager to cement the agreement with a long gesture. The whole thing just makes your heart beat faster.

You don’t deny him for a second. Your fingers lace into his curls and you pull on them to keep the kiss going, never wanting this moment with him to end.

You actually got the guy you liked and Matty had finally got his girl after almost a decade of pining.

Matty loves you with every ounce of his being. He knows he can’t just outright tell you right now at the risk of scaring you off, but he thinks the song worked just as well.

When you pull away from him, Matty pecks your lips once more before giving your hand another squeeze. You’re both just standing there for a second, grinning like idiots until Matty hears a voice in his in-ear and starts laughing.

“Who?” You question, guessing that it could be one of the stage crew or even one of the band.

The latter was the correct guess as Matty grins at you, telling you, “Hann.”

You turn to look at your cousin who was also attempting to control his smile but he’s failing. He’s beaming at the two of you and he couldn’t be happier, especially seeing how over the moon you are.

You let go of Matty’s hand to walk over to your favourite guitarist. Adam’s already walking over to you to meet you in the middle to give you a hug.

The crowd screams again when Adam hugs you and you can’t help but giggle at the noise.

“I’m so happy for you,” He shouts down your ear over the rowdy crowd.

You hug him impossibly tighter as you tell him, “I love you Ads.”

“I love you too B,” Adam tells you and your heart melts even more.

Your cousin then kisses your cheek which you love him for being so cute for, but the crowd go fucking wild for that interaction too. The both of you just laugh but you laugh even more when Matty grabs the microphone again.

“Calm down,” He instructs the rowdy lot, “She’s just his cousin.”

The scream got impossibly louder and you can’t help but laugh as you turn back around to Matty. You walk back towards him and Matty pecks your lips once more which then makes you want to hide when you hear the crowd go wild again.

Ross and George blow kisses at you as you're hugging yourself into Matty and you send them one back as you shy away from the crowd's reaction. After another minute on stage, Matty leads you down the stairs and positions you in front of the stage near one of his mates with a camera and he asks you to stay there for the rest of the gig.

You happily do but you can’t get the smile off your face for the rest of it. How could you not when you were looking at your boyfriend owning the stage with every song he sang.

The set finished off with them playing Tongue Tied by Grouplove and then they concluded their set with Sex.

You feel blood rush to your cheeks when they start playing that one, purely because you’d known it was about you since the first time you heard it. It was a little hard not to think it was about you when the primary lyric was She's got a boyfriend anyway and given your history of how you started.

The bridge literally told everyone about that moment in his bedroom all those years ago. Yeah he dramaticized it a little but it was a moment in your life that you’d never forget.

The outro always made you laugh because it literally listed things about you.

“You got your tongue pierced anyway”

Yeah, fairly obvious it was you even though you’d taken it out years ago now.

“You’re in your hightops anyday”

It always makes you giggle because your hightops are the shoes you wore all the time. Hell, you’re even wearing them now.

“You’re in your skinny jeans anyway”

Again you’re wearing skinny jeans now. They just had rips in them that showed off the fishnets that you wore underneath.

“You and your fit friends anyway”

One of your favourite lyrics that always made you laugh. You don’t know how many times you’d heard the boys say that Y/B/F was attractive. But it was a lot.

“I’d take em all out anyday”

He’d teased you a lot over the years saying that Y/B/F was very attractive and some of the ones he saw in the pictures you posted years ago weren’t too bad either. But sometimes he wasn’t always so nice...

“They all got back combs anyway”

He also took the piss out of them saying that it was only you and Y/B/F who didn’t have the same hair. Despite it being the style years ago it had never been what you went for.

Instead of singing the last You’ve got a boyfriend anyway, Matty instead looks you straight in the eye and grins when he says, “You’ve got a boyfriend Y/N. It’s me.”

You laugh at him and your heart once again melts hearing him announce that to everyone. Matty was yours. He was your boyfriend and you couldn’t be more thrilled.

You watch your boyfriend then as he takes his guitar off and let’s the others finish the rest of the song. The crowd are once again going mental and you can’t help but giggle when your curly haired brunette takes your hand and pulls you up on stage once again.

Matty traps you against his side when he heads to the microphone again. He says with a massive grin on his lips, “We’ve been The 1975. Thanks for coming, Goodnight.”

Matty then waves to the room of screaming fans which all seem to be there for their band. So many emotions are hitting you at this moment but most of all, the pride you feel for your boys who had just smashed their first gig in months.

Matty keeps you against his side when he walks the two of you off stage leaving the others on to finish off the song. Something which you're a little glad about because you have a moment alone with him.

You kiss Matty as soon as you’re off stage and your heart feels like it’s about to burst. Your fingers are laced in his hair, not letting I’m escape you as the kiss deepens even further than it did on stage.

You feel whole standing there in his arms kissing him.

He’s yours in the way you’d wanted him to be for months. He’s your boyfriend and you don’t think that anything could make you happier.

When you both pull away from the kiss, you stay close to each other, just moving away enough so you could see his gorgeous face. He was a little sweaty from performing but you didn’t care in the slightest, you don’t want to be anywhere in the world other than in his arms right here, right now.

“Hey Sweetheart,” Matty grins at you, tucking a loose strand of your hair back behind your ear.

You can’t help the giggle that falls from your lips when he says that and you can’t stop smiling as you twirl his curls around your fingers saying, “Hi Curly.”

You can tell Matty’s about to say something else but your bubble breaks a little when you hear cheers from behind you and you’re immediately pressed further into Matty’s chest when the rest of the band surrounds you in the tightest of group hugs. You and Matty are giggling as the other guys cheer around you, obviously thrilled for the both of you.

“I’m so buzzing for you mate,” You hear George say to Matty.

You grin and ask, “Which one of you is buzzing for me?”

You think you hear Ross say, “That’d be me.”

You giggle then and you all let each other leave the big group hug. You keep yourself tucked under Matty’s arm though, never wanting to leave again.

Adam gets all of your attention back to him when he says, “Didn’t know the plan had changed that much Matty.”

“What plan?” You ask, looking up at your Curly a little confused.

“I’ve been planning to ask you out for weeks, Wheels.” Matty admits a little shyly but you can also hear the confidence in his voice as he tells you.

You just want to cry at that point because you just think he’s so adorable.

“Yeah and he just threw the plan right out of the window,” George laughs, punching Matty’s shoulder.

“I didn’t,” Matty defends himself, ”I was still doing the other plan but it just seemed too perfect up on stage. I couldn’t not tell her.”

You have to ask, “What plan?”

“Come on, I’ll do both so you don’t miss out,” Matty says, grabbing your hand and tugging it so you’ll follow him which you obviously do.

He leads you into their assigned dressing room that you’d all been in and out of all day. You hear the other guys all follow you down the corridor but Matty makes an effort to start before they reach the room.

Your curly haired brunette holds both of your hands and looks straight into your eyes as he begins. You feel a little nervous for it yourself but you just try and hold your emotions so he could tell you.

“Okay so, I was going to tell you that I think about you all the time. There’s not a day that goes by when I don’t think about how you are, what you’re doing, what you're drawing or painting with these gorgeous hands,” Matty says, giving them a squeeze and his grin makes heat rise to your cheeks and your smile gets even bigger.

“The highlight of my day is getting a text from you and our phone calls almost every night just make me so unbelievably happy,” He tells you and you’re sure he can feel the joy radiating from you.

He chuckles a little before he tells you, “When I hear you call me Curly I’m sure my heart skips a beat every time just because it’s you. You being here for the last month has been amazing and it’s been so difficult stopping myself from kissing you... like, it’s all I’ve wanted to do.”

You giggle then a little, relieved that it wasn’t just you who’d been missing the physical contact you usually had.

“And above all…” Matty trails off letting you go for a minute and you watch as he picks up his skateboard that had all the band stickers on it that he’d lent you almost ten years ago now.

You smile seeing the red wheels you’d attached to it years ago and Matty continues telling you, “I’ve missed you coming and skating with me. One of my favourite memories of us is teaching you how to skate and you coming back each year wanting me to teach you more… So I’m really glad you’re back.”

You’re grinning like an idiot at him telling you that, but then Matty holds the board horizontally across his chest so you can see the band stickers clearly. “And then I was going to ask you something,” Matty grins.

You’re about to question why he’s holding the deck so oddly but then he flips it around, and then you see that a question has been chalked onto the grip.

Will you be my girlfriend? ❤️

Your eyes just fully well up then and you just throw your arms around his neck and trap the board between your bodies. “You’re so fucking cute,” You just about manage to tell him.

Matty hugs you close to him but he created enough room between you that he can slip the board out from between you. After that though his arms wrap around your waist and he holds you close to him as all his mates are watching the two of you from the doorway with massive grins on their faces.

“So?” You hear Matty chuckle into your ear after he kisses the side of your head.

Despite asking you already, you know he wants to get a definitive answer from you.

You're just happily crying into his neck when you answer him, “Of course I will.”

When you release him from the hug you don’t hesitate to kiss him again and you are certain that you're already falling really hard for him. No one has ever gone out of their way to be so kind and adorable with you.

Your other boyfriends had never made you feel so special. You certainly don’t think you’d ever felt anything as intense towards them as you do now about Matty.

The night ends off with you and Matty getting your picture taken outside the venue. Your back is against Matty‘s chest and you’re leaning into him as his arms are around your waist. You're also holding the skateboard up at the camera that Adam was holding so you could remember the moment forever.

Matty’s whispering cute things into your ear and he has you giggling as Adam takes the pictures. You end up tilting your head around toward your boyfriend so you can kiss him over your shoulder and you’re both grinning when your lips attach together.

You end up pulling the pictures up on your laptop as soon as you get back to Matty’s with the lads to celebrate. There are three pictures you adored.

One of the both of you smiling at the camera. One of you both giggling. And the one of you kissing him over your shoulder.

You don’t care that your Instagram mostly contains your art these days. This is something you want to remember forever.

So the next day when you wake up next to your boyfriend, you don't hesitate to put them all on Instagram and tag him in them.

You didn’t need to say much in the caption, as the message on the skateboard said it all really. But you can’t resist the urge to add the caption:

I’ve got a boyfriend anyway

~*~*~*~ 3 August 2011 ~*~*~*~

Alex hadn’t spoken to you on the phone for a week. The late nights and the busy tour schedule with random interviews here, there, and everywhere left him completely knackered.

If Alex wasn’t performing or doing an interview, he was on the bus or backstage asleep.

Never mind vocal rest, Alex just needed a good rest because everything was annoying him lately.

He hadn’t spoken to you purely because of the lack of time his schedule gave him and the fact that when he did have a minute’s peace, you were in completely different time zones and he couldn’t call you. Mostly because Alex didn’t want to wake you up as he knew you didn’t always sleep the best anyway.

Waking up yesterday in the sweltering heat of Texan summertime, Alex left the rest of the lads on the bus. All of them were doing his head in and he just needed to get out and clear his head before the gig.

He was walking around the city not too far from the arena he was due to play in a matter of hours. Alex was wearing his jeans and a vest top that had the Vans on the front of it and he was still sweating.

Alex curses himself thinking he should have just worn shorts today and put his jeans on for the gig. But he was already out and he had no intentions of heading back to the other lads until it was time to soundcheck.

Alex thought about you a lot as he roamed the city. He thought about you when he went into an antique book shop and picked you out another poetry book he had no doubt you’d love.

He also thought of you whilst he listened to McFly‘s album that you’d been playing non stop before he left for tour. It seems like to calm down and try and destress, Alex just had to think of you.

He thinks about you most though when his hair starts doing his head in. It was that warm it was sticking to the back of his neck and his forehead and he realises he needs it cut again.

Initially he only intended on getting it trimmed. But when he stopped outside the barbers and looked at the board outside that showed all the haircuts, he changed his mind.

Number 17 stands out to him more than it ever had before and it takes him right back to your movie night months ago. And how you reacted to a certain character's hair.

So Alex ends up walking into the barbers with a shaggy head of hair and he walks out with a '50s greasers cut.

After a few more hours out and about, Alex heads back to the bus and to his mates. He was dying for a shower because despite the barber putting a gown over him, he could feel stray hairs all over his neck and shoulders.

Getting back to the bus was fairly easy and he was glad that no one had bothered him before the show today. All he wanted to do was chill out before the show, maybe have a quick nap in the dressing room after soundcheck.

But his afternoon didn’t play out like that.

“Al, is that you?” He hears Nick shout after obviously hearing the door open.

“Yeah, what’s up,” Alex asks as he walks up the stairs.  

Alex walks into the room and sees Matt on his phone. But then he sees Nick and Jamie’s shocked expressions upon seeing his new haircut.

Matt still hadn’t looked up when he started saying, “You need to- oh.”

Alex smirks a bit looking at his mates reactions to his new hair.

“You’ve cut your hair,” Jamie says, clearly a little shocked.

“Observant, aren’t you Cookie?” Alex grins before untying his hoodie from his waist and heading towards the bunks. “I’m going for a shower.”

“Actually Al,” Matt stops him and Alex turns back to his best mate. “You need to see something.”

“What?” Alex asks, hanging in the doorway.

“It’s Y/N/N,” Matt draws out your name almost like he’s hesitant to tell Alex whatever it is.

Alex’s blood runs cold though. He immediately thinks the worst, “What’s wrong? Is she okay?”

The relief that Alex just feels is like nothing else.

“Er yeah, she’s fine,” Matt nods and tries his best to be sympathetic towards his best friend as he says, “But it’s not something you’re gunna like Al... But you’ve gotta know before the merch meeting tomorrow.”

“What is it?” Alex asks the room expectantly.

“Sit down.”

Alex chuckles nervously as he’s not really seen his mates react like this before. He jokingly says, “You’re making it sound like she’s dead.”

“We just want you to be alright Al,” Jamie pretty much sighs as his mate sits next to him.

And just from Jamie saying that, he knows the news he’s been dreading is coming.

Seeing the photos Alex is pretty devastated. All of the lads can see it on Alex’s face, especially now he doesn’t have all the hair to hide behind.

Alex tries his best not to react to it, especially in front of his mates but he can’t help the sinking feeling in his chest. You look so happy, so unbelievably happy in the pictures with Matty as you hold the skateboard up.

Even when Alex compliments the pictures to his mates before he leaves for his shower, his mates can tell he’s forcing them out to try and act unbothered. But they’d all been friends for years, they know when one of them isn’t okay.

The gig picks up Alex’s mood a little until Alex gets a little too in his head about the songs he’s singing. It seems like almost every single one had a piece of you in it, let alone the full songs that actually were about you.

Today Alex’s mood has been slightly better after the news had sunk in. He wants you to be happy and if Matty makes you happy like he seems to, Alex couldn't be selfish and wish that away from you.

His mood gets a little better knowing he’d be speaking to you today. They had travelled from Austin to Houston straight after the gig last night and this morning they had an interview discussing the newly released album.

Whilst all that was great, Alex just couldn’t wait to speak to you. And hearing your voice again really was a breath of fresh air for him.

He didn’t even wait for his phone to ring twice upon hearing your call come through.

“Hey,” Alex answers a little too fast.

“Alex hey,” He hears you and relief suddenly floods his system, “I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you too,” Alex says and after hearing a brief moment of silence, he feels like he should bring up what he knows. “I believe you’ve got some news for me, Angel?”

“I’m assuming you’ve seen the pictures,” You smile as you look at the ones you’d printed off almost immediately when you got back to your Aunt and Uncles.

“Yeah,” Alex smiles, trying to be positive about everything, “You look really happy in them.”

“I was,” You confirm, still smiling like an idiot. But then you correct yourself, “I am.”

“Well as long as you're happy Angel, I’m happy,” You heard your best friend say and you can’t help but grin like a Cheshire Cat.

“Thanks Al,” You say, but then you reiterate, “I miss you.”

“I miss you, too,” His answer is immediate and it makes you smile.

You chat for about half an hour on the phone as the ‘meeting’ you were meant to be having wasn’t scheduled for when you initially called. You wanted to catch up with your best friend and see how he was doing.

After a while, you get on to the subject of the weather and you tell him about the classic British rain and he tells you about how boiling he’s been over in America. You’re definitely jealous.

“Can you go on video?” Alex asks you, a little out of the blue, ”I’ve got something to show you.”

“Course,” You say, heading over to your laptop which is already open on Skype. “What is it?”

“I got a new haircut. Want your opinion,” Your best friend tells you and you're certain you can hear his smile.

“Ooo okay I’m excited,” You grin, “Let me video call you back on Skype now.”

You both say a quick bye knowing you’d be seeing each other again in a few minutes if Skype decided not to be temperamental today. And thankfully it was running smoothly.

“Holy shit,” You gasp when your best friend's face pops up on the screen with a '50s haircut.

Alex grins, “You like it?”

“Al, you look so good,” You say with a hand over your mouth.

“You think?”

“Yeah” You nod. ”It really suits you.”

“Wow,” You say a little shell shocked, ”I’m actually astounded. You don’t look like yourself.”

“Jesus, I didn’t know you hated my old hair so much,” Alex says, running a hand through his slicked back hair and you love the way it flips back into place.

You scorn and then compliment him, “Don’t be stupid, you just look amazing Alex… You look like Danny from Grease.”

That was the idea, but he wouldn’t be telling you that. Definitely not now.

“Do I?” Alex asks pretending like he didn’t get his hair cut in this style because he already knew you’d like it.

“Yeah,” You grin, ”I think I’ll be getting you a T Birds jacket for Halloween.”

“Only if you’ll be Sandy,” Your best friend says with raised eyebrows.

You chuckle and nod, “I’m down.”

“Y/N/N,” You hear and then see Matt come on screen.

“Hey Helders,” You grin, “How’s it going?”

“Oh not too bad, thanks,” The drummer tells you, “What do you think about this idiot's hair?”

You grin as you tell him honestly, “I love it.”

The rest of the lands end up filtering into the call about ten minutes after Matt sat himself down next to Alex. Once pleasantries were exchanged and you had a quick catch up with them, you all got down to business.

You had to make some more merch for them. The new logo ones were selling like crazy, plain ones and ones with the American flag on it. But most importantly they were filming the new videos whilst in America this time around and you knew more merch would be required for that.

You had a scheduled three hour call with them which you were glad about because it meant that you could catch up with your best mates, get creative, and get paid for it. It was a win, win, win situation.

You’re about two hours into your call when you’re interrupted. You shouldn’t really have been surprised but thankfully it wasn’t the end of the world.

You were just talking to your friends at the end of the day.

“Oi, Wheels,” You hear your boyfriend open up your bedroom door.

“Curly, can you fuck off a minute, I’m on the phone,” You say out of habit not even looking up from the motorbike you were trying to draw.

Alex and the other lads have to stop themselves from laughing loudly.

“You’re meant to be doing your work, not on your phone,” Matty says, stalking into the room some more and he flicks on your bedroom light.

You hadn’t even realised it had gone dark because you had the lamp on at your desk. It was nearing 10 p.m. for you now, not that it was a problem for you to be working that late.

Obviously the lads touring schedule came first and you worked around them. It had been quite nice having a quiet evening talking to them as you designed new things.

“Well I’m on the phone to who I’m working with so…” You trail off smiling a little as you finish off drawing the bike.

Matty seems to realise his mistake then and he loudly whispers, “What you working on?”

You chuckle a bit as you finish the drawing and look up at your boyfriend for the first time and sarcastically whisper back loudly, "You know you’re whispering loudly so that defeats the purpose of whispering.”

All of the Monkeys chuckle at your sass then.

Matty just rolls his eyes before asking in a normal voice, apparently not caring anymore, “What are you working on Wheels?”

“The new merch for Suck It And See,” You smile before looking back down to the mass of drawings you’d just done.

“Ah, is that Turner?” Matty asks, pushing himself off the wooden doorframe.

“It is,” You grin, looking back at your Monkeys on your laptop.

“Hiya mate,” Matty says as he wraps his arms around your neck and leans down a little in hopes the camera will see him.

Alex smiles and asks, “You okay Healy?”

“Yeah, great thanks. Like your hair man, looks good,” Your boyfriend compliments and you smile.

“Thanks,” Alex grins, running a hand through the side of it, “Spur of the moment decision yesterday.”

Matty nods understandingly before resting his head on your shoulder. He grins and hugs you a little tighter as he says, “Looks like this weekend has been full of big decisions.”

“And Alex made the biggest of us,” You jokingly grin but before Matty can correct you, you ask the lads, “How’d the crowd react?”

“Oh half were shell shocked and the others didn’t shut the fuck up,” Jamie told you which caused you to laugh.

“You, if I cut my hair,” Matty said, nudging your head with his and you immediately agreed.

“True…” But then you say to the lads on Skype, “And I’m not surprised they reacted like that, I’m still shocked. It really suits you though Al.”

“Does,” Matty nods in agreement.

“Just in time for the music videos,” Alex grins back at you, knowing how excited you were for them.

“Speaking of which...” You say patting Mattys arm so he breaks his loving headlock, “Merch needs to be made for, so Curly I need you to go.”

“Woah,” Matty fakes being a little offended, ”I just got here.”

“Yeah and you knew I was working, so it’s lucky you even got a hug because you’d have been turned away at the door if it was anyone else I was speaking to.” You say in a strict tone and Alex can’t help but silently laugh at what he witnesses on the computer screen in front of his band.

“Thought boyfriend status meant I could spend more time with you?” Matty scoffs. ”But now I’m being turned away.”

You roll your eyes and gently push him towards the door, “I’ve got four other men who need me right now… Go bother Adam and I’ll get you when we’re finished.”

“Sounds like you’re doing a sex show,” Matty chuckles as your jaw drops, “And I would stay for it but I’m sure they are paying you good money so I’ll leave you to it.”

You both hear the Monkeys laugh through your laptop but you just shake your head at your boyfriend, “You’re disgusting.”

Matty chuckles but traps you in another loving headlock to say goodbye. And to annoy you too.

“Bye guys,” Matty waves to your mates, “Hope you’re having a good time wherever you are.”

“Texas,” The drummer informs him.

“Oooo,” Matty says enthusiastically, “Bring us a cowboy hat home?”

You immediately shake your head, “No, don’t.”

“Get out,” You say, pushing your boyfriend off you then.

“Cya guys,” Matty shouts back waving a bit but you’re still pushing him from your seat.

It makes Alex laugh seeing you try your hardest to get him to go.

“Bye,” All of the Monkeys say.

Alex’s heart sinks a little as he watches Matty kiss your head before he disappears from the camera angle.

You sigh as Matty takes his time to leave. But he’s being cute so you don’t actually complain too much about it.

As he leaves, you can’t help but smile. He gives your hand a squeeze too and keeps ahold of it as he slowly retreats out of your room.

Matty does this until it’s only your little fingers hooked around the other. His bare one that adorns his black nail polish and yours that holds your Death Ramps ring.

Matty blows you another kiss as your fingers fall from each other’s, and he closes the door behind him. You smile before turning back to your Monkeys.

“Sorry about him,” You shake your head running a hand through your hair.

“You’re good Y/N, don’t worry,” Matt assures you. “What can you expect? Mancs walking in unwanted everywhere.”

You can’t help but giggle at that, “True.”

You look down at your drawings again and you get back to official business quickly.

“Right now… Do we want Death Ramps ring merch or not?” You ask, showing them yours.

Alex loves the sight of you still wearing it.

“Nah,” Alex shakes his head, ”I think we keep that to just us.”

“Okay, that’s cute,” You grin and you try and think of a few different accessories you could possibly come up with.

You get an idea then and you say “What about…” But then stop yourself seeing Alex on your screen. You can’t help but ask, “Did you just comb your hair?”

It was something you’d never thought you’d see. Your best friend doing the Grease style of combing his hair before twisting the little strands that lay on his forehead into a curl.

It astounded and shocked you.

“Yeah,” Alex says, a little confused, like he didn’t know if he was being told off or not.

“Ahhhhh,” You squeal, “Who are you and what have you done with my Alex?”

“He went to a barber and they cut all his hair off,” Your best friend answers in third person and you couldn’t help but giggle.

The call went on for an hour more until you’d been over everything domino asked of you and all that is left to do is say bye to your friends and let them get to soundcheck.

“Okay I’ve got everything. I’ll draw some stuff up and I’ve also thought of something as a surprise for you.”

“Oooo exciting,” Alex grins, taking the piss a little bit he knows you’ll know he’s joking.

You chuckle as you say, “I knowww.”

After goodbyes are exchanged you and Alex set a date and a time to call each other again as the long week you’d gone without doing felt like a lot. But you made sure to get the designs done as soon as possible.

A month later, the designs made it to the Monkeys and Alex was the last to look over them. He’d been sleeping more than usual so he’d missed the other lads looking through it all.

They all seemed happy about it all though so Alex doubted he’d have any reservations about what he was going to see.

He was just excited for the surprise you couldn’t stop going on about.

And when Alex found it, he couldn’t contain his laugh. When he scrolled to the bottom of the document, there was a white comb that had Suck It And See on the side of it.

Alex loved it, but he loved the note you attached to the side of it too and it seemed to be just attached for him.

‘SIAS is the word’

~*~*~*~ November 2011 ~*~*~*~

“George, I need you to get a girlfriend,” You tell him, studying his face intently.

George frowns at you then and asks, “Why?”

He thought it was really random of you to say that. Especially when the conversation had been about all of you doing a secret Santa for Christmas on top of your normal presents.

Currently in your flat was him, you, Matty, Ross, Adam, Y/B/F, and Alex had just gone out for a fag on your fire escape. Matt, Miles, Jamie, and Nick were coming later on and bringing food with them.

“I need someone to do your eyebrows,” You say, still looking at your boyfriend's best friend.

A monobrow was starting to form and you desperately needed him to sort it out. You’d only noticed it about ten minutes ago but now you’d seen it, you wanted it gone.

“Why do I need a girlfriend when I have you?” George grins, putting an arm around the black of the settee and it was almost like an invitation to tuck yourself under his arm.

You didn’t hesitate to actually do it. You lean into George’s body and wrap an arm around his waist, and as you cuddle yourself into him you say, “You’ve always got me G.”

You feel him kiss the top of your head then which you find very adorable and you love him a little more because of it. You were just a sucker for affection, what could you say?

You stay like that for a minute, not prompting him to let you attack him with tweezers again as you were enjoying leaning into him. George had definitely grown into himself over the years.

He was tall, attractive, a musician, and he had the deep voice to top it all off. It was no secret to any of your Manchester lot that you thought George was attractive.

After getting with Matty, you’d obviously spent the summer with him and it had been amazing. You loved him a hell of a lot and the day you ended up telling each other on the skatepark was one of your happiest days with him so far.

And whilst you did love your boyfriend with the whole of your heart, you could still appreciate those around you, just like he could. The fact that you thought George was good looking came out when you and Matty had come back to your flat for his week off work and Y/B/F was finally back off her festival tours.

The Monkeys were still on tour for another month so it was just you, her, and Matty. She obviously knew about you and Matty getting together as she phoned you as soon as she had a second of free time after seeing your instagram post.

She was beyond happy for you, knowing how much you liked him, but that didn’t stop a night of the three of you admitting a lot of different things in drunken giggles.

Your biggest reveal was that you thought George was attractive, Matty’s had been that he had a massive crush on Jane Fonda who used to be in his Mum’s workout videos. But the most but least shocking was that Y/B/F fancied the fuck out of your cousin.

The release of that information seemed to fall at the correct time because before Y/B/F went on her tour, Adam and Rebecca had split. Adam was down about it for a while until the boys got him back out there, but seeing him and Y/B/F interact with each other in your flat now made you really happy.

They were flirting which you thought was cute and you could see your best friend getting all flustered sitting next to him in the loveseat in your flat now.

George brings you out of your thoughts and asks, “You doing them then?”

You sit up a little bit more and look up at the boy you’re leant against and ask a little shocked, “You’ll let me do your eyebrows.”

“If you like,” He grins at you and you sit up almost immediately with an excited look on your face.

You decide to tease the tall boy though, “You gunna be a girl and cry on me?”

“Shut up or I won’t let you do them,” George tells you and you giggle standing up.

You head towards your room then and when George notes that you're smiling like an idiot he takes the piss of you slightly. You turn back into your room and shout to him, “Stop taking the piss, I’m allowed to be excited.”

You loved pampering someone else. It always made your day when Matty let you paint his nails or wash his hair in the shower.

“What’s got you in such a good mood?” Alex startles you a little as he’s climbing back through your window from the fire escape.

You spin around to your best friend and smile knowing you weren't being burgled, you’d just forgotten he’d gone for a cigarette. You walk towards him as the tweezers are with your makeup in a bag on the shelf under your bedside table, near where he was standing.

“I get to do people’s eyebrows,” You grin, knowing you’d bully Matty into letting you do this too and probably the other boys too.

You reach down and quickly grab your tweezers out of the bag as your best friend says playfully teasing you, “You are so easily impressed, aren’t you?” and he’s grinning like an idiot.

“Well fuck me, didn’t realise I wasn’t allowed to find joy in the simple things Al,” You tease him straight back and bring your hand up to tap the side of his freshly shaven face, “Not all of us get treated by royalty from thousands of horny fans.”

“They aren't all horny,” Alex comes back with, as you head back towards your bedroom door.

The both of you laugh as you make your way back out to your other friends. You collar George immediately and you’re sat on the arm of the settee with George’s head trapped between your hands as you start plucking hairs from the middle of his eyebrows.

You bet yourself that he wouldn’t last two minutes without complaining and you owe yourself a drink filled with alcohol as your prize because you don’t even think he made it a minute.

“Y/N,” George seethes after he flinches away from you after you got a few hairs at once.  

“George, shut up and stop moving,” You say, moving his head with a little force back around towards you so you could continue.

It was probably another 30 seconds of him biting his tongue before he complained again.

“That fucking hurt,” George says practically glaring at you and you could already tell he’d never let you do this again.

You roll your eyes and say back with just as much sass, “And you’re a fucking wimp.”

George makes sure to bite his tongue after that and finally after another two minutes of George just grim and bearing the pain of you removing hair after hair, you’re finally done.

“You look so much better, oh my,” You grin, tilting his head from side to side.

George just grumbles a ‘thanks’ before he gets up off the settee, rubbing his head, and stalks to your boyfriend who's getting himself a drink in the kitchen, no doubt to complain. You just giggle a little at him being a softie and then you look for your next victim.

“Right, who’s next?” You ask looking around the males who surround you.

The closest to you is your best greaser friend who’s standing by your lounge window looking out at the sunset. What a very Alex thing to do, you thought.  

“Al,” You grin as you stand up and head to your best friend.

He turns to you and lowers his beverage just letting you have your fun. He already knew how excited you were about doing George’s so he would be a really shit best friend if he didn’t let you carry on.  

Alex grins at you and lowers himself to your height so you could get a good look at the middle of his brows. You tilt Alex’s head to towards and away from the window so you could assess him with good lighting.

And you seem to like what you see.

“Can tell you’ve been on tour,” You grin at him, tilting his face back towards you. “Not a hair out of place.”

Alex smiles at you then and shrugs as he stands himself up straight again. You take note of his hair being in pristine condition and you can’t stop yourself from saying, “I’d like a Suck It And See comb by the way.”

You knew that the first shipment of them had already gone out as the combs only took four weeks to make whilst the tops took six weeks. That and you’d also seen videos of Alex on stage combing his hair with them during a break between songs.

Alex chuckles a little at your request before reaching inside his denim jacket to pull it out for you. He was fairly certain he hadn’t used this one yet, he’d just put it in his jacket before leaving his flat not too long ago.

You grin like a child receiving their first Christmas present of the year then and Alex can’t help but grin at you.

“Thank you,” You say before ruffling his hair. He unfortunately catches your wrist giving you a disapproving look.

You smirk at him and give him a cheeky smile before he releases his hold on your wrist. You were looking at each other as if to dare the other to continue, and whilst you wanted to you also didn’t want him to get grumpy with you.

So you politely bring the comb up to his hair and drag it through his now considerably shorter locks with ease. You push it all back at both sides and once that’s done you pluck the strands in the middle that were begging to flop over his forehead, and twist them into a curl.

After you’re done with Alex, you tuck the comb into the back pocket of your jeans and find someone else to pamper, or as George would call it, torture. Ross’ were shockingly good and didn’t need touching at all which made you curious as to how and why they were that neat.

You had a sneaky feeling that he’d been seeing someone for the last month you were in Manchester but you didn’t want to ask until you had substantial evidence to back your claims. This was something to certainly add to the case file.

“I’ll do Adam’s,” Y/B/F said and you playfully rolled your eyes before giving her the tweezers.

Apparently he was pretty much okay though, it was just a loose strand here and there that needed removing. Before you knew it the tweezers were back in your hand and there was only one last person to pamper.

“Are you going to let me touch you today?” You grin at your boyfriend who’d just taken a seat on your three seater settee that no one else inhabited.

Alex was on a beanbag and Ross was next to him on the other one. They were both watching the football on TV religiously so weren’t really paying you much attention.

Adam and Y/B/F were too infatuated with each other to care about you and your boyfriend and you think George was still hiding in the kitchen from you.  

“Don’t I let you touch me every day?” Matty asks playfully with a grin on his lips.

“Alright then big boy,” You roll your eyes at him before you straddle his waist so you can be comfy as you fix the patch of skin at the top of his nose.

When you settle in his lap Matty smirks at you and you can’t help but grin back at him knowing exactly what was running though his mind. To be kind to him you lean down and give him a quick kiss which he tries to continue but you shake your head.

You pull away smiling as you say, “You can have more when I’ve fixed your face.”

“Thought you said I had a pretty face,” Matty pouts a little and you giggle.

“Yeah, well maybe it will be even prettier once I’m done with you,” You joke and Matty’s lips move silently as he mimics your words with a disinterested expression.

You smile, amused by his antics and Matty rests his hands on your hips when he sighs, “We will see.”

And see you do. Because you soon realised you’re surrounded by a room full of wimps.

“George is right, that does fucking hurt,” Matty says, rubbing the spot that you’d just plucked the first hair from.

You roll your eyes giggling a bit, “You’re all a load of pussies.”

Matty frowns at you a little then, before he starts dictating, “Think I should get a kiss each time you hurt me.”

“I think you should man up,” You say trying to stop the backchat.

It may be selfish but you just wanted to pluck his eyebrows and get on with the rest of the evening.

You’re about to bring the tweezers back to his face when he pulls back and whines, “Just give me a kiss.”

You let out something between a scoff and an amused sigh as you say, “You’re such a needy bastard,” shaking your head a little.

You just want to get back to your work so you kiss him, intending for it to be a quick one. Matty chuckles into the kiss but you again pull away when he tightens his grip on your hips.

After that you peck him every time he complains just to shut him up. Something which you of course didn’t mind doing, but it spurred him on to do it more often until it was a constant.

You felt like you were playing Operation and the buzzer was constantly going off.

“Ow ow ow ow ow ow,” Matty started repeating louder and louder with a smile on his lips, quite clearly not in as much pain as he claimed to be in.

You lean in to kiss him again but this time when you do, you keep your lips on his as you say, ”Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut upppp.”

Matty laughs at that but after you return to normal and you pluck one more hair out, Matty whines, “Ow,” again and when you go to kiss him again Matty has other ideas.

He pulls the comb out of your back pocket, not wanting to break it as he quickly maneuvers you so you were lying across your three seater settee on your back and Matty was hovering above you. Matty drops the comb to the floor for the moment before he pouts down at you.

“That hurt,” Matty tells you and you can’t help but laugh at his blatant lie.

“I’m sorry,” You pouted at him knowing it really didn’t. He just had a flair for the dramatic.

“You will be,” Matty says before dipping his head down to yours.

Matty loves to trap you in kisses in compromising positions and he especially likes it when people can see you. But you’d grown used to him showing you off in front of the boys.

The boys could ignore it for a little while but Alex couldn’t. Alex had looked away from the TV, and to the two of you every few seconds after Matty had started getting loud.

And when he looked again this time to see the change in position, his heart sank more and more each time he glanced back. It was almost like he had to keep checking to make sure it was real, and unfortunately it was.

He didn’t like that your hands were around Matty’s neck, holding him down so he couldn’t escape the kiss. It was a tell of yours when you were feeling a little needy.

And even though Alex hadn’t kissed you as many times as Matty had at this point, he still knew. Alex wanted that feeling again of you trying to prolong a kiss.

If Alex was above you now instead of your boyfriend, he would be teasing you until you were releasing soft sounds for him. He replayed events on the tour bus from all those years ago and he wished he could go back to those days.

Even back to the day after you first slept together. Your kisses had always been amazing and Alex could get lost in the memories of them if he let himself.

But he couldn’t. Instead it was Alex who was trapped watching the happy couple get off with each other.

His heart truly broke when he saw you pull on Matty’s hair enough for him to pull away for a moment to tell him quietly, “I love you Matty.”

At that point Alex had to take a swig of his beer and force his eyes away from the two of you and back around to the football. He pretended like he didn’t hear how genuinely you’d said that to your boyfriend and he pretended like Matty didn’t call you ‘Sweetheart’ and say it back to you with just as much emotion laced in his voice.

Alex pretended like he couldn’t hear you kissing each other again. In fact, Alex only glanced back at the two of you when George came back out of the kitchen and scorned you both, “Get off each other. You animals.”

Matty went to pull away then, but you just wanted a tiny bit more. So as the curly haired guy went to pull away, you bit on his bottom lip pulling him back down to give you another kiss, which Matty gladly did.

And watching that hurt Alex more than he would ever care to admit.

~*~*~*~ 25 April 2012 ~*~*~*~

As it turned out, you weren’t the only thing to bring both bands together. Apparently when Adam and Alex had started chatting after the last time they saw each other and they’d mentioned you forcing them to watch the Marvel films with you over the past few years.

Despite them both taking the piss out of you for it, they did actually both like the films, and when you’d arranged with Alex to go and watch the Avengers Assemble midnight showing Adam got jealous. He claimed that you couldn’t force him to watch all the films and then go see the new one without him.

So that was how both bands ended up in your flat, having a Marvel marathon before the biggest crossover film to date happened. You’d set the whole thing up making sure that there were enough seats for everyone.

You’d dragged the double mattress from the spare room out and it lay in the middle of the floor. People could lie on it that way and not be too uncomfortable whilst watching.

You’d also bought a few new and comfier beanbags, and you obviously had your three seater sofa and the love seat. So you all have quite a lot of room to chill out.

Halfway through the day Miles had shown up which you were pleased about, you were glad he could make it. You hadn’t seen him for a while.

So in the end, it ended up being both bands, Miles, you and Y/B/F. You’d be taking up a full row at the cinema later on.

The only downer to the day was that it was fucking boiling in your flat with all the bodies in it and becuase it seemed like Britain was having an early summer this year.

You ended up having to find a fan you’d hidden away and bring it into the lounge to attempt to cool you all down. You also tried by opening all the windows in your flat and the doors, apart from your front one, to keep the air flowing.

You’d all congregated in your flat earlier in the day to watch the previous films in the series. Around noon you all showed up and got the marathon underway.

You all easily sat through Iron Man and Incredible Hulk. It was Iron Man 2 that you all got a bit hot during because it was really stuffy in your flat. Thankfully though as you sat through Thor and the sun started setting and the temperature started going down.

So when you reach the end of Thor, you’re getting pretty cold sitting next to Matty in the loveseat. And you’d gotten cold enough that you’d started shivering, your legs were shaking and you couldn’t really stop them.

So you decided that when the film finished you would go and replace your denim shorts for your joggers and throw on a hoodie over your vest top. Whilst you did that, you would also start closing the windows too.

When you averted your eyes from the TV during the last few minutes of the film you smiled seeing your home full of your friends.

Y/B/F and Adam were cuddled together on the beanbags for two, on the opposite side of the room to you and Matty. Just near them was Jamie on another beanbag but he gave the couple a bit of space.

Miles, Alex and Nick were sitting on your three seater settee, and on the mattress you had George closest to you lay on his front, Matt who’d copied George, and Ross who used the front of the sofa as a place to rest his back.

You’d all swapped who was on the mattress throughout the day so it was fair but you were pretty comfy where you were now. Apart from you being freezing cold because you were still in your shorts.

Thankfully though, the credits started rolling and all you now had to wait for was the post-credit scene.

Matty notices your shivering legs as they are bobbing up and down against his own. He decides to question if you were just anxious about something or just to see if it was the temperature that was causing this reaction.

“Are you cold?” Matty asks, putting one of his hands over your shaking legs.

When he did that, he didn’t really need you to answer because you were cold to touch. Having his warm hand on your thigh was lovely for you though.

“Yeah,” You nod, “I am still wearing my shorts though, that’s why.”

Everyone’s attention was now drawn to your shaking legs, something which you tried to stop. But the shivering phenomenon didn’t stop until Matty started teasing.

Matty smirks at you then, “Was going to say... Your legs usually shake like that for an entirely different reason.”

“Matty,” Your jaw drops at him saying that around the other company you were in.

Helders starts laughing and George does too which you aren’t surprised by, but your face goes hot anyway. Jamie tries to hold in his laugh and Ross covers his smiling face with his hand.

Nick, Adam, and Alex are just watching with unamused faces. Whilst Y/B/F and Miles are giggling like school girls and your face flames.

You stand up from your seat next to him, removing his hand from your thigh first, scorning him, “You know, you don’t have to actively embarrass me all the time?”

“Why not?” Matty pouts watching you get up, “I like it when your cheeks go all hot and you get flustered and stuttery.”

“Maybe I don’t wanna be flustered,” You tell him as you kneel down in front of the TV to change the film. Trying your hardest not to look at him so your face would cool down.

Suddenly you didn’t care about the post credit scene, you just needed something to do so you didn’t let embarrassment take over. You’d all seen it before anyway, they knew it was Loki showing up again when they showed the Tesseract with Eric Selvig.  

You could still hear George laughing, now behind you, and he only gets worse when he has to shove his face into the mattress when Matty replies, “I’ll remind you of that when you're gagging for it later.”

You scoff as you crouch down and get the Thor DVD out of the player.

You frown when you tell him, your hot cheeks leaving, being replaced with you being sassy, “Hun, don’t flatter yourself. My fingers work just as well.”

Alex smiles at you responding like that. He knew that you were one to either get flustered quickly or tease straight back. And as he harboured the feeling that he did for you, he was pleased seeing that you were shooting Matty’s attempts down.

“Again, I will remind you of that later, Wheels,” Matty promises, his signature smirk adorning his face.

“Can you like… both not please,” Adam then interrupts before you get a chance to reply.

You glance back to Matty and fake a wince, whispering over to your boyfriend, “Brother Mine is getting squeamish, better stop.”

“Love you Ad,” You chirp back in a pleasant tone.

You abandon sorting the DVD out for a moment and you blow a kiss to him. He just pulls a face at you though.

“I don’t want you to blow me a kiss when you’ve just had that conversation,” Adam says a little disgustedly.

“Sorry bro,” You chuckle in jest, shrugging your shoulders as you search for the next DVD.

You couldn’t spot it on the shelf under your TV so you guess that you’d last watched it in your bedroom. You were also thankful that you could quickly change whilst you were in there.

“Y/N/N you make me piss,” George just starts laughing again behind you and you turn to look at the boy on the mattress.

“Why?” You ask with a smile.

When George was giggly, you didn’t know how anyone else couldn’t not be. You found his laughter infectious so you couldn’t keep the smile off your face as he spoke.

“Because you were morbidly embarrassed like thirty seconds ago and then you just flipped and gave him shit out of nowhere,” The dirty blonde haired boy grins.

You chuckle and stand yourself up and walk back to Matty, this time behind the loveseat though. You ruffle your boyfriend's curls as you say, “Gotta give him shit to keep him in line.”

“Whatever Sweetheart, I wasn’t hearing you complain last night,” Matty says looking up at you over the back of the sofa.

You mimic what he said in a squeaky high pitched voice to mock him before heading into your room for a second to remove your shorts and replace them with your grey joggers.

The room fills with a few laughs before a bit of chatter starts. You were gone a minute before the group saw you return.

When you stalk back out in your joggers and what Alex noticed to be your old Arctic Monkeys hoodie that you designed years ago, in your hand, he smiles. The only other thing Alex then did was try to zone out from the sex chatter.

Pining for your best friend didn’t really go down well when she already had a boyfriend and Alex had made no effort to make his feelings clear before it was too late. Alex wasn’t a home wrecker though, so he knew that he would just have to silently work his way through it.

You of all people deserved to be happy. And despite Alex’s reservations about Matty once upon a time, he was a decent guy who treated you well. So he really couldn't fault your boyfriend.

He was just jealous that Matty held that title instead of himself.

Alex was also a tad bitter that The 1975 boys now all had a flat together in Manchester, meaning that they stole you away from time to time. Alex couldn’t spend his weekends at home with you, but you were related to Adam and going out with Matty so it was a little difficult for Alex to even plead with you to stick around in Sheffield a bit more.

He was thankful they all seemed to want to travel to come and see you, because then at least Alex got to see you at the same time they did.

You walked back into the room, throwing the navy hoodie on that showed the Favourite Worst Nightmare version of the band name in white on the front. You also had the Captain America DVD in hand.

“Come up with a new joke. You’re not eighteen anymore,” You tell Matty, playfully hitting the back of his head on your way past.

“Wasn’t really a joke. I was being serious. It’s great when you get all desperate and shaky for me,” Matty smirks leaning forward in his seat.

Your cheeks flame at that and Alex can tell that there was truth behind what Matty was saying. Something which didn’t sit easy with him because he remembered when you were like that for him all those years ago. Even if it was just the two nights.

You sigh and roll your eyes to try and retain some superiority over the situation. You tell the curly haired brunette in a challenging sort of way, “Keep up the ‘sex god’ act and George can come to bed with me instead.”

Before either of the boys had a chance to reply, you were pulled backward onto the mattress by another male who says, “George can get in line.”

“Matt,” You giggle, leaning into his backward hug you were receiving.

That’s when you think of something else teasing to say, so you roll with it, “Oooo yeah, I could get my Matt’s confused...” You smirk when you catch your boyfriend's brown eyes, you add, “Accidentally of course.”

Matty just shrugs and leans back, half a smile on his lips, “Do what you like.”

“I will,” You grin before reaching behind you to play with Helders hair at the top of his head.

Matty’s smirk reappears when he fires back, “I’m not the one who’s gunna miss out. You just called me a sex god.”

You roll your eyes at him only picking that out of what you’d said. You just decide to play it further though.

“Maybe I’ll just grab a handful of the single boys in here and have some fun without you,” You suggest, removing your hand out of Matt's hair to gesture to the other men around you.

Currently single was Miles, Alex, Jamie, and George. You knew Matt had just started speaking to Breana properly so even though he was joking with you now, he couldn’t appear in your fake orgy.

You couldn’t even get Y/B/F to join you because she had the weird thing sort of going on with Adam. You were certain that within a month they would be together officially.

“Ever the tease Wheels,” Matty smirks before shaking his head, this time his tongue was also teasingly on show.

“You know what I’m like,” You grin with a raised eyebrow.

“You just wanna put the new film on now,” Alex sighs, interrupting the conversation before it could progress further.

“Oooo, sorry Shakespeare,” You say playfully, a little like you’ve been caught out for chatting by a teacher in school.

Alex says as he watches you get up out of Matt’s grip, “Just wanna make sure we see the next film before we go to the cinema.”

It was around 9:15 p.m. now and he knew this next film was around two hours long. He knew you’d want to be at the cinema before even the half an hour of adverts was due to start too.

So if anyone called him out on it, he could at least say he was just time conscious. Because he partly was, it was just the other half of him that wanted to stop the flirting from continuing.

“Don’t worry, we have plenty of time,” You smile as you glance back at him before putting Captain America: The First Avenger into the DVD player.

Alex's plan of no more flirting didn’t really work though. You were back to flirting with Matty as soon as your eyes landed on the DVD box.

“Also Matty,” You begin, “Anything happens later, I’ll be picturing Chris Evans, not you.”

Well at least Alex would be satisfied knowing it was the thought of someone else you’d think about tonight other than your boyfriend.

“As long as I get a free Scarlet Johansson pass,” Matty makes the counter offer of.

You grin at that as you close the DVD player. You stand up saying, “You wanna pretend I’m Black Widow? Go for it.”

You then giggle before clenching your fists and getting yourself into a fighting position in front of him saying, “I’ll kick your arse, too.”

Matty laughs before waving you off, “I’d happily let you.”

Matty knew all too well that when you play fought, it just lead to kissing and then later progressed to sex.

You abandon the pose before asking Ross if he wanted to swap seats with you. Ross agrees immediately and scrambles up off the mattress to sit next to Matty.

Helders then politely asks you if he could sit in Ross’ spot so he could have his back against the settee to give him some more support. Something which you said yes to and you plonked yourself down in the middle of the mattress.

You collect some scattered pillows from around you so you could make yourself comfy when you eventually lay down. However, Y/B/F adds to your previous conversation.

“I was getting Cornerstone vibes from the two of you just then,” Y/B/F grins from her seat next to Adam.

You laugh at that and glance at Alex for a second. He was smiling ever so slightly at the comment too.

“Well it’s something we’ve all done,” You hear Matty say when you look at your best friend again. Matty adds though, “Not asked it per say but definitely thought it.”

“Thought about someone else have we?” You turn back looking towards your boyfriend.

“Thought about you with someone else, yeah,” Matty says in the wrong way.

You laugh at him saying it wrong and at everyone looking at him a little shocked. You knew he just phrased it incorrectly though, but that didn’t mean you weren’t going to tease him for it.

“Who’ve you been picturing me with? I’m quite intrigued now. Anyone I know?” You smirk and Matty flips you off.

“Shut the fuck up. You know I meant that I’ve thought about you whilst I was with someone else,” Matty says with narrow eyes.

Ah, a statement that Alex could finally agree with.

“Yeah yeah yeah,” You tease. “But I can’t say I agree with your statement.”

“What do you mean?” George asks you curiously.

“Well whenever I’ve had sex I always wanted it to be with the person I was doing it with. So in reality I can’t say I have thought about anyone else,” You tell him.

“Can’t relate to that Y/N,” Miles says and you laugh.

But then you look at your best friend who wrote the song himself and ask, “Great song though... You ever gunna to tell us her name?”

Alex could feel eyes on him then. From six people who didn’t know and from another four who had enough context to know that the girl it was about, was the one who asked the question.

“Yeah, she‘s called Press Play,” Alex says looking up from you to the TV screen that’s now waiting to start.

You roll your eyes at him then before getting yourself back up to sort the film out.

“Tease,” You mutter.

Chatter picks back up a little as they wait for your DVD player to unfreeze on the TV and to start playing the film. In that time though Matty must have gotten sentimental as he takes your attention up once more.

“Wheels,” Matty calls after a moment’s silence between the two of you.

“Yeah?” You answer absentmindedly as you press play on the player a few more times.  

You couldn’t find the remote to save your life. You then move yourself back onto the comfy mattress and lie yourself down on your front like George was.

You were careful not to kick Alex’s feet that were somewhere behind you though.

Matty tells you, “I love you.”

You grin and turn to look at him, abandoning messing with the pillows a second. You grin before telling him, “I love you too, Curly.”

You share a genuine smile then, both knowing the last ten minutes had just been some playful banter. You truly did love him. He made you so much better and you’d like to think that you made him better too.

The room was now filled with mindless chatter amongst most of the group. Jamie is chatting to Adam and Y/B/F, Ross is now in what was your seat as he shares some words with Jamie and you think you can hear Miles and Alex chatting too.

Despite the genuine smile you share, you see Matty’s playful side return, along with a teasing look that means you knew he’d just thought of something else to say.

“By the way Sweetheart,” Matty says, keeping your attention on him.

Your boyfriend had that much of a loud mouth though that he accidentally demands more than just your attention. Others listen to him trying to get you flustered again.

“You said your fingers worked just as well as I do, so have fun later.”

“Like I said you can sleep out here, George can come with me,” You grin at Matty before you flop yourself down on top of George’s large frame.

Great. So Alex is jealous of both Matty and George now.

The drummer once again starts laughing and the vibrations of him doing so beneath you cause you to start giggling. His laughter was definitely infectious.

Your laugh seems to cause the whole room to smile. That was one of the things Alex really liked about you, no matter the setting or what was going on around you, you somehow had the ability to capture people’s attention.

Something that obviously hadn’t really played in his favour because he wasn’t with you now in the dynamic like he wanted to be. But in your group of close knit friends that were here now, all of them were smiling upon hearing your laughter.

You were just infectious. Impossible not to like or get along with.

You also add, “Didn’t know your right hand was named Scarlet Johansson either.”

His cheeks go a little red then, calling him out for which hand he wanked with. He shook his head at you, once again sharing a grin before everyone got invested in the film.

About half way through, you felt like your spine was curving too much for your liking, so you decided you needed to change positions. You pick yourself up off your front before trying to find a free spot of the settee behind you to lean your back on.

All you found though were three sets of jean covered legs. You had no clue how all the guys in here hadn’t been boiling earlier on.

You shuffle backwards just enough until you reach Alex’s legs. When you do you look round at the man with the '50s hair and smile like a child who was after a treat.

His eyes are already fixed on you when you half whisper, “Can I please lean against your legs?”

Alex smiles at you before nodding. You mouth a ‘thank you’ back along with a grateful smile and grab your pillows from near George’s head, to put them back against Alex’s legs so you can lean back against them comfortably.

The pillows don’t quite reach the top of Alex’s knees so instead of messing about with the pillows more, you shuffle yourself down a bit so your head is lent back against them.  

You also put all your hair up into a ball on the top of your head for the moment, hoping it will just stay out of your way whilst you watch Sebastian Stan and Chris Evans in soldiers uniforms.

It stays there for about five minutes until it slowly unwraps itself and ends up on Alex’s lap. A year ago Alex would have played with the ends of it, wanting to be affectionate with you in a way that was allowed back then.

But you’d been with Matty almost a year now and despite you both still being really close, Alex knew that he had to get over you one way or another. And refraining from playing with your hair was definitely a step in the right direction.

Another step was to actually reply to the girl he sort of liked who he’d exchanged numbers with at one of gigs not long ago. Alex roots in his jeans pocket for his phone then and once he pulls it out he goes straight to his messages from Arielle.

Alex had been interested when he met her after his gig and some flirting had happened between them straight away. He had stayed in contact with her thinking it could maybe go somewhere if he sorted his head out sooner rather than later.

Alex texts Arielle and he’s a little happy seeing that she texts him back almost instantly. After about half an hour of texting though, you must have felt the vibration of his phone because you turn to look at your best friend and ask, looking him straight in the eye, “Who’s this that you’re texting?”

“Arielle”

“Who’s Arielle?” You twist around fully and grin, your jaw also hanging open a bit at the news.

The other Monkeys had told you about a girl that Alex was getting close with in America, a PA at Focus Creeps (the company who make their music videos), whilst filming and on their latest short tour, but you're sure her name wasn't Arielle. This new girl was really news to you.

Feeling a little caught out, Alex says, “No one.”

“Can’t be no one if you’re texting her,” You grin and you ask excitedly, “Can I see?”

Once Alex nods, you get yourself up and slot yourself down between him and Nick. There’s not a lot of room so you slot one of your legs over and between Alex’s, and excited to look at his phone.

You watch as a few texts come in and you watch Alex’s replies as he pretty much flirts back with her over text. It's really cute, and you’re really happy for your best friend who seems a little eager to text this girl.

“Awh,” You coo quietly, seeing this Arielle say that she couldn’t wait to see your best friend again soon.

You’re sure you see Alex go a little red at that. But you don’t tease him, you just watch as he types his adorable reply out and once it’s sent off you whisper, “I’m so happy you’re speaking to someone.”

Yep, Alex was definitely going red.

“Is she pretty?”

Alex murmurs, “I’ll show you.”

So far the conversation had been pretty hushed as you wanted him to keep his privacy. But as soon as he opened up her instagram your jaw was on the ground. She was fucking stunning.

“Fucking hell Al, she’s well fit,” You tell him with wide eyes as you take the phone off him to stalk her Instagram account some more.

“Y/B/F,” You say, completely taken aback by this stunner. As soon as your other best friend abandons the TV to see you, you hand her  “Look at this fitty Alex has pulled.”

“Fuck me,” She says with her jaw on the ground. She looks back up to Alex after she scrolls some more, “How the hell have you managed that one?”

Alex just shrugs before saying, “I haven’t. We’re just chatting.”

“Just chatting my arse, you don’t text someone during a film for the fun of it. I remember looking at my phone during The Green Mile and you gave me so much shit for it,” You scorn him.

Alex just frowns and defends his past actions, “You hadn’t seen it before.”

“Details,” You wave him off taking the phone back off Y/B/F.

As that happens though another text from the stunning Arielle comes through and because everyone heard the notification go off, all your friends seem to be waiting for details. You accidentally read over the cute message but you take note of how it ends as you give your best friend his phone back.

“She sent three kisses,” You grin at him and Alex looks at you a little confused as to why that was important.

He didn't understand at all why you were grinning like a Cheshire Cat. They’d been sending a few kisses back and forth ever since they started talking.

Matty informs Alex what 3 kisses means though.

“Alex you’re game. She wants your dick,” Matty grins and you start giggling.

Alex’s eyes, however, go wide, “Since when was three kisses code for dick?”

“Since 2007,” Matty slyly says and you shake your head at him.

“What’s four?” Helders asks your boyfriend curiously.

Matty grins, saying, “They are saying please.”

“Five?” Jamie questions, seeming just as curious.

Your boyfriend is just smirking when he says, “Begging.”

Matt laughs at Matty then, as do the rest of you do. But then Miles chirps in and says, “Let’s see your last texts, Healy. How much of all of those do you do?”

“You actually can't,” Matty says, glancing at you trying to hold your smile.

“Why?” Miles questions and your boyfriend just goes silent looking like he’s done something wrong.

You laugh knowing why he’s gone silent though, do you try and help him out a little and save him the embarrassment of telling your friends.

“I sent him a nude,” You say and everyone’s heads whips around to look at you.

Everyone’s shocked about it, apparently from one person.

Y/B/F gasps and asks, “The one you sent me?”

You nod and she grins, “That was fit as fuck.”

“I know,” You grin before looking back at your boyfriend.

Ross takes everyone’s attention back by asking, “Why’d you need to send him a nude if he was here last night?”

“I didn’t send it last night,” You say knowing it was the night before last and the texts after were just too dirty to think about surrounded by your friends.

Miles then questions, “Still though, why was that the last thing you sent him?”

“Because I phoned him yesterday morning asking what time he was coming over and I don’t need to text him whilst he’s sitting next to me,” You defend both of you.

It doesn’t seem to convince everyone in the room though. Matt questions your boyfriend, “So was it four or five kisses you sent before you received that?”

“She just sent it out of the blue,” Your boyfriend lies and you can't help but laugh at how easily it falls from his lips.

Alex wants to die listening to all of this. Texting Arielle was meant to be an escape but this was worse than just giving in and playing with your hair.

There were mumbles of doubt in the air and you confirm those doubts without any prompt.

“There were five kisses from Matty before I sent it, alright? I’m just not one to say no,” You say and Matty sticks his middle finger up at you which makes you laugh.

“I’m leaving,” Adam says, getting up and all of you burst out laughing.

~*~*~*~ May 2012 ~*~*~*~

Unfortunately some somber news came in 2012. A week after your movie night with everyone Matty got some bad news.

His Nana had been rushed into hospital and it wasn’t looking good. The news came as a complete shock to the system for the both of you as you’d only gone to see her a few weeks ago and she looked fit as a fiddle.

But when the both of you got to the hospital and saw her she looked so frail, it broke both of your hearts. There were a lot of sleepless nights full of worrying and hoping everything was going to get better.

Matty had faith in the man dressed in white who was looking after his Nana and he thought he might just save her life, but he couldn’t. Unfortunately, Matty’s Nana died after a few days in hospital.

Doctor came up and said he was trying his best with everything but the heartbreak came and never really went away.

You knew how much Matty loved his Nana and you’d go as far as to say it was more than he loved his Mum and Dad. He worshiped the ground she walked on and he always made every excuse to go and see her, even though the excuses weren’t needed.

So it was really no surprise that a few hours after the initial shock of her passing wore off, and Matty asked you for some time to himself, that he came back with the tattoo for her on his chest. Despite his Nana’s view on tattoos you knew that Matty had done it for her and for him, to always keep her close.

When he came back to his childhood home that night and found you waiting for him with Denise and the rest of his family, the tattoo surprisingly lifted Denise's mood even in the darkest of times.

“She would’ve hated it, Matthew,” Denise laughed before pulling her son into a tight embrace.

“I know,” Matty chuckles a little before tears start flowing once again.

Louis laughed in his little voice, “She’d have killed you Matty.”

“I know, I know,” Matty sniffed in a bit of a laugh before he pulled his little brother into a hug that you could tell he also desperately needed.

He hugged Tim afterwards and after a minute in his fathers arms, Matty wrapped around you. Your boyfriend broke down again after that which was no surprise given the situation. You were crying too, seeing your second family so upset and you were upset because of the loss too.

Matty cried in your arms in his childhood bedroom that night, and for a few nights after, and you soothed him as much as you could. You needed to be strong for him and you really tried your hardest.

Matty didn't like funerals at all as you knew he didn't believe in God, so when the talk of that started a few days after Annie’s passing, you noticed Matty always slipped himself out of the room. Sometimes he would pull you with him and you’d both escape up to his childhood bedroom or sometimes you’d watch as he removed himself quietly.

You gave him a while sometimes knowing he’d want his space and that was something that you did tonight. After about twenty minutes you excused yourself to go to the toilet, but afterwards you climbed the stairs and followed the music you could hear.

Leaning against his door frame you found your boyfriend strumming his guitar in a tune that you hadn’t heard before. You seemed to wander into his room as he finished off whatever song it was and after a second he put his guitar down and spotted you, all you could see were his red eyes full of tears and he looked ready to break down again.

The ball you felt in your throat was like nothing you’d felt before. Your heart was breaking and you knew his heart was broken. He loved her so much.

He wouldn’t have gone and got that gorgeous tattoo for her if he didn’t.

Matty just cried into you that night, like he’d done most nights before and you shed your tears for her too. His family had always welcomed you with open arms and Annie had been the nicest.

She treated you like you were her own. She always offered you some of her famous stew she loved making and she always put the kettle on even if you didn’t feel like having a brew when you and Matty arrived to see her.

She stuck to you like glue at Matty’s gigs and you loved her. She was the life and soul of the party, and was always the loudest cheering your boys along.

It was hard for you to believe that she was gone.

But when she went in front of you, Matty and Denise, it broke all of your hearts. Of course it broke Tim’s and Louis’ too, but Denise went out of the room after the initial shock of it to call him to tell him.

It broke your heart when Matty was clutching her hand that still showed off her gorgeous red nail polish, and he cried a multitude of different things to her. It took everything in you to not loudly sob as you rubbed his back as he got the things he wished he said out.

It was by far the most emotional either of you had ever been.

When Denise came back in and started doing a similar thing, Matty turned to you and just broke in your arms. He clutched you so tightly and you were certain your hold on him must have been just as tight.

You cried into each other's shoulders for a good ten minutes until Denise pried Matty away for a hug which she so desperately needed.

Of course, Denise needed the same at the funeral which was equally as hard. She was saying goodbye to her Mum, it was one of the hardest things she’d ever have to do.

Matty did amazing, and so did Louis. You sort of adopted the 11 year old boy that day and made sure he was okay.

There were tears on both your parts throughout the day, but at the wake you made sure he was okay. You kept his mind occupied and you were glad to see no more tears from him that day even though they were perfectly justified.

Matty welcomed Louis as being both of your distractions on that day. It made things so much easier for him, and the fact he had you and the guys here with him too helped more than he could ever express.

Unfortunately the bad news didn’t stop with the passing of Matty’s Nana either. The following month when Matty had gone home from the guys shared flat to check how his Mum was doing she told him some news that again shocked him to his core.

Denise had told him that she and Tim were getting a divorce. But it was a divorce that no one could speak about as both parties didn’t want the media to find out.

You rushed over to Manchester and to the boy’s shared flat when Matty rang you crying telling you that. It was again a heartbreaking situation because Matty was losing something else that had been a constant in his life but he had to pretend it wasn’t real.

But his pain was all too real.

Hearing Matty explain that his Mum and Dad weren’t in love with each other like you all thought they were, hurt both you and the band. Matty trying to explain what was said through his tears was again heartbreaking and it caused tears to run down your cheeks too.

Matty didn’t for a second deserve all this heartache, he really didn’t. If you could take it away, you would do it in a heartbeat.

Because seeing the person you love upset, hurt you just as bad.

You didn’t know how much more he could take. He was fragile and liked to bury every other emotion that wasn’t his love for you down to a place no one could find.

Of course, when Matty needed to he’d talk to you and sometimes when you asked him to open up about things he would do despite finding it difficult. He knew you were trying to help him and he appreciated you so much.

Especially in the last two months.

But he didn’t want his heartache to affect you. So Matty just hoped that the future was going to be a lot brighter than the present currently was.

~*~*~*~ 20th June ~*~*~*~

You were back in Sheffield now, after almost being in Manchester for a month. You rearranged your work as best you could and contacted your clients to explain and apologise for the delays whilst you were in Manchester and thankfully they were all fine with it.

But that meant that you were currently rushed off your feet. You’d been back a week and when Matty wasn’t here you were working well into the night, just wanting to get back on schedule.

So that was why when Alex called you randomly at 3 a.m. you were fine taking his call. You were currently designing an advertisement campaign for a new bakery that was opening up in the city centre and they had really pumped money into getting them out there. Thankfully they weren’t due to open till the middle of July so the push back didn’t matter so much.

Your best friend asked you, seeming a little drunk on the other end of the phone. “Y/N can you be in London near the end of July with this much notice?”

“Are you drunk or high?” You ask a little confused by the way his words were coming out of his mouth.

You hear him let out an exaggerated sigh and he asks you once more, controlling his voice better this time, “Can you be in London at the end of July or not?”

“London?” You ask, your eyebrows pulling together in confusion.

Alex confirms with a slur, “Yeah.”

“Thought you were doing festivals right through till the beginning of September? Why are you in London at the end of July?” You ask curiously getting your detective head on.  

You even go onto their website and see a long list of their upcoming festivals. You now notice a two week break at the end of July though and you’d have no idea why, as they had never mentioned coming home, or going to London.

“I can’t say,” Alex tells you.  

You frown, “What?”

You’re beyond confused. It doesn’t help that he’s most definitely drunk and high.

“I can’t say Angel but I really really want you there and I know you... You’ll kick yourself if you don’t come,” Alex tells you and you pull up your schedule on your computer.

“Can you move things?” Alex asks you after as you’re silently trying to work out how much work you could squeeze together in the space of a month.  

You feel like you’ll definitely need to work till the 20th of July so you hope he really does mean the end of July. You have to ask, “What date do you specifically need me for whatever it is?”

He informs you, “The 27th,” and after a few seconds when you open the day up on your calendar, Alex pleads softly, “Please tell me you can come?”

“Yeah I’ll sort it out,” You tell him knowing you’ll be able to get things finished by then and have a week or so off if he needs you that long.

Alex almost shouts down the phone, “Thank you Angel, thank you so much.”

After you tell him it's okay and that he needed to go to sleep because he sounded plastered. Thankfully he listened and you bid each other goodbye ten minutes later, promising to speak to each other properly tomorrow.

After he was off the phone though, you didn’t go to sleep straight away like you promised him. You put your imaginary detective hat on.

You decide to Google it to see what it could possibly be. The date had to have some significance for him to not be allowed to talk about it.

Your best friend told you everything, so the fact he couldn’t for some reason was intriguing to you.

So you had a search and the top result left your jaw on the ground.

London 2012 Olympics Opening Ceremony

~*~*~*~ 27th July ~*~*~*~

“I can’t do it.”

“Alex,” You sigh.

“Y/N I genuinely can’t do it,” Alex says and he holds his hand out in front of him after running them through his already pristine hair.

“I’m shaking,” Alex points out and he really was. He was shaking like a leaf. “You know me Y/N/N, I’m not like this.”

You take a hold of his hand and clutch it as you say, “I do know you Al and I know you’re gunna be fine.”

“I’m not. I feel sick,” He says, pulling his hand from yours and looking to the balcony.

He points at the view and the rest of the band outside. “Look at how many people are out there... And I’m going to ruin it all in fifteen minutes.”

You can see the thousands of fans and the opening ceremony already underway. It looked insanely intense because of the pressure of the grand show but your best friend had done Glastonbury and however many more shows.

This should be like a walk in the park. But your best friend looks like he’s about to faint.

“Alex, come here,” You grab his hand and pull him out of the box you were all in and into the corridor so he couldn’t see the thousands in the stadium.

You get him out and turn around to look at him once the door closes behind you. “Listen to me.”

His brown eyes are focused on your Y/E/C as you spoke. “You do over a hundred shows each time you go on tour and you’ve been on tour four times, Alex. Five if you wanna count the Puppets shows too. That’s over five hundred shows at the very least.”

You continue, “In all these shows you play like twenty different songs and you smash it every time… And today you’re only doing two. One of which you’ve sang at every gig for the last six years. And that’s just counting your proper tours, you were singing that song when I was just me and Y/B/F watching you.”

You take his hand again and squeeze it when you say, “You’re going to be fine. You’re going to smash it like you do at every gig Al.”

“You really think so?” He asks in the most vulnerable voice you’d heard from him in a long while.

You nod, “I know so Alex. You’re going to steal the show.”

He grins a little then and you’re smiling back like an idiot. He pulls you into a hug and his arms go around your shoulders and he squeezes you tight into his chest.

“Thank you Angel. Feel like I needed to hear that,” Alex says and you hug him the tiniest bit tighter.

“Anytime Shakespeare,” You say before kissing him on his cheek when you release each other from the hug.

You watch as he takes a deep breath then closes his eyes. You can tell how nervous he is as you genuinely hadn’t seen him like this for years.

He was always so confident about performing these days. The last time you’d seen him like this was at Glastonbury but he smashed that like you knew he’d smash this. You wish Arielle was here to reassure him too but you’d yet to meet her with her working so much.

Alex’s eyes open once more and he smiles at you. You assure him again, “You’re going to be fine.”

“Thank you,” He smiles.

A runner comes and calls him then and asks him to get the other lads which Alex does and you wait for him. The lads filter out one by one and you wish them luck on their way past you.

Alex is the last one to come out and he traps you in a hug again and you can once again feel his nerves. But you give him a tight squeeze before letting him go to try and help ease those nerves.

He’s ushered to follow the others then and he reluctantly let’s go of you.

“You’re gunna smash it, Shakespeare. Enjoy yourself,” You tell him as he walks backwards so he can still face you.

“I will try. Love you Angel,” He tells you and blows you a kiss.

“Love you Al,” You grin, pretending to catch it before you head back into the box to watch their part in Ceremony with Katie and Breana.

And five minutes later they blew you away. And not a trace of Alex’s nerves affected his voice.

He smashed it. Just like you knew he would.

~*~*~*~ 30th July 2012 ~*~*~*~

You spent a few days down in London with your Monkeys and you had a really nice time. You caught up like old times and you were really proud of them for doing amazing at the opening ceremony.

You really liked getting to know Breana over these few days too as you’d only met her briefly a few times. But after spending a good few days with her you thought her and Matt were perfect for each other.

You loved your whole little gang and you were happy they were all coming home for a bit. You were excited to see them for a few weeks before they had to go and finish the Suck It And See tour.

You all got off the bus at the yard and once the lads had all got a minibus to take them and their stuff home. You were thrilled that they offered you a lift back and getting out of the bus outside your building you promised them you’d see them all tomorrow.

Because of course, today was your anniversary. One year with Matty Healy.

Turning away from the bus after waving for a second as it drives off, you almost miss the very recognisable car that’s parked next to yours. Undeniably Matty’s car was parked next to yours which meant that the man himself must be in your flat.

You were a little shocked about seeing it there because you were meant to be getting back and immediately driving over to see him in Manchester.

So, it just made you want to rush up there even faster. The lift wasn’t moving fast enough for your liking because after not seeing your boyfriend for a week after everything that had happened recently it felt like it had been a year.

So when your keys went into your front door you couldn’t unlock it and get inside fast enough. Matty must have heard the door close behind you because a second later he was shouting your name.

“Y/N Y/N Y/N,” You hear your boyfriend's voice call out and you’re grinning at how excited he sounded.

You walk through your hall and into the lounge and see your Curly coming out of your bedroom.

“Hey,” You grin but then you see Matty rush towards you. So you drop your bags and ask, “What's up? Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fantastic,” He picks you up and spins you around, hugging you to his body.

You giggle into his ear and clutch to him so you don't fall, but you're so overcome by his joy you doubt you’d care if you both did end up on the floor.

“What's happened? Why are you here? I thought I was coming to you.” You ask, still absolutely buzzing to see him, but you could tell something was going on.

Matty tells you, running a hand through his hair, “I had to come and tell you... Jamie’s done it.”

“Done what?” You ask at the mention of their manager.

“We're doing it Wheels,” Your boyfriend says a little in disbelief, “We’re recording the full album.”

“Oh my god,” You gasp, a hand coming up to cover your mouth. Your arms fly around his neck when you say, “Matty that’s amazing.”

“I know,” He says as he spins you around in your living room.

You feel like you’re buzzing with energy and it only increases when the both of you stay stationary for a moment, and Matty tells you, “He wants us to put an EP out in a fortnight.”

“Really?” You ask, completely shocked at how soon their manager wanted it out.

You knew they had recorded stuff so they could put something out tomorrow if they were asked to, but this now being real and things being released properly meant something. This was huge, and two weeks didn’t feel like enough time to let it sink in.

“Yeah,” Matty nods frantically.

“Then we’re going to Liverpool in February and recording everything. And in March we have music videos, Wheels. Real music videos,” Matty grins at you excitedly.

“Oh my god, I’m so happy for you Matty,” You say as you pull him into a hug, “I’m so beyond happy for you.”

They had been waiting for this news for years. Ever since Jamie found them in 2009 they had been waiting to get this exact news.

You knew how much it meant to each and every one of your boys. This was their dream, and the fact it was coming true made you want to cry in relief.

“Will you do the merch for us? And the album art? And everything in between?” Matty asks, getting so excited about everything that comes with making an album, “I don’t want anyone else to do it but you. The guys and Jamie agree.”

You don’t hesitate for a second when you answer, “Of course I will.”

“Thank you thank you thank you,” Matty says and he spins the both of you around once more.

“I’m so proud of you,” You tell him because you truly are.

You feel like you could burst with pride. His dreams were coming true right before your eyes and you know how much it means to him.

“So proud,” You reiterate as you hug the love of your life.

Matty squeezes you back tightly, “I love you so much Sweetheart, happy anniversary.”

“Happy anniversary Curly, I love you more.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: SO CUTE RIGHT!!! I absolutely adore Matty and Wheels, but poor lil Alex x

Taglist: @psychkunox @sofiaaraee @thewheeler @cold-hands-cold-eyesss @xovalliegirlxo @vroboat @hoodskillerqueen @woahhealy @emmaheg1005 @belledawnidk @elen-alambil @megann-duff @alexsvacuumcleaner @bshelley322 @g0thwat3rr @cassieinnit @ohmyolympusssy @fillingavoidwitham @xqueenkt​ 

Add yourself to the taglist with the link in the Masterlist!

[nriacc]

Dance Little Liar | NRIACC: Part 8 |

Nothing Revealed In A Common Crisis 

Plot by @imagine-that-100​ and @ghostlightqueen​

Written by @ghostlightqueen and @imagine-that-100​

Description: | Here |

Word Count: 13.3k

Warnings: This series contains mature content and themes throughout

A/N: Okay so this is a fun part. Strap in, the rollercoaster is well and truly beginning x

| Series Masterlist | N’s Masterlist | NRIACC Playlists | The Band’s Info | Read on Wattpad | Read on AO3 |

You’re sitting on Matt’s settee, next to Alex as you typically are, half listening to the lads talk about their upcoming tour. You’re beaming with pride, your closest and oldest friends had come so far and showed no signs of slowing down.

They’d been discussing setlists for a while and came to the decision to take a little break. Matt just got up and offered to grab everyone a drink.

Alex is looking over the couple of alternate sets they’d all come up with. Nick and Jamie have both popped out to the garden for a smoke so with Matt gone as well, you lightly punched Alex’s shoulder.

“Hm?” He hums and looks over at you.

“I’m so proud of you guys, Al.” You grin at him.

He grins back, “Thanks, Y/N/N. You listened to this one yet?”

“New album?” You ask him and he nods.

“Yeah, ‘course. Soon as I got it.”

You’d forgotten you were in Manchester when it had been released, so you hadn’t gotten to tell him your thoughts, since you were busy with Adam and his friends over Easter - and Alex was busy until you headed back to Manchester for the summer.

You and Alex really hadn’t seen much of each other this year, apart from your birthday and the few days you were back from Manchester. But it was understandable, the band was doing phenomenal and you were focusing on your other friendships and general life things.

Not to say you didn’t miss the hell out of Alex, Matt, Nick, and Jamie, or drinking in the park, or Matt’s house parties. Because you really did.

But you’re brought out of your thoughts when Alex lightly pinches your thigh with a mischievous smirk.

“‘Ey, what?” You hiss at him slightly.

His smirk makes you feel a little nervous after flirting with him over the last half of your summer away. You’re not too sure if it was going to continue in person, but with the way he’s looking at you now, it makes you think it’s going to. And you actually want it to continue.

“What’s your favorite track?” He asks, and the amused grin on his face clearly tells you that he’d asked you the question already but you were too caught up in your thoughts to hear it.

“That, as usual, is a very difficult question, Shakespeare.” You chuckle back.

You shift in your seat, now resting your legs in his lap and leaning a bit closer to him with a slight smirk. His hands run up and down your thighs as he waits for your answer.

“Did Matt get lost?” You chuckle, wanting to change the subject.

“Matt!” You call toward the kitchen.

No response.

Certainly feels like a bit of a set up the more you think about it. The rest of the boys should be back in here by now.

“What’s your favourite?” Alex repeats his question.

You know what he wants you to say.

“Hm,” You think and try to remember all the other tracks on the album, but Only Ones Who Know is cemented in your mind.

505 pops in your head as well and you let out a sigh inside your brain.

Literally any other song aside from those ones, come on.

Balaclava was the next track that comes to mind, you’re fairly sure that one has nothing to do with you.

“Balaclava," You answer and Alex is a bit taken aback, he looks at you in confusion for a minute.

“What?” He laughs in disbelief.  

“I don’t know,” You laugh back, “You guys just sound like you had the most fun on that.”

That isn’t necessarily a lie, but it being your favourite on the album is.

“I like the bass in it.” You shrug.

That, again, isn't a lie.

“You like the...” Alex chuckles, baffled, he shakes his head. “I didn’t expect that one.”

You tease him straight back, baiting him to say what he wanted you to, “What did you expect?”

“Don’t really know, I guess,” He shrugs and looks down as he starts to trace shapes on your thighs.

Maybe he just hadn’t been obvious enough that the songs were about you. Alex knows he’d tried to be discrete on their first record, but with this he hoped you’d catch on.

Alex is brought out of his thoughts when Matt comes back through and he quickly takes his hands off your legs.

“Took you long enough,” You chuckle as Matt passes you the drink you’d requested.

Matt dismisses your teasing as Nick and Jamie also come back in. They hop back into discussing their setlist again.

“When’s this one start?” You ask about their UK tour.

“Couple weeks," Nick answers you and you nod.

Matt asks with a teasing grin, “You gonna miss us, Y/N/N?”

“Yeah.” You grin, adding “Obviously.” as you roll your eyes.

“Why don’t you come with us?” Alex asks, rather impulsively.

“And do what?” You chuckle.

“Ah, just have fun.” He grins at you. “Live a little,”

“I’m sure Alex wouldn’t mind sharing his bunk with you,” Matt smirks and that prompts Alex to crumble up one of the setlists they’d decided against and chuck it at his friend’s head.

Matt dodges it as he laughs. You laugh a bit as well.

“If you guys really don’t mind, I’d love to come.” You smile.

“Ah, we’d love to have you around again, Y/N.” Jamie smiles at you.

Matt truly can’t help himself when it comes to teasing Alex about you. “Al especially,”

“Would you...” Alex begins and attempts to kick Matt in his shins.

Matt laughs and moves his legs just out of Alex’s reach. You look at the time, starting to feel tired from everything you’d done today.

From getting your new ferris wheel tattoo on your left ankle this morning, to having dinner with the whole family, saying goodbye, and coming back home, you’re just drained.

“Well, much as I love you all, I think I’m gonna head home and to bed, I’m exhausted.” You announce as you stand up.

When you got back from Manchester, you were only at home long enough to drop your bags off before you headed over to Matt’s. You’d missed them too much to be apart for any longer.

“I think I’m gonna head out too.” Alex announces. Matt raises an eyebrow as he looks at you two.

“Discrete isn’t really your style is it, mate?” He asks.

“Matt, I swear to god,” Alex looks over at him, Matt just silently laughs and takes a sip of his beer.

“Ah, he’s right though,” You giggle as you gently pat Alex on the cheek. You proceed to tease him a bit, “You gonna walk me home, Turner?”

Something about being back was different this time. Maybe being specifically in Matt’s house, the same house you and Alex had kissed in so much, made your feelings for him bubble back to the surface.

Yeah, you definitely want the flirting to continue.

Your face heats up as you remember almost everyone staring at you two as Alex led you up to Matt’s room the night after, all those years back. You smile though, if you had to pick which one of the fools you missed the most, it’s always going to be Alex.

“Yeah,” He answers your question and you smile at him, he grins at you a bit. No doubt remembering what exactly happened the last time he walked you home. “I’ll walk you home, Y/N/N.”

You two head out, hands brushing against the others’ as you walk down the road toward your house. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable but you and Alex both had a tendency to go quiet if you were nervous. A fact you both knew about each other, which made the silence interesting.

“You rem-” You both start the same question and laugh together.

“You go.” He smiles at you.

“You remember that spin the bottle game?” You ask curiously.  

“The one that made you want to murder Josh?” He chuckles and then nods, “Yeah.” You two slow as you reach your house, Alex looks over at your face, his usual goofy grin spread over his lips.

You nervously ask, “What?”

“Nothing.” He shakes his head, still grinning.  

“Nothing, with that grin of yours... Okay, sure.” You laugh, before prying,  “What’s on your mind, Al?”

The way he was looking at you made you want to hold your breath. It reminded you of how he looked at you the night of Matt’s party, before you went up to Matt’s bedroom. Needless to say, if your Mum wasn’t due home within the next hour you’d invite him in and up to your room again.

“Remember the night before the party?” He asks in a whisper as he gently grabs your hips.

“Yeah.” You smile taking a small step closer before teasing, “You know sometimes I swear there’s still bruises on my boobs from you.”

Alex laughs at that a little but your heart thuds a little quicker when he says, “You’ve not let me be lucky enough to make anymore.”

God, you definitely want to bring him back up to your room.

You raise your eyebrows a little and point out, “You never let on that you wanted to make any more.”

Seeing a small amused smile come to your best friend's lips, he asks, “Were the hints not good enough?”

Truthfully, other than the short kiss you shared on your birthday; you had no idea Alex had any further interest in you. Yeah, the texts were a little flirty, but you didn’t expect him to put all his cards on the table for you to see like he is doing now.

“You could just ask.” You say as you look into his brown eyes.

You can tell that there’s intent behind all his words, but you can see from the way he reacts to what you just said that he didn’t expect you to be as confident in encouraging his advances.

His eyes never leave yours as he smirks, “And you’d say yes, would you?”

The way his hands have a tight grip on your hips make you want to lean up and kiss him here and now. But the tension is too much fun and feels too good to break yet.

“Why don’t you find out?” You encourage him, wanting him to make the first move.

“Could make some right now?” Alex offers with a grin playing on those lips of his. The way he’s looking at you makes your stomach flip, and you almost feel breathless when he asks, “We have time, don’t we?”

“Not a lot, but enough.” You nod, entirely down for something quick if he is.

Your best friend grins, “Should have left them earlier, shouldn’t we?”

You’re nodding with a smirk dying to make its way onto your lips, and it seems that the both of you have the same idea to head towards your front door as you take a step back and Alex steps forward. Your heart is already thudding at the thoughts of having him in your bed again and you think he’s leaning down to kiss you until someone ruins the moment.

A car door shutting makes you two jump a bit, resulting in Alex's hands falling from your hips and him taking a step away. Turning to see where it came from, you see your Mum getting out of her car and when she turns to get the shopping from the boot, she sees the two of you.

“Oh hello, Alex!” Your Mum greets him cheerily.

“Hi, Y/M/N.” Alex smiles as he greets her, but you can tell he’s a little gutted just like you are.

“How are you?” She asks as she walks over to the two of you, “It’s been a while since we’ve seen your face around here.”

“I’m good, thank you.” He nods politely, giving her a warm smile.

You don’t quite know how he’s managing to talk to her because you want to throttle her for being a cockblock. You’re fuming.

“That’s wonderful, your Mum was telling me your band has been quite a hit.” She says and Alex nods again.

You want to roll your eyes. She knew they headlined Glastonbury; it was quite obvious that they were doing well for themselves.

“Yeah, it’s going good,” Alex smiles at her before looking back towards you.

Alex knows about your ever-distancing relationship with your Mum, so he no doubt feels a little awkward in the conversation despite him knowing her for years.

As your Mum quickly puts the shopping bags into the house, you ask your best friend and quietly ask, “Do you have a free house?”

Hearing that makes Alex smile, but he bites his lip to stop himself from letting it get too big. Knowing that you want him again makes him want to kiss you here and now, but he stops himself because he knows your Mum will ruin it. Instead, Alex just shakes his head to answer your question, but he leans down to whisper, “Next time, Angel.”

Alex likes seeing the way you get a little flustered at his promise, and it’s even better when you can’t say anything back because your Mum comes back outside to lock her car and ask him another question about the band.

“Well, uh,” You chuckle before your Mum can ask Alex anything else, “Thanks for walking me home, Al.”

“Yeah.” He smiles at you. “Anytime, Y/N/N.”

“Well, we hope to see you more often.” Your Mum tells him.

“Thanks. I’ll try and come by more.” Alex says and then grins at you slyly. “See you later.”

“See you soon, Al.” You nod, trying not to let a grin tug your lips up.

As Alex continues up the road towards his house, you stay outside watching him as he heads off. You have no idea why, if asked you’d say because your Mum was still standing there, but little did you know she was observing the way you were looking towards Alex.

But before long, you feel your Mum’s eyes on you, so you glance away from Alex and over at her. She's smiling at you.

“What?” You question with a little smile.

She seemed to be in a good mood this evening, and that was always a bonus.

“Oh, nothing.” She chuckles as she heads inside.

“Everyone and their ‘nothing’s.” You mutter as you follow her.

~*~*~*~ November 6th 2007 ~*~*~*~

You’d been on tour with the lads for a little over three weeks now, and things had been fun. You were certainly happy to be spending so much time with some of your favourite people again.

Things with Alex were... different.

In a good way though. You two were over anything sour that had happened in the past and were just enjoying each other’s company. The two of you weren’t discrete about it either, Alex always seemed to have his hands on you in some way.

If you two were sitting on the settee, then your legs were in his lap and his fingers were tracing shapes on your thighs. More often than not before and after shows, on the walk to and from the bus, Alex would hold your hand or wind up carrying you on his back back to the bus, or into whatever venue the lads were playing at.

The bunk you had claimed as yours was empty every night as you typically ended up sleeping in Alex’s with him, the two of you cuddled close to each other in the confined space. With anyone else, it would’ve been claustrophobic, but with Alex it felt nothing but content.

Mornings you were often awoken with a few soft kisses to the crown of your head and then to your forehead. A couple of days over the tour, the lads would be gone for interviews but Alex seemed to make it a point to kiss you before he left as you decided to just hang out in the bus while they did their thing. You needed at least some time to try and do some of your assignments for your Masters.

Today is one of the days when they all had to go out for an interview and Alex is reluctant to leave. The others are all annoyed, waiting at the door as he kisses you once more, probably for the fifth or sixth time since he said he was going.

You both laugh as Matt shouts, “Fuck’s sake, Al, she’ll still be here when we’re done. Come on!”

He kisses you once more, making your three other friends groan and roll their eyes but he leaves with them shortly after. You find that your heart flutters long after he’s gone though, and starts again when you get the text from him saying that they are on their way back.

You busied yourself on the days that they were off for interviews, either doing uni work, or just doodling or reading. You did need to start putting uni first a little more, but the pull you felt to be near Alex when he was around made you forget all about those responsibilities.

However, today was a day where they had an interview then had to go straight in for soundcheck before the gig, so you were set up on the couch keeping an eye out the window so you could pop in and listen to soundcheck. You’d heard all of them, but you weren’t tired of listening to the band set up. It was interesting to hear things before everything was properly set up and then listen to them talk things over with the sound guys.

By the time a couple of hours had passed, they had all returned. You slipped your shoes on before joining them, and Alex hung back from the rest of the lads to wait for you.

“Hey, Angel,” He grins as you walk over to him. He puts his arm around your shoulders and kisses the side of your head.

“Hey, Shakespeare,” You grin back at him, “How was it?”

“Ah, the same twenty questions everyone else has asked.” He mutters and you chuckle as you two begin to walk towards the venue. “Lads wanna go out after the show tonight.”

“That sounds fun.” You nod, enjoying the feeling of his thumb caressing the side of your hand.

“Hm,” Alex hums and smiles at you before suggesting, “Was thinking maybe you and I could stay in instead?”

“Oh?” You laugh as you raise your eyebrows at him, “And what do you have planned for us while we stay in?”

“Maybe... watch a film.” He stated, “Little bit of us time.”

“Mhm.” You hum trying to suppress your smile.

You and Alex had all but started dating since that day at Matt’s, or it certainly felt like you two were. The words hadn’t been spoken but with how he was acting with you - between the kisses and small touches here and there, sharing his bunk - you didn’t know what else to call it besides dating.

Especially considering sharing his bunk wasn’t as innocent as the both of you were making it out to be.

Maybe you’d ask for confirmation tonight, or just wait until Alex brought it up. Either way, you were enjoying yourself and were happy to have some time just to yourself and Alex.

“If you know what I mean.” He smirks at you, making your heart rate pick back up again.

“Oh, I’ve got a pretty good idea of what you mean.” You giggle.

The late-night antics in his bunk weren’t all that innocent. You’ve both gone past make out sessions and light dry humping at this point. Before you both came on this tour that was all you’d done as you both seemingly wanted to draw the tension between you out, but the confined proximity of staying on their tour bus with them has made things more intense.

The things Alex would whisper in your ear and tell you what he wanted to do to you when you were both alone and in private made you want him even more. Some of the things he’s told you were filthy, yet you wanted every single second of what he’d describe to you. You want this tour to be over and done with so you can go home, and he can have his way with you in private.

Each make out session has progressed a little further, and the nights after his gigs last week were the closest you two had come to shagging again since that night years ago. Hands roamed everywhere, feeling how both of your bodies had changed over the years and you loved every second of it.

But two nights ago, it went further.

It was the dead of night and you knew everyone was asleep because it was well past 3am and you and your best friend had been talking innocently until then. He was one of a few people in your life you could chat to for hours on end and never get bored but then when the both of you ended up kissing, you both got carried away.

Both of you were fully getting off with each other to the point where you both wanted more, and you got it. Alex’s hand found its way into your pyjama shorts where he ended up fingering you until you came hard.

When he started, you had to hide yourself into his neck to stop yourself from making any of the noises you desperately wanted to release. Your skin was hot and sweaty as his fingers moved and curled inside you and by the time, he had you finishing on his fingers, you had to bite down on his shoulder to stop from moaning loudly.

After you regained your ability to do anything more than clutch your best friend, you knew when you watched him taste you on his fingers that you had to get him off too. You didn’t feel obliged to, you just really wanted to, so you gave your best friend a handjob until he came, and you had to kiss him to shut him up.

You didn’t intend for it to go that far, but you were thankful it did. The release of the weeks of tension made it so good, you just wish you could have had the freedom to make the noise you wanted to though. But after that night you told Alex that it couldn’t go any further, primarily because you weren’t about to shag him with the majority of your friends in such close proximity.

“A night in sounds excellent.” You grin and kiss him as you two pause at the stage door.  

Alex grins and kisses you back, and you like the way he grips your hips, feeling like you were meant to be in his arms like that. You had a feeling that the kiss held a much deeper meaning other than the common ‘good luck for your soundcheck’ one that it was meant to be.

There was a mutual understanding behind this one.

A silent ‘I can’t wait.’

And before the others shout at you, ruining the moment once again, you and Alex share another knowing look as you two head inside. A look that holds exactly the same message. You’re excited that you won't have to be quiet tonight. 

Soundcheck and the show itself goes by quickly. You linger just off stage, tired from spending most other shows in the crowd. Alex would grin over at you periodically, mostly during the songs about you, or during ones he knew you really enjoyed.

You thought by now that you’d be used to the look he gives when he sings 505 or Only Ones Who Know. The latter seems to make you blush the most; Alex always lean in close to the microphone, his eyes lingering on you periodically but also making sure to scan the crowd so no one catches on.

The few weeks you’d been away, you’d heard people talk about the song, a lot of them saying it was bittersweet and maybe they were right. But you were one of those only people who knew what he was talking about in the song, so maybe you didn’t see the bittersweet that everyone else did.

You’re brought out of your thoughts when Alex sends an air kiss your way, which makes you laugh.

The lights go down and the lads return backstage. You smile as Alex wraps his arms around your waist and kisses you sweetly, your breath catching as your lips meet once again.

The sudden action makes you giggle against his lips though, and you don't hesitate to kiss him back. You two part and smile at each other, the look once again clear as day.

Neither of you could wait to get back on that bus alone.

You really don’t know how these feelings had crept up on you so suddenly. Well, in theory, it wasn’t that suddenly.

Alex had been round at your house quite a lot before the tour began in mid October and you got closer and closer as time went on. The flirting progressed into what it was now, and you guessed a connection of some sort must have still been there since you first looked at each other in the way that you were doing now.

Otherwise, he wouldn’t have kissed you on your birthday, nor would he have been flirting with you over the summer, or falling into whatever this dynamic was. There was always that pull between you. Ever since the day you first slept together.

“Y/N/N, you coming out with us?” Matt asks as you all head back towards the bus.  

“Not up for it tonight. Thanks for the invite, though.” You tell him as you give the others a smile, “You guys have fun.”

“I’ll stay in with you, Y/N.” Alex grins at you, even though you both already knew this was the plan.

It made Jamie, Nick, Matt, and Miles laugh out loud though. It was so loud that it even drew some attention from some crew members which you wanted to scold the lads for.

“You guys should really work on being more subtle.” Jamie tells you two.

You really try your best not to let it fluster you, because no matter what happens tonight you wouldn’t be telling them anything. They could theorise all they wanted, but you wouldn’t be telling them shit.

But when Matt jokes, “Just don’t do it on the couch, yeah?” you just want to hide yourself in Alex and never escape his embrace.

“Maybe put a towel down if you do.” Miles quickly adds and the lads, aside from Alex, all laugh.

“Right, leave us to it then.” Alex laughs, brushing them off with a shake of his head.

He also shoves Miles playfully, seeing as he was the closest to you two. As you say your goodbyes to your mates, who were in search of a pub, you feel your heart start beating faster due to the anticipation of finally being alone with your best friend that you fancy to death.

You both take your time walking back to the bus, hand in hand, not wanting to raise suspicions from anyone else who might be around. As you do though, you feel nervous and excited all at the same time.

You definitely want this, and the fact you know performing gets Alex into that sort of giddy turned on state anyway means that you're really excited for what was to come. After all, you can’t deny that seeing him on stage wasn’t just as hot.

Alex’s hands and lips are on you as soon as the bus door shuts behind you. You can’t help but let out a soft laugh as he seems frantic about it, the buzz obviously getting to him too.

“Al, calm down,” You chuckle as you pull away a bit, “We’ve got time.”

“Been years though, hasn’t it, Angel?” Alex asks as his lips return to your neck, “Forgive me if I don’t have any patience left.”

“Alex.” You laugh a bit, tangling your hands in his hair and giving it a gentle tug.

Alex lets out a low hum against your neck and holy fuck, you love that feeling.

He was right, it had been years since you two had actually slept together, and clearly getting seconds away from it over the past few weeks had worn away any patience the man had left. It had worn yours away as well.

Alex pulls away from your neck and kisses you hard, forcing you to kiss him back with just as much enthusiasm, and his arms go around your waist as yours go around his shoulders. He begins to walk you back towards the bunks, but you two don’t quite make it there. Instead, the both of you fall back onto the couch.

Alex makes quick work of both of your tops and like he had before, he makes sure to leave marks on your chest, which you find just as pleasurable as the first time he’d done it. When he returns to kiss your lips once more, you decide you want to give him some back.

If he could claim you as his own by leaving an abundance of love bites behind on your skin, you sure as hell wanted to do the same. You slowly kiss down his jaw to his neck and take great pleasure out of the noises he was making. However, when you gently begin to suck on the flesh just above his jugular, he stops you.

But he pulls away quickly with a sudden breath of, “Don’t.”

“What?” You ask in confusion as you prop yourself up a bit on your elbows.

Alex is hovering over you, looking like he’s just been caught doing something bad, but you’re just confused and waiting for an explanation or an okay to continue.

“Just…” He trails off, but then says, “Not in the mood to have the lads give me shit for it.”

You can understand that completely.

“Okay.” You chuckle, giving a little tug on his hair again to pull his lips back down to yours,

Alex kisses you again and things pick up as quickly as they had the first time. Your bra hits the floor next and he admires your body, calling you, “Beautiful” once again. You really can’t help but laugh when Alex’s lips descend down to your chest again, as a combination of his breath and hair tickles you.

“What?” Alex chuckles as he looks up at you lovingly.

“Nothing,” You shake your head, a massive smile on your lips as you say, “Let’s go to your bunk though, don’t really wanna get interrupted.”

Alex nods in agreement and you two move quickly back to Alex’s bunk. You had just enough room to straddle your best friend when he got into the bunk, so that’s what you did. And you enjoy letting his hands explore your hot skin as you make each other breathless all over again.

Alex coaxes moans out of you when his hips buck up into yours, as both of your jeans create a pleasurable friction. But the groans that Alex lets out for you when you grind your hips down into his, turns you on more than you let on. Well, the noises he’s making, and the fact that his clothed erection is pressing against you.

Your best friend can’t seem to take much more of your teasing though, as Alex flips the two of you over, trapping you beneath him this time. It was very much like the first time you two had done this, except for the added years of experience with other people now meant you each knew what you liked a little more.

“Jeans.” Alex mutters, and you get what he means. You push your jeans down and decide to take your underwear with them.

Alex kisses you passionately again, and you can feel the electric energy between you when his hands start to wander down your body. The hum of satisfaction you release against Alex’s lips when he gently trails his hand down your body, seems to be enough encouragement to progress things even further.

As soon as his hand travels between your legs, you can’t quieten the loud moan that escapes your lips. Alex finds your clit instantly and he teases you with those circular motions until you’re releasing soft sounds against his lips, and when he adds a little more pressure, the way you tug on his hair causes Alex to moan.

The settee definitely would’ve allowed for more freedom of movement, but you aren’t mad about the fact you two have to be as close as possible to not fall out of the bunk. Alex kisses down your jaw and starts to leave marks along your neck and chest again as he proceeds to work his fingers in and out of you.

You can feel the familiar build-up of pressure in your lower stomach. But you think the fact you’d been putting the intimacy off between you for the last few months just makes you all the more desperate for him. It still all feels new, as if the other night didn’t happen and this was the first time either of you were getting any relief.

“Al, please.” You breathe as you feel yourself getting closer to your orgasm.

You need this. You need him.

Feelings like the ones you currently harbour for Alex hadn’t been felt since you first started going out with Peter. But these feel more intense after being let down by Peter so badly for the last year of your relationship.

The feelings for Matty had been different. You promised each other to not get attached and even though you planned to stick to that, the lines between friendship and relationship had definitely started to get confused as the end of summer grew closer.

Since you first slept with Alex though, you’d wanted a relationship with him. The build-up over that summer all those years ago had the possibility to blossom into such a good relationship, and you feel like this is your second chance at it.

A chance that you both seem to really want to take and make it work. You want your Alex in the way you’d had him over the past few months, all the time.

You let out a soft whine as Alex pulls his hand away from between your legs, obviously wanting to prolong your pleasure and achieve your highs at the same time. Alex kisses your lips again and you reach down to undo his jeans, but as he’s not quite as nimble as you, Alex has to hop out of his bunk to take them off properly.

You really can’t help but let out a soft giggle as what you were doing was sinking in. About to have sex in a bunk bed on a tour bus - you were living every girl’s fantasy who had a crush on someone in the music industry. It feels like the most natural thing in the world with your best friend though.

Alex is back within seconds and returns to kneel between your legs. But as he hovers above you, you watch as his brown eyes take in your body once again.

Your heart flutters fast in your chest when he smiles, “Beautiful as ever, Angel.”

Your chest feels like it’s about to burst at that comment as he now reaches into one of the mesh pockets on the wall of his bunk. You roll your eyes, trying to play the comment off naturally, but smile back and pull him down into a kiss, not caring that you’re just making it harder for him to find what he was digging for.

Alex laughs a little against your lips, before his tongue meets your own again, savouring the bliss it provides you both. Despite that though, he pulls out a condom from the mesh pocket and gets it on himself quickly.

Your best friend asks you reassuringly if you want to continue, and when you nod that you do, feeling as comfortable as ever as it was with him, Alex kisses you softly once again. It settles every nerve you have, and you want him so desperately. It dawns on you just how much you like him.

God, you really, really like him.

He grunts when he sinks into you initially, and the sound frankly catches you off guard. You were used to the way Matty would moan after the summer you’d spent with him. But Matty wasn’t who you should be thinking of now.

Alex pulls away from your kiss, taking your bottom lip with him for a moment how he knows you like. It causes you to whimper for him, now there is an overwhelming sense of pleasure filling your body.

Your pleasured moans just increase Alex’s desire, as after the first few thrusts, and reassuring kisses, Alex sets a quick pace with a groan of, “Fuck” falling from his lips.

You can’t remember if you two were this loud the first time, but you certainly don’t mind the noise. If anything, it brings you more satisfaction, knowing that you were the cause of those sounds rising up from Alex’s chest and falling from his lips.

Finding the pleasure building in your body almost too much, you find yourself needing to dig your nails into your best friend’s skin almost to ground you to him. But, like before when you tried to mark his neck up, you find that Alex removes your hand from him and back down to the bed so your grip tightens on the sheets instead.

You think nothing of it though, as a second later, Alex brings his hand up to the end of the bunk to brace himself against it as he buries his hips into yours time and time again. His other is keeping him hovering over you, and you both try to kiss each other as much as possible. But at this point you’re just finding everything too much as you’re moaning into the other’s mouths.

Everything about this feels amazing. It’s hard, fast, and hot, and it works you up perfectly. You can feel that familiar ache spreading through your lower stomach as Alex fucks into you over and over. Unable to hold it, you gasp when Alex’s hand goes back down between your legs, starting to play with your clit again.

It seems that Alex is closer to his climax than you are because you can almost feel him holding himself together, stopping him from finishing yet. Your best friend applies more pressure to your clit which definitely builds your orgasm faster and when he switches from kissing your lips to your neck, you know you’re almost there.

Tomorrow you’ll find that you’re only left with love bites on your chest, where no one would see. You really didn’t mind that though, as they were a bitch to cover the first time.

Alex orgasms just before you this time around and whilst it causes his hips to falter when colliding with yours. However, his fingers continue to work on your clit as he moans into your mouth, loving the feeling of you wrapped around him and pulling on his hair. He has you finding your release a few seconds later, and he takes great satisfaction in feeling your legs shaking around his own, before clamping around him when the pleasure overcomes your body.

You two part, only enough so he can rest his forehead against yours, silently catching your breaths. Whilst the bliss slowly subsides, Alex and you just silently maintain eye contact for a few minutes, both your hands are now in his hair, playing with it like you usually find yourself doing most days in a far more innocent setting.

Alex seems to be taking great pleasure out of the mundane sensation of having someone play with his hair. And your heart warms once again when he grins at you, before proceeding to brush your nose against his.

After another minute, Alex places a soft kiss on your lips, just a quick one, through both of you panting. Unfortunately, the moment doesn’t last as long as you wanted it to.

Alex is out of you and his bunk shortly after that quick kiss and he pulls you with him, ushering you to head to the toilet before he has a shower. After one more passing kiss as you remerge out into the bunks, you hear Alex start the shower in the bus and you decide to get yourself ready for bed.

You go over to your bunk briefly, grabbing the shirt and shorts you usually sleep in and slipping them on. You go back out to the front area and grab the clothes that had been discarded there, basically just cleaning up before everyone else comes back.

Because you and Alex aren’t telling them anything.

~*~*~*~*~*~

A couple of days later, it was the lads’ biggest gig on the tour to date, and everyone was buzzing. This arena is big enough for them to have a dressing room each, if they really wanted to.

You and Alex had just been out to a shop for pre-gig drinks and cigarettes. You two were laughing and chatting as you headed back to the venue, both silently thankful that nothing had changed between you since the other night.

If nothing else, you just felt closer to each other. Another secret shared, presumably until you both decided on what to label your dynamic, because ‘best friend’ didn’t really seem to fit right anymore. After the other night, it was definitely more.

Best friends don’t have sex with each other.

You make your way back into the large shared dressing room, where the rest of the band was hanging out, you were surprised to see a stunning woman, tall with wavy brown hair. She was standing around like she was waiting for someone.

Her eyes land on you and Alex, more so him, and she smiles brightly. She heads over to your best friend immediately and excitedly greeting him, “Alex!”

Alex drops your hand at the door and goes to her immediately, but your heart sinks as you watch him wrap his arms around her waist and kiss her sweetly.

You aren’t the only one who’s surprised. Really, Miles seems like the only one who wasn’t surprised.

Matt, Nick and Jamie all look at you, just as shocked as you are. All quite clearly in the dark about whoever this girl was.  

But all you could do was stand there helplessly and watch. You had no idea what you were witnessing, yet the dread you feel seems to slowly spread through your body again.

Alex introduces everyone to this girl, Alexa, and only when Alex turns to introduce you last, does she take note of you. But when she does, she seems genuine and friendly.

But you want to cry when she asks with a smile, “Oh, Y/N, his best friend, right?”

She has no idea.

You spare a glance at Alex, and his face is void of emotion, with an expression you were unable to read. You aren’t sure if it’s because you’re hurt or because you just didn’t know him as well as you thought you did.

“Y/N?” Alexa asks again, bringing you out of your head.

“Huh, yeah... Best friend I guess.” You nod before adding in a strained laugh, in an attempt to act normal, “I mean after Helders, obviously.”

The sweet girl engages in conversation with the lads for a few minutes, but you could only hopelessly stare at your best friend. But he keeps his eyes off you like you’re the plague.

All that does though is solidify the hurt that spreads through you.

“Um, I’m gonna....” You point over your shoulder at the door, not looking at anyone in particular as you slip out of the door. But not before you grab the drink you’d picked up.

You hurry out of the room and out of the venue, your mind hazy and completely spinning. What the hell was happening?

“What the fuck!” You shout a bit louder than you meant to and drew the attention of the security guard nearby.

“Sorry.” You tell him as he raises his eyebrow at you.

You sit against the wall and light a cigarette, bouncing your knees as you smoke. The stage door opens and you sigh in relief as Matt walks out.

“So, what the fuck was that?” He tries to joke because you very clearly need to laugh.

You just shake your head. Matt frowns and sits next to you, your friend putting his arm around your shoulders and giving you a gentle squeeze.

“I should go home.” You state blankly.

“Ah, Y/N/N, no.” Matt replies, before trying to prolong what was meant to be a fun trip for you, “Come on, we’ve barely got to hang out with you, stick around for the rest of us?”

You couldn’t help but worry that everything would just be tarnished from here on out though after witnessing whatever the hell that just was.

“Matt,” You sigh and look over at him, he’s pouting and it makes you laugh a bit. You push his face away from you playfully, “Stop pouting, you’re a grown man.”

“Stick around,” He nudges you, offering, “You can have fun with the rest of us. Nick, Jamie, and I will take you out so you can pull someone else.”

You chuckle a bit but nod, seeing no other way to either get back at Alex, or get over him. Depending on what this Alexa was to him.

You just feel complete numbness take over your system though, the chuckle was completely fake and just a means to appease Matt.

“There she is.” Matt grins and squeezes your shoulders again.

Standing in the wings of the stage was awkward this time, as Alexa is standing next to you. You were polite with her, you had no reason not to be.

But just from the little bit of interaction you’d seen when you went back inside with Matt earlier,  it was clear that she and Alex were together.

The band started up Only Ones Who Know and there was a lump in your throat as they performed it tonight.

“Oh, I love this one.” Alexa says from next to you.

“Yeah.” You say plainly, distantly nodding,  “Yeah, me too.”

Alex spares a glance in your direction but you know he’s looking at Alexa tonight, seeing as when he catches your eyes for a second he quickly looks back out to the crowd. You look away from him too, your grip tightening on the neck of the bottle you hold.

Knowing they don’t have many songs left, you mutter, “‘Scuse me” to Alexa and make your way out to the car park quickly.

You feel claustrophobic, trapped standing next to Alexa and watching Alex sing that song. Your legs give out beneath you and your stomach churns suddenly, you throw up onto the gravel that was in the car park.

It’s unexpected, a visceral reaction that accompanies your overwhelming emotions. You brace yourself against the wall until your body has nothing left to throw up. You stand up and wipe your mouth.

“What the fuck?” You repeat what you had yelled earlier, but it was a whisper this time, just for yourself.

You pick up your bottle of beer but your stomach churns again. You muster up as much strength as possible and chuck the bottle straight at the building across from you, only a meter or so away, before watching it shatter and fall to the concrete ground.

You push your hair back and head back to the bus, you really can’t go back backstage and watch anymore. Depending how long you could last on the tour, you know the rest of the shows you would either spend on the bus or in the crowd.

~*~*~*~ 22nd November 2007 ~*~*~*~

Alex’s attention has been completely taken by Alexa.

The ciders you’d had throughout their gig and the couple you’ve finished off as everyone hung out in Lord knows whose house, were definitely fueling your jealousy and annoyance more than dulling them. Miles plops down on the sofa next to you and kicks his feet up on the coffee table that separated you two from Al and his apparent girlfriend. Miles lightly flicked the underside of your chin with a low chuckle.

“What’s got you grumpy, Y/N/N?” He asks, despite the knowing smirk on his face.

He and all the boys in the Monkeys knew why your mood was so low. Though, maybe the one that mattered the most didn’t.

“Nothing, Kane.” You mutter and take another drink of your cider.

“Oh, super grumpy.” Miles feigns hurt, seeing as you typically called him Miles or some sort of nickname.

By now, Miles knew you well enough that if you didn’t quip back, you were actually upset.

“How long has that been going on?” You ask subtly nodding to Alex and Alexa, and you add in another scoff, “And what kind of narcissism does it take to date someone with a variation of your name?”

“I can only answer one of those.” Miles tells you with a soft chuckle.

“Oh,” You let out an annoyed whine as you look up at him, “Please tell me it's the narcissism one.”

You regret asking how long Alex and Alexa have been a thing as soon as the words left your mouth. The thought of all the kisses and intimate touches you’d shared with Alex over the few weeks of this tour made you sink back into the sofa.

“‘Bout six months now.” Miles answers how long the couple had been together.

You hum in response as you take a drink of your cider. Yep, you want to cry. You’re quiet for a few minutes, Miles stuck by you, mostly trying to cheer you up with dumb jokes.

You look back over at Alex and Alexa in time to see him bite her bottom lip as they pull away from a kiss.

“Dick.” You seeth more to yourself than anyone in the room as you stand up and make your way to the kitchen.

You toss your empty bottle in the bin, along with the others, and grab another before going out to the garden. It was fairly vacant so you gladly took the opportunity to get away from people for a minute and sit down.

Your moment of solace was interrupted by Jamie. Something that you didn’t mind at all, at least it wasn’t Alex.

“Heya, Cookie.” You greet him.

“Hey,” He gives you a sympathetic smile as he sits next to you. “How ya doing?”

“Am I that obvious?” You chuckle slightly.

“Only to the people that know you and Al the best.” Jamie states and you sigh.

“Yeah, well, you’d probably feel the same if he’d been trying to get into your pants this entire tour all whilst having a girlfriend.” You point out and Jamie laughs a bit.

“Sorry, shouldn’t laugh, you’re right.” He nods.

The both of you sit there in silence for a few minutes, until you offer Jamie a cigarette and he gladly takes one after you get one for yourself. You don’t chat as you smoke, you both just take an occasional sip of your drinks and you find that you crave the comfort of him just being there for you.

And you feel so much better in yourself, until the couple comes outside along with another group of people. You immediately deflate and Jamie can tell straight away.

Alex was joking around with a few other lads that you’d never seen before and Alexa comes over to you and Jamie after she spots you both sitting down. She stays standing up as pleasantries were exchanged, and she asks you and Jamie how you were both finding the party.

You find it easy to make conversation with her, as she is a nice and interesting person. It truly is a shame you’d met in the situation you found yourself in, because in any other situation you’d love to be really good friends with her.

“Lexa” Alex calls her and he silently asks for her cigarette which she happily gives him.

He comes over and has a drag of it and holds her waist just like he’d done in the months prior when you both went out of a cigarette. He would always have his head buried into your neck leaving teasing kisses there as you smoked, but after a drag or two he would always insist on you sharing the cigarette.

You pay him no attention as he was doing that, you just continue your conversation with Alexa. In that space of time you manage to finish your drink, and you know you’d need another soon.

Especially with Alex hanging off Alexa and being a fucking beg every so often for a drag. After a spell of him being particularly needy, you and Jamie roll your eyes discretely whilst Alexa just giggles like a schoolgirl.

You couldn’t even blame her though. You were in her shoes a matter of weeks ago and it felt amazing having his attention like that.

The thought of it now just repulsed you.

“Don’t know who we think we are, sharing a cigarette” Alexa giggles a little at Alex and then down to you and Jamie as she takes a drag.

“Quite the pair,” You smile up at her as best you can, but you knew she couldn’t tell you were being sarcastic.

Alex probably could, but you don’t spare him a glance. Jamie, however, you glance at, and you can see he’s looking at the ground trying to hold back a laugh.

You nudge him a little, not quite being able to hold back your little chuckle. So, you both silently laugh. You rest your head down on Jamie’s shoulder after he nudges you back and you both sit there softly giggling as you smoke.

Alexa looks back down at the both of you then, and thinks that you both look like quite a cute pair. So, she asks you a question that she’d actually been curious about.

“Do you have a boyfriend Y/N?” Alexa asks you, smiling down at you.

That question hits you like a baseball bat to the stomach.

You pick your head up off Jamie’s shoulder and shake it whilst taking a long drag of your cigarette. You hold the smoke in your lungs for a moment before you say, “Not anymore.”

She can hear the sadness in your voice when you say it, so she hesitantly asks, “What happened? If you don't mind me asking.”

“Oh, where do I start?” You say reliving the last year of your life in your head.

And upon doing so, you just wished you hadn’t left Manchester.

You strongly debate telling Alexa a version of the truth from the boyfriend you thought you’d just lost. You debate saying that you were deceived and tricked into bed by someone you thought you trusted.

But Jamie was next to you, and you didn’t want him to know you actually had sex with Alex the night they all went out. You and your best friend were both good liars and both of you had managed to convince them when they came back that nothing had gone that far.

You just didn’t know how good of a liar Alex actually was.

“I was in a really shitty relationship and some of my friends knew about it, and kept on pushing me to get out of it. Whilst I was away in Manchester I kissed one of my best friends. I felt guilty, came home and told the guy, it ended, and I cried about it,” You give her a very brief overview of the first half of your year.

You flick the end of your cigarette to the ground as you say, looking at her, “I shouldn't have cheated though. What goes around comes around, I guess.”

Your eyes flick to Alex’s and he doesn't even have the balls to maintain eye contact. He just guiltily looks away from you before pulling Alexa towards him and his hand slides into her back pocket.

“I’m sorry,” She tells you, “You deserve better than to be treated like shit.”

“Thank you Alexa,” You smile.

You really wanted to add ‘tell your boyfriend that’ but you didn’t have the energy anymore. Especially when he pulls her over to stand by the wall with him, so she’s leaning into his body and their faces are just inches apart again.

But Alexa’s attention was still mostly on you. She offers you a smile and says, “Don’t know who thinks they can treat you like that anyway. You’re gorgeous and you deserve better.”

You smile at her compliment but then Alex just has to go and be a cunt. Your dickhead of a best friend starts kissing her neck then and you literally see her melt in his arms.

Just like you’d done a matter of weeks before.

“I’ve clearly just got ‘gullible’ written on my forehead,” You say as you stand up, not giving anyone a second glance, as you disappear down the alley by the side of the house.

You weren’t going to sit there and watch him kiss her neck whilst she was chatting to you about heartbreaks, when he’s just caused you your worst one.

You just want to feel numb, and the only way you thought you’d be able to achieve that was to smoke some weed. So, you were really glad you spotted that guy by the front of the house earlier smoking it.

“Y/N,” You heard Jamie call.

You shout back, not bothering to turn around as you walked away, “I’m going to smoke some weed Jamie, not to kill myself.”

“Just wait a second,” He instructs and you try to keep the tears that are threatening to form in your eyes away as you stop.

The pressure in your head hurt, and you just didn’t want to be on the verge of crying every day anymore.

You turn back to look at your friend and you see him give you a sad smile. You’re sick of everyones pity, too.

“I’m sorry, you know?” Jamie tells you, taking a deep breath when he reaches you.

You ask him confused, “For what?”

“For what he’s done,” Jamie says, and you can feel the lump forming in your throat.

But he continues, “If I'd known... I would have told you... We all would have told you.”

You appreciate him telling you that a lot more than you think he would ever know. You feel betrayed by Miles, considering you’d become such good friends with him over the past few months, but at the end of the day it was Alex’s fault, not his.

“You don’t deserve that...” Jamie tells you as he sees the tears starting to form. “No one does”

You try to swallow away the lump in your throat, but it persists and it hurts. So, you just whisper, “I just feel like a complete mug” and you wipe away the lone tear that fell down your cheek.

“I’m not surprised” He says before he pulls you into a hug and the affection just makes you break a little.

“I just wanna go home, Cookie,” You whisper into his ear in the most pained voice Jamie ever thinks he’s heard.

“I know it probably doesn’t mean much but you’ve got us,” Jamie tells you as he keep you in his embrace, “And you can be assured that when she leaves we’re gunna boot the fuck off at him.”

You smile into his shoulder when he tells you that, but you’re shocked when he tells you, “Matt’s already done it once but it was cut short because people walked in.”

“Really?” You ask, surprised because you hadn’t heard about it.

More than likely Matt was trying to spare your feelings. But you want more than anything for Alex to get a comeuppance, even if it was just Matt shouting at him.

The knowledge of that makes you a lot happier.

“Yeah, really,” Jamie nods,  “We love you Y/N/N, and he’s being a prick. He’s not getting away with it."

“Thank you, Cookie. I love you,” You tell him, giving him another tight squeeze.  

“Love you too, Hun,” Jamie says before he kisses your temple.

~*~*~*~ 7th December 2007 ~*~*~*~

You weren’t entirely sure how you’d handled the past two weeks, as Alexa had joined the tour as well. Much to your dismay. She wasn’t here for a week's stay like you and the rest of the band initially thought.

Not that you would’ve picked things up with Alex again, but you could’ve at least chewed him out for it. You’d really only stayed at the request of Matt, Nick and Jamie. And you were having fun with them for sure - Miles as well.

You two got on better than anyone expected. Alex was pleased at that fact, since he and Miles were about as close as you two were. But that friendship had been a little more distant since you’d found out he knew about Alexa all along.

You roll the tension out of your neck and shoulders as you stand up from the settee. Even when you’re mad at him, you still want Alex to be happy. It frustrates the shit out of you.

“Where you going?” Matt asks as you head for the bunks.

“For a smoke!” You call back and go to grab the pack you’d bought at the last stop earlier in the week.

The bus was stopped for the night, having arrived at the stop for the gig tomorrow a couple of hours ago. You grab your rucksack and dig through it, grabbing two empty cigarette boxes.

“Well, that’s probably how I’ve been dealing with this shit.” You mutter to yourself and toss them on your bed before finding the newer one.

You grab your lighter as well and head back up to the door, you step down and open the door when it swings open in front of you. Alex stands at the foot of the steps and you hear Alexa laughing outside.

“Oh.” Alex and you breathe together.

Unsurprisingly, you two had been avoiding each other as much as possible since Alexa had arrived.

“Go ahead.” He says and steps out of the way, holding the door open and staring at his feet.

“Thanks.” You mutter and slip out past him.

You head away from Alexa’s laughter, glancing over your shoulder for a moment as you walk. You catch Alex staring at you for a second before he panics slightly and goes back onto the bus. You roll your eyes and take a cigarette out and light it.  

Despite being a bit away from Alexa, you can still hear her conversation clearly. She must have been on the phone with one of her friends, you assume.

“He really is just so sweet.” She gushes to her friend about Alex.

You roll your eyes, if she knew how you two had been before she showed up, she probably would’ve left. You should’ve just told her, called Alex out immediately.

But he seemed happy, so you decided against it. Pushing your feelings out of the way for the sake of his. Because he is, or maybe was now, your best mate and you wanted him to be happy.

“Oh, I’m just going to read this to you... Alex gave it to me when I got here.” She giggles.

You know you should’ve gone inside then, but you continue to smoke. But a minute later you find yourself completely regretting the decision to stay outside.

“Okay, ready?” She asks and takes a deep breath as she recites, “My mouth hasn’t shut about you since you kissed it. The idea that you may kiss it again is stuck in my brain which hasn’t stopped thinking about you since, well, before any kiss.”

Your knees give out a bit and you let yourself sink to the wet and dirty pavement beneath you. You don’t make any sound to accompany the tears that start, figuring Alexa may hear you. And you want to hear the rest of the letter. Sadistic as the notion of hearing Alex’s affirmation of love to her is.

“And now the prospect of those kisses seems to wind me like when you slip on the stairs and one of the steps hits you in the middle of the back.”

You close your eyes tightly and put your hand over your mouth to muffle any noise that might escape.

“The notion of them continuing for what is traditionally terrifying forever excites me to an unfamiliar degree.” Alexa giggles. “Isn’t that so cute?”

She gushes and you force yourself to stand, despite your legs still feeling like they’d give out from underneath you at any given moment.

The only direction in your mind being: Away.

Away from the bus.

From Alexa.

From Alex.

“Fuck.” You let out in a strained sob as your knees buckle again but you catch yourself against a bin.

You hope that you’re far enough away that she can’t hear you, or that she has gone back onto the bus. This is your breaking point, you can’t pretend like everything’s okay anymore.

“What the fuck?” You say to yourself.

Betrayed and broken are words that describe how you’re feeling. The hurt is constant in your chest now, and the tears that are cascading down your face just prove it.

You pat your pockets down for your phone, cursing yourself when you realise you’d left it to charge in your bunk. You don’t have any strength to get yourself back up though, so you find yourself sitting on the dirty pavement, trying to slowly piece yourself back together.

You have no idea how long you ended sitting crying for, but it couldn't have been any more than a total of twenty minutes because you hear your friend shout your name.

“Y/N/N!” Matt calls from behind you, but you can’t face shouting back with a broken voice, so you just pick yourself up off the floor and turn around.

Not yet noticing your condition, Matt wanders over and laughs a little as he asks, “What are you doing all the way out there?”

You glance around, not really realising just how far away from the bus you’d gone. Alexa must have gone back inside a while ago now. Matt closes the space between you and his usual playful grin drops as he notices you’re crying.

“Y/N.” He coos and gently steadies you once he notices you’re shaking.

Thank God for Matthew J Helders the third. You think to yourself.

Matt doesn’t even ask what was going on, he knows. So, he just hugs you tightly, Matt truly gives the best hugs out of all of your friends. You cry a little harder as you lean in his hug.

“Need anything?” He asks and you pull away as you wipe your eyes.

“Could you, uh, grab my phone from my bunk?” You ask him. “I think... I’m gonna call my cousin. Leave. I don’t wanna stick around anymore, sorry.”

“Oh, don’t apologise.” Matt says and gently squeezes your shoulders. “I’ll go get your phone, just come back a little closer to the bus, it's a bit dodgy out here.” He chuckles a bit.

You nod and walk back to the bus with him. You lean against the back of the bus as he heads back in. You let out a shaky sigh and decide to light another cigarette.

You’re definitely still crying and at this point, wiping away the tears isn’t doing anything but soaking the cuffs of your hoodie sleeves. So, you stop bothering to get rid of them. Matt returns with your phone and passes it to you.

“Thanks.” You sigh and he nods before giving you a sympathetic squeeze on your arm, heading back onto the bus.

You sigh and call Adam, thankful it was fairly late and therefore the time of discounted call charges.

“Hello?” Adam answers groggily.

“Hey, Ad, sorry I know it's late.” You sniffle a bit.

“No, no worries, are you okay?” Your cousin asks and you hear him shuffling around before the click of the light in his dorm room turns on.

You take a deep breath and say, “Uh, no, not really.”

“Has something happened? Aren’t you still on tour with your mates?” He asks.

“Yeah and uh,” You try not to cry as you say it but your voice is strained. “Alex has got a girlfriend.”

“Oh.” Adam replies.

“Yeah.” You mutter.

“Alex Alex?” He asks for clarification.

“Yeah, Alex Alex.” You nod, even though he couldn’t see you.

“I’m sorry, B. Are you going home?” He asks.

“Uh, that’s actually why I was calling?” You laugh a bit. “I’d really rather come see you lot than go home now.”

“Yeah, course.” Adam says. “I’m not home but I’ll call my Mum and let her know you’re coming, I’m sure she won’t mind… You coming in the morning?”

“Uh, yeah, probably. I don’t wanna wake her up now.” You nod. “Thanks, Adam.”

“Course.” He replies.

“Right, I’ll let you go now.” You take a deep breath. “Sure you need plenty of sleep for whatever biochemistry class you’ve got tomorrow, you absolute nerd.” You tease him and he laughs.

“Thanks, Y/N/N.” He shakes his head. “You get some sleep too, don’t worry about the dickhead.”

You laugh a bit, it was breathy and strained, a light sob was hidden behind it. “Thanks, Ad. I love you.”

“Love you too. See you soon.” He replies.

“Yeah, soon.” You nod and hang up.

The next morning you wake up before the rest of anyone on the bus and quietly pack your things. You write a quick note to Jamie, Matt, Miles and Nick; purposefully leaving out Alex’s name because pettiness gets the better of you.

Nothing too detailed, just that you needed to go home and you hoped they had a great rest of their tour and loved them all. You also ask Matt in your note, to hold onto anything of yours you may have forgotten on the bus.

You sigh a bit as you take a final glance at the main area of the bus, any fun times that included Alex had definitely been soured now. You shake your head and walk out with your bag, calling the number for a taxi service you’d seen in an ad last night and thankfully saved to your phone.

You decide to smoke while you wait and as you take your first drag you hear the bus door open. You hope to literally every higher power that it is anyone but Alex, hell, you’d be alright with Alexa coming out here at this point.

You could at least tell her a lie that you were going to go help your Aunt or something, she wouldn’t be able to tell you were lying. But God obviously hates you.

There Alex is, hair a mess, still in his pyjamas. He holds up the note you’d left.

“You’re leaving?” He asks and you look away from him. Hoping that if you don’t look at his face you won’t start crying like you had last night.

“You shouldn’t read things that aren’t addressed to you.” You say plainly as you take another drag.

“It's not...?” Alex mutters and looks at it again. “Oh.” He frowns. “Why?”

“You’re not an idiot, Alex, you know why.” You reply, glaring at nothing in particular across the street.

“Angel.” He sighs.

“Don’t call me that.” You say, probably a bit harsher than needed.

“Y/N,” Alex corrects himself before he continues. “I didn’t mean to...”

You scoff, “Didn’t mean to what, Alex?” before you turn your glare to him. “Treat me like your girlfriend for these past few weeks?” You spit.

In reality it had been the last few months though. All while he was 6 months deep into his relationship.

“I was going to tell you about Alexa.” He says and looks away from you.

“Yeah?” You ask. “When?”  

He didn’t say anything for a minute.

“I don’t know, eventually, I guess.” Alex shrugs.

“Before or after you got me back into your bed?” You spit venomously as you glare at him.

Alex shifts his weight, clearly uncomfortable with the confrontation from you. A strained and awkward silence settles between you two then. Something that has never happened in all the years you’d know each other.

“You know what, Alex.” You sigh. “If you’re really so in love with her, you shouldn’t have been fucking about with me so much.”

“Y/N.” He sighs and takes a step towards you. “I’m not...”

But you cut him off and hiss, “Oh, fuck off.”

“The notion of them continuing for what is traditionally terrifying forever excites me to an unfamiliar degree.” You quote the letter you’d overheard Alexa reading last night and his face drops more than you thought it even could.

The entire thing had been on repeat in your brain since last night, replacing Only Ones Who Know and 505effortlessly.

“Sounds like love to me.”

Alex begins, “How’d you...”

“I overheard her on the phone last night.” You say.

“Oh.” He nods.

You hate the awkward air between you, when just a month ago you would have been curled up into his arms at this time in the morning. The thought just makes the lump in your throat more prominent though.

“I...” He pauses for a moment, definitely trying to think of the right thing to say. “I hope this doesn’t change anything... With us.”

You scoff again and look away from him. The fucking audacity. The nerve.

“Y/N. Please, I fucked up, I know.” He sighs, almost pleading with you to understand with his eyes.

“That’s an understatement.” You reply and sigh in relief as you watch your taxi pull up. “You’ve fucked up, again.”

Alex’s face twists to a bit of confusion, “Again? What are you on about?”

“Joanna.” You say simply as you flick your now finished cigarette to the ground.

The realisation hits him a bit harder than you thought it would. It may have been four years since that summer, but it still upset you if you thought about it.

And now he’s just gone and done it again to a much higher degree.

"Please, wait a minute." Alex pleads, grabbing your hand gently as you pick up your bag.

"Fuck off." You snap, pulling your hand away and head towards the taxi.

"Y/N, please!" Alex tries again, clearly panicking now, he pleads, "Please let me explain."

"As if you could ever explain this, Alex." You shake your head, turning back to towards the taxi.

All you want to do is cry at this point, you want to be in the taxi and free to let your emotions out. You're so tired of holding everything in. You need to go, and you need to go now.

But Alex rushes after you, this time he grabs you by your waist as he needs you to stop, "Please, lets just talk."

"What else is there to say?" You turn back towards him, taking a step back to get yourself out of his hold.

His touch makes you feel physically sick. You want him nowhere near you.

"You've been fucking your girlfriend every night for the past month with me a bunk away from you! I can hear you both in there!" You can feel the tears threatening to fill your eyes as you speak. You're really not doing well at hiding your emotions because you even sound sad when you say, "And you don't give a single shit... You're doing it as if you weren't fucking me in the same bed days before she got here."

Alex looks shameful, as he rightly should after all the shit he's pulled. But you drive the point home as you continue so he understands what consequences his actions have.

"You've lied to me for months..." Your really using everything in you not to burst into tears as you say, "You've led me on for months, Alex."

And it really cuts you deep in the heart when he can't even look into your eyes as you tell him that. You think he owes you that much after all the shit you've had to watch him and Alexa do whilst she's been here.  

He only looks back up into your eyes when your voice cracks as you say, "I don't even know who you are anymore."

"Please," Alex looks emotional too now, but you turn to walk the short distance left to the taxi. His call of, "I'm sorry." doesn't stop you though.

"Sorry doesn't cut it." You shake your head, not looking back at him.

As you open the back door of the taxi, you tell your so-called 'best friend', "If you find anything of mine, give it to Matt. I asked him to keep a hold of my stuff for me." And you give him no time to respond as you get in the taxi quickly.

"I..." Your best friend starts but you shut the door on him. Alex steps back and looks away from you as he lights up a cigarette. But you don't give him any satisfaction of looking at him again.

"Train station please." You tell the driver and wipe a few tears away.

He glances at you in the mirror and gives you a soft, sympathetic smile before nodding and driving away.

~*~*~*~

You had tried your best not to cry at all while you were on the train to Manchester. Tried was maybe too strong of a word because by the time you pulled into the station, your eyes were red, raw and puffy and anytime you wiped tears away with the sleeve of your hoodie, it stung.

You knew you looked like an absolute mess, but you couldn’t really bring yourself to care. Your Auntie was picking you up and you knew once she saw you upset that would just mean a day of her trying to cheer you up. And you welcomed the thought.

You also knew that when Adam was able to, he would make his way home to hang out with you. You definitely had a feeling that hanging out with the boys would take your minds off things with Alex.

You head out to the front of the station, searching for your Aunt. Instead you see a familiar mop of brown curly hair, you can't help but smile at how excited Matty looks to see you.

He smiles brightly, waving at you. You sniffle a bit, still on the verge of crying again but Matty’s presence definitely holds the tears at bay. So, you gather a little more composure before you walk over to him.

You are a few steps away from him and he quickly closes the space between you two, capturing you in a hug. It really hadn’t been that long since you last saw him, but that didn’t really matter to Matty, he always loves to see you.

“Heya, Wheels.” Matty smiles as you hug him back.

“Hey, Curly. Nice surprise.” You tell him as you two part.

Matty’s eyes look over your face, he can tell you’ve been crying and is a bit sad that this impromptu visit was more because something upsetting had happened and less of a spontaneous trip to come see everyone. You give him a small smile but there is still some sadness in your eyes, and it breaks his heart a little.

“Come on then, let’s go.” He grins as he throws an arm around your shoulder and grabs one of your bags.

You chuckle a bit as you two head over to his van. Matty puts your stuff in the back and you two get in, Matty smiles at you as the CD he had in starts up. At this point, he just wants to make you laugh and smile as much as he can.

You laugh a little as he sings along to the song, he switches between faking playing guitar and drums. It definitely picks up your mood. You and Matty spending the drive singing along to some of your favorites and him goofing off was making you forget everything that had happened, at least temporarily.

Your phone chimes in your pocket and you check it, a text from Alex.

Miss you Angel xx You want to throw your phone out the window as you feel tears start again. At this point you are more frustrated than sad, you shove your phone into your bag and drop it onto the floor.

The motion makes Matty look over at you, he was planning on just asking what was wrong when you two got to your Aunt’s house but now you’re crying in the passenger seat of his van, and he hates seeing you cry and not doing anything to comfort you. So, he pulls into a car park and parks before turning to you.

“What’s going on, Sweetheart?” He asks you softly as he gently places his hand on your thigh.  

“It's nothing.” You mutter, swiftly and harshly wiping the tears of your face.

The stinging sensation again makes you wince a little bit. You just want to be done crying over Alex and you’re exhausted that your body won’t let you stop.

“Y/N.” Matty coos. “You look like you’ve been crying for days, this isn’t nothing.”

You sob but quickly cover your mouth, knowing he hit the nail on the head. Matty quickly undoes his seatbelt and moves to the small open space between the two front seats.

The hug was awkward, Matty elected to just kneel in that open space and wrap his arms around your waist, his head basically resting on your chest. You rest your head on the top of his and basically just sob into his hair as he holds you.

“You’re alright, Sweetheart.” He mutters and places a warm kiss on the only spot he could reach, which was your collarbone.

The feeling warms your broken heart for a few seconds and you really appreciate the comfort he brings you, whether the hug was awkward or not. You can’t wait to get a proper one.

After a few moments, you relax, your sobs turn to small shaky breaths and you try to fully regain your composure. Matty pulls away and reaches up, gently tucking some of your hair behind your ear. His other hand takes yours and gives it a gentle squeeze.

Matty asks in a whisper, “You wanna talk about it?”

“Not in a Tesco’s car park.” You say with a soft and shaky chuckle.

“Fair.” Matty smiles at you a bit, “You wanna go to mine or Hann’s?”

“Yours.” You tell him, you figure his house was likely empty asit typically was, and you just want to be with Matty right now. You’ll see your family and other friends later.

Matty nods and squeezes your hand again before moving back to the driver’s seat. He doesn’t let go of your hand, not until you two arrive at his house and even then he is reluctant to let you go at all.

You decide to leave your stuff in the van and follow Matty inside. He shuts the front door behind you two and gives you a proper, much needed hug. You close your eyes and let yourself melt into his touch as you hug him back.

He was familiar, and that was something that you needed right now. Matty had never once failed to bring you comfort when you needed it most and you were grateful he was here to give you it now.

You and Matty head up to his room once you release him from the hug, you take comfort in these familiar surroundings, too. Matty is patient, waiting for you to be ready to explain what was going on, and whilst he wants to know badly, he never once rushes you.

He picks at the tear in the knee of his jeans and looks up at you as you take a deep breath before you begin to explain your truth.

When you tell him about the time you’d spent on tour with the lads in Arctic Monkeys, you expect him to tease you about it as he typically did when you brought them up. But from hearing the full story of why you were so upset, Matty had come to realise that you weren’t fibbing about knowing them.

There was no way you could be this devastated about someone you didn’t actually know. Matty was watching your heart break all over again as you explained the last few months to him.

Matty would admit there was a bit of jealousy in his heart as you told him what you and Alex had been doing on the tour, but he just pushed it away. You need his comfort right now, not his resentment for the fact you chose someone else besides him. Matty knows that your summer was meant to be just that, a summer. So, he keeps his mouth shut as he listens.

You tell him everything. Except the part about you and Alex losing your virginities to each other.

You may be pissed off at Alex, but you two had promised each other a long time ago that it would stay between the two of you. And so it would.

Instead, you tell Matty that Alex has been your best mate for years and that you two always seemed to pine after each other and how you thought maybe, just maybe, this time would be different. You cry again as you start to tell him what had happened.

But only when you calm yourself down do you realise who you’re talking to. You feel a twinge of guilt, sitting on Matty’s bed telling him about your feelings for someone else, when Matty has always been the one to pine after you.

God, you’re such a fucking bitch.

“Fuck, Matty, I’m sorry, you probably don’t want to hear all this.” You say as you wipe your eyes again. You hiss, “Ow fuck.”

“It's alright.” He says softly and takes your hands away from your face. “Can I be honest?” He asks you and you nod.

“Alex sounds like a cunt.” Matty smiles as you laugh.

“Yeah, he’s kinda been one recently.” You nod. “Hasn’t always been, but recently, he really has been.”

“C’mere, Wheels.” Matty says and opens his arms to you.

You lean forward and hug him, Matty wraps his arms around you and lays back, pulling you down with him. You two lay there in a comfortable silence, Matty lightly running his index finger up and down your spine.

Your breathing evens out and you fully stop crying after what feels like hours. You readjust your position, getting more comfortable but still cuddled up to Matty. He chuckles a bit and places a kiss on the top of your head as you rest your head back on his chest.

“Thank you, Curly.” You tell him.

He hums in response and you let out a soft tired sigh. You feel a lot better, being back in Manchester or maybe more specifically back in Matty’s arms. You look around his room as you two lay there, smiling a bit as you spot the images you two had taken in the photobooth at the fair this past summer.

Your eyes continue to wander and you see a familiar shirt hanging in his wardrobe; standing out from the plethora of dark clothing was your white button up that was covered in peonies. You chuckle a bit seeing it hanging there.

“What?” Matty smiles upon hearing your small laugh now without any hints that you’d been crying laced within it.

“That my top?” You ask him and motion to his closet. Matty looks over at it and grins a bit.

“Yeah.” He chuckles back. “Found it a bit ago, guess you can take it back now.”

“Nah.” You chuckle and grin up at him. “Hold on to it if you want, bet you look better in it than me.”  

“Oh, that, I highly doubt.” Matty smiles back down at you.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: Alex be like “Alexa, play Oops I Did It Again by Britney Spears” smh x

Taglist: @psychkunox @sofiaaraee @thewheeler @cold-hands-cold-eyesss @xovalliegirlxo @vroboat @hoodskillerqueen @woahhealy @emmaheg1005 @belledawnidk @elen-alambil @megann-duff @alexsvacuumcleaner @bshelley322 @g0thwat3rr @cassieinnit​ @ohmyolympusssy​

Add yourself to the taglist with the link in the Masterlist!

[nriacc]

The City | NRIACC: Part 3 |

Nothing Revealed In A Common Crisis 

Plot by @imagine-that-100​​ and @ghostlightqueen​​

Written by @imagine-that-100​

Description: | Here |

Word Count: 12.3k

Warnings: This series contains mature content and themes throughout

A/N: We finally have Mattyyyyyyy!!! So excited to finally get my other boy and my other favourite band in here! I’m super thrilled you’re enjoying the series so far and I really hope you enjoy the new part and all the teenage pining! x

| Series Masterlist | N’s Masterlist | NRIACC Playlists | The Band’s Info | Read on Wattpad | Read on AO3 |

The day after Matt’s party your Mum came home and woke you up from a very deep sleep. She was appalled to find you still in bed at 2pm and you were completely dead to the world.

Nevertheless, she got you up and forced you to pack your clothes that you wanted to take away with you for the summer. You didn’t mind too much but doing it with a bad hangover turned a half an hour job into a 3 hour event.

You got it all done slowly with the help of your best friend, as you both replied to your friend’s group texting every now and again. You let her do most of the texting though because you wanted to save your credit so it would roll over into next month.

Before you left Alex’s the previous night he made you promise again that you would text him over the summer. He even made you pinky swear on it so you couldn’t break a promise.

So to keep that promise you wanted to save as much credit as you could. It was a bitch to have to pay for each text you sent and how long each phone call lasted but it was worth it.

And you were hoping that the feeling you got when you saw Alex’s name pop up on your phone would continue. The bubbling excitement in your stomach and the smile that didn’t leave your face until you put your phone back down waiting for his next text to come though.  

Saving your credit was high on your agenda and so was getting a decent night's sleep. So after your Mum cooked both you and your best friend your tea and you finished it, you politely kicked her out after giving her the biggest hug and saying goodbye.

You went to bed early for the first time in about seven years getting more than 12 hours of sleep so you woke up in a good mood the following day. Thankfully your Mum left you in bed chilling for a while too and you listened to the music channel for the majority of the day after showering.

That was until around 3 p.m. when you got all of your stuff into your Mum’s car and you both made your way over to Manchester.

You really did love your summers up there. It was something you’d done since you were a small child when your Mum used to have to go on business trips abroad.

You always went over to your Mum’s sister to spend some apparently much needed time with your cousin. And you were glad the tradition had continued on throughout your teenage years because you did love having a mini holiday away from home.

Your cousin Adam was one of your favourite people on the planet. He was amazing in so many different ways.

He had a great taste in music which meant that you always had something to bond over. Adam was also really clever in school which you were always envious of.

Two summers ago you were doing your GCSE’s the coming school year and you weren’t doing the best with your science and maths. So Adam being the gem that he was had tutored you, despite him being two years younger than you.

He learnt it as you both went through it and he explained things to you in a way that actually made sense. You loved him loads and he was a big part of the reason why you got good results last summer.

He was a fun cousin, too. Your favourite childhood memories were ones of you and Adam running around your auntie and uncles back garden.

He was creative, like you, but in a more musical way. Adam had been able to play the guitar from a young age and he was really good at it.

Adam could play any song you asked of him if he was given the chords, or he could even sometimes work them out himself. It was like something just clicked in his brain of how to do it.

He was astounding in all the best ways.

So you were excited on your drive over to Wilmslow. You and your Mum were going there early because your auntie was making you and your Mum dinner before your Mum left.

The hour drive wasn’t too bad over there. You caught up with your Mum and how her work had been treating her.

When you got to your aunties house you couldn’t wait to get out of the car, one because your Mum was starting to annoy you with her questions about how your week alone was, and two, she was teasing you about who had left the mark on your neck.

You’d tried your best to cover it up with concealer and foundation but it turns out that you didn’t do a good enough job as she easily saw through the makeup. Thankfully though she wasn’t fuming at you, she just was trying to find out who’d done it.

You ended up telling her that it was just some random boy from the pub the night of the Monkeys gig. You were grateful that she seemed to believe you and she let the subject slide.

You abandoned your bags and rushed up to the front door. You were sure your mum wouldn’t mind bringing your stuff in.

“Hi,” You say excitedly when your auntie answers her front door.

She gives you a big smile before opening her arms to you, offering a hug, “Hey, I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too,” You say giving her a tight squeeze before releasing her.

You ask her quickly, “Is Adam here?”

“Yep he’s upstairs,” She nods.

As soon as thats confirmed you start to race up the stairs. But you’re shouted again before you can escape.

“Before you run off Y/N,” Your Auntie shouts you and you pause halfway up the stairs.

You look back towards her and she tells you, “I’m having your room decorated at the minute and unfortunately it took a bit longer than expected. So the paint is drying so you’ve got to share a room with Adam for a few days until I get everything set back up for you.”

“Oh okay cool, what colour have you gone for?” You ask curiously.

“I went for the white and grey like you suggested last time. Your creative mind paid off,” You Auntie smiles at you.

You laugh at that. Last year she was saying she wanted to decorate it because it still looked like a child’s playroom like it once was rather than the spare bedroom. So you had suggested a neutral but sophisticated look of white walls with a feature one in grey.

“I’m excited to see it,” You tell her.

As your Mum walks into the house with your bags, your Auntie also proposes, “I was hoping you’d help me decorate it?”

“I’d love to,” You smile down at her.

“Amazing,” She grins, “Now go and find who you really want to talk to.”

You laughed a little before you finished running up the stairs to find your cousin.

You turn the corner and push open the very familiar bedroom door into Adam’s room and find him lay down on his bed. You don’t really care about that though because you just run in and jump over him.

Adam groans loudly when you land on him which makes you laugh. You look up at him from the position you're in and ruffle the mop that was his hair.

He had Rumours by Fleetwood Mac playing on his record player that his Dad had given him and you recognised The Chain playing. You loved that your cousin also had excellent music taste.

“Hey Ad,” You giggle at him pulling a face at you.  

“Y/N,” Adam says nonchalantly as if he wasn’t pleased to see you.

You ignore him and ask, “How’s my fave cousin doing?”

“I’m your only cousin,” Adam points out with furrowed eyebrows.

“Exactly,” You chuckle.

Adam laughs before admitting, “I’m good. Mum’s annoying me but other than that I’m alright.”

“Why’s she annoying you?” You ask getting up off of him.

“She wouldn’t let me go to my mates tonight because she was making us all our tea,” Adam said, picking his phone up from the side of his bed.

You ask him, “She wouldn’t let them come here before we ate?”

“Nope, she made me tidy the house,” Adam pouted and you had to refrain from laughing.

“Sorry about that roomie,” You grin, sitting yourself down on the mattress that was on the floor.

Adam sighs, “Don't remind me.”

“Hey I’m fine to share a room with,” You tell him, faking being offended.

Adam rolls his eyes, “Sure you are.”

“I am, I swear,” You defend yourself.

“Whatever,” He playfully dismissed you.

You laugh a little at what he said before you decided to change the subject, “So when do I get to meet your new mates properly?”

Adam looks to you and proposes, “Matty invited us to his tomorrow afternoon to go swimming, if you’re up for it.”

“Yeah definitely,” You nod, “I’m excited for this fancy swimming pool."

“Yeah, just please don’t tell him that I told you about his Mum and Dad. He’ll probably tell you himself. He can get a bit touchy about it.”

“Don’t worry I won’t say anything,” You assure him.  

“Adam, Y/N!” You both hear your names being shouted, followed by, “Tea’s ready!”

“She better stop shouting up the stairs because I’m gunna lose it,” Adam says in a very agitated tone as he gets up from his bed.

You watch him as he abruptly picks the needle up of the turntable and puts it back in its rest. He then removes the record and puts it back where it belongs on his very organised shelves.

“Did you get anger issues for your fifteenth birthday?” You ask him teasingly as you stand yourself up.

Adam fired back, “Did you get sassiness for your seventeenth?”

“Sixteenth actually. Seventeenth was to grow some balls,” You laughed.

~*~*~*~

“Hann?” Adam could hear his friends shouting from the front door.

He couldn’t be arsed moving yet though so he shouted back, “In the lounge.”

“Yes Hann,” George came in and sat down on the other settee to Adam.

“You alright mate?” Matty asked as he walked into the room

“Hiya mate, sit down my mums making us some food,” Adam tells his Matty, moving the remote from the seat next to him.

“Would do but I came to see your fit cousin, not you,” Matty started the running joke early today.

Adam sighed hearing it mentioned again. Since your first Skype call with Adam and his mates had first got a decent look at you, they had all joked that you were attractive and that they wanted to bed you.

Adam knew you would in no way look at any of them that way and he’d tried telling them in every way that you wouldn’t be interested. But none of them listened.

So here his mates were, months later, still carrying this joke on.

“Please don’t carry this joke on, it’s really not funny,” Adam says just sick of it now.

Matty says with a smirk on his face, “Oh, it really is mate. Imma shag your cousin.”

“Like she’d look at you. You’re well younger than her,” Adam bites back.

Matty was lacking for a response but then George stepped in and said, “That’s right mate, she’d definitely go for me instead.”

“You’re younger than him,” Adam points out, trying not to laugh.

Adam didn’t need to encourage the jokes to continue in any way, shape, or form. He needed it to stop.

Especially now that you were here.  

Matty then thinks of a good enough response to annoy his mate a bit more, “Step aside George, it’s gunna be me that she goes for and we’re gunna fuck on Adam’s bed.”

“Fuck off Matty,” Adam says seriously and Matty knew it was time to stop pushing then.

Matty knew that he was going to slowly have to build up his new mates tolerance for his jokes. He knew he was a handful, but that's why he had three good mates to bounce off who had a similar sense of humour to him.

Maybe the cousin topic was just a tad too touchy, though.

“You know I’m messin’… Where is she anyway?” Matty asked curiously, dropping the joking persona for a second.

Adam notices he’d dropped the facade and he tells Matty the truth, “She's up in my room.”

“George don’t let him leave. Don’t want him to disturb us,” Matty says before he hastily exits.

Matty races out of one of the lounge and up the stairs, hurtling towards his mate's room. He obviously wasn’t going to try and shag you, but he was really excited to meet you.

Adam had told them all a lot about you and your interests and hobbies. And each thing that Matty was told just made him more and more curious about you.

“Hey Y/N!” Matty calls excitedly

Matty pushed the door open a bit more but his eyes went wide when he saw you. He saw that you were completely topless standing in Adam’s room which took Matty aback a bit.

He only saw your bare back as you didnt have a bra on but he could see that you had lovely shoulder length Y/H/C hair.

“Shit, I’m so sorry” Matty says with wide eyes before turning himself around.

You turn around hearing the commotion behind you and immediately you want to dismiss the awkwardness that the room had just set in.

“It’s okay,” You laugh a little to try and avoid the awkwardness of the situation.

“I was just grabbing the strings to tie it anyway, you wouldn’t have seen anything,” You tell him honestly, actually amazed that a younger teenage boy was keeping his eyes averted from you as you changed.

“Still really pervy of me,” Matty says, still looking at the doorway he’d just walked though.

“Just a bikini, nothing you haven’t seen on holiday I’m sure,” You make light of it again.

This is when the curly haired brunette looks towards you. You see his eyes cast down to your chest for a split second before flicking up and meeting your eyes.

“Still, sorry. Bit Norman Bates of me,” Matty says, trying not to look at your boobs that were being held in a red bikini.

You smile at him before you pick up your top that you’d laid out on Adam’s bed. You then laugh, “Ey you know your films. That reference was pretty spot on.”

Matty admits to you as he watches you hide your stunning chest from his view, “I’m a bit of a classic movie watcher.”

“Isn’t Psycho an eighteen? Should you really be watching that,” You ask him, knowing he’s a fair few years younger than you.

Matty throws back in the same manner you threw the last comment at him, “Should you really be leaving doors open in a house that isn’t yours when you’re getting changed?”

“Good point, well made,” You nod.

He may have been younger but he certainly had the comebacks that your friends had. You think you’d get on just fine with him.

“Well you know…” Matty chuckles a little but then he remembers something, “Wait, aren’t you seventeen? If Psycho’s an eighteen, why have you watched it?”

Yeah you would definitely get on with him.

“I’m adventurous like that,” You shrug, knowing it wasn’t really a huge deal.

“You’re Matty right?” You ask the curly haired boy.  

He nods, ”That’s me.”

“It’s good to finally meet you,” You smile and offer him a hug.

He takes the offer and steps into your arms for a quick embrace. You feel the need to say, “Sorry I’m a hugger.”

“S’alright,” Matty smiles as he moves out of your grip, but he doesn’t stray too far away.

“I love your hair, it’s so curly,” You have to tell him as you give it a bit of a ruffle.

You don’t think you’d ever seen hair with such perfect curls. He was adorable.

“Er thanks,” Matty says, not really knowing how to take the compliment.  

You just continue to introduce yourself, “I’m Y/N,” You add with smile, “But I think you already knew that.”

“Yeah we did speak on Skype remember,” Matty points out.

“Yes but your video was breaking up remember,” You recall.

Adam’s webcam wasn’t doing too great that night and it kept on pixelating to the point where you couldn’t even make Adam out, despite knowing what he looks like. So you had no chance of making the other boys out.

“Oh shit yeah,” Matty vaguely remembers.

“You excited to come swimming?” Matty asks you with a smile as you pick up your towel and put it in your bag.  

You smile, “I am… Adam has bigged this pool up a lot.”

Matty grins at that, “It is good to be fair. I’m lucky.”

“You really are,” You tell him as you both head to the bedroom door.

Once it’s open you both walk towards the stairs. When you start walking down though you add, “You still shouldn’t be watching eighteen’s though.”

“It’s not an eighteen,” Matty argues back with a smile and shaking his head.

“What are you two arguing about already?” Adam says, stumbling out of the lounge which takes you back a little.

You furrowed your eyebrows at his actions but tell him anyway, “I think Psycho is a eighteen and Matty doesn’t.”

“It’s a fifteen,” Adam tells the both of you.

Matty then looks at you in a victorious manner. Amusement that you were wrong was clear on his features.

“Told you,” Matty grins.

“No you didn’t,” You shake your head, “But you’re still not old enough to watch it.”

“Bad boy, what else can I say?” Matty grins at you and you can’t help but laugh.

Definitely had some confidence, this kid. You were certain all the girls at his school would be loving him.

Another young boy made his way out of the lounge then. He was another brunette and a rather adorable little one.

“Hey,” He smiled at you and you gave him the biggest smile back.

You couldn’t not. He was the cutest thing you’d ever seen.

“Y/N/N, this is George,” Adam introduces you.

“Heyyy,” You smile brightly at him offering him a hug which he seems to gladly take.

Adam sighs and says, “Sorry she’s a hugger.”

George doesn’t get a change to respond though because you say, “Aren’t you the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“How old are you?” You ask when you release him.

“Thirteen,” George tells you.

Your eyes went a little wide at that. He looked older than 13 for sure but he was obviously still just a kid.  

It certainly explained why he only came up to your chest though. Matty being a year older reached your shoulder. Adam was only a few inches smaller than you now.

“Thirteen that’s mental. You look older,” You tell him honestly.

George smiles at that. He liked that he looked older, he just wished that he’d hurry up and grow a bit. So he tells you this.

“Well, I’m hoping to grow some more before I reach your age,” George tells you and you chuckle.

“I’m sure you will, don’t worry,” You smile.

You then ask another question that springs to mind, “How’d you know each other?”

Adam starts off by telling you, “Well, I know George’s older sister because she’s in my year at school.”

Matty then takes over a little which Adam seemed fine with so you just went with it. Matty spoke quite fast as he told you, “And Hann knew that I could drum so he got his girlfriend to ask if I wanted to join his band, so I told her to get Hann to come talk to me himself and the rest is history.”

You unfortunately couldn’t focus on the story of them meeting though because some information, that you hadn’t heard before, came to light.

“Girlfriend?” You question your cousin with wide eyes.  

“Not anymore,” Adam shakes his head.

Your jaw is still agape even when he says that. You have to know, “Adam why didn’t you tell me?”

“You didn’t tell me about your boyfriend,” Adam shoots back at you.

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” You say seriously.

You couldn’t understand why he even thought that. But then it makes sense.

“Your neck suggests otherwise,” Adam smirks knowingly at you.

At that point both Matty and George turn toward you.

You put your hand up to cover the mark that you forgot was there. Thankfully the ones on your boobs were gone but the one on your neck was still very bruised.

“I promise you I don’t have a boyfriend,” You tell him honestly. “It was just some fun at a party. Stop looking at me like that.”

He was looking at you like your best friend and Matt did the night of the party when they spotted it. You hated that look at the moment, he’s looking like he wants to know more information.

“Actually you can stop, I don’t wanna know what you get up to at parties,” Adam says shaking his head at you but the smile never leaves his lips.

You laugh at him then. And you decide to get your own dig in at him.

“I’m sure you lot have some fun at your parties, especially with your girlfriend Adam,” You tease.

But before Adam can reply, you turn to the smallest one of you. You throw your arm around George’s shoulder saying, “Not you though George… You need protecting, you’re too cute.”

“I’m not cute,” George rolls his eyes.

“You really are,” You grin before letting him escape.

You think back to your previous conversation though, about the band, and say a little baffled, “I’m confused though, I thought you were the drummer…” You point to George, “and you were the singer,” you then point to Matty.

“I am now,” Matty tells you, “We got George in because our original singer quit.”

“Ah right okay,” You nod, now understanding.

“And we have Ross as well. He’s meeting us at mine later though. He’s out somewhere with his mum and dad at the minute,” Matty tells you.

“Sweet, I’m excited to meet him,” You smile at the three boys.

You’re about to ask something else about the band but then you hear your auntie shout you all into the kitchen for some food. You all start making your way to the kitchen.

“Hann, are you gunna bring your camera so we can push Ross in the pool?” George asks Adam and he laughs before nodding confirming that he was.

You turn to Matty as you walk and ask, “Why’d you call him Hann?”

“We know a lot of Adams,” Matty tells you. “And by a lot I mean at least twenty.”

“Fucking hell fair enough then,” You say under your breath to him as you all walk into the kitchen.  

An hour later you were splashing about in Matty’s pool with the three boys, still waiting on the arrival of Ross. You were in your red bikini which was one of your favourites.

You’d bought it for when you went away to Spain last year with your Mum in the Easter holidays. You’d been really excited and this bikini was by far the best colour and the comfiest one to wear.

You were messing around on floats that Matty had already blown up, trying to tip each other off it. You were currently on the float and the boys were trying to get you into the water when you heard a phone go off.

It seemed to grab everyone’s attention because the boys abandoned attacking you.

“Adam is that your phone?” You ask curiously.

You couldn’t remember for the life of you what his ringtone sounded like.

But your cousin shook his head, “Nah.”

“It’s mine,” Matty announces before he starts swimming as fast as he can to the side of the pool.

Something then seems to click in Georges mind because he then shouts, “It’s gunna be Ross.”

“Shit yeah,” Matty says as you slip back into the water, off the crocodile float.

“Adam quick get your camera.”

“You pushing him in or am I?” Matty asked George as everyone swam to the side of the pool.

“Y/N you’re gunna be the distraction so just keep him chatting,” Matty instructs you.

You once again felt like you were eight years old and taking orders from other friends creating devious plans in a fake story you were acting out. Your friends in primary school always made up weird scenarios to play out, like children did.

But you don’t think you’d ever pranked someone like this since you were around that age. It was going to be funny, but you also hoped Ross would see the humour in it.

“Hiya mate…” You heard one side of Matty’s conversation as Adam got out of the pool to get his camera ready and George waited near the door. “Yeah just come in, gates unlocked… See you in a sec.”

Matty then abandons his phone and jumps back into the pool near you. You guessed that you all had to make it seem normal somehow.

You think responsible for a moment and tell them, “You need to get his phone off him first before you push him in.”

“Yeah you’re right,” Adam agrees with you.

You’re about to reply before Adam abruptly says, “He’s here.”

You all settle into a weird silence before everyone loudly greets Ross as he walks in. Jesus, they couldn’t be more obvious if they tried.

“Why are you out of the pool?” Ross questions the other two.

Adam recovers quickly though, telling him, “George wanted me to film him doing a front flip.”

“Fair enough,” Ross nodded before he turned back to George.

Before a conversation could start though, Adam grabbed his attention once again by asking, “Oh Ross, whilst I’m out of the pool, can I put my new phone number in your phone?”

“Yeah sure, why’d you change it?” He asks your cousin as he hands his phone over.

Your surprised at how quick witted Adam is when he replies, “SIM card broke.”

“Ah right,” Ross believes him straight away.

“Ross, this is the famous Y/N,” Matty says, throwing an arm around your shoulder.  

You laugh at that, needing to question, “Famous ey?”

“Yeah, to be fair your cousin speaks very highly of you,” Matty tells you and you’re surprised by that.

You don’t get a chance to question Adam on it though because Ross greets you, “Hey Y/N/N, how you liking Wilmslow?”

“It’s great,” You nod, “I’m loving the pool.”

“Yeah it’s sick,” Ross grins. “I’ll just change and get in.”

You sincerely doubted that, but you had to keep a straight face for the sake of the prank.

Just as Ross turns back around from the edge of the pool, George decides to take his chance as he successfully knocks his friend off balance and Ross goes crashing into the water.

The splash gets you and Matty in the face, but you aren’t too fussed because you were both laughing. Adam and George start laughing too, completely buzzing that the plan worked.

It seems that George’s victory ends up with him too jumping into the pool, and you once again get splashed. Laughter fills the whole room until the two heads pop back up.

“What did you do that for?!” Ross shouts towards George when he returns to the surface.

You could see that his once soft face was now red and bubbling with anger.

George laughs a little, thinking his friend was joking, “It was just a joke mate.”

“No, you arsehole that wasn’t funny,” Ross

“Oh, lighten up a bit,” George says dryly, throwing a small pool float at him as he walks out of the door.

That just seemed to piss their friend off more though. Ross looks absolutely fuming when he turns back and picks up the small donut that is meant to be a floating cup holder.

“Wanker,” Ross yells as he throws the small pool float at George with some force.

You try and suppress your laughter because you can see how fuming the poor boy was. But that just got ten times harder when George chuckled and Matty let out an audible laugh too.

Matty swims to the side of the pool as Adam twists the camera back around towards you. Ross had walked back out into the garden again, trying to control his rage.

That didn’t seem to be working well though because the next thing you knew he was shouting again.

“Ugh! Fifteen quid as well you stupid cunt” Ross shouted obviously even more angry after checking his pockets and feeling that the money was now wet.

“What?” George asks not hearing his mate correctly due to the water around you all still sloshing about.

Matty repeats his mate's question, “What?”

Ross appears in the doorway once more before half sighing, half seething, “Fifteen fucking pounds, George.”

Ross turns back around though, not wanting to look at his cocky mates grinning at him.

“What was?” George shouts after him.

“In my pocket,” Ross tells you all pacing back towards the doorway.

“Fifty?” George questions in disbelief obviously not hearing how fuming his mate was.

“Fifteen,” Ross confirms looking sorry for himself as he headed back outside.

George then offers a solution, “It’ll dry, hopefully.”

“Yeah but… It’s just…” Ross begins to trail off, trying to control his anger again.

Bless him, you were starting to feel really bad.

“Money’s fine,” Matty says.

“Yeah money’s fine for you when it’s in your fucking house dry Matty,” Ross shouts back before he then shouts at Adam.

“Turn that fucking camera off,” You hear and the next thing you know Adam is hastily putting his camera back into his bag.

You decide you should probably step in now and get them to wave the white flag.

You look to the boys in the pool just beside you, not wanting to completely direct it at George, “Right I think this all went a bit too far… Maybe someone should just go and apologise and ask him to come in.”

Matty shakes his head and George says, “Nah.”

“Awh come on I wanna meet him properly and you don’t want him to be pissed off at you all day,” You pout in hopes that would work.

“I guess,” George says before he swims to the side of the pool before pulling himself out of it.

You smiled at the youngest of the boys as he did the right thing and headed off to make amends with his friend. You hoped that Ross was alright and that he’d calmed down a little.

The last thing you wanted was for you to get off on the wrong foot with him.

With the peaceful water of most boys being out of the pool, you decide to just take a minute to yourself. You loved being in the water.

You forgot how fun swimming could be and whenever anyone would suggest it back home everyone else would shrug it off saying it as boring. But if you were with your friends, nothing could be boring.

That didn’t also mean that you didn’t like a peaceful moment in the water. You’d done it a few times when you went away with your Mum last Easter.

You just lent your head back and bask in the silence that the water provided. Granted it wasn’t the same as being in Spain, but the tranquil feeling was still there.

Matty watched you as you lent back into the water so only your face was above the surface. And then time just seemed to slow for Matty then.

He didn’t hear the noise outside that caused you to look back up. All he was focused on was how beautiful you looked in such a peaceful state.

He felt like he was watching you in slow-motion when your wet hair, now dark from the water, followed your movements back above the water. There were also small droplets on your eyelashes which just added to how much your Y/E/C eyes stood out.

You just looked at peace and in the moment and that was beautiful to him.

“You’re really pretty,” Matty said before he could stop himself.

Matty rarely knew when to keep his mouth shut but he didn’t want to just come and outright tell you that. He didn’t want to seem creepy so he felt like he’d shot himself in the foot when he said that.

You’d started treading water again but when you heard those words leave the young boy's mouth, you turned to look at him. You thought you’d turn to him and see him recoil and take it back, maybe feeling embarrassed and him shying away.

But no. Matty was looking at you completely sincerely.

“Thank you,” You said, offering him a small smile.

Thankfully for Matty’s sake the three other boys came racing back in and this time all three of them all consensually jumped into the pool, with George doing a front flip in the air.

Laughter once again filled the room and when the brown haired boys all resurfaced you figured now was your time to meet Ross properly.

“Hey, it's nice to meet you properly and at the same height,” You smile at him.

His hair was now stuck to his head as if it had been completely gelled back.

“Yes it’s nice to see you in person instead of a shitty video call,” Ross smiled at you.

“Yes our Adam needs to get a new webcam,” You say splashing a bit of water towards your cousin.

The water went straight into Adam’s face and when he reopened his eyes, he didn’t look too impressed. That was when he splashed you with a lot of water and it also hit Matty, too.

“You bastard,” Matty said to him.

Matty’s splash then got George and before you all knew it a massive water fight broke out. It was truly mental but it was so much fun.

You all went from a water fight to you all messing about on the floors again. Then you were all jumping in and out of the pool rating each other's jumps.

You all spent a good few hours just messing around like kids which seemed to fly by in no time. You’d had such a fun day though and because the days were longer you all hadn’t realised how much time had passed.

It was 6:30 p.m. when Denise, Matty’s Mum, decided to check in on her eldest child and his friends. She knew that they were using the pool and she wanted to check they were all okay, and to see if they were hungry yet.

So she headed out into the garden and crossed it over to the outhouse that contained the swimming pool and a handful of teenagers.

“Hiya Mum,” Matty called from the other side of the pool which caused you to turn around.

“Hey kids how is everyone?” Matty’s Mum said as she looked around the children who were in the other one.

She wasn’t expecting to see a pretty female in the water though.

“Oh hello, I didn’t know we had another guest,” Denise beamed.

You swam over to the side so you could politely greet her, “Hi, I’m Y/N, Adam’s cousin. Matty said it was okay I come. I really hope it is.”

“Oh yes of course, the more the merrier,” She smiles at you. “You’re welcome anytime… I’m Denise.”

“It’s nice to meet you, you have a really lovely house,” You smile as you get out and grab your towel to wrap it around your shoulders so you could be truly polite and say hello.

“Awh thank you darling, it’s my pride and joy along with my boys. Especially having another baby now and it's not just Matty running around.”

“Matty didn’t tell me he had a sibling,” You tell her looking down to Matty in the pool and he just shrugs at the both of you when you look at him.

Denise shakes her head a little, not surprised at her son's lack of contribution to the conversation.

“Yes we have little Louis. He’s two years old now and he’s pottering around the house like he owns the place.”

“Awh he sounds so adorable. I can't wait to meet him.”

Denise asks you, “How old are you dear?”

“Seventeen,” You tell her.

“Oh so you could be an on-call babysitter for the summer then?”

Matty then groans and rolls his eyes, completely embarrassed, “Mum don’t.”

Denise eases her sons worries by saying, “Matty I’m just joking.”

“I honestly wouldn’t mind if you needed me to. I'd be happy to help.” You tell her.

“I might take you up on it,” She grins at you.

Matty is about to complain again but then he realises that it could mean a night in with you at his house. He already liked you a lot so if he could get to know you better that would be amazing.

“Just let me know, it's not like Adam isn’t already trying to kick me out of his house,” You laugh little and Denise joins in.

She asks you where about you were from and different things every parent asked a new child that they met. She was really lovely though and you think she took a liking to you.

After a five minute chat she could see that you’d started to get cold near the open door so she let you get back to playing in the pool. Something which you were very thankful for.

The water was somehow warmer when you got back into it which was a relief to your now cold body. You started swimming about again to try and feel a little warmer.

“Mum,” Matty calls just before she leaves the outhouse.

“Yes darling?” Denise asks, turning back a little.

Matty points over to the side, just by the shelves in the corner of the room, “Could you please take a few polaroids of us all before we get out?”

Denise agrees and Matty then begins to round you all up. You all get close to each other for the picture and you decide to wrap your arms around Adams neck so you can keep yourself above the water.

Denise ended up taking a fair few different ones of you all. You did two smiling normally and then you did three funnier ones where you were posing or pulling faces.  

Matty said each of you could take one home which you thought was really lovely of him. You liked that a kid of that age wanted to take photos to remember fun times as a kid.

Denise left the pictures she’d taken on the shelf on the side and five minutes later you all got out of the pool so you could go inside for some tea. Denise had told you that she was going to put some pizzas in the oven and they wouldn’t take too long so you all wanted to get dry before you went in the house.

You’re one of the first out of the pool and you’re really curious about the polaroids as you’d never actually taken a picture with one or kept a photo. You loved the retro aesthetic of it, with the white frame around the outside of the photo.

You definitely wanted to get one at some point in your life but because the new digital age was coming into the world it made the cameras harder and more expensive to get a hold of. So that would be something you would definitely look into buying when you got started looking for jobs when you got back to Sheffield.

You headed over to the shelf that now held the five pictures and after drying your hands on your towel, you picked them up. The posing ones were actually really funny but the one that you liked the most was the one of you all smiling up at the camera like goofballs.

Your arms were wrapped around Adam and you were both smiling up at the camera with cheesy grins on your faces. Ross was just to the side of Adam and Matty was to the side of you also wearing a grin. George was positioned on the other side smiling too with his arms in the air, looking like he was having the best time.

It was a really lovely picture and one that you intended to keep for a very long time if Matty would let you.

You didn’t just want to take it without double checking that he was serious about you all taking one each. So you decided to ask him if it was okay.

“Matty, would you mind if I had this one?”  

“Nah, not at all. Go for it,” He smiled at you.

“Thank you, I really appreciate it,” You tell him honestly.

Matty nodded his head at you, still smiling a little before he looked to the picture.

He smiles as he looks at it, saying, “That’s a good one.”

“Yeah,” You smile. “The others are really funny, I'd choose which one your keeping before the others get a chance.”

Matty ended up going for the other one that was all smiles, leaving the other three to take their pick of the fun ones. You all ended up getting changed in the separate little changing area, which thankfully had a toilet, so you had some privacy and didnt have a repeat of how you’d met Matty.

You all then proceeded to have a really fun evening in the presence of Denise and Tim, Matty’s Dad. You also got to meet Louis and he was the cutest little thing you had ever seen.

You actually hope that you’d be asked to babysit because he was such an adorable child. Even at the age of two you could already tell he was going to be the sweetest kid growing up.

You were really thankful that Adam had introduced you to his friends, and for the fact that they all took to you so well. Instantly you had felt like one of their group, despite the age difference, and you hadn’t stopped laughing the entire afternoon.

When you all started watching some Saturday night TV in Matty’s lounge, you couldn’t help but glance at your polaroid picture very now and again. You really loved it.

Especially now it was dated and you’d all signed it.

You looked at the photo again and thought it was perfect. It had captured your joy of seeing your family and meeting some new friends perfectly and you were glad that moment had been caught forever.

The only thing that ruined it, ever so slightly, was the clear and obvious love bite on your neck.

~*~*~*~*~*~

If one more person mentions the mark on my neck I’m going to come home and strangle you x

You send that text off to Alex with a sigh. Since Adam had pointed out the mark on your neck his mates had started joking about it too, which your Auntie and Uncle then heard and also gave you that annoying knowing look.

But it had just been brought up again because the boys asked if there were any raunchy scenes in the Italian horror film that you were all currently watching. You’d told them that you’d chosen a mild one for them to watch because you don’t think you needed to scar poor little George with some raunchy sex scene.

You were watching the 1987 Italian horror Deliria which you had to explain to the boys that in the UK the film’s name had been changed to StageFright. They were actually pretty willing to watch it as you’d briefed them a little what it was about.

They asked you how you knew and why you watched Italian horror films instead of normal ones and you explained that in your love for it because you and all your college friends watched them together. This was true, it started when you all had to watch a different mild one in your English lessons.

You, Matt, Alex and your best friend had decided to all go round to Matt’s house and watch the film the night before your English exam on the film.

“What? So you watch the raunchy ones with your mates?” Matty asks you, laughing a bit.

Nod with a little smile, “Sometimes.”

“Yeah, of course she does, where do you think she got that mark on her neck?” Adam says with a cheeky smile and you immediately wanted to die.

“You’re not funny,” You tell them as you hide yourself into the sofa a bit more.

That was when you typed out the message to Alex before putting your phone down to concentrate on the film.

This film was a pretty bloody one, there were a lot of people being killed and it was quite suspenseful. And you were glad the boys around you seemed to like it.

You were watching one of the murder scenes when your phone went off again. It was about half an hour later when you got a text back.

You felt your heart skip a beat when the alert came through and a hopeful smile found its way onto your face. You really wanted it to be Alex’s reply.

You picked up your phone and you were delighted to see that it was a text back from Alex. You unlocked your phone and went onto your texts.

You click the unread one with Alex’s name in bold and your eyes go wide seeing his reply.

Can’t promise you I won’t like it xx

You felt yourself blush so hard. Your cheeks instantly heated up and you sunk into the settee a bit more trying to contain your squeal and smile.

Never in your life had you reacted like this over a boy texting you. You’d never had a boy flirt with you before either so it was an all round new experience.

You were so excited when the text came through that you didn’t notice that the boys in the room took notice of the noise too. You were so wrapped up in your phone that you didn’t know Adam watched you open it and saw your reaction to it.

You were only brought out of your little moment of weakness by Adam saying, “Come on then.”

You look up at him and note that he was talking to you. You raise your eyebrows trying to urge him to continue.

Although you wish you didn’t when you heard what he asked.

“Tell us about this boy,” Adam teases.

“There’s no boy,” You defend yourself but your voice gives it away.

You were too high pitched at the end of your sentence for you to not be lying.

“You’re literally texting him now,” Adam states pointing to the phone in your hand.

He then sarcastically adds “Or did you just go all shy and flustered because you enjoyed the murder that we just watched.”

You start to stutter over your words thinking of excuses but you can’t find the words. So you just give in and ask, “What do you wanna know?“

George gets in there first and asks, “What’s his name?”

You mumble, “Alex.”

“What’s he like?” Adam pries with a little smirk on his face.

You don’t know what to say so you just embarrassedly say, “He’s really nice.”

Ross chuckles at that but Adam doesn’t care for your embarrassment. He wants details.

“A little more enthusiasm please,” Your cousin pries.

You scoff at him then, “Excuse me for feeling a little embarrassed that I’m talking to my cousin and his mates about a guy I’m speaking to.”

Adam starts prying more information out of you but Matty wasn’t really paying attention. Not to your words anyway, he was just looking at you.

If he hadn’t fancied you the first day he met you, seeing you in that red bikini, he most certainly fancied you now a week into being here. It was a bit overwhelming for Matty.

Upon meeting you he had no intention to actually form a schoolboy crush on you, despite his joking with Adam about it. But he was sorely mistaken, he fancied the fuck out of you.

He was mesmerised by the way that your face looked as you yapped on about some other boy.

Your smile and the way he could tell you were slightly embarrassed by talking about it. He just kept watching your lips and it was mental that even with one of his favourite films playing on the TV, the only thing he wanted to look at was your mouth.

You were also playing with the ends of your hair which to Matty looked really soft. The soft grin that was on your beautiful face also made Matty’s heart rate increase.

He wanted to be the cause of the way you were feeling right now. He truly wanted you to one day be as excited to talk to him as you were about this boy.

Even at something as simple as a text.

So that was when Matty made himself a promise. Matty was going to one day be the cause of your happiness in a romantic sense.

He knew he wouldn’t succeed anytime soon because he could tell that you thought of him as a kid. But Matty wasn’t going to forget about his promise to himself.

He would work at it and try and make you see that he wasn’t the kid you thought he was. He was going to make you fall for him, whether it took five years or ten, he wanted to call you his.

~*~*~*~

A week later the love bite had thankfully faded and was no longer a problem of yours. Despite Alex texting you promising you that he’d give you another one when you got back home, you told him there was no way.

You tried not to think about the very flirty texts you’d been receiving the past fortnight as you were sat in your Aunt and Uncles’ living room listening to the band have a bit of a practice.

They were coming up with a few songs they wanted to cover as they hadn’t started writing their own songs yet. You were sat next to Matty watching him with his guitar and he started strumming away a vaguely familiar tune.

You couldn’t place it though because Matty was just playing the chords but not singing the lyrics as he was listening to Adam and Ross discuss different song possibilities.

“What song are you playing?” You ask Matty quietly not wanting to disrupt the others’ conversation.

Matty grins at you and carries on playing the tune as he asks you, “Do you not recognise it?”

You nod, “I do but I can’t put my finger on it without the lyrics.”

“Aw, what a shame,” Matty says sarcastically.

You scoff a little and say, “Aren’t you meant to be the singer? Sing it.”

“Only because you asked so nicely,” Matty laughs a little and then he plays through all the chords once more before he starts singing.

You smile as soon as you recognise it to be one of your favourite Backstreet Boys songs, As Long As You Love Me. You couldn’t help but smile at the love song.

Who didn’t love a good love song?

You sat back and listened to Matty sing. He was pretty good and you could tell he sometimes struggled with a few notes but that was nothing for him to be worried about.

Alex was the same. Singing was something that people got better with the more they practiced and you could tell that Matty and all the boys in the room weren’t going to give up on this band for the longest time.

Even the Monkeys at home didn’t have as in depth discussions as these lot were having. So you were really looking to forward to seeing how they all gelled together as a band and you were already excited for the inevitable gigs that you’d be asked to attend.

You grinned at Matty when he finished singing half of the song and you told him, “That was really good. You’re good at singing.”

“You think so?” Matty asked.

You nod, “Yeah, you’ve got a different sound. I like it.”

Matty’s face held a grateful smile and was going to express his gratitude towards you saying that but Ross and Adam stood up quickly. This grabbed yours and Matty’s attention, especially when Ross stood up too.

“Right you don’t all have to leave, I’m not that bad at singing.” Matty furrows his eyebrows at his mates.

That caused the boys to laugh a bit but they all shook their heads.

Adam informed the both of you, “Nah we decided to give it a break for a bit.”

“Gunna go park.” George said with a cute little smile.

“Ah, yes!” Matty said, sounding extremely enthusiastic, before he too stood himself up.

Ross then asked Matty who was putting his guitar back into his case, “Is all our stuff still in your garage?”

“Yeah, should be. So we can chuck the instruments round at mine for our next practice and then get the stuff and head out, yeah?” Matty said and you could almost feel his excitement.

You felt a little out of the loop at this point because you had no idea what Matty was referring to or what needed to be collected from his house to go to the park. You didn’t mind going to the park with them because it was something you still did with your friends.

Granted you don’t think you’d be drinking with 14 year olds in this park but you were still excited to go out with them.

“Come on.” Ross said, offering you his hand to help you up.

You smiled and gladly took it. As he pulled you to your feet, you asked, “So where are we going?”

“Skatepark,” George tells you and your eyes widen as you start following the boys into the kitchen. Evidently you were all leaving through the back door, possibly because you all needed to tell Adam’s Mum and Dad where you were all going.

“What?” You ask, completely dumbfounded.  

“You heard. We’re off to the skatepark.” Adam tells you with a mischievous smirk.

Your Uncle looks to you all congregated at the back door and before you leave, he asks, “Which one are you all going to?”

“Just the one on the park. Think Y/N/N would be a bit overwhelmed if we went straight to the indoor one.” Matty tells you uncle.

You furrow your eyebrows at him and he looks at you with a cheeky mischievous grin. He doesn’t give you any time to argue back because they all scurry off outside and you're already lagging behind.

“But I can’t skate.” You call to the boys in front of you.

George brushes your comment off with, “Don’t worry about that.”

“Well, I am pretty worried.” You say honestly.

Adam turns to look at you and sees that you’re actually being genuine. He’s a little shocked because he thought you’d be up for it, so he just tried to ease your nerves a little.

“Look, you’ve got the summer with us, we can just teach you.” Adam says, not letting you back out of this.

He knew you’d enjoy it once you’d got the hang of it.

Ross nods, giving you an assuring smile as you now walk beside him, “It’s not like there isn’t enough of us to help you out.”

“But I don’t have a skateboard.” You say.

You were really clutching at anything to get out of this situation now.

“I have like three, you can use one of mine,” Matty tells you as you all walk down the road towards Matty’s.

“But-“ You begin to make up an excuse but you were cut off.  

“No buts. We’re going and you’re gunna learn.” Matty persists and you sigh.

You knew you weren’t going to win this one. You were silent for most of the walk to Matty’s house, your nerves getting to you a little bit.

You weren’t that adventurous so you knew you were bound to hurt yourself. You just hoped that they wouldn’t leave you to fend for yourself because you’d be bored out of your mind.

To take your mind off the inevitable looming situation, you asked the boys a question in an effort to distract your mind. “What’s the band called by the way?”

“At the minute we’ve gone for ‘Me and You Versus Them’.” Ross replies and you just contain your confusion at the band name.

However, you couldn’t really say much when your friends back home were in a band called Arctic Monkeys.

Before you knew it you arrived at the local park and your stomach dropped when you saw the concrete ramps with multiple people skating across them. Never in your life were you going to be able to do this.

You looked down to the board that Matty had lent you and you can already feel your heart in your mouth.

Looking back at what, to you, looks like a mountain of concrete, you say to the boys surrounding you, “There’s no way I can go on that.”

“Oh no. Don’t worry, you’re not.” Matty assures you before he points to the caged tennis courts that were empty just to the side of the ramps.

“We’re going in there and starting you off on a flat surface.” Matty tells you before he ushers you forwards towards the abandoned court.

The other three boys went over to the skatepark and got stuck in pretty quickly. So it was just you and your nerves with only Matty to assist you in easing them.

After thinking how to start, Matty took the board he was letting you use from you.

“Right so, stay there.” He said and walked across the court from you. “Now run over here!” He called to you once he’d reached the opposite end of the court

“What?” You laughed.

“Just run over here!” He repeated. You were confused but did so anyway, Matty kept an eye on which foot you started on and chuckled a bit. “Right, you’re goofy footed like Hann. Must run in the family.”

“Rude?” You laughed a bit.

“Nah, it just means you put your right foot out first, Ross does it too. So that means, your right foot is gonna be in the front and your left will be in the back. Right, nose. Left, tail.” Matty explained and set the board he was lending you down. “When you’re on you wanna make sure to have a bit of bend in your knees and keep your balance like here.” He stated and put a hand over his stomach. You nodded as he set his board down as well. “Easiest way to start is to just...” He walked up to his board and just got on like it wasn’t even there. “Just like you’re walking.” He called as he pushed off once more, he turned back around and smiled as he came to a stop in front of you. “When both your feet are on the deck though, you wanna keep ‘em sideways. You only have your right foot pointed forward when you push.”

“Okay.” You chuckled a bit. “So right foot in the front for me yeah?” You asked him and he nodded. “And I just walk?” You confirmed.

“Kinda yeah. Same motion, more pressure to move forward. Then to stop, just put your back foot down on the ground again.” He smiled. You took a deep breath and walked up to the board, it shifted beneath you as soon as your foot put an ounce of pressure on it.

“I’m gonna eat shit.” You laughed.

“Nah, here, I’ve got you.” Matty laughed and walked up, half next to and half in front of  you. He patted his shoulders. You chuckled and put your hands on his shoulders lightly. “Right now just push with your left like you’re walking.” He grinned and you did so, you wobbled as the board slowly rolled forward but Matty steadied you as he walked along with you. “That’s a good start.” He grinned. “George full on slammed his face into the pavement his first time.”

“Aw, poor thing.” You chuckled lightly and pushed off again.

“Ah, he’s a fucking klutz, none of us were surprised.” Matty chuckled, he had let go of you now, noticing you’d found your balance properly. “Now, he does shit like that.” Matty nodded to George in an empty pool, skating around with ease and doing some tricks with the other skaters. “George can do it, you definitely can.” Matty grinned at you again. You skated to the other end of the tennis court and stopped as you reached the fence.

“Hey!” Matty cheered. “Come back so I can tell you how to turn!” He called and you laughed, picking the board up and setting it down properly before just going for it and skating back over to him, picking up a bit more speed than you meant to.

You put your foot down to stop a little too late and ended up taking a few stuttered steps passed Matty as you let out a slightly panicked yell. He laughed a bit as you walked back over to him.

“So you need to work on timing, definitely.” He teased you. You rolled your eyes and lightly punched his shoulder. “There’s two ways to turn.” He stated. “Leaning... Which...” He kicked the board you were using up and caught it, checking the part the wheels were attached to. “Should work on this one, the trucks have enough give and kick turns. For kick turns...” You listened as Matty explained exactly what to do, he got on his board and showed you both types of turns. 

Once you’d gotten your turns, pushing and riding down, you just rode around the empty tennis court for a bit. Matty asked if you wanted to learn a trick as you stopped in front of him.

“Already?” You laughed.

“Yeah, pretty easy one.” He nodded. “If you get two down today, you could probably kick flip pretty well by next week.” He grinned.

“You say that like I know what it is.” You chuckled.

“Ah, don’t worry about it for now.” He said nonchalantly. “I’m gonna show you a flat shove.” He said and showed you the trick a few times as he explained it. You nodded a bit and stood on your board, he walked you through it again. Really a surprising good teacher for a teenager. “Right, you’ve got it!” He grinned as you successfully did the trick a few times.

“You’re kidding, I did not.” You laughed a bit.

“No, I’m not, go on. Do it again.” He encouraged you and you did.

“Holy shit.” You chuckled.

“Now you’re gonna ollie.” He smirked.

“We’re gonna fucking what?” You laughed a bit.

“Watch then I’ll explain.” He smiled and skated away from you, the trick he was talking about put the board in the air beneath him. He landed it with ease and turned around, skating back to you with a grin.

“You’re kidding.” You stated. Matty shook his head and explained it to you. “You’re kidding.” You repeated.

“I’m not.” He laughed and explained it a bit before showing you a few more times. “You can totally do it. You don't have to be moving, you can just stay still at first.”

“If I break anything, you’re making it up to me.” You teased him.

“You won’t break anything.” He laughed. “Just don’t fully straighten your knees and you’ll be fine.”

Ollies were definitely the one that put you on your ass the most. The other guys had migrated over to the tennis courts from the ramps to watch.

“You’re on ollies already?” Adam asked, he seemed proud and amused.

“I’m fucking trying,” You laughed and tried again. And again you landed on your ass. “Ugh!” You groaned as you leaned back.  

“I think she could probably kickflip by next week,” Matty told them.

“That’s ambitious,” Ross laughed.

“Can one of you lot show me a kickflip so I can decide if I even want to learn it?” You laughed.

“Yeah.” They all said together. You started sitting on the pavement of the tennis court, thankful for a bit of a break. You watched each of the guys do the trick Matty was so sure you could learn by next week. “You’re absolutely mad thinking I can do that by next week.” You told him as he skated over to you.

“Ah, ye of little faith.” Adam laughed as he joined you on the pavement.

“Shut up.” You laughed. “Fucking kickflips, you’re all mad.” You shook your head.

The first couple of days, you had to take a bit just to get to grips with the board and where you needed to place your feet to stay balanced and everything again. You got the hang of it with the help of the boys and each day you needed less time before you were trying the easier tricks they were teaching you to prepare for the kickflip.

They each took their turns helping you out whilst the one that was previously with you went and had some fun on the ramps. When you needed a bit of a breather you went over and watched them, and you were completely astounded at what you saw them do.

They were doing tricks left, right, and centre. You were jealous of their skill, but they assured you that with practice you could do all these things too.

After the first week you were skating on the flat ground pretty well and you felt really comfortable doing it. So then because you weren’t ready for a ramp or anything like that just yet you got Matty and the boys to teach you how to do a kickflip.

Something that did take you a lot of practice to get right. But the serotonin that your brain released when you actually did it made you want to do it again and again.

You felt like you could do anything. Even if it was only a little stationary kick flip. After you’d landed your kickflip a few times, George called you and Matty over to the smallest of the ramps. “Come on, Y/N.” He encouraged you to come over to where he was standing in the middle of the ramp, thankfully the other skaters in the park were preoccupied with the higher ones and the empty pools.

“What are we doing now?” You asked as you and Matty joined him.

“Pumping, get you ready for ramps at some point.” George smiled and showed you what exactly pumping was and talked you through how to do it. Matty joined him.

“Okay but you two do the opposite foot of me.” You chuckled.

“Hann!” Matty called with a laugh. Adam about ate shit at Matty’s sudden shout and you held back your laugh, Matty and George laughed loudly.

“What?” He asked as he walked over.

“Come show her how to pump, we aren’t goofy footed.” Matty said.  Adam chuckled.

“Its what they showed you just reverse, Y/N/N.” Adam said as he began to show you. “All you change is your footing, promise.”

“Right, okay.” You nodded and set your board down, you fell into a rhythm with your cousin.

“Alright, Wheels!” Matty encouraged you, he’d just been watching you practice for a bit. You really were doing great for only doing this for about a week.

“Wheels, huh?” You laughed at him and smiled as he gave you a goofy grin and a shrug.

Adam showed you how to get from the middle of the ramp and up to the platform as well as a few other basic ramp things that you would need to eventually do tricks on the ramps. You leaned forward a bit too far on one of your ups, and your board flew out from beneath you but you thankfully caught yourself against the edge before you slammed face first into the edge of the platform above the ramp. The boys all asked if you were alright and you gave them a simple thumbs up  before pulling yourself up to sit on the edge. Matty grabbed your board and joined you. You two joked around as you watched the others skate for a bit.

You were now at the level where you could stake to the park on the board which seemed to be much to the boys' relief. They must have all just been itching to get on their boards and skate away from you the first week.

Now you could actually do it yourself, you wanted to be moving that fast all the time and let the breeze flow through your hair.

You’re all currently skating to the park again and Matty makes a conscious effort to make sure you were alright and were straying too far behind. You were thankful that he was looking out for you but you think you could also sense some ulterior motive.

You weren’t stupid, you could tell when kids had weird crushes on people older than them. It was like how you could somehow see little girls taking a strong liking to boys that were much older than them, even sometimes to their teachers.

It was weird but you just tried to ignore the 14-year-old flirt and laugh what he sometimes said off. Thankfully it wasn’t anything that you couldn’t handle, and you just kept it to yourself.

If anything, it kept you entertained. Not that you would ever go there. The thought repulsed you.

Once you all reached the park you just assumed that it would be Matty teaching you something new in the tennis court again, so you headed straight over there. However, Matty shouted you over to near the actual skatepark.

You assumed that he was going to make you watch him do something again, maybe in an attempt to show off. But you were sorely mistaken.

Matty ran his way up the ramp with his board in hand before he turned back to look at you. You were still on the ground, not knowing what he wanted you to do.

But what he did want was a complete surprise.

“Right, come on up here.” Matty says, gesturing at you to walk towards him.

You move closer, not sure you were hearing him correctly, “What?”

“You heard me, come here.” Matty smiles, already seeing your nerves.

You walk up the concrete ramp and Matty offers you his hand which you take. He helps pull you up onto the top of the ramp and you feel very high up all of a sudden. Despite it being maybe only a meter high.

Regardless, you were missing your flat tennis court right now.  

“Okay, so now you’re going to learn how to drop in.” Matty tells you and your heart drops.

You shake your head, “Absolutely not.”

“Erm yes. Come on,” Matty says, moving you both towards the edge of the ramp.

You’re very hesitant and pull back against him leading you forwards. You argue, “Matty, I can barely skate on a flat surface.”

“Are you joking?” Matty asks with furrowed eyebrows, “We all skated back to Hann’s yesterday and you kept up fine, plus George and I’ve been helping you with pumping the past couple days.”

“That doesn’t mean I’m prepared to do this.” You say looking down at the bar that lines the edge of the ramp.

“Can’t I do a slope or something first, maybe a smaller ramp?” You ask, feeling your heart beat faster.

Matty sees how nervous you are so his face softens. But he doesn’t let what he’s trying to help you complete go, “Y/N/N, this is a mini ramp.” He laughs a bit as he gestures to the higher ramps around you. He smirks, “Would you rather learn fast or just pussy out and never do more than a kickflip?”

“You’re fucking nasty, you.” You told him with furrowed eyebrows.

He knew you’d been practicing your hardest to perfect a kickflip. He was buzzing for you when you’d done it but that was a little nasty of him to now use against you.

“Listen, you’re gunna slam, no doubt about it. But you’ve gotta try it and you’ve gotta learn.” Matty tells you with a grin.

You could already tell that he was going to get a kick out of watching you fail a few times. But at least you could tell that he did just want you to progress onto the next thing.

Matty was just glad you seemed to be enjoying his company though. And every time you looked at him and smiled when you did something right made his little heart beat so much faster.

Every time you caught him looking at you, he felt himself blush and he felt the need to take a few deep breaths. Needless to say, Matty had it bad.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: Really hope you all enjoyed it! Let me know what you thought! x

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[nriacc]

NRIACC ~ Coming May 21st

@imagine-that-100​ and @ghostlightqueen​ would like to announce that NRIACC Part 1 will be posted on 21st of May 2021.

More info:

 - The fic and everything to do with it (moodboards, memes, images that go with the chapters) will now be posted on this account. 

 - Both Dot and N run the account (and are very excited about getting the fic underway). If you decide to send in asks, N will sign her responses with 💜 and Dot will sign hers with 💛   

 - No slander will be tolerated towards either band members before the fic begins. eg. If you’re going to relentlessly hate on either band for no reason then this fic is not for you.