#nvm I severely over estimated my time here
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I don’t know what I need to be happy but I do know I absolutely need to move into my own space and I need to spend a lot of time creating spaces for myself both outside in a home and online
#I’m really good at the online one#but I’d like to also be in video format#it’s like. i want to be very very true to myself. no acting allowed. no deciding which version of myself to present#but I also want to be the idealized version of myself#the version of myself that is happy and excited to wake up#someone who greatly enjoys the little things in life and has time for themself#and I know that’s an option. i know it is#and it looks so possible from here in this hole that I know I can’t leave until I move out again knowing how much better it gets#but also. all my problems don’t magically disappear by moving out and I know that too#most of them do tho#last year I didn’t have much time for myself. i spent a lot of time online which I don’t regret in the slightest#i just need to figure out how to balance school time to myself and friends and online#and probably work#update looked at my bank account yeah balancing work too how did I manage to spend 600$ in a month????#no more going out like twice a week or having the mindset of oh I only spent 60$ today I’m doing good!#I’m all like ooh yeah I have a good job I can totally buy that! and I can. but oh god I gotta limit the treat myself attitude#if I just don’t spent money I could have my money goal saved by the end of summer I think#nvm I severely over estimated my time here#anyways. I’m really bad with time management but dear god do I need to get better at it for a shot at peace in my life#soup talks
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