#oh 100% they were unnecessary but i love n+c bad ends personally

[dmmdconfessions]

[Image text: am i the only one who thinks the sex scenes in the bad ends are unnecessary? im probably not the target audience but like?? i'd take an extra regular sex CG with its fluff and occasional dubious shenanigans rather than the ptsd-inducing scenes of my 2 favorite characters stuck in the void screwing each others genitals to bits or someone's ham-fisted acrotomophilia fetish (only exception is koujackoff's bad end. cum aoba is best bad end aoba.)]

[softjades]

a simple guide to calling customer service

before i start i just want y’all to know that i’ve worked at two different call centers one retail and one bank. also, these are just helpful hints and do not apply to all situations. Listed the main topics up top, and I’ll go into more detail below the cut. (I got wordy and also this is kind of like a reassuring thing not a we laugh at you after the call is over thing)

1.) Don’t be afraid to ask 2.) Have as much information ready as possible, please 3.) Write things down if you need to 4.) I love stories, but not when they’re unnecessary. 5.) Politeness is nice, but you don’t have to go overboard 6.) I’m sorry you had to wait, 1, 5, 10 minutes to speak to me

1.) Don’t be afraid to ask!

This applies to a lot of things!! Have a question that you’re really curious about but don’t want to sound silly? Ask it! We probably know the answer, and if we don’t we’ll get you in the direction that you need to go for the answer. The only time a question is silly is if you heard the answer clearly the first time then proceed to ask it three other times during the duration of the call (see point 3). This also applies to services. If you want something expedited ask if it can be and we’ll (probably) say yes and go over the details of it (whether it’s going to cost extra $$$ and the time frames) Or, like if you see you have some points expired please feel free to ask if they can be renewed. Ask to see if we’ll waive the fee. The worst we’ll do is say no (after trying), and we’ll probably try to break it to you as gently as possible.

Oh! And don’t be afraid to ask us to repeat an answer or spell something out! Words are weird, and the amount of times I’ve confused n and m and t and p is ridiculous. 

Also, Also, if you have preferred pronouns, or don’t want someone calling you Mr./Ms. just let us know! Certain companies demand us to speak to customers in polite ways that have us assuming gender and what not but we will call you whatever you’d like during the duration of the call (but pls keep it appropriate) (altho i have literally had customers whose last names were butts and weiner. Appropriate really doesn’t apply to surnames lmao). 

Another tip, too, is that if your voice often gets confused by phone agents for a different gender than what you are you can ask to change your name so it has a Mr/Ms in front and so like if your name is Jane Doe, you could have us put Mr. Jane Doe and when you call in saying you’re Jane Doe we’ll call you Mr. Doe rather than Ms. Doe if that’s what you prefer. This is something banks can do easily if you’re waiting for legal name change documents to come through or if you just prefer Mr to Ms. Totes up to you. Just ask c:

ASK FOR ACCOMMODATIONS IF YOU NEED THEM. YOU CAN’T READ YOUR STATEMENT BECAUSE THE PRINT IS TOO SMALL ASK US TO LARGE SIZE IT. IF YOU NEED A TRANSLATOR PLEASE, PLEASE, I’M BEGGING YOU ASK. BECAUSE I WOULD RATHER KNOW YOU UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANT THING THAN FOR YOU TO NOT UNDERSTAND AND HAVE A NEGATIVE IMPACT AND Just it makes me feel better being certain that you understand and know what’s happening to your account/order/rewards/etc. Both my retail and bank job had things set up to get translators on the line, but it’s not something we can offer because it is rude when someone is doing their best to speak a second language. Like, if you understand me then I will figure things out on my side, don’t worry, but like, even if it’s just easier or more comfy to speak in your first language especially regarding important things feel free to ask.

2.) Have as much information ready as possible, please

This is kind of case by case, but a lot of times, especially if you’re calling in about information regarding finances/insurance/etc it does help if you have your account/card number with you to verify that we’re in the right account and to assist you with your question. ALSO don’t put it away until the call ends! This goes both for a lot of things because your customer service agent may need you to reference information off of it to proceed further into the account if necessary. (I have put away cards before and then had to dig them back out so like, even when you’re behind the phones it’s completely understandable if you forget.)

If you’re calling about retail and you have a membership or an order number it does help to have that information up front. (I’ve also been in a case where I didn’t realize I would need a membership number regarding a situation so NBD. This is mainly like a heads up kind of thing and like it literally happens to everyone esp if you don’t call all the time. Or ever. (I don’t like calling people that’s my job.))

If you don’t have this info handy just prepare to give more information about yourself so they can find your account/order/etc! (But if they ask you for your SSN and you didn’t call them and they’re also not your bank I would not do it and just say you’ll call back another time or skip this part (This is in the case of retail asking if you’d like to sign up for a credit card). That’s okay, too! It’s happened to me, and if we’re from a legitimate company we understand and won’t be dicks.) (Also, there’s no rule that you can’t just hang up on someone. It’s not polite, but sometimes it’s necessary. Trust me. I’ve hung up on inner company transfers because the person I was trying to transfer the customer to was being awful.)(And there’s no rule that says you can’t call back and speak to someone else because let me tell you there’s a lot of information/policies handled by the company and there are very few representatives who will know everything.)

3.) Write things down if you need to

This is one of those things that I find helpful, especially if you’re talking about finance/banking/important things that you may need to reference later. Credit cards, especially, are confusing. Even being trained to help with credit cards it still took me probably three months before things started to click and I understood it myself. In these cases when you’re calling someone who has been trained and handled multiple accounts that they just seem to be slinging numbers around you might want to jot some of those things down. Especially if you’re better visually than auditory (like me. why did i go into this job? ah, yes, $$$). 

And it can be for more than just finances, too. Reward programs can get confusing, and honestly, it’s better to have pen and paper ready and not need it, than need it and not write anything down. (My mom had a bad habit of grabbing anything close by (using junk mail) and jotting down phone numbers on it and never titling it so we didn’t know if it was important or not so junk mail just floated around in our house for years.) 

4.) I love stories, but not when they’re unnecessary.

This is kind of mean, but please understand that I’m talking to 80-100 people in a given day and it’s exhausting. I know that your story about this situation/inconvenience/tragedy/luck is important because it is! It’s so important, but... certain companies believe that customer service can be taken care of in a time limit, and when you start going into a story about how you were on vacation or on a business trip or your child is getting married/having a baby and it just slipped your mind in all this excitement that you have bills I would honestly prefer it if you said, “Hi, sorry, I forgot to pay my bill could you waive my fee?” Because then I can say sure let me check and we can be done in two minutes. 

And honestly, this is not a Rule and doesn’t apply in every situation because sometimes it’s important/helps if you say sorry i had a medical emergency and forgot to pay my bills because with some companies that’s a difference between a yes and a no (BUT YOU DON’T HAVE TO GO INTO DETAILS AND GOOD COMPANIES WILL NEVER FORCE YOU TO PROVIDE DOCUMENTATION BECAUSE THAT’S JUST... NOT GOOD. Also maybe a privacy issue? I mean, they are definitely going to keep track of how many times you say it, but like, again, not going to force you to provide documentation because that’s just not right.) 

Another thing that makes this a hard rule is because like, sometimes it’s nice to communicate in a way that doesn’t make me feel like a robot. Like how’s the weather oh yeah it’s good/bad/rain! But again, don’t feel like you have to go out of your way to say something because we’re used to it. Things are not always black and white.)

Also, I used the fee example big time in this, but like, even for other situations like I lost my package or like, there was a mix up in packages, just say, hey, I got someone else’s package, here’s my order and here’s their order help?? And the majority of companies will have procedures in place to get it taken care and most of the time it will be at no additional cost (and you could even probably ask for expedited shipping for the inconvenience and it may be free? Possibly. Depends on the generosity of the company and if they would rather give you things and not fight demand.)

5.) Politeness is nice

And just general civility is good, but please don’t feel like you have to go out of the way to compliment someone because like... The best compliment... For some workers at call centers... Is getting off the phone ASAP rather than spending 5 minutes complimenting you. Or!! If you want to compliment them, compliment the service they provided! Say like hey you helped me out with all my needs thank you! 

Don’t compliment your service rep on their voice. For the most part. I’ve just had a lot of dudes get really interested in my voice and it’s gone from oh that’s nice to holy fuck i’m creeped out I Need An Adult who has a deep voice. Also, it’s just awkward because I’m trying to do a job and like I’m not good at distinguishing most voices (Other than the day I got lucky and got two of the most beautifully accented voices in a row that I had to restrain myself from asking them to just keep talking forever. That was a good day. I almost cried at my luck.) so it makes me feel even more awkward to return the compliment (because that’s the only thing I can go off of on a phone call. I can’t just say you have really cool hair. Oh shit. I totally could, The best... Prankcompliment.)

6.) I’m sorry you had to wait, 1, 5, 10 minutes to speak to me

This isn’t the case in all scenarios, but like, everyone knows retailers are trying to downsize and this is also happening to call centers (Laughs at the board one of my call centers had boasting 500 customer service reps. There was only like maximum 100 customer service reps by the time I left and that was mainly during Christmas.) So if you don’t like holding for someone to assist you (completely understandable. I would like it if you also didn’t have to hold) please feel free to ask your rep to leave feedback/speak to a manager or supervisor/post on social media/send in a letter/etc. Because companies do listen. Sometimes it just takes a 1,000 different people complaining or puttiing in the effort to leave feedback to let them know there’s an issue so like. If you want something to change tell someone! Just don’t expect it immediately. And if there’s not a bunch of other people in agreement it may not happen. But it never hurts. 

What’s the worst that will happen? Someone might say no, but that’s all.