#oh last thing if this gets flagged im gonna hurt somebody

[nate-shaw]

sad (natey) boi hours | nathaniel eli shaw : march 23rd, 2001

steal my sunshine | portugal the man : i was lying in the grass on sunday morning of last week, indulging in my self-defeat. my mind was tugged, all laced and bugged, all twisted wrong and beat a comfortable three-feet-deep. minimum wage | blondes : i don't know if i wanna go home today, am i winning if i’m still living on minimum wage? boys are drinking underage, i was told that we'd all stay the same old house, the same old place. oh yeah, you gonna cry? | lovejoy : you got the same eyes as your father and you carry the same kind of temper too, and then she told me that she fucking hates you. now, now, you need to calm down, what good's this energy when you devote it to me? why not be a little more friendly? fleabag | yungblud : cause i'm just a fleabag, nobody loves me, send me to rehab, somebody touch me. im not your monkey, i'm not your puppy, i'm just a fleabag.  paranoid | palaye royale :  for a while was in denial, my mother’s least favourite child. all these fucking voices in my head tell me i’m not good enough for them, they just leave me paranoid. all these fucking voices in my head got me feeling insеcure again.  corpus christi | kevin abstract : see when I think about me, i barely think about me. i think about the people that surround me, and how i let 'em down. i'm doin' that right now by even fucking talking bout this.  go wrong | hauskey : i get suspicious if i get my wishes, if i’m doing great, then something must be wrong. i know it isn't healthy and it doesn't help me but i sit and wait for something to go wrong. all i want | the offspring : how many times is it gonna take til someone around you hears what you say? you've tried being cool, you've played by their rules, now it's their turn to try. so back off your rules, back off your jive cause i’m sick of not living to stay alive. leave me alone, not asking a lot, just don't wanna to be controlled.  seven nation army | the white stripes : the message coming from my eyes says, "leave it alone,” don't wanna hear about it. every single one's got a story to tell, everyone knows about it from the queen of england to the hounds of hell and if i catch it coming back my way i’m gonna serve it to you.  in the end | linkin park : i kept everything inside and even though I tried it all fell apart. what it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard, i tried so hard and got so far, but in the end it doesn't even matter.  enough | hippie sabotage : i got an appetite for destruction, i’m on a warbed that I'm gardening. bitch you can see me from a fucking mile away i ain't scared you can all come on in. all this trouble shit ain't new to me.  pumped up kicks | foster the people : daddy works a long day, he be coming home late, and he's coming home late and he's bringing me a surprise cause dinner's in the kitchen and it's packed in ice.  rage | dirty heads feat. travis barker and aimee interrupter : while beer bottles busting in, rushing to find the door feel solid on the outside but you're boiling at your core. greater suffering becomes such things as joy, and happiness is fleeting when you're bleeding on the floor. i take a beating smile with the greeting, life is a meaning or quite misleading pipe when I'm dreaming.  misery business | machine gun kelly & travis barker : second chances, they don't ever matter, people never change, once a whore you're nothing more. i’m sorry, that'll never change and about forgiveness, that we're supposed to have exchanged...i'm sorry homie, but I passed it up, now look this way.  boy | maisie peters : you claim your dreams are always lucid but you're just high and can't tell the difference. she tries to get closer, so you go and ghost her like it's perpetual Halloween. you're obsessed with your father, red flag and a half, yeah, babe, we could unpack it for weeks. fuck you, goodbye | the kid laroi : it's the last time i let you hurt me. fuck you, goodbye, i did not deserve it, none of this bullshit was ever really worth it. you blame me like I know I ain't perfect. i tried with you, and i lied for you.  therapy | mac miller : how many times you 'bout to let them opportunities pass you by? i used to be a pretty passive guy, since before i was a goddamn mastermind in that castle of mine, i came up in half the time as these lame fucks. you can't rush that greatness, that mansion where my maid lives.  i think i’m okay | machine gun kelly, yungblud, travis barker : i guess it's just my life and i can take it if i wanna but i cannot hide in hills of California because these hills have eyes, and i got paranoia. i hurt myself sometimes, is that too scary for you? watch me, take a good thing and fuck it all up in one night. catch me, i'm the one on the run away from the headlights.   going through changes | eminem : i lock myself in the bedroom, bathroom, napping at noon. yeah, dad's in a bad mood, he's always snapping at you. marshall, what happened at you? can't stop with these pills and you've fallen off with your skills and your own fans are laughing at you. it become a problem you're too pussy to tackle, get up. be a man, stand, a real man woulda had this shit handled.  numb little bug | em beihold : do you ever get a little bit tired of life, like you're not really happy but you don't wanna die? like you're hanging by a thread but you gotta survive? like your body's in the room but you're not really there? like you have empathy inside but you don't really care? like you're fresh outta love but it's been in the air? am i past repair?  wake me up when september ends | green day : here comes the rain again falling from the stars, drenched in my pain again. becoming who we are as my memory rests but never forgets what i lost. wake me up when september ends.  pretty toxic revolver | machine gun kelly : i feel his pain because it probably won't be until the day i die that they love us, but trust, every nomination i don't get, every list that i ain't on is a reminder of why i wrote songs in the first place - as a way to escape where I came from. 

[imaginebeauty]

Second Chances // Part 13

Second Chances Masterlist

Masterlist

Words: 1305 Pairings: Bellamy x Reader Warnings: Nothing really? Episode: 2x01 The 48; 2x02 Inclement Weather

References: Hallelujah; Vincent van Gogh

Author’s Note: This part is very much a filler consider not much happens inside Mount Weather until the whole Cage problem so some episodes might be mashed together. There is something in this chapter that will be referred to later on, and I’m not going to tell you what it is. When it comes back in a later part you’ll know because I will make is super obvious.

       You opened your eyes, only to snap them shut at the intense brightness. You carefully opened your eyes again, trying to let them adjust. Once you were sure you weren’t going blind, you looked around the room you were in. It was completely white except for the paintings that hung on the wall.

        You sat up, but when you moved your arm you felt something tug at it. Looking at your forearm, you realized there was an IV hooked up to you. Yanking from your skin, you stood up and looked around the room. Everything was white, all white. All except a painting, that had blues and yellows framed in a beautiful wooden frame. 

        “Vincent van Gogh..” You mumbled, looking over the painting. 

        “Very good,” A deep voice said, making you jump and swing your head around to see who it was. You saw an old man who had wrinkles and white hairs from his long life. “Do you know what it’s called?” He asked, meeting your eyes.

        “Oh, um, it’s called Starry Night Over the Rhone by Vincent van Gogh painted in 1888,” You answered. “Who are you?”

        “I’m President Wallace. I didn’t know you were an artist,” He stated, trying to make conversation.

        “I’m not, that’s Clarke. I just know a lot about art. My mother liked it,” You said hesitantly. 

        “Ah, what do you like to do?” He asked.

        “I like poetry and music,” You answered. “Where am I?” 

        “You, my dear, are in Mount Weather. Don’t worry, we aren’t going to hurt you. Some of your friends are waiting for you. I’ll bring you some clothes,” He stated, before walking out of the room, closing the door behind him.

        You followed him and looked out the glass window into the hallway.  

        In what felt like forever, someone rolled in a hanger full of clothes. You shuffled through your choices, a giddy feeling rising in your chest. It’s been forever since you’ve seen decent clothes, let alone dresses. You picked out a nice blue dress and brown sandals.

       You looked in the mirror they supplied with the clothes and noticed your face was still nasty. There was a gash across your nose and cheek, a cut directly in the middle of your bottom lip, and bruise around the side your face by your eye. 

        You walked over to the window again and knocked on the door, hoping someone would let you out. A couple minutes later, Wallace returned and opened the door, gesturing you to walk out. You followed behind him silently, eyes frantically scanning your surroundings but all you saw was concrete walls. 

        When you stepped into a room, your eyes landed on a group of teenagers, and you instantly recognized 2 of them.

        “Y/N!”

        “Jasper! Monty!” You called, running up and hugging the two boys. 

        “Is Finn here? Bellamy?” You asked, hoping that they were both ok.

        All you got was a sad shake of the head.

        You sat across from Monty and Jasper. You ate your piece of chocolate cake, moaning at the delicious dessert. “This is single-handedly the best thing I have ever eaten in my entire life,” You stated, earning giggles from Jasper and Monty as they enjoyed their desserts.

        Y’all continued to goof around until Clarke started making her way over. 

        “Hey,” She greeted, though there was not a hint of warmth in her voice.

        “Sup,” You greeted back, your inner teenager coming back alive.

        “Sit down and pretend you’re happy to see me,” She demanded.

        “We are happy to see you,” Jasper said.

        “They gave us a map with no exits. I need you to tell me everything you’ve seen. Every room, every hallway, ever way out,” She ordered.

        “Way out? Look around you, Clarke. There’s no one hunting us here. First time in our lives we’re not hungry. Why would we want to leave?” Jasper argued, and you silently agreed with him. You liked it there, it was peaceful, happy. They had art you only seen in books and on computers from the Ark, but they actually had them. They had music, beautiful music. You never wanted to leave.

        “Because we have friends out there who need our help,” She stated coldly, making you look down at your food.

        “They’re looking for survivors, and they’re way better equipped to find them than we are,” Jasper pointed out.          

        “This place is too good to be true,” She stated.

        Jasper got up to get cake and was later followed by Clarke, though you stayed with Monty.

        Your conversation was interrupted when alarms started screaming at you. You instantly knew who did this, as you darted up and towards the commotion to find Clarke threatening to pull a lever.

        “Clarke, no!” If you pull that lever, these people will die. Even a little radiation can kill them,” Jasper pleaded as a girl held a gun to her.

        “Don’t make me shoot you,” The girl said, a look of fear on her face.

        “Wait. Wait. Clarke. Don’t do this,” You begged. Clarke was your friend, and you didn’t want her to get shot.

        “I don’t believe them,” Clarke said.

        “Why would they lie? Listen to me. We are safe here because of you. We’re safe,” You stated.

        “Not all of us,” She argued, making you sigh.

        “I’m the one that fired the rockets. Should I not have done that? Clarke, when you pulled that lever, you saved lives. Don’t throw that away by pulling this one,” Jasper begged.

        Bellamy sat on the ground, tied to a pole in the Ark. He sat in silence until Kane came to interrogate him.

        “How long are you gonna keep me locked up in here?” Bellamy asked, his face stone cold.

        “Until I’m confident you’re no longer a threat to others. Where was the last time you saw Y/N? Was she okay?” Kane asked first.

        At the sound of your name, Bellamy’s heart started to race, though his expression suggested otherwise. “I last saw her on the dropship with Clarke and the others. She was fine.”

        Throughout the next couple weeks, you were exposed to a lot of things. Wallace showed you the original Starry Night by Vincent van Gogh, your mother’s favorite painting. He gave you books and books full of poetry and showed you music you never knew existed.

        Sitting in the empty room full of paintings and books you scrolled through one of the many books of poetry.

      You read about half the book, before deciding to take a break and listen to some of the music Wallace gave to you. Putting the little iPod thing on shuffle, music started to play. You listened to one song, in particular, and suddenly it was as if you had to listen to it again. Finding it, you put it on loop, making yourself memorize the lyrics. 

        “And I’ve seen your flag on the marble arch / And love is not a victory march / it’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah..” You sang in a hushed voice as you walked around the huge room, looking at all the historic pieces of art. “All I’ve ever learned from love / Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you / And it’s not a cry that you hear at night / It’s not somebody who’s seen the light / It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah..” You loved the song, it reminded you of something your mother would listen to. 

        “Y/N?!” Someone called, snapping you out of your daze. 

        “Yeah?”

        “Time for supper.” 

        “Ok, I’m coming,” You replied, leaving the paintings and making your way to the mess hall.

Tagging:

@otaku-fangirlse @random-fandom-lady @blue-berry-barry-allen @krystyna-exe @in-my-dreams-200  @youtubehelpsmesurvive @damagedbrokenbuthappy @famchester      @s-wood @mayasmedberg @two-worlds-collab @got17kookiesss @leenasleena-blog @okaybellarke @pinkleopardss @im-socialy-awkward-no-joke

[xbatman69x]

Q&A

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? 
Give the fact that actual text was my bestfriend id say
I love you. 2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed? 
Not a damn thing 3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?
Yes full heartedly 4. Is your last name longer than six letters?
A total of 9 letters 5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?
Sober, but I need a new kiss tho 6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up? Yeah with her..I’m a shit head though 7. What does your last received text say? 
“IM OFF TOMORROW HEYYY❤❤❤” from my bestfriend lol 8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?
A lot but I honestly forgot how it felt so Idc 9. Where was your last kiss at?
At my room door 10. When is the last time you saw your sister?
I haven’t seen that hoe since last night ☺️ 11. What do you drink in the morning?
Water 12. Where did you sleep last night?
Couch , like I am tonight 13. Do you think relationships are hard?
Not always. 14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? 
Yes, I’d change my last relationship, like it would have never happened lol 15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?
Probably , like always . 16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?
Rainy ❤️ 17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?
Yes like a lot of girls because my middle name is so common af 18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?
Jeans 19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?
Honestly no 20. Does anyone like you?
I want her to like me but she doesn’t ..and idk I think this one guy does but guys are dumb af and I’m not interested 21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?
Um no? Lol 22. Is the last person you kissed gay?
No , idk shit drugs make you do crazy shit 23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?
Yes , the ex of the girl I’m in love with . 24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?
Yes I have one and I want another one 25. In the past week have you cried?
Dude, fuck yeah. 26. What breed was the last dog you saw? 
My American bully 27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?
Out of the shower lol 28. Have you ever kissed a football player?
Nope 🙃 jocks hate me tbh 29. Do you think you’re old?
Gonna be 20 in 7 months 30. Do you like text messaging?
My iMessage is fucked up so lately it’s been phone calls 31. What type of day are you having?
It was okay but I hate when she’s sad or mad 32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? 
Yes I’ve had it pierced and re pierced as well as double septum 33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?
Cold , honestly. 34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you? 
My nephew , he’s my world , and my brother Jacob lol 35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?
Relationships, but summer flings aren’t that bad..as long as the fling continues every summer lol 36. Are you a simple or complicated person?
COMPLICATED AF 37. What song are you listening to?
None at the moment . 38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?
Yes! Like damn.. ;-; 39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?
Yes my bestfriend !! 40. What made you start liking the person you like now?
She’s beautiful , very lovely and I mean her soul..that shit is so deep and beautiful ..I want to touch every part of it .. 41. When did you last receive a text message?
9 mins ago and I haven’t replied, it was my bestfriend but she knows I’m doing this questioner so HI JEN! ❤️😭 42. What is wrong with you right now?
Well the fact that she lets people hurt her is what’s wrong with me that shit hurts my feelings 43. How well do you know the last female you texted?
Bishhh that’s my bestfriend , watchuuuu mean?! 44. Does anyone disgust you?
Everyone who’s hurting her feelings rn disgust me! 45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?
Yes, Lyza ..inna heart beat 46. Are you in a good mood right now?
No because I’m worried about her.. 47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?
My grandma ?? .-. 48. What color shirt are you wearing?
I’m wearing my jimmy Hendrix purple haze shirt so it’s black and purple 💖 49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?
Yeah, “friends” 50. Anyone you’re giving up on?
..feel like giving up on trying but tbh only person I have up on was myself 51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?
..no , because they were everything to me at one point .. 52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?
Yes, right now but I can’t 😩💔 53. Do you like rain?
Bishh YESS it’s beautiful 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks? Honestly kinda 
55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? Yeah lol 
56. Do you like to cuddle? Fuck yessss 
57. Are you shy? Yeah it sucks but I'm getting better at it 
58. Do you get along with girls? Well I try to but other girls think I'm weird af 
59. Have you dated the person you texted last? No she's my bestfriend tho . 
60. What do you carry with you at all times? My phone 
61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? Lol yeah but I'd probably die in there too haha 
62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months? Yes 
63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship? Yes I was .. 
64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? Yes , it's heart melting 
65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week? Yeah, Lyza did , duh 
66. How old are the last three people you kissed? 15 or 16 (I don't remember) the other was like 24? and the other one was 35 ..I know weird ass age gap lmao 
67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? Pay because I suck at shit like that 
68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? Um idk leopard bc white gets dirty faster 
69. Do you have any stickers on your car? Yeah an American flag lmao 
70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? Luke Bryan dude Tf 
71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone? iPhone wanting an android 
72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut? Too fucking long lol like in Dec . 
73. Do you like diet soda? Yeah it ain't that bad 
74. What color are the walls in your room? Turquoise 
75. Are you 16 or older? I'm 19 
76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? Yeah I stopped at season 4 tho 
77. Do you have a job? Yes lmao I work at Dairy Queen 
78. What are your initials? D.R.C 
79. Did you ever have braces? Yes the last day of 5th grade to like 10th grade lol 
80. Are you from the south? Yes , south Texas yo 
81. What does your last status on facebook say? It says "oh my goshhhhhhh..." 
82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? Marco.. Yeah kinda 
83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? My mom, fuck my dad 
84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics? Fuck no lmao but I was a dazzler manager in like 5th grade 
85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? Madeas Halloween 
86. Do you smoke? Nope 
87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? Flip flops?? 
88. Is your phone touch screen? Yes lol 
89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? As is lol 
90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? Like one time lol and I had went to whataburger and came back like at 4am 
91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? Pool, Tf you never know what's in them lakes and shit 
92. Have you ever made out in a car? Yes .. 
93. …Had sex in a car? Does oral count ?? ._. 
94. Are you single or in a relationship? Single dude 
95. What were you doing last night at midnight? Talking to her I think if not I was dead ass sleeping 
96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? July 4th .. 
97. Do you like the camera on your phone? It's ighttt 
98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? Yes ..I have lol 
99. Have you ever passed out from drinking? Nope ! 
100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? Lol um no Tf 
101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? Yeah, I recently lost my virginity to this dude (he was my be at the time but loosing my virginity was not my choice but like he was very controlling and manipulative and abusive so I felt like I didn't really have a choice) but like he shoots blanks so .. 
102. Name your favorite Kesha song: Dude I don't even remember any Kesha songs but the one about glitter was alright 
103. Do you have any tan lines right now? Um no? Idk lmao 
104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? I wear my boots most of the time but shorts are a no go like fucking ew for me on me ..like yeah ...