#oh my sweet gregor jeff

[festival-of-pudding]

Ohhhhh one word prompt time? Yesss~

“Reincarnation”

insp.

In every lifetime he returns to me. 

The circumstances differ, but his blue eyes remain the same.

In Tenochtitlan he was one of the hated invaders, armor on his chest and zealotry in his heart; and yet when we met in battle I could not kill him, nor he me. We recognized in each other a kindred soul, though we differed in every possible way. He renounced his warlike life, and I took him to my tecpan and kept him hidden from the people in the city. We lived and loved together in glorious passion for many years. Then one day he tried to pet a jaguar and it ate him.

In Lübeck he was the master of a sailing vessel and I a wandering merchant (or so I claimed). Though he did not recognize me, our desire for each other was as unchanged as it was irresistible, and at our first touch his true self was restored. This time I did not bring him into my life but instead joined his, and together we sailed the world in freedom to love as we wished. Then one day he decided to try swimming with sharks instead of dolphins.

In London he was the idle son of an aristocrat, living only for earthly pleasure but never truly finding it, until he found me. What he thought merely a dalliance with a visiting diplomat became the next reawakening of his true self. Together we lived the life of Victorian country gentlemen, hosting lavish parties and causing gossip and scandal with our barely-controlled fiery ardor. Then he challenged some guy to pistols at dawn and forgot to load.

In New York he was an illiterate dockworker, toiling for the robber barons, earning a few dollars as a boxer at night. I encountered him while importing wine during Prohibition; he was rough and uncouth, and it took much persuasion (and soap) to win him, but once we came together our unbridled passion returned as strong as ever. We enjoyed many years of glorious love-making. Then he crashed my Cadillac doing a trick he saw in a Batman serial.

There have been other times, other places. I have lived many lives. And now, at last, I have found my love again. This reincarnation is the closest to his true soul: he devotes himself to the greater good and the rescue of those in peril. I have joined as his regular human work partner in order to be near him. It takes all my discipline to bide my time, but I must be patient, for he is not yet ready. The day shall come when our all-consuming love is reignited once more. I just hope it comes soon because he’s almost died like four times already. 

Oh my sweet Buck, our eternal desire draws us ever closer. This time will be different, my beloved stupid giant idiot baby man. And we've got all this ambulance stuff around just in case.

[mrevaunit42]

So you decided to solve a mystery (and what a terrible idea that was) prologue

hey everyone, Mr.E here back from being sick. kinda still sick and tired but decided to get back to writing. So I recently saw A series of unfortunate events on Netflix and being a huge fan of the book, you can imagine how much i loved it. So much so it reminded me of one of my earliest projects ever. A mystery series heavily influenced by ASoUE’s. i mean the original project has been lost for years now but it was the first project i actually planned out. books,side stories, everything. So to warm up back to writing from my accidental break, i decided to play with my original idea from so long ago.  

So this takes place in a world that’s chaotic and just random like ASoUE and like a series, it is dark but i try to be funny and kinda normalize everything. all that jazz. so as a warning, this is darker than my usual stories. this is all also all experimental and i’m not really sure if i’ll keep this going but i really determined to keep this a side project like my fletcher story. I really appreciate if you give me your thoughts on this: good bad, i would love feedback from you guys to help find my tone and style in this story.

So that’s about it. the italics are Mr.E and he really doesn’t know everything. i kinda use myself as a way to explain things, set the tone, things of the sort, just a random narrator. 

so this is before the main story. please have a great week and i hope you enjoy reading this little experiment.

also @hains-mae

Natural causes.

That's what coroner determined in their report as to what took my oldest friend's life.

Of course there is nothing natural about having a heart attack and falling face first into a triple layer vanilla cake, suffocating on what I was told was a dry, mediocre bland taste.

I still remember where I was when I heard of my friend's passing.

I was secretly competing in a Miss Universe Pageant in New York under the guise Miss Omicron Persei 8, attempting to retrieve my grandmother's Chicken Noodle Soup recipe from the hands of enemy agents. The soup was known for its bitter taste and ability to render anyone who merely took a small taste unconscious for several days.

The secret ingredient of course was raspberries and a 2 teaspoons of crushed sleeping pills sprinkled throughout the broth. Easy in hindsight but I wasn't a really great cook back then.

Yes I was about to be handed my 2nd place trophy for my amazing rendition of Don't Stop Me Now when I discovered my friend was no longer among the living. I would tell you how of course but then I would have to murder you and I rather quite lazy at the moment.

Yes, I will never forget Gregor and the birthday I missed....

It was 3 years ago or possibly longer given I do not know when you are reading this highly secretive document

The night was silent, the city unusually hushed and subdued. Not even the crickets chirped in the stillness.

The cold was harsh and unforgiving with signs that it would rain soon. Everyone who wasn't already bundled inside in their warm abodes were racing frantically to become so, hoping to beat the impending storm that slowly approached on the horizon.

Well all except two men who stood on a roof, simply waiting and attempting to pass the time with the solidarity of their mission the only reason they dared to brave the weather.

“You're using it wrong.” the man with the incredibly ugly fedora told his companion.

The other man pulled the circular object away from his eye, the gaze no longer skyward towards the handful of stars that hung above but rather to the man with the tacky ugly fedora.

“What?” The man with a dull voice asked, eyebrow raised questioningly

“That's not how you use it.” The ugly fedora wearing man gestured to the item in his hand.

“I know” the man with a dull voice weakly snarled “It's not like I have a telescope out here. I just want to the see the stars.”

“You can see them by looking up”

“Ugh” the man with the dull voice whined “Why did I get stuck with you?”

The Ugly Fedora man shrugged “I don't like it either but we're here. Let's make the best of this.”

The Dull man sighed “So....like sports?”

“umm....no. Do you like cars?”

“No....Pizza?”

“makes me gassy. Tofu?”

“Umm” The Dull man shook his head “No, not really......”

An awkward silence fell between the two once again, the quietness of the night overtaking them quickly.

“This...” The Ugly Fedora man slowly asked “isn't like a training exercise? Bond with your teammates and all that crap?”

The Dull man shuddered “god I hope not, I hate those exercises. Especially the whole defusing a bomb blindfolded.”

“Right? And deciding to trust Jeff. Jeff just never listens!”

“I KNOW! I freaking hate when Jeff is all like 'hey guys, I'm going to take the tool kit we need to get the door open and go lock myself in my van, listening to Rush with headphones really loud.”

“or when he steals food from the fridge and he's like 'it wasn't me. It was Steve' then he keeps eating your food in front of you.”

“I HATE THAT”

The two men shared a laugh, the frosty distance between them shrinking.

“So...what do you like to watch on TV?” The Ugly Fedora man asked cautiously

The Dull voiced man shrugged “I like lots of things. Tracer, The Man who knew Just enough,  El Sol and La Bruja.”

There was an uncharacteristic girly gasp of excitement that escaped from the ugly fedora man's mouth, a barely contained squeal with the subtle trembling of joy.

“El Sol and La Bruja? I LOVE THAT SHOW! When Rodrigo showed up completely unharmed from Juanette's planted bomb.”

“Or” The dull voiced man chimed in “When Luthor decided it was best to head back home only for his secret twin brother take his place.

The pair of fast friends shared a knowing look with one of another, arms wide as they both cried out at once “Juanette!”

“Oh oh oh!” The ugly Fedora man cooed “Doesn't she look cute with Frankie!”

“Yeah” The Dull voiced man agreed before a look of surprise came over his face “Wait, what? No she deserves to be with Ferdinand.”

“Ferdinand?” The ugly fedora man repeated, unable to keep the shock out of his voice “No no no, they are a horrible ship. I mean to start, their name: Juanand? What kind of ship name is that?”

“It's Ferdinette first of all” The dull voice man snarled “and it is better than all sexual tension, no depth Juankie!”

“It's called Frankette” The ugly fedora man haughtily replied “And Ferdinand has all the charm of burnt toast.”

The Dull voiced man let out the most enthusiastic gasp he could muster “It's better than Frankie 'I'm a double crossing crook' jerk bag.”

“Hey hey, he's a misunderstood bad boy!”

The Dull voiced man scoffed at the mere idea “The only this misunderstood is Ferdinand. Seriously? I thought we were friends.”

“We've been friends a grand total of 30 seconds” man with the ugly fedora huffed “and what a waste of 30 seconds indeed.”

“Why you....”

Before the two men could properly kill each other, their wristwatches beeped once. Its tone sweet, short and crisp.

The two released their grip on one another, sharing a deep hatred glare towards each other as the man with the incredibly dull voice gently placed the scope he watched the stars through onto the cobble stonework of the building before bending low and opening a briefcase settled against the floor, the soft click hardly audible through the unforgiving winds of the approaching storm.

To this day I wonder what was the true cause of death of my dear friend.

Meanwhile, the ugly fedora wearing man gingerly picked a small plain, dull sliver case, carefully placing it on a nearby table before quietly dialing the code to unlock the padded lock attached to the handle.

I, of course, believed it to be the work of furious North Canadian bees at first as any sting from the creature could easily be mistaken as heart failure to the untrained eye.

The dull voiced man meticulously wiped down the polished and well kept sniper rifle, smoothly ridding the grime and dirt from the bolt.

But I remembered they are really picky about cake and would've never been caught dead near one so bland and tasteless. Which naturally is why we order such horrible treats.

There was a slap of rubber hitting flesh as the ugly fedora wearing man finished adjusting a pair of thick gloves onto his hands, his eyes watching the bellowing frosty smoke pour from the tiny container.

Another option is what we refer to as a Jack Frost. It is a magic bullet or a piece of projectile designed never to be found when shot. We do not condone the use of actual firearms due to their more....

The dull voiced man eyed his partner carefully as he made way over, a small, inch sized bullet made of solid ice held cautiously in his hand.

Chaotic nature. Anyway, a Jack Frost is a specially crafted bullet made of ice, about an inch in length and a half an inch wide. Frozen with a special chemical compound to prevent it from melting immediately when exposed to air.  

The man with the dull voice gulped, sliding the detached scope back into place carefully as the man with the ugly fedora slowly loaded the bullet into the chamber.

Of course we want it to melt just not yet. The ice itself is water but in that water is a fact acting poison that is easily exposed through the skin.

“You got him?” the man with the ugly fedora asked.

The dull voiced man nodded. He could see their target: An older man of about 50 years  surrounded by friends and fellow agents, cheering, laughing, having a good time. The penthouse suite was covered with nondescript security guards in their white and black suits, shades worn despite the fact it was dark out.

See the poison is very thick, a more layered substance than the water. So as the ice bullet begins to break apart when fired....

There was a muted pop, a sound quickly swallowed by the thunderous boom of electricity from the gathering storm clouds.

….the poison begins to fill the space that the slowly melting water leaves behind and the skin is quick to absorb it, even through the toughest of fabric. Well except a diving suit.

“...I hate you...” the dull voiced man whispered quickly as the penthouse broke into chaos, the guests in varying states of shock, fear, dismay “I can't believe you ship Juankie”

“I never want to see you again” The ugly fedora man said bluntly as the security made a mad scramble to reach the dying man's side “You are disgrace the fandom of El Sol and la Bruja.”

I highly doubt he was wearing a diving suit. He always said it clashed with his skin tone and he absolutely refused the blue colored variation

“hey” The dull voiced man called to the ugly fedora man.

“What?”

“Look” the dull voiced man pointed to the black cloud that formed over the city “A storm....you don't think it's a metaphorical representation that we set a series of events that no one could ever foresee and will eventually result in the destruction of our entire organization?”

“No, now come on.”

Natural causes.

That's what coroner told me when I arrived an hour later after his death.

Of course I know better.

And so did his daughter.

Well actually his daughter didn't know better, but she would.

3 years later.

[festival-of-pudding]

someone said this in a comment on the vampire fic:

The way he talks about Buck makes it almost seem like a past lives/past souls situation where Eddie is immortal and tries to find Buck in his new lives

and now I keep thinking of as Buck as Gregor-Jesk to Eddie’s Nadja 💀 'oh my beloved dumbass, again I have found you, let us make passionate love until you die doing something incredibly stupid’