#ok tee hee i lied. posting it now

[polyphonial-old]

hi! i'm olly, a queer trans multiply disabled artist and i'm opening 2 commission slots for winter break!

dm me on @polyphonial if you're interested :]

[ID: an infographic showing commission prices. op’s drawings of hatsune miku and kugisaki nobara are taken as examples.

the prices for busts are: 14$ for lines, 16$ for flat colours, 18$ for finished.

for half-body: 16$ for lines, 18$ for flat colours, 20$ for finished.

for knee-up: 18$ for lines, 20$ for flat colours, 25$ for finished.

for icons: with a flat background 16$, with a background with a simple design 18$. two matching icons are 28/32$. the two examples show only the head and neck.

the rules show that op will do the following:

original characters (provide visual ref)

fanart

animal traits

blood/minor injury

sona (provide visual ref)

he won’t do the following:

nsfw, nudity

furry

mecha

gore

real people

characters interacting

anything he’s uncomfortable with

payment is via paypal and 100% after sketch. there can be one character per commission slot, and price goes up with complicated designs/props. /end ID]

(id by @/maileesque)

[sgiandubh]

Out of the OL bubble

Sidenote: this post owes everything to the incredible sleuthing skills of an already longtime trusted friend, who wishes to remain discreet. All credit goes entirely to her - this is such an idiotic topic, yet the Ur Troll insists.

I answered one of you in the comment threads yesterday, that once you get the hell out of the OL bubble, things begin to make sense. Why? Well, because of distance and context, I suppose. And also because this always was the dirty little secret of our Dedicated Manipulative Trolls: to make you believe in a terribly poor narrative, fit for a linear world. A world without compromise, drama, secrets and lies. Collective lack of time, perspective and/or Internet research skills did the rest and gave birth to this monster: the OL Fandom.

We are now told and are supposed to believe that because Scottish Xena apparently chose on purpose (with this and only this, I could agree, but for opposite reasons) to show us she trains in a Cumbernauld gym, that means... well, you know the rest and it involves The Magic Golden Dirk. That troll was never exactly subtle, was she, bless her heart?

That mother and entrepreneur has a life of her own and an entourage of her own and business collaborations of her own and her own agenda. Some of it is shown on her Instagram account, most of it can be speculated. Connecting dots just for the sake of it is neither productive, nor remotely interesting.

Let's see, for example, how she reacts to a very insistent fellow German athlete, whom she is going to meet at the Hyrox Cologne event (13-14th of April, during the Landcon week-end):

😬😱

What is Flamingos Club? Nope, not an ikebana society, no:

Tee-hee.

They were there before, in good company, last year, when they actually first met (rings a bell?):

(April 2023, ok? I am still waiting for my own DeLorean)

Who is this guy?

Fellow athlete, HYROX Ambassador (something I bet the farm she wants to achieve) and a contestant in this year's German reality show First Dates Hotel, on VOX (https://www.vox.de/cms/sendungen/first-dates-hotel.html):

The concept is simple: a renowned German chef, Roland Trettl (no idea!) now takes his blind date cooking show to the next level, with singles from all over the country parked into a Spanish dream holiday resort (Mallorca), shake, stir and see whatever happens. The classical Endemol recipe, now produced by Twenty Twenty. It also has an UK version, running on Channel 4 (coincidence? I doubt that very much, thank you!).

On set, Max's 'love interest' is a certain Linda. He recently wrote her ' a sweet love letter', taking the good advice of his namesake cast friend Max-the-Bartender:

(I swear to God, I feel like I am prostituting my 🧠, right now).

There is obviously nothing to see, here (or is it, such as two wannabes desperately wanting limelight?). She leads the typical no strings attached life of a single mom and he is still looking for a real job:

Since VOX does not give his full name, neither will I. It took five minutes to find him, with a bit of luck.

Why on Earth would one connect that woman to S, rather than to this nice, ambitious Bavarian?

I know why. It's almost too damn easy.

Two words: Channel 4. Truman Show. Ginger and Fred (oops, these are Our Couple).

Is it anything we haven't seen before?

Nope. We've seen way worse. But gone are the Days of Flukenzie Floozy.

[Edited] - there is no need to further expose our people.

[houkagokappa]

YURIZANMAI

Here’s my translation of Yurizanmai by Morishima Akiko for the Sarazanmai Anthology!

I finished it the same week the Anthology came out, but then I completely forgot about posting it since I’ve been trying to spend less time online. Sorry about that!

I hope you like it, it manages to add the one thing to Sarazanmai that it was still lacking in order to become absolute perfection - lesbians!!!

Pg 1

Text: The night we defeated the first Kappa Zombie Text: we got a Dish of Hope. Plate: Hope Text: And then… Keppi: This Dish of Hope will grant you any wish, ribbit.

Tooi: Don’t tell stupid lies. Enta: Any wish? Enta: No waaay~ Keppi: It’s true, ribbit.

Enta: For real!? Well then, SFX: Haha Enta: eeeveryone in the whooole world becomes a girl ☆ Enta: Just kidd…

SFX: fwoosh Plate: Eeeeveryone girl

SFX: scatter Enta: …ing.

Title: Morishima Akiko – Yurizanmai

 Pg2

Tooi: !? Kazuki/SFX: What?! Kazuki: Natural hair! Enta: Wha.. Keppi: It has been granted, ribbit ♥ Text: We ended up becoming women. Title: Yurizanmai

 Pg3

Bubble: WHAT THE HELL!!!

Text: We can’t understand all life’s occurrences. Sara: G’morning ☆

Sara: Today’s lucky selfie item is… Sara: Yuri, dish ☆ TL note: Yuri as in lily the flower (but also lesbians) Plate: Yuri Large banner text: Lucky Selfie Item Small banner text: No way, I’m surprised YURIZANMAI got the OK. Thank you.

Text: This isn’t a reward, falling in love with my teammate, turning into kappa…

Text: Turning into girls… Enta: Girls’ breasts are in the way! Enta: The bra is tight and my shoulders are stiff. SFX: sigh

 Pg4

Tooi: THIS IS YOUR FAULT!! Tooi: Fuck, I can feel a breeze on my crotch!! Enta: Buuut~ Enta: It was only a joke~ Kazuki: It’ll be a relief not having to wear a wig, Kazuki: but a pain to need so much shampoo.

SFX: Ah Enta: That’s right, here… Tooi: ? Enta: I have a share of my sisters SFX: *rustle rustle*

Text: Menstrual pads.

Enta: Wouldn’t it be troublesome if we’d get it suddenly? Enta: Hey Kazuki, you too… huh? Kazuki: Yuri flowers… Kazuki: Eh, they don’t have them?

Kazuki: Has this flower shop sold out all the yuri flowers too? Kazuki: Yeah… Kazuki: What should I do about today’s mission…?

Pg5

Enta: I’ll help you search for them. Kazuki: Eh? But I’d feel bad. Enta: Don’t. We’re the Golden Combo, right? Enta: As men or as women!

Enta: Something like gender doesn’t matter… Kazuki: It matters a lot!

Kazuki: I mean… Enta as a girl… Kazuki: Is so insanely cute Kazuki: my heart is pounding.

Enta: What? SFX: ba-dump SFX: *lean*

Kazuki: If me and Enta would kiss Enta: Umm Kazuki: now that we’re both girls Kazuki: that’d be “yuri”, wouldn’t it? Enta: !!

 Pg6

Enta: Th-th-th… That’s right! We-we-we… We have no other choice for the sake of the mission! Kazuki: Not for the sake of the mission. Kazuki: I just want to kiss you Enta.

Enta: Re.. Really? Kazuki: Really. Kazuki: Enta I…

Kazuki: love you ♥ Text: Yuri... Kiss… ♥♥♥

Tooi: Doesn’t our schools flower bed have some? Kazuki: Is that so? I’m off!! SFX: *dash*

Enta: I knew it was a delusion… SFX: *slump*

 Pg7

SFX: *pow*

Tooi: …Hey. Tooi: Don’t kick the ball in a skirt. Enta: I’m wearing leggings like my sister told me to ♪

Tooi: …Hey. Tooi: What’s Yasaka doing all those things for? Tooi: Who’s Harukappa?

Enta: I think it’s probably Haruka. Enta: Kazuki’s precious little brother. Enta: Oh right, now it’s her little sister.

Kazuki: The school didn’t have anything but cucumbers, dish~☆ Tooi: His precious… little brother.

 Pg8

Kazuki: I have no choice but to try my luck at some flower shop in Asakusa… SFX: sigh

Tooi: I’ll help! Enta: What?

Enta: Kuji’s a good guy!? Enta: Eeeeh Enta: That’s surprising Tooi: I’m free today, that’s all…

Enta: What’s this? Just when I thought we’d be alone with Kazuki… Don’t get in the way.

SFX: gasp Enta: It can’t be…

Enta: Did Kuji fall in love with Kazuki once he turned into a girl!? Kazuki: Thank you! Kazuki: I’ll give you this cucumber

SFX: Grrrrrrrrrr Enta: ………….

 Pg9

Text: Eeeeveryone in the whooole world becomes a girl ☆ Text: Of course that wasn’t a serious wish. Text: It was just a joke Text: However…

Text: [Kaisou] Text: O Flashback X Seaweed

Enta: Wow cuuute~ Enta: Are these your photos from when you went to middle school? Text: National Tennis Championship Enta: So you were in the tennis club? Kazuki’s mom: Yes. Kazuki’s mom: We made it pretty far in the doubles together with my senpai.

 Pg10

Haruka: You were the Golden Combo! Haruka: Like Kazu-chan and Enta-oniichan. Enta: Are you still playing tennis together with your senpai?

Kazuki’s mom: No Kazuki’s mom: I haven’t seen my senpai in over 10 years.

Kazuki’s mom: But you know Kazuki’s mom: Me and my senpai are still connected.

Kazuki’s mom: A real connection will continue to shine forever without vanishing, even if you are separated. SFX: flip Text: Wedding/in the waiting room before the ceremony

Kazuki’s mom: And then that light will shine on the next new connection…

 Pg11

Kazuki’s mom: Even when we aren’t near. Kazuki’s mom: Even when we don’t meet. Kazuki’s mom: Me and my senpai are connected through that light. Kazuki’s mom: We always will be.

Enta: ……. Enta: I was a little jealous.

Enta: If Kazuki and I were women Enta: I wouldn’t be at the mercy of something such as desires, like men are. Enta: Even though my feelings are pure, I wonder if we can connect.

 Pg12

Reo: Tee-hee ♪ My make-up turned out beautifully! Reo: The perfect policewoman is complete~♥

Mabu: Let’s go investigate what caused this sudden change of gender.

Sara: The Prince is lovely even as a Princess, dish ♥ Keppi: It’s a pair-look, ribbit. Reo: I have like no idea how we got turned into women so suddenly~ Reo: The only thing I know for sure is that…

Reo: I’m beyond gorgeous as a woman ♥ Reo: Tee-hee-hee Mabu: Reo, even ever since you were a man you’ve been more beautiful than anyone else.

 Pg13

Reo: Wha- What, it’s unusual for you to give compliments.

Mabu: I’m not giving compliments, I’m stating a fact. Mabu: I’m not concerned as far as appearances go, beautiful or ugly, it doesn’t matter.

Reo: So you don’t care whether I’m beautiful or ugly. Reo: Hmph

Mabu: That’s right Text: Beautiful or ugly Text: Man or woman Text: I’m in love with Reo

Text: I want to tell you that, and yet…

Text: In the end however, no matter if I’m a man or a woman, my desire for Kazuki didn’t vanish. Enta: I’m delusional. I’m jealous. Enta: I still want to lick the recorder. SFX: Aaaah  

 Pg14

Enta: Still, I wouldn’t change these feelings. Enta: Even as a girl I’m in love with Kazuki!

Enta: I’m sorry Kazuki, yuri flowers are sold out everywhere… Kazuki: Enta? Kazuki: Look, look!

Kazuki: Kuji found them for me, dish ♥ Kazuki: They were dropped behind a funeral home SFX: squeeze Tooi: Hey, don’t cling to me so much Tooi: It’s soft

Enta: Kujiiiiiiiii SFX: roar

 Pg15

Bubble: Huh? SFX: whoosh

SFX: swish Bubble: Aaah

Kazuki: My yuri!! Sara: For our next news story, dish ☆

Sara: An incident has occurred all around Asakusa with yuri flowers taking flight. Sara: Gao, gao~☆ Banner: Yuri, flying! Don’t back down on love TL note: They’re using a word for flying that’s pronounced “shounin” just like “approved” from YKA was. Banner: This YURIZANMAI is fiction, dish. It has absolutely no relation to the official SARAZANMAI.

Tooi: This time the desire is yuri Tooi: A yuri-zombie, huh? Enta: Everyone… Enta: Let’s turn into kappa Kazuki: Yeah Bubble:  There’s something I have to take back

 Pg16

Text: Before Kuji falls in love with female Kazuki Text: I’ll use the Dish of Hope to turn Kazuki back to male! Text: And in order to do that… Bubble: Let’s go!

Text: Yurizanmai

Otter: Continues in the sequel Otter: Usso☆ (Lies)

END