#ollixallu

[theflyingfeeling]

two sweaty, horny dudes ✅

sauna ✅

no plot ✅

enjoy 💦

(or: Olli/Allu get it on at the band's sauna evening for no reason whatsover other than simply wanting each other so goddamn much)

~*~

Don't bother, Joonas, let's leave the IT club to nerd about whatever in peace.

Niko's teasing words had barely stopped echoing in the sauna when Olli's lips were already on Aleksi's shoulder, his tongue peeking out to lick a droplet of sweat above his collarbone. The boldness made Aleksi inhale sharply before nudging Olli away, although there was nothing in the world he wanted more than Olli's mouth on his skin.

"Don't," he whispered. "Not here..." Olli looked up at him from under hooded eyelids and the long lashes that framed his darkened eyes, and suddenly Aleksi could no longer remember why he was denying Olli anything at all. That was why he made no effort to stop Olli when he leaned further in to take a mouthful of Aleksi's skin just below his earlobe in his mouth; in fact, Aleksi tilted his head to give Olli more room to do so and hoped the tinted glass door of the sauna would veil their...carnal activities.

By the time they heard the showers being turned off and the door to the changing room closing, Aleksi was already half-hard from Olli's hot, wet kisses and his fingers digging into Aleksi's inner thigh. By the time the last noises of laughter and friendly banter died out in the next room, Olli was already lying down on the top bench of the sauna, back arching and low moans filling the small room as Aleksi mouthed his stomach with hungry, sloppy kisses landing all around his navel and along the happy trail to savour the salty taste as much as to worship the sweet softness of his belly. By the time Aleksi finally touched the tip of Olli's pulsing cock with his tongue, Olli was but a squirming mess under his touch, all but begging Aleksi to take him in his mouth.

The long, lingering licks Aleksi left on Olli's cock drove Olli crazy – Aleksi knew this from the way Olli's groans adopted a more needy undertone – but he had no intention to fulfil Olli's wordless pleas before he'd have the man tremble for it.

"Ale, I need to cum so bad," Olli panted, grinding his erection against Aleksi's lips that were now leaving light kisses along Olli's hardness. A lone drop of precum appeared at the tip, which Aleksi is quick to kiss away.

"Ale, please," Olli was practically whining now, "please let me cum in your mouth.

"Are you close?" Aleksi asked, although he knew the answer when he took Olli in his hand and felt it twitch in his fingers, and when he saw how Olli's abdomen contracted from the touch, and when he heard the litany of swear words leaving Olli's mouth.

"So fucking close I'm gonna cum on your face if you're not gonna take me in your mouth soon."

There was no doubt Aleksi wouldn't have loved that either, and he almost told Olli so; nevertheless, he guided Olli's cock in between his waiting lips. Hollowing his cheeks, he began sucking in rhythm with Olli's groans, making sure to let his lips graze against the sensitive tip before swallowing down again until his septum ring was nearly touching Olli's pubes. He felt Olli throbbing against his tongue, twitching in between his lips, thrusting towards the ceiling under his hands that rested on Olli's hip bones, and with every lust-filled movement Aleksi felt as if there were two, fatally horny wolves inside him: one that was determined to keep Aleksi bobbing his head up and down to help Olli reach his peak sooner rather than later, and one that was curious to see how long Aleksi could keep Olli on the edge before they'd both lose their minds.

Eventually his motive to please Olli outplayed any other, more selfish desire he might have had and he tightened his lips around Olli's cock. Olli buckled his lips uncontrollably when Aleksi added a hand to the base of his hard-on to massage it, to feel Olli's arousal under his fingertips, to revel in every twitch and throb that inspired Aleksi's own aching cock that stood neglected between his thighs. He was desperate to touch himself – he was only human, after all – but as it turned out, his hands had far more important tasks to tend to: while the other was busy gripping Olli's cock, the other had sneaked up to Olli's chest to bury his fingers in the bush of chest hair which Aleksi so loved; which Olli so loved to leave peeking from the collar of his shirt just to drive Aleksi crazy; which Aleksi couldn't wait to cover in his white semen again, like he had done just the other night on the couch of his studio.

Nearly lost in the memory of frotting himself on Olli's chest, Aleksi was almost caught off guard by Olli starting to shoot his load in his mouth. At the height of his orgasm, Olli's slurred words are a mix of fuck and Ale and don't stop, and Aleksi keeps on working his tongue and lips until every last drop of cum has been swallowed, until the only noises left in the sauna are Olli's heavy breathing and the quiet cracking of the fire.

Seeing Olli's naked body in front of him, all spent and relaxed and beautiful, Aleksi could no longer ignore his own bodily needs. He sat back against the wooden panelling behind him and finally took himself in his hand, but he only had time to give himself a few, much-awaited strokes before Olli's fingers were replacing his own and a pair of lips were crashed against his. As if desperate to taste himself off Aleksi's tongue, Olli kissed him hungrily while pumping Aleksi's erection with vigorous, experienced flicks of his wrists, which had no business making Aleksi as close to his climax as it did. Yet, he found his lips mirroring the hasty movements of Olli's, grinding his erection into Olli's fist the best he could from his tight position in between Olli and the wall, and even letting Olli help Aleksi's knee up against his own chest, pushing him further against the wall as Olli's other hand teased around his hole.

Without warning, Olli slid one of his fingers in, and with even less warning, Aleksi came hard with his bottom lip tightly in between Olli's teeth so that his cry of pleasure was muffled somewhere inside Olli's hot mouth. When Aleksi at last regained the little that was left of his senses, the fire in the sauna stove had already died out; the fire in Olli's eyes, however, drilling into his from up close as he milked the last of Aleksi's cum, only seemed to flare up.

~*~

They made out under the shower, somehow leisurely and with great urgency at the same time. Olli was wet and smooth and hot under Aleksi's palms, his every curve and bone and muscle adding fuel to the already blazing flame that was scorching Aleksi's chest and groin, even without Olli's hand stroking his cock anew.

When Aleksi came again, spilling his load on Olli's fingers and stomach, his knees trembled under him from the strength of his second orgasm that evening, nearly making him fall at Olli's feet.

He wanted to ask Olli if he would catch him if he did; if he'd crumble under the weight of it all, would Olli be there to pick him up again?

Somehow the words never left his mouth.

(Perhaps Aleksi was afraid to hear the answer.)

Instead, he got on his knees again.

[theflyingfeeling]

the terrible infidelity AU is back, this time with a synopsis, because this one was born from a very specific need:

Aleksi accidentally steals Olli's t-shirt and proceeds to pleasure himself while wearing it, thinking of Olli.

~

Aleksi never thought he'd stoop so low.

He wasn't sure how Olli's t-shirt had ended up in his suitcase. It was black like all of his own clothes, like all of their clothes were, so who could really judge him for making such an easy mistake.

Aleksi could remember holding it in his hands when they had been doing the traditional, panic-induced last-minute packing before having to give up the rental tour bus. His head was instantly filled with memories of Olli wearing the shirt just the other night when he had, at three in the morning, climbed into Aleksi's bunk and buried his head in the crook of Aleksi's neck, which was something he did from time to time when he woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't fall back to sleep again. Olli's explanations varied from 'Porko is snoring' to 'it's too cold' to 'just couldn't', and Aleksi never stopped him when he pressed against him in the small space they shared.

He hadn't stopped Olli that night either, when Olli had claimed to be homesick and asked Aleksi to do something about it. Aleksi simply hadn't been able to find a way to say no, not when Olli's widened pupils had been looking up at him and he could feel Olli's semi hard-on through his boxers.

Still. An easy mistake to make.

~*~

He wasn't sure how Olli's t-shirt had replaced the one he had been wearing, so that now he was sitting on the couch of his home studio, wrapped in the smell of Olli instead of the flowery scent of the fabric softener she had told him to buy when he had gone out the night before to buy more coffee grounds. Aleksi supposed he could blame it on the tiredness doing tricks on his brain and making him act out of his will.

Running his palm over the worn fabric and the crusty band logo, he thought about how he had done exactly that when Olli had been wearing that shirt, his and Olli's rock-hard cocks inside Olli's fist. He swallowed as he recalled Olli chasing his lips for a kiss they shouldn't share and clutched the hem of the shirt near his lower stomach when he relived the moment of his orgasm, grasping anything his hands could find to help him contain himself in a tour bus full of his sleeping friends and coworkers.

He glanced down on himself and saw the front of his sweatpants bulging.

Yeah. Just the tiredness.

~*~

He wasn't sure when his hand had slid inside his boxers, but there he was: stroking himself while the smell of Olli surrounded him.

For that, he couldn't even bother making up an excuse. That was just him being weak.

It drove him crazy with lust, as it had back in the tour bus bunk, with Olli right there next to him for him to touch and taste and breathe in. He had done exactly that, relentlessly, fondling Olli over his shirt and under it and below it, wanting him closer, needing him with every living cell Aleksi had in himself. He wrapped his fingers around his erection and closed his eyes to block out the studio and the footsteps from above, to imagine it was Olli who was touching him, like he had done that night. A sigh left his lungs as he squeezed his cock, a sigh which turned into a whine when he remembered how heavenly Olli's warm, slick palm had felt.

Olli's movements had been rapid and rough, so Aleksi's were too, his hand moving up and down his length with a desperate speed. Olli had sneaked a hand under Aleksi's shirt to massage his chest and belly, so Aleksi did too, his own hand following the same path Olli's had, because he swore he could still memorize every single twist and turn of Olli's fingers. He whimpered out loud again, frustrated at his own touch not feeling half as good as Olli's, defeated because even from miles away, from his home in Oulu, Olli still had a hold of his heart as well as of his cock.

Not long before reaching his climax, Aleksi finally allowed himself to summon the memory of Olli repeating Aleksi's name over and over again in a whisper that got muffled somewhere in between Aleksi's lips before he ejaculated. The feeling of Olli's warm cum dribbling between their cocks had been enough to bliss Aleksi out as well and he had followed almost immediately after, his hand groping Olli's backside aimlessly and his heart being swallowed up by Olli, throbbing wildly like both their cocks inside Olli's fist, slowly jerking them through their orgasms. Even without Olli's seed covering his cock this time, Aleksi came as intensely as he had then, some of the spurts of white landing on the shirt he was wearing.

The footsteps from above had silenced. Aleksi could only hope he hadn't been too loud.

His eyes burned when it hit him what he had done.

He really was so weak.

~*~

Aleksi wasn't sure how the shirt had ended up in her hands, now wet and wrinkled and flower-smelling. He had probably forgotten it in the bottom of the laundry basket where he had hidden it in his guilt-crippled panic.

"Since when have you had an AC/DC shirt?"

He could've told her it was Olli's. That he had packed it in his suitcase by mistake and was meaning to give it back to him next week when he'd come over for preparations for yet another tour. That he thought the least he could do to make up accidentally stealing Olli's favourite shirt was to at least wash it before returning it.

He should have told her the truth.

"A fan gift," he said instead.

~*~

Aleksi wasn't sure when he had become so attached to the shirt, to the point he felt weirdly mournful handing it back to Olli.

That was even though he had barely touched it since it had come out of the laundry machine. It didn't smell of Olli anymore.

"Wait, you had this all this time?"

"Yeah, sorry 'bout it." Aleksi's cheeks were as if on fire. Although the shirt no longer looked as nasty as it had with Aleksi's cum staining it, the sight of it was still imprinted on his retinas.

"I've been looking for this everywhere! Haven't seen it since... since, umm..."

What was left of Aleksi's heart stopped beating then.

Had Olli been thinking about it too, the night they had shared with Olli wearing that exact shirt? Had it been driving him insane as well, the memory of their cocks rubbing together, of their mouths searching for each other?

Had Olli, too, when making love to his partner, been imagining it was Aleksi in her stead?

Olli cleared his throat, eyes fixed on the neatly folded shirt in his hands. "Anyway. Thanks."

Have you? I need you to tell me you have. I need you to need me the way I need you.

I need you.

"Yeah, anytime."

[theflyingfeeling]

hi hello, @kraeuterhexchen and I have created something really adorable and we hope you'll like it because we had so much fun creating it all and yeah, pls let us know what you think 🥺👉👈

fic written by yours truly, the original story idea and STUNNING illustrations by @kraeuterhexchen 💖

summary:

Olli is a med school student struggling to make ends meet. He's not going back to the burger place (the smell of sizzling minced meat patties still made him want to vomit) and Joonas' suggestion is out of the question (Olli still wants to make his mum proud), so he becomes a children's party entertainer, because anyone can learn a few silly magic tricks to amaze a bunch of sugar-high kids, right? Well, not quite, but he does manage to amaze someone though...

Starring Olli as an amateur magician, Aleksi as the man of his dreams, Joonas as the amazing friend he always is, and Johnny as a DILF (literally).

[theflyingfeeling]

another getting-this-out-of-my-system-with-no-proofreading kind of Olli/Allu bedtime story by Yours Truly, enjoy <3

(sort of smut with lots of feelings)

~*~

It was nothing, Aleksi decided. It couldn’t be. 

So what if he got an unexpected hard-on during a playwrestle – in his defence, so did Olli, or so Aleksi had judged by the bulge on the front of his jeans; therefore, it was nothing out of ordinary. A bit of friendly roughhousing, nothing else. 

So what if Olli then, later that same evening, climbed into Aleksi’s bunk and, with his eyes blacker than the nighttime surrounding them, hovered over him, pinning Aleksi down with his gaze as well as his hips. Not a single word was exchanged as Olli began moving against Aleksi in a circular motion that started off slow and careful, then hastened as Olli’s eyes lost focus and finally rolled back in their sockets, mere seconds before he went still and limp on top of Aleksi with his heavy breathing in Aleksi’s ear an Aleksi’s erection rock-hard in between them. 

So what if Aleksi came within seconds after Olli sneaked a hand inside his boxers, the warmness of Olli’s hand alone bringing him over the edge. Could’ve happened to anyone, really, with the way Olli had been grinding into him, hardening him from the semi he had still been sporting inside his pants, panting into his neck and ear and shoulder, throwing his head back and exposing his neck for Aleksi to marvel at. 

So what if he wondered whether it’d feel as smooth against his lips as it looked then, in the dark of his bunk and up so close. 

It was nothing, surely, and even if it was something, it would be nothing but the fact they were on tour and under a lot of pressure and one had to let it out somehow. 

It was nothing. How could it be anything else? 

~*~

It was nothing, even when it happened again the next night, only this time without the playfight-induced awkward boners.

So what if Aleksi had already been palming himself through his pyjama pants while entertaining himself with the thought of it happening again. So what if the thought also tortured him, placing a heavy mass inside his chest that was only removed when he saw the curtain of his bunk being pulled aside and Olli’s face appeared above him again, his eyes even darker than the night before, his cock even harder than last time.

So what if Aleksi let his arms be held in place above his head. So what if he liked it so much it scared him. 

(It all scared him, although not enough to do anything about it; not enough to object when Olli sank his nails into the skin around Aleksi’s wrists, not enough to resist when he felt teeth nibbling on his earlobe. So scared he was, in fact, that he willingly helped Olli remove his pants by lifting his bum off the mattress while Olli fumbled with both their clothes with one hand, the other still holding Aleksi’s arms against the headboard.) 

So what if Aleksi had never come as hard as he did when he felt Olli’s bare cock against his own. So what if Olli spilling on his stomach almost made him do it again.

But, you know. It was still nothing as far as Aleksi was concerned. It was all the pressure, all the tightness of their schedule and the tightness inside Aleksi’s head that he needed an escape from. It was the coldness of the spring in Germany and they were just being practical, huddling together for warmth the way they were. 

It was nothing. Promise. 

~*~

It was nothing. It was nothing it was nothing it was nothing. Maybe if Aleksi repeated it enough in his head, his stupid brain would be more convinced. 

So what if he started anticipating Olli’s arrival already before the show, trying to find clues in Olli’s behaviour (he drove himself crazy over-analysing Olli’s every move, that’s what).

So what if his eyes kept trying to find Olli’s whenever the stage lights were dim enough for him to do so discreetly (he’d miss his cue for the beginning of the next song, that’s what).

So what if he’d avoid Olli’s gaze, Olli’s touch, Olli’s presence when they’d give their final bows, just to keep his heart in check (his hands and chest would feel empty with no Olli by his side, that’s what). 

So what if he was already about to open his mouth about it when he felt Olli’s fingertips graze up and down his sides as they lay next to each other. So what if it felt a new kind of intimate, sending a new kind of shiver down his spine and shutting his mouth in the process. 

So what if he fell asleep like that, with Olli’s touch soothing him, as if a reassurement of some sort.

It’s nothing, Aleksi pretended it said. 

~*~

Hypothetically, if it was something, it would’ve explained a lot of things.

Such as why Aleksi found it easier to spend the day out and about with Joonas instead (right until he saw the disappointment on Olli’s face, that was). Or why just the smell of Olli’s cologne made his stomach flip when they squeezed in for a group photo (then again, it could’ve also been the room temperature leftover pizza he had eaten for breakfast). 

Or why he, after having stared at the ceiling of his bunk waiting for Olli to climb in his bunk for what felt like well into the early morning, he couldn’t lie in wait for any longer and dived into Olli’s bunk himself. 

The reality was, though, that it was still nothing. So what if, when Olli rubbed him into oblivion, he forgot his latest argument for it. 

~*~

“It’s nothing.” 

“Didn’t say it was not nothing.” 

Aleksi shot Niko his most murderous death-glare. 

“I know. But still. It’s nothing.”

“Yeah, well, whatever it is, just… tone it down a little, will you? Some of us would like to get some rest before the morning.”

The embarrassment burned Aleksi’s cheeks, had been doing so since Niko had asked him about what was happening below his bunk these days. The look on Niko’s face had revealed he had an idea; Aleksi figured attack was the best form of defence. 

Niko’s smirk was infuriating when he spoke his next question.

“Are you at least enjoying yourself while keeping me up all night?”

Aleksi heard giggling from behind him when he walked back inside the tour bus. 

So what if I am?

~*~

It’s nothing, Aleksi said to himself as he studied Olli’s side profile that same night.

(But if it’s something, it’s the way I was losing my mind with the way you didn’t talk to me all day.)

It’s nothing, Aleksi said to himself as their hands brushed when picking up their key cards off the reception counter.

(But if it’s something, it’s how I look for you in every room we’re in; how you’re my favourite person in every time and space.)

It’s nothing. Right? Aleksi asked Olli’s backside when they lay on the hotel room bed before their Uber for the venue would arrive. 

(Please tell me it’s something.)

But how could it be something, he then wanted to ask himself, if the very thought of it being something scared him to the bone, to the point he thought he was going to lose it?

How could it be nothing, if all he did was miss Olli whenever he allowed his broken brain to foster such feelings? How could it be nothing at all, when every single cell that inhabited his damned body and soul wanted it to be something? 

He tried to find answers in Olli’s eyes in the elevator back up to their room after the show. He couldn’t find any, so he went for Olli’s lips instead.

So what if someone could see them stumbling across a hotel corridor attached at the mouth. So what if Olli’s fly was already open when Aleksi pushed him against the bathroom door. So what if Aleksi’s skin thirsted for Olli’s touch like he was tinder-dry soil and Olli was an April shower. So what if their lips barely broke apart when Aleksi yelped, feeling a finger inside him, then another and maybe a third at some point, he lost count the second another set of fingers wrapped around his cock. So what if Olli’s fingers massaging his insides and his erection sliding against Aleksi’s own made Aleksi forget himself, lose himself at the touch of Olli’s mere fingertips. 

So what if he wanted Olli inside him, more than he had ever wanted anything. He could still pretend it was nothing the next morning if he really wanted to; he had had a lot of practice on that as of late.

So what if finally having Olli inside him made him want to cry a little. So what if he did when he came, and when he saw the wetness of Olli’s eyes staring into his. 

“It’s…” Olli trailed off when Aleksi forced himself to ask about it. 

Don’t say it. Don’t say it’s nothing. 

Aleksi didn’t let him; he kissed Olli instead, while he was still inside Aleksi. He urged Olli to move again, to take him again, to do anything but say what Aleksi feared he was going to say. 

As if it hadn’t been his own mantra all this time.

It’s nothing if I want it to be nothing, he said to himself when he noticed Olli losing himself in the rhythm of his thrusts again. 

But do I?

~*~

It was silent in Aleksi’s head the next morning. He didn’t know if he should have been relieved or concerned. 

He planted a kiss on a bare shoulder to find out. 

Olli hummed when he turned to his side, eyes still closed, a smile dancing on the lips Aleksi wanted to feel in between his own again. He felt them on his chest instead, just above his pecks, near his collarbone. Warm fingers appeared on his side, trailing over his hips and waist and ribcage, up and down, much like the other night. 

“You need to stop doing that.” 

“Doing what?” There was a hint of a sleepy smile in Olli’s voice.

“That. Touching me like this.”

There was a short silence before Olli’s response.

“Why?”

“‘Cause you’ll make me fall for you.” 

The silence that followed was a little longer this time, and Aleksi would have grown worried if it wasn’t for the fingers that kept dancing tirelessly on his skin. 

It’s 'nothing'? Aleksi wanted to laugh. It’s only everything. 

At last the smile against his chest widened.

“So what if I will?”

[theflyingfeeling]

sooooo here's a bit of Olli/Allu something I wrote shortly after Emma Gaala 2024. I'm probably gonna regret posting this because 🫣 but I just reeeeeeaally love how this one turned out 💔

~

i.

[in the bedroom]

The tinkle of her earrings. The clack of her high heels against the laminate flooring. The click of a lipstick case closing. The beep of an incoming message, informing their cab has arrived.

It’s all too loud for Aleksi to handle, deafening in the middle of all that silence. He’d rush out of the house to escape it, but he’s still not wearing any shoes. 

He stares at the two pairs by his feet. The other is white, spotless, unused (unloved). The black leather ones Olli once said looked cool. 

He chooses the white ones.

ii.

[in the cab]

Sleet on the glass. Streetlights blinding him through the glossy view. The reds and the yellows tinted dark through the black hue of the backseat window. The back of the driver’s headrest becomes blurry, so Aleksi rubs his eyes.

They don’t talk, but that’s nothing new. She’s on her phone or stares out on her side of the car, at her side of the world. Aleksi stares at his own and wonders if hers is as gloomy as his.

Only a small Mercedes, yet the entire Grand Canyon between them. A spacey tour bus, yet Aleksi was always drawn to Olli like a magnet. It’s laughable, and the others do laugh at it, do make fun of them, and Aleksi ignores it, because what else was he supposed to do. Olli laughs along, because of course he does, because he isn’t stuck in the crumbling ruins of a relationship he’s too cowardly to abandon before it collapses on him. 

The Mercedes drives away, but the Grand Canyon stays.

iii.

[on the red carpet]

His new shoes soaked from the first puddle on his way to the venue. His tie like a rope around his neck so he rips it off and drops it in the bin by the door. The champagne glass cold against his hand, icy like the look in her eyes before she turns to the cameras.

Olli would’ve hated it, the flashing lights and the empty questions, would have rolled his eyes at them so only Aleksi could see, and then turn back to give the photographers the most stunning picture any of them would take that evening. She hates it too, though she doesn’t mind hiding it, and (selfishly) Aleksi lets her fake it for them both.

Her hand slithering around his arm, although he’s the snake with the way he wants to slither himself free from it, and with the way his mind is poisoned with guilt and disgust, and with the way he almost sinks to the ground when someone wearing Olli’s cologne walks past them. 

He was going to need another glass of sparkly wine to get a hold of himself (and to hold something instead of her hand).

iv.

[at the gala]

Joonas’ eyes staring at him from across the table are full of questions Aleksi can’t answer. He’s worried for him, Aleksi knows, but he doesn’t need Joonas’ judgement on top of his own.

“If there’s anything on your mind… you know you can tell me, right?” Joonas said the other day, and Aleksi appreciates the sentiment, but hell would freeze before Aleksi could tell anyone what was on his mind, never mind it’s a one-word answer.

Besides, as long as he leaves it all unsaid, he can still pretend it’s not true. If he keeps quiet, he can still convince himself he’s a good, loving boyfriend who’s not in denial about his feelings for a friend. He says nothing, so nothing ever happened. 

He’s confident about it for about three seconds. Three seconds, and then he notices the text message.

You both looked so good on the red carpet

Three seconds from that, and Aleksi’s thoughts are already somewhere else. 

∞

[in a hotel room]

Heavy breaths. Warm hands. Eyes as dark and terrified as Aleksi’s own. 

His moans. His mouth. His greedy fingers sinking into Aleksi’s hair. Aleksi has no energy, no willpower to stop them.

It happens, and Aleksi lets it happen. It happens, and it’s incredible in all the wrong ways and terrible in all the right ways. It happens, and it’s the best (and worst) thing that ever did happen. 

Olli smells of vanilla and hotel room soap. Somehow the scent is strongest in his neck, so that’s where Aleksi buries his nose and leaves the rest of his tired kisses before they fall asleep.

Olli lets him, so Aleksi supposes he’s not much better than him.

v.

[in the bathroom]

He stares at the text until he can’t see it anymore, until it becomes a blur and mixes with everything else in the message thread (pointless pictures and reckless I-miss-yous at three in the morning). 

‘You looked so good’, but not as good as you did that night, sweaty and breathless next to me. ‘You looked so good’, but not as good as you did when you climbed over me, pinned me down, sank inside me. ‘You both looked so good’, yes, she’s a goddess and you’re every bit as divine as she is, and I deserve neither of you.

And neither of you deserve me, the lowest scum of the earth for playing with you both like this. 

“Ale?” 

He can’t stop his breaths coming out in short gasps and choked sobs. 

“Ale, is everything okay? Should I get–”

“Don't.”

“Can you unlock the door, then? Please? Aleksi, I’m getting worried here. Have you taken something?”

He’s still sobbing when Joonas walks in. The spikes of Joonas’s jacket are rough against his cheek.

This time, Joonas asks no questions, not even with his eyes. There’s only oh, Aleksi, and I wish you’d just tell me already, but the tone isn’t demanding.

“Tomorrow,” Aleksi promises.

vi.

[outside]

Joonas redoes Aleksi's eyeliner and takes his hand. It’s no longer sleeting outside, but Joonas still wants his umbrella from the cloakroom. 

Aleksi reads the text again and squeezes Joonas’ hand. 

I wish you were here.

“Okay, let’s go.”

Joonas offers him a cigarette from the packet he made Aleksi fish from his pocket for him. He takes it and remembers Olli’s drunken cigarette kisses on a summer night in Oulu. 

I wish you were here. 

“Fuck, the wind is cold tonight.”

Aleksi agrees. He listens to Joonas’ nail decorations clink and thinks of Olli’s chain necklace on the bedside table next to his own.

I wish you were here.

“Gonna need another drink to warm up. I hope they’ll have some good whiskey.”

Olli’s lips tasted like whiskey once. Aleksi no longer remembers where it was, only that his own did too the morning after.

I wish you were here.

“Aight. Let’s get back inside?”

Aleksi almost gets too lost in the memory to answer. 

“Yeah, I’m right behind you, just… just need another moment.” 

Joonas looks at him almost long enough for Aleksi to follow him after all (or perhaps open his mouth and tell him everything right there on the street), but leaves eventually. The second he’s gone, Aleksi opens Olli’s text again.

The wind is blowing right through him, but it’s not enough to stop his fingers from moving along the keyboard.

I wish you were here.

That wasn’t the whole truth, and he knew Olli knew that. Hell, sometimes he felt as if the whole fucking world knew that, probably better than he himself did.

I wish you were here, so that we could snicker at Joonas speaking out of his turn in interviews. I wish you were here, so I could find your hand under the table and intertwine our fingers until someone would walk by and we’d get too scared. I wish you were here, so I could whisper you a joke only we find funny. I wish you were here, so I could take you somewhere no one can see us and bite your neck so that everyone will see it afterwards. I wish you were here, so I could take you anywhere else but here, because I can’t take you home with me.

I wish I could take you home with me.

I wish you were her.

[theflyingfeeling]

no one asked but here's some more of that cursed Olli/Allu + infidelity trope for y'all, do what you will with this 💔

~

Aleksi couldn't sleep.

He couldn't sleep, so he stared at the ceiling of Olli's guest room, barely able to make out the panelling through the darkness. He couldn't sleep, so he tossed and turned and cursed his aching knees for hitting him when he was already down, bending double in his agony. He couldn't sleep, so he kept kicking the duvet Olli's girlfriend had given him and pulling it over himself again to muffle his frustrated groans.

He couldn't sleep, so he kept replying it in his mind over and over again.

~*~

The new album was the best they had ever made, yet Aleksi wanted to mute it so he could've listened to Olli talk about how he had created the cover art. The wintery scene surrounding them on the frozen Nallikari was breathtaking, but Aleksi only had eyes for Olli and his rosy cheeks.

Aleksi loved playing shows and the adrenaline rush they gave him, but none of that compared to the thrill of Olli standing in front of him and sliding his frozen fingers in the pockets of Aleksi's quilted coat to warm them up. "Forgot my gloves", he said, although to Aleksi the reason was irrelevant.

He had wanted to kiss Olli right there and then already, the freezing sea breeze (and his own piercing fear) the only force keeping him standing straight instead of leaning in. When he finally did kiss Olli, later that day back in Olli's house with Olli's girlfriend asleep in the next room, it felt nothing like the northern wind that had blown right through him hours earlier; instead it felt like those days in early spring when you could finally feel the sun warm you up again after months of cold and darkness and emptiness, because that was exactly how it was for Aleksi: finally getting to feel something he had been longing for. For how long, he wasn't even sure himself.

For months?

(For years?)

(Ever since he understood what longing for someone actually felt like?)

"Uhh," Olli said to his lips, breaking the kiss. "I need to go. Sorry."

And Aleksi had let him, because what else was he supposed to do? Olli had somewhere to be, someone else to sleep next to, and Aleksi, even in his deepest fantasies, had no right to ask him to stay, to ask him to kiss him back again like their lips were built for it (because that's what it had felt like when Olli had kissed him back), to ask him to take him any way he wanted (Aleksi had already imagined them all by then). He couldn't do that, because they couldn't do that, because the universe had a fucked-up sense of humour and had put the two of them together in this infernal parrallel reality in which they could never have each other the way Aleksi needed for them to have each other.

And so Aleksi sat on the thin mattress he had helped Olli get out of the storeroom with endless giggles Aleksi could still feel in his stomach muscles, avoiding having to lie down and smell the fabric softener from the bedsheets and imagine Olli and his girlfriend selecting it together while grocery shopping. Aleksi had grown used to it back at home, avoiding going back upstairs and lie down on his side of the bed and pretend all his thoughts were not consumed by someone else than the person who had – out of courtesy or habit or love, it made little difference anymore – left him a spot to curl up on as if nothing had changed.

The world's quietest knock on the guest room door was not something Aleksi had not expected, however, nor the helpless, almost apologetic look in Olli's eyes, a striking difference from the earlier playfulness on the ice or the hazy lust just seconds before Aleksi had put his lips on Olli's. Now, Olli's eyes were sombre, woeful, and Aleksi could not think of a more blissful fate than to let himself drown in them.

Olli was careful when he closed the door behind him; Aleksi knew exactly why, but anything that was lying in wait for them outside the room vanished when Olli crouched down in front of him and on the mattress with a finger on his lips, ordering Aleksi to not let out a sound. He didn't, not even when Olli took the finger away and replaced it with Aleksi's lips on his, pushing him down the mattress before Aleksi could fight back (like hell he would have).

When Olli kissed down his neck, he tempted his fate and sighed as loud as he dared to without defying Olli's silent directions too much in fear of Olli coming to his senses and rushing out of the room, but on the contrary, Olli only seemed to become more hungry listening to Aleksi's gasps and voiceless moans. Olli's hands found the underside of Aleksi's t-shirt, one he had borrowed from Olli to sleep in with no intention to ever give it back, and Aleksi's attempts to stay quiet became more strenuous by every inch of skin Olli's hands glided on. Olli himself was already topless when he had showed up at the guestroom door frame, which gave Aleksi all the wrong reasons to not stop Olli when he undressed him of his shirt (in his defence (or to his utmost shame), half of him was already imagining their clothless chests pressed together seconds before it actually happened).

Aleksi was more than aware of Olli's hardness grinding against his own, the friction it provided sending Aleksi to heaven by each needy movement of Olli's hips. He was more than ravenous for Olli's touch, starving for it, the hunger for it the driving force for all his actions in that moment. More than anything, Aleksi was in love; in love with the feeling of Olli's hungry mouth on his and his erection grinding next to his own on his abdomen and Olli's long bass player's fingers working him open and their hearts screaming each other by name and with Olli's eyes nailing him to the mattress when they broke apart for some air before their desire would suffocate them.

"Not a sound," Olli mouthed to him when he finally slid inside Aleksi, and with the thinnest thread of willpower Aleksi managed to keep himself from crying into the night like a wolf at the moon. He felt Olli move inside him, first slowly and carefully and – Aleksi couldn't stand it – lovingly, until he found a new rhythm and begun to thrust with more force and lust and need and everything else Aleksi wanted from him, even if none of it would never be his to keep in the end.

Aleksi wrapped his legs tightly around Olli to force him even closer even though Olli was already literally inside him. As per Olli's orders, he didn't dare to speak, but he hoped the look on his face would be enough to let Olli know what he wanted: 'faster, harder, more, right there, like that, don't stop, for the love of god don't let this end, because if I get to have you inside me for one night and then never again, I'd rather this be my mortal moment'.

Seeing the bliss on Olli's face as he thrusted into him eagerly was almost a greater pleasure to Aleksi than the cock moving inside him. That was why, although on the brink of his climax, he fought against it as best as he could, just so he would still be in his senses to witness Olli reaching his own. They kissed once more before either of them got there, their mouths and bodies melting together, with Olli's hands gripping the sheets as Aleksi's moved to his bottocks to urge him to move faster. Aleksi tasted salt and desperation on Olli's lips, from sweat and the growing need to get his release, but when Aleksi felt Olli's teeth bite into his bottom lip, he knew it was only a matter of seconds.

Olli came inside him with a heavy breath that only barely was quiet enough to not be heard outside the room, or so Aleksi hoped, more for Olli's sake than his own. Olli's eyes rolled back for a split second and he stopped thrusting to catch his breath, before looking down at Aleksi and rolling his hips in a circle in such a tormenting way that made Aleksi want to ask Olli what he wanted of him.

Aleksi himself knew exactly what he wanted of Olli, and as if the man was reading his mind (Aleksi did not even dare to imagine the possibility), he took Aleksi in his hand and helped him over the edge, still throbbing inside him, still as if holding Aleksi's heart in his hands instead of his spilling cock.

Then, suddenly, the sea inside Aleksi was as calm as the one under the ice on which they had stood earlier that day, with Olli's hands inside his pockets and Aleksi's everything in Olli's gaze. He had no choice but to hope Olli felt the same when he lay next to Aleksi on the narrow mattress, hand on his stomach and mouth on his neck, and Aleksi might have fallen asleep there, if all too soon Olli had not sat up without saying a word (even if the kiss he left on Aleksi's shoulder said more than any word that could've fallen from between Olli's perfect lips).

He stopped to look at Aleksi by the door on his way out, but his expression was unreadable. Maybe it was the darkness of the room, maybe it was something else. Aleksi could not bring himself to ponder between options.

(He did anyway.)

~*~

Aleksi couldn't sleep, but that was the smallest of his problems.

[theflyingfeeling]

an Olli/Aleksi/Jere (RBFH) smut fic idea I'm begginggggggg for anyone to use:

Aleksi is poorly and tired and not in the mood to have sex & Olli has a high sexual drive and is feeling horny after a show -> Aleksi wants to keep Olli satisfied -> what if Jere was to substitute Aleksi in bed as well 👀 only with Aleksi’s blessing of course, actually he's the one suggesting it, and he might even be there to watch and give Jere orders what to do to Olli, since he's supposed to be him after all 🤭 bonus points if Aleksi is leisurely masturbating while enjoying the show 🥰

[theflyingfeeling]

Fourth Day of Gift-Giving: Four Flour Fails

Prompt: Their baking attempt ended up in a flour fight and with a small innocent puppy who now looked like a ghost dog

There is only one main character in this chapter and you all know who she is 🐶 Thanks for everyone who's read this story so far, I hope you've enjoyed it 🥺 The previous part can be found here 💕

~

Olli’s hair smelled of forest. Aleksi wasn’t sure how that was possible, but it did. He guessed it must have been because of the shampoo bottle Aleksi had seen in Olli’s bathroom, with a stylized drawing of pine twigs on the label, but part of him also wanted to believe it was some kind of magic, or that Olli was secretly a forest deity of some sort. Either way, Aleksi could not get enough of it, burying his nose in Olli’s curls over and over again, taking deep breaths to relish the sweet scent, all the while trying to resist the temptation of planting small kisses on the crown of Olli’s head. He thought they perhaps weren’t quite there yet, despite having gone way past innocent smooches weeks ago already.

For now, just lying in bed with Olli in his arms was more than enough. Aleksi still couldn’t make sense of what exactly had possessed him for him to be so bold at bedtime the night before, which, at last, had lead them to where they were now, but with Olli’s peaceful breaths tickling the sensitive skin on Aleksi’s neck, he was glad it had happened. It had been a shot in the dark, more or less, but it was the only chance he had had, since he had been foolish enough to ask Olli to share his bed with him; no doubt, Aleksi would have lost his mind for good if they had then just lied in the dark side by side, frozen in place, too anxious to hold each other close like they were supposed to, at least in Aleksi’s daydreams.

Indeed, Aleksi felt as if he was living one right now. Olli was like a daydream: soft and warm and incredible, and maybe just a little unreal.

“Mmmmmmmmhhh,” Olli hummed next to him and turned to lie on his back, forcing Aleksi to scoot closer if he wished to keep enjoying the foresty smell of Olli’s locks.

(He did.)

“Whatcha wanna do today?” Olli asked him, a hint of a smile in his tone. 

Aleksi had to mentally browse through a collection of answers that were either too much and too sudden, all things considered, (‘could we just lie here like this the whole day, warm and comfortable and happy?’) or too vulgar (‘you’) before he decided on something he could actually say out loud.

“Just something simple I guess. We could cook together or–”

“What, do you not trust me to cook for you anymore?”

Aleksi muffled his giggles in Olli’s hair.

“Just an idea.”

They lazed around in Olli’s bed for a little longer, not really doing much but enjoying each other’s presence, which was a welcome change to the tension that had threatened to overtake Aleksi’s visit in the north. When they could no longer procrastinate starting off their day – preparing breakfast and taking Rilla out for her morning walkies – they got up and did exactly that, still not talking a whole lot, but at least Aleksi felt way more content with the silence between them this time around. He wondered if Olli felt the same, and perhaps he did, if Aleksi was to judge by the small smiles Olli kept giving him over the breakfast table or while they walked at a leisurely pace in the crisp morning weather that suddenly didn’t feel half as cold as it had the day before. Such was the power of Olli’s smile, Aleksi reckoned.

The noon was spent mostly entertaining Rilla, although Aleksi for one was also hugely entertained by watching Olli laugh at Rilla’s antics and blush just a little when he finally noticed Aleksi looking at him (Aleksi, on the other hand? why, Aleksi Kaunisvesi was beyond such things, and even if his cheeks did warm up when he was caught staring, it was solely because the frost outside had bitten his cheeks particularly severely). When Rilla grew tired of playing, she promptly made herself comfortable on Olli’s lap again, shamelessly taking advantage of this new-found source of attention, and Aleksi too couldn’t help but rest his head on Olli’s shoulder, now that he knew he wouldn’t flinch away.

“She’s the cutest,” Olli said quietly, looking down at Rilla, gently petting her fur.

“I know.” Aleksi scratched her behind her ear, earning a long, happy sigh as his reward, which filled his whole chest with bubbling love. 

“I’d hate to disturb her though, but we need to go to the grocery store soon if we’re actually gonna cook something today. There’s nothing but the light in my fridge.”

Although it pained him to do so, Aleksi lifted his head from the crook of Olli’s neck where it fitted so well and sat up straight, taking out his phone.

“Could we just order some groceries in instead? It’s cold as fuck out there anyway, and sorry but I’m not sitting in that freezer of yours you call ‘a car’ until you have the A/C fixed.”

It wasn’t even the wittiest sample of Aleksi’s dry humour, but Olli giggled at it anyway, almost in stiches. As for Aleksi, he was hooked on the sound of Olli’s laughter, so he made a mental note of trying to crack as many stupid jokes as he could during his visit to hear it over and over and over again; often enough so that he could replay it in his head like his favourite record whenever he missed Olli too much.

~*~

There were certain pros and cons to online grocery shopping: on one hand, you never had to leave the comfort of your house if you were out of milk or happened to be craving some sweets but couldn’t for the life of you be bothered to stick your nose outside (especially if the temperature was roughly twenty degrees below zero). On one hand, it was very easy to order two whole cartons of eggs instead of one with just one slip of your finger.

“What the hell am I supposed to do with two dozen eggs, Aleksi?!”

Aleksi pursed his lips, feeling sorry for having accidentally caused a minor egg crisis in the Matela household by not having bothered to double-check their groceries order.

“We could bake a cake?”

“We did order a carton of whipping cream.” The look in Olli’s eyes told Aleksi he was already buying into his suggestion.

“Two cartons, actually."

(Yeah, maybe Aleksi could try being a little careful with the numbers next time.)

“And there are some berries in the freezer. A blueberry cake!”

And so the Great Egg Crisis was resolved and laughed about – at least until Aleksi saw the mess Olli was making as he measured the ingredients for the layer cake, brows furrowed as he studied the recipe they had found online. Aleksi would’ve helped, but he feared they would never eat dinner that night if he left Olli in charge of cooking the steaks. That was why he kept a subtle eye on Olli while seasoning the cutlets and another one on Rilla who kept scurrying by their feet begging for attention, but the second it was time for him to prepare the sauce – that is, the second he wasn’t looking – a hand appeared to wipe a white stripe on the side of his black t-shirt as if out of nowhere. However, judging by the colour of Olli’s hand and the menace in his eyes, it didn’t take long for Aleksi to figure out what he was about.

“The fuck?!”

Olli giggled and slapped his hand on Aleksi again, this time on his chest, leaving a white hand-shaped flour imprint on it. Seeing the evident surprise on Aleksi’s face had Olli almost bend over in chuckles at his masterful gag. 

“You’re such a child,” Aleksi muttered, hardly convincingly, his own hand already in the flour bag. His revenge was successful, as in the next moment, the front of Olli’s sweater was all but covered in white.

“Hey!” Olli objected, as if he was the victim, but Aleksi was already preparing his next blow with a fist full of flour.

Breathless laughter and a whirling cloud of white filled Olli’s small kitchen. In the midst of it all, Aleksi couldn’t exactly tell when the flourfight turned into a match of standing wrestling, with Olli shrieking every time Aleksi tickled his sides, nor was he any longer aware of the state of the sauce he was supposed to be stirring, not to mention the steaks that should've been flipped minutes ago. After all, there were much pressuring tasks for him to tend to, such as smothering Olli’s perfect hair with potato flour and smudging some cocoa powder on his annoyingly pretty face. They paused their childish shenanigans only when Rilla’s surprised little squeak snapped them out of it.

“Ohhhh no, Rilla!” Aleksi was too full of endorphins to hide his amusement as he saw the state of poor Rilla, with half of the contents of a flour bowl tipped all over her. The rest were on the floor by their feet, staining their socks and pant legs. 

“Poor little one,” he kept giggling, trying to shrug Rilla’s fur clean. “Olli, look what you did!”

“Me?! Sorry but I think it was your elbow that knocked that bowl down. I did nothing but defend myself!” Olli argued, a playful smile still on his lips, although his eyes were already growing a little worried as they took in the chaos they had created together.

“In any case, she’s gonna need a bath now. Come on girl, nawww, I’m so sorry!” Aleksi spoke to the the flour-covered dog, who still seemed a little clueless as to how she had ended up in the middle of a kitchen civil war. Then Aleksi picked her up in his arms and headed towards the bathroom; unlike Olli, he didn’t even dare inspect the state of the kitchen in too much detail yet. Instead, he nudged Olli to join them. “I’m gonna need your help with this one, she hates baths.”

~*~

If Aleksi wasn’t already completely taken by Olli, seeing how good he was with Rilla – who wasn’t the most easily befriendable of dogs, being a dachshund and all – made Aleksi swoon for the man. He already knew he was going to miss Olli terribly once they’d be apart again, just in general of course, but especially the next time he needed to give Rilla a sponging; to have an extra pair of hands distracting the dog from the bath crimes being committed against her sure made rinsing her fur a whole lot easier. In fact, it was all going so well that Aleksi may have showered her neck a little longer than necessary, just so he could listen to Olli’s babytalk at Rilla just a little longer and see how smitten Rilla was for him, wagging her little tail the entire time (which also never happened when Aleksi washed her).

“You’re such a good girl!” Aleksi praised her when giving her the final rubs from what Aleksi believed to be Olli’s softest towel. Then he sent her off to defiantly sulk in her dog bed, as she’d soon remember she was supposed to be cross with Aleksi for putting her through such devious torture.

“Oof,” Aleksi sighed as he stood up from the tiled floor of Olli’s bathroom, straightening his shirt that was still covered in flour, despite his efforts at swiping most of it off while giving Rilla a bath.

He had a strange feeling Olli was staring at him, so he looked up at his friend. Aleksi assumed they were mirror images of each other, with their stained clothes, dishevelled hair and blushed cheeks, but beside all that, he saw something different in Olli’s eyes; something that made Aleksi’s breath grow shallow with all the memories it stirred in him.

“You… you got a little something there,” Olli said, pointing at Aleksi’s cheek. 

Aleksi had no means – nor intentions for that matter – to resist an old-time trick like that.

“Where?” he played along, urging Olli to go on.

And Olli did, closing the short distance between them, his eyes fixed on a spot near Aleksi’s lips. 

Aleksi held his breath, afraid that any wrong action might result in them taking two steps back again instead of one forward.

“Right there,” Olli whispered and lifted his hand to Aleksi’s chin, swiping away an invisible spot off the corner of his lips before bringing them to his own.

[theflyingfeeling]

I literally explained the most unhinged fic to you, you don't get to do this. We like ridiculous and thrive in unhinged. Please do share this royal/ballet dancer au idea

as if I could actually shut up about my fic ideas on main 🤧 ping @mosvu and also @goth-automaton @sparfloxacin @cosmicfire 🖤

(still hiding it behind a readmore though lol)

Starting off with a disclaimer: I don't think there's anything revolutionary about this fic idea, it sounds very familiar to me and I swear I've read/seen something similar but I can't pinpoint it... In any case, it's not my intetion to copy anyone!

Then I'm just quickly gonna give you some pictures for aesthetic reasons / to illustrate what I'm imagining them to look like in this AU (clean-shaven and twinky for Olli, comfy-casual and twinky for Aleksi 🥰)

(pretend they're drinking tea lol)

And as I said, this is absolutely ridiculous lol, but I've been watching a lot of The Crown recently and this is not inspired by that per se, apart from the fact that Aleksi is some sort of royalty, a prince maybe but spare instead of direct heir to the throne, because I cannot imagine even a modern-day monarchy that wouldn't be sort of home-of-phobic lol. Anyway, Prince Alex is super lonely because he doesn't really go out much because he's an introvert and doesn't know how to handle all the attention, so he rather stays at home most of the time, trying to avoid any sort of public appearances if he only can help it.

The only place he goes to willingly and often is the Royal Ballet. There could be some sorta backstory to this actually 🤔 Maybe he had an aunt/uncle who he really liked as a child and would always take him to the ballet (this aunt/uncle was obviously queer and only years after their passing when Aleksi's already a grown-up he realises this).

One day Aleksi notices a new soloist, and even from the royal booth he can tell this new dancer is the most beautiful person Aleksi has ever seen 😭 He goes to watch the same ballet again literally the next day because he can't get the beautiful male dancer out of his mind and becomes so enamored with the man that he sends him flowers the next time he goes to see the show 💐

Meanwhile Olli is dumbfounded by his new admirer and can't really believe his luck after being handed the comically huge bouquet of flowers backstage after the show 😳 His fellow dancers all tease him and maybe also make fun of poor Prince Alex, who's always presented in the tabloids as this socially clumsy simpleton or something along those lines. Eventually Olli laughs along and decides it must be some sort of practical joke from his friends or whatever, because WHY would Prince Alex be sending flowers to him, of all the dancers in the Royal Ballet?

A couple of shows (and pompous flower deliveries) later, Olli is fetched by a fellow dancer again, telling him some important looking men are asking for him, and so he's taken to some kinda secluded room where Prince Alex is waiting to speak to him 😨 It's awkward more than anything else, and they're both uncomfortable because Olli doesn't know how to act around a member of the fucking royal family and poor Aleksi is desperately trying to appear casual and "normal" but he just doesn't know how 😭 He does manage to invite Olli "for tea" in the palace though, and obviously Olli agrees even though he's not entirely sure what he's agreeing to, because he can't say no to an invitation from the bloody prince now can he?! Prince Alex then leaves and Olli is freaking out and his colleagues keep asking what the prince wants with him and he doesn't know and later in the evening he rants the ears off his roommate Joonas about it 😩

At this point I need to give you some background info about Olli: he's bi and has a sort-of-girlfriend (another ballet dancer); I say 'sort of' because they're mostly just having sex instead of actually dating. Olli also occasionally hooks up with Joonas when they're both horny enough. This is relevant later on 😏

The day of Olli's "tea party" with Prince Alex comes and he's picked up from his apartment by a black car and driven straight to the palace where he's taken to the prince's personal chambers (this is already starting to sound kinky lol). They do drink tea but nothing much else happens because Aleksi is just too goddamn nervous in front of this beautiful human being to think of much to say (relatable af eh? 😭), and Olli feels sorry for him but he can't really come up with anything to talk about either because he's still not quite sure what's going on and why he's even there in the first place and what could a commoner like him even say to an actualy real-life prince? 😬

I mean, I haven't quite figured out myself what Aleksi's intentions here are lol, only that it's not as creepy as it may sound. I guess he just wanted to get to know this beautiful ballet dancer better and couldn't think of any other way to do it other than having him driven to the palace 🙈 I need you to imagine him tossing and turning in his bed unable to sleep because he just can't stop thinking about this ballet dancer, and maybe his brother the crown prince fished enough information out of him to learn his little bro is lusting after some ballet dancer and, thinking it's a female dancer, tells him to just "have them come over for 'some tea' lol, you know grandpa used to do that all the time with dancers from the Royal Ballet" (🙃), and jokes on the crown prince, Aleksi does exactly that, because it's not like he'd ever be able to hang out with this person in public 😶 And just to clarify, he did NOT invite Olli over for the same reason his grandfather may have been inviting those dancers (🙃🙃🙃), he just wanted a friend to talk to other than his brother and maybe the occasional entitled af cousin 😭

After the first meeting Olli tells all about it to Joonas who cackles all through the story as he imagines Olli and the prince just sitting in silence and sipping tea and Olli even spilling some on a very expensive-looking royal rug. Olli doesn't think it's quite as funny at first until they're both laughing about it, because he might as well, since the prince won't definitely be inviting him over for tea again, right?

Wrong! Some days later he receives a similar invitation which he simply doesn't know how to turn down (this time the invitation is delivered just from a royal security dude at the door of the backstage room at the ballet, before the show so that Olli almost trips on his own feet stressing about it on stage). The next day he's fetched from his apartment again, and this time the prince seems a tiny bit more relaxed and asks Olli all sorts of questions about his dancer career to have him relax too. It then occurs to Olli that the prince must just be incredibly lonely and in need of a conversation partner, although he still can't figure out why he was the one chosen for the purpose.

Time passes and Olli starts visiting the prince more regularly, so that he can no longer hide it from his sort-of-girlfriend, who is just as curious as Olli is to find out why the prince has taken such a liking to Olli. Olli wishes he knew, especially because the more he spends time with the prince, the more he begins to like him; his sense of humour and his kind, calm nature and, of course, his looks, both with and without glasses. He curses his horny bisexual ass for beginning to fantasize about the prince, because what chance would he ever have with someone so above him in the class hierarchy? And even if he would, he's a prince for fuck's sake, so it would be doomed before it would even begin.

He talks about prince Alex to his roommate Joonas aaaaaaall the time, enough for Joonas to get the gist eventually, although he says nothing of it, because he reckons he should let Olli have that realisation by himself 🤭

I don't think I'm ever actually going to write this (the perfectionist in me would not want to half-ass any ballet nor royalty-related details), but if I did, it would be so incredibly slow burn that Olli and Prince Alex wouldn't even kiss until chapter 12 or something lol. But when they do, it quickly escalates from there, because they're just so into each other and it just feels so nice 😭 so that eventually they start making out the second Olli enters Aleksi's chambers lol, and maybe there's also some dry humping on a very old and expensive satin sofa 🥰

And I hope you hadn't forgotten about the 'anal fingering' tag I talked about lol, because oh my oh my 😌 So Olli is still seeing that girl from his ballet company, mostly just to hook up because he doesn't really know how to say no to people (and the sex is still pretty good tbf). One day while blowing/wanking him, the girl sneaks a finger up his bum. Olli sort of freaks out, mostly because he's caught off guard but also because it felt surprisingly good, even though he asked the girl to stop (he's a top and has never been penetrated before; btw this is low-key inspired by a scene in the latest season of Sex Education lol). He becomes curious though and later asks Joonas about how it feels. Joonas, the good fuck-buddy he is, offers to finger Olli, and......... yeah. Imagine Olli arching his back in pleasure as Joonas fingers him 🥵

So the next time he visits the prince and they get all hot and bothered, he instructs Aleksi to finger him and 🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴 (now imagine Aleksi sitting on that royal sofa and Olli straddling him, sort of 'riding' his fingers until he cums 😳🫠

Aaaaaaaand that's about how far I've gotten with this as of yet, I sort of got stuck with the visual image of Olli being fingered 🙈 obviously this has a happy ending, although not without drama, but I'm yet to figure out the rest of this. I'll keep you updated? 😇 One scene that I have imagined that would take place way after Olli and Prince Alex are deep in their secret relationship is one of Olli helping Aleksi put on some black eyeliner and other cool make-up to make him unrecognizable (at least at first glance) and oh-so-hot so that they can hit the club together and make out on the dance floor without no one batting an eye 🥰 (obviously this would eventually end up on the tabloids when someone recognizes him but sshhhhh let's not talk about that 😭)

The others will be there too, of course, even though I haven't really given that much thought. I was thinking Tommi could be Joonas new-found fuck buddy since Olli is now too busy fucking the prince. I was also first thinking Joonas could be a ballet dancer as well, but I think I'd prefer him to be doing something else (or maybe he used to be a dancer and that's how he and Olli met but he had to retire because of an injury or smth). Joel could also be their more grumpy roommate, a catwalk model maybe. Niko? No clue. Any ideas? 👀

[theflyingfeeling]

just spelling out the obvious <3

for your memeing needs:

[theflyingfeeling]

Sixth Day of Gift-Giving: Sappy Sentences

Prompt: “I missed you like I never missed anyone before.”

Short and sweet and sappy with little to no plot, much uwu about nothing if you will 💕 Read the previous part of the story here (day 5 was unrelated to the on-going story)

~

Warmth spread to Olli’s entire body as the two of them softened into the kiss. He felt his knees shake just a bit, probably from having been crouching by the bathtub keeping Rilla entertained during her bath, but likely also from just the sheer thrill of having Aleksi’s mouth on his once again. Combined with the adrenaline still buzzing in his veins from the silly flour fight, Olli was sure he would’ve collapsed at Aleksi’s feet like a fair maiden if Aleksi had not been holding him firmly by his hips.

Kissing Aleksi felt familiar, because it was, yet it felt entirely different than it had That One Night. There was eagerness, but no haste; desire, but no pressuring urge; craving, but this time there was no voice in Olli’s head convincing him he was wrong in submitting to this forbidden lust he had been harbouring for so long, the lust that had at last been lured out in the dark of their hotel room by two or three glasses of wine too many and eight hectic consecutive days of playing late-night shows in a different North American town every night, with radio interviews or promotional events to attend in between. Back then, Olli hadn’t even been in the mindset to really pay attention to detail, such as the gentleness of Aleksi’s touch (or maybe it had just been that much more desperate the last time) or the small sighs he let out when they broke apart to catch their breath before connecting their lips once more (although, it might as well be they simply hadn’t stopped when they had last been intimate like this, too consumed by their hunger for each other that pausing had not been an option until they’d passed out). 

The one thing he did remember and which felt exactly as it had then was the softness of Aleksi’s hair at the back of his neck where Olli’s hands were currently roaming, feeling every inch, tracing the same trails they had once travelled with the fear of perhaps never being given the chance to do so ever again. It was all so lovely that it overwhelmed Olli a little and he was forced to break the kiss again, his forehead and nose still pressed against Aleksi’s as he breathed heavily, a short, somewhat incredulous laugh escaping his mouth.

He tried his best to come up with something to say, but it was as if Aleksi had inhaled all the words out of his brain. Accepting how it was, Olli laughed again, torn between kissing Aleksi once more or just enjoying the comfortable intimacy between them. 

“Oh. Fuck,” Aleksi said after a while, just as Olli had made up his mind about leaning in for another kiss.

“What?” Olli asked. He had to consciously force his looming insecurities aside as to appear lighthearted, despite his heart almost skipping a beat when he saw Aleksi’s regretful wince.

“I, umm… I thought I had turned off the stove before we came here to wash Rilla but… it smells like I maybe didn’t after all?”

It was now that Aleksi mentioned it when Olli, too, could detect a faint smell of smoke, presumably coming from his kitchen.

Oh. Fuck. 

~*~

“You know what? I say we should’ve just ordered take-out in the first place,” Aleksi said with a grin, scooping the last of his dessert pudding. Olli had to agree; the three-course meal delivered to their door from Olli’s favourite restaurant downtown had been more delicious than probably anything they would’ve cooked themselves (or at least if Olli would have been contributing). 

“Or gone to a restaurant, never mind the weather. Even that would’ve required less effort than…” Aleksi trailed off, glancing around the kitchen. It had taken them a good while to get the floor clean from all the flour and to air out the room to get rid of the smell of burnt food (...again) without letting too much warmth from the indoors be wasted. By the time their actually edible dinner arrived, they had barely had time to wipe sweat off their foreheads and exchange a few easy, yet still somewhat shy kisses: easy because their mouths fit together so perfectly, and shy because they still couldn’t quite believe it really was happening. 

“Would you like to go to a restaurant, then? Tomorrow, for example?” Olli suggested, his cheeks suddenly feeling warmer, as if he was a teenager asking their crush out on a date for the first time.

“That would be nice, I think,” Aleksi smiled. Then he seemed to hesitate for a moment before reaching over the table to take Olli’s hand in his. The simple touch made Olli swoon. He could’ve easily spent the rest of the evening just like that, sitting by the kitchen table, holding the hand of a special someone who had only moments ago made Olli the happiest he had been in a long while by kissing him back in the bathroom (of all places), but the sounds of a little nose sniffing around behind the front door in the hallway brought them both back to earth from the pink cloud they had been floating on for the few seconds they had fondled each others fingers. 

“She needs to go out soon,” Aleksi sighed. In his mind, Olli decided Aleksi would’ve rather stayed like that for a little longer as well (he wasn’t going to make a total fool of himself by asking, for goodness' sake).

“We better bundle up, then. It just started snowing.”

~*~

Rilla didn’t seem to mind the minor blizzard, which was quite uncharacteristic of her, at least according to Aleksi. They could hardly keep up with the dachshund as she lead the way, only stopping to do her business or to poke a suspicious-looking lump of snow with her nose every now and then. Perhaps the fresh tracks left on the snow by a hare gave Rilla the extra motivation to keep going.

Then, she suddenly stopped. Maybe she had heard something the human ear was deaf to, or smelled the hare that had clearly escaped in the nearby woods and was probably watching them from the dark. Either way, it offered Olli an opportunity to slide his hands inside Aleksi’s open winter jacket to warm himself and press soft kisses to his cheek and lips, not caring if his neighbours might see them.

“I’m so happy you’re here.”

“Where else would I be?” Aleksi mumbled against Olli’s lips, making Olli want to kiss him harder (and he did). 

By their feet, Rilla sat down, her brown button eyes staring intensely into the dark forest.

“I mean. I’m glad you asked me to come,” Aleksi said once they broke the kiss. “I’m not sure if I would have dared to suggest it myself.”

Olli said nothing, but kept grazing his nose against Aleksi’s cheek, leaving his lips free in case he wanted to keep talking.

“But I was… losing my mind over how much I missed you. More than I’ve ever missed anyone in my life before. It was… confusing, even.”

“I know,” Olli then responded. He knew all too well what Aleksi was talking about; missing someone who you were not supposed to be missing quite that much; longing for their company although you spent more time together than you did apart during the average year; craving for their touch of which you had only been given a mere taste before. It was baffling, to say the least – heart-wrenching, to be more exact. Some days, Olli had almost felt like carving his entire heart out of his chest and sending it to Aleksi in Helsinki, since it belonged to him anyway and would be of no use to Olli without the man near him. 

“I know,” Olli repeated, for the lack of anything better to say. He doubted Aleksi would’ve found his heart-carving plans particularly romantic, so he settled for just kissing him again, soft snowfall speckling their clothes as the pines and fir trees surrounding them murmured their stories in the December breeze.

[theflyingfeeling]

hi yes it's me writing another Olli/Allu shortie, inspired by the tags in @xgiuliawrites' latest fic (which y'all should go read immediately if you haven't), particularly I was intrigued by the tags sauna, masturbation, and accidental voyeurism 😳

~*~

Aleksi had not meant for it to happen, because of course he hadn't. He hadn't planned to let his imagination run quite so wild, too wild, while sitting next to Olli in the sauna just moments ago, trying to look everywhere else but Olli's happy trail, trying hard not to imagine the salty taste if he was to place a hungry kiss there (he blamed Porko's stupid playlist which had Olli humming a song about pouring tequila in one's belly button in between throwing more water on the stones, pushing Aleksi's agony to the brink of his sanity).

Likewise, he had not intented to grow a semi while washing himself, the knowledge that Olli might have been staring at his bare backside the entire time exciting Aleksi as much as intimidating him (he blamed the wonky reflection on the shower tap the revealed Olli's eyes travelling up and down his body as he showered).

Even less so, his intention being to get out of the changing room and in the cold winter air as fast as he could to kill his budding boner before it would become a problem, he most certainly had not forgotten his toiletry bag on the changing room bench on purpose. Yet, there he was now, mouth hanging open at the sight he was witnessing through the tinted glass door of the sauna, the toiletry bag and his plans of cooling down long forgotten (for which he only had himself to blame, let's face it).

With his long lashes resting against his cheekbones, it was clear Olli had not noticed Aleksi's return, otherwise he obviously wouldn't have ended up in this situation. That was why he should've turned back the second he had realised what was happening on the other side of the glass door separating the sauna and the changing room, as that's what a good friend and a decent person would've done, immediately and with no hesitation. However, as the past week had proved, Aleksi was not a good friend; verily, he was a horrible, useless, and immoral friend who had gone and started having sexual fantasies about his hot, funny and super cute bandmate late at night while sleeping next to that very bandmate on their song-writing camp combined with a winter holiday (even if no one could hardly blame Aleksi for it, because who wouldn't start lusting over the divine being that was Olli Matela, especially when one got to lay beside his gorgeous naked body at night).

Indeed, there was no denying Aleksi was no decent person either, not with his eyes nailed to Olli as he pleasured himself in the heat of the sauna.

The soles of Olli's feet were pressed against the foot rail, which was exactly how Aleksi had left him, but while Olli's knees had then been close together with his arms relaxed on them, they were now wide apart to fully expose Olli's cock, pointing towards the ceiling with his hand stroking it at a leisurely pace. The hardness of his erection, standing proudly while Olli's fingers slid up and down the length, was a dead giveaway that Olli had wasted no time since Aleksi had left – either that, or he, too, had felt the strange, steamy tension during their shared sauna moment.

While Olli's right hand was devoted to rubbing his erection, his left one was free to roam all over his sweaty torso, which did nothing to ease the building pressure in Aleksi's pants. Aleksi let out a lustful sigh as he watched Olli's hand caress his own abdomen, fondling the happy trail Aleksi himself had lusted over just a few moments ago. When the hand moved up again to massage Olli's chest and to tease a red, harneded nipple, Aleksi had to sunk his teeth into his bottom lip to stop himself from whining out loud. He craved to replace Olli's hand with his own, to be the one giving Olli such bliss that had his head thump against the sauna panelling and his stomach sinking in a deep, euphoric sigh.

Only then – hearing the thud of Olli's head resting against the wall behind him – Aleksi could bear to leave the sight of Olli's body and look up at his face instead. There, Aleksi found a small smile, only barely visible through the coloured glass door, but it spoke volumes of how much Olli was enjoying himself. Aleksi wished he could've joined Olli in his pleasure, perhaps even be the reason for it, but for now he had to settle for palming himself through his trousers to give his own aching cock some much-needed relief. Shortly after, guilt forced him to remove his hand and dig his nails into his thighs when he felt himself getting close to coming embarrassingly quickly.

He should leave. He should throw himself in the snow and let the blizzard bury him, or whatever it would take to reboot his brain and erase all the images of Olli sitting on the sauna bench with his legs spread and his hand pumping up and down on his long, rock-hard cock, because there was no way he would be able to look his friend in the eye after this, let alone sleep next to him under any circumstances.

Just when Aleksi had convinced himself to make his silent escape and perhaps drown himself in the hole Tommi and Niko had sawed in the ice for some post-sauna ice swimming, as that was the least he deserved for being such a pervert, a low moan from the sauna nailed Aleksi's feet to the floor.

His eyes found Olli's erection again to immediately notice that the earlier calm, almost lazy pace of Olli's hand had now been replaced with a much quicker one, one that was determined to take Olli closer to his release with each long stroke. His left hand had abandoned his nipple and was instead fondling his balls, which seemed to bring Olli a great deal of additional pleasure, if the ecstatic expression on his face was anything to go by.

"Aaahhhh... aaaahhhhhh..." Olli's grunts went straight to Aleksi's cock that was twitching inside his boxers as if to poke at Aleksi for his attention. He didn't dare touch himself again, though, having decided he'd rather freeze his own penis by sticking his hard-on in a bank of snow than walk through the living room with jizz in his pants.

As Olli's moans grew louder and more frequent, Aleksi realised he wouldn't probably even need to grab his cock to come undone in his pants from just looking at Olli, at his hardened bicep, at his hair-covered chest expanding and sinking rapidly, at his glistening cock inside his fist that hastened its movements by the second until streaks of white fell on Olli's stomach with one last moan (more like a whine (more like the sweetest single sound that had ever blessed Aleksi's ears)).

Aleksi ignored the throbbing in his pants as he devoured Olli, who was now relaxing against the wall completely, his fingers but resting on his still hard member instead of gripping it in search for an orgasm.

A satisfied, laid-back smile spread on Olli's lips, and all too late Aleksi understood what for. All too late, Aleksi realised he had missed his cue to cut and run in shame, when Olli opened his eyes to look straight into his.

Olli's smile didn't falter, and there was no sign of shock or embarassement in his dark gaze. If anything, the smile widened, and the already horny look in his eyes grew ever more lewd as it flickered between Aleksi's face and his crotch, Aleksi's hand doing a poor job hiding the tent on the front of this sweatpants.

Olli raised an eyebrow and nodded towards it.

"Need a hand with that?"

[theflyingfeeling]

i am here today to bring you a collection of terrible quality screenshots of olli on the exercise ball

but first let me direct your focus on the right things

i love tommi slowly turning to look at aleksi while olli's bouncing in front of them

and in the last pic joonas also turns to look at allu pretty meaningfully

meanwhile aleksis own gaze is locked on ollis butt and he's trying hard to not look back at tommi or joonas so he doesnt reveal anything to the audience (not at all because hes trying not to laugh and make noice)

and lastly the proud smile he shows joonas after he finally dares to look his way

he has made olli do that before

not actually saying anything has ever happened between them but these pics are pretty telling.. of last night

okay yeah that all for now, bye :)🐢

oooooooh they do glance at Aleksi like that 👀😏

he looks so proud because he gets to see Olli bounce on his balls every night sagdshfhsfsh

also, let us please consider this moment (pointed out by @cosmicfire):

...the moment Olli has his butt up, Aleksi has to look away probably just to hide his smile because if he keeps on looking he's sure to pop a boner on national television 😳🙊

in conclusion, they are so doing it <3

[theflyingfeeling]

one day I'll stop writing the awful terrible morally questionable Olli/Allu infidelity AU 😭 ...not today however 👀

[set after the Nokia Arena show]

~

It was wrong when they did it on the road, and Olli knew that. They both did, although they never talked about it; never once stopped to have that conversation in between all the sloppy handjobs and the nights secretly spent tangled up under the covers.

It was different, however, to do it somewhere in between Nowheresville and Onehorsetown on the tour bus at 2 am or in a hotel room in a hotel room in Bilbao, where it was easy to pretend they were in an entirely different time and place and universe, one in which they weren't going to Hell for what they got up to behind closed doors, if such as place as Hell even existed.

It did to Olli; it existed in the way Aleksi look straight into his eyes while his girlfriend's lips were right by his ear, whispering something Olli never wanted to hear about. Then again, so did Heaven, in the way he was now pressed in between the cold bathroom wall tiles and Aleksi's hot body, mere minutes after Aleksi had whispered the girl something back and stood up, the glance he then shoot at Olli both an invitation and a warning.

In that little heaven of his, Aleksi's lips were salty from his sweat and sweet from the Pepsi he had been drinking, just the perfect combination to make Olli tighten his grip on Aleksi's lips and pull him even closer.

"I saw you looking at me," he told Aleksi as his hands found their way under Aleksi's shirt. "During the show. When you thought I wouldn't notice."

"You wish." Aleksi's answer came out almost aggressively, emphasised by the fierce tugs on Olli's collar.

In some strange way, Olli adored it.

"You like the way my ass looks like in those trousers, huh?" He stole another kiss and let his tongue linger in between Aleksi's lips to see the fury glow in Aleksi's black-rimmed eyes.

"Fuck you," Aleksi growled. The hard cock grinding against Olli's thigh seemed to agree, although probably in a very different way than in which Aleksi meant for his words to be perceived. Olli's own was throbbing and just as hard inside his pants, and he rolled his hips to meet Aleksi's thrusts for some much-needed friction that lured a quiet moan from Olli's throat straight into Aleksi's mouth. Accompanying him, Aleksi let out small sighs every time Olli pushed his thigh against his bulge, the spiteful fuck you from his lips turning to nothing more but a dark twinkle in the corner of his eye by every lust-filled second that passed.

"Blow me," Olli growled back at him. Not that I'm opposed to letting you fuck me, he added in his mind, but because I just really, really, really need my cock in your mouth right now.

Aleksi kissed him even harder after that, with so much force that for a second Olli thought Aleksi was trying to push him through the wall, to the private lounge where all their parents and spouses were. Olli doubted even that would've been enough for him to stop Aleksi.

With quick fingers Aleksi unbuckled Olli's belt while mouthing and nuzzling his nose against Olli's stomach. Once the belt was off and the trousers unzipped, Aleksi kissed his way down Olli's happy trail to the elastic band of his boxers, wasting no time to pull them down.

Time, after all, was something they never really had, not in this world at least.

Just barely Olli managed to muffle his first moan on his palm when Aleksi took him in his mouth with no warning. His tongue immediately found its usual place on the underside of Olli's cock, and his wet lips wrapped around it tightly as if they were made to hold Olli's hardened length between them.

(Secretly Olli thought they were.)

As the first waves of shock had washed over and turned into familiar pleasure, Olli dared to remove the hand covering his mouth and buried his fingers in Aleksi's hair. He had offered to trim it for Aleksi just the other week, but Aleksi had refused, telling him he was still growing it out. When they were like this, with Aleksi on his knees and Olli's leaking erection in his mouth, Olli couldn't bring himself to argue against it. Perhaps that's exactly why Aleksi was so opposed to the idea; perhaps he liked it when Olli guided his movements on his cock by gripping his hair, or when Olli twirled the overgrown locks around his fingers them as they lay in bed in a pitch black hotel room, the darkness and the looming guilt surrounding them.

And so he did now, gripping a handful of blonde hair with his left hand to keep Aleksi's head still as he thrusted in, gently although he knew Aleksi could take much more, while his right hand fondled the soft hair behind Aleksi's ear to let he know he was doing well.

(To let him know Olli loved him, even if it wasn't in his place to do so.)

Aleksi's warm mouth pleasured him tirelessly and skillfully, slowing down at the tip every now and then to kiss the head of Olli's throbbing member before diving down again until Olli could feel the cool metal of Aleksi's septum near the base of his cock, a sensation which drove Olli mad each time. In the meantime, Aleksi's fingernails were digging into Olli's bottocks, deep as if with an intention to cut through the skin.

(To let Olli know he loved him back, or so Olli wanted to believe anyway, even if he shouldn't have.)

Olli knew he wouldn't have to announce his nearing climax. Aleksi could tell when he was about to come anyway; Aleksi wouldn't mind taking his load, the thought of which Olli tried to push away from his mind for as long as he could or else he'd fill Aleksi's mouth in a heartbeat. What Olli didn't know was how Aleksi did it, often anticipating Olli's orgasm way ahead of him, began loosening his grip and instead massaging his bottocks or his balls, sometimes even his belly if they weren't in an awful hurry. It wasn't one of those times now, OIlli was well aware of that, yet he still hoped Aleksi would have slid his palms to his abdomen and stroked him there, teased his happy trail or caressed his hipbone and made Olli melt in his hands until he couldn't hold the moans in anymore.

It wasn't one of those nights now, despite the euphoria of the arena show, not with their loved ones just outside the door, not with how one of Aleksi's nails was sharp enough to make Olli bleed.

Olli didn't notice it until afterwards though, until after Aleksi had grabbed his twitching cock to keep it still as it painted Aleksi's lips and mouth and jaw white and he saw a smudge of red on Aleksi's finger. A moment later, before Olli could say anything, the finger disappeared inside Aleksi's own mouth and came out clean from both cum and blood.

While Olli was too stunned to speak, Aleksi stood up and started undoing his own trousers. His hands were visibly trembling, as if nervous of otherwise troubled – or maybe just frustrated, growing impatient to get his own release. Olli helped him out of his pants and took Aleksi's hot cock inside his fist, letting Aleksi start thrusting into it without exchanging a word, with no commands or pet-talk whatsoever. There was no time nor need for those kind of things anyway.

In a world of their own, Olli would have told Aleksi how well he had done. He would have kissed him deeply to taste himself on Aleksi's tongue; groaned his pleasure into Aleksi's mouth and neck and ear and everywhere; took his time touching Aleksi in the way he knew Aleksi loved to be touched so that he'd get to see the Aleksi no one else in the world ever got to see.

The Aleksi that was vulnerable, behind all that confidence he wore.

Defenceless, with all his walls down.

Tender, soft, trembling in Olli's hands; lost, a little broken with how his eyes sometimes watered when Olli touched him.

Heavenly. Hallowed.

His.

The Aleksi Olli was now holding was a different one, driven by his lust and the addicting thrill of being caught, Olli assumed. Olli loved him just the same.

The short, sharp puffs of air into Olli's ear were the soundtrack of Aleksi spilling into Olli's fist. Patiently Olli waited for Aleksi to collect himself, hoping but not expecting one last kiss before they'd return to their families. At last Aleksi lifted his chin from Olli's shoulder and silently tucked himself back inside his pants before leaving a half-kiss in the corner of Olli's mouth without looking him up in the eyes. In the next moment he left the bathroom, with his hands and Olli's heart in his pockets.

When Olli returned to the lounge, minutes later so as to not raise suspicions, he found Aleksi mouth to mouth on the couch with his girlfriend. Olli wondered if she could taste what Aleksi had tasted just a moment ago.

"And where have you been?" Olli's girlfriend asked from the couch opposite Aleksi and his partner. Her tone was more curious than accusatory from having abandoned her.

"Just... over there."

It wasn't a lie. He could try and use that as an excuse to forgive himself one day.

She recounted something Olli's parents had talked about earlier. He couldn't take his eyes off Aleksi and his girlfriend, even though he would have rather looked everywhere else. It was a thunderstorm; terrifying and world-shattering at worst, yet the sight haunted him and he couldn't look away.

Olli's eyes still followed them when they excused themselves and headed for the way out, so he saw how Aleksi slid his hand down her back and in the back pocket of her jeans. As his last blow straight to Olli's chest, Aleksi glanced over his shoulder just before they walked through the door. The look on Aleksi's face almost made Olli run after them.

What was unreadable to anyone else in the room was an open book to Olli, the story of the two of them written all over it, complete with the triumph of having stolen five minutes from the universe again to just be together and the tragedy of driving back to the hotel holding someone else's hand.

"Love?"

Aleksi blinked at him a few times before turning away again, his hand still in her back pocket.

"Love?"

"Huh?" The familiar voice by his ear brought Olli back to his current reality.

"Should we just leave too? You seem tired."

Olli glanced at his watch. He forgot the time it read the second he spotted the single strand of blond hair that had gotten caught in the bracelet.

He hummed in agreement and the stood up.

He didn't bother removing the hair.

~*~

They caught up with Aleksi and his partner by the hotel elevators. Aleksi's hands were in his pockets again (Olli hated himself for having noticed it).

"The slowest things in the worlds," Aleksi's girlfriend rolled her eyes, and the two women went on to giggle about nothing in particular. Olli's eyes were firmly on Aleksi, Aleksi's on the elevator light.

In the small space of the elevator, Aleksi could no longer avoid Olli's gaze. The look in his eyes was fatigued, regretful for whatever reason (Olli could easily name a dozen), blue but not just in the colour of his irises. It was then Olli had to look away himself, afraid that the weight on his chest might prevent the elevator from lifting the four of them to the 20th floor.

They had rooms next to each other; that was the least they both deserved for their sins. While Olli waited for her girlfriend to find the key card in her handbag, he watched as Aleksi guided his partner inside their room with a gentle hand at the small of her back, like the gentleman he was. That time Olli genuinely believed Aleksi didn't do it torment him; he was just naturally like that.

(Olli wouldn't torment himself more than that, however; he didn't want to know if Aleksi also covered her chest with kisses after sex, or if they ever had entire conversations with their eyes in the morning after. No matter how delusional it was, Olli wanted to comfort himself with the thought that those were something Aleksi only did when they were together.)

It seemed she had been more tired and Olli after all, since not ten minutes after Olli had fingered her until her orgasm had made her whine out loud – loud enough for the next room to hear, Olli hoped – she was already breathing steadily beside him. For Olli, sleep was still a distant desire, as were most of his desires lately.

Or just one of them, to be more truthful. He had exactly one desire, and he was sleeping in the next room.

He checked the time on his iPhone and turned off the vibration. Not that he expected anything, of course.

After two three o'clock, when Olli could finally hear Joonas' and Joel's voices move past their room and disappear down the hall, the screen of his iPhone lighted up.

'Are you awake?' the message read.

Olli responded with a single word.

'Is she still awake too?'

Another single-word answer.

'Meet me outside'

Aleksi was already waiting for him two floors above, in a secluded corner behind a large indoor plant. He was wearing grey pyjama pants and a leather jacket, his bare chest peeking from under it, as if he had been in a haste to leave with no time to look for a shirt.

Aleksi's skin was still warm from the heat it had collected under the duvet, or so Olli pictured in his mind. He left it at that, though; he wasn't in the mood to bully himself by picturing what else he might have done under the duvet.

The overgrown monstera plant offered only seeming privacy for their affair as they ground their bulges against each other until they reached their orgasms, almost knocking the plant over with their struggle to stay on their feet against the wall. Then, as suddenly as they had messed their pants, with the quietness of the hotel corridor around them, a sense of calmness surrounded them for the first time that day. Olli knew it wouldn't last for long, so he treasured the moment the best he could, resting his cheek on Aleksi's chest. Aleksi wrapped his arms around him, and Olli felt as he always did when Aleksi did so: calm and secure.

In those fleeting moments, Olli believed there was a way out for them from the mess they had created.

[theflyingfeeling]

Second Day of Gift-Giving: Two Dialogue Partners

Prompt: "Oh, you’re cold! Do you want my hoodie?"

This part is a continuation of the first part, which you can read here!

~

There was snow in Oulu. That was the first thing Aleksi noticed when he opened his eyes after landing. He was sure the snowline actually went somewhere far souther, but he had decided to rest is eyes a little shortly after take-off, since even Rilla was wise enough to do so, curled up in his carrier by Aleksi’s feet. Aleksi supposed she, too, was exhausted from the early wake-up call after the restless night they had had; however, Aleksi doubted the reason for Rilla’s uneasiness was less due to being just too damn excited about seeing Aleksi’s bandmate and perhaps more due to ‘pillow moving too much’ (the ‘pillow’ in question being Aleksi).

It was also a lot colder in Oulu than it had been in Helsinki when they had left, which shouldn’t have been a surprise. Still, Aleksi found his teeth clattering as he sat down on the passenger seat of Olli’s sedan, wondering how on earth he had imagined he would be warm enough in just his leather jacket and a longsleeve.

“Yeah, sorry, the air conditioning is stuck on freezing. I’m gonna have it fixed later this week,” Olli explained, and Aleksi was tempted to ask if he meant the air conditioning of his car or of the entire north of Finland.

The drive from the airport to Olli’s place wasn’t hopelessly long, but long enough for Aleksi to still be quivering moments after they had already entered Olli’s pleasantly warm apartment. Although Aleksi tried his best to hold back the shivers, he saw Olli looking at him with a slight frown.

“You’re still cold? Do you need to borrow a hoodie?”

Without waiting for an answer, Olli disappeared into his bedroom and seconds later came back with a grey bundle in his hands, passing it to Aleksi.

“Here, I wore it briefly after a shower this morning, so it’s practically unused. I hope that’s alright, all my other ones are in the laundry.”

Aleksi didn’t have the heart to tell Olli he had, in fact, packed some hoodies of his own, nor was he strong enough to fight against the prospect of getting to wear one of Olli’s incredibly soft hoodies again. The last time he had done so had been on their last tour, half by accident when Aleksi had grabbed the nearest piece of clothing to put on himself when he had gotten the chills mid-nap in the RV, half by some self-tormenting curiosity to find out if having something of Olli’s so close to him would have the same effect on him as having Olli near him. (It did, as it turned out, very much indeed, because in his light sleep, Aleksi had seen all sorts of surreal dreams with Olli starring in the main role, and when he had woken up, his mind had been dizzier than ever with everything he felt for his friend.)

The hoodie he was now pulling on himself smelled of fabric softener and, ever so slightly, of Olli’s cologne, which he must have put on before changing into the black sweater he was now wearing. Aleksi hugged himself and quietly thanked Olli as he leaned back on the living room sofa, smiling at Rilla excitedly running after a ball Olli had apparently bought for her just for the occasion. He huddled up further into the sofa while listening to Olli talk about a heated topic in the band group chat, and Aleksi wished he could’ve been paying more attention, but he was too distracted by the faint smell of Olli surrounding him to think about much else. Instead, he let his eyes close as Olli kept chattering away in his calming voice, both to him as well as to Rilla, and with all the sleep debt he was running on, it was too easy for Aleksi to fall asleep on the sofa; finally warm, finally where Olli was.

He hadn’t intended for the nap to last so long, however; when he next opened his eyes, the bits of sky he saw from Olli’s windows were pitch black, although it really was no shock considering how early the sun set around this time of the year. Blinking his eyes a few times, he noticed Olli had lit up candles on the coffee table and turned on the fairy lights above the TV. The man himself was sitting on the floor with his back resting against the sofa Aleksi was resting on, Rilla curled up on his lap. His hair tickled Aleksi’s forehead when he turned to look at him.

“Good nap?”

“Mmmmhhh. Yeah,” Aleksi answered and rubbed his eyes. “Sorry for falling asleep though.”

“It’s okay. You were tired.”

“Mmmmhhh,” Aleksi hummed again, too comfortable under the blanket that had somehow ended up on him to make an effort to sit up just yet. He closed his eyes again for just a few more seconds and listened to Olli move slowly, supposedly as to not bother Rilla too much.

Opening his eyes again, Aleksi found himself staring straight into Olli’s dark ones that glowed in the soft candlelight, studying him, holding his gaze as if he was trying to ask him something.

Aleksi wished he would have. He wished Olli would’ve asked him why he was so sleep-deprived, or why he had squeezed him so hard at the airport, or why he had smiled so blissfully while fondling the strings of the hoodie Olli had given him. He may not have been able to give an answer, albeit it being short and simple, but it would’ve been nice to be given the chance at least.

Now, with Olli’s eyes travelling on his face, Aleksi felt like he had no chance at all to do anything but let him, even though it was driving him crazy, having Olli’s face so close to his all of a sudden. He felt defenceless under Olli’s gaze that seemed indecisive about whether it should stay on Aleksi’s eyes or his mouth, which didn’t help Aleksi’s case in the slightest. His breath became shallow as he remembered the last time Olli had looked him like that, in the dim lighting of an American hotel room, and Aleksi would’ve given nearly anything for Olli to be the first to lean in this time as well, because Aleksi himself for sure didn’t have half the courage Olli seemed to have.

For a second (or two or three), it felt as if Olli was leaning in, at least close enough for Aleksi to feel him exhale before he straightened his back and glanced at the dog on his lap.

“Would you guys be down for some dinner soon? I’m getting kinda hungry,” he spoke, directing his words more towards Rilla, whose ears twitched at the mention of dinner.

Aleksi tried to find Olli’s gaze again and failed, because suddenly there must have been something extremely fascinating on Rilla’s fur instead, judging by how intently Olli was observing it.

“Sure,” Aleksi sighed. When Olli stood up, mumbling something about a frozen pizza before striding off to the kitchen with Rilla on his heels, Aleksi bit his lip at another lost opportunity to make up for all the time he had wasted pining after Olli and barely doing a damn thing about it. 

He could only hope the universe would be kind enough to grant him some more lucky chances like this; one of these days, he might actually lose it and make good use of them, at least once he had first untangled the massive knots of fear, worry and embarrassment.