#on all levels except physical I am face down in the gutter crying about this

[dice-n-antlers]

1am and all I can think of is a good-aligned Dark Urge in the temple of Bhaal and this line from Critical Role:

[go-gently-please]

milk and honey

~ pairing: cat!Jimin x OC x cat!Yoongi (later)

~ genre: shapeshifter/hybrid!au, smut, fluff so much fluff

~ summary: when Sylvie takes in a stray cat in the middle of a rainstorm, she had no intention of getting a horny shapeshifting roommate along with it. all it takes is close quarters, sexual tension, and a little feline competition to reveal his true animalistic instincts.

~ warnings for this chapter: profanity, mentions of animal abuse and neglect, horrible attempts at humor,

part 1 ~ part 2 (coming soon)

The rain pounded down hard on the cobblestones. It ran in surging rivers down the streets, along the deserted sidewalks, clogging the gutters with twigs and dead leaves and dirty runoff.

I pitied any unfortunate soul caught without an umbrella. Those poor fuckers were soaked through by now.

Even with my wool coat, water-resistant jacket, and three layers of socks, I was chilled to the bone. My blood felt like slush in my veins; my toes were so frozen it felt like they were about to snap off.

I had my collar turned up against the wind as I walked (more like paced, really), boots splashing with every step, when I heard it: a faint, sad whine. It was so quiet I almost missed it. Looking up, I searched for the source of the sound.

Nothing. Nothing but dark skies and swollen, low-hanging clouds, threatening to release even more of their fury. I was the only pedestrian out on the streets. Correction: I was the only person crazy enough to be out in this weather. But I was out of coffee.

Yes, I'm that piece of shit. The kind of person that walks to the convenience store downtown in the rain to buy more caffeinated garbage to pump into my failing corpse.

Seeing no source of noise, I bent my head low, about to start trekking through the wet cold, when I heard it again.

There was a speck of orange among the green, vivid against the dark background of sky. I took a step forward to inspect the clump of bushes lining the pavement.

Huddled in a tight crouch, completely soaked, was a cat.

It was an orange and white tabby. Even though its fur was heavily matted with dirt and blood, I could tell that it was the prettiest kitty I’d ever seen.

It was curled up so tight, trying to make itself as small as possible, but it still couldn’t find shelter under the bush, the rain continued to pelt down on its mud-caked coat. It’s little body was shivering violently.

I gravitated towards it like a college student to free food, abandoning the sidewalk completely and bending down to the animal’s level.

The cat looked up at me with big brown eyes, wide and pleading, as it let out a soft mewl.

“Aww, poor baby.” I held out my hand, and the cat immediately moved to rub it’s head against my palm. My cold, dead heart swelled in my chest.

Immediately, my face broke out in a huge smile as I scratched it’s ears. The cat shuffled closer, nuzzling against my legs to soak up as much warmth as possible.

I could see that it had several deep scratches on its face and around its neck, patches of dried blood clinging to the fur. I could feel the prominence of it’s bones sticking out when I ran my hand along it’s back. It was skinny enough to have it’s ribs visible.

That was it. I didn’t need any more convincing.

I would die for his cat. I would protect this cat until the day I stopped breathing. Yes, I may be a broke, depressed, anxiety-ridden piece of shit, but damnit I was going to help this cat if it was the last thing I did.

Shrugging off my two outer layers, I scooped the cat into my arms and wrapped it up, first in the wool coat for warmth, then in the jacket to keep the rain at bay.

I had to use both arms to carry it, so I couldn’t hold my umbrella, and it only took a few minutes for me to be completely drenched. But feeling that cat curl up in my arms, purring and pawing contentedly at my chest, made it all worth it.

Hugging the small animal closer, I tried to shield it from the wind and chill as best I could. The only thing that mattered to me right now was protecting this cat. Even if that meant sloshing through a rainstorm in nothing but a thin sweater, teeth chattering and fingers numb from the cold.

The first thing I did when I reached my small apartment was turn on the radiator. And the heating blanket. And the coffee machine, God bless. Then I started to run a warm bath.

The cat only tightened its grip on my shirt when I tried to lower it into the tub, but with some coaxing and a few head scratches, it let me set it down into the water.

Now I could see that the cat was a boy, since it had pretty big…umm…you know whats.

“Poor thing.” I cooed as I washed away the mud. “Left out in the rain like that, and so skinny too. You must be starving.”

There was no way he was feral, too friendly for that. No, this cat was domesticated. He used to have an owner.

“Where’d you come from, huh?” I said, working a handful of shampoo through his coat.

The cat’s eyes were closed in bliss, much more focused on the massaging motions of my hands.

I very carefully, very gently inspected the cuts and scrapes all over his body. Most of them were scabbed over, but some of them were fresh and raw. I rubbed some disinfectant cream on them after I’d dried him off.

Steam unfurled from the doorway in warm, fragrant clouds when I emerged from the bathroom, the cat still in my arms but this time bundled up in a towel.

The space was a bit warmer now, but the storm still raging outside plus the crappy heating system of the old apartment building left the room feeling chilly.

The cat was glued to my side as I made myself a cup of coffee. It paced back and forth in front of my feet, tail swishing in the air, as it rubbed itself against my legs.

He devoured the tuna I gave him like he was dying of starvation.

When I made my way over to the couch, cradling the cup in my frozen hands, the cat followed. I wrapped myself in a fuzzy blanket and hugged my legs close to my chest to conserve heat. Sipping contently from my mug, I let the coffee slide down my throat in trails of liquid warmth.

“Ah, fuuuuuck.” I moaned in pure delight, leaning my head back as delicious heat spread throughout my body.

The cat jumped up on the couch and parked himself next to me. He was looking at me with what could only be described as puppy dog eyes. It was like staring at two huge glossy marbles.

“What?” I said, confused as to what he was silently begging for.

“This is mine.” I said, nodding towards the cup in my hands.

The cat inched closer and pawed at me. He rubbed his head against my legs and curled his tail around the bend of my knees.

I opened my legs to free up some space, and the cat excitedly crawled into my lap. He curled up and snuggled into me, sending vibrations through my body from his loud purring.

Now that he was clean, I could feel how soft his fur was. He really was a beautiful cat, graceful and poised, and so affectionate, too.

I combed my fingers through his fur, scratching his ears and under his chin, as his eyes slowly drifted closed and his purring filled the room.

I could get used to this.

~~~

By the time I took him to the vet the next day, I’d already decided to keep him, logic be fucked. Now, keep in mind, my brain functions not unlike a boxing ring, rational me and impulsive me are constantly having a fucking smackdown. I’ll let you guess which one wins most of the time.

He was overall healthy, no infections or diseases.

My suspicions about him having a previous owner were confirmed when I found out that he already had all his shots and vaccinations.

Except he wasn’t fixed, and when the vet brought it up, the cat whipped around to stare at him as if he understood what he was staying. The animal started to fidget on the examination table, swishing his tail back and forth.

I said that I’d hold off on getting him fixed, to which the cat seemed to relax at.

The vet stroked his smooth back as he smiled down at the feline.

“Have you decided on a name yet?” He asked me.

The cat looked up at me with those big coffee-colored eyes. I smiled as I patted his head. A real smile. The first one in a long time.

“Jimin. His name is Jimin.”

~~~

A few days passed, and I was very quickly getting used to my new pet.

Jimin followed me around like a Pokémon. If he had his way, he would never leave my side, but I drew the line at bathroom breaks since he had a weird habit of staring at me, which made me uncomfortable. He was a bit of a creep, but then again so am I. He would wait just outside the door for me, sometimes scratching at the wood if he got impatient.

He walked everywhere I walked, was always in my lap if I was sitting, and even slept in my bed every night, snuggled up against my side as his purrs soothed me to sleep. If a closed door was separating us, he’d cry until I opened it.

He was easily the sweetest creature I’d ever encountered. He was extremely affectionate and always desperate for physical touch. He showered me with kitten licks, playful bites, and soft nuzzles.

However, that didn’t mean that he wasn’t a strange cat.

Jimin was extremely intelligent, he did things that most cats couldn’t. He knew how to get into the cupboards, he knew how to get my clothes out of the dresser so he could smell and rub his scent all over them, he even knew how to move the furniture in order to make noise to get my attention.

Some of his mannerisms kind of weirded me out. I had a habit of talking to myself, which shouldn’t surprise you because I am an obvious nutball, and sometimes he would look or gesture at me like he could understand what I was saying.

He was strangely communicative. He could tell me what he wanted with just one look.

About a week after I got him, a friend came over to my apartment. The first thing she saw when she walked through the front door was me sitting on the couch with Jimin in my lap.

“Aren’t you the prettiest kitty in the whole world?” I cooed as I ran my fingers through his fur.

“Uh, aren’t you allergic to cats?” My friend asked.

I petted him slower.

“Maybe.” I said. She just chuckled and joined me in the living room.

“Now, Sylvia, you know what your mother would say about your allergies.” She playfully scolded me, and I rolled my eyes.  

“Eh, I’ll get some nasal spray. And don’t call me Sylvia. I may be named after my grandmother, but I never want to be associated with that bitter old woman again.”

She just chuckled. She knew how much I hated my grandmother on my father’s side. Unfortunately, I was her namesake, that’s why I insisted that everyone call me by my nickname in a small act of rebellion.

“Alright, Silvie, I got something for you.” She said, reaching into her bag.

I raised an eyebrow, pretending to be uninterested while simultaneously hiding my excitement.

“Reveal it. I will decide if it is a worthy offering.” I bellowed with an overly exaggerated deep voice.

She pulled out a simple black collar, and I gasped in delight. She just grinned at how fast my facade crumbled.

“A collar! Thank you so much, I’ve been meaning to get him one!” I took the accessory from her hand. The material was stretchy and flexible to fit all sizes, and the center of the band was decorated with a dangling silver ring.

I turned towards the animal in my lap.

“Come here, Jimin.”

He presented his head to me, and I slipped the collar onto his neck.

“Look how handsome you are.” I said sweetly.

My friend let out a soft laugh. She reached out to stroke his ears.

“Your mommy must really love you, huh?” She said to him.

Jimin’s eyes crinkled into two adorable crescents, the closest thing to a smile he could muster.

“You’re not gonna turn into one of those people who carry their pets around everywhere, are you?” She asked.

“He’s a cat, not a purse puppy.”

“I know, but people can get pretty obsessed with their fur babies.” She brought her face closer to Jimin’s and booped his little pink nose.

“Are you going to take up all of mommy’s attention now? Huh?” She said in a voice you would use to talk to a small child.

“Damn, this cat is prettier than me.” She said as she studied his angular eyes and long white whiskers.

“Tell me about it. If he was a person he’d probably be a fucking model.” I said.

“Are you sure you’re ready for this? Having a pet is a big responsibility.” She teased me.

“Oh please. He’s a cat. It’s not like I’m getting a new roommate or anything.”

~~~

When you found Jimin on that cold, wet day, he could’ve sworn you were an angel on earth. Who else would be kind enough to stop in the middle of a storm, shed their outer layers, and walk several blocks in a violent downpour just to take in a mangy stray cat?

You were a blessing from heaven in Jimin’s eyes. You, a stranger, had sheltered him, fed him, bathed him, enveloped him in warmth and security, without a second thought.

He’d been living on the streets for a while, after his owner abandoned him, and was beginning to think that he’d never find a home again, never have someone to love and care for him the way he desperately needed.

But then you emerged from the darkness of the storm (literally), and accepted him into your home with open arms.

Jimin remembered that day vividly. He remembered the way you walked with your head bent low, your hood shielding your face from the rain with only your long black hair visible, as your boots splashed through the puddles gathered on the pavement. He remembered calling out to you like he’d done to so many others that had walked by, but you were the only one out of all of them to stop and look up.

The next thing he noticed was your eyes. He thought they were beautiful, not because they were big or bright, but because they were a deep, intriguing black. He couldn’t tell where your iris stopped and your pupil began, they were just two deep pools of inky darkness. The striking color of your eyes made it that much easier to see the kindness that rested in your soul. They say the eyes are windows, after all.

Your body was so warm as you carried him to your apartment, your pleasant scent soothing him like a lullaby.

You'd been his ever since. It didn't matter that technically he was the pet and you were the owner, in his eyes you were his. He'd covered you in his scent to prove it.

Speaking of which, there was a lot of you that needed covering. You were tall and unusually broad-shouldered, athletically built, and awkwardly proportioned. Your legs were long and your feet were big, your body lacking curves or overly distinctive features.

But every time Jimin saw you, his heart did flips and his stomach erupted with butterflies. No one had ever shown him such kindness before, and it made you that much more attractive in his mind.

As much as Jimin wanted to show you his human form, he decided to wait; he didn't want to risk scaring you away.

All he wanted to do was touch you with hands rather than paws. He wanted to wrap you in his arms and have your body curl into his, like you'd done so many times to his cat form. He wanted you to run your fingers through his hair instead of his fur.

He’d wait, though. He couldn't take the risk of losing you.

It didn’t take long for that plan to be ruined.

One day, he'd gotten into the fridge and spilled the milk, making a huge mess of the kitchen and himself.

“No! Bad boy!” You shouted when you discovered him sitting in the middle of the large white puddle, licking his paws. He bent his head guiltily as droplets of milk rolled off his whiskers.

With a groan of frustration, you picked him up and carried him to the bathroom.

Great. Now I have to give him a bath, you thought. Jimin hated baths. You sighed irritably as you waited for the tub to fill up.

Jimin was avoiding your eyes, something he only did when he was in trouble. He was starting to panic.

What's she going to do? Is she going to punish me? Is she going to throw me out? Oh god, please no. I'll take any punishment in the world if it means she won't send me away.

Once the tub was full, you plopped him inside. You were completely silent as you rinsed his coat.

Jimin's mind was racing. He desperately wished he had the voice to apologize. He would get on his knees and beg if he had to.

He’d just started to settle in; you’d just started to get used to him! He couldn’t leave now!

When you'd finished washing him, you lifted him out of the bathtub and set him down on the tile.

You turned to grab a towel, only to find that the rack was empty.  

“Stay here.” You ordered, pointing a stern finger at him.

He moved his head in a nodding motion, which you were used to be no less weirded out by.

If only he could talk to you. Then he could apologize and promise to be good. He'd promise to do anything as long as you'd let him stay.

His body started to tingle.

Jimin's heart leapt into his throat.

No, no, no, please no. Not here! Not now!

His limbs lengthened, paws morphing into small hands and feet. His fur retracted, leaving behind smooth, honeyed skin. Fangs turned into flat, dull teeth, the sandpaper of his tongue softening.

He heard your footsteps approaching.

He had control over his transformations most of the time, but sometimes he involuntarily changed according to instincts or strong emotions. His panic must have spurred it on.

His nose grew and curved in a graceful dip. His lips swelled up like two pink, pillowy flower petals. A mop of golden blond hair, still wet, appeared on his head.

Jimin's pulse hammered as his breath quickened in his chest.

He could hear you coming. You were going to see him.

~~~

I froze when I re-entered the bathroom, fresh towels in my arms now falling to the floor.  

In the place of my cat was a full grown man, naked and soaking wet, cowering on the floor against the tub. His wet hair hung down in front of his terrified eyes as he clutched at his lower region to cover himself.

His body was lithe and slightly roped with muscle. Curving biceps, Herculean thighs, even a faint outline of abs. The features of his face, soft and feminine compared to the rest of him, were twisted with fear.

“Who...what the royal fuck are you doing here?! Who are you?!” I cried as I took a cautionary step back.

“P-Please…” He blurted out, sounding like this was the first time he’d used his voice in months.

“Don't be afraid! It's me, Jimin!”

My eyebrows knitted together.

“What?”

The man gulped as water droplets fell from the tips of his hair.

“It's me, the cat. I'm Jimin.” He said slowly.

I stared at him.

The cat? This man in front of me is the cat?

I remembered all those times he'd respond to me as if he understood what I was saying, how his intelligence often left me speechless, how his alarming self-awareness always freaked me out.

How could that be true? That's obviously impossible.

But what other explanation was there? I'd left for a few seconds to get a towell, and when I returned, a man was sitting in the exact same position the cat had been in.

I looked at him closer.

His big brown eyes were strangely familiar. Then I saw that he was wearing the collar. My eyes locked on it and didn't waver for a solid minute. That was the exact collar the cat had been wearing.

Returning my eyes to his face, I saw that he was visibly shaking.

I finally moved from my frozen position to grab a towel and toss it at him.

The man frantically used it to cover his lower half. He looked up at me from his spot on the floor with big puppy dog eyes.

It was then that all my doubts about it being true were wiped away. I had already seen that look a hundred times. This...man in front of me was undoubtedly, undeniably...my Jimin.

“Please, please let me stay. I'll be good, I promise. I won't make a mess ever again, I swear! Just...please don't throw me out.”

The desperation in his voice made my heart swell a bit, he sounded so scared, so helpless.

I sighed, rubbing my temples.

“I’m not going to throw you out.” I said.

Jimin’s eyes widened even more, something I didn’t think was possible, this time brimming with hope. Maybe it was the light, but they appeared to be shining with pooling moisture.

“Really?” He said, his voice trembling.

“No, no, do I really look like a cruel heartless bitch to you? Don’t answer that.”

He visibly relaxed. The rigidness of his shoulders dissolved, and his tight grip on the towel loosened slightly.

“W-What…” He gulped. “What are you going to do?”

After a pause, I let out a breath.

“I don’t know. This is all very weird.” I said, sounding exhausted. “What are you, exactly?”

Jimin looked at the floor.

“I don't know, really. I've always been like this.” He said.

I stared at him, thinking. Could this really be happening right now?

Jimin fidgeted under my gaze, holding the towel closer to his body. Everything above his waist was perfectly visible, and he felt his cheeks flush pink with embarrassment.

I had to admit, he had a great body.

Noticing his discomfort, I set out to find some clothes.

“Stay here.” I said, disappearing through the doorway. I returned a few minutes later with one of my sweatshirts and a pair of track pants.

Plopping the bundle in his lap, I left him alone to change, closing the bathroom door behind me.

When he came out, he had his head bent low, shyly averting his eyes down to the ground. His hair was still wet, dripping on the carpet.

I grabbed another towel from the bathroom and walked up to him, reaching up to put it over his head and ruffle it to dry his hair. His hair now hung down over his eyes, all messy and spiky like a hedgehog.

Jimin stood there fiddling with his hands, flexing his fingers to test his newfound dexterity.

“Are you...going to put me in another home?” He asked timidly.

“I don't know, I don't know what to do about any of this.” I said, sounding exhausted, rubbing my eyes.

“Please…” Jimin began in a quiet voice. “Please don't. Please let me stay. I like it here, you're the best owner I've ever had.”

Listening to him refer to me as his owner only freaked me out more. I started to pace around the room, hands on my hips.

This can't be happening. There is a shapeshifting cat in my living room.

Jimin must've noticed my distress.

“I'll be so good, I won't cause any trouble. I'll stay out of your way, I promise.” He said frantically.

“Calm down, Jimin.” I said, holding up a hand to silence him.

This was the first time I’d said his name when he was human, not in my usual baby talk voice, the one I used to talk to animals. Jimin purred slightly, closing his eyes at the sound of his name falling from my lips.

I looked at his messy blond hair, his squishy pink cheeks, the fullness of his lips. I thought back to the time when I said he would be as pretty as a model if he was human. I was definitely right.

I had no idea what to do. Here I was, standing alone in my living room with a man I'd never seen before.

But I had seen him before. He was still Jimin, still the same cat I'd been living with for weeks. I knew from his eyes. Those big, warm brown eyes that always looked at me like I was the only thing in the universe.

When he was naked in the bathroom, I caught a glimpse of all the faded scars covering his body. There was no doubt in my mind that he had been a victim of abuse.

I couldn't throw him out. I couldn't stand the thought of him roaming the streets, all alone, his body gaunt from hunger. That was the reason I'd taken him in in the first place!

When I looked at Jimin again, my eyes were soft and genuine.

“Jimin, I promise you,” I took a few steps forward to stand before him.

“I will never abandon you. Not when you make a mess, not when you break something, not even when you're old and blind and sick. You'll always have a home here.”

He stared back at me with wide eyes. I saw his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed.

“Promise?” He said.

I smiled wide and bright.

“Promise.” I held out my pinky finger.

Jimin stared down at it for a moment, then wrapped his own pinky finger around mine, flashing a smile so big his eyes turned to two thin crescents.

I knew then that I would do anything just to see that smile again.

~~~

That night, when it was late and I was finally ready to go to sleep, he tried to get into bed with me.

After I had changed into my pajamas and had my usual midnight snack, I pulled back my covers and started to climb in, when Jimin entered the room and started to mess with the sheets on the opposite side of the bed.

“Uh, what are you doing?” I asked, eyeing him.

He looked up at me, expression clouded with confusion.

“Aren’t we going to bed?” He said.

“Well, yeah, but...why are you in here?”

I could see the twinge of hurt that flashed across his features.

“I always sleep in here…” He said in a small, meek voice.

I realized that he was right. He’d spent every single night since I got him curled up at my side, the sound of his purring lulling me to sleep.

But that was when he was just a cat! It was one thing to have a pet sleep next to me, but a full-grown man who I’d only just met a few hours ago?

“Would you mind...sleeping on the couch for tonight?” I said hesitantly, trying not to hurt his feelings.

Jimin hung his head and backed away from the bed. Moving slowly, reluctantly, towards the door, he let out a quiet “okay,” and disappeared into the hallway.

His broken little voice almost made me cave and call him back, but I let him go, settling into bed once I heard the couch cushions rustle from the living room.

It took me awhile to fall asleep. The events of the day weighed heavy on my mind. I could hear Jimin fussing, tossing and turning into the early hours of the morning.

I slipped into unconsciousness just as the sun was beginning to rise. The early morning light pierced through the gaps in the curtains, and I buried my head under the covers with a groan.

It was unclear how long I stayed like that, curled up in a ball with the blankets tightly wrapped around me.

I was trying to block out all my problems. It wasn’t working.

At some point, I felt something prodding me. I ignored it at first, but when it persisted I peeked out from under the covers.

The familiar tabby cat was standing on my bed, leaning over my fetal form. Big round eyes stared down at me, curious and innocent.

Was it all a dream? Did I imagine everything?

The cat looked the same as the last time I saw him, this time free of the milk that wet his fur and clung to his whiskers in white teardrops.

There was no indication that the creature in front of me was anything but animal.

Deciding that it was all a sleep-deprived hallucination, I let my head fall back on the pillow and slept with a clear head.

It didn't last, though. Something quickly woke me again: a presence, a dip in the mattress.

With my heart hammering in my chest, I slowly turned my head to examine the other side of the bed.

There was Jimin, human Jimin, with his eyes closed and his hands cradling his head. His sweet face looked even softer, if that was possible, as he slept. His blond hair was messy, looking as fluffy and silky as his cat fur, lips even poutier in his relaxed state.

Judging by the fact that his shoulders were bare, I guessed that he was shirtless, only wearing the black collar. I could see the skin of his waist and upper thigh. And then it dawned on me. He was naked.

At the shock of suddenly waking up next to a man I barely knew (one not wearing any fucking clothes, at that), I scrambled away from him as a yelp of surprise left my throat.

Jimin's eyes shot open. His body jolted at the loud noise, like a cat that had been startled awake. He jumped so suddenly that he fell off the bed, taking the covers along with him on the way down. I caught a glimpse of his bare backside, the image of his taut haunches flashing before my eyes.

He landed on the floor with a thud.

Jimin frantically grabbed at the sheets to cover himself, but I had already seen everything. It was interesting to know that his...um, prominent display of testosterone translated to his human form. I had seen his…“beef whistle,” his “flesh flute,” his “heat-seeking moisture missile,” perfectly clearly.

I was staring down at his lower half with wide eyes when he caught me, his face instantly turning red. He gripped the sheets and draped them over his torso.

“The fuck are you doing in here?!” I shouted.

Panic immediately filled his eyes.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable so I changed to a cat again. I layed down to rest my eyes, just for second! But I must’ve fallen asleep and changed back. I didn’t mean to! I’m sorry!”

He was so scared he looked like he was about to cry.

Aw, the poor thing really thinks I might throw him out.

Softening my expression, I shuffled out of bed.

“You say sorry to much.”

Jimin appeared to calm down, averting his eyes to the ground at my comment.

“Sorry.” He said quietly.

I chuckled.

Jimin’s eyes followed me as I crossed over to my dresser, fishing out some clothes for him to wear. Most of my pants wouldn’t fit him, my legs were too long and my hips too big, so I dug around to find an old pair of sweats from years ago that would be better suited for his small frame. He was quite a petite man, with a tiny little waist and completely flat stomach. I picked out one of my smaller t-shirts, and then handed him the stack of clothes.

I smiled at him, a little awkwardly, but he drank it up nonetheless, smiling so wide in return that his eyes crinkled. He was clinging to my every move, every reaction, probably trying to judge my state of mind.

I shut the bedroom door behind me to let him get dressed.

By the time he came out, I was already making breakfast, standing in the kitchen as the stove sizzled. The next time I looked up, Jimin was standing behind the invisible line that separated the kitchen from the living room, almost as if there was a glass wall between us. If he was a cat, he’d be sauntering back and forth at my feet right now, tail swishing in the air.

Jimin fiddled with his hands, head hanging low, and I could sense the nervousness radiating off of him in thick waves.

“Why don’t you sit down at the table, Jimin. Breakfast will be ready in a bit.” I said in the most gentle, non-threatening voice I could muster, all without a drop of coffee in my system. I was very proud of myself, to say the least.

I set down a large bowl of oatmeal with sliced bananas, blueberries, and generous globs of peanut butter down in front of him, along with a thick slice of toast.

“I know it’s a lot of food, you don’t have to eat it all. Gotta put some meat on those-” I trailed off when I saw Jimin practically shoveling spoonfuls of food into his mouth. He was scarfing it down like a dying man.

“Can I have a glass of milk?” He said with his mouth full, cheeks puffed out.

“Uh, aren’t cats lactose intolerant?” I said.

“Aren’t you allergic to pet hair?”

My eyes widened, shocked at him. This was the first time he’d sounded like he wasn’t about the piss himself from fear.

Jimin seemed to realize what he’d just said, because his face flushed bright pink and he looked down at the wood of the table.

Amusement bubbled up in my chest, finally breaking the surface in the form of a full-blown belly laugh.

Jimin looked up at me, tilting his head slightly in confusion.

Wiping the corners of my eyes, I straightened up from where I’d been bent over clutching my stomach.

“Touché, touché.” I said, opening the fridge to get his milk.

“It’ll upset my stomach if I’m a cat, but it’s fine when I’m human.” Jimin explained.

“Alright, I believe you.” I set the tall glass down in front of him.

Jimin brought it to his lips, tilted his head back and gulp gulp gulped it down. He was very focused on eating his toast as I cleaned the kitchen, his elbows propped on the table, holding it at eye-level to scrutinize it as he chewed.

I shook my head to myself while stifling a chuckle.

“Alright, let's go.” I said once everything was clean and put away.

“W-Where are we going?” Jimin said, sounding worried.

I smiled at him as I fetched one of the sweatshirts from the coat rack.

“If you're going to be living here, the first thing you need is new clothes.” I said, holding it out to him.

“Put that on. It's cold.”

Jimin was glued to my side as we walked down the sidewalk, wet leaves still stuck to the concrete. He was walking fast to make sure he kept up with me.

It was still cold as shit. I'm a cold person, literally and figuratively, but today I was feeling particularly chilly.

To paint you a picture, I wear basically the same thing everyday: leggings from whatever name brand, sweatshirt, sneakers, beanie or baseball cap, usually sporting a white pair of earbuds.

After we’d been walking for a while, I noticed that Jimin was holding on to one of the dangling straps of my backpack, not unlike a child and those absurd baby leashes.

He really didn't want to take the chance of being separated from me.

I noticed that he was shivering. He must've been cold from the sudden lack of fur.

Taking off my beanie, I reached up to place it on his head, pulling it over his blond hair. I flashed him a smile, and his cheeks flushed pink. He did that a lot, apparently.

“You want something warm to drink? You look a little nervous.” I said, noticing the way his eyes darted back and forth and the way the tip of his nose was red from the cold.

Jimin nodded.

“Okay.” He said quietly.

We made it to the cafe a few blocks down and sat at a table by the window.

It probably wasn't a good idea to give him coffee, being part animal and all, so I decided on one of their speciality drinks that was mostly warm milk, and ordered a hot cup of caffeinated bliss for myself.

I plopped down in the chair opposite him and huddled around the warmth seeping off the mug.

This will fix everything wrong in my life, right?

I could feel Jimin staring at me as we both sipped our drinks.

“So...h-how are you doing today?” He asked.

Finally looking up from my cup, I saw Jimin’s anticipating face, waiting anxiously for my answer. It sounded like the words were new and foreign in his mouth, like he was testing them out for the first time. He was trying to start up a conversation.

“Fine.” I said, smiling at him over the brim of my cup.

“Really?” He stared at me harder, analyzed me, like he didn’t quite believe my answer.

I mean, he was right. I was never “fine,” but what else was I supposed to say? Oh, I’m thriving, thank you. Permanently mentally and emotionally damaged, but it’s chill, I’m chill.

“Yeah, why would you think otherwise?” I replied.

Jimin’s eyes flickered down under the table.

“Your leg is shaking.” He said.

He was right. It was one of my habits.

“Well, you see, my pal, my buddy, I am full of anxiety.” I said.

“So, you're not okay?” Jimin said, looking like he was trying very hard to read me.

I smiled.

“Jimin, calm down. I'm not going to get rid of you.” I reassured him.

He stared at me, then he moved to hold out his pinky finger.

“Promise?” He said.

I couldn't help the smile that crossed my face. I interlocked our two fingers and squeezed.

“Promise.”

~~~

It was safe to say that I'd spoiled him a bit. I bought him every piece of clothing he expressed even a slight interest in.

I perused around every store, Jimin following me around like a lost puppy, picking up hanger after hanger, holding it up against his body to see how it looked.

Jimin loved soft things, especially oversized sweaters and fuzzy socks.

We went to the grocery store after that where I let him pick out what he wanted to eat. This included: lucky charms, Capri sun, mango, frosted animal crackers, and dinosaur nuggets.

I smiled every time he added something to the cart.

When we got back to the apartment, I expected him to change into some of his new clothes, but he stayed in my oversized sweats. We’d spent most of the day shopping, so it was around dinner time now.

“Does take-out sound alright?” I asked.

Jimin was sitting rigidly on the couch, folded hands in his lap, and he nodded vigorously.

I fed him a lot of table food (sue me, every veterinarian ever), and since I ate a lot of Chinese take-out, Jimin was quite used to it.

I smiled at his enthusiasm and picked up the phone to order.

Not long after, we were both sitting at the table, mouths stuffed with noodles. Jimin was nursing another large glass of milk.

He always ate like he was starving, like the plate was about to snatched away from him any second now. He shoved so much food in his mouth that his cheeks were stuffed.

After Jimin had licked his plate clean, I cleaned up the table.

“What do you want to do now?” I asked gently, plopping down next to him on the couch.

“Umm…” He said, averting his eyes like he was thinking hard.

“Can we watch that movie with the walking house? We never finished it.” He said.

Walking house? I realized after a moment of befuddlement that he was talking about the Ghibli film Howl’s Moving Castle. We never finished? I didn’t recall ever starting it with him, but then I remembered that one time a few days ago when I had put it on in the background while I was painting. Jimin, still just a cat at the time, had been lounging on the couch, eyes glued to the screen. I remembered thinking it was adorable how he was watching with such intensity. That was back when I thought he couldn’t understand what was going on.

“Okay.” I said cheerfully, getting up to pop in the DVD.

I sat next to Jimin on the couch with a safe distance between us. I didn’t know why, but something about this whole situation still made me feel weird.

I could feel him watching me. He was sitting back with his head leaning against the wall, legs crossed, one arm slung across his stomach as his other hand was held up to his mouth. His eyes would flicker between me and the screen, blinking slowly like he was either deep in thought or drifting to sleep.

Whenever something funny happened in the movie, Jimin would giggle and use his tiny little hand to cover his mouth, his eyes squinting into two thin lines. He would bounce both his legs up and down when something exciting or suspenseful was happening.

I was so enraptured by watching the credits that I didn't notice that Jimin had fallen asleep.

His long lashes fluttered against his cheeks, eyes twitching behind his lids. I wondered what he was dreaming about, muscular arms hugged tightly around a pillow as his chest rose and fell steadily.

I smiled to myself, getting up to drape a blanket over his body. I reached down to run my hand through his soft yellow hair. I couldn’t help myself.

Jimin leaned into my hand as a loud purr rumbled in his throat. Still deep in sleep, he twisted his head and poked his tongue out to kitten lick at my palm.

My stomach dipped when a deep, pleasurable moan fell from his lips.    

I was about to brush it off as him just being sleepy, but then I saw him peel his eyes open.

“Mommy?” He mumbled groggily, looking up at me.

I froze.

Mommy?

I quickly racked my brain for any kind of reasonable explanation. Maybe his previous owner was a little kid? Maybe he overheard it from them? Maybe there was a mother in his previous home?

Then I remembered.

“Your mommy must really love you, huh?”

“You’re not gonna turn into one of those people who carry their pets around everywhere, are you?”

“Are you going to take up all of mommy’s attention now?”

My friend had referred to me as “mommy” when she came over to meet my new pet. He picked it up from her.

“Mmm, I’m tired…” He sounded drunk with sleep.

“I’ll turn off the light for you.” I said, quickly moving to reach for the lamp.

“No…” Jimin grabbed at my hand, preventing me from turning away.

“I wanna go to bed.” He slurred, barely able to keep his eyes open.

I finally realized what he was saying. He didn’t want to sleep on the couch, he wanted to sleep in my bed. That’s what he was used to, after all.

I hesitated, but by the vice-like grip he had on my wrist, I guessed that he was too far gone to try to reason with. Stretching my arms out, I helped him stand. Jimin threw one arm around my shoulders, leaning on me as I led him to the bedroom.

Once he was settled under the covers, I started to leave the room, but he stopped me.

“Where are you going?” Jimin called out, sitting up slightly in bed.

“You can have the bed for tonight, I’ll just crash on the couch.” I replied.

He gave me his signature puppy dog eyes.

“But I can’t sleep when I’m alone…” He whined.

I stared at him, contemplating. It was clear he wasn’t going to let up anytime soon, and how could I refuse him when he looked at me like that?

Giving in, I hurried over to the bed and climbed in, lying down with a reasonable distance between my body and Jimin’s. He scooted towards me an inch, but then stopped immediately when I tensed at the movement.

In less than a minute, Jimin’s content purring filled my ears, and I was asleep before I could think anything more.

a/n: thank you so much for reading!! :) if you want to make me the happiest person in the world, tell me what you think! shoot me an ask, leave a comment. i promise i’ll be ecstatic.

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