#on queerness and on amatonormativity and the overlapping experience of women who are a-spec and those who are lesbians and not desiring men

[mirrorofliterature]

I posted 1,429 times in 2022

That's 1,043 more posts than 2021!

472 posts created (33%)

957 posts reblogged (67%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@mirrorofliterature

@squidgilator

@faejilly

@junemermaid

@cheeseanonioncrisps

I tagged 1,413 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#hp - 424 posts

#rambles - 355 posts

#percy weasley - 177 posts

#writer things - 97 posts

#sirius black - 89 posts

#remus lupin - 77 posts

#oliver wood - 67 posts

#wolfstar - 65 posts

#shadowhunters - 54 posts

#perciver - 52 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#on queerness and on amatonormativity and the overlapping experience of women who are a-spec and those who are lesbians and not desiring men

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

oliver wood: no.1 defender of percy weasley

say if the wizarding world had wikipedia pages for well-known people like we do

percy’s page is always full of slander because he dared to leave the great weasley family.

in retaliation, oliver edits his own wikipedia page to include the following: Oliver Wood's husband, Percy Weasley, is the most intelligent and talented Head of Magical Transportation the Ministry of Magic has ever seen. He is also very handsome. This is an objective fact.

270 notes - Posted February 19, 2022

#4

there’s a thin line between sex positivity and shaming people for not liking sex, y’know?

one I support (sex positivity: a.k.a not shaming people for their sex lives or lack thereof as long as it is all consensual); one is like there is something slightly off in the air. it’s kind of just mirroring our sex-obsessed society.

I guess it’s a bit like body positivity. Or toxic positivity, really.

sometimes I see people say ‘if you haven’t had [x] sex before (or just sex), you can’t write good sex scenes’. and I know that they are not being intentionally malicious, that they’re probably directing this towards minors. but for me, it has an undercurrent of aphobia. because there’s the presumption that all people who haven’t had sex are simply too young, because there’s an aura of superiority.

(it’s the shaming of fictional characters for being virgins for me. 1) virginity is a social construct and 2) it has no impact on a person’s worth, ffs).

mate I haven’t killed anyone before but I’m pretty sure I can write a killer (pun intended) scene. I have written successfully from really insidious perspectives before. writing is replicating authentically experiences not your own.

I know this isn’t the most pressing issue for people, that it slips under the radar, but please.

check your biases. aphobia is harmful and wrong. ace people don’t deserve this.

275 notes - Posted January 31, 2022

#3

the way that oliver and percy respect each other’s needs would be unparalleled.

a.k.a oliver takes percy’s sensitivity to loud noises seriously (unlike his family), praises him on his accomplishments, and creates a quiet study environment... in turn percy doesn’t tease oliver for his strong quidditch passion and lets him info-dump and helps him find helpful study tactics.

idk I just think the basis of their relationship is mutual respect and I think that is neat

300 notes - Posted July 17, 2022

#2

amatonormativity is one of the most harmful forces in society, actually.

it’s incredibly structural, and invisible, and if you don’t live outside striving for the monogamous ideals, it can be incredibly normalised to a very toxic extent

amatonormativity:

- contributes to abuse (people staying in relationships because they are manipulated into thinking that some romantic relationship is better than none)

- high divorce rates

- unhappy marriages

- unhappy relationships

- inability to live alone

- devaluing of friendship

- is underpinned and underpins ableism (disabled people’s humanity is often judged on their capacity for sex and love, particularly romantic)

idk, maybe we should take this seriously? all a lot of freedom movements - particularly feminism - are striving for are giving people choice on what to do with their lives.

amatonormativity is the societal norm. it is real, it is not good for anyone. relationship anarchy is cool.

anyway.

1,042 notes - Posted July 29, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

my imagination does not extend to a world where sirius black is straight.

1,058 notes - Posted March 29, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[mirrorofliterature]

expanding on the reyna avila ramirez-arellano point: why she reads aro to me, a post

first of all, I think the way that rick riordan made this revelation was incredibly distasteful and hurtful to the legions of w|w pjo fans and people who saw reyna as w|w. I respect people headcanoning reyna as sapphic and think that theyna is an excellent ship with much potential. that said, textually, what reyna says in the book itself reads [to me] as a lack of romantic attraction, not necessarily sexual attraction. it frustrated me when rick one: confirmed that reyna was ace on twitter after a half-botched execution attempt with a dig at fans who like sapphic reyna and two: that it did not match with what he had written in the tyrant’s tomb.

let’s get into the textual analysis! this got long, so I added a read-more. again, this is my subjective take. all aphobes will be blocked.

‘Venus took one look at me and decided... I don’t know. I was broken.’

I would like to hone in on word sentence in particular: I was broken. This is a common a-spec experience. It is untrue. Not experiencing a particular type of attraction does not make you broken. Damn anyone who says otherwise.

‘I needed romantic healing. Whatever. I wasn’t back at camp a full day before the whispering started. Nobody would admit that they knew, but they knew. The looks I got: Oh, poor Reyna. The innocent suggestions about who I should date.’

There is a focus throughout Reyna’s conversations with Apollo regarding her feelings on being uncomfortable about being pressured into a romantic relationship. Lack of sexual attraction is, comparatively, not as heavily implied in the text (word of God aside: I’m just a humble ex-literature student performing ‘death of the author’).

‘The thing is,’ she continued, ‘I’m not broken.’

Good for her! I do like this part. The remainder of the scene where Reyna rejects Apollo, whilst funny, is kind of beside the point because all it demonstrates is that Reyna is not interested in Apollo in particular. Moving on:

‘But the whole time I’ve been a leader here,’ she forged on, ‘I was looking for a partner. Praetors often partner up. In power. But also romantically. I mean. I thought Jason. Then for a hot minute Percy Jackson. Gods help me, I even considered Octavian.’ She shuddered. ‘Everybody was always trying to ship me with somebody. Thalia. Jason. Gwen. Even Frank. Oh, you’d be perfect together! That’s who you need! But I was never really sure if I wanted that, or if I just felt like I was supposed to want it. People, well-meaning, would be like, Oh, you poor thing. You deserve somebody in your life. Date him. Date her. Date whoever. Find your soul mate.’

This is almost textbook amatonormativity: the societal pressure that Reyna describes here matches our society’s constant expectation that everyone will couple up and be with someone romantically (side-eyes the ‘love is love’ campaign which reduces queerness to one thing, ignoring some a-spec people and trans straight people). If it wasn’t for how Rick was shooting sapphic fans in the back, this would be textbook perfect aro representation. Look at what she emphasises, repeats: she doesn’t want a relationship, she doesn’t want romance. This suggests aromanticism, to me. Not asexuality, although the two can be intertwined. Personally, I don’t think we are really given enough information to conclude on whether Reyna is asexual or not (as she emphasises not needing/desiring a romantic partner), with nothing telling us, really, her thoughts on sex. We do have word of god, though! A blessed tweet. The absolute pinnacle of ace representation, really.

‘But you showed me. When you proposed dating...’ She took a deep breath, her body shaking with silent giggles. ‘Oh, gods. I saw how ridiculous I’d been. How ridiculous the whole situation was. That’s what healed my heart - being able to laugh at myself again, at my stupid eyes about destiny. That allowed me to break free - just like Frank broke free of his firewood. I don’t need another person to heal my heart. I don’t need a partner... at least, not until and unless I’m ready on my own terms. I don’t need to be force-shipped with anyone or to wear anybody’s label. For the first time in a long time, I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. So thank you.’

Reyna: I don’t need a partner. Me: sounds aro to me! I will concede that this line in particular:

at least, not until and unless I’m ready on my own terms.

does leave the door open for Reyna later figuring out her sapphic identity, away from the pressures of amatonormativity. Amatonormativity is a force that kind of falls alongside heteronormativity but also expands beyond it: it’s not about pressuring people to comply to a m/f romantic relationship, but to a monogamous romantic relationship that fits societal expectations (whilst it is often mentioned in conversations regarding a-spec ppl, I suspect it is also a key issue for polyamorous ppl). Maybe she’s arospec, or demi. But again, that’s pure speculation. Romantic orientation is fluid. In the text, in the moment, Reyna reads as aro to me. This could change. But (at least the mere idea) that she lacks romantic attraction should be respected, should be acknowledged. Just as much as sapphic Reyna headcanons should be (after all, I’m just inferring from the text).

Anyway, I interpret Reyna as aromantic and there is nothing you can do to stop me (except by throwing the occasional theyna fic in my face). Rick did not go around this the right way, by spitting in the face of sapphic fans. But the accidental rep? Well, at the least the sentences are good.