#once you've found your friends who appreciate the edgy humor go wild who cares just keep it private damn

[alistairian]

Stating the obvious here but I think internet-era people should learn that you probably shouldn't expect that you can talk to everybody the same way you talk with friends and family.

Like the people I'm close with, for the most part, know my intentions and know my politics. I can be blunt and clunky with my words and I'm pretty confident that they know what I'm trying to communicate. I can poke fun my partner's gender or at my dad's bad english because those people know I love and support them.

If I were to make those same comments to a colleague or coworker, however, I think they would be completely justified in thinking I'm an asshole.

When someone keeps saying faggot in a derogatory way and HE doesn't know I'M gay and I don't know HE'S gay, that makes for an incredibly uncomfortable exchange where we both end up pissing each other off. If someone keeps saying retarded and I don't know that they were raised alongside a disabled sibling then I'm just going to think they're an ableist piece of shit, and I'm not going to ask for a detailed background before doing so.

Like "political correctness" isn't about someone busting down your front door and cuffing you for saying the wrong words in your own home. If anything it's about ensuring everyone's on the same page and no ones being needlessly hurt or being unintentionally advocated against, expecially in the case of public discourse in front of an audience. Someone ranting online about the dynamics at play in their friend's immigrant family can be easily read as racist, and those comments can even encourage racism, even if they're both the same race or both come from immigrant families. If that's not what you're trying to communicate you need to be able to... communicate that. Especially if you're posting online where anybody from any walk of life can interpret your words in any number of ways and won't be asking for clarification.

There's basically always been people moaning about PC culture and how they can't say anything nowadays and how people are so quick to "cancel" anyone for anything now. Like no shit if the first thing I hear someone say is some tasteless transphobic joke my entire perception of that person is that they're a transphobe! I'm not going to give that person the benefit of the doubt or expect them to provide a lengthy nuanced take of their "actual" politics and feelings before I decide if they suck or not. Now if that same person was telling the joke to their close trans friends who knew they were an ally/also queer/a big fan of satire and irony then that's a totally different story. And if those friends are still offended then they're already in a position to have a discussion about it. You can't expect that level of understanding or patience from randos on the internet or aquaintences and work buddies.