#one snarco

[danpuff-ao3]

Random Fandom Recs, Vol 2: Banner Edition

No real theme, other than they're all Snarry 😅

If you haven't noticed, I've been on a bit of a Canva-craze, making all sortsa images to accompany my self recs!

For my own, I've sorta moved away from a proper banner shape...I've been using the "Instagram post" size for...you know...Instagram. And I don't feel like making 2 versions of stuff...anyway, not the point.

THE POINT IS, I was having so much fun I ventured into throwing images together for fics I love! And it seems a shame to not show them off, so what better way than another rec list??

by avioleta (@avioleta.) Harry/Severus. Rated: E. Words: 29,565. Time travel. Student/teacher.

After the Battle of Hogwarts, Harry uses a Time Turner in an attempt to rewrite history. However, something goes wrong, and he’s thrown back fourteen years into the past.

Read on AO3

by bleedcolor & Likelightinglass (@bleedcolor, @likelightinglass.) Harry/Severus. Rated: E. Words: 35,494. Awkward romance. Anonymous sex. Light dom/sub. Praise kink. Pining. Hurt/comfort. Idiots in love.

Years after the war, Harry Potter and Severus Snape meet and fall in lust, then love.

Too bad they don’t know who they’ve fallen for.

Read on AO3

by drawlight (@ripeteeth.) Harry/Severus. Rated: E. Words: 10,618. Regret. Hurt/comfort. Love confessions.

Harry visits one Severus Snape every year on the anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts. This year, he brings a bottle of scotch (single-malt, 100-proof, excellently-distilled).

Read on AO3

by inarticulateimbecile (@inarticulateimbecile.) Harry/Severus. Rated: M. Words: 19,582. Underage. Abusive relationship. Unhealthy relationship. Forced kiss. Alcoholism. Angst.

Prompt #4: Sirius isn’t quite right when Harry goes to live with him. No one believes Harry, since Sirius acts fine when other people are around. No one, except for Snape.

Read on AO3

by inarticulateimbecile. Harry/Severus. Rated: E. Words: 17,343. POV Severus Snape. Postwar. Hogwarts Eighth Year. Mild dub-con. Reluctantly falling in love. Straight to the Faves list.

"You're disgusting," Potter quietly bit out.

It was an insult, so why did that mouth-watering heat race downward like he'd been called brilliant and wonderful and all things nice?

"And what does that make of you, I wonder?"

A tale of hero worship and failing to pretend.

Read on AO3

by LilaDiurne (@liladiurne.) Harry/Severus. Rated: E. Words: 41,130. Past Harry/Ginny. Brief Harry/others. Bisexual Harry. Beaubatons. Magical theory. Professor Harry. Getting together. Happy ending.

Divorced, single, and free, Harry lives a completely unapologetic life in Paris. Between casual hook-ups and an easy, comfortable job, he likes to think he is as close to happiness as he'll ever be. And when he gets offered a teaching job at the prestigious Académie Beauxbâtons, he thinks he may have found exactly what was missing. But Harry is thoroughly unprepared for what he finds there - a familiar face that's been haunting his dreams for six years.

Read on AO3

by Lizzy0305 (@lizzy0305.) Harry/Severus. Rated: E. Words: 17,646. PWP. Love/hate. Romance. Rough sex. Angry with a happy ending.

Instead of sparks of joy, this Christmas brings nothing but hot flashes of anger for both Severus and Harry. Seven and a half years of pent-up hatred seems to come to a boil, but the explosion doesn’t quiet happen as they expected.

Read on AO3

by perverse_idyll (@perverse-idyll.) Harry/Severus. Rated: E. Work in Progress. Brief Harry/others. Brief Severus/others. Background case. Pining. Denial of feelings. Friends with benefits. Angst. Hurt/comfort. Eventual happy ending.

After surviving the Battle of Hogwarts, a long convalescence, and a short trial, Snape walks free and promptly vanishes from Wizarding society. Six years pass before he shows his face again. A lot can change in six years, and a romantically disillusioned and inebriated Harry hits Snape up for a friends-with-benefits arrangement. After all, they share an experience most people have never had: they both know what it's like to be dead. Their liaison works surprisingly well until Harry's reckless behaviour as an Auror leads to unethical practices and personal calamities, and things start to fall apart.

Read on AO3

by perverse_idyll. POV Lily Potter. Harry/Severus. Rated: E. Words: 47,887. Afterlife. Voyeurism. Redemption. Romance. Longtime favorite!!

One day, comfortably set up in the afterlife, Lily Evans Potter switches on the telly and gets hooked on the Harry Potter show.

Read on AO3

by perverse_idyll. Harry/Severus. Rated: E. Words: 81,619. Brief Harry/George. Secondary character death. Sex magic. Dub-con. Spinner's End. Confinement. Dysfunctional relationship. Angry Harry. Snape whump. Phenomenal work.

Harry's haunted by guilt. Snape's warded by roses. Each must free the other in order to free himself.

Read on AO3

by PinaNaponi (@vulnerasanenturmyprince.) Harry/Severus. Rated: M. Words: 10,708. Cat Harry. Fluff. Very adorable.

Potter, in a fit of being his usual hazardous self, goes about things in all the wrong ways. Of course it falls to Severus to fix the mess. It goes not at all as expected.

Read on AO3

by PinaNaponi. Harry/Severus. Rated: E. Words: 40,585. Postwar. UST. Brief Harry/Ginny. Legilimency.

Ever since the horcrux in his head is gone, Legilimency comes easy to Harry. It’s nearly laughable how easy it is, considering how much he used to struggle with it back in his fifth year. But he reckons half of that had been Snape’s fault anyway. Who on earth would enjoy the nasty git invading their mind?

But as life as Harry has known it changes, Harry’s opinion on the matter changes with it ― rather drastically so if he’s being perfectly honest.

Read on AO3

by silvereye5 (@silvereye5.) Harry/Severus. Rated: E. Words: 29,714. Ophidiophobia. Parseltongue. Postwar.

A strange curse leaves Harry as the only one able to understand Snape, but Harry has no desire to hear anything Snape has to say to him.

Read on AO3

by Writcraft (@writcraft.) Harry/Severus. Rated: E. Words: 33,146. Postwar. Insecurity. Praise kink. Hurt/comfort. Serious injury. Romance. Fluff and angst. A favorite!

After the war, the last thing Severus Snape needs is the memory of a fleeting wartime kiss and a very persistent Harry Potter thwarting his plans to live a peaceful and solitary life. It’s only when Harry’s life is endangered that Severus is finally forced to confront his feelings head on.

Read on AO3

by Writcraft. Draco/Harry/Severus. Rated: E. Words: 22,954. Triad. Open relationship. Polyamory negotiations. Memory loss. De-aged Severus. Older Harry & Draco. Age gap. Established Drarry. Endgame Snarco.

Severus Snape wakes in St Mungo’s, to discover that a potions accident has wiped the last forty years from his body and mind. Just twenty-five years old, Severus is reliant on Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy, now both in their forties, to help him fill in the missing decades. As Severus tries to navigate a much-changed world, Harry and Draco struggle with a secret of their own.

Read on AO3

by Writcraft. Draco/Harry. Harry/Severus. Rated: E. Words: 62,927. First love. Breakup. Heartbreak. Unrequited love. Falling in love. Getting back together. Love/hate. Mutual pining. Angst and humor.

Harry Potter returned to Hogwarts after the war to finish his schooling, with the blessing of Kingsley Shacklebolt and the promise of a job as an Auror. All he wanted was an easy year without any complications. He didn't count on Draco Malfoy barging into his life and knocking everything sideways. When Harry and Draco are forced apart, Harry must learn how to carry on living and loving. A surprise discovery that Severus Snape is alive and well presents Harry with an unexpected opportunity for a fresh start. When two loves collide Harry faces the toughest decision of his life. A story about love, growing up and how, when it comes to matters of the heart, nothing is ever simple.

Read on AO3

[luendland]

Special snarry stickers! When you purchase a Snarco sticker pack, I throw in one of these as a free gift. They come in regular, holographic, glitter holographic, and glow in the dark versions :)

Thanks so much for the love and support 💕

Shop link here

[peachpety]

first line game

Oh gosh! Thank you for tagging me @xanthippe74, @the-starryknight, and @onbeinganangel! ❤️ This was such an interesting task, both to read y’alls first lines and to celebrate your fics, brilliant all...and to then turn that lens on my own postings! At first, I’ll admit, I was at a loss. Do I include all my drabbles (of which I’ve many, apparently, sheesh). Microfic? Then I decided to follow @tackytigerfic’s lead and am only including the last 20 stories over 1k. 

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favorite authors. 

All are Drarry, with quite a few from my Autumn Drabbles, except one which is a Snarco PWP (a complete anomaly and gift for my dear friend!)...

1. It’s Called Fashion, Potter || Draco knows the moment Harry enters Theo’s flat.

2. yin & yang || Snape leans back, the chair stiff and fortifying against his shoulder blades.

3. Color Me Enamored || Harry sinks gingerly into the full bathtub, his sharp inhale echoing off the marble tiles.

4. Peace, Love and Sunflowers, Motherf**kers || Harry bites his cuticle and his eyes drift again to the door of the pub. 

5. Forces of Attraction || The first sigh is merited.

6. It’s the Great Pumpkin, Harry Potter || Harry bypasses the rickety gate, continuing down the hardened dirt path riddled with fallen leaves.

7. Luxury Tent || Draco’s gaze is fixed on Harry’s bum.

8. the luck of the draw || “You lost it?” Ron laments. 

9. You Kill Me || The first fall flurries drift across the windshield as the car rolls to a stop.

10. Life Imitates Art || The year of the first pumpkin carving contest at Hogwarts is a fact highly contested.

11. That Touch of Pink || Harry orders the next round from the Dracula behind the bar and props himself up next to Ron to wait, surveying the costumed crowd from under the sailor hat tilted jauntily on his head.

12. Certified Grade A || Harry slams the glass jar of maple syrup onto the granite counter.

13. Special Recipe || Draco grimaces into his Solo cup, the lukewarm keg beer sour on his tongue. 

14. Manor House No. 7 || Draco taps his pen against the register, and watches the bellman escort an elderly couple down the corridor to the main-floor suite.

15. If You Wish || The queue for the Ferris wheel is 20 people deep, at least.

16. Draco L. Malfoy vs. The Weasley Jumper || It’s a fair assessment that Draco L. Malfoy knows clothes.

17. Kiss My Fist || The queue outside the abandoned asylum wraps around the dead trees lining the weed-pocked sidewalk.

18. Some Assembly Required || Draco comes out of the bathroom suddenly, startling Harry out of a doze.

19. nailed || a texting fic! I’ve included the first text...

2:58 PM so, draco i’ve a question

20. Sun Stroke || Draco tucks his hands inside the sleeves of Theo’s hoodie.

* * *

Patterns, patterns, hmmm. Well, like @onbeinganangel, I’m mainly short and punchy and jumping right into action almost every time. Like @the-starryknight, I want to work on opening dialogue, and hope, as well, to improve like @xanthippe74!  I see two fics that start out almost exactly the same with our boys standing in a queue, le sigh. (I actually remember making note of this at the time, but I was in the midst of Autumn Drabbles and chugging along...and I thought who will even notice? Nobody...until now, lol!). 

My favorite is from #1 (It’s Called Fashion, Potter) because I’ve dual POV in this fic and Harry’s POV mirrors Draco’s in the beginning: Harry knows the moment Draco arrives in the hallway. It was a lovely way, I thought, to depict the mutual yearning between our boys.

I tag @davonysus, @primavera-cerezos, @dracothecupcake, @ladderofyears, @mystickitten42, @fangqueen, @phenomenalasterisk, @thusspoketrish, @mxmaneater, @cibeewastaken...partake if you’d like, no pressure if not, and apologies for crossposting! (and how blessed am I that I’ve so many authors that I adore?? I could easily list 10+ more and wow. I’m humbled, y’all!)

xoxo peach

[jbankai89]

NaNoWriMo Excerpt (Eventual Drarry/Snaco/Snarco/Snarry)

Trigger Warning this excerpts contains references to rape, prostitution, and frequent drug use.

You were Raped.

Draco shuddered, and he felt his throat tighten and eyes sting. There was a residual ache that told him that his throat was damaged, but he could not think on it—he wouldn't

“I can't remember any of it,” Draco muttered as he traced the stitching in the blanket draped over him.

“You may, in time,” Severus replied in the same light tone, more gentle and caring that he would have expected from such a man. He had always been better with his Slytherins than the others back at school, but he was still far from what one might call warm and fuzzy.

“Can't you just use a Memory Charm on me?”

“I absolutely cannot, for two reasons,” Severus replied, his voice seemingly caught between annoyance and sympathy. “First, because you mind is repressing it naturally. To rid your mind of it, I would need to force you to remember it, and to force someone to forget such a traumatic thing always leaves a mark on their mind. It would do more harm than good.”

“What's the other reason?” Draco asked sulkily as he frowned at Severus. In truth, he'd take the mark on his mind over remembering what had happened, especially if it was as traumatic as Severus implied.

“Your body is riddled with muggle chemicals,” Severus said with an accusatory tone. “It took some time to piece everything together from a bloods sample, but I found Ketamine, Cocaine, Gamma-Hydroxybutyric Acid, Prozac, Valium...Was there any muggle drug you're not taking?”

“You try living my life with a clear head and see how far you get,” Draco countered and crossed his arms. “You've been out of my life for years, Severus. Don't you dare come waltzing back in and assume you know better than me.”

“I am a Potions Master, you ridiculous boy, of course I know better than you,” Severus snarled, making Draco jump. “It's a miracle you haven't killed yourself with all the rubbish you've been pumping into your system.”

“It's my body!” Draco snapped back, “I can do as I like with it.”

“Are you listening to yourself, Draco?” Severus demanded, “are you really so foolish that you would throw your life away for an hour of bliss? Of false joy? Who will look after your mother and father if you lost your life? Who would provide for them? Did you think of them at all?”

In true Slytherin fashion, Severus had gone straight for his most vulnerable point.

Draco froze, and he stared at Severus as though he'd been slapped. He thought of his mother, alone with no one to speak to but his mad father, and his father, trapped inside his own mind.

A sudden hand slid over his own, and Draco jumped at the sudden touch. Severus immediately moved away, but Draco reached for his hand and caught it before he got very far.

“I will help you flush out your system of this poison if that is what you wish,” Severus said in a soft tone he'd never heard him use before. “It will be very hard, and you will hate me a great portion of the time. Know only that I have your best interests at heart, Draco. I wish to see you become the strong young man that I know you to be.”

“I don't know if I can,” Draco mumbled softly, his voice cracking a little. “It's...it's too hard, and I need it, no one wants a depressed whore...It keeps me smiling when I am at my worst. It makes me feel...like I can do anything.”

“It is false joy, Draco,” Severus said, and squeezed his hand gently. “Potter wants to make amends for his actions, and his blundering attempts at friendship or some Gryffindor imitation thereof, I can help you. You don't have to do this to yourself anymore.”

“What else could I even do?” Draco asked weakly, “I have nothing else. My body is currency. Men love me.”

“The wrong kinds of men,” Severus replied softly, but firmly. “You do not need to look so far for a warm body to share your bed. There are good men, better men, where the mind is stronger than the penis.”

Draco choked, and stared incredulously at Severus. Of all the ridiculous things he'd heard, he'd never expected to hear Severus say such a thing.

“It's not so much the men that concerns me,” Draco replied once he'd calmed down. “I have a...companion that I care about very much. He's very good to me, and pays me to be on his arm, but even if he didn't, I'd do it anyway.”

“Do you love this man?” Severus asked mildly, and Draco nodded.

“I think I might,” he said with a small smile. “It's not quite love-love, I don't think, but I care for him a great deal. He makes me feel good, and I do not mean just in a sexual way.”

“He makes you feel like yourself,” Severus filled in, and Draco nodded.

“Exactly,” he replied as he let go of Severus's hand and drew his knees to his chest. “I just...I have to get back to him.”

[danpuff-ao3]

first lines

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have fewer than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line. Then tag some people to take part.

I saw this floating around and felt like doing it! I won't actually tag anyone so feel free to join in if you like! I'll be including my 20 most recent fics, excluding drabbles and drabble collections.

Peaceful and lovely is Lily as she sleeps.

- smile with sweet surprise (Snarry, Snily, E, wip)

In their early years together, the time Severus took unwrapping Christmas and birthday gifts drove Harry spare.

- 9 January 2022 (Snarry, T, 1k)

It is not easy to sneak into St. Mungo’s so late at night, but Remus manages.

- A Matter of Time (Snarry, E, 3k)

This Valentine’s Day will shape up to be the most traumatizing day of Draco Malfoy’s life.

- Welcome to the Family (Ron/Lucius, Cissamione, Drarius, Snarry, M, 4k)

“Christmas is no time to sulk over Evans.”

- The Green Dress (Jegulus, E, 1k)

It is not the dead of night in which Fred and George choose to sneak.

- Prankmas Eve (Gen, G, 1k)

Severus is five.

- Boxes & Baubles (Snarry, Snegulus, T, 2k)

Every year since she married, Molly has knitted sweaters for her loved ones.

- The Pink Prank (Gen, G, 900)

How bad does one have to be to earn detention with the headmaster?

- Clandestine Meetings & Stolen Stares (Snarry, M, 2k)

Kingsley leans against the wall and looks down at his gold watch.

- Play Me the Classics (Kingco, E, 4k)

Pale, flat stomach.

- This is Our Fate (Snarry, E, 1k)

There is not much Severus Snape would not do for Harry Potter, if asked.

- Three is a Charm (Snarry, Snarco, E, 4k)

Hermione should have known better than to get her nose stuck in a book, here of all places!

- A Little Taste of Wasting Time (Fleurmione, M, 1k)

The sex is bad.

- Lover Boy at Play (Snarry, E, 4k)

Scorpius never meant to use the Amortentia.

- Teardrop in Your Palm (Scarry, Snarry, E, 2k)

The cake is strawberry with strawberry icing.

- Birthday Party (Dremus, G, 2k)

They’re your friends, they love you.

- Spaghetti (Snarry, T, 1k)

The sun glares through the kitchen window, bright and unforgiving.

- Choice (Snarry, M, 600)

Bryony House is the finest establishment on Knockturn Alley.

- Close Enough (Snarry, Snape/other, E, 1k)

Harry loves Severus.

- Question (Snarry, T, 1k)

Well, have we learned anything today? No. Just me cringing at my own work, per usual. 😂 My favorite opening line has to be Lover Boy at Play because come on. If bad sex doesn't reel you in, what will??

[danpuff-ao3]

🎄Holiday Rec: Christmas Fairy

Snarco. Rated E. 6k.

When the fairy on top of the tree gets a cold Harry rescues it – with unexpected results, courtesy of one Severus Snape.

[danpuff-ao3]

Hiya! For fanfic end of year asks: 3 and 14 :D

Hi!! Thanks for the asks! :D

3.) favorite line/scene you wrote this year

Hmm that's a tough one! Lines are really tough, but maybe I can narrow down the scenes.

Okay maybe not because many scenes from Collateral Damage come to mind. The first bit of hotel smut is one I love a lot. But also the fight (and then the make up) scenes at the end? Priceless. Not only were they interesting explorations of their individual characters, but also their dynamic.

Then also (because I love options): the last scene from Teadrops in Your Palm (for the angst) and the opening scene of Loverboy at Play (for the MESS.)

14.) a fic you didn’t expect to write

I'm not sure anything totally caught me off guard. There's not one that really jumps out as being like "huh. Who'd've thunk it?"

If I think about it a bit more, maybe 2 I can maybe say. Choice came to me more or less out of nowhere. Just grabbed me and shook me and said "write me now!!" There's not much plot, just Snape weighing his options and covering his thoughts/feelings about his situation. And it's not normally the way I wrote the Snarry relationship but it's a concept that really spoke to me. That story struck me deep and I still think about that world a lot, that Severus. What he might have chosen. What came next for him. It's not a flashy story or really great, but it is one that did something to me. And it really did just sorta appear out of nowhere. It's also one I really considered not posting, but I'm glad I did anyway. I was much too worried about what other people would think about it and I had to tell myself that it didn't matter if anyone else liked it or not. I love that piece so much and I'm really glad I wrote it and also really glad I shared it.

The other is Teardrops in Your Palm. I decided pretty last minute to attempt to write for Kinktober. I wrote and edited that story in a day. But it's less a matter of how quickly I pulled the story together, but more the ship. Snarry is my OTP and I struggle to read or write Harry and Snape with other people, so writing Scarry was...well. Kinda scary! (But tbh I have a little crush on Scarry. Like I'm too married to Snarry for it to really happen, but if I ever shipped anything else, it might be that!)

Oh and a weird add-on but Three is a Charm is the updated version of a fic I removed last year called The Alchymist. (Mostly I switched it from past tense to present and fixed up a few bits and bobs.) Not only is this a weird one for the ship reason (Snarco??) but I did take down The Alchymist (and it's sequel) for a reason. I'm not sure why I decided to spruce it up and put it back up. And tbh not sure I made the right decision but...it is what it is!

I'm trying to be brave and leave up works even if I'm not the happiest with them, and even if other people don't like them. These stories are a part of my story, after all!

Thanks again for asking! Sorry if I talked your ear eyes off!

fanfic end of the year asks

[danpuff-ao3]

Fic Rec: Soulbound

Snarco. T. 14k.

Harry had planned on marrying Ginny, but when he found out that Draco and Severus were going to be executed without cause after the war, he gave up on that dream and bound himself to them instead. Two years later, their relationship is practically nonexistent and Harry is miserable. And then, one day, he blacks out and everything changes.

danpuff notes: Angst with a happy ending! Must be said there's a happy ending, because your heart will really hurt for a while.

The triad in the start is not very strong. Everyone in this dynamic has their flaws and those flaws contribute to the awful event that, eventually, changes their relationship for the better. That said, some of these flaws are worse than others. There is a lack of communication all around. A lack of care, in some places. Terrible loneliness in others.

That loneliness is the hardest part to bear, at least for me. To feel abandoned by the people you care about. To feel neglected by the only people around you. To feel stifled by the world at large.

Harry's story here is truly, truly heartbreaking buuuuuut please let that "angst with a happy ending" tag carry you through, because it's certainly a story worth reading!

[jbankai89]

NaNoWriMo Excerpt - Snarco/Mildly NSFW

“Hmm,” he replied with a faint nod. “It would seem our fair hero has a little crush, not that he knows what to do with it. He thinks he'd be coming between us, but I'd rather us cum between you, if you catch my meaning.”

Draco moaned out loud, and trailed off to a hysterical giggle as he sat up and kissed Severus again.

“He is annoying, but not unattractive...I wouldn't protest, were it to happen. Which of us does he have the crush on?”

“Both, I think, but more you than me,” Severus replied as he leant in for another kiss. “He was raised by muggles, and certainly not the kind that are worth knowing. They were rather closed-minded, and if Potter got any sort of sexual education from them, I would be genuinely surprised. I doubt the idea of a relationship with more than one person at a time would even enter his mind.”

“Hmm, scandalous,” Draco remarked as he reached for Severus's hand. Their fingers twined together, and he smiled down at the interlocked digits. “I'm not sure how I feel about Potter having a crush on me, it might just be his hero complex in overdrive, you realize.”

“That thought had occurred to me, but no, there's just something...” Severus trailed off, cradling his chin thoughtfully as he sat there. “I can't explain it, but I am certain that it goes well beyond his ridiculous hero complex.”

“Sounds like Potter isn't the only one with a crush,” Draco remarked teasingly, and chuckled when Severus answered with a glare. “Oh, don't look like that. He is handsome, so I can't really fault you for that. Although if you make us fight for your affections, I will not be pleased, Severus. He is an annoying little thing, but when it comes to the fighting, he has a slight tendency to win.”

“Were I to do something so gauche, there would be some kind of oil involved, and you would both be naked,” Severus replied smoothly, and Draco let out a low moan.

“Now you have me thinking of Naked Potter too,” Draco replied with a groan as he leant back against his pillows. “That's cheating.”

“Well, at least I have your mind focused on something positive,” Severus remarked, and Draco snorted.

“That's debatable,” he replied with a derisive snort. “Potter attracts trouble like flies to rotting meat. Aligning ourselves with him in any capacity might be a recipe for trouble.”

“Apologies,” Severus said, though he did not sound very apologetic. “I am afraid that the thought of two ripe bodies in my bed instead of just one is making it a little difficult to focus.”

“And at last Severus Snape reveals his Achilles Heel—it is not love, or desire for power, but two young men in his bed.” Draco smirked, and Severus frowned at him.

“You make me sound like an old pervert—you are both of age, and you seem to have no complaints about kissing me. Besides, you can't curse a man for dreaming.”