#one time i met a guy from like north africa who only spoke french and i only spoke spanish and some italian but we still understood each oth

[oldladydatin]

One who does not travel, does not know the value of men

“One who does not travel, does not know the value of men” an oh so fitting Moroccan proverb, I am traveling in a way haha and recently to Morocco. I started talking to him on my dating app and well he does the same thing as I do professionally, so I figured he probably wasn’t a psycho. I gave him my number and we started texting and he asked me to meet him. I was excited, he was intelligent, caring, a divorced single father, but then he said he wasn’t from here, he was from Morocco and would that be a problem? I thought I don’t know anything about Morocco except they sell exceptional rugs that people in movies always want to smuggle into the country and wrap bodies in. I just said no why would it be a problem? He says I don’t know? But I got busy and everyday he asked when my next day off was, when can we see eachother, he said that he was excited to meet me. I was a little stressed about money as both my kids presented me with an enormous list of things they needed. I know other women like to date and treat it like it’s free meals and such. I’ve at this point though gotten stuck with the entire bill once or twice, and half more than that. I’m old fashioned I sort of look down my nose at men who do this, especially if they asked me out. I even dismiss these experiences as non dates, then when men think they have some claim on me because we went on a “date” I’m like no we met as friends, remember I paid for half. Due to these experiences I now go to dates with the expectation of paying and so if I’m having weeks where I’ve enormous lists of crap to buy my kids I don’t date. So I kept putting him off and putting him off. Meanwhile I’m reading.

So Morocco is an Arabic, a mostly Islamic country so now I get why he asked if that was okay, I imagine he gets a lot of nopes. He spoke French which was hella sexy, France and Spain both had a lot of interest in Morocco, but they have mostly maintained their Berber traditions. It’s in north Africa and borders the Sahara desert, Atlantic ocean, part of the Mediterranean sea and the Atlas Mountains, and roughly borders Spain. I learned enough to not sound like a dumb American. Eventually he’s irritated with me and demands that we’re going to dinner. So I’m nervous and I never get nervous anymore, but this is so much different than anything I’ve experienced because the man’s only been in the states like 7 years and he’s in his 40′s, he’s vanilla. I knew very little, I’ve an Arabic Master friend, who’s also Muslim and I’ve learned random sexual facts about that culture but nothing helpful in this situation. He turns out to be short, he’s a little taller than me, he’s grey and he wasn’t in any of his pictures, his teeth are crooked, he has a really thick accent, yes I know I sound pretentious but what kinds of things do you notice when you first meet people? That’s what I notice. He’s fit, he’s wearing a wrist brace and he explains he hurt it playing soccer. He opens the door, pulls my chair out, orders for me, he was way more of a gentleman than any man I’ve dated, and I love that. We start talking and I ask simple questions like how many kids, how long have you been divorced, how long have you been in the field, and he asked the same questions and before I knew it a lot of time had passed. We don’t work in the same departments, my job is more technical, but we have things we can talk about and this date goes well. I’ve never dated anyone in my same field and it was kind of nice to have someone who could really related to what I do, and what I go through. I liked that we had that in common, people at work have tried to set me up with guys at work or at other places. Like we work so many hours that the only people any of us tend to socialize with is each other. There’s a few guys who’ve made it known they were interested, I turned them down, at that time I was seeing Eric and was just stupid. But partially I thought I don’t know? I’d never get away from work if I dated someone from there. But I enjoyed this, it is hard finding people who really understand what I go through. We kissed and he wasn’t like the best kisser ever but it definitely wasn’t the worst and he got close and said he’d like to see me again. We are texting over the next week and he tells me he finds me beautiful, he enjoyed our date, when can he see me again.

Even though this doesn’t go badly, I wasn’t blown away and I felt bad about that because he didn’t do anything wrong, I just wasn’t really excited by him. Maybe I’m too picky, I don’t know? He keeps on me about seeing each other again. One day I said okay why don’t we meet down at the famous Starbucks's of first dates and drink a tea on the patio, it was nice out. I thought at the very least it’d get him off my back. He was excited by this and he meets me. Again the conversation is great and he’s a little more touchy feely than he had been. After about an hour he asks if I’d like to drive around? I’m excited by this because I was seeing a Dom guy for awhile and when he said let’s go drive around he took me to pretty places. We drove around in the mountains, or went down by the river, we went to lakes and ponds and fed ducks, so I’ve been conditioned to be excited when I hear this, with this Dom I was seeing it meant I was getting a treat. No we start driving up by the mountain and we’re talking and then he says do you want to see where I live and I said okay. I really thought we were just going to drive by but no he takes me to his house. So I go in and his daughters are small and there’s kids toys everywhere which was really cute, I actually genuinely love kids. His house is very much like I expected after my research on Morocco, like he definitely kept his cultural tastes, but his decor was pretty and his house felt homey. But you could still tell he was a bachelor in a lot of ways. He says let me show you around and of course gradually leads me to the bedroom. I’m sitting on the bed while he’s looking for music and he puts on some crazy music I’d never heard before. I felt like I had stepped into another country at this point. 

He sits by me and starts kissing me and feeling me through my clothes, he keeps offering to take his clothes off. I’m like no that’s okay but he keeps pushing. He’s extremely dominant in this situation and he really tries to take control. He keeps making jokes like you’re not allergic to Moroccans are you? You wanna see how big Moroccans are don’t you? Eventually I give in, it’s been a few weeks because my fwb became homeless and he agrees to wear a condom and all the attention turns me on. He kept pointing out we’re consenting adults and this is okay. I ask him if he’d been with an American and he said yes. I asked how do American women differ from Moroccan women in bed, he says Moroccan women just lay there, and I thought that was odd. He asked what my favorite position was? I’ve been asked this alot lately. I said I love to be on top, so he asks do you like to be in control, and I answer no not at all. He sticks his hands in my pants and plays until he’s happy and pulls my pants down and undresses me. He seemed excited by how large my boobs are, I get that alot. He undresses and I’m a bit surprised at his penis. I should’ve researched this part more. I guess I expected he wouldn’t be circumcised but he was, but I was mentally prepared for it to not be. It’s not as large as I was expecting. My Master friend was quite large, he’d sent me pictures and he told me men from that continent were above average. This guy was probably average but incredibly thick, which is okay I think I like thick better anyways. So we have sex and it feels amazing. I have a hard time orgasming, and I frequently use a toy during sex, but I don’t have my toy, and I didn’t get enough foreplay, so I don’t cum. We haven’t ever discussed sex so he didn’t know this. When he realizes I didn’t cum, I didn’t fake it, I was honest, he’s incredibly upset. But we cuddle in bed and kiss and make jokes and talk about seeing each other again. He suddenly gets up and gets another condom and says you have to cum before you leave and I tell him I don’t think I can, he insists we try and he plays with me until I’m ready. I get on top and I was up there for a long time, and then I had to just say look it’s not going to happen, and he turns me over and wants to try doggy. This was amazing sex, this felt so good and I was getting kind of loud. So he finishes and is even more upset to find out that no I still didn’t cum. 

I’m not going to fake it to leave like I had with someone else because sex is amazing and he is more than welcome to keep trying. This may be the perfect sized dick for me to be honest. But we again lay there and I’m catching my breath and he’s upset and he’s very insistent and says you HAVE to cum before you leave. This is so odd, like I felt like I was being held hostage because I wasn’t orgasming like he wanted. I said I wish I could and explain that I just have a hard time orgasming and I sometimes need assistance, I tell him I have to go home, I told him to begin with I had a certain time I had be home. He says no, not until you orgasm. I’m like dude what? That’s not how any of this works. Then he suddenly says to me oh I know we haven’t tried this and he grabs me and puts me in a different position and we go again and again it feels incredibly but I never get there. As he’s doing this I think how on earth is this 40 something year old man on his third round? I had been there for hours? So now by round three my heads not even in this because I realize it’s not going to happen and I’m now contemplating completely unrelated things. But holy crap does this feel great, again though nothing and he’s like really upset by this. I don’t understand, most men don’t even care. So I’m not sure what to think, I felt bad for disappointing him, I was upset that he was upset but I also realize I need to go home and I’m worried about whether or not this is going to continue because you can’t hold a girl hostage because she can’t orgasm, that’s just not a thing. So he starts insisting that I go hiking with him in the morning, I say I can’t I have things planned, okay let’s have lunch in the afternoon, I say I can’t tomorrow but let’s make a plan. Then I think maybe he thinks I’m not going to go out with him again because I didn’t have an orgasm? This whole scenario is completely unexpected. He goes to the bathroom and I hurriedly get dressed so he has to take me home. He seems incredibly disappointed when he comes back in the room. I ask to use the bathroom and when I come out I’m happy to see he has his clothes on and is prepared to take me back to my car. But when he drops me off I kiss him good bye and there’s definitely some attitude, he’s extremely pissed off that I didn’t cum. Now I kind of want to call him because just thinking about him behind me the way he was and how good it felt, really really turns me on, but then I’m not sure because I started to worry I done messed around and became a sex slave for real this time.

[safasaf2018]

Day 4 - 6/5/18

AMAZING DAY. 

Woke up at 7:30 to leave for our first day trip at 8:15. I went to the café with some others, got a small breakfast, and we were off in the campus shuttle! I did some of my reading and slept on the bus so nothing to report there, but our first stop was at an olive oil mill that’s been titled the best olive oil in Morocco! Which is pretty big because Morocco hosts a Mediterranean diet with hundreds of miles of olive trees, wheats, grapes, etc. We were shown the olive press which unfortunately wasn’t running because it’s off season, but then we got to taste olive oil straight out of the large tanks it sits in post-milling process. The guy basically told us that all olive oil produced in the US is rancid and flavorless, so olive oil is now ruined for me. After that we piled back in and went to Volubilis, a 2,000 year old ruined Roman city in Northern Morocco that has to do with our readings this week covering pre-historic North Africa. Our professor gave us a tour, we took pictures, it was pretty cool to see where the main road was, where the residential neighborhoods were, the shops, the bigger houses, etc. Then we got back in the shuttle and drove to Meknès, the city nearby, where we disappointingly ate at McDonalds while surrounded by myriad local eateries that were just as cheap, more authentic, yummier, etc, but I get it because McDonalds has something for everyone, it’s fast, and it was pretty funny to see an Arabic McDonalds. From there our professor showed us the once HUGE palace (14 times the size of Versailles) that’s now been turned into residential spaces, an outdoor market, etc, and we went to our last attraction of the day. Our professor’s wife teaches English to immigrants in Meknès (officially THE coolest job ever), and a group of 10 of them all from Cameroon formed a traditional African dance group called Lahdim Africa, and put on a special performance for us! Any guest speaker on this trip is payed 1,000 Moroccan dirham (about $120), so we counted them as “guest speakers” so we could get them the money to buy real drums, as some of them were using stools. In the beginning the leader of the group, who is also a social worker with other immigrants in Meknès, and unfortunately the only one of them currently employed, introduced himself and explained the mission of their group. They only spoke French and Basa (their language from Cameroon), so I was asked to translate. The dance was every bit as amazing as you could imagine and then even more. At different times they pulled various students (and even our professor!!!) into the group and had them mimic their dance moves (or try to) which was more successful for some students than others! They were drumming, chanting, singing in Basa, wearing traditional Basa dress, their energy was stunning, it was so great. Then finally back in the car where almost everyone slept all the way home. During one of the legs of traveling between destinations, Somto, our student from London whose family is from Nigeria, and I talked about Africa and I told him I wanted to go to Somalia and told him why, and he told me about a class at Yale he’s currently taking (it lasts 2 semesters) called Social Enterprises in Developing Countries. During the Spring semester students get organized into groups of 3 and are given different cases all based in African countries. They formulate some type of action plan, and over the summer are sent to their countries to gather data, meet with people, etc, then compile all of it into a research paper and conclusion the following Fall semester. So basically you bet your ASS that I will be signing up for that class next Spring semester. 

Like I said in another post, because it’s Ramadan a lot of people are fasting for the month from sunrise to sunset. I asked our student from Singapore, our student from Egypt/Yemen, and my roommate from Morocco why they fast, and they all said that there were a few reasons for fasting: 1. To remember that there are people who have to go without eating because they can’t afford food 2. To practice self control in the eyes of their god, to prove that they can resist temptation 3. To realize how much food they do eat, and can sometimes eat in one sitting without even thinking about it. Knowing all of that, especially the first reason, and seeing how friendly everyone is, and learning about the origins of Islam, it angers and confuses me to no end that people associate Islam with hate and terrorism. I don’t know I’ve only been here a few days and am in no way an expert, but at this very moment based on the people I’ve met and what I’ve heard, I just can’t understand it. Islam seems to me so far to be such a loving and peaceful religion whose foundational moral is equality for all. 

Today we finally saw historical Morocco, extremely rural Morocco, and extremely urban Morocco. Urban Morocco was as busy as a beehive with tourists speaking every language imaginable, thousands of locals in traditional dress (which we don’t see a lot at the university since it’s an American university in Morocco), stray animals running around, markets, American fast food restaurants, stores galore, and more. The very rural areas were mostly fields of olives, wheat, or onions, and grazing animals being watched over by their owners, and the historic parts of Morocco were very rural but also filled with tour groups. People would get excited at the sight of our bus and wave despite the tinted windows, kids on bikes raced after us trying to keep up, and an odd amount of people actually knew our bus driver! 

All in all amazing day, now I need to catch up on reading for tomorrow! 

[mystictruth123456-blog]

Moon Conjunct Uranus, The Eclipses and Sun square Sun: My time at Beachwood terrace.

As I mentioned in my previous "transition from South node to North node " I was living in Burley Park in Leeds, West Yorkshire, UK with three spanish at first and an English guy who lived near Brighton. It was very noisey, I couldn't sleep. The address was 50 Beachwood Terrace. In Numerology the number "5" is the energy of change, freedom, communication, variety, the senses, adventure, entertainment. 5 is also my life path number in Astrology. It was defintely that. Not only did I learn a lot of Spanish but also much about the spanish values of community, family and partying. I was so resentful of my flatmates because I couldn't sleep. At one point I was very cold and angry with Pilar and Pablo because I didn't sleep well the night before and snapped at them. Then Laura stopped talking to me as well as the others, it drove me crazy. I decided to buy some Bengali food one day and the owner of the shop, a Scorpio/smooth talking cars salesman as well, reminded me that Scorpios put their mind to something, they get it. He also reminded me that God wouldn't put you through something if you didn't have the strength to deal with it. This helped me a lot with the situation and was able to make up with Laura. Still, I had many troubles my whole life with groups. I didn't want a part of there connection, they could sense there was a wall between them and I, and often they made it their goal and (especially the Scorpio girl "Laura") to surpass this obstacle. Pablo would sit their playing video games all day, yelling in Spanish, smoking weed. Laura and Pilar would play reggaeton and tease me, or beg me to read their Tarot cards. I noticed my connection getting closer and closer with them. Often I imagined being somewhere far, far away from them nor caring. I tried to detach myself from them the best I could (venus square uranus) because it hurt too much (Sun conjunct Pluto in Scorpio in the 7th). The French girl also arrived who revealed herself to have a good heart. Her father had died in the past and she arrived at the house because her ex she had been living with beat her. We spent one great evening listening to nostalgic music and dancing, singing Cher and other tunes. When the Sun went into Leo we would have dance parties in the living room that would go mental sometimes. I would ride along the Leeds -Liverpool canal sometimes. It was so beautiful and peaceful. I would think I had arrived in heaven. I met a guy that lived on a boat in the canal and he says it was the best time of his life. He reminded me how we often get so caught up in the rat race that we ain't happy. He lives off the grid. Also met a homeless guy in a boat who travels up the river and sells his carving. This encounter changed a lot of things for me. On the weekends I would meet my French friend Mael and we would meet with a bunch of international people and dance, speak in different languages and share our cultures. There was even a time when I met with some french people and then my French flatmate suddenly arrived! She was best friends with a few of the french there and we all knew each other! The Spanish girls returned to spain for fifteen days, before that time I had damaged the TV in anger (which I felt ashamed about and told them about) so I was dreading their return. I begin feeling time pressing to find a new place to live and no matter how many times I would tell pablo or the English roomate Ken below me about the noise it would only stop briefly and then increase. Pablo would leave the dishes stacked in our little kitchen and his clothes and stuff all around the common area which elicited many quarrels and in the end Pilar not speaking with Pablo. Another example of how strange circumstances were, there was an Irish guy called James who I met at the Spanish English Intercambios, who was very charming but would talk shit to me every time I saw him, especially in front of other women. One day, not soon after moving into Beechwood Terrace, James arrived at my house. It was a strange surprise. He was seeing Pilar and trying hard to fuck her but she made him wait, so then he tried to get at our french roomate which didn't work as well I thought. The house and neighborhood was always full of surprises. An example is some hippies moved in next door one day and threw a massive party all night, I asked to turn it down, lady felt bad and about three weeks later brought us birthday cake as a way of saying sorry I think. Another example was I got accidently locked out of my room by the letting agent, had to sleep on the couch and down the street, I heard screaming and encountered a dude dressed all in purple with a purple jesters hat, off his face, underneath a car. He was alright. Took him to the park and the cops got him. He said he was from Manchester and kept screaming "I am in heaven" I also bumped into a dude who offered me a room to rent in his house while all that was happening. I came back another time from my counseling appointment in Harrogate, after a walk and reflection in the woods. I bumped into Pilar with Her spanish friend Elo playing music, pilar dressed up in a robe, with crutches. It was very cute. I left the house about to confront everyone about the noise and bumped into a dude on a bike who lived in Chapel town, one of the hoods here in Leeds. He grew up a bit in Africa and finally arrived in Leeds, he was all about eckart tolle and loved America. He spoke a bit too much. Said he had isolated himself and seemed a bit over eager to hang with me. We chatted until four in the morning and then pulled tarot a card after never hung out with him again. I Felt bad about that. I pulled the tower. Another time I was looking for houses online in Victoria arcade. A gay aquarias Pakistani heritage dude from Bradford and a very pretty Czech Gypsy girl from Bradford started to talking to me. The guy kept asking me why I wasn't gay. The girl kept showing me her clothes she bought. They kept talking at the same time asking me questions about America. It was truly bizarre. I ended up bringing them to outside a meditation class. In the elevator they were making farting noises and pretending like they didn't know who it was. We never made it into the meditation class. They took off soon after and I knew I probably wasn't going to see them again and it probably wasn't my destiny to either and felt some sadness because of that, but reminded me how more down earth I've become since living in England. The next day after this incident some guy came out of my neighbors house and asked me to give him my trainers. It was truly a random time. Moon conjunct Uranus. Moon represents habits, the past, family, the home and uranus represents excitement, sudden changes, disruption. So if you combine these two planets together you can bet there was madness and excitement. Katy a English girl invited me to come to gay pride in Leeds and I had no expectations. She brought her french friend, some yorkshire girls and a spanish girl. We raved so hard at Mission Club, I had a small circle of people watching me. I invited my French friend mael. We danced (or at least I) danced on picnick tables with tons of other people and met random people in McDonald's. I went off with Leah the spanish girl to dance even more. At one point we were dancing in the rain, in the courtyard of a club, there was lazer lights and all I kept thinking was all the things I had been through up to this point, in California, my mum being really ill, being without friends, wanted to commit suicide, in a new country. Now I was dancing in the rain, free as a bird it felt, giving it my all for all those times I suffered. A week later Mael left, before he left if there was any doubts whether he was my friend or not, they were cast aside. His kindness and openness helped me open my heart to people when I had closed myself off from friendship before coming to Leeds. When he left I felt quite sad and said I wouldn't make more friends at first, I also had to find a place in two weeks and was having a crisis of faith. He taught me not to take personally or seek validation from these other folks who would critize me for being free, playful and essentially myself,and then ignore me. I realized having one good friend could make a city, even a country that much better. I decided to keep making friends and was successful in continuing my social circle. The spanish girls returned, and forgive me. I spent many days at the Victoria arcade, a very beautiful space, looking for places on my phone, people walking up and playing the piano when it was there, my life felt like a movie. The house search proved to be challenging, all the places wanting 6 months contract with very little room to squeeze out of it. One night I needed to wake early for a viewing in the morning and it was so noisey that I didn't sleep a wink. I yelled at Pablo and went to the viewing where three other people showed up. I spoke with my uncle Tim about my struggles and that needed a place to stay. The Next day I bought a tent and went into the woods nearby with a pair of clippers I found I made a path through the thorns to create a find a hidden and quiet place to camp. Still too noisey, so I went to a golf course near the canal and then realized how funny all this was. If only the folks in Cali could see me now, in a golf course in Yorkshire, England Leeds trying to pitch a tent because I couldn't sleep in my house. I then went and met with Leah and we went to a karaoke and danced like mad at a gay bar and then returned with her friends, talking at her house about domestic abuse. I opened up about how challenging it was about moving my whole life and making new friends. How I always found something negative about a place. I slept in my place that night. Next morning I get a text from Tim that I can stay at his hotel rooms he owns in Harrogate until October. A blessing showing me the universe has got my back but also I felt sad. It meant leaving the house and living an hour away. It was so sudden I cried and realized how much I cared about my flatmates, how quickly time passes and that everything felt like it was coming together but now it was time to leave. I went to the language exchange that day and ate food, feeling my time living in Leeds, slipping away. I returned later to give my all on the dancefloor, dancing with a middle aged Pisces Polish women, with dancing with the other international folk there and grinding on her until I had to leave. In the car and kissed her listening to Kazumba, after being very confused, because her facial expression was always without expression. It was way better then meeting the Lithuanian girl on the street who I could have kissed but didn't and she ditched me very rudely at the bar, while listening to live drum and bass. This all happened the day before the Solar Eclipse in Leo... I got back to Harrogate after fidling with the lockbox to get to key to enter a beautifully designed room, with purple couches, beautiful lights and my own quiet comfy bed. I could feel the blessings of the universe then, very strong. I deserve this I thought, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel But also there is no destination.. The journey is continues Part two "The otherside of the Eclipse: Living alone in Harrogate"