#only at 06/06 so no in-depth spoilers (i know the main twist) but

[phantomthievez]

p4 is infuriating BUT I LOVE IT but it's infuriating

[imagine-fight-write]

RANDOM - BANANA FISH DISCUSSION - I’M SO VAGUE

Hello, Everyone!

No excuse for this being late, it just is.

Note: This is just me rambling about a certain subject in relation to Banana Fish which is totally vague (but that’s probably all in my head.)

If you’re enjoying my Banana Fish Review series, Vol. 1: Part 3 will be up either later today or Saturday!

Unless Time sabotages me again. They might.

* I like to think of Time as having a female persona. What do you think?

Anyway . . . 

This one is more in-depth musings about a certain subject & character, rather than analysis of a scene. It’s deeply vague & confusing (probably because I’m thinking too deep about it. But I don’t care. It’s fun to theorize.) If you want to continue reading delightful gushing about scenes & characters in Banana Fish in chronological order (mostly), please check out Part 3 of my Banana Fish review.

Determining Ash’s sexuality is marvelously tricky. *Also Eiji’s, now I think of it. 

So far as I know, Eiji hasn’t have any / very little romantic or sexual experience (or is he simply shy? Who knows?). Thus, he can’t know who he likes & neither can the reader (for certain.) His attraction to Ash is vague enough that valid arguments can be made for anything from friends to soul mates to lovers. Isn’t it wonderfully maddening?

Otaku, She Wrote has a great article about this, here:

https://otakushewrote.wordpress.com/2018/06/22/more-than-friends-more-than-lovers-exploring-ash-and-eijis-love/

I think readers tend to gravitate towards lovers because there’s this nasty, prevalent idea that romantic relationships are somehow more & deeper & better & closer than friendship (which I hate & I will fight people over.) To be clear: If you like the idea of Ash & Eiji being a couple, that’s valid. 

It makes sense.

If you like to go with the easy route of saying Ash clearly likes Eiji, therefore he’s gay, I salute you for your acceptance of obvious things.

(This is so cute. I love animal motifs!)

I personally can’t view it that simply, due to both Ash’s extremely traumatic past & the world he grows up in.

However, if you take that (saying Ash is gay) & dismiss or look down on those who like to think as Ash & Eiji as soul mates or friends, 

I will fight you.

And if you take Ash & Eiji as friends & dismiss those who like them being a couple, I will also fight you.

Because this is a story about fictional characters, people have multiple different experiences which color their perspective of it, so in a very real sense no one is wrong . . . Unless they have no concrete proof from the text to back them up. Or author.

I mean, you could argue Ash is secretly a ware-lynx, & that’s why he’s so strong & clever, but why would you? There’s no evidence in the story. Anyway.

Before I begin: An Important Note.

I was attempting to look up Ash’s step-mother’s name (& couldn’t find it, I’ll have to check my manga) & I found 2 fascinating reddit threads, who’s subjects I will add to later:

https://www.reddit.com/r/BananaFish/comments/9efv87/while_watching_banana_fish_with_my_father_he/

(2nd 1 contains minor spoilers, if you don’t know who Blanca is, don’t read)

https://www.reddit.com/r/BananaFish/comments/a2s0cj/yoshida_interview_on_why_she_decided_not_to_have/

The important part about the 2nd article is that the author states something which I agree with, which is 

“Editor: "Certainly, Ash isn't active when it comes to sex."

Yoshida: "I think that's because Ash's character is sick of sex. He's been hurt over and over by sex... he's sick of it and he doesn't feel the need to have it. He's devoted his life to it, and he's had enough of it.”

Which appears to validate my idea that Ash is willfully asexual. He could easily be aromantic and / or have romantic or sexual desire for Eiji, sure (or other people. 1 person in the above link supposes Ash might be bi, which isn’t something I considered, but is certainly possible.)

Regardless, it’s clear that, whatever relationship or desire Ash might have for someone, Ash certainly dislikes / wouldn’t have sex with them.

I personally see them as friends/soul mates. To be specific, Ash firmly keeps himself asexual (key word, keeps) to such a degree it’s impossible to know if he’d actually be asexual or not if he’d had a normal life. It is simply impossible to know, and it’s tragic. Note, I’m not saying Ash is asexual, but that he actively tries to be. Yes, he flirts & acts sexy & kisses people. Except these are all acts a person can do & yet not feel any real desire or want to do them. I realize that sounds confusing, but it’s true. Some femme fatales do this all the time.

And as Otaku, She Wrote said, Ash is a combination of Femme Fatale & Rambo.

The manga also makes it clear, more than once, that Ash uses such moves as weapons or tools to get people to either drop their guard or convey a message as part of a plan.

He can do this & yet not feel any actual sexual desire. Also, I do want to stress, the idea that trauma will make a person asexual is wrong. Wrong. Yes, trauma can make people hesitant to start or continue a sexual relationship, or any close relationship at all, with other people. But. It won’t change if they feel sexual desire for someone else or not. So is Ash asexual? Who knows. I’ll explore this & my reasons more a little later.

First, I want to point out Eiji is probably asexual, given that he’s almost 20 & never had a romantic relationship (that I know of, up to vol. 10 of the manga.) However, he could be the type to slowly develop feelings for someone overtime. Eiji strikes me as rather shy & lonely - he hasn’t talked about anyone specific in Japan except his sister, so far as I’ve read. Or they could both be “once in a lifetime” types, which could be true for both being best friends / soul mates or a couple. As I said, from what I’ve read so far, it’s all vague enough you could argue in a lot of different ways about their relationship. (I love it.)

Now, my logic for why Ash is asexual. Ach, this section is grim & terrible & sad.

First, due to his past, it’s highly unlikely Ash can view any gay man in a positive light (or any man at all, really, his relationship with Max & Ibe is SO important & in many ways, a complete miracle).

(Ash teasing Max never gets old.)

Considering it’s also the 1980’s, there’s also a definite air of “gay men are bad” which Ash would pick up on (and has, I think.)(Even if he were gay.) Note, Dino Golzine is clearly a pedophile. Whether he considers himself gay is up for debate (so far as I know.) And unless he considers himself gay, or it’s otherwise stated, he’s not gay, but a pedophile. 

To explain: I have yet to know of any evidence that he sleeps with any men in a consensual relationship (which would mean he’s gay.) Only young men & boys, all considerably younger than him, and for various reasons, clearly not with him by choice.

* IN FACT, I have yet to know of Dino Golzine sleeping with ANYONE consensually (Have I mentioned I hate this man? Because I do.) Brrr. I told you this is all painful. Here is an adorable kitten.

Anyway, also related to Ash’s trauma, it’s unlikely Ash can easily accept any sexual or romantic relationships as good or enjoyable. He clearly views close contact as dangerous.

 As I said, the manga makes it clear on more than 1 occasion that Ash clearly uses his sex appeal & romantic gestures, such as kissing, as tools in his arsenal of weapons, divorced from his emotions, wants, or desires (mostly.) This isn’t to say he couldn’t be aromantic. 

I mean, Ash did have a crush on a girl when he was 14. That’s got to count for something, surely, given the environment he was living in.

*I mention this because someone reminded this of me in that 2nd reddit link I put above, & they immeaditly dismissed it!

Um, hello? Crushes are sexual desire 101.

Of course, regardless of if he’s asexual or not, he could still care about his friends as deeply as he does. Remember, asexuality is about sexual desire, not emotions in general. You can love someone & not have sexual desire for them. People do this all the time with family & friends.

All of Ash’s tender scenes with Eiji? (that I’ve seen up to Vol. 10) I’ve had a bunch of similar heart to hearts with close friends over the years, & I’m super protective about my friends. But I still don’t have sexual desire for any of them. They’re my friends.

Friendship is so hard to define, isn’t it?

(I looked up friendship gifs & found this. Precious.)

On a related note, I have no doubt Ash has had a bunch of self loathing & hatred over his good looks (can you really blame him? Because a lot of people like to blame his good looks as the reason why they attack him. Which is so gross I have no words.) (Victim Blaming 101) And clearly Ash would take any tender or protective emotions he might have for another boy (or anyone) as something twisted, wrong, & dangerous. 

(Again, given his past, can you really blame him?) Because I can’t think of any gay men, or anyone really, who’s been a good role model & decent human being, who is a grown man, except maybe the cops, but there’s a whole level of complexity there with Ash being a gang leader & linked to Dino Golzine that I don’t feel like getting into 

(unless you want me to in another post!)

And yet Ash does care, deeply. I’m so glad he has friends in his various gang members & Shorter. They’re so important. He even has great moments with Max

(which is such a miracle, I’m going to cry if I think about it too hard. After being raised by a man like Dino & their twisted relationship, it’s astonishing Ash can trust any grown-up man, ever.)

Anyway, moving to a slightly different topic, consider that Banana Fish is clearly a world of men, and boys. Women and girls are few & far between (the main ones are great, but still few.)

(I can’t wait until we get to the part of Ash is disguised as a nurse, because I still don’t know what that’s about & I love it already.)

Anyway. Moving on.

Theory: Ash doesn’t view women as sexual cos that’s not the world he grew up in.

(Pictured Above: Not a lady)

Correction: Ash does mock the obi-gyn’s secretary with some pretty crude language. (which I will not forget & he needs to apologize for & never do again.)

Clearly he’s picked up on the disgusting idea of women as being 2nd class to men & also their value tied to their sexuality.

(Gee, I wonder who knows how that feels.)

However, far as we know, Ash has never slept with a woman (or girl.) Ash has never been sexually assaulted by a woman or girl.

Well, apart from those nurses. but that’s a long ways away in my reviews. 

I will not forget!

Also, considering all his sexual encounters have been with men, and I must stress, grown-up men (again, so far as we know), it makes sense to me that Ash wouldn’t have any interest in women the way most men do.

I’m not saying he wouldn’t find them attractive or react to a nude photo - of course he would (unless he’s actually gay or asexual & has no sexual desire for women, or anyone at all.) However, even if he’s straight, I still don’t think he’d automatically think of women as being sexual / desire them in the way most men /boys would. Most women exist in a world apart from his. The most Ash does is talk to the secretary. He barely interacts with Jessica (that I remember, just wait til we get to that part) or his step-mom. I don’t think he even interacts with Shorter’s sister.

Yes, Dino Golzine asks if Ash has a girlfriend, but it’s done in almost jest, and Ash’s reaction makes it clear he has no interest in one. Again, because he has no personal experience of women as sexual beings (that we know of) it’s doubtful he’d easily think of them as such, despite his words to the secretary. He only knows men have sex with women because men talk about it, & there’s pictures & magazines. Again, this is difficult because there’s so few women in Banana Fish it’s hard to tell. So this is just a theory.

To sum, personally I think Ash might be asexual. Most likely, aromantic.

But again, given the complexity of Ash’s life, it’s really hard to tell. Yes, he kisses a boy at some point. But it was a cold blooded kiss, meant to pass along a secret message. It was part of a plan.

Ash never mentions this kiss again (far as I know, up to vol. 10 of the manga) and he freaks out ( is afraid & embarrassed) at a joke  about wanting to view his public hair.

Again, is that due to his past of being abused, or is he simply asexual? Who knows. (The author knows, I’m sure.)