#only tagging it cuz my last post caused an unintentional stir and i wanna make clear this

[edenfenixblogs]

Idk if you're still interested in knowing about this stuff, but drawfee tweeted about the pcrf stream today

Yes! I have seen this. I’m really glad they mentioned they won’t tolerate antisemitism.

It seems like they’ll be allowing the spamming of FtRttS, flags, and watermelon emojis. But if they actually manage to encourage the participants to to not just demand a ceasefire but to ask them to call on their representatives to demand a negotiated ceasefire in which both sides actually cease to fire, then I’m happy enough.

I have said repeatedly that I don’t think the folks at Drawfee are bad people. I think that there is some unexamined antisemitism that is not unique to any member of Drawfee and is common in basically anyone who has not actively engaged in antiracist work about antisemitism specifically.

I trust that they want to do good.

I think in general this statement is really good because it addresses a lot of the main concerns that people brought up online about how silence encourages antisemitism.

But I also think that it will leave some Jews feeling alienated for understandable reasons. I’m not going to detail those reasons here in this post or in any post I tag with “Drawfee,” because I’m not in the habit of trying to hurt people who are trying to improve themselves and grow.

As for me personally? Idk. This statement really helped a lot. I love the gang. I have all three of Julia’s drawtectives posters on my wall. I have the Trans Rigs keychain and pride rights shirt. I have the post cards framed in various places around my home. I even have the book!

It actually made me ill to look at them before this statement—not because they owe me anything. I want to emphatically state that none of them owe me anything. But I won’t pretend it didn’t have an affect on me when I saw them engaging with blatant propaganda sources—knowingly or not. Speaking for myself and only myself: I just couldn’t emotionally handle that I had spent so much time supporting creators who might actively hate me. But now I’m back to being happy to see the Drawfee merch around me home. It reminds me of the enjoyment their content brought me.

NGL, though. I’m still pretty wounded by how nasty things got for no reason, so idk if (again, just speaking for myself here and not encouraging anyone to follow my lead in any way) I will be able to engage with the content anymore.

I want to! But I also think they probably do NOT want me to. I’m just one fan and I think my interactions, however well intentioned, caused them stress and anxiety.

I feel wounded that they interpreted my actions in a manipulative way despite my repeated attempts to make clear they were in good faith. They likely feel wounded because I (unintentionally) inspired controversy in response to what they felt was an unambiguously good deed.

Of course, they might not know or care about me specifically at all, which is fine! Who knows‽ Only they can.

Either way, whether they are indifferent to me or angry with me or annoyed at me or whatever, I feel a lot of complex ways about everything that happened during this particularly stressful time.

So, idk. I’d love to enjoy their content again. And depending on how well they curb antisemitism in the stream (which is dependent on whether or not the mods educate themselves enough on what antisemitism even looks like, which seems to be one of the main issues at play in modern discourse), I might feel safe enough to watch their content again.

It’s hard to imagine feeling that same kind of comfort that I used to though, given everything. But that’s ok. That is a personal boundary for me based on my own needs. It’s an unpleasant feeling, but it doesn’t make them bad people or me a bad person. Everyone is gonna have their own boundaries and limitations about topics this sensitive.

Thanks for the message @theres-so-many.