#oof. just remembered that i /used/ to follow lane and then hallie manipulated me into unfollowing him

[eldritchsurveys]

914.

1) What are some positive things, realizations or habits that came out of quarantine for you? >> I think I’m going to have to actually follow at least one survey taker because I’m tired of having to go to their actual blog every time I want to find surveys (Lane stopped appearing in the #survey tag for me around the time that tumblr updated the dash, for some reason, and he’s probably not the only one but I haven’t figured out who else got axed yet). So if you get a follow from aynrandslashfiction, it’s just me. EDIT: Realised I didn’t answer the question, pfffft. The best thing that has come out of pandemic for me is physical distancing, tbh. I mean, I’d prefer to not have the pandemic, of course. I’ve been dealing with people’s inability to maintain personal space for years and I would continue if I had to, but, you know.

2) How do you feel about people who are “workaholics”? Would you consider yourself one? How do you personally maintain a work-life balance? If you aren’t working, what personal activity or task takes up most of your time? >> I feel the same way about workaholics that I do about any other kind of -holic -- they’re probably escaping something in their life/past that they find intolerable, and I also feel like I would not want to get emotionally involved with them.

3) How financially responsible would you say you are? What could you spend less money on? >> As financially responsible as I can be on an income that is not meant to be liveable. It’s not like I can be terribly irresponsible, because I just don’t have enough money to blow in the first place. 

4) How would you describe yourself as a friend? What value would you say you bring to your friends? >> I don’t know how to describe myself as a friend. I don’t know what makes me valuable in a human interaction at all. This is the kind of understanding that is helped by testimonials from other people, and I don’t have enough data.

5) In psychology they say that our romantic relationships are an extension of our relationships with our parents, and that we tend to choose our partners based on whatever was lacking in our childhood, or that we are attracted to traumas and sufferings that are familiar to us rather than the unknown. Can you relate to this? >> Of course I can relate to that. 

6) Is there a specific type of survey you miss taking? How or where do you find new surveys to take these days? >> I mean, I don’t know. I don’t find new surveys very easily these days because there’s just not a lot of new ones being made, not like back in the day. That’s partially why I decided to follow along with the 5k Survey -- at least I know I don’t have to worry about finding new surveys for a while (and I can save-to-draft the good surveys I do run into, so I have a nice little pile of ones to take in between 5k entries, or in the future).

7) Do you still care about tags on surveys? When you see surveys that you know don’t credit the maker nowadays, how do you feel? >> I don’t care about it because it just doesn’t seem like much of a priority. If there’s already a tag on it, I usually just leave it there.

8) Is there anyone in your life who knows about your survey-taking habits? How would / do you explain the concept of our community to someone, if you ever have to? >> I’m relatively sure Sparrow knows about it, since I’ve been taking them for years, and I also occasionally mention them in conversations. It’s pretty easy to explain, I think, although my explanation varies depending on the person’s familiarity with the internet. Sometimes I reference MySpace bulletins or Quizilla, sometimes I describe them as open-ended essay questions taken for fun and introspection, etc.

9) What happened the last time you had a disagreement or falling out with a friend? Or the last time you had to apologize to someone? >> I don’t remember. It probably just went badly.

10) Can you tell when you are not well-liked? What do you do when you feel someone is not particularly fond of you? Can you remember the last time you were in that situation? >> I don’t know if I can tell or not. I guess it depends on the person and their level of aggressiveness -- some people are more obvious about their dislike for other people than others are. And as far as what I do, it depends on who the person is and what kind of mental health day I’m having. Sometimes I don’t care, but other times my brain gets stuck on a loop trying to figure out what I did wrong. Either way, even if my brain is on negativity-loop central, I still don’t try to convince them to like me or anything. I know better than that (and most of the time I don’t actually want them to change their mind, it’s not about that -- it’s just the shame spiral).

11) How would you say your preference in movies or TV shows changed from when you were a teenager vs. now? >> I think I still like the same stuff, I’ve just added even more stuff that I like now.

12) Apart from price and location, what are some deciding factors when choosing a house for you? What is something you love the most in your current home, and what would you change if you could? >> For me, my needs revolve around having my own bedroom, having a decent-sized bathroom and kitchen, and having enough windows. There are other things that I might like too, like hardwood floors, that are just hard to get along with all the other stuff (idk what everyone’s obsession with carpet is, but god, is it hard to find non-carpeted apartments that are within budget and have the other most important boxes checked). What I like most about this apartment is that I have my own room, tbh. Otherwise it’s pretty unremarkable.

13) Do you know any “influencers” in real life? How much are you actually likely to follow an influencer’s advice or recommendations? >> I don’t. I have sub-zero interest in influencers and I think the concept is rather socially and personally damaging.

14) What emotion is the hardest for you to express? Can you think of a time when you felt force or successfully expressed this emotion? >> All emotions are impossibly hard for me to express unless I’m alone (and even then, if the shame spiral starts, you can best believe I’ll even deny my emotions to my own fucking self). I’ve been trying to work on it -- not expressing emotions around others, that’s going to take a while, just... expressing them to myself -- and let me tell you, it’s a lot of work. What’s it like to have parents that did not completely retard your emotional and social development, setting you up for a string of human relationships that also further reinforce the idea that your emotions are huge disgusting ugly things that should be ignored at best and punished at worst?

15) How do you feel about job interviews? Are you good at negotiation? Was there a time when you felt you didn’t do so well during the interview, but still got the job? >> I have never been on a proper job interview, and I’m pretty sure I would bomb it just by being... you know. Not neurotypical. (I could fake it for an interview, sure, but here’s the problem with that: if it works, and I get hired, then they’ll expect me to behave like that. Which I do not, normally. And the only thing worse than not getting hired in the first place is having a horrible time on the job, failing miserably at things, pissing everyone off, and eventually getting fired.)