#or because its super suspensful or anything. the reason why im hooked on watching the next episode is bc im just desperate for the next bit

[tragicomedys]

nge is so

[rowaning]

The Complete Fiction of HP Lovecraft rated by me, someone who read them all* but has a terrible memory

The Beast in The Cave: uh a guy goes on a cave tour and finds a creature that was like a human that got lost and adapted to its surroundings. 0/10 just because im pretty sure there was another one with this exact premise and neither of them were memorable at all.

The Alchemist: dude achieves immortality and lives in the narrators basement and has pledged to murder his entire lineage or something. 4/10 the alchemy stuff was actually kind of interesting

The Tomb: im pretty sure this is the one where a guy starts hanging out in a tomb and like travels back in time/becomes one of his ancestors? 5/10 if its the one im thinking of i did enjoy reading it

Dagon: guy lands on a mysterious island with signs of a long dead civilization. 1/10 i do not remember what happened in it

A Reminiscence of Dr. Samuel Johnson: 0/10 i have no memory of this

Polaris: also 0/10 i forgot all about it

Beyond the Wall of Sleep: could be any of the dream focused ones. if its the one about the dude sailing into the void or whatever than 4/10 not too bad

Memory: ironically, i dont remember it. 0/10

Old Bugs: 1/10 for the title god i wish i remembered this one

The Transition of Juan Romero: i got nothing. 0/10

The White Ship: this might also be the one about the dude sailing into the void? i liked that one he lived in a lighthouse and boarded a dream ship and just fucking left it was fun. 4/10

The Street: uh i think really steep street that didnt actually exist. 3/10

The Doom that Came to Sarnath: i wanna say another one of the dream centered ones where a town discovers some old relics and blatantly disrespects them and gets exactly whats coming to it. 5/10 they deserved what they got

The Statement of Randolph Carter: ok this dude shows up several times. i think this one is about how he returns to his childhood home then travels back in time and creates a time loop paradox thing. 1/10 meh

The Terrible Old Man: uh some thieves harrass a weird old guy and get got. 5/10

The Cats of Ulthar: someone is mean to a cat in a dream city, all of the rest of the cats get revenge and are revered for the rest of time. 2/10 (-3 because lovecraft has a specific name he gives to apparently every fictional and real cat he encounters and wow i wish he hadn't)

The Tree: i feel like this is something to do with a person becoming a tree but i cant actually remember. 0/10

Celephais: yeah no i got nothing 0/10

The Picture in the House: also nothing 0/10

The Temple: nope 0/10

Facts Concerning the Late Arthur Jermyn and his Family: is this the one where the dude's great grandfather married an ape? i dont think so but im not sure. 0/10, -5/10 if it is that one cause that one was especially shitty

From Beyond: nope 0/10

Nyarlathotep: charismatic dude shows up and is like get in bitches we're going to the void. i love nyarlathotep cause hes the one who directly interacts with humanity and like wears a human suit or whatever so hes just some dude whos like hey im gonna feed you to azathoth 5/0

The Quest of Iranon: got nothing 0/10

The Music of Erich Zann: narrator makes friends with an old musician whos being hunted by supernatural forces. 2/10 because i remember it but it was just ok

Ex Oblivione: 1/10 for the title but i have no clue what it was about

Sweet Ermengarde: lovecraft's sole attempt at comedy. not to my taste like at all 0/10

The Nameless city: nope 0/10

The Outsider: also nope 0/10

The Moon-Bog: sounds cool, dont remember it. 0/10

The Other Gods: dude tries to find the gods of humanity where they live on a big mountain, actually finds them, is immediately smited by the Other Gods who protect the gods of humanity. 3/10 he deserved it

Azathoth: dont recall, 0/10

Herbert West- Reanimator: Arkham man Herbert West and his assistant ressurect the dead with little thought to the consequences, then get murdered by a band of said resurrected dead. 5/10

Hypnos: nope 0/10

What the Moon Brings: also nope 0/10

The Hound: still nope 0/10

The Lurking Fear: again, nope 0/10

The Rats in the Walls: dude returns to his ancestral home, hears rats, excavates the basement and finds out that his ancestors ate human flesh, eats his friend. 1/10 it was an interesting read but can lovecraft please stop calling cats that.

The Unnameable: no clue 0/10

The Festival: nope 0/10

*Under the Pyramids: ok im pretty sure this is the one with houdini which is the only one i could not read. i went into this mentally prepared for lovecraft's bigotry but i was not mentally prepared for him dropping harry houdini, avid skeptic who absolutely would have beat the shit out of him for this, into the middle of his super racist paranormal horror. -1000/10

The Shunned House: nope 0/10

The Horror at Red Hook: also nope 0/10

He: cool title, no memory of the story. 0/10

In the Vault: wow im bad at this. 0/10

Cool Air: still no 0/10

The Call of Cthulhu: kind of all over the place, there was a thing about artists and then a thing about a cop investigating a cult. 3/10 meh but ill give it a bonus for being a staple of horror fiction.

Pickman's Model: uh artist sees some wild shit and draws it and then it eats him. 2/10 i forget the details

The Strange High House in the Mist: if this is the one im thinking of, dude does a dangerous climb to find a mysterious house and meet the inhabitant who is kind of interdimensional and also being hunted by interdimensional things. also maybe the house eats people? 2/10

The Silver Key: another Randolph Carter one, and i think this is actually the one about him travelling back in time so idk what the other one was. 3/10

The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath: randolph carter goes on a quest in the dream world to find the gods of humanity and ask why they wont let him check out this cool city he can see from his window. lots of action and very wordy and went a lot of different places. 4/10 good read but extremely xenophobic

The Case of Charles Dexter Ward: guy investigates his ancestor who looks disturbingly like him, ancestor comes back to life and kills him and takes his place and a bunch of other stuff happens. mostly a dramatized genealogical study. 3/10 not bad, very suspenseful

The Colour Out Of Space: meteor lands on a farm, scientists get weirded out by it, everything in the area gets weird then dead, alien thing gets enough power from draining nearby life-forms to escape earth. fun twist ending. 4/10 bonus for being one of the better ones, detraction for writing out a 'rural accent'

The Descendant: nope, 0/10

The Very Old Folk: nope again, 0/10

History of the Necronomicon: very dry. fake history of lovecraft's fake book thats super important to a lot of the stories. 0/10

The Dunwich Horror: isolated witchy family has a kid who no one likes that grows up real fast. graphic descriptions of renovation. a horror gets unleashed on the area and the local folklore scholars have to deal with it. 1/10 nothing good enough to counter the xenophobia

Ibid: i remember this one. no idea what it's deal was. pseudo-bibliography? it was weird. 0/10

The Whisperer in Darkness: guy has a correspondance with another guy about local folk legends based on evil crab things. other guy gets straight up replaced by an evil crab thing and first guy doesnt even notice. imagine if you followed up on a scam email and didnt realize anything was up until you saw that the face of the dude you were talking to in person was a mask. 4/10 for the comedy this guy would not last in the internet age at all

At The Mountains of Madness: guy whines about penguins and how awful it would be if there were civilizations that predated humanity. also commits grave desecration. i get hit by the realization that if lovecraft was less of a racist coward he wouldve made a great speculative sci fi author. 3/10 i would love to watch that old asshole get absolutely torn to shreds by the monster fucker community

The Shadow over Innsmouth: Fish People! Leave Them Alone! Or Else! 5/10 the protagonist gets to live the dream by escaping human society and becoming an immortal fish person

The Dreams in the Witch House: dude rents an objectively haunted room, doesnt listen to people trying to help him, gets murdered by a weird rat. later they find a shit ton of bones in the attic. 2/10 meh

Through The Gates of the Silver Key: Randolph Carter transcends time and space, then de-transcends time and space and immediately gets stuck on another planet in the distant past, makes a long and difficult journey back to earth to find that his estate is being divided amongst his heirs. the comedy potential of a man stuck in an alien body dealing with a legal system that has declared him dead is not examined. 2/10

The Thing on the Doorstep: narrator's good friend marries a fish person witch who steals his body. thats basically it. 3/10. at this point im like wow these narrators really refuse to believe the heavily foreshadowed supernatural explanations that turn out to be correct huh.

The Evil Clergyman: dude is in a room. some ghosts (?) show up. dude has a UV light for some reason. Gets his face stolen i guess and just has to live with it. 5/10 for being absolutely buck wild and refusing to explain anything

The Book: nope 0/10

The Shadow Out Of Time: dude gets his body stolen by ancient scholar species. agonizes about it for a while. finds archaeological evidence of said species. finds a book he wrote while living with said species. almost gets eaten by something. 3/10 more cool speculative sci fi but lame protagonist

The Haunter of the Dark: you'd think id remember it bc this was the last one and i read it last night. oh wait, nvm i do remember it. dude finds an old box in a run down culty church and unleashes a horror that then comes and fucks him up. 1/10 meh.

[softspoken23-blog]

Softspoken: The first 20 years of my life.

Year 1: Its the one year anniversary of a young lion Walking on his feet after pooping for months and a bunch of crying Momma showering me with love cause she see the potential But little do she know that wasn’t even in my mental

Year 2: very dependent has no interest at all as being independent. A mommas boy who just wanna play with his toys live his life as a youth happiness and joy

Year 3: Year 3 it isn’t munch to explain, im just now learning how to write and spell my name.

Year 4: In prekay learning the new things of this world. Could you believe at this age i had feelings for a girl. Her name was malayshia and she was the first girl i shared my oreos with cause i wanted a kiss but i was way over my head but i was young so its ok that it was bliss

Year 5: At the age of 5 i was caught by surprised moving to a different neighborhood opened my eyes Rent was too high with a lack of space Momma wanted better but little do she know she moved us to a questionable place

Year 6: Kinegarden was crazy but i had a lot of fun but on my own time. Didnt really enjoy the company of the others. Video games was the life. Copying movie characters was a hobby I was many characters i felt like no one cant stop me

Year 7: Started first grade but wasnt really into education. All i wanted to do was go home and be on my playstation. In my own world i was my own nation. Was very quiet and softspoken but it wasnt a positive to the crowd it was the complete opposite. Trying to put me in special education but my mom wouldn’t stop fighting Its nothing wrong with my baby he just need to work on his handwriting. They wasnt trying to hear it though so they held me back so i wouldn’t move forward. So i had some drive and motivation to push myself forward.

Year 8: Year 8 was crazy thats when the roller coaster begin it was a long ride i was wondering when it was going to end. Repeating 1st grade was hurtful but i stood strong through the pain. But the highlight of the year is when on december 23rd the day i was born i was celebrating with my love ones in chuckee cheese smiles and all get ready for a pic and say cheese. All that joy was great until i returned home and notice things were out of place whats going on whats wrong? Come to find out my house been robbed. Money and items stolen. Heart was swollen. Who would do such things? Why us why us? Mom in tears this really broke my heart. And this was the outline that started to tear my mother and step father apart.

Year 9: Nothing to discuss cause i dont really remember much

Year 10: I was chilling. Spoiled as hell getting any game i want. Started making lies that i was sick so i can stay home and sleep. Im really surprised my mom never peeped. While the cab used to be out there waiting to take me to school. I used to sit on the toilet acting like i was taking a long poop

Year 11: Was in the 5th grade and i had another crush. I was feeling her she was the bomb. But she wasnt interested in me she wanted no parts. She was feeling my bro. It was no chance for me so i knew it was slow. I was blessed enough to graduate and get out of there and move on to middle school and thats when it all begin. But news hit me hard when my mom told me the man with my middle name was my actual father he just never wanted to show me love. Told me he didnt even want me alive i wasnt even supposed to be born. But my mom wasn’t having it. She kept me cause im the only one that came out to be her little man.

Year 12: Started six grade as a 5'11 freshmen but this is when it start when i was close to hitting depression. As my skin darken over the summer i got made fun of so much i would just snap. Making fun of the spots on my arm asking me why i am so black? This gets deep it gets very personal. Problems at home started and my mom over protection started to lead to rebellion. Crushing on girls for no reason cause i was wasting my time. I used to feel like i was a eyesore so why bother why try?

Year 13: In 7th grade i was focused on a new look, looking for the change. The pressure was too strong i was really feeling drain. The harsh bullying i recieved weren’t no joke i was losing my grip i didnt wanna hang on to the rope. So i tried to fit in and try to be down with my so call friends. But that was just the beginning its not even close to the end. I remember when i got a fresh cut for this girl. And my homie try to put me on . But then she gave me that look like something was wrong. So then she brought her friends along and they followed me and it became a roast session. Tried to get away but they were persistent. No where to hide so i had no choice but to listen. My feelings were hurt badly the pain was too deep. When i got home i took off everything and just cried myself to sleep. Insercurites was a demon and it was kicking in at that point i fell like s*** and i would do anything to lighten my skin. Cause i had that mentality that the only way for me to get the girl of my dreams is to go the extreme and not accept who i am as a young man cause my life is full of s*** becoming accepted by society was now my plan

Year 14: Now this year things turned out for the worst. Its like i was under a curse. But i finally got to get a girlfriend but it only lasted a few days. Dated others but i was young and horny so i just wanted to feel they butt and bust a quick nut. Cause i aint never did it before. It was the first time i tried weed but one try made me realize it was more of a want than an actual need. Cause i wanted to fit in i wanted to be down. Peer pressure is a mother f*cker it can turn your whole life around. I got caught up in play fighting than that play fighting turned into a knockout. Next thing you know we all serving super attendent supension we couldnt go to school but i wasnt the one that caused the knockout so idk what the suspension was about. But that suspension bit me in the a** cause i missed too much time i couldnt bounce back my grades i was running out of time. When the promotion and doubt letters came in i was very excited but the teachers and staff looking at me like i was retarted. What are you happy about? Your home boys are the one that is getting promoted and you are the one in doubt. I felt like god never cared for me i never could get blessings. So i spent my whole summer sheding tears and stressing.

Year 15: Repeating the 8th grade was crazy. Plus i was having issues at home. But i found a way to cope with it all. I wanted to do something else i wanted to play basketball. So it kept me focused. I was about 6'3 with long arms and a skinny frame. But i wasnt that good but its ok cause i was learning the game. Wasnt playing this time i started get work done but i would still want to do me and have a lot of fun. Got a girl and we dated for about 5 months. Come to find out she was cheating so i didnt want a girl no more i was done. But i did want to lose my V card that was a must cause all my bros was getting some. And i felt like it was my turn so i finally got some and once i got it i was hooked. Cut school for 3 days for a piece of action i was going through that phase. But i ended up getting caught and i got put on punishment for a while. Closing of the year and i found out i got promoted to high school here i come but i still had a middle school mentality F*** it though wings academy here i come.

Yead 16: Freshmen year of High school got to make the Varsity team. I was still skinny as hell though but a lot of promise in the coaches eye. The limits was off i can go beyond the sky. I joked around and didnt really take my grades serious. My family questioned my commitment they wondered if i was serious. But i came in at the age 15 so if i act a fool for a little while it was all good. Got in trouble though and missed the whole season as a freshmen. And at the end of the year my grades werent that good. So in the summer of 2013 i changed things up and had a plan it was become a better man or forever live in the hood.

Year 17: I was doing me. Thats right i was doing me. I went from a 68 to a 90 average. Started selling snacks in school so i can make some cash. Got a little stronger and started balling harder. But politics on the team was crazy so the coach tried to tell me to ball harder. The problems i had at home didnt really intefere with what i wanted to acoomplish. I didnt want a girl cause i figured spalding was my only girl. I only knew how to set picks and when to flash and when to curl. People realizing the change i made and all i wanted to do was make momma proud she brags a lot now she says im her one and only son out loud. I got to play AAU basketball and travel accross the country. Momma would make sure i went to each trip even if she had little money. The highlight of all those trips was being able to visit las vegas nevada.

Year 18: My junior year had its goods and bads. Still had good grades still was trying to get better at ball. But my hard work didnt prove anything cause my coach was saying nonscense how can i ever let another man ruin my confidence? But in the end i was able to receieve a championship ring. But i was still determined to get playtime and do my thing. So i focused on building myself both mentally and physically but building mentally was more important. I started reading more and more started watching videos that gave me knowledge. Started to become wise catching a girl that was physically and verbally abused by surprised. Put up with her mess so she can get the idea of a man at his best and forget about that lame she was dating and move on to the next. Things didnt go as plan but it was alright though. Cause i will still focus on doing me and achieving my goals. Even though some nights i would go hungry without a meal and months without TV because my mom was doing it all alone she couldnt pay the bill. But she made sure we were good cause her babies come first a lot of people dont know i been through the worst. But i stood strong and i stood tall. Cause i believe god would show me the way. So i kept my hopes high and kept on striving each day.

Year 19: Im a senior that finally got a chance to start for the team. I worked and grind hard. Straight determination but conflicts with coaches led to my team early elimination. Was chilling the whole year though. But still kept my grades good. Just wanted my diploma and enjoy my final days in Wings. Then move on to college and go do my thing. Closing of my senior year it was dope. I got to go to prom and hang with my bros and dance with my date. But in my head it was more then just dancing im such a sad case. Graduation day smiles and good vibes in the aroma got a couple of awards and the main prize my diploma. It was too real was i dreaming while in a coma? Summer time i worked and continue to build myself mentally and phyiscally. Trying to avoid the negatives and stay positive. Never wanna turn around and be the complete opposite. First year of college is approaching. My goal is to stay truetoself and not become to open. Focus on you, school is important.

Year 20: Freshmen year of college has been wild. Reality kicked in i realize i am no longer a child. Staying true to self is difficult when your around so much temptations. When its all said and done i can use a vacation. But i am now a better me better man. About 6'5 and 230 pounds of muscle. So you can try to knock me down but i wont even stumble yet alone fumble. Trying to crack me into pieces im never gonna crumble im ready for war im ready to rumble. I try to carry myself as soft natured a soft spoken man. Kind hearted. But im always a target ,by a crowd but my character is to powerful. My upbrinings is as humble as they come. They dont wanna be with me because they know i dont live the lifestyle of young wild and free im more of young, sincere and more into helping those in need. I wanna give a helping hands to those who reach out their arms to mines and tell them its going to be ok ,everything will be fine. Cause i know what it is like to feel left out i know what it is like to be stress. I know what it feels like to be insecure. I know what it is like to feel ashame you have no one you can adore. I wanna reach my full potential wanna be at my peak. A lot of people avoid me because they know they cant influence me. Im untouchable im unstoppable im a phenominal. This is a true story a humble nigga chronicles. I love the world i want whats best for everyone i want people to see beyond the glamour the temopary peace that involves the delusion of living a lifestyle that is the cover up for your pain. Cause i tried it once and it really didnt ease up my pain. So to sum up these 20 years of my life so far ima end it off like this. The people who i am about to forgive im this way because of you now listen to the heart of a man so merciful.