#or do we HYPHENATE IT IDK MAN ITS 3 AM !!!!!!

[abeterger]

Discord Icon we made for a man that has INVADED OUR BRAIN... Literally. It has been YEARS since we have THOUGHT of this series. Where did he come from. Girl I am possessed by a Ghost now. He has described his own canon to me that loosely follows the actual thing. Girl help. Girl. Can anyone hear me. Hello.

[runningfrom2am]

15 questions for 15 mutuals

Thanks sm for tagging me @sadfury omg i'm so excited to be included i feel like I'm a part of the community now what a treat!!

1. Are you named after anyone? Yes, two people actually! So my mom used to be an Olympics gymnastics coach overseas and she named me after one of her fave gymnasts :) then the other half of my name (i have a little hyphenated moment) is my grandma's middle name.

2. When was the last time you cried? yesterday lol, my best friend sent me a post on Instagram saying "our friendship has taught me what healthy love is" and i cried bc i love her so much and she deserves to be loved in a healthy way when she's faced so many struggles and it makes me really happy to know that I'm showing her the kind of love she deserves bc i try my best for her and I'm just so happy to know she appreciates that and that we have each other <3 ANYWAYS

3. Do you have kids? Nope! (Baby fever on the other hand... I have lots of that)

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? I don't really think so, not really my sense of humour.

5. What sports do you play/have you played? Oh man, p much everything. Soccer, softball, basketball, but volleyball will always hold a special place in my heart as my fave <3

6. What’s the first thing you notice about other people? Usually their vibes- I am huge on first impressions and if anything is slightly off I'll have trouble trusting you forever lol

7. Scary movies or happy endings? I love a good scary movie but I get so emotionally connected to every piece of media I consume that I need happy endings to stay sane

8. Any special talents? uhhh i don't really think so. maybe that i used to play violin and sing competitively? I won first place in a gala and got a 2k scholarship when I was 11 so apparently I was good at it

9. Where were you born? BC, Canada :)

10. What are your hobbies? probably doing makeup, but idk how much of a hobby it is at this point since I work at The Makeup Store (TM) so it's kinda just my job. in that case, i guess it would be drawing and writing

11. Do you have any pets? i have two cats that live at my parents house about 18 hours away- i miss them sm :(

12. How tall are you? 5'3/ 5'4 ish?

13. Fave subject in school? definitely history (I'm a history major lol so i may be biased)

14. Dream job? stay at home mom PLS its all i want in life

15. Eye colour? brown BUT i have heterochromia so they're diff shades of brown lol, one is more of a greeny hazel and the other is dark brown

no pressure tagging : @slut4drudy @madelynie @mutual-mendes bc I interact with you guys the most and love to get to know y'all better but pls feel free to ignore!! (also if you get added after this is posted dw ab it bc i’m scouring for my mutuals haha)

[kvothe-kingkiller]

wtf is Nephelai

aight so if you’ve been following me for a bit you probably have Noticed me posting about the Thing I am writing which is called Nephelai.

so I thought I’d give a lil primer on it just for uhhh fun? I guess?

anyways. if you want it in a sentence its ‘gays out-science the competition’

if you want a little bit More info than that 4-5 word (depending on ur opinions on hyphens) blurb, here u go. I will put her under the cut so it does not clutter up the dashes of anyone who isn’t into this kinda thing. I am shit at brevity so this in itself is kinda long.

Just as far as vague genre/feeling stuff goes, it’s a sci fi and it kinda combines adventure with slice of life? Idk man. Its very much character based and a lot of it is dialogue. If you’re looking for pretty, poetic writing you’re not gonna find it here, I tend to just get to the point lol. It deals with some pretty heavy/dark stuff but I will tell you upfront that the ending is happy. There’s too many dark edgy books that end sad. Plus we don’t have enough gay stories that end well. It’s also quite R rated, though more in the violence/sweary way than the sexy way. 

Given that it does deal with some Rough Shit (child abuse, racism, depression, etc.) I have a list of all the chapters and their possible triggers here. (its at the bottom of the post)  I just put in general things but if you have a specific/more obscure trigger I would be happy to inform you if/where it shows up.

Also, just so you know, this fucker is Long. its at 180+K and I still haven’t gotten all the chapters out yet. As well as that, this is essentially a first draft. I know its slow to start and choppy in some places but currently Im just trying to get it out, and uploading the chapters as I go gives me incentive to do that, cause otherwise I’d never even get the first draft done. Basically I write a chapter, check for spelling and grammar mistakes, miss most of them because grammar is my kryptonite, then upload it. I will be editing it a Lot in the future. 

anyways.

Setting

The story is set in our universe in The Future. How far in the future? don’t ask because I don’t know. I don’t want a 2001 space odyssey situation. A lot of the technological advancements would take wildly different times to achieve so I don’t want to put a number on it especially because we are very bad at predicting how fast things will advance. It is at Least 150 years I’d say.

Humans have moved on from earth and colonized new planets. They’re still on earth, it’s just that they’re also in other places. Namely Mars and proxima centauri B which has been renamed Salus to keep up with the whole roman god thing (she’s the goddess of safety). Both planets have colonies from multiple different countries. Not all countries, I mean lets be real lichtenstein isn’t colonizing mars anytime soon. The two american colonies on both planets are Lincoln (Mars) and Roosevelt (Salus). The way that people travel between these planets which are v far away is through electromagnetic radiation powered engines and the use of man made wormholes. Let’s ignore relativity and pretend that when you get close to the speed of light your timeline Doesn’t slow down because I don’t want to deal with that.

However, those planets are not where most of the book takes place. The main planet they are on is Nephelai (shocker I know.) It is a planet with a small research colony on it. Before the colony was put in place, it was a barren planet with some water that was in the zone for life, and just didn’t have any. They terraformed the fuck out of it so the atmosphere is the same as earths then installed a Beyersdorf around it. A beyersdorf is basically a time machine. Anything inside it will have it’s timeline sped up. Uses some black hole jiggery pokery I don’t want to explain because it would be... impossible. Anyways, they placed some organic molecules on it and sped it up until life evolved then slowed it back down to normal time to go in and observe. It has tall mountains and a surface that is so hot that water boils. So all of the life lives up in the clouds around the peaks. Most of it is adapted for life in the air. Such as: giant borzois with wings and living blimps that are basically guppies. Its very cold and people have to have specialized gear to go outside.

Plot

I don’t want to go too much into the plot because... thats why you Read books, but I’ll give my best summary. Basically the main character, Nadia, is getting her masters in evolutionary biology and has to do a year long research project. She goes with her professor, Brenley, to Nephelai to do the project. While there, the planet is invaded by uhhhh neo nazis (whoops) and they basically create a hostage situation that is very hard to get out of in order to get the third main, Krupin, a celebrity trash man, to work for them and make some very dangerous biological weapons that his company’s products would be able to produce. Obviously they don’t want this to happen so they have to come up with a plan to escape. However a lot of what happens is more based around the emotional toll it takes to be trapped for so long with no contact to the outside world and the uncertainty of whether they’re gonna make it out or not.

Characters

Alright so now the characters. As I said, this is very much character based. So its more about their interactions than anything else really. Again, lotta dialogue.

Nadia Waters

She is as said before, the main character. A 23 year old dork who is a complete nerd (they all are). She is bi and also a bit of a disaster, naturally. Quite smart but doesn’t think she is, very loyal to the friends she has, and can be a bit shy at first. She is also stupidly brave to the point where its a problem. Her need for adrenaline is Real and she does very stupid things to get it. She describes herself at one point as “just a grad student with a very poor sense of self preservation.” While she doesn’t go looking for fights she will definitely stand up for herself and others and throw down against people who could very easily kill her.

Elias Brenley

Nadia’s professor, also a dork, also a nerd. A lanky french weirdo with an obsession for physics and a love for 80s music. Very spontaneous and doesn’t give a shit about embarrassing himself. He has aspergers and even though he is very smart and can do some savant-like tricks, that isn’t the only aspect of his personality (what a novel idea...) He Also isn’t just a ‘robot’, he cares a lot about others, especially those who don’t mind his quirks. Also I took the expected subplot of ‘male professor gets with female student’ and threw it in the garbage where it belongs cause he’s gay as hell. He and Nadia do become very close but it is 100% platonic

Feliks Krupin

Also a nerd, also gay (seeing a pattern?). He is pretty much a public figure as he owns one of the biggest biotech companies out there, Vozmet. Kinda like if you took elon musk and removed the asshole-ness. Annoyingly perfect in every way, charming, pretty, v smart, all those. Struggles with a good amount of mental stuff that most of the world doesn’t know about and came from a pretty shitty background. Him and Brenley have some History though at the beginning of the story they haven’t seen each other in 9 years. Tends to be noble to a fault and will sacrifice himself for basically anyone. 

Some other characters who aren’t the main three:

Kristina: The president of Vozmet to Krupin’s CEO and his best friend. About five foot nothing and has the appropriate amount of concentrated rage. She’s not mean, she just doesn’t let anyone push her around and knows how to get what she wants. 

Heidi: One of the only sane ones. Was determined by others to be the leader of the hostages so to speak and has Way too much on her plate. Is often the one voice of sanity or the one to actually get the others to stay on task

James: Drinks that respect women juice all day every day. Very nice. Doesn’t deserve this situation. Has a bit of a thing for Nadia.

Scott: Is the other only sane one along with Heidi. The doctor of the group who almost acts as a father figure to all of them even though he’s not That much older than some of them.

Saoirse: Dumb irish lesbian. ‘Nuff said. 

Links

so if you like the sound of any of that you can find it on 

fictionpress: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18

or AO3 here

if u took the time to read this massive post, and/or read some, I luv u. *mwah*

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

When I worked at the BNSF boarding house a man in a black Stetson hat kept going in and asking me to turn on my GPS transmitter in my skin.

Year 2002.

Sometimes it turned on

He wasn't really tall.. But not super short either. He was at least my height drove a large truck a F150 older..

I always thought he was talking about a germin, one for road travel. Not in my skin.

But I remember he said sometimes it only blinked. Sometimes he yelled at me. Sometimes he was all excited and happy.

Sometimes he took in an electronic monitoring device, where he could see if it turned on and what he did to make it turn on. Those nights made me mad and would only turn on when he left.

He wanted to know why it blinked sometimes and sometimes was steady.

Blinking was active longer than steady.

I didn't talk to him often unless I thought he had a family in his truck. Usually I just kicked him out and explained he wasn't in a hotel open to the public but he was welcome to use the bathroom, phone or get a cup of coffee for the road.

A lot of times he would check the log ins and see who was there. Sometimes he would go in with others and pretend to be someone else. A lot of people did that from time to time. And they did a whole thing where they said they were new hires. They usually got caught by our management.

Sometimes the railroaders would jump them right in front of me and I would let them and just get rooms and make keys for the guys I recognized.

But i been remembering him the last two days...

He's an qE2 and he likes it. Cause military and law enforcement just went through BNSF training and did actual railroad work.

And we did get new hires but we got a trickle in and not 30 at once.

He went by Alonso like Gonzo for his long nose he said but he had a normal nose with a soft small end. Not like mine which is piggy or sharp and upturned. More like a bulb..

I think he was taller than he allowed me to think... I know he leaned over the counter a lot... I think he spread his legs to make himself look shorter.

But he wore a black velvet like cowboy hat all the time. Or a ball cap. And he looked to be Mexican or tanned with dark hair. And he would go in often enough and be all demanding a room all rude and annoying.

Sometimes he would laugh if I was nice all "you really think i have a family?!" Or he would act all worried like "what am i suppose to do?! We need to sleep!!"

I never gave him a room because we weren't a hotel. But he would try. I would offer alternatives even told him he could use the phone to call local hotels to see if they had space and he picked up the phone once and then slammed it down and stormed out.

One time he pretended to be maintenance with a few others. Then the maids came in all creeped out and then went and ran them off. He tried again like 4 more times and i told him no he had to wait till 6 am when the real mainten crew went in and he did get hired as a maintenance man for a minute. And he wore a wig and was there for a few days and was all talking shit how he didn't need the job and what did I expect,

I was all "dude Idk you and if you don't need a job then why are you here and im busy because i do"

And he was all "you dont really like me do you?"

And i was all "why the Hell would that matter?"

And he apparently locked our maintenance man in a closest of some sort who unlocked the door and let himself out and he was pissed and called the cops. Then we got a part time Abu maintenance man to help. Little Joe whom everyone loved and was super sweet. He would follow the maids around and help them all kinds and check in with me very often in the mornings and at night.

I worked at night. 7 pm to 7 am. 3 nights a week. I was 17 but thought i was 21.

I was the night manager. I checked in and out over 200 guys a night for the BNSF railroad and i memorized all their faces and names and i could put 4 in a room in less than 20 seconds, including making the key cards.

I had to wake up over 100 guys every night and tell them their trains for the day and when to be at work.

And deal with qE2 harassing me and my maids, the restaurant workers, the other hotel and trying to kill people in the road.

Smoke breaks and take care of myself and i was taking college courses when i first started working. And make coffee and make sure my maids were doing their jobs. Which they almost always did.

24 hour frenzy.

And this dude wanted the qE2 to rub his genitalia.

It would blink because I was just breathing when he walked in and i Didnt even notice him. Because I was repeating something else in my head or thinking about the next train or wondering if the guys got up and out of bed and got something to eat and to work and i didn't care about some random stranger. So all he did was pick up my heart beat.

It was steady because he pissed me off. Or because I actually heard what he was saying. And I was all "well if the battery is charged and its all plugged in and connected then you shouldn't have a problem connecting it"

It went off because it was none of his business where i was or when, i worked the same Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights from 7 pm to 7 am shift all the fucking time. Sometimes I switched with someone but it was rare. Like maybe 4 times the whole time i worked there.

So it wasn't that difficult to see my car outside parked right at the street every Thursday, Friday and Saturday night for 12 hours each day.

So why they had to try to suck the qE2 was cheek Idk But it was quite neurotic and pathetic and only made everyone notice him.

Because we had cameras. And whatever shit he used, the military and the law enforcement had. In 2002 GW was president and he didn't like his father. And i was a military brat with an extra large voice box. And several Air Force bases in the state of New Mexico. And I worked for the government (Beaurearu of Indian Affairs, BIA, as a federal employee) in 2000 so they knew i was in New Mexico and I was registered in a state public school, the University of New Mexico.

So it's not like no one knew where i was and when my GPS unit turned on for eQ2, it also turned on for the USA and they could see every single ass hole that followed me. So that's been 17 years.

Imagine the evidence against this psycho..

Because I always use the same social security number and birthday and name. And i didn't change my name when i got married, i just hyphenated it -- added his last name to mine.

So im always kept track of. For example I didn't go from Sabrina Psycho to Sabrina Killer. I went to Sabrina Psycho-Killer.

So I have amnesia and I'm naïve but I am not stupid.

But qE2 and her bag of idiots are.

[oflgtfol]

like idk remember that stupid werewolf wattpad story? yeah so i made it on a throwaway account where i didnt give any personal information, so nobody knew i was actually a girl. so ppl in the comments were like “idk if you’re a boy or a girl” and idk something about that just makes me feel kinda hehe :) especially cause that never happens irl

and also im kinda excited to get a doctorate because like hehe my official title will be Dr.? like i hate ms. because it feels juvenile, like all my childhood adults would refer to me as Miss [Last Name] it just feels like something you call a little girl when pretending for her sake that she’s important and mature when she’s really like, eight years old. and im fucking aro so im never gonna be Mrs. and also that has the opposite connotation, i feel like you associate that with an old lady . and frankly even if i wasn’t aro i dont really want an aspect of my identity to be determined by marital status (which is also why i’d never change my last name if i were to hypothetically get married, i couldn’t even hyphen it, because that name is ME, it’s part of me, it’s literally a part of my identity how do you just.. change it). SO IDK like Dr. is inherently gender neutral. yes there’s connotations to it as well because we live in a patriarchal society and science is ruled by men, especially in the upper levels like that with doctorates.. so you see someone named Dr. and probably think its a man, but ON ITS OWN its inherently gender neutral and something about that just kinda makes me go hehe :)

i mean i also like it though BECAUSE i am a .. woman.. getting it and like. for real this is one of the only times i actively refer to myself as a girl/woman, like im only motivated to do that when my experiences growing up afab dominate my point of view. like science is male-dominated! so something about it does make me go :) to think that i’ll be a woman going into a male-dominated field and getting a doctorate, especially because my specific field is one of the most male-dominated ones in science still. so its like YES im doing my own tiny little part to bring an end to it :) and then also with my family i am LITERALLY the only fucking girl. i have 3 cousins, all of whom are men, and then my brother, and so i’m not only A. the youngest but i’m also B. the only girl. and it really shaped my childhood in ways i dont like, in hindsight. i was very sheltered and i still have problems with being independent because i was so sheltered and was never allowed to do anything for myself. so to know that i did this MYSELF, on my OWN MERIT, and especially as the only girl? it feels good. i’ll be the first person in the family to get a ph.d and its like hehe im a Girl haha

so yeah basically all of that contribute as to why im so :) about eventually getting a ph.d, but a part of it definitely is the gender-neutrality. and like..... would that count as gender euphoria?? lol