#or get really sad when people find themselves replaceable because it's not possible imo

[fstbmp-a]

A friend inspired me with smth so I'm finally going to pop off and sound like the pretentious art college grad I secretly am

Writing canon characters is a farce. You're writing your character.

"Mirth what do you mean"

Thank you, strawman, allow me to elaborate. The second an author picks up a character, it is instantly their own. People put too much stake into fitting the mold, when really, you have ceased being a proper canon character the nanosecond you have initiated writing. You are writing your interpretation and, arguably, that cannot be considered the same.

You are INSPIRED. That's marvelous. That's fantastic, even. Your mind is fundamentally different from everyone else's, meaning this character, inspired by whatever take you enjoy most, is going to be irreplaceably unique. No matter what or who changes, that is a constant!

You're allowed to change and develop your character, unbound by whatever canon says or does. Roleplaying is a collaborative front and, frankly, you should be allowed to be as free with your muse as you wish. Get inspired by works, allow your characters to change and grow-- heck, if you get so inspired that it's so fucking different from canon it has to become an OC? THAT'S FUCKING INCREDIBLE!!! GO FOR IT!!!

You're a WRITER! Your work is irreplaceable because there will NEVER be another you and that's so freeing! You aren't held down by anything save yourself! If inspiration strikes, go for it! The entire purpose of this artform is to INSPIRE AND BE INSPIRED! So fuck around! Find out! That's the point! That's SICK AS FUCK!!!

Anyways, that's all! Have a good one, everybody!

[dabistits]

i was wondering, whats are ur thoughts on redemptive suffering? i have Thoughts but they mostly depend on context?

in general: ‘redemption’ and ‘suffering’ are two different things. one is not earned through the other. redemption comes through active efforts to better oneself and to make amends for the harm caused, while suffering is just a state you go through. suffering is, in itself, no more redemptive than feeling sad or feeling happy.

i think sometimes redemption means that you will suffer, in a way, but i don’t think suffering takes priority. like, yes, if you break someone’s belonging, you usually pay them back, or find them a replacement, or offer your time/energy to do something else to help them. while you end up technically inconveniencing yourself, that kind of ‘suffering’ is more just a byproduct of the process of ‘redemption,’ and it’s very different from the idea that “i’m redeemed if i (literally or not) self-flagellate, or if other people make me suffer.”

“redemption,” imo, is to make things right with the person who was hurt, and to make an effort not to repeat that harm against anyone.

narratively: i still pretty much agree with what i wrote above, but i’ll address what probably sounds contradictory. take rendeavor [sighs]. i want him to suffer, but even if he suffers i don’t think there’s inherently any redemption because he’s suffering. i just want him to suffer because he’s a POS who doesn’t deserve happiness, and it would bring me satisfaction to watch him suffer (which i understand is against the anti-carceral spirit, but anti-carceral or not, you’re not going to able to reasonably stamp out negative feelings toward someone this vile. also he’s fake). 

additionally, i know a lot of people want rendeavor to specifically lose the power and status he’s gained, but i also don’t think that in itself is redemptive suffering. stripping him of his gains as a hero shouldn’t be understood as “punishment” or wanting “suffering,” it should be understood as a rejection of elevating the accomplishments of abusers. it’s not a “punishment” against him, but a demonstration of this specific society or community’s values as being anti-abuse. to continue allowing a person like rendeavor to be idolized would be suggesting there are any number of things that can “outweigh” abuse, essentially saying that “the violence you committed is not as important as the things you’re publicly admired for.”

(i know there are abusers and anti-carceral activists who feel like this idea of stripping someone of his status, for example, is a punishment along the lines of the prison system, but i do not think a true anti-abuse politics can exist without a willingness to make abusers feel uncomfortable, because (semi-)public scrutiny and self-examination to this degree is never comfortable. a society which prioritizes the abuser’s feelings over making sure the abuser cannot abuse again is a society that enables abuse.)

on another level, in narratives i think there’s also the possibility of writing in “karmic justice.” a lot of us want to see karmic justice in a narrative because, i think, it gives us a sense of validation that we don’t really experience IRL: if a character can’t/hasn’t been publicly “called out,” then they can be struck down by an act of karma as a consequence for the harm they’ve caused. i personally have nothing against this kind of narrative, although i think it’s still more “redemptive” if the character is forced to confront their flaws, and to understand their flaws through such a confrontation and grow from it. i think this is more the case with katsuki, who was never “called out” for his behavior, but who is repeatedly forced into situations where he has to deal with his pride and his inferiority complex, which in part contributed to his bullying of izuku.

on a societal level: i don’t believe in redemptive suffering on a societal level, and i think it’s actively counterproductive and even dangerous. it irritates me when i come up against it irl. for example, people thinking that suffering is redemptive is how you get white ppl at the oscars making white ppl jokes, rather than substantively working to fix hollywood’s racism or putting their money where their mouth is on antiracist endeavors. they think submitting themselves and their white compatriots to momentary embarrassment by being the butt of a joke is somehow showing allyship, but it’s just corny and useless. see also audrey kobayashi talking about white guilt.

buying into redemptive suffering is also what led to the US’s horrible prison conditions. prisoners are thought of as needing to suffer during their sentences in order to “make up” for what they’ve done (or didn’t do!) which is how they’re deprived of basic necessities and luxuries (like… books?). because prisons are geared toward making prisoners suffer as a part of their “punishment,” they’re actually stripped of any opportunity to better themselves. this doesn’t mean that all prisoners are “good people” or that none of them deserve “consequences,” but neither am i okay with the government running hundreds of facilities devoted specifically to making people’s lives as horrible as possible.

on an individual level: i don’t have a lot of thoughts on ppl thinking of their own personal experiences in terms of redemptive suffering. i think it’s not my place to dictate or really have an opinion on. the only thing i will say is that i see it as potentially damaging if someone leans into it too much, because it runs the risk of “justifying” one’s own suffering as some sort of redemptive state, and i think that’s unhealthy (e.g. abuse victims thinking that they’ve “earned” their abuse somehow). it could easily lead to disordered thinking patterns.

[luckyladylily]

Steven Universe S5E25 Thoughts

This is going to be very spoilery, so stuff after the cut!

We only have one episode this time so there is not a ton to talk about but things moved quickly! The most interesting stuff was about the diamonds.

It doesn’t really seem like Blue and Yellow get what is going on with Steven/Pink. That is fine, I figured it would be some time before things got fully sorted out.

Blue and Yellow were softened greatly in this episode in a way I absolutely loved. They are still very much them but now we see them when they are calm. Blue is just really happy all the time, while Yellow is just exasperated at everything happening. Interesting to see that between the three of them they can restore a gem but not permanently.

Also interesting is that the attack was supposed to destroy, not corrupt. My bet is that was White’s doing. Frankly, I wonder if she decided that the tortured existence of corruption was a better punishment.

Another thing! Apparently the diamonds did not wait to confirm all their troops had evacuated before launching their attack. This is pretty damning as the crystal gems really gave no indication that they wanted to leave earth so they were not on any time table of when they needed to launch the attack. I again wonder if this was white’s doing. Frankly, Yellow and Blue seem much more practical than that.

I actually wonder if launching said attack was white’s idea/done at her insistence in the first place. 

Of all the things Steven Universe has explored the only thing we have never come up against is a character that cannot be redeemed. So far from what we have seen with white we might have hit that character. Like, what the fuck did she do to her pearl?

White diamond was clearly designed to be deeply unsettling. Not just frightening but wrong in a fundamental way. There has been a lot of talk about how gem society is kinda fucked up. No matter how happy the tone of the show is 99% of the time some of the stuff that happened is undeniably evil. It is hard to reconcile these things with a redemption arc. That doesn’t mean it can’t be done, but another possibility is that the SU crew can find a place to put the blame. Like no matter what it is clear both Blue and Yellow have a lot to make up for but if they were also controlled by a more powerful gem then that relieves some of what they need to answer for.

I think it is important to remember that the gems are alien, to some extent we cannot judge their actions by human morality metrics. For humans “I was following orders” is not really an excuse, but for gems, who were created in the most conformist society possible this side of the borg, the idea of not being a cog in the machine is completely alien. To put a point on it, gems are not people in the same way humans are. To quote Rose, “I am not a real person.” They are created to be a tool for use by the higher up gems, which are themselves tools for gems even higher up the pyramid. As far as we can tell that goes up to the diamonds, and then Pink, Blue, and Yellow are tools to White.

It took a “flawed” gem observing an alien world to even conceive of the idea that it was possible to not be a cog in the machine, and the general response gems take to having a free thought is “I should be immediately destroyed and replaced”. Because they are literally pieces of a larger machine. They know their purpose and self determination is not it. In a species like that it is a lot easier to shift blame upwards. It probably never even occurred to Yellow and Blue that they could be something besides puppets to White because the idea of self determination is alien.

I think this theory, to some extent, is borne out by what little we see of White diamond. She seems utterly uneffected by the fact that Pink is alive, at least in terms of anything like an emotional response. It feels much more like White is happy to see that, hey! That tool I like isn’t broken after all, how great!

It also would explain why the attack on the earth gems was necessary from Diamond’s point of view. The crystal gems were contained on earth and so she was going to let Pink figure it out, but when that plan broke down with Pink’s supposed shattering the true level of the threat was shown. Non conformity was spreading. This more than anything is what threatens gem society as it existed. Wiping out all the crystal gems and any gem that was on earth at the time makes complete sense - don’t let the poison spread. It is worth wiping out a colony to make sure. And to top it off, lets annihilate the planet with that ‘cluster’ idea we have been meaning to test.

Of course this is all conjecture and honestly unlikely. Steven Universe is a show about reconciliation and redemption, it seems unlikely that they would abandon that theme so late in the game. But it is worth considering.

Other things:

I wonder what a Yellow/blue fusion would be like? Big and green, probably. Also, a triple diamond fusion might be a possible solution to the corruption problem that doesn’t involve White.

I was really hoping to see Jasper! She is due for a redemption arc IMO. As important as she was to the story early on I bet she has a decently big part to play in this later portion.

Sad we didn’t get to see lapis and peridot again. I want to see if they get new outfits.

[understandingthevoices]

I appreciate the well thought out response! Lets do a quick survey- In regards to the narcs you have personally dealt with, what careers are they in? On to a heavier question- what type of person would be a good partner for the narc- not someone for the supply and fuel, but truly who would be compatible with the narc and help him/her get out of their narc behaviors? So not someone that would continue the supply but someone that can actually help and be in a fulfilling relationship with the narc?

no problem ! hmm so i haven’t dealt with many - at least not in a close enough proximity that would allow me to definitively diagnose them (usually there is something so off about them that i keep away; my close friends have always been nothing but highly empathetic and supportive) - but i do have my suspicions about a few people i know and have come in contact with, including the ex and the friend. the ex and one of my acquaintances i highly suspect is a narc are in med school (allow me to voice my disgust here… they really have no place treating patients…i wish med schools screened for lack of empathy and compassion tbh) and then the friend works in an investment firm in wall street – which imo is a much more suitable career for the narc types. i can’t see him even batting an eye at the immoral actions they probs have him do day after day; i genuinely don’t think he would have any trouble financially screwing some poor person over as long as it meant he was getting rewarded for it

but it’s actually a very interesting (albeit sad) reality that the traits that one associates with narcissism - a lack of empathy/compassion, an emphasis on self-aggrandizement, on showboating, on self-fulfillment, on selfishness - are very much the traits that allow individuals to prosper and get ahead in the professional/career world. the empaths, that are too concerned with other people’s feelings and how they might be affected - often fall far far behind as a result of their inherent nature to think about others… and this is true for all careers, including some you wouldn’t think about - like medicine, unfortunately

so now your next question – which hits pretty close to home, as you can imagine. since my ex was a narc i thought about this question often, especially when the breakup was more recent, and wondered if he was gonna treat his next supply different, if maybe she’d have some insider narc knowledge that i didn’t… but tbh from the outside i know its just the same old fake love that i’m so familiar with… gagi don’t think there really is a partner that would be good for the narc, and who the narc won’t just treat as supply/fuel. i know it may seem i’m biased here, but i’m trying my very best to be as rational as possible the thing is, the narc screens out people who he knows he can’t manipulate - people that have such a strong sense of self, are hella outspoken, won’t ever give him the benefit of the doubt, those that have heard about his antics from other people - so those people are not even in the running when the narc decides to get into a relationship. so the only people really left are the empaths, which of course act as the supply/fuel for the narc… and once they recognize the narcissistic abuse (this usually comes later - but once they recognize their needs aren’t being met and their emotions are being ignored), and subsequently become outspoken, stand up for themselves, demonstrate that they won’t be walked all over, etc, the narc initially tries to gaslight, then tries to manipulate the situation in his favor, but then finally realizes the situation is hopeless and leaves, only to be tied up with another empath supply a few weeks later…so for that reason, i can’t think of any kind of personality that would be a good partner for the narc, that would “help him get out of their narc behaviors” and even the notion of that very quote is dangerous —-thinking you can help a narc out of his behaviors is how the narc continues to keep his victim trapped; since his victims are empaths, they want to help him - it’s what they’ve done their whole life and been rewarded for - and so they think to themselves, oh maybe if i show him enough love, he’ll take off the mask and be actually loving with me… nOPE not how it worksinstead, the narc will continue to manipulate, by promising the empath he is gonna get better and is trying and only needs a bit more time and support, but now that the empath is helping them he’s SO CLOSE TO FINDING HIS TRUE SELF - but in reality he’s just continuing to string along the empath, knowing full well he has no desire or impulse to be better, work on himself, or take the necessary measures to become emotionally mature and healthy by going to therapy, etc

the bottom line is the narc doesn’t have the ability to emotionally connect to another human being, the idea of love as an emotion is so foreign to them… so they don’t care about others apart from what they do for him - and so because they only care what others do for them, they can easily replace themwhen they say “i love you” they really mean “i love to use you”soo when you’re with one, you’re just as replaceable as the cellphone they use everydayand of course, if your cellphone malfunctions, you just get a new onesame thing here if you leave or if you decide to not follow the script anymore, they’ll feel sad they lost a familiar supply but they won’t do anything about it - they won’t take responsibility for the relationship’s end or try to fix what was wrong…(even if you tell them exactly what it was and what they have to do to fix it) instead, they’ll just find a new supply who is more gullible, malleable, and subservient to their needs (what you were in the beginning) to take your place no harm no foul in their mindsand because they have no empathy they dont care about what you’re going thru as a result of their actions –

even when you google it, they say the only real therapy for narcissism is “talk therapy” - and if you’ve ever dealt with a narc, you know how that goes - THEY ARE MASTERS at social situations, especially ones that require them to talk/convince/persuade, and can manipulate any situation to their benefit, and i can definitely see them doing the same in therapy…so even if a narc dated a psychiatrist or a mental health aide, there just is no real way i can see that being/becoming healthy and fulfilling for the empath (the narc tho of course is fulfilled)the truth is despite the illusions of self-confidence and self-aggrandizement the narc is deeply insecure about who he is - and that’s why he puts on the social masks and has such a huge thirst for fuel/supply (which is really just validation) – it doesn’t even matter who that supply isand anyone that can see thru the mask and see the little insecure boy that has wanted for love and affirmation his whole life has gotta go he doesn’t care to fix the roots of insecurity… why would he? that would require him facing the truth & he’s as happy as a clam in his delusional world

in some of my other informal research, psychiatrists actually said to anyone in a relationship with a narcissist - don’t try to help them… just get out, you’ll just be wasting your precious time trying to help someone that doesn’t want to be helped. and if you don’t have that freedom - if there’s social or financial restrictions, for example -  you have to learn to manage your expectations. never expect the narc to be that loving, dutiful bf/husband/partner that you envisioned him being in the beginning - all of it was fake in an effort to lure you in and blind you to the real them – the person who he really is is the one you’re living with now - the selfish, controlling, mean one – and you have to learn to live with that. manage your expectations, and look for emotional fulfillment elsewhere, like in hobbies or friends, etc ngl i often felt like i was in a “loveless marriage” when i was with the narc… and i really did think i’m way too young to feel like this …where is my hollywood romance????? - but since i had nothing to compare it to and i was convinced he was the LOML who i was meant to be with i didn’t think it was as toxic as it ended up being

if i were to dig rly deep though, the only way to get a narc to cooperate and to think about your needs would be to present yourself as such a high-quality supply (supporting his selfcentered worldview, grandiose beliefs about himself, contributing to it even) and thereby foster dependence on you by the narc – thereby forcing the narc to meet your needs if he wants to continue getting his supply – something i tried doing but it was exhausting because he was only doing the VERY bare minimum and made me feel like a huge burden in his life as a resultplus i don’t think you should have to beg/manipulate someone into loving youit def worked for a while but it was just another twisted game in the end and not truly the “healthy and fulfilling relationship” i think you’re asking aboutit’s never gonna be fulfilling- just fuel-filling LOL (i had to do it lmaooo)

and that’s the realitynow if you have an avoidant attachment style and don’t require emotional fulfillment, then that’s a narc’s wet dream – they will never have to get better, and they’ll have the supply and fuel they need - but is that healthy and fulfilling for either person???? nah at that point they’re just enabling each other lmao

[child-of-azrael]

Mmmmmm see this is what happens when I let my feelings about something simmer like a stew, they get more brutal and painfully honest. 

Let's get one thing straight here, this isn't a su critical post. That type of thing just don't jive with me. If anything, this is me just pouring out my uncensored thoughts over these two episodes since I rewatched them with my little brother. And some of my thoughts on possibilities that might be with the show. And some other things as well.

You know, at first I drew Pink with that shit post scribble, 'cause I thought she'd be an annoying but irritating brat character, something I can understand with having my sibling. I figured that there was a good chance of her and Rose Quartz being the same thing, which I was hoping wouldn’t happen, if they had any decent writing skills whatsoever. (To be fair though, they literally don’t have writers. They use art to drive the show and tell the story. Because apparently drawings are needed to tell stories, not writing. Okay. Go tell that to any decent writer who doesn’t draw and see what they say. Seems like a massive middle finger to writing as a whole because they don’t respect writing as an actual art form whatsoever, or in fact they spent so much money on artists that they couldn’t afford actual writers who could actually fix plot holes and prevent writing themselves into a corner *cough* the cluster *cough*.) But finding out that she's forced her child into existence, knowingly abandoning her problems, shoving them onto a poor kid who doesn't deserve any of this, and caused almost the entire extinction of her species? All the deaths of her fellow brethren because she had a little shit fit and didn't agree with her sisters? That the actual war wasn’t for actual freedom for the lower classes of gems who were forced to work for the Diamonds, but because Pink had a shit fit over a single fucking planet?🤔 I mean shit, I already was disgusted with Rose Quartz for abandoning her child with another parent who is forced to live in a van by the crystal gems, but uh, she did all this because of a shit fit over a single planet? When in reality when the war was over her sisters would move onto another planet, even if she died? 🤔

And they claim that her siblings are bad LMAOOOO

Pearl ain't innocent either, that girl knew exactly what she was doing, and just to try and get into Pink's pants? 🤔  Even though it was clearly obvious she had zero interest in Pearl since she has dated nothing but human men? Even though Steven technically called her out in the mystery girl episode on still having an obsessive love interest with her, after all these years, and after Pink literally became her own damn child? 🤔 Sounds like we've got two manipulative and selfish assholes just using each other in my opinion.

And don't get me started on the possibility that they tossed a defective pearl aside and replaced her with this one. It's already bad enough that "disabled coded" gems are supposed to be the defective ones from what I've heard, but straight up tossing a pearl aside because she's "disabled?" If it's true that the defective gems are meant to be "disabled coded," do people not realize what message that sends to disabled kids watching that? That if they're disabled either mentally or physically, that they're gonna be tossed aside by society? "But Bow it's just a rumor, don't think about it too hard-" My dudes, I am really, really hoping that this rumor is false. But that was the first thing I thought of when I heard it. I don't pick up on things unless it pops out to me instantly, or it sticks to the back of my mind and crawls out to the front.

But, it could just be my abandonment issues and being abandoned by my own parent, being left with the similar mental fuckups poor Steven is being left with, but man, I am really noticing the same pattern of abandonment! Shit, the latest episode with Lapis fucking taking the barn for good and abandoning everybody again, just leaves me nothing with disgust for her. In fact, I would feel absolutely nothing for her at this point if she were to be shattered. I feel more empathy for Jasper, than I do for Lapis. And then the same thing of abandonment with Pink Diamond abandoning her child on purpose, leaving what's left of her army, and a single dad who's living in a van to raise the child? 🤔 

Sugar, I don't know who hurt you as a kid honey, but abandoning others when you have a responsibility to them as a friend/family member, especially friends and family, is never okay and never will be okay. Painting abandonment in a "uwu she's so sad we need to feel sorry for her so it's okay that she did this, let's just ignore it completely" light, or in a "she was just trying her best, we all make mistakes, it's okay uwu" light is bad, very, very bad. It tells people that it's okay to abandon family and friends, and that the repercussions that they suffer because of all of their selfishness is okay. That's not good. That's how you scar and fuck up people mentally for life, to the point of where they might have to seek therapy, if the amount of mental fuckups in the person is bad enough. That’s perhaps one of the worst messages you can ever send to an audience. 

Not to mention that the instances of men abandoning in the show, (Steven’s uncle just basically said “fuck it” and decided to try and ditch what was left of his family, again? With how Sour Cream’s dad ditched the son after he divorced his ex?) are portrayed in a negative light, but for some reason the women of the show abandoning are excused and from what I can recall, are said that it’s okay? It doesn’t matter what gender you are, abandoning isn’t okay. Wtf is going on here?? This is some fucked up shit imo???

See I told ya’ll that the longer I let thoughts simmer in my mind, the more brutally honest I get.

tlrd: i am an over analytical asshole and shouldn’t be looking into the meaning of a kid’s show yet here i am.