#or make mittens for myself or my sister or somebody

[chintzwife]

i bought a skein of merino wool yarn for an in-progress project but it turned out not to match the existing yarn SO now I have fancy schmancy dark red yarn! but what do i use it for????????????????

[yamithediaperdork]

Des checks in but she can’t check out (OC story staring my buddy sparkle)

Des Checks in, but she can't check out

Malcore stared at his sister in a mixture of shock and amusement, as they sat at his place having supper. It was a few days before Des's 18th birthday and since Malcore had to work the night of her birthday, he'd invited her over to his small one bedroom apartment for a few drinks and a birthday dinner. in fact they were on their 3rd glass of rye and coke when Des had told Malcore what it was she wanted for her birthday. shaking his head, he just reached over and took her drink away. "Ok, clearly I was wrong, you can't handle the good stuff and your cut off." he laughed. "malcorrrrre!" Des whined. "I'm not drunk!" "I think you are. Otherwise you wouldn't of asked me to commit you to a mental asylum for a week so you could be treated like a baby." Malcore said, sipping his own drink. "Stop being a butt head about this!I know what I want!" Des whined again and pouted. "And you told me I could have whatever I wanted! and this is what I want!" Malcore rolled his eyes, but let her have her glass back and finished off the last of his steak, thinking. "Ok Des, let's say I do decide to help you with this. first and foremost..you living with mom and dad still. I think their gonna notice you missing for a week." Malcore pointed out. "They actually won a cruise and so their gonna be gone for a whole month. they're gonna trust me to stay by myself at home...so they'll never know." Des said and smiled. "..So your rewarding their trust by...Ok ok..never mind. Secondly, How exactly am i suppose to get you locked up in the loony bin, and treated like a baby? I'm not exactly made of money you know." Malcore pointed out, gesturing to his tiny place. "Ooook sooo I found a place that does more.. temp placements and hold patients while the family gets things ready at home. it's not free but I got the money to cover for it! I've been saving up all year for this." Des said proudly, flashing her toothy grin. "..Ok, who's gonna look after Mom and dad's place while your in the nut house drooling on yourself in a strait jacket?" "A duh, YOU! You job is actually closer to their place AND they have AC and a satellite dish. all the channels you could want and you just have to mow the grass. Plus their fridge is stocked." "..I'll THINK about it, but one's thing for sure Des.." malcore said, smirking and taking a drink. "whats that?" She asked. "Either way you SHOULD be in the nut house. your bonkers." he teased.

two days after Des's birthday, Her and malcore saw they're parents off on their cruise and malcore promised to look after Des and make sure she stayed out of trouble. He still hadn't given her his answer yet but as they walked to their parents car he made her sit in the back seat 'where little babies belonged.' Pulling out of the parking lot she was a little disappointed as they started on the route back to the house. "Sooo uh.. guessing thats a no on my gift..huh?" she asked, sounding a little disappointed. "Des did you really think I'd just drive you up to the nut house and take you in like this and get you put in there for a week?" Malcore asked, looking in the rear view mirror and seeing her pout. "I..I dunno." she huffed. "Think about it Des..if you want them to believe you think your a big baby damage to yourself we have to dress you for the part first." malcore said and smirked. "Then..then you're gonna do it?!" Des squealed, and went to lunge forward to hug him and got caught by her seat belt. "Pffft, DORK! and yeah, but we're gonna have to sell it..so I hope you have some babyish outfits at home..and lots of diapers." "heh, you bet your butt I do!"

Malcore hadn't been sure what to expect when Des pulled out her little suitcase of goodies out from under her bed, but he knew it was going to be a mixture of cute and funny. and he wasn't disappointed. thick white disposables diapers, Disney print ones, and even some cloth diapers with a pair of locking plastic panties, with ruffles on the butt. aside from the diapers she had a few different t-shirts with phases on them like 'mommies widdle stinker' and 'daddies girl' and 'caution: full load'. finishing off his sisters little collection of kink, was a matching light pink baby booties and baby mittens, both of them lockable. "well I think we know what your mostly gonna be wearing to prove your helpless and a big baby." Malcore joked, nodding at all the lockable stuff. "you got a preference on which t-shirt you wear in?" he asked, then noticed a bottle of mad lax in one of the pockets. "huh, I thought they stopped making this stuff after it kept being used in so many pranks and so many kids were crapping their pants." "Oh heh, I uh, got the last bottle before it was pulled. only used it once or twice, the stuff is WAY too powerful." Des said sheepishly. "I was crapping myself with like NO control for a day and..a..half.." She trailed off as she noted the look on Malcore's face. "Noooo no no no no no!" she said, waving her hands back and forth. "oh come on, you wanna be put in a strait jacket and left to poop yourself, but some mad lax is too much for you? don't be such a baby." Malcore laughed and winked. "..See when you put it like that.." She said, giggling a little. "Andddd I dunno.. what shirt do you think will work best?" "Caution, full load for sure. now go and get a shower in and uh.. shave..you know.." Malcore said, suddenly blushing and looking uncomfortable. "Huh? why?" "Because well, do you think we'd let a big baby have big girl hair? sides it'll give you one last chance to think about whether or not you really want this." malcore said. Des blew a raspberry but marched off. "..the shit I do to make my little sister happy." the 20 year old grumbled. "I HEARD THAT!"

all squeaky clean, Des practically skipped her way back into her room, on cloud nine and eager to get dressed like the big baby she knew she was. no being a dumb stinky big girl for a whole week, with the added benefits of being helpless and she was sure there would be at least some humiliation involved too.. it was everything a total diaper dork big baby like her could hope for! coming into the room she saw Malcore had gotten the diapers all ready for her as well as the rest of her soon to be attire and as a nice little bonus, had prepped a sippy cup for the big baby ('hehehehe thats me!' she thought) to drink. "Last chance to bail and just I dunno, waddle around the house and I'll tease you." Malcore said, smirking. "..wait, that was a option?" asked asked, putting a blank look on her face. "..Uh..yeah of cou-" "Kidding! I knew that dork. it won't be the same!" Des said and burst out laughing. "..Somebody wants a spanking before her butt goes back in diapers huh?" Malcore said dryly. "Threaten ME with a good time!" "andddd my kink limit has been hit. come on doofus, get over here so big brother can get you back in your diapie wipies." Des giggled and walked over, dropping her towel and planting her butt on the thick terry cloth diaper and grinned like a fool as malcore powdered her and then pinned them nice and snug. "where's your bank card so I can pay for this whole little trip back to baby land for you?" He asked, tugging the t-shirt on her then holding out the plastic panties for her to step into. "oh, I just have it all in cash, it's in my night stand." Des said, holding onto Malcore as she stepped into the plastic pants. "And I think you mighta gone too thick with the diapers, I don't think the plastic panties are gon- URK!" Des was cut off as Malcore yanked up with the panties, lifting her up off her feet for a second and letting her weight force them over the thick cloth diapers, making them bludge and puff out, then locked them tight. He also gave her the mother of all diaper wedgies as he let her plop down onto her pampered butt. "You were saying?"  he asked. "Son of a bisket eating weevil, that HURT you butt!" she huffed. "Aww widdle baby Des can handle spanking but not a widdle wedgie?" he asked in a mocking baby tone. Des glared at him but then he reached down and tapped a finger on the end of her nose. "boop!" this, much like it had when they were 3 and 5, made her break into helpless giggles.

with the mittens and booties clicked into place, and Des using both hands to hold the sippy cup in place as she chugged, malcore lead the way out to the car, which was parked back in the garage. sure it could of been cute to make her waddle into the driveway like this but since they hadn't been able to find a skirt, let alone pants that could of covered her massive diapered ass malcore was glad he had parked inside. 'That's all we need, noisy ms.Johnson from across the street seeing Des in all her diaper dork glory.' with Des strapped into the backseat, and Malcore having all her monies in his wallet, they drove off to go and commit Des to a week of babyhood, though before they even reached the end of the block Malcore was rolling down the windows and glaring at the rear view mirror at a blushing Des. "I-I told you this stuff works quick.." She whined.

The Nurse at the front desk for oaks mental placement ward had seen a lot of things in her 3 years on the job. People who thought they were kitties, a guy who insisted her was Bill Clinton..and even one man who turned to go super sayain has his parents had dragged him in. Today she smelled the newest arrival far before she saw her, and raised a eyebrow at the sight of a young man leading in a girl dressed like a big baby, and judging from the funk in the air the blond girl was living up to the disclaimer on her t-shirt. "Malllcorrrrre, I wanna go pway wiff da other babies at da park!" the blond girl was whining. "Just hang on Des, Big brother needs to talk with the nice lady." the Brown haired man was saying, Malcore the nurse assumed. "Excuse me, who do I talk to about admitting my sister for a week?" he asked. "Whattt? nu admitting! wanna stay with ou!" the blond girl whined and started to have a full on fit, slapping at malcore and looking like a big stinky toddler. the nurse was forced to call two orderlies out, and then lead Malcore to go and talk with her boss.

Des put up the best fight she could, not that she wanted to get away, but she wanted to make sure they felt the need to restrain her as tight as possible for her stay. She also nipped at fingers and was rewarded with a big fat pacifier gag being forced in her mouth and strapped around her head. she suckled on it and fussed, till a hard swat on her squishy rear made her knees wobble, then she was dumped into a large medical crib, too high for her to climb out of even if she hadn't of been in a massive diaper that had been loaded to the brim. Getting to her knees she held onto the bar's with her mitten hands and glared at the two missing link's that were the orderlies. "Sheesh, this ones gonna be a handful, I can already tell." "no shit Sherlock. I don't care WHAT her brother says, I'm getting a strait jacket for her." the other one said, rubbing his eye where Des had scored a lucky hit. "heh, think spanking will be part of her treatment?" the first one asked, shaking his hand where Des had bitten his fingers. "because I could go for tanning her bratty backside." '..This..this might of been a mistake.' Des was realizing for the first time as she whined and backed away from the two, landing on her mushy back side and letting out a loud wet sounding fart. "Ugh! Christ! what did she eat, road killed skunk!?!"

In the head office Malcore was just finishing up the last of the paper work, it had been stupid easy to get Des signed in..it almost seemed like the guy running the place KNEW what was really going on but didn't mind as long as malcore could pay for Baby Des's stay. it had taken the better part of a hour and in that time Malcore had given over the key and given permission for them to get Des changed, in more ways then one and also given them free reign to use whatever treatments they deemed needed to keep her safe from harming herself, and even allowed corporal punishment if they felt it was warranted. One small change though from the original plan, unknown to Des though she would soon find out..was that Malcore hadn't just paid for one week like the little dork wanted. As it turned out the place hadn't cost as much as Des had assumed, and so, being the -kind- and loving big brother he was.. Malcore had signed her up for three weeks. Of course he'd be lying if he said the temptation to enjoy his parents house hadn't played a role in this, but he also figured after three weeks in baby bondage land Des would either be cured of her need for this darker side of her fetish..or hug him like crazy and thank him for making it real. he was ready to flip that coin. "Well, i think that about does it." Dr. Altez said, shaking Malcore's hand. "Would you like to see your sister before taking off to supervise the constitution of her new nursery.?" "of course, though i don't think she's gonna be very happy with me. I did after tell her we were going to the park." Malcore chuckled, getting up and leaving with the good doctor. "heh, well we all do what we must." Walking down the hallway Malcore was lead into the nursery, where a series of cribs were set up and there was a changing table. the carpeting was nice and plush and there was a animal print on the walls and from the looks of it, a toy chest just filled with nice soft toys that Des would be able to play with, if she could earn good girl time. Sitting in a crib by the back of the room however was Des who was mumbling before her paci gag. She'd been changed from her soiled padding of course, and was now in a thick wet plastic diaper and a light pink straitjacket that had her arms trapped at her sides. her booties had been replaced and -snk-, her hair had been brushed and put into pig tails. the paci gag had a cute little pink mouth guard on it and she was wearing a little bib..mostly because with all the grumbling and muffled protests she was trying to do she had a stream of drool going down her chin. rocking back and forth and clearly trying to get her arms free, Des cried out around the gag and tried to get up only to fall on her face , though the mattress of the crib was soft enough she didn't hurt herself. "would you like a moment alone with her to say bye bye?" The good doctor asked. "Yes please." malcore said. Once they were alone, Malcore walked over and leaned over the crib bars, down at Des. "Well dork, having fun yet?" malcore asked. Des glared at him and started to shake her head no. "ah ah ah, beeee honest~" Malcore scolded, wagging a finger. She stopped, then closed her eyes and nodded. "Good, I'm glad you having fun, I know this might seem a little scary at times, but I'm sure you'll get used it before your first week is up." malcore said. That got her attention and Des's eyes went wide, and she gave him a questioning look. "oh yeah, I decided since it was cheaper then we thought, to give you -THREE- weeks in baby land. I didn't think you'd mind, but on the off chance you do..well.. No one will care. I've already given consent for the paci gag to stay in save for when you're being feed, which will be bottle feeding of formula, and I've okayed them spanking you if you get out of line. I ALSO.." and malcore gave a evil little grin. "Told them how much you loooove sitting in poopie diapers..so asked that they let you sit in everyone for at least half a hour." at this Malcore reached in and patted Des's head, as she glared and shook, going red in the face and trying to yell at him. "Aww, no need to thank me, your my BABY sister after all, i just want you to be happy. and who knows, Maybe mom and dad will decide to extend their cruise and I'll pay out of my own pocket for you to stay awhile longer." Des was whimpering and whining now, shaking her head. "Des calm down, we both know you're going to enjoy the hell out of this, this is exactly what you wanted. I'm just giving it to you for longer then you wanted. I promise I'll come and visit you every couple of days." Malcore said and patted her head. Des whined and trying to pull away, but the head pats apparently felt nice and she relaxed. Maybe she relaxed a little too much as a wet bubbly fart escaped and the back of her diaper started to puff out. "heh, and that's my cue to leave. Bye bye baby des. Have fun~" Malcore coo'ed and walked away, stopping at the door. "and remember, big brother loves you~" he said with a wink, then walked out as Des did the only thing she could. and finished loading her diapies.

The end

[anoutlandishfanfic]

AnOutlandishChristmas - #2

Here’s a peek at Julia’s first Christmas on Fraser’s Ridge from A Child of the Stones!

The premise of the fic is that Faith (in this fic, Julia, named after Claire’s mother) survives infancy and is separated from Claire when going through the stones to the future, but is reunited with them in North Carolina in an interesting twist. You can read more from this fic here.

December 24th, 1767; Fraser’s Ridge, North Carolina, USA Julia.

“Ian,” I glared a hole into the back of his head, “why are we going in circles?”

My companion visibly flinched and picked up his pace instead of answering.

“I know these woods better than you think I do, Ian Murray.”

“Oh, I ken,” he commented without looking at me, his voice so much like his uncle’s that I wanted to scream.

Instead, I decided to throw something at him. I scooped up a hand full of snow, rapidly formed it into a rough ball and chucked it. The snowball collided wonderfully with the back of his head, crumbling into a powder that fell down the back of his bare neck. Dodging the volley he sent my way, I quickly rearmed myself. My tongue flew as fast as the snow, my frustration finding an outlet in our impromptu snowball fight.

“Do you?! You ken how annoying it is to be babied all the time? To be constantly watched like a prisoner who’s going to make a run for it if they turn their backs for five seconds? Or how about being kidnapped? You know what it’s like to be taken away from everything that’s familiar and shoved into a world where... nothing makes sense! And... and you can’t go back, no matter how hard you try?”

I plopped down into the snow with a huff, my arsenal exhausted. The snowballs I had flung mostly missed their mark, leaving Ian unscathed, but my words seemed to have struck a chord. He stared down at me with a strange look on his face.

“Aye, I do,” he lowered himself to sit cross legged in front of me.

“I do ken… all of it.”

All of it?

“You… you were kidnapped too?”

Ian nodded, looking away.

We were quiet as snowflakes fell around us, the only sound in the forest was the wind in the tree branches above our heads, each alone with our thoughts for many moments.

“How did you escape?”

“I didna,” Ian studied a red cardinal that had swooped down to perch on a nearby fallen log, “Uncle Jamie and Auntie Claire rescued me.”

“Oh,” I commented lamely.

What on earth do you say to that?

He peeked at me out of the corner of his eye when an awkward silence fell, “Ye dinna have to escape from them, ye ken. They would never hurt ye.”

“They won’t let me leave,” I stiffened.

“Aye, but the way I see it, ye’ve already left them once,” he shrugged. “I dinna think they could survive ye leavin’ again.”

“That wasn’t my fault!”

“Nae, it wasna,” he agreed, “but neither was it yer mam’s that ye were parted from her.”

“She isn’t my mum.”

Claire Randall Fraser was many things and I knew without a doubt that she was my birth mother, but that title belonged to the woman who’d raised me as her own flesh and blood, not to the one who had abandoned me to die alone in the rain on top of Craigh na Dun.

Ian raised a brow at my vehement outburst, “Oh, aye?”

“My mum is dead,” I sniffed, wiping my nose on the back of my mitten.

He nodded in understanding, ever the sympathetic Scot, and let silence fall once more.

Squirming, I asked my original question again, “So, um, why are we going in circles?”

He looked back at me with a smile and shook his head.

“Tis a surprise.”

“A surprise?” I echoed, this being the last thing I expected.

“Oh, aye,” Ian straightened his shoulders in pride over his role, “I’m to keep ye out of the cabin until Uncle gives the signal.”

“What’s the signal?”

His amused smile spread into a full out grin, “I canna tell ye, ‘tis a surprise.”

…

Claire.

“Ready, Sassenach?” Jamie moved towards the door, pausing for a moment at my side.

Looking past him, I assessed our valiant attempt at a Christmas tree. It had taken us most of the day to decorate it with the supplies Thomas brought us the night before, but it still wasn’t as perfect as I wanted it to be. I just prayed it would be enough to bring a smile to Julia’s face... which was something of a rare occurrence since her miraculous return seven weeks ago.

This would be our first Christmas with Julia in over twenty years and I wanted it to be the best that it could be. Yet, even as my heart rejoiced in this celebration, it ached with the intensity of my yearning for Bree. The weight of my desire to hold her close, to gather both of my daughters into my arms at the same time, was crushing me.

“Mo chridhe,” Jamie slid one hand around my waist as the other lifted my chin, pulling my gaze up to meet his. I found my pain mirrored in his eyes, a shared ache for the daughter we held dear.

“They are safe and well,” he crooned as his lips brushed against mine.

I knew this, I truly did, but was I selfish to want them safe, well, and with me?

Jamie smiled, his fingers playing with the curls at the nape of my neck, “Nae, Sassenach, ‘tisna selfish. Ye’re a wonderful mother. I ken it, I’ve watched ye. Every mother wishes her bairns were at her side…” his voice trailed off as his eyes grew moist, “and every father too.”

…

Julia.

“Why do I have to close my eyes?”

Ian turned away from the door to the cabin, his hand poised to knock and announce our presence. He narrowed his eyes, “For the last time, I dinna ken. Auntie Claire told me to have ye do so and tell ye ‘tis for the surprise.”

“What’s the surprise?”

“I dinna ken!” He grabbed my hands and placed them over my eyes, “Just cover yer eyes, ye’ll see in a moment.”

“But how can I see it with my eyes covered?”

Ian let out a holler of exasperation as he pounded on the door.

I heard it open and he took hold of my shoulders, shoving me over the threshold. Warm hands replaced Ian’s cold ones as Da’s voice floated above me, his smile evident even though I couldn’t see it.

“Buidheachas, mo ghille.”

…

Claire.

“Can I look now?” the lilt of Julia’s question in Gaelic was muffled slightly by her hands being in front of her face, as well as the bulk of her father standing between us. I watched Jamie’s shoulders shake in silent laughter before he looked over her shoulder to grin at me.

I nodded and he stepped aside, “Aye, ye can, a leannain.”

Julia lowered her hands and gasped at the sight of the tree. My own breath caught in my throat as her face was completely transformed, the lines of grief and internalized trauma melted away to reveal pure, innocent delight.

She was two years old again...

My happy and contented child once more.

…

I lay in the dark and tried to figure out what it was that had woke me.

The usual sounds of the cabin surrounded me and I could hear Jamie and Ian’s deep, even breathing. A delicate sniff broke the reverent quiet, telling me Julia was no longer asleep. Lifting myself up onto one elbow, I noticed the copper gleam of her hair from the glow of the fireplace. I saw her wipe her face on the sleeve of her nightgown and I knew in an instant that I wouldn’t be going back to sleep anytime soon.

She caught my movement from the corner of her eye, and turned to apologize in a whisper, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

My heart broke once again at the knowledge that she’d rather cry alone in the dark than wake me to comfort her. I rose from my bed, scooping Julia’s quilt up from her pallet on my way past, and sat next to her in silence after draping it around her shoulders.

“You’re different than what I thought you’d be, you know.”

This surprised me and I tried to study her face in the darkness, searching for the little girl I knew within the stranger beside me, and found nothing but empty shadows.

“I thought that only a crazy person would leave their kid like that, somebody who didn’t know how to love me the way I needed to be loved. For my whole life, I believed that you chose to leave me how you did,” her voice became strained, a new wave of tears evident, “but you didn’t.”

“You didn’t leave me and you did love me and you had a whole life with… with my sister, and not with me!”

Leaning forward, I took her into my arms and onto my lap, cradling her head against my chest as she cried great hiccuping sobs, just as I had when she was small. She clung to me, pulling herself closer instead pushing away for the first time since her arrival. We cried together, there on the cold floor, sharing tears of regret and healing, of loss and discovery, and, most of all...

tears of unending love.

[youupmag]

1 poem by Shelby Cook

PRETTIEST STAR

every time I feel love I think Christ – I am going to be crucified – so I die I feel like a whole life covered in mosquito bites – for the rest of the night - everybody seemed sorry that the world kept on turning just fine– I am not green I am just somebody’s bike– a real brick like true goldfish – weasels make me think about organomics – and the fucking ocean – and the artfulness of being one – with your environment – now is that so fucking stupid – when your best friend’s bedroom smells like bengay and sadness – the truly unlucky color of fabric – I do not want to be white anymore waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh - I am happy I at least got to look at your glasses – do not call me a duck when I am a poctus – a sleeping germ on your infinite flaccid – yes congratulations – what are you fucking doing for living – so much crying in your room full of furniture – this is the end of the rest of your future – dick stain – I, the most important person on this bus – the sun dappled nothing – a bulbous, aqua tankard – wash your hair with laundry detergent – every store bought mitten that arrives with a history of abject misery – so you could chew your sandwich without forgetting where you’d be when the time came to digest it – my boy’s a quarterback – his vast collection of artificial penises – a real orange orange – wrapped tight in a ladies’ jacket – trying to head to someplace exotic –like Portland – what is your favorite hairbrush and where did you put it – is your hair really that flat by accident – the coolest part about being a person –the part where everyone thinks that -I have forgotten first hand the sun snowing on my hat – I like to pretend I am anthrax - love is so stupid but so is your dad – but then so like come on - is pokemon your mom –I have never been in love but you do believe I huz – this butterfingered fuckup - I want to step in dog shit and not worry about it – I want to be alone at 3am because it feels bad – I want to be with you all of the time because I feel better like that –please form an emotional callus -  scrunchies yes the only way to get in season – he had grown forceful but not any more attractive – I walked into the bathroom as if it were a clubhouse filled with faithful friends – bypassing the sing alongs and moving straight into a position of judgment – I still had legs then and I used them to kick his ass – the beauty of art school that as long as you can pay no one cares about your talent – trialed episodes of unemployment – working is an exercise in just nodding your head – all of that bread man I will give you head – a migraine one day –you are so good at writing your name -  they fly live doves on Adderall over garbage cans and call it getting two sisters pregnant – like a toddler triumphant and bearded -  the most pleasant part of the program – you are doing quite well now during your death – I love your cross man where did you get it – nobody actually likes your boyfriend -  I hate talking about what I’m doing because I’m never doing anything – I walk past that building and feel motivated – but I don’t do anything about it – drink from the last drop of your conscience – super serious friendship consequence – I love you and your dumb bed – it makes me feel like acid probably feels – is this getting heavy handed yet – I love gum because it gives me purpose – your eyes make shit for you – the placidness of okcupid – everyone knows I am being a dick- I am feeling quite good about this – photograph the part of your ass with the least amount of hair on it – fucking freshmen – I love it when you give me attention keep doing it – why do you think I showed up to this – I want to be somebody’s parent but just for 4 seconds – the real reason your kid turned to Netflix – your braces look bad syd go back to your dentist – demand your dad make you mad – doug is a name and so is brad I guess – your nipples are chapped and I’m sad about it -  that bald spot is just your part shut up – groom your dog more mom – a mop on the floor that grows attached to your arm – my white little ball of nothing – this greyness is the only part of my realness – I keep buying clothes that don’t look good on me – I keep eating less to be more happy- not everything has to be about being crazy – not everything has to always feel bad always – why do you like me – how do I make you keep liking me - the balance of behavior forgets enlightment – existentialism is stupid – I am a symbol of idle resentment – bitter blank cards from the supermarket – that car that your cousin had – I love you but I never need to see you again – good teeth must mean I am free – no space means no body - I carried a cage with me into the sea and it got soggy –  a busy street of everybody’s grandparents - being self aware must mean I’m a good person – I have ashes on my hands because it’s Wednesday – and I would like to kill you in a very passive way –I am eating so  much more cheese than yesterday - a political part of your perfect institution – the real reason I am still feeling bad – I gave up my head to be more self conscious - I am looking for cues so that somebody gets it – corporations are bad yeah – I am also bad – please stop following me on instagram – I don’t like the fact that you are all going on without it – all of my teachers in this part of Brooklyn –I am not special but I think I’m super special - everyone loves your 40 page story – I wish that you dudes would stop talking over me – I get really uncomfortable when people are nice to me- insecure dweeb beeb – Justin bieber makes me see – beam socks are sucking on your clit like you’re down for it – four more years of this nothingness – this bullshit on the back of your head – your lovely little sundress – I took it from your bleacher back pocket – the only other red head I’ve met – I like you because gold is innumberable – I like your books I guess – trust is the flattest part of an ass – a good dosage of baking percentage – dashing good looks for someone without credit – mold play is yum tho – this is my year I guess – or next year – I have made myself superstitious – everything is conscious no matter what it is and the lights are always on in my apartment and I like that you are serious but I – just want to – forget it

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