#or maybe the guy stuck wood behind the removed drywall to support the piece when it was replaced

[pancakeke]

finally I can share a visual of my "haunted wall". I'm too afraid to use anything other than those picture frame hangers that secure with tiny nails on this thing :(

this is why I don't "just use a magnet" to find studs. there is some kinda shit going on in there and I doubt the guy who used to own this house was smart enough to know what a stud guard is.

btw when I pick the stud finder up it's because I hit a ridge where it appears a section of drywall has been cut away and then replaced. there's a similar ridge 18 inches below running parallel to it. so I know the previous owner was messing around here.

btw #2 if you know stuff and can explain what's going on here to me I'm begging you to respond. there are a couple other weird spots in this wall within about 3 feet of here too.

[kylorengarbagedump]

Little Bird: Chapter 15

Read on AO3. Part 14 here. Part 16 here.

Summary: Rey, Finn, and Poe make you an offer. Will you refuse? Well, who knows, this isn't actually the Godfather, so...

Words: 2500

Warnings: Handmaid’s Tale AU

Characters:  Kylo Ren x Handmaid!Reader

A/N: *slaps this on tumblr and runs away*

I've actually had this half-way written for like, months, and TROS has me feeling inspired and desperate to repair my own heart, so here y'all go! Look at me, guys. I have not only included OTHER characters, I have plot. Wow. Amazing.

Thank you so much for anyone who is still sticking around for this story. I love y'all so much. <3

Something about being smuggled from the streets to a garage made your situation seem sneakier. Poe parked the van, and Finn and Rey nodded to each other before hopping out, leaving you alone with a strange man who wasn’t a Commander for the first time in years. Anxiety crept into your chest. Though you hadn’t bought into the conditioning at the Red Center, any amount of propaganda was capable of poisoning your brain.

“They’re going to run perimeter checks,” said Poe. “Let me take you to where you’ll be staying. Rey will catch up in a second.”

As nonchalantly as possible, you shrugged. “Okay,” you replied, as if touring the home of a double-agent Angel was something you’d done a thousand times before.

Poe opened your door, hand out to help you out of the van. Your instinct was to take it, but your brain resisted, conscious of your ungloved hands, balking at the thought of making contact with his skin. Swallowing, you surveyed the distance between the van and the floor, and shook your head.

“Uh, I’m okay, thank you.”

He held his hands up. “Of course. Happens all the time.”

Happens all the time. The fact that you’d heard a phrase like this twice now hadn’t bolstered your confidence. You thought, perhaps, you might have been different from the other Handmaids, hoped that maybe your connection with your Commander had been based in something other than abject misery and desperation. Why you’d hoped that to begin with, you weren’t sure. What did it matter if you and Kylo Ren had an actual connection? He was the reason you were trapped in a van, terrified to take a helping hand.

Frowning, you reached out, snatched Poe’s wrist, and leapt out of the van, stumbling as you hit the ground. He steadied you, looking at you with a raised brow.

“All right then.” He grinned.

Poe led you through the garage, into the house. You gathered that Kylo Ren’s high rank within Gilead had afforded you a large, lavish imprisonment--an Angel’s home by comparison was by no means modest, but lacked the suffocating grandeur of a mansion. The ceilings were of normal height, the walls made of drywall rather than varnished wood, and there was a noticeable absence of opulent furnishings as you moved through the rooms. Most interesting to you, however, was that you and Poe seemed to be the only ones there.

“Are there other people here?” you asked. “Other, um, Handmaids?”

Poe looked aghast. “Of course there are,” he said, “I’ll take you there immediately if you want. I just figured you’d want some idea of where you were staying before I took you to the Handmaid area. Rey is going to take you around the whole property, like she said.”

“Right.” Embarrassment heated your face. “No, I just meant… I don’t know.” The operation had been so risky. There was no way Ren wouldn’t notice your absence. There was no way they wouldn’t narrow down what had happened. “Aren’t you guys looked at, taking people from the street like this?”

“Ah,” he said. “Good question. Most Handmaids come to us, actually.” His smile was so dashing that it disarmed you. “This is really the first time we’ve taken this level of risk--but it was necessary. And worth it.”

“Worth it?”

“We always want to get everyone out as safely as possible. But your case is different. Kylo Ren’s Handmaids tend to have a tighter leash. So, to get his Handmaid to our base is a risk worth taking.”

You looked to the floor. Did being Kylo Ren’s Handmaid change your value? You remembered what Ofarmitage had said--how she’d been pestered for awhile to leave. But you couldn’t imagine why you might be more prized. Ren had provided you with all of zero useful information. Unless, of course, they wanted to know about the size of his dick, or how his cum tasted (massive and tangy, respectively).

“Come with me,” Poe said. You stepped to follow him.

“Poe!”

It was Rey’s voice. You spun to meet her, heart skipping. At some point, your reactions had to stop being so exaggerated--right? She was with Finn, the both of them crossing through the house at a quick clip. She’d removed most of her Handmaid uniform and was dressed in a loose white blouse, grey trousers, and half-calf black boots--the sight was baffling to you. Not only was a woman wearing pants, she wasn’t even acting self-conscious about it. A few years ago, that would’ve been you. You wanted to drown your embarrassment in rage.

“That was fast,” Poe said. “I was just about to show her to the Handmaid area.”

Rey waved the suggestion off. “Let’s just talk to her now.”

Poe looked between Finn and Rey. “Now? Right now?”

“Why not?” Rey beamed. “It won’t take too long, I’m sure.” She urged the three of you forward, moving into the home.

“I guess that’s what we’re doing now,” Poe said.

Finn shrugged. “I mean, I’m glad you know, because I didn’t know.”

“Really? Me neither.”

“So weird how--”

“All right, guys, relax.” Rey looked over her shoulder, winking at you.

You offered her a strained smile. The fact that they wanted to talk to you laid a rock in your chest. It seemed ominous--you were just arriving, but they wanted to all meet with you before you could even settle in. That, combined with Poe’s talk of your value--surely he hadn’t meant it that way, but even still. You wondered if there would be a world where your value could be determined by you alone, rather than by virtue of your uterus, or who was trying to fill it with his seed.

Rey led you through the porcelain-and-quartz themed kitchen, and, with surprising strength, pushed a large wooden pantry aside, revealing a seamed wall. Having completed that, she wedged her fingers into the seams, and the piece of wall popped forward--she slid her fingers along the ridge, unhitching a lock, and the door eased back, slipping behind the pantry. You stood, speechless, peeking at Finn and Poe, who were busy sniping with each other about something. It looked like Finn was winning.

The opening behind the pantry led straight to a set of stairs. Rey beckoned Finn and Poe first, and then you. You went to step, but were stalled by flashes of memory--your arrest, handcuffs, the Red Center--and your muscles locked in panic. It took a moment of flicking between Rey’s earnest face and the set of descending steps in front of you before you were able to find a breath and push forward.

You crept down, arms pinned to your sides. The width was only enough for a single person, the walls covered in black egg crates, the only illumination coming from battery-powered tap lights stuck near the sloped ceilings. The unvarnished steps were cushioned with patches of carpet and padding, silencing your movement. Behind you, Rey yanked the pantry back to cover the opening, and then tugged the door shut, clinking metal as she secured it.

Finn and Poe had already reached the bottom, but you were hesitant, peering into the room in front of you, hands gripping at the banister-less walls for support. The air had grown cold and dry. You landed in a small, sparsely furnished room--this, too, was plastered in egg crates, discarded carpet, and battery tap lights. Against one wall was a threadbare linen couch, at its sides a few mismatched upholstered chairs. At the center of this set-up was a table smothered with discarded papers, magazine clippings, books with torn pages. In another corner sat a tiny desk with a wireless radio, a headset, and some scribbled notations and a pen at its side. Poe crossed to it, glancing over the writing. You were surprised he could read it. He held up a finger and placed the headset on, tuning the radio, eyes narrowing. There was silence for a moment, Finn and Rey exchanging looks. Poe scrawled something.

“Anything?” said Rey.

He took the headset off, shook his head. “No. If anyone’s noticed she’s gone, they haven’t reported it yet.”

“Good,” Finn said. “We have some time until Ren starts looking for her.”

Your heart sunk. “What?”

Rey’s hand was at your back, and she guided you toward the seating area. “Sit down with us.”

Her voice entered your ears as if your head had been thrust in gelatin. It was as if the floor had disintegrated below your feet, and you were falling out of your skin, your insides plummeting into nothingness, somewhere, leaving the hollow husk of your body behind.

Ren starts looking for her? Looking for her? Ren?

Ren?

There must have been a brief blackout in your brain--when you remembered to breathe, you were seated on the couch, Rey next to you, Finn and Poe across in the chairs. Up close, you could see how tattered the furniture was, the scuff marks on the wood. You wondered where it had come from, who it had belonged to before Gilead. Strange, how you’d become just like the furniture in a few short years--you were wondering who you belonged to, now, too.

“There’s something we want to ask you about,” Rey said, “and it is going to sound scary.”

You blinked, mouth dry.

Finn leaned forward. “We want you to become a part of the Resistance. We want you to spy on Commander Kylo Ren.”

Before you could even react, Rey’s hand was on your arm. “We know it’s a lot to ask. And we’ll explain what we want you to do before you do it.”

“Oh… kay.” You searched each of them to try and gauge your response. “I… I thought I was coming here to escape. To get out.”

“And you are,” said Poe, hands raised in deference. “If you don’t want to do this, you don’t have to. We’ll get you across the border.”

You frowned. “Then that’s what I want,” you said. “I don’t want to be a spy.”

Rey offered an understanding smile. “It’s a terrifying idea, I know,” she said. “But I promise we will keep you safe.”

There was a pause as you waited for her to continue, but she didn’t. “How?”

She looked between Finn and Poe, drawing a long breath. “We’d be monitoring you. It would be like you go back to Kylo Ren and become his Handmaid, as usual. There’s specific data we’d want you to collect.”

You blinked. “Specific data?”

“We’re looking for evidence of corruption in the regime at the level that Ren is at,” Finn said. “There’s an arm of our organization looking to bring Gilead down from the inside. Part of that is getting proof of how hypocritical and criminal it all is.”

More flashes of memory--Ren’s hand at your neck, the heat of his body crushing yours, the stretch of his cock in your cunt. Your face burned. “Wouldn’t have to look very hard,” you mumbled.

“That’s great, though!” Rey grinned. “It reduces the risk for everyone involved if you already know what to look for.”

“And you guys have done this before?”

Finn made a so-so motion with his hand. “Kind of.”

“Not really,” said Poe.

“Come on, man,” Finn said, “she’s obviously scared.”

“Well, we can’t lie,” Poe replied. He looked at you. “You are the first high-ranking Handmaid we’ve been able to rescue. We’re familiar with Ren, though--there’s no doubt that once he finds out you’re missing, he’s going to raze everything within a one-hundred mile radius to find you.”

You swallowed. Sounds about right.

“We’d make it so he’s able to reclaim you--nonviolently--and every few days, we’d follow-up with you on the things we would be looking for.”

“You’d have to get on his good side,” Finn said. “See what all you can get out of him.”

You snorted. You had no idea how you’d do that. So far, the only you’d been able to get out of him was semen--but you had managed to get it in multiple orifices, so maybe that would count for something.

“Once you complete the mission, we’ll get you out of here,” Rey said, gripping your shoulder.

You shifted away, dread dripping down your spine. “I didn’t say I’d do it.”

The thought of returning to Kylo Ren, to that tiny room, to your gloves and wings and bed and Johana and Emma and Rose and, God, him and his enraging desire to know you but only at dick’s length--it brought a flush of hot shame to your cheeks. You’d just barely sampled freedom. It seemed unfair to deprive you of the meal.

“Can’t you guys just get me out of here?”

Poe nodded. “We can. We have a transport coming in a few days.” His face grew severe. “But remember, in your place, there will be another Handmaid, one who has no knowledge of us, one who has no familiarity with how he works. This is a chance you have to make a difference.” His hand tightened into a fist. “To bring him down.”

“Well…” You fanned yourself, somehow sweating in the chilly basement. “I… I just, I don’t want to. I don’t want to go back there. I want to get out. I want to sleep in a bed I can call my own. I want to be able to talk to men and not feel embarrassed. I want to fucking look at the birds outside of my window if I want and feel as free as they are.” You looked between the three of them. “I know you guys were hoping that I’d help you, or whatever, and that’s why you even bothered to get me in the first place--”

“No, no!” Rey gasped.

“--but I don’t want to help the Resistance. I just want to leave. I want to get out and forget I ever met anyone in the past three years of my life and start over. I want to move on!” You hadn’t realized until you stopped talking that you were crying.

Rey rubbed your back, and you shook your head, wiping your face.

“I’m sorry,” you said. “I can’t do it.” A sniffle escaped. “I can’t.”

“It’s okay,” Rey said. “You’re allowed to say no.”

The reassurance seemed so ludicrous, you couldn’t help it: you laughed. “I guess I am, now, yeah.”

Poe smiled, slapping his knees. “That’s that, then!” There was no hint of resentment in his voice. “You want Rey to show you where you’ll be staying for the next few nights?”

You looked between them--they were all smiling at you. They meant it. So you wiped your hands on your skirts. And you nodded.