#or the obsessive creepy dude after their secret sibling

[valkerymillenia]

Umbrella Academy

season 2, episode 3

Next!

Again, live blogging and posting my reactions all in one post to avoid spamming.

This post got accidentally deleted yesterday so I had to write or all again (twice!)

Oh, starting with a Klaus and Ben 1960 flashback! Ah, Klaus... You have no shame. Let my baby eat though!

Lol "Chanel". Boy knows his fashion, of course.

And there's Boney M playing!

You can practically read his mind when he sees that diamond. Sugar momma alert! 😆

Damn, loving the black outfit, very sexy.

LEVITATING KLAUS WAS BEN LIFTING HIM UP! Seems that one crack theory on the fandom was right 🤣

Ben's face though 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

These two are the best combo. I love them.

61, Baja, NM. Traveling hippie commune.

Is Klaus still sober? He refuses a joint here so I'm inclined to believe that he is but he isn't acting very sober... Then again that might be an act, just him embracing the hippy life.

CALLED IT!!! BEN FALLS IN LOVE, DOESN'T HE?! I FUCKING CALLED IT IN EP 1!

62, Varanasi, India. The river scene from the promos. Yeah, I called this one too. Klaus is already looking seriously uncomfortable and realizing this is getting out of hand.

63, San Francisco. Poor Klaus is practically suffocating under all the touching and nobody respects his space or his words.

Destiny's Children! 🤣 You are such a 90s kid, Klaus.

Run away, Klaus! Run! Escape the crazies.

Ok, let me paused to write out a thought...

So a lot of people were worried about the cult thing and Klaus's intentions but it's clear he had no malicious intentions at all. He charmed and impressed some people for survival purposes and thrived, he enjoyed the love and attention at first and the cult just grew around around him organically whether he liked it or not, more a hippy cult of personality then a religious sect, but at some point he saw that it had gone too far, the pressure and expectation became too much and he realized he'd bitten more than he can chew.

It's actually rather sad how he just wants to escape but the cultists objectify him to all hell, he has no privacy or personal space. The problem with Klaus is that he doesn't do anything mildly, he always goes too big until he's drowning. Boy is already self-sabotaging and I'm sure he's going to start self-destructing very soon as well.

End of thought. Clicking play again.

Ouch! Poor Diego 😰 Lila, that is not how you cauterize a stab wound...

"what happened?" -your dear daddy stabbed you, dude.

Did she really need to strip him so thoroughly? 😏 Yes, yes, she did.

Well, at least she's not sewing you up, Diego. No needles, yay.

"oh, he isn't dead." "Disappointed?" "To see you? Always 😊" -did I mention I love Five's sass? I did? Well, I do.

Old family friend 😆

"you don't untie him?" "Was I supposed to?" Oh Lila, you're adorable, poor Elliot.

Vanya, that is suspicious as hell, just mow down that weirdo!

Ok, good instincts but too slow.

Run, girl, run!

Got to admit, these Swedes are good battle strategy, they are surrounding her surprisingly well.

Is this were the badass Vanya promo was from? Show me badass Vanya, please.

BADASS VANYA! 💖

Ooooooh, very smart, Five!!!

One of the machines though? What are the others for? I'm curious.

Plano Street Rooming House for Solitary Men? That's real depressing, Luther.

It's the "the end is nigh" guy the same that was screaming with Luther in ep 1?

King Kong! Not sure if cute or rude af...

Ahahahah! Luther literally STUMBLING on "Allison" and then acting like an awkward Steve Rogers when the kids call him out 😆 Boy, when will you realize that your obsession is creepy?

Honestly, ALL the Hargreeves siblings can be divided into two categories- sweet awkward dork or sass king/queen, there is no in-between (but Diego and Klaus get to be both).

Convenient that Vanya would just sit there and wait to be found by Five but ok.

"I have a brother?" -honey, you have five (pun fully intended)

IKEA MAFIA! 😂

Nice crop circle, Vanya.

Five just rolls with the amnesia, huh? Doesn't even question it. Ok, then.

Why is Ruby, notorious mobster, sewing sequins? It's it for the dog? I bet, it's for the dog.

"Hargreeves. She your ex?" *Cue Luther's super awkward fumbling* "S-Sorta...Y-Yeah. Sure." - big boy, this is the point where you realize how creepy your crush on your own sister is, time to reevaluate.

KLAUS AND ALLISON REUNION! THEY ARE SO CUTE! 😭💜

Honestly, I need more Klaus and Allison interactions. They have so much bff potential.

*le gasp* "oh, you're married?" 😲 -yes, Klaus, you met him.

"dicks, drugs, debutants. My holy trinity" -ok so everything Klaus says should be taken with a grain of salt but does Klaus still do drugs or not? Considering the evolution of his powers with Ben I'd say no, but we aren't seeing other ghosts harassing him so... Hmm, I need confirmation.

"alternative spiritual community" my ass

Ah, Allison falls into the sass queen category.

Allison can have a little PTSD, as a treat. 😢

Those shoes! Hi, Handler.

Those shoes really are her signature by now. Those heels could kill a man.

Handler as a brunette...? She looks good but I like her bleach blonde.

What did she say to make that boy pee himself?? Damn, Handler, no wonder your kid is a mess.

These dudes need to start listening to my girl Allison, instead of following her husband like puppies.

Great speech, girl! ✊

What is up with that sandwich???

Oh wait, it's Ben right? Klaus is using his powers to get Ray out of jail, isn't he?

Yup, of course he is.

Ben being all sassy and cocky about it gives me life.

"high places" - 😆

Poor Ray, you have no idea what you've gotten yourself into.

"family barbecues are about to get reeeeeeeal weird" - I'd actually like to see that.

"leave the pot, dear" - you're such an old man, Five.

"any questions?" Five, if be worried if she DIDN'T have questions after all that.

"asteroid impact" -aww 💜 you really do care for her feelings, Five... But you have to tell her the truth sooner or later.

Harlan likes classical music, huh? Good thing he knows a good violinist.

Harlan and Sissy... 😭 My poor heart.

Ouch! What is wrong with you, Lila? You're right but what is wrong with you?

"I can't believe I got shanked by my own father" - can't you, Diego? Really? After everything else that man did to you and your siblings?

"man to man, that son of bitch wouldn't stand a chance" - yeah, he would, he taught you all you know, boy

Not sure if Lila's story is true or not but... I still have that one theory that she was born on October, 1989...

"I don't understand you!!!" - ahah, poor Diego 🤣

Really? Right in front of Elliot's tuna mold?

Man, Handler is really obsessed with Five...

Oh, Luther, you giant puppy...

This is so AWKWARD!

Bonbons, Luther? Really?

Ok, this small talk is even MORE AWKWARD! It physically hurts to listen to this.

The pain in his face and voice when Luther goes "S-so great" 😭

boy, this is the moment you realize it's time to move on, you're not isolated teenagers in a dysfunctional home anymore, let her be your sister and find love elsewhere.

The sit in!

"seven languages" sassy, sassy, I love her.

YOUNG DAVE!

Oh no... Klaus, no, baby... Oh, this is painful.

Ben, don't be mean, let your brothe have this.

What kind of gay man doesn't know what eggshell is? 😆

"is this considered stalking? 'cause I think you're stalking now" - well, BEN, following your brother 24/7 for 15 years can also be considered stalking

Oh no, Vietnam flashbacks... Poor Klaus 😭😭😭

"Vietnam fling"? Ben, you know it wasn't just a fling! Stop being mean.

Aw, Klaus just wants to save Dave... He's willing to sacrifice their relationship to save Dave's life... 😭😭😭

I know Ben is just worried but he could be less mean...

Damn, this sit in thing is really upsetting...

Why is Ray being weird? Is he suspicious of Luther and Alison's relationship? Or is he just unhappy that Allison kept secrets about her family?

Oh Luther, no... Self-harm by proxy is not going to make you feel better.

Oh, motherfucker! That coffee thing was such an asshole move!

Shit, this scene is so well written, the way something so small is making the whole protest escalate to all hell... The police brutality, the parallels with recent events... Disturbing and brilliant and deeply relevant!

Yes! Rumor that motherfucker, Allison!

Oh no, don't be scared of your wife, Ray! Don't be suspicious!

Poor Allison... 😢

Oh Luther, you dumbass... 😢

Lila going to meet mommy, huh?

Oh, she's still wearing Diego's bracelet. Cute.

I know this scene between Handler and Lila was supposed to be a shocking plot twist but after David Castañeda's interview slip up, I already knew.

Still, an excellent scene and very cool surprise.

Like I said before, I really like Lila, I don't trust her AT ALL but I like her.

...

THIS WAS SUCH AN EMOTIONAL EPISODE... Again.

My god, this show gives me life.

[cowboyguts-moved]

how would your ocs get into the halloween spirit ?

wow what a great question (: 

sooo Lewis my baby always needs help with halloween especially around the time that he’s new in mystic overhang which is the fictional town part of our ocs live in. he needs help because he isn’t accustomed to the ways of halloween! he’s never celebrated it before he was 18 because of the very conservative and abusive way he grew up in his commune… so chris, his boyfriend will take him to stores to look at decorations and thrift shops for costumes and explain something about halloween that he hasn’t already gone over and lewis is really excited about it because dressing up for no fucking reason sounds weird and like it could be made up almost but he’s easily swayed into believing stuff because he’s a liiittle gullible, and he tends to go along with what other people want to do because he has trouble thinking for himself. so chris will suggest costumes until lewis likes the sound of one (he goes as frankenstein’s monster the first year he’s in the town in 1989 even though he doesn’t know what frankenstein is (: HFJBSFDJ it’s a simple costume and he loves the thought of being painted green and having cute pants with patches on them. and his hair at that point is already really short and PURPLE so (:) basically what he does the first few years is follow chris’ lead in costumes, decorating, candy buying, and going to parties and mistakenly drinking spiked punch!!! there’s also an annual mystic overhang halloween festival they go to that some people mysteriously disappear at (: that’s cause their town has a lot of dark secrets and happenings and something Peculiar is going on within it ha ha…. 

let’s see. church’s favorite holiday is halloween!! he’s a very morbid dude and he’s obsessed with the occult and aliens. i think he has specific music that reminds him of halloween from his childhood that he always plays… he loves music and i have a whole playlist for him (for chris, lewis and mikael as well) so he locks himself in his room at the trailer he and his brother live in and he blares it while he eats a hotpocket and stares at his ceiling that’s crossed with banners and streamers for halloween and theres a big ceiling light shining down on his face but he’s sleepy and content and the weather coming in from the small open window is cold and pushing the decorations around. he probably has books that get him in the mood too and he’s an avid reader, anything from bigger college books to Goosebumps really he just loves to absorb that stuff. church is a fly by the seat of his pants kinda boy, his plans are made On halloween night. he’s pretty cool and people like him and he gets invited or welcome to everything and it’s likely cause he smokes weed there HHHSDFHJ and that always gets you friends at those things. church is very dedicated to halloween though its important to him that it feels right and he follows his own traditions and some from being a kid. the right foods, the right decorations, music, books, pumpkin carving, summoning spirits in the living room and the like. after a few years he doesn’t put energy into much because he’s a generally SUPER depressed person and very cynical and angry but i think he always tries at least a little with halloween. uhh when tristan drew him in a halloween costume months ago he was a clown (: big surprise that i wanted him to be that

tan the man ie tanner works at a haunted house on halloween and amiyah, his gf does his makeup. he works there with other hockey players, his friends and does it all through mid september to halloween, i think he kinda has to? because he’s in hockey… but he loves it. he looks all bloody and decayed and carries a fake axe and he has overalls on its very cute (: but he’s very cold. i think in general tanner loves halloween especially how it revolves around the stuff he loves like d&d, lord of the rings, other nerd shit because there’s halloween themed stuff and editions of things etc that he’s apart of. and he also likes witch craft because his mom does and i feel like they have SUPER weird halloween traditions his mom makes them do but tanner secretly loves, i can’t even think of any right now except maybe salt circles where they all (him and his siblings) sit and hold hands and make mixtures for the pagan god and goddess. but there’s many others and he’s done them since he was a damn Baby so he loves it. 

tristan answered for his boys and girl (:

Chris:

okokokok so fuckhole chris has lived in mystic overhang for his entire life so he’s always been aware of the strange happenings in the town and he Loves it. he’s always loved spooky things like that, so when halloween comes around it’s important to him not only to celebrate it but to Feel it and Experience it within the creepy town that they already live in. he obviously spends it with lewis, and he helps lewis find what he wants to wear and be and i think thats his favorite part. but when it’s His turn, he really gets into it and he goes full out whether its dressing up in drag and being a naughty nurse with his puffed out curly wig and ruby red lipstick and the prettiest red pumps….. or even if it’s just a simple grey shimmer dress that cuts off at his mid thighs and shows his asscheeks a little because hes a whore and he likes that with little pink lace undies underneath so that he can flash lewis his grade a tuck job from across the room. he loves to decorate, too, i think. he likes to listen to certain records that remind him of october as well, dancing to them in his basement with lewis. and he loves to go to the parades with lewis too and the parties just to get drunk off his ass on bad beer and kisses ( the chocolate, too (: )

mikael:

HAHA okay now mikael, chris and lewis’ friend….. likes to get high. he loves to get high on halloween and dress up as serial killers! like jason and freddy and michael meyers. he likes to scare kylo a lot, and especially ben because ben gets so tense and spooked on halloween night which mikael thinks is FUCKING hilarious (kylo nd ben are their other friends we love them). he enjoys halloween, but i don’t think it’s his favorite holiday. he does visit church during, though, (church and him have a thing (; ) and i think he’s the one who always invites him out because he wants to go places with him during the cold candy filled night and smoke weed and eat kitkat bars under a bridge that has three homeless dudes playing flapjack under it. he enjoys seeing everyone’s costumes, i think because it reminds him of his foster home and when he’d gaze at all of his foster siblings in their own costumes ranging from princesses and angels to zombies and mad scientists and everyone had smiles on their young faces. 

amiyah:

amiyah LOVES to go all out for halloween, starting october 1st. she decorates her house and ignores the protests from her father, spiderwebs in the kitchen archway and pumpkin baskets full of candy on every surface that a hand can get to. she loves to take her brother out trick or treating on halloween, too. tanner joins her (and i think they did this even before they dated) and they all three go door to door and get candy. amiyah usually dresses up as some mythological or medieval thing, like elf princesses and witchy warlocks. shes also kind of a nerd when it comes to those things, but she’s much more quiet about it than tanner is. her and her brother watch a lot of scary movies together, too, to get into spirit. i think each year they have strict guidelines retaining to the movies they watch so that they HAVE to watch one each night of October or else it ruins the tradition.  criminal, their pet raccoon, will join them in their endeavor obviously. sometimes amiyah dresses him up too, no matter how many times he’ll try to hiss and bite at her (:

[immcrtuos-a]

G I A N T . C H A R A C T E R . S U R V E Y

[ tagged by ]: @eloquated [ tagging ]: @eyerevived @dcmonblooded @remembcr and everyone else who wants to

G E N E R A L

[ name ]: Raphael Ortiz Santiago [ nicknames ]: Rafa (only by certain people he’s close to) [ birthday ]: June 19 [ birthplace ]: Zacatecas, Mexico [ age ]: 84 (looks like 19) [ eye color ]: Dark brown, almost black [ height ]: 1.75m / 5′7 feet [ weight ]: Fairly muscled [ nationality ]: Mexican [ astrological sign ]: Gemini [ location ]: Hotel Dumort [ siblings ]: four brothers and one sister, all deceased [ pets ]: None [ in the morning i’m ]: Sleeping [ all i need is ]: the Clan [ love is ]: Apparently, a good thing [ i’m afraid of ]: Loved ones dying [ i dream about ]: Not much, unless nightmares are counted too

H A V E . Y O U . E V E R ?

[ pictured your crush naked? ]: No? [ used someone? ]: Yes [ been used? ]: Yes [ been cheated on? ]: No [ considered cheating? ]: No [ been kissed? ]: Yes [ done something you regret? ]: Of course

F A V O R I T E

[ food? ]: Can’t eat anything anymore, so does it matter? [ fruit? ]: It used to be cherries [ candy? ]: I don’t have one [ color? ]: Red  [ number? ]: 3 [ animal? ]: Cats [ drink? ]: Blood, obviously [ soda? ]: I preferred coca cola [ book? ]: Macbeth or Julius Caesar [ room? ]: Bedroom [ movie? ]: I don’t have a favorite

D O . Y O U ?

[ have a boyfriend/girlfriend? ]: No [ like cleaning? ]: No [ have a tattoo? ]: No, though I admit they can be nice [ have any piercings? ]: No [ cheat on tests/homework? ]: I don’t remember, probably not [ drink/smoke? ]: Sometimes, with Magnus or Lily [ swear a lot? ]: Probably more than I should [ like watching sunrises or sunset? ]: I wish I could [ pray? ]: Of course  [ go to church? ]: Not anymore, although I used to go every week [ have secrets? ]: Naturally [ have a best friend? ]: Lily and Eliot (and Jack @eyerevived ) [ like your own handwriting? ]: Sure

A R E . Y O U ?

[ obsessive? ]: About certain subjects, I suppose [ excited? ]: Not particularly [ bored? ]: At the moment, yes [ happy? ]: Not really [ missing someone? ]: Yes [ confused? ]: No [ tired? ]: No [ mad? ]: At certain people, yes [ sleepy? ]: No

D O . Y O U . E V E R ?

[ wait around just to talk to someone? ]: Sure [ write about those ‘special’ moments? ]: No, I don’t need a diary to remember [ wish you were a member of the opposite sex? ]: No

W H O . W A S . T H E . L A S T . P E R S O N . W H O ?

[ you talked to? ]: Lily and Eliot [ you hugged? ]: Magnus [ you kissed? ]: That’s unimportant [ sent you a letter? ]: The Los Angeles clan leader [ you sent a letter to? ]: The Los Angeles clan leader, in return [ you laughed with? ]: Eliot [ slept in your bed? ]: Myself [ you shared a drink with? ]: Lily or Eliot   [ you went to the movies with? ]: A group of the Clan, a few years ago [ yelled at you? ]: Camille [ you called? ]: Magnus [ you kicked? ]: A Shadowhunter [ you saw? ]: Lily

W H O . I S ?

[ the most handsome person you know? ]: Objectively, probably Magnus? Although, Isabelle Lightwood is also beautiful. [ the weirdest person you know? ]: Simon Lewis, without a doubt the most confusing person I currently know [ the funniest person you know? ]: Eliot [ the loudest person you know? ]: Loud in volume is Lily, loud in character is Magnus   [ the quietest person you know? ]: Aurélie, a clan member [ the sweetest person you know? ]: Johannes, another clan member [ the most serious person you know? ]: Every person from the Clave  [ your best friend? ]: Well, that used to be Ragnor [ the person you hate the most? ]: Valentine Morgenstern [ the person you see most? ]: Lily and Eliot [ your soul-mate? ]: Soul-mates don’t exist.  

W H A T . I S ?

[ the first thing you thought of when you woke up? ]: Everything that needed to be done tonight [ the song that best describes you? ]: I don’t know [ your best feature? ]: Physical or in general? [ your most treasured memory? ]: Any of the ones with my hermanos

I N . T H E . F U T U R E

[ what is the age you hope to get married? ]: I’m not going to be married [ number and names of kids? ]: I won’t have any  [ where do you see yourself at age twenty? ]: I’ve surpassed twenty by a few decennia now  [ describe your dream wedding? ]: I already said I won’t have one, so it doesn’t matter [ when and how do you want to die? ]: Preferably a long time from now and quickly [ what are your career plans? ]: Keep leading the clan [ some place you’d like to visit? ]: I would like to go back to Zacatecas.

L A S T . T I M E

[ last time you went out of state? ]: Clan business a few months ago [ last time you were outside? ]: Yesterday night [ last time you had a snowball fight? ]: Years ago [ last time you were listening to music? ]: A while ago

O T H E R

[ how many people would you say are good friends of yours? ]: Three [ what hurts the most, physical or emotional pain? ]: Emotional. [ have you felt this recently? ]: Yes [ what do you wear to bed? ]: Sweatpants and a t-shirt [ when’s the last time you slept with a stuffed animal? ]: As a child [ have you ever used a ouija board? ]: No [ how many rings before you pick up the phone? ]: As soon as I can find it

[boystownbirdie]

NEW PHONE WHO DIS?

Are you an inexperienced or inconsistent Game of Thrones viewer? Are you not quite sure who all of these people are and why you should care about them or their hairstyles? I present to you… New Phone, Who Dis?  A guide to the major characters of Game of Thrones, season 7, brought to you by the same blerg that brought you, LET ME WATCH TV 4 U? 

For each character we’ll be answering the following questions: WHO DIS? Who are their still-alive allies (best budz)? Will he/she win the game of thrones? Will he/she survive the next 11 episodes? I’ll start with a quick n’ dirty guide to the big 3 families and then get into individuals… 

Before we start, SPOILER ALERT,  OBVI. Let’s go!

The Starks

Members: Mom (Catelyn) and Dad (Ned) are both dead, so you don’t need to know much about them except that Ned died at the end of season 1 and Catelyn died at that “red wedding” people are always talking about. They had 5 kids: Robb (also died at the red wedding), Sansa (alive!), Arya (also alive!), Bran (wow also alive!), and Rickon (RIP). There’s also Jon Snow aka Bae who was raised as “Ned Stark’s bastard” but was recently confirmed to be the son of Ned’s sister Lyanna and Rhaegar Targaryen, so he’s actually Ned’s nephew and is a sort of Stark-Targaryen mix. For ease of reading, I’ll refer to him as Ned’s son for the rest of this post since this is knowledge that you and I and Bran have but Bae doesn’t even know yet.

Hobbies: Giant wolves, talking about winter, suppressing their feelings, following the rules, dying and coming back to life (well mostly just Bae), living at Winterfell (their home base)

The Lannisters

Members: At this point it’s just 3 adult siblings and get this, THEY’RE ALL ALIVE. Which is truly shocking. There’s Cersei (aka Queen Pixie Cut or QPC), her twin bro/lover Jaime, and their little bro Tyrion (who, despite his heritage is definitely not #teamLannister). QPC and her bro pro-created and had 3 kids together, that she pretended to be the children of her hubby, King Robert Baratheon. Sadly her kids and former hubby are all no longer with us.

Hobbies: Incest, drinking wine, lions I guess?, being rich, killing people who threaten to reveal their secrets or get in their way

The Targaryens

Members: Daenerys (aka Khaleesi) is the only real, legit one who is still alive THAT WE KNOW OF. Jon Snow (Bae) is technically her brother’s son and therefore a Targaryen but he doesn’t know that yet. The only other legit Targaryen we met in the series was her brother Viserys who was THE WORST and got his face burned off.

Hobbies: Dragons, fire, being in-flammable (is that a word?), traditionally they were also into incest but Khaleesi hasn’t gotten into that yet

***Important takeaway: At this point, most of the characters are either #teamBae (Stark), #teamQPC (Lannister), or #teamKhaleesi (Targaryen)**

Now let’s jump into our characters!

WHO DIS?

DIS IS: Jon Snow aka Bae aka King of the North aka (former) High Commander of the Nightswatch aka Lord Snow/ King Crow/ The White Wolf. He is famously moody but he is a legit kind, respectful, and open-minded person who is a skilled warrior. He also was stabbed to death by a bunch of his friends at the celibacy-training-academy but then came back to life when an evil witch lady did a spell, TG. Follow up Q- Why is he “Bae?” Because look at that face, duh. But also he is generally pretty #woke and v sensual, esp in season 3 when he meets his lover and breaks his vows of celibacy to tap dat. Said lover famously repeats the phrase “you know nothing, Jon Snow,” but turns out HE DOES KNOW SOME STUFF. Talkin’ bout sex stuff.

Best budz? His besties are Sam, currently studying to be a maester (doctor/historian/librarian/bed-pan-cleaner) and his giant wolf named Ghost. He’s also got his half-sis Sansa on his side as well as No-Knuckles (a nice old dude with some leadership experience), Lady Mormont (the most badass 11 year old you’ve ever met), and a bunch of other “Great Northern Houses” who proclaimed him King of the North. He’s also pals with a bunch of “wildlings” who are people who were born North of the ice wall as well as the current “Nightswatch” dudes who he left in charge when he headed to Winterfell.

Will he win the game of thrones?  Maybe? He’s the only current leader who seems as concerned as he should be about the white walkers (giant army of ice zombies who are LOVING this winter weather). Plus he’s a decent guy (chill dude, likes to hang out) AND he’s got that Targaryen and Stark background so he’s got some legit claims to the throne.

Will he survive the next 11 episodes? I think yes. Again, he already died and came back to life so I doubt that will happen again.

WHO DIS?

DIS IS: Sansa Stark, current Queen of Winterfell (I guess?) former fiancee of Joffrey (now dead), former wife of Tyrion, former wife of Ramsay Bolton (he was evil and she had his dogs eat him) and second oldest legit Stark kid. She used to be obsessed with #fashun and Joffrey but then he turned out to be insane in the membrane and she’s spent the past 5 years being tortured, raped, and traded around by dudes until she reunited with her half-bro, Bae. Now she is much more practical and less trusting and as we’ve seen in the past 2 eps, not always on the same page with Bae.

Best budz? Brienne of Tarth aka Ladyknight is sworn to protect her, as is her squire, Pod. She was pals with Theon (previously-traumatized Theon) because he helped her escape evil Ramsay and I guess she’s friends with Littlefinger who is one of the said dudes who’s been trading her around. Littlefinger is apparently in lurve with her but also WAY OLDER and also used to be in lurve with her mom which is super creepy.

Will she win the game of thrones? Unlikely. She doesn’t really seem to want to be in charge of anything at the moment, but that could change.

Will she survive the next 11 episodes? Doubt it. She’s already been through a lot and while I’d love to see her happy and safe and living her #bestlife, I kind of doubt she will survive to the end because she’s been hangin’ by a thread for awhile.

WHO DIS?

DIS IS: Arya Stark aka “A Girl” aka Arry aka former intern at the face-swapping-assassin-training academy turned rogue assassin. She recently reconnected with her roots and it seems like she’ll be heading home to see her sis and half-bro in Winterfell. She’s a skilled swords-woman and has never been into anything traditionally feminine. She was briefly blind and before that was a captive of “The Hound” who hoped to trade her for some $$ but ended up escaping from him. Most recently, she killed Walder Frey (a powerful old dude who was pals with the Lannisters) and then poisoned like 100 of his friends and family.

Best budz? Before they were separated, she and Bae were very close (not in an incest way, tho) and she has a friend named Hot Pie who’s a great local chef #eatlocal. She and her sis Sansa were never very close because of their vast differences, but I’m pretty sure they’ll be happy to see one another alive. She made friends with this dude Gendry who is secretly the bastard son of Cersei’s ex-hubby but she hasn’t seen him in awhile. 

Will she win the game of thrones? Doubtful. Again, she’s showed no ambition to lead but has shown great skill as a fighter. My guess is she will end up as a knight or some other type of warrior/fighter/guardian.

Will she survive the next 11 episodes? I’m gonna say yes. She is VERY HARD TO KILL even for trained assassins. 

WHO DIS?

DIS IS: Bran Stark aka the NEW AND IMPROVED three-eyed-raven, youngest living Stark kid (presumed dead by many), paraplegic but what he lacks in mobility he makes up for in ability to see into and affect events in the past and enter the brains of animals and other humans. He’s been up North of the ice-wall for awhile but as of season 7 ep 1, is safe with the nightswatch at the wall and likely headed to see his fam at Winterfell. He’s the only person (that we know of) who knows the truth about Bae’s parentage.

Best budz? His best bud is Meera, a very badass chick who helps him get around/survive. He also met and be-friended Bae’s friend Sam a few seasons ago and also briefly reunited with his uncle who is now some sort of ice-zombie-human-hybrid who helped him and Meera survive up North. 

Will he win the game of thrones? Naw. More than likely he’ll be important in the war against the ice-zombies since he has tons of experience with them, but he’s unlikely to lead. 

Will he survive the next 11 episodes? I think so.  Again, his ability to see and potentially affect past events will be super important so I’m thinking people will continue to work hard to protect him.

WHO DIS?

DIS IS: Tyrion Lannister aka the Imp aka Hand of Queen to Daenerys Targaryen (aka Khaleesi) aka former husband to Sansa Stark, former lover of Shae, former Hand of the King to Joffrey.  He loves to drink and read books so he knows a lot of shit but also can be a sloppy, cynical mess. He hates his sister (the feeling is mutual) but has some amount of love and respect for his brother, Jamie. He was in love with Shae but she betrayed him and got with his dad so he killed them both. In his defense, they testified against him which led him to be sentenced to death. After that he left Lannister-life behind to meet up with Khaleesi and co. He’s been able to show off his strategizing-skills as well as knowledge of military maneuvers in his current role.

Best budz? He’s friends with Khaleesi and her crew, as well as this dude Varys (aka Sleevey) who brought him to Khaleesi in the first place. Again, he and his bro Jamie have a complicated relationship but in the past they’ve gotten along. He’s also friends with this dude named Bronn, who, last we checked was working for Jamie. And there’s his former squire, Pod, now works for Ladyknight and famously saved his life during an important battle.

Will he win the game of thrones? He really could. He’s shown great leadership skills and the ability to learn from past mistakes. He’s not too idealistic or unwilling to compromise which are also important in this world.

Will he survive the next 11 episodes? I’m gonna say yes. He’s an important character since he’s a Lannister who is #teamKhaleesi and who has befriended 2 of the Stark peeps, meaning he’s a bridge between these 3 warring groups. I’d bet on him lasting until the end.

WHO DIS?

DIS IS: Cersei Lannister aka Queen Pixie Cut aka QPC aka Queen of the Seven Kingdoms and current sitter on the “Iron Throne” which is what everyone is always jones-ing to sit on. She recently blew up an entire church full of people (and probably most people within a ½ mile radius too) because they were gettin’ on her nerds. She is intelligent but cruel and recently got a terrible haircut against her will and had to walk naked through the streets. She used to have 3 kids: Joffrey who was also cruel and was poisoned (she blamed Tyrion but it was actually Littlefinger and Grandma Tyrell’s fauly), Myrcella who was nice but also got poisoned (this time by the Sand Snakes/ Dornish Queen lady) and Tommen who jumped out a window after the church explosion.

Best budz? Her bro/lover Jaime is pretty much her bestie and the only person she can really trust at this point. She also likes the current “Maester” who notably is into human experimentation and brought back “The Mountain” (a giant bodyguard/fighter dude who is The Hound’s brother) from the dead a few seasons ago. Now he is basically a giant zombie-hybrid and she likes him too because he kills and tortures people for her.

Will she win the game of thrones? Doubtful. She went to this fortune-teller-lady when she was young that said she’d have 3 kids who would all die young (which came true) and that she’d be overthrown by a younger and more beautiful queen and be killed by her younger brother. Most people think that this younger hawtie kween is Khaleesi but fortunes can be wrong!

Will she survive the next 11 episodes? Again, doubtful due to the prophecy. If it’s true, either Jaime or Tyrion (since both are technically younger than her) could kill her in the next 11 eps. Tyrion is the more likely candidate but who knows! (George RRRRR Martin, that’s who )

WHO DIS?

DIS IS: Ser Jaime Lannister aka The Kingslayer aka Oathbreaker aka QPC’s brother/lover aka the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard. He’s a tricky character since he loves his sister a lot but also seems to have a stronger grip on reality. He is a great fighter but got a hand chopped off in like season 2 and has been a embarrassed about it ever since. He’s the de facto leader of the Lannister army and has shown great skill in battle and manipulation of his enemy. He famously killed the “Mad King” by stabbing him in the back, earning the kingslayer/oathbreaker nicknames.

Best budz? His sister, obvi. And he has been a fan of his brother in the past although right now they’re on opposite sides. He also got set up with Bronn on a friend-date by his bro Tyrion. He and Brienne (aka Ladyknight) are also one of the many #unlikelyfriendships the show has had and she’s now #teamStark. 

Will he win the game of thrones? Probably not. He doesn’t really seem to have any leadership ambition, so I’d say no. He may be standing next to whoever wins, though.

Will she survive the next 11 episodes? Probably. He’s hard to kill and has connections to each of the warring factions at this point. I can see him turning on his sis and changing sides which would make him an asset and therefore likely to #stayalive #hamilton.

WHO DIS?

DIS IS: Daenerys Targaryen aka Khaleesi aka Myhssa aka The Unburnt aka Mother of Dragons aka Breaker of Chains aka Queen of Mereen aka Queen of the Seven Kingdoms and Heir to the Iron Throne. Her dad was called “the Mad King” because he loved to burn people alive (just like QPC!) and she was shipped to the east part of the world right after she was born so she wouldn’t get killed by the Lannisters and Co. She’s spent the last 6 seasons working her way across the eastern continent, first marrying a hawtie horse-king dude who later died from an infected wound, having a stillborn son with him, and then she “gave birth” to 3 dragons at the end of season 1. I know what you’re thinking, PEOPLE CAN’T BIRTH DRAGONS. True. Basically she had 3 petrified dragon eggs and after the loss of her husband and child, she walked into a great funeral pyre and came out later with 3 bb dragons who came from those petrified eggs. She cannot be burned by fire at all, which is pretty kewl. She also set free thousands of slaves and then ruled a kingdom out east called Mereen for awhile. Now she is finally back in the West after all this time to reclaim the throne. She is very intelligent, fierce, but also thoughtful and well-loved.

Best budz? Her translator/bestie is Missandei with the good hair. She’s also pals with Tyrion (who is her “hand” or basically Vice President), Greyworm (the leader of this army of soldiers who she set free but who decided to keep being loyal to her anyway), Grandma Tyrell (whose family got burned up in QPC’s fire last season), Previously-Traumatized Theon and his sister Yara (who is the leader of the Greyjoy fleet of ships), the Sand Queen lady (Queen of Dorne/ mother of the “sand snakes”), Sleevey (Varys- an advisor who used to work for the Lannisters but defected) and last but not least, her old pal Stoney who is currently getting amateur surgery for stoney-skin-disease by Sam (Bae’s bestie). PHEW. She’s got a lot of pals.

Will she win the game of thrones? MAYBE? She would be a great leader and has overcome every obstacle thus far. But if George RRRR Martin has taught us anything, it’s that #youcantalwaysgetwhatyouwant and also no one is immortal, really. But she’s got a good chance.

Will she survive the next 11 episodes? Probably! Again, she can’t be killed by fire and she’s got a lot of people around her who would do anything to protect her.

Those are all of our major characters! I could do a supporting-cast character breakdown if that would be helpful, just let me know. Thanks for reading and tell your friends!! 

[ambagelbraindump]

Book Review #3: Howl on the Wind by Charmian Hussey

Synopsis:

Lizzie and her older brother Tom’s lives are changed forever when they are involved in a horrific car accident; they lose not only their mother, but Lizzie loses the ability to use her legs (and her dreams of being an olympic runner).

However, these setbacks mean nothing to this pair; after extensive physical therapy, Lizzie sets out in renewed pursuit of a life of adventure. While sorting through their mother’s belongings, they find several mysterious letters that seem to hint at a forbidden past, information regarding not only the real identity of their mother, but their long-supposed-dead father and his many adventures.

Their quest takes them to the Cornwall, England, where they meet a motley cast of locals, none of whom take kindly to their snooping around. Despite an initially friendly demeanor, this town is full of strange, dark magic; mysterious spirits, ancient witches, and even rumors of a wolf man on a nearby island. 

Lizzie’s attempts to find out information about her father are thwarted time and time again, not only by the locals but by mysterious, dark-suited men who seem intent on keeping her quiet; however, none of these obstacles can keep her from achieving her goal.

General thoughts [warning: spoilers]

I read Charmian Hussey’s first book (The Valley of Secrets) way back when I was in elementary school so it really holds a special place in my heart; I’ve been trying to get a hold of Howl on the Wind for years, but only got around to it this past Christmas. The Valley of Secrets was a surreal experience for 11 year old me, so I wasn’t sure what to expect from this one.

Initially, I was confused about how this book was going to proceed. The first few chapters detail the accident and Lizzie’s new life with a disability, and I was like “wait... this is an adventure story, where is this going?? How is Lizzie supposed to have grand adventure across the cornish countryside in a wheelchair without getting stuck every five seconds?” ...As I write this I realize this sounds incredibly ignorant- probably a good thing I read this book then, because it really opened my eyes to the possibilities of having a disabled protagonist.

Side note, this was personally interesting to me as a writer because my main dude in EB is also disabled (albeit in a very different way than Lizzie), so it was really inspiring and also helpful to see how another writer did things.

Things I liked about this book: Disabled representation, ancient, mysterious dark magic, healthy sibling relationships, overcoming insurmountable obstacles... 

Oh man. The magic in this book was definitely something else. Just like in the Valley of Secrets, it was unexpected, (mostly) unexplained, and not really a main focus of the story- just an interesting bit of flavor. The idea of a “swan pit” is incredibly creepy but also cool (basically, it’s a pit lined with swan skin and feathers, and you throw in objects with the intention of doing magic). I did some googling and found out some really neat stuff about them, and about cornish witches in general.

Something else that was also similar to the Valley of Secrets that I didn’t realize until the end of the book was the fact that Charmian Hussey really likes telling extended stories about adventures in Africa. There wasn’t quite as much of it in this book, but I remember being mildly annoyed because this guy just kept telling story after story, far longer than would have been acceptable in any other book.

Going back to the disabled protagonist aspect, I was actually really delighted by that aspect of Lizzie’s life. Yes, her disability gets in her way sometimes (see: getting her chair stuck in ruts in the road, accidentally getting swept away while trying to cross over to an island) but it doesn’t stop her from having any of her adventures. Charmian Hussey definitely did her research when she wrote this- we get to hear Lizzie’s internal thoughts about her life, and how she feels when able-bodied people try to take advantage of her or treat her like a child.

Things I didn’t like: Weird sibling relationships, embedded colonialism, british slang (?)

One thing that really kinda threw me off about this book was Lizzie’s relationship with her brother Tom. I get that they’re technically orphans, and that they’re supposed to take care of each other, but their relationship seemed kind of unrealistic? They were so kind and nice and supportive /all/ the time, and rarely, if ever, fought or teased each other or any of the other things siblings are supposed to do. It just felt weird to me, and while their interactions were positive, again it just felt incredibly unrealistic and off.

Speaking of Tom... This is really the only major spoiler in here, but what the actual ever loving cheesecake was with the ending?? Spoiler: Tom died in the car accident along with their mother, and Lizzie’s been hallucinating him the entire time. This isn’t the first time I’ve been blind sided by “surprise! This person’s a ghost!” (see: the time I almost threw Greenglass House out the window) but this one caught me completely and utterly off guard. Maybe I’m wrong, but I’m fairly certain I remember other characters interacting with Tom, and Lizzie talking about her brother and not getting any weird looks or invitations to a mental hospital. With Greenglass house at least I could look back and be like “wow how did I not seen the signs?” but this one it genuinely felt like it was just tacked on to the end for the heck of it. I keep thinking about it and asking myself “how?? how could Tom be dead the whole time???” 

Another thing I wasn’t a huge fan of was the colonialism/”white man’s burden” sort of thing going on, mostly during Robert Treggarow’s adventure stories... Maybe this African chief really did want to be english, but it seemed /really/ weird that his dad hired an english nurse, and that he was obsessed with the Queen and all sorts of other english things.

Rating

I’m giving Howl on the Wind a 4.5 out of 10: I loved having a disabled protagonist, but between the unrealistic sibling relationships and that gosh dang ending, I wasn’t really all that satisfied with it. It also took me forever to get into, and I think the only reason I really kept up with it is because I like to read during my chill-out times. Overall it was a very interesting adventure, but some aspects just really threw me off, hence my mediocre rating.

[cyberstabbing]

not frerard

Gen

well. shit. - an asshole!mcr ficlet disguised as a desolation row au….. it’s just an excuse to write the boys as jerks. 0.7k

The Year of Living Safely - Post-sobriety MCR. This is as much about me and my own brother as it is about the Way boys, and Christ was it hard to write; it brought a lot of painful things to the surface. 12k

painful but worth a read. or ten.

also, there’s some background one-sided frerard, but very low-key. and i repeat: one-sided.

​​Now With More Cowbell - Hermes - trickster god first and foremost, the patron saint of robbers and thieves, of conmen and rockstars. He’ll go to bat for you if you make him laugh or if he likes your style, or if you have an offering that tickles his fancy (he’s fond of stuffed animals, cigarettes, and ugly puppies, just as an FYI).

One of his godly duties is to guide souls to the underworld, lead them into their personal version of the afterlife, though maybe some people he doesn’t like get lost along the way. He’s not too great with messages, either, to be honest. 0.5k

Not a Pretty Girl - 28k

Gen. Always-been-a-girl fic featuring kick ass female drummer, Bob Bryar. The story is a series of shorter fics all about her life before MCR, growing up as a woman in the Chicago scene, touring with The Used, joining MCR and everything that comes with that. It's awesome. + art!

The Year of Living Safely - Post-sobriety MCR. This is as much about me and my own brother as it is about the Way boys, and Christ was it hard to write; it brought a lot of painful things to the surface. 12k

Incredibly painful but worth a read. Or ten. Does have one-sided Frank/Gerard (mentioned).

Away With The Boys In The Band - Behind the Music: My Chemical Romance, in the world where Mikey has always been a girl. 69k

Ship(s): Mikey Way/Otter, Mikey Way/Gabe Saporta, Mikey Way/Pete Wentz, Mikey Way/Alicia Simmons

^ I could not put this down. The writing is so so so spectacular, and the dialog is both interesting and realistic. A lot of angst, but still hilarious at parts. Please read. Putting this under both Gen and Other ships because whilst it doesn’t focus on a specific pairing Mikey’s relationships are brought up, just like all the other parts of her life are.

Update because I need to add some things: Listen! Words can not express how obsessed with this fic I am. I made a mixtape for it. Fanart. Currently working on a ebook version of it so I can print it out. Guys. You do not understand how fucking fantastic this fic is. Don’t scroll away from me, I’m serious! Fucking click the link dammit. Click it. C’mon. I’m waiting–click iiiiit. You back yet? Yeah? What did I tell you! I know, it is amazing! You okay? Got tissues? Good. Okay now go wash your face and eat a snack. No, no, no need to thank me, the pleasure was all mine.

Life on the Fashion Scene - This season of Project Runway becomes infamous for reasons beyond the quirks of the designers, Matt P.'s ousting, Pete's apparently crippling co-dependence on Patrick, and the rumored trysts between Mikey and Pete spawned by their formation of the Sweet Little Dudes Club (and the resulting matching t-shirts). 6k

Oh my god. Oh my. God. See, when I first saw the description I just started laughing hysterically. And then I started reading the first paragraph, just to see how ridiculous it would be. But I couldn’t put it down. So I read the entire thing, got way to invested, and now I’m begging strangers on the internet to read it. ...Please do!!!

Rappelling Down Mount Vesuvius - 1k | Gen

I love reading little snippets of their lives like this. Just the right amount of fluff and backstory for something bittersweet and hopeful.

Other ships

Away With The Boys In The Band - Behind the Music: My Chemical Romance, in the world where Mikey has always been a girl. 69k

^ I could not put this down. The writing is so so so spectacular, and the dialog is both interesting and realistic. A lot of angst, but still hilarious at parts. Please read. Putting this under both Gen and Other ships because whilst it doesn’t focus on a specific pairing Mikey’s relationships are brought up, just like all the other parts of her life are.

Ships: Mikey Way/Otter, Mikey Way/Gabe Saporta, Mikey Way/Pete Wentz, Mikey Way/Alicia Simmons

Thank You For The - Just an alien in New Jersey, looking for a mate. 0.5k

"Have fun," Gerard said, even though he'd just told Mikey he couldn't have fun because he needed to be careful. Mikey wished his venom sacs were fully developed. He would spit on Gerard's shoes.

Ship: Gabe Saporta/Mikey Way

Not Smashing Windows - In the beginning, they were the scene. An origin story. 32k

From Gabe’s POV, and it’s done flawlessly. It somehow emulates the same feeling one gets from stumbling across an overlooked short film at three a.m. on youtube. The one you can’t help but wonder about, how it is that you’ve never heard about it before. Like it is in its own bubble of existence. Feeling afraid to even breathe or look away, afraid that it’ll disappear at any time, that it was too good to be true. Something you shouldn’t be able to hold in your hands. This fic feels incredibly personal to read. Gabe’s longings of intimacy, the hopelessness at parts. I could feel my fondness for the characters grow enormously in this fic. 

The wording and conversations and scenes paint a brilliant picture that will stay with you for a long time. I know it will for me at least. 

Ship: Gabe Saporta/Mikey Way

Reaching Through The Mirror - The one where Party Poison and Basement!Gerard have sex. 5k

(part one of Time Travel ‘verse)

Ship: Gerard Way/Gerard Way

James Cameron Got It Wrong - In which 2005!Frank and Fun Ghoul get it on. Then Frank accidentally winds up in 2019. 56k

(part two of Time Travel ‘verse)

Ship: Frank Iero/Frank Iero

Put Your Mouth Over The Stupid Things We're Taught We Ought To Say - Gabe wakes up drunk, holding on to the bed for dear life and hoping he's not about to die. He's had nightmares about that, lately. Waking up confused and disoriented and then a few minutes later, dead. Sometimes there's symbolism and shit. 5k

Ship: Gabe Saporta/Mikey Way

00.06 - '4 and 14 adopt a newborn baby together. What do they name it, how do they raise it, etc, etc. Do they eventually get it siblings? Do they ditch it in a dumpster on prom night because its not as fun as they thought?’

THIS IS QUITE LITERALLY THE WEIRDEST THING I HAVE EVER WRITTEN. And yet, I am oddly charmed by it. 2k

oh my god. it was hilarious. Ship: Gerard Way/James Potter

Code Red - In the fall out of a fire fight, Party Poison goes looking for medicine, and finds pretty much the exact opposite of that. 2k

Ship: Korse/Party Poison

Frank/Gabe pr0n - "I need you to go to a party with me tonight."  Frank blinked and looked up at Mikey, frowning. "What?" 2k maybe

Ship: Frank/Gabe

Workplace Appropriate Attire - Korse is a creepy boyfriend. 1k

This was fun to read, but some lines made me go OH SHIT, because ...... well if you read this you will know what I’m talking about.

Ship(s): Korse/Party Poison

love on the webways - As a writer, Grant supposes he could have considerably worse habits than trolling his own message boards. 

A totally ridiculous AU vaguely inspired by You've Got Mail. 32k

This was so fun to read! It’s a what-if-they-broke-up-after-tbp fic btw.

Ship: Grant/Gerard

We Got Machines - There are questions on the lips of everyone with eyes or money on the arena. Who is this kid? Where’d he come from? Who trained him? BLind’s got no records on him, meaning he’s a Zonebrat returning to the grasp of the city of his own volition. Another anomaly. That a 16 year old nobody could waltz in out of nowhere and turn the system on its head is... concerning to BLind. <1k Part 1 of KJ/Griefers 'verse (3.5k in total)

Ship: Deadmau5/G3rard

xoxoxoxo - Party Poison wakes up somewhere he's never been - but there's plenty that's familiar here. 1k

Ship: Party Poison/Korse

​I'll Repair For You (When The Roof Starts To Fall) - When Gerard inherits a house in Scotland from a distant relative, he doesn't expect to have to spend quite so much time at the hardware store. He also doesn't expect to fall in love with the tiny little village or with one of his neighbors...who just happens to be Grant Morrison. 17k

Ship: Grant/Gerard

In Firmer Chains, Our Hearts Confine - Former musical composer and current writer Gerard Way is a sensation of the musical and literary scenes of 1800s London. But after struggling for ages with his new book, he’s close to giving up. Until he receives an offer from Grant Morrison himself; to go to his manor in Scotland and work on his novel in peace. Gerard seizes upon the chance immediately. Grant, however, has a dark secret he’s desperately trying to keep hidden. And Gerard has a few of his own. 37k

Picture me, casually stumbling upon this fic one late night. Historical? Check. An AU but Gerard’s talents are still appreciated and encouraged, and he makes a name for himself? Double check. Grant Morrison? Check. Gerard and Grant’s dark secrets? CHECK CHECK CHECK CHECK CHECK

Me: *already fucking shaking from excitement, now glancing up at the tags* Enter the tag Alternate Universe - Vampire. Queue foaming at the mouth.

This fic was so fucking awesome in so many ways I don’t even know where to begin. The slow and suspenseful unraveling of secrets and mysteries. The numerous parallels drawn between the AU and real life events of the people in it, and that the author made sure that they all worked within the AU without a hitch. All the actions and ambitions of the people in it that somehow managed to balance masterfully on the fine line between what’s canon and what’s realistic for that time period.

Fuck, lurkers guys. I’m not sure if my word-vomiting even gets anyone to read fic on my list, but for the sake of this fic (and my ego sdkjlskldhfklf) I ask anyone reading this to p l  e a s e read it. For your own sake. And mine. Because I need to yell about this fic with somebody, STAT.

Ships: Gerard/Grant, and very, I repeat, VERY low-key Frank/Mikey

Looking for Satellites - Galaxy-hopping alien trader Gerard has business on space station Perseus Four. Getting to know station administrator Grant is a nice bonus. 25k

Gerard is a sexy, telepathic and open minded (heh) alien and it’s great.

Ship: Gerard/Grant

Candle on the Drawer - No one thinks your hands being funny colors is weird when you go to art school. Probably about 1-3k

“So, okay. Gerard maybe has a drawer full of candles in every color of the rainbow. It’s kind of weird, yeah, but it’s not like anyone ever goes digging in his drawers so it’s not something he really feels the need to hide. How was he supposed to know that Gabe was going to go digging in drawers for whatever reason? How was he supposed to know Gabe was going to be in his room at all? He’s more Mikey’s friend.”

Gerard is into waxplay!

Ship: Gerard/Gabe

the only hope for me - Korse has never been one to show his emotions. 1k

Ship: Korse/Party Poison

your kicks don't hit, so we remain the same - a battery city ambush goes somewhat wrong. 0.8k

Ship: Korse/Party Poison

Methane Skies - Run, run, bunny, run. 3k

Hot damn this is some creepy and suspenseful stuff.

Ship: (implied) Korse/Party Poison

All the Broken Pieces (Keep Cool, Stay Tough) - Up until that fateful night, Frank’s had a pretty decent life. But everything’s changed and now he’s got to figure out how to be himself again. With the help of some really groovy friends, Peppers, and his never-give-up attitude, Frank gonna get there. He’s sure of it. 39k

There’s this spectacular scene involving an escalator and Frank making a grand entrance that immediately pops into my head when I think of this fic.

Description by babylynz: OH MY FUCKING GOD OKAY, THIS IS A FRIKEY FIC BUT IT’S SO FUCKIGN GOODJDDJDHHHGHG

basically Frank gets in an accident that leaves him unable to walk and it’s a really emotional kinda story (but like .. Idk, it’s lighthearted) about him getting used to everyday life again and he meets Mikey online and they bond over really shitty movies and they meet up and AHH!!! Also Ray is like …. a ,,,, what is it …… He helps Frank get used to having sex again after the accident? He’s one of his therapists idk it’s a really good story, read it.

Ship: Frank Iero/Mikey way

And the Painted Ponies - After years of struggling to be taken seriously as a bodyguard, Frank Iero is finally well established. He loves his boss, Ray, he loves his job, and he prides himself on his professionalism. But then he's assigned to be the personal bodyguard of Mikey Way.

Mikey Way, aka Roboboy, is a successful high fashion model. Loved by designers and the public alike for his trademark lack of emotion, but mocked by the tabloid press for the exact same reason. Mikey is someone that Frank's sure he'll hate. Except it doesn't work out that way.

In fact, it doesn't take long before Frank discovers he really likes Mikey. Maybe too much. 34k

Ship: Frank Iero/Mikey way

mutilate, maim and destroy (just a tad) - For clarification, this fic is about Gerard Way the actual person being tortured by Korse in the Killjoys universe. Like. Hnng, you'll see nevermind.

Ship: Gerard/Korse

Your Dirty Smile Shames the Sun - Pancakes, throat fucking, and a good book. It's kind of Mikey's idea of a perfect day. 6k

Ship: Mikey/Frank

london calling - Gerard feels like his life needs to change, so he moves to London. After years of hard work, he gets a book deal with a press that will finally allow him to write exactly the book he's always wanted to write. When he meets his new editor, Grant Morrison, he's surprised at how much they get along. 28k

Ship: Grant/Gerard

A Room Full Of Suicides - His jaw was clenched and his whole body quivering. He looked right at Korse with those huge, transparent eyes. “Do what you want to me. I don’t give a shit, Korse.” He drew in a breath that shook. “You wouldn’t understand. It’s about standing up for what you believe in.” God, the kid was adorable. Korse couldn’t wait to make him scream. 4

Ship: Korse/Party Poison, Fun Ghoul/Party Poison (implied)

For a Different View - AU. Ray Toro is a girl, Rae, but MCR is still just MCR. 49k

The first time they went over to Mikey’s house, Mikey tossed her a beer and said, "My brother might come up. Maybe not, though. He gets weird in the middle of projects.” She found out what he meant halfway through Dawn of the Dead, when a bundle of black fabric barreled from the basement door to the refrigerator and back down to the basement without saying a word to either of them.

I need to finish this!!! But –gah. Such awesome awesomeness.

Ship: Ray/Mikey

From The Corner to The Block - A bike messenger AU. 4k

The comment I left: Oh my god. An AU I never knew I wanted but one I now cannot live without. That was incredibly cute!!

“What are you watching? Is that Degrassi?”

“No,” Frank says quickly, just as a voiceover blares, “Degrassi: The Next Generation will be right back,” because this is Frank’s life.

^ I’m pretty sure my laughter from that line woke up at least one person from my household. Poor Frank.

Ship: Frank/Mikey

Out Where The Sand's Turning To Gold - "Last call, last song," the singer says, touching a finger to the microphone and making it pop softly at the crowd. "For all you lovers out there." 5k

Ship: Gerard/Gabe

Superheroes (2-part series) - Mikey isn’t a superhero. 3k

Ship: Frank/Mikey

vampires will never hurt you - Contrary to what some people in Strahd might think, Bert’s not a fucking idiot. Contrary to what Gerard and Frank might think, Bert’s not a fucking idiot.

Ever since this whole thing started, ever since Gerard and Frank cornered him at the open mic event at his junior college shortly after he decided to go and open his big damn mouth about that picture he’d found in the History of Strahd book that was collecting dust in the back of the library, the picture in which both Gerard and Frank were clearly present, dressed in typical 19th century garb, giving their best vampire smolder--Yeah. Bert has known ever since then, and ever since they had told him how talented of a poet he was, and that they were interested in having him perform at the parties they host for all the town’s leaders up at their old mansion on the hill, that they have had some type of secret agenda as their endgame.

He just hadn’t really expected it to be this.

[this is what happens when i get tired of bert being the bad guy in mcr fic and decide i have to do EVERYTHING myself] 1k

Ship: Frank Iero/Bert McCracken/Gerard Way

Candy Cane Vodka - "Yeah, Mikey, you accidentally made fucking peppermint Everclear. Congratulations and all, but Jesus Christ."

Mikey gets an idea on the road after finding a bargain bin book on homemade infusions. Experimentation follows, and Yuletide chaos ensues. 

ngl... i’m tempted to make that vodka mixture

Ships: Mikey/Ray, Frank/Gerard

drive-by drabble - SO SHORT ALSO LMAO <1k

Ship: Frank/Gabe/Gerard