#oracle warning: nsfw-v

[oraclesthroughthedark]

Tag Post

"It may have taken 3 weeks, but all systems are running, and the data recording system is fully integrated into the new base."

"Here are the classifications to be used. If any of them are of particular note to you, positively or negatively, please file it away appropriately."

[yinyuedijun]

When the Cult of Nikador conquers your city and sacks your temple, you are captured by the Crown Prince of Kremnos and taken as his war prize. (Or: The fall of Castrum Kremnos, as seen through the eyes of an oracle held captive by Prince Mydeimos.)

tags: romance, slow burn, enemies to lovers, hurt/comfort, concubinage, political drama, eventual smut. canon-adjacent (multiple timelines theory) with ancient greek historical and mythological references to inform world-building.

warnings: themes of war, sexual slavery, threats of sexual violence (none from mydei, all romance and sex with him is mutual)

nsfw content (starts in chapter 4/5): vanilla consensual sex but with tragic captor/slave dynamics rip, loss of virginity (on reader's end), corruption (on mydei's end; honourable man losing self-control etc), explicit tags TBD but trust they will be nasty

extended author's note with discussion of themes, characterization, canon lore and historical references, and character list for non-hsr readers.

PART I: ARES

PART II: APOLLO

PART III: POTHOS

PART IV: HIMEROS

PART V: ANTEROS

PART VI: LACHESIS

PART VII: ATROPOS

divider credit: @/strangergraphics

[fhrlclln]

I don’t usually do ask but I DESPERATELY need a qimir au smut😭 idk about what but I just know I need it

in the darkness | qimir

SUMMARY -> abandoned by her own family and order due to her curse and having no husband, they leave her on a remote planet surrounded by water and grey clouds, as said in her cruel prophecy that her supposed betrothed awaits for her there to take her. but this husband of hers is no ordinary man as he always wears a mask.

qimir x fem! reader

masterlist

GENRE -> nsfw/smut

WARNINGS -> eros & psyche inspired au, unprotected p in v, mutual masturbation & sensory deprivation

WC -> 6.09k

a/n: hope this satisfies your req, anonzz!! sorry it took so long for me to write!!

likes, comments and reposts are greatly appreciated !! <3

enjoy !!

the waves thrash against the rocks as the harsh winds blow across your face.

you clutch your cream scarf tight around you, the grey clouds loom above you menacingly and you can smell a storm coming. you blink wetly, your chest feels heavy and you feel somewhat terrified and betrayed. your father had forced you to wait here, leaving you behind with only a few words of a sorrowful goodbye. you couldn't blame him really... you knew you were cursed, as said by the elders in your order your family is apart of.

"you would never know love with that darkness inside you."

you could not understand what that meant. you were a normal child growing up, always following your family's footsteps and obeying the order. what darkness shrouds inside you? that it would forbid you to love or be loved.

"but someone will want her darkness and they will be waiting for her in a place surrounded by endless water and shores filled with grey sand. her betrothed awaits there, that is her destiny."

you thought for a moment that your supposed prophecy was just a means to make your family usher you to find a husband, for in your age you were supposed to be married by now. all of your sisters were bethroted and you were the only one without any prospect. your mother had been disappointed that you being the eldest was unwedded and you were the shining beautiful daughter she prided in, putting a lot of expectations in you. yet, after the elders had announce your cruel oracle, none of the possible suitors wanted your hand anymore which made your mother's frown deepen.

and you, in-fact, were more displeased in yourself more than anything. you had wished that you were born different... born normal. alas, you couldn't change your life. and here you are, waiting by the grey rocky shores, standing by the waters crawling up to gently touch your sandaled toes. you breathe in the sea air, anxiousness clouding your mind.

who would want you?

or instead... what would want you for you and your darkness?

the anticipation lingers as you watch the sky slowly turn more greyer. was night falling? was that how long you have been waiting on this deserted planet? the hurt inside you grows, and you shiver at the coldness of the weather. your lips tremble, and you curse yourself for being this way instead of living a perfectly normal life in coruscant. you look to the horizon of endless oceans, you had to accept you were either going to die alone on this planet or suffer the loneliness if you will yourself to make this your new home. you now stand up, opting to walk by the shores before the night captures the dull grey sky.

"are you her?" a feminine voice suddenly asks from nowhere. you halt from where you stand at the sudden presence of another person. "are you the wife my master was promised to?"

you turn your head around to be met by a young woman dawning a dark purple cloak and a wool black and grey gown underneath. her hands are clasped in front of her, you look up to her face but you are only met with her eyes that were slightly covered by her hood and her braided hair. the half of her face down is concealed by a bandana similar in color to the clothes she wears. you blink, registering her question and throwing away the curiosity in your mind about how she managed to appear in thin air moments ago.

"...yes." you merely answer with a soft and slightly questioning tone. her eyes do the talking and she seems relieved. you wait, curious to know who is she and what she is to the supposed "betrothed" of yours that she calls her master.

"come, he's waiting for you." she gestures her head to the caves up the island's hills. your gaze follows there, and a chill runs up your spine when you see the dark opening of a cave. someone is watching you. you look back to the strange woman and nod. she walks first and you follow. the gravel is rough underneath your feet in each step you take. you stay quiet, not knowing what to ask of the mysterious woman.

the path to the cave opening was an easy one. You should have noticed a dirt path when you first walked around the shores, and you wonder why you hadn't turned your attention to the rocky hills then. You look beyond the mysterious woman's shoulder and see that you are almost nearing the cave. you let out a tiny sigh of nervousness, and your mind conjures scenarios of what may lie ahead when you meet your husband-to-be.

will he be kind?

would he hurt you?

would he be neglectful?

"my master awaits for you in here." the mysterious woman's voice snaps you back to reality. your breath hitches, and you nod as you look ahead to see only darkness in the cave. she steps aside for you to enter and you step forward. before she could leave you behind, you stop her for a moment.

"I didn't catch your name." you said, and she halted her departure.

"mae, you can call me mae." she answers, her tone light than before. you nod and offer a small smile in response.

"thank you, mae." she nods at you and leaves you alone to face the prophecy of what lies inside. you almost wished that you had asked mae to stay for a while until you entered the vast darkness in front of you.

enough stalling now. your mind scolds you, and you finally take a step in despite the pounding rhythm your heart is doing. The darkness envelops you for a moment, but as you take small steps forward towards the little light at the end, you are met with an unexpected sight of a well-furnished room. the interior walls were of the caves,' but the interior looked like what your home used to look like in coruscant. it felt... nostalgic in a sense. you stand in the middle of the supposed living and dining room, waiting as you look around.

"hello?' your voice echoes throughout the home. you wait for a response, but your eyes catch an unusual object on the wooden dining table. you walk towards it, feeling an unexplained sensation of something pulling you to it. your gaze is attached to the peculiar object and once you near it, your mind is curious to see a saber of all to catch your attention. the saber was like the elders' in your order, similar style, yet somehow this one had a gravitating and oddly weird aura. you lift your hand to touch it, yet a voice scares you.

"you are a curious thing, aren't you?" a deep modulated voice interrupts your curiosity. you jump at the sudden presence of another. you swiftly turn around, clutching your hand around your scarf. you were met with the sight of a masked stranger dressed in black robes. a poncho-like robe concealed most of his stature, but the peek of his arms made you feel relieved that he was human.

this is your betrothed, then.

strange he's wearing a mask.

"forgive m-me." you meekly say and step away from the table. you hear him walk towards you and your heart skips a beat.

"welcome, wife." he greets you, and you look up at him.

"thank you, husband." you nod and your eyes roamed to examine his mask. it was eerily scary seeing how it had multiple lashes, and the design made it seem that it had teeth. but... you can't help but feel more comfort than fear for this mysterious husband of yours. this was entirely different than what you were dreading when you were alone by the shores.

"are you hungry?" he asks, and you shake your head. your fingers fiddle with the hem of your scarf, feeling shy all of a sudden. despite his mask, you could feel a smile creep behind it. he takes a step to you, and you avert his gaze even if you can't see what lies behind the mask.

"do i frighten you?" he cocks his head to the side, curious about your reaction. you momentarily glance at his masked face, wanting to question why he doesn't let you see his face yet you look away, not wanting to offend him.

"no, j-just... nervous." you confessed.

"why?" he asks, and you shrug.

"not to you! i mean, i'm nervous about what lies ahead... about all of this. it's baffling to think i already have a husband that i haven't met or known yet." you sighed at yourself, fearing you have ruined your first impression towards him. "sorry."

"you don't need to apologize. i completely understand your reasons." he assures you, and your shoulders drop at the sudden relief.

"what about you? isn't this prophecy of mine baffle you? that you would want my..." you try not to say that word that has been thrown around on your face.

"it doesn't." he suddenly holds his hand out, and you glance down in curiosity. "i am looking forward to knowing you, wife. whatever the prophecy might say."

you don't have words for that. even though his voice is robotic and you can't tell if it's genuine, you know he speaks the truth, somehow. you slowly raise your hand and place it on his waiting palm, and sparks ignite when the rough callous of his hand touches yours. it felt warm inside that this mysterious person had accepted you despite what was said.

and you feel like this is the start of a life you always wanted now.

・゜゜・．

the days passed since you have been living on the remote planet with your husband. you have grown a tenderness for the mysterious man even though you both barely know each other. he was kind, that was given, caring in a way you never expected, yet he was secretive for the most part. he would always go out, but he would still remind you before he departs, yet he never tells you what he does. in the days that you have been adjusting in his home, there were unwritten rules, or rather what he implies, that you have followed as you got to know him. you two did slept in the same bed, but for the first few days, he gently told you that he'd let you sleep alone for comfort. once you had told him that you were fine and you two were technically married in a sense, he did agree yet he strictly had said the lights had to be turned off.

that was one rule. you never should turn the lights on once he lays with you. and the second was mostly obvious...

you aren't supposed to see his face.

you always wondered why and you did ask him this night as you two readied for bed.

the room was pitch black, you were snuggled in the shared blanket as you felt his body near yours. the sheets shuffled, and you bit your lip if you should ask him the question repeating in your mind. your heart thumps as you hear him let out a relaxed sigh; you wish to see him, yet you know better than to not respect his one wish.

"why do you wear a mask?" you asked, feeling nervous, but eager to hear his voice than the modulated one.

you hear him chuckle; it makes your chest feel tight and how deep and raspy it is. "many reasons."

"can you tell me one?" you ask again, feeling courageous. his voice was beautiful to hear the first time you heard it. and it made you even more curious to see his face that matched his voice.

"why do you ask? are you eager to see me?" he teases you and you pout. he chuckles again, and you wonder if he can see your reaction despite the darkness. you are about to turn your back to him, yet you are surprised when an arm wraps around you, pulling you close to his body. your hands instinctively go to where his chest is, and you are met with the touch of smooth, warm skin. you feel hot all of a sudden as you feel his chest rise.

"for your safety, you can't see me." he merely says, and you blink at that. "i don't wish to put you in any harm."

"why? are you... ashamed of your face?" he laughs at that, a heartful one, and you are pleased to hear it. his hand caresses the side of your waist, and you shiver at the feeling; your legs rub against each other, and you wish to see his smile. the warm feeling of his body against yours, with the shame you can't see his face, is starting to get to you.

"on the contrary, i am not ashamed of my face, wife." his raspy tone makes you squirm for a bit as his hand caresses down to your hip. his touch wasn't foreign to you this moment; he had been respectful the first night when you two slept together, opting for distance. but as the days passed, you two had grown to entangle with each other. you both are technically married, and you knew at some point that this would become normal. but you can't help but mourn the fact that this came with the obstruction of the pitch-black room, even though it brought you comfort still. you loved it, the feel of his body to yours.

"i understand." you say to him as you lay your head on his chest. you sometimes hope you'd catch a glimpse of him in the morning but he always woke up before you. you dismiss the other questions in your mind you want to ask him, you need to show him that you wholeheartedly understand his reasons, no matter how vague they are.

"what do you want to eat for supper tomorrow?" he casually asks and you nuzzle your face against his skin. "will you be cooking?"

"mhmm, can you pick up a couple of cooking herbs? I'm hoping to make a stew for you." you respond, eating times were also a big disappointment for you. you always would eat first, and he would eat after, but you still cook for him, knowing he loved your meals from how he would always if you would cook again.

"alright." you feel his face nuzzle against the top of your head. this affection you two had made was astounding to think that you both were already acting like a married couple in mere days. even if you barely know what he does, you do know small things about him. he often bathes in the lagoon, since he would always smell like the sea. he likes to walk along the shores, and sometimes you'd join; you know that he was like a teacher to mae, saying that she's a student of his. you also know that he apparently is a heavy drinker, judging by the bottles of alcohol you'd see by the counter. and that he's also been living alone on this planet for a long time, and he apparently hates the rain.

"good night, qimir." you yawned, saying his name sleepily. and you also knew his name. the name was unique, and somehow, you felt like you heard it before.

"good night." he whispers softly as sleep takes the both of you.

you wake up suddenly from a strange feeling that's poking against your bum. the darkness still is blinding your sleepy eyes but you squirm at the strange sensation. qimir's chest was pressed against your back, and his arm was lazily draped across your torso. his breath tickled the nape of your neck as you unconsciously push your hips back, wanting to get rid of the object poking your rear. did he forget to take off his belt? you thought as you sleepily sighed, still squirming in his hold.

an elicit groan from him fully awakens you and you freeze in place. qimir's arm tightens around you, his hips suddenly press against your rear, and the poking sensation makes you ponder for a moment if you should wake him up. you close your eyes, still wiggling your bum until a tingling sensation on your neck stops you.

"stop moving." he whispers in your ear, hoarse and... agitated? you're confused for a moment until he softly traces his lip on your neck again. your eyes widen at the realization of the moment, and you suddenly feel embarrassed.

"sorry." you whisper back as you lay your free hand on his arm. "h-have i awoken you?" you try to mask the quiver in your voice of how close he is and the thing of his poking your bum.

"no." he answers, but there's a beat. "...maybe."

you're about to apologize again, but his lips suddenly trace from the nape of your neck to the side wherein he hovers above a particularly sensitive spot.

"you've been moving in your sleep." he says. "bad dreams?"

"not really." you confessed, and he suddenly kissed the sensitive spot on your neck. "q-qimir!"

"do you want me to stop?" he hoarsely asks as his hand softly traces the plane of your stomach.

"no." you immediately answer without much thought than to feel more of his lips and his addicting touch. his hand moves downward to where your ache is, the ache that has been pestering you for the past few days since you had been living with him. your mysterious husband, one you desperately want to see his face than his mask. the one that you have been imagining day and night since he welcomed you into his home despite the cruel curse that has been placed upon you.

"i have been holding back from touching you like this out of respect... but it seems like i have deprived you, my wife." you gasped when his hand gripped your nightgown as he scrunched it up to your waist. your grip on his arm tightened as his hand delved down to the center of your thighs slowly. "i did, did i?"

you could only nod slightly as he nipped your soft flesh. "please..."

"you sing so sweetly for me." he groans as his fingers are met with your wetness. your legs open slightly and you could feel him grind his crotch slowly on your rear.

"husband..." you whined when he rubbed soft circles on your pulsing clit. you wondered how he managed to do this in complete darkness. you let go of his arm, wanting to do something for him. he continues his ministrations as his other hand moves to fully embrace you since you were still laid sideways from him. his hand gripped the soft flesh of your breast while the other pleasures your core. your back was flushed against his hard chest whilst he grinds his hard cock against your ass.

you let your one free hand touch him from behind, it was a little uncomfortable that you had to find the prize you were seeking, but once you felt the tent of his crotch touch your fingertips, accompanied by his low groan, you immediately palmed his clothed cock slowly. the darkness of the room was making your senses sharp. even though you mourn not seeing his mouth open in pleasure from the way he is breathily moaning against your ear due to your hand palming his cock, it did make everything feel more heightened. his scent envelops your senses with his warm body heat has you letting out more noise with the way he's rubbing circles on your clit.

"want you inside of me." you moan out as your hand massaging his prick searches for the hem of his wool pants. your hand glides down from his abdomen to be met by the warm flesh of his cock. you grip him, and he bucks his hips toward your hand with a breathy moan. qimir removes his hand from your dripping cunt while you pump his aching cock.

"open your legs." he suddenly says, and you squeal when he suddenly grips the underside of your thigh and lifts it up. you obey him as you spread your legs slightly for him. you remove your hand from his crotch when you feel him shift in his position to lower his pants down. your heart is beating loudly and the anticipation gnaws you. the act of marital duties wasn't unheard of you from your sisters, your mother would always put on a strict lesson for them of what to expect on the night after their marriage.

a prodding sensation touches your wet entrance and you brace yourself, not entirely sure what to expect. you almost expect qimir to fully take you, but you are surprised when he rubs his cock slowly, making you let out a pleasurable sigh.

"you smell so sweet, so pretty, so beautiful..." qimir huffs as he positions the tip of his cock to your entrance. "and all mine."

you let out a moan when you feel him enter you finally. he's gentle and slow in the process, ensuring you were comfortable. he wraps his arms around you tight, as if you were going to leave. you feel your breasts spill out of your top as the cool air hits the skin of your chest. he cups one and pinches your nipple as he fully sheathes in you. you grind back, feeling full. the darkness of the room is a pleasant sensory sensation, you thought you would be disappointed at the aspect of not seeing him. but he made it pleasurable, which makes your heart skip a beat for him.

he thrusts into you at an agonizingly slow pace that has you pushing your hips back to him. he alternates gentle bites and sweet kisses from your neck down to the slope of your shoulders. you close your eyes, wanting to feel all of him as your free hand finds its way to his hair. you want to touch him as well, and you feel satisfied when you interlock your fingers with his soft hair.

both of you don't know how much time has passed. you both were too into the heat of the moment, not wanting to rush things but to just feel each other. your walls clamp around him as qimir's thrust went from being slow to now setting a steady pace. your moans and his groans fill in the void of the room. you could feel his thumping heart from your back and he could feel your heartbeat under his hand.

your mouth hangs open in pleasure. you feel yourself nearing your high as his other hand dives down to rub your clit. you call out to him, and he calls out to you. he fastens his thrusts, cock hitting that spongy spot in you, and you soar high. he lets out a moan of your name when you squeeze him tight with your orgasm. he shakily thrusts into you, and with a loud groan, he follows through, fucking both of your orgasms into completion. his cum spills on your walls, painting you with his seed. your wetness coats his cock entirely and he halts his thrusts, feeling spent like you are.

a moment of silence transpires, heavy breaths are only heard. his cock is snuggled inside you, and you feel exhaustion and sleep taking over. he loosens his arms around you, still holding you close. you hadn't realized that a small smile graces your lips as you feel him kiss your neck, soothing the intense aftershock. you caress the side of his face, and his lips touch your fingertips. nothing else is said other than sweet caresses and kisses on the skin. sleep seems to take both of you as you let exhaustion null you to sleep.

・゜゜・．

you feel like a whole new person waking up after that night. you were only disappointed to see your husband not by your side when you had awoken. but the sweet soreness of your legs and the dampness of your core were enough to rectify your displeasure of him not being beside you in the morning after. you wobbly did your morning routine and dressed yourself in one of the dresses he had gifted you, a black dress that matched his clothes and your own jewelry, and draped your cream scarf around you since it was cold.

once you had properly dressed yourself, feeling a little giddy when you looked in the mirror to see marks on your neck from his doing. you went out of your shared bedroom and were surprised to see mae sitting by the dining table. qimir was by his workbench, wearing his mask as usual but dressed in clothes you knew he would be going somewhere.

"good morning, mae." you smiled at her, and she nodded at you in greeting. her scarf that concealed her face the first time you met her was gone. you could now see her truly, which made you happy. if only your husband would do the same.

"good morning."

"do you want something to eat?" you asked her, going straight to the kitchen to prepare something for yourself.

"no need. i already ate..." she says, yet there's a concern in her voice as she looks at you. "are you alright? you look tired."

your cheeks heat up all of a sudden. "y-yes, i'm alright. why do you ask?"

"you're walking funny." she points out, and you hear your husband let out a robotic chuckle. you feel embarrassed as you shoot a glare at qimir from his workbench. mae stays silent, a little confused, but you change the topic, noting that they both seem dressed for something.

"are you two heading out?' you ask, and mae nods.

"i'm preparing a lesson for mae in euda. it shouldn't take too long as she will need to learn it herself." qimir answers you as walks towards where you stand. you nod in understanding, finishing up your breakfast.

"will you be here before supper?" you ask him, since sometimes he'd be late.

"i will." he promises as he caresses the small of your back, knowing you ache below. mae watches the both of you with subtle curiosity, and qimir seems to sense this. "wait by the ship, mae. we'll leave soon."

mae nods. "yes, master." you wave goodbye to her as she heads out. only the two of you are alone at last. he presses himself against, and it makes your heart beat loudly at what he's doing. you tilt your head to see his masked face, but you can feel his tension.

"come back safely." you softly say to him as you turn around, and his hands drop to your hips. he squeezes them as your hands caress his chest.

"always." he assures you. the way he's touching you makes you want to kiss him. and you suddenly realize you still haven't kissed him yet. you already had him inside you and the thought of you two not sharing a kiss baffles you. before he could leave, you stop him.

"i want to kiss you..." you pout and his grip on your hips tightened. "for luck."

you see his chest rise and you smile at that. his other hand lifts his mask up slightly and you watch in anticipation to see a peek of what he looks like. he holds his mask up and you are met with the sight of his pink lips surrounded by facial hair. you thighs clench, knowing that those lips were the cause of the marks that are on your neck.

"are you just going to stare at me, my beautiful wife?" a grin spreads across his pink lips. you roll your eyes as you tiptoe up, wrapping your arms around his neck to finally kiss him. his lips are soft against yours. you let out a noise when his hand gripping your hips pulls you close, and he deepens the kiss. you moan, almost wanting to pull him inside the bedroom, but you let go, and he seems to chase after your lips, which makes you laugh.

"go, mae's waiting." you could see him pout before he adjusted his mask to cover his entire face. you feel a little disappointed he has to hide again. he lets go of you, and you watch him leave, feeling happy. but the gnawing curiosity of what he looks like still itches you now, even if everything is perfect.

・゜゜・．

in truth, you knew in yourself that the one forbidden rule he had said would come to you. you feel guilty that you are still thinking about it... but how could you not? you lay beside him in the darkness again, your head laid on his naked chest and your body pressed against his. you convinced yourself you can live like this with him, that you can learn to love him even if you would never see him for what he is until you die. qimir made everything perfect despite there being clear flaws. you can't sleep, you feel restless, and the desire to see him is strong, but something else bothered you.

"you would never know love with that darkness inside you."

those were the first words the elder had said to you when she prodded into your mind and future. you were terrified... would you know love with qimir? you haven't spoken to him about what your prophecy truly is. and it frightens you to think that maybe this would all fall apart because of you. your brows furrow and a dark feeling encapsulates your chest as something calls out to you.

you lift your head gently, feeling through the room, careful not to wake your sleeping husband. the strong hum of the force calls out to you, so familiar that you cannot place what it is, but you know where it is. you quietly detach yourself from qimir, trying your best to make as little noise as possible as you guide yourself to stand up and let the force guide you. your feet walk on its own and you are pulled to somewhere in the dark room.

your hand stretches out, and you feel cold sweat envelop your whole body when your hand grips a metal object. you let out a shaky breath, and your fingers grip it as your thumb presses against a button. your eyes widened as a red glow enveloped the pitch-black bedroom. you gasped, you were holding a saber. a lightsaber with its color that was forbidden in your order, for it tells a story of its connection to anger, hatred, vengeance, and all things that were forbidden. you freeze in place, seeing that the hilt of the saber is familiar. it was qimir's-

"my love?" you turn around quickly to hear your husband's voice, still holding the illuminating saber. you watch in horror as the red glow reveals his face.

he's beautiful. his face is chiseled, his skin is smooth, and his messy black hair matches everything. even if red illuminated his face, his dark brown eyes are a wonder to stare at.

and you recognize him.

"qimir-" you were cut off when the saber in your hand suddenly flew out and landed on his outstretched hand. his black hair is messy, and his eyes shine a pain of betrayal towards you. your heart stops, and guilt washes over you for what you have done. he switches the saber off, and the darkness meets you again.

"wait, qimir!" you call out to him as everything happens so fast. In the blink of an eye, the bedroom door opens with light, filling the dark room again. you watch your husband without his helmet leave hastily and the one thing you feared most comes to you.

he's going to leave you.

your eyes water as you rush to follow him. a sudden gush of harsh winds makes you falter when you see that the front door of the cave has been opened. you follow still, desperate to make this right for him. you huff, stepping out to see the blue hour of the day. your eyes scan down to see him walking hastily towards where the lagoon is- to where his ship might be. your chest feels heavy as you quickly ran to get to him before he leaves.

stupid, stupid girl. the cackling noise of one of the elder's taunts you in your mind. always playing with the darkness.

tears stream down your face. how could you do that to him? the one thing he asked for you not to do, and you completely disobeyed him. your feet ache as the gravel wounds your bare soles. you see his figure near your line of sight, you had to make this right. you love him-

"qimir! p-please! i'm sorry." you sob out. he suddenly halts in his steps, his grip on his saber tightens and you fear for the worst. will he kill you? now that you have seen him. you stop in your steps as your chest heaved with utter sadness and guilt.

"you can't see me. you're not supposed to see me- why did you..." the hurt in his voice pains you.

"i'm sorry." you bowed your head, ashamed.

"i-i..." you aren't sure if you should say something. you knew his face back in the order, one of elder vernestra's students in her stead. the one that disappeared one day without any trace. rumors that he went rogue on the order, communing with the dark side of the force. and rumors that the order threw him out. while you were by the sidelines, doing your duty as the eldest daughter, you had seen him around years ago in the temple in coruscant. he was a knight and you remembered when one of your sisters gushed about a handsome knight coming out of the temple. tall, black hair, a charming smile, and a skilled warrior. you never once dallied with your sisters' hushed talks about handsome men. but he made everyone stare at him when he entered a room. it's a shame you can't remember his name back then, but all is pieced together now.

"and now you know where i fleed. you must have a lot of questions." he sighs as he finally turns around to you. your heart still beats loudly, seeing his face now. you stay silent, unsure of what to ask him.

"i don't have any." you decided, and that surprised him. "i'm sorry i did that."

his brows furrow. "that doesn't matter now. don't you understand? i am the one the elders of your order who warned you all about-"

"i don't care. you're my husband." you cut him off as you step towards him. his chest rises when you near him as you shakily place your hand on his where he still grips his saber. "they don't matter anymore, qimir. i haven't been in contact with them since i've been here."

"really? did you know that they threw you away as well. haven't you wondered why they suddenly placed a prophecy upon you?" he asks, and you think about that momentarily. he was trying to let you see the seriousness of it.

"i know..." you nod, deep-down you knew why they carelessly threw you away. maybe your own insecurity had taken over when they had said that to you, and you believed them.

"when i heard about your ridiculous prophecy, i knew they were using you to find me." he confesses, and you frown at that. his other hand lifts up to caress the side of your face. there's a tenderness in his eyes, and you understood why he chose not to let you see his face.

"but it seems like i find myself not caring about that anymore."

he looks deep into your eyes and you feel the weight on your shoulders lighten. "i love you, my beautiful, beautiful wife."

"i love you too." you say to him as you pull him down for a kiss. the morning sun shines between you both, no need for hiding now. qimir happily reciprocates the kiss, dropping his saber to the ground as he scoops you up in his toned arms. the salty breeze of the planet is a nice touch to this tender moment, wherein all are finally coming to peace.

and you were right, this is the life you always wanted now.

[amysteryspot]

Asteria - Thomas Shelby x OC

Cover by: @anesthesieport ( @elysiumeditions )

Summary: Leah expected many things for her life, never to be abandoned by the man she loved while pregnat. Much less falling for his cousin.

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Pairing: Thomas Shelby x OC, past Michael Gray x OC

Warnings: NSFW/+18 - age gap; mentions of abortion and childbirth; sex (fingering and unprotected sex - p in v); swearing; slurs (gipsy is used one time, I think); alcohol consumption; smoking; sof!Tommy (yes, this should be a warning); English is not my first language, and this wasn’t proofread.

Word Count: 12137 (my God, this should be a warning on itself)

A/N: Well, this started as an idea that I couldn’t get out of my head and I thought it would be a good celebration of me getting a job, so let’s ignore that I have been working for a month and a half, shall we. This is somewhat different than what I use to write/read, because it’s a somewhat helthier relationship between Tommy and Leah, and he is fair more soft than he is on the show, I think. If he wasn’t a bastard and dealt better with Grace’s death and all that. In the wise words of my dear friend @internalmess3, this is what could have been in a different setting of the show.

There’s a character named Rosalie that was a tribute for Rosie from @findinghisredrighthand. Go read “Tommy’s Red Right Hand” because it’s sooooooo worth it (both on AO3 and FF.net).

Stella is a name of Latim origin that means “star” and was chosen because in Greek mythology, Asteria was a Titan godess of nocturnal oracles and shooting stars (it varies, as everything in Greek mythology), and her name means “starry one” or “of the stars”.

Baby blues is defined as a temporary psycological state, right after childbirth were one can experience constant mood swings. It can last for some hours after the delivery up into some weeks. It’s somewhat of a lighter version of postpartum depression.

I have a feeling that I’m forgetting something, but I’ll leave you to read this because it will take a lifetime.

Song rec: Asteria by Alba Reche

When people said that life always has a way of surprising you, Leah could never imagine what it had in store for her. Yet, here she was, pregnant and abandoned by the man she loved, something that she never thought could happen.

Michael always had been loving and caring in his own way. Their relationship was a secret from the start. She worked with his mother and he was still getting used to his new family. It was only logical to wait to see if they had a chance of a future together before bringing the complications of a public commitment into their lives.

Time passed and the right opportunity never came. Leah wasn’t really worried about it, or so she tried to convince herself, even when the little comments about how Michael was such a catch and should be off-market soon, married to some fine lady, made her heart twist.

Tension was running high both inside the Shelby family and at the company, between the strikes from factory workers and the vendetta with the Changretta family. John’s life was hanging by a thread, Michael had almost died, it was terrible timing, Lead knew that, but the damage had already been done.

“What are you doing here at this hour?”

Tommy’s voice took Leah out of her trance. She made quick work of wiping away the remnants of the tears from her cheeks discreetly while getting up from Michael’s chair.

“I was only going through a couple of documents that Polly had left with Michael.”

She rearranged some papers for good measure before going around the desk to the door, but Tommy was faster than her and caught her arm gently to prevent her from leaving.

Leah looked up at him at the same moment that he let go of her arm and brought the back of his hand to her cheek.

“Were you crying ‘cause of those documents too?” he asked, staring back at her, “or is it because Michael is leaving tomorrow morning?”

The words were out of her mouth before she could prevent them.

“I have bigger problems than Michael leaving.”

“Do you?”

He looked at her for a minute, before his gaze fell upon the desk, more specifically on the wad of cash laying there.

She could almost hear the gears running inside his head.

“Ah, I see.”

“I need a leave,” Leah said, avoiding his gaze and trying to prevent her voice from breaking.

“How much time?”

“A week, maybe two.”

“Do you know where to go?”

Leah looked up at him, brow furrowed in confusion.

“To take care of your problem. Michael must have told you that there’s a woman who can help you. Used to be a nurse.”

She hissed at the mention, blinking slowly and biting her lips to avoid saying what she was thinking.

Tommy nodded, slightly.

“You don’t want to get rid of it, then.”

“I don’t know what I want at the moment,” Leah confessed.

“But Michael knows what he doesn’t want, eh.”

“Michael can go to hell,” Leah retorted, “him and whatever the hell he wants.”

Tommy hummed in agreement, licking his lips and observing her for a moment. Then, he turned to leave and motioned for Leah to follow him.

“Have a seat,” he said after they arrived in his office.

Leah did as she was told, observing as he poured himself a glass of whiskey.

“Would offer you one, but they say it harms the baby.”

She eyed him curiously as he sat down at the other side of the desk. Leah never thought he was the kind of person who would care about what a pregnant woman should or shouldn’t do. Even knowing that he was family-oriented, a lot more than most people she knew, Tommy never seemed like the kind of person to worry about those trivial things. For her, he functioned more as a provider, a protector of some sorts—but caring about those things wasn’t protecting, in the end?

“How far along are you?”

“What does it matter, Tommy? It’s not your problem.”

“It matters because I have a proposition for you,” he said, leaning back on his chair as he lit a cigarette and took a drag of it, the smoke swirling around him.

“A proposition?” Leah asked surprised.

“There’s been gossip around the company that you had someone. Nobody knew who it was, I mean, I had my suspicions, but you’re very good at hiding things.”

Furrowing her brow, Leah asked herself what he expected. She should thank him for saying that she was good at hiding things? Or should she feel offended by it? What did have to do with it, anyway?

“Sorry, Tommy, I don’t get where this is going.”

“It’s simple, Leah,” he said, inhaling the smoke before straightening himself on the chair, leaning his elbows on the desk, “I want you to marry me.”

To say Leah was shocked would be an understatement.

“I’m sorry, what?”

The way he said it, nonchalantly, not a hint of emotion on his face as he smoked, made it seem so simple, like a business transaction or a meaningless agreement.

“You’ve been working for me since when, Leah?”

She blinked a couple of times, trying to wash away the shock and make her brain function again.

“Since I was seventeen, I think.”

“Almost five years, then. It's been a long time.”

“Yeah, yeah it has,” she agreed, still not getting where the conversation was going.

“And you worked under Polly for all these years?”

Leah nodded, “Almost all of them, yes.”

All of these questions didn’t make sense. Nothing happened in Small Heat without Thomas Shelby knowing, one way or another, much less in his own company. Proof of that was how quick he joined the dots about her and Michael, or the fact that he knew there was gossip around that she had someone, even when Leah herself had never heard about it. So what was the point in asking her when he already knew the answers he was seeking?

“She must trust you, then,” he stated, flicking the ash from the cigarette on the ashtray.

“I like to think so,” Leah said, even though she knew it wasn’t a question.

“I have some plans, Leah,” Tommy said, extinguishing the cigarette and resting his chin on his joined hands. “Some plans that require some changes. And I would like your help with that.”

“Tommy, I sincerely don’t know how I can help you…”

“Marry me.”

It was as if her heart had stopped beating, “Why?”

“I’ll run for parliament, Leah. That means I’ll need a well-structured life, a family, so people can trust me and see that someone that came from the mud backstreets of Birmingham could make something of himself. That I could be something representing them,” he explained. “You’ve been working for us enough time to know exactly what kind of bad things we do, yet, you didn’t run away.”

“Nothing is black and white, Tommy.”

He smirked, pointing a finger at her.

“See, that’s why I like you. You’re a smart girl, who knows what it’s needed to survive around here. That’s why this will work for the both of us.”

Tommy got up from his chair, walking around the desk to sit on the chair beside her, elbows leaning on his knees.

“Marry me, I’ll take care of you and the baby, that would stay within the family, and you’ll help me with Charlie and politics. Ada always said that you were the only girl around here that knew her way around it. It’s a win-win for everyone.”

“Tommy, I… I don’t know if it’s a good idea.”

He sighed, not seeming angry, just tired.

“You know who I am, Leah. I’m not a good man. I can’t promise you love, but I can promise that I’ll protect you. You don’t want to get rid of your child, I see it in your eyes. I can help with that, and I can promise you that I won’t treat it any differently than I do Charlie.”

Leah sighed, pinched the bridge of her nose. “And in exchange for that, you want me to do what? Pose as your good wife? People won’t bite it, Tommy.”

“Why not? It won’t be the first nor the last time that an employer and an employee have an affair.”

She opened her mouth to speak, but Tommy raised his hand, stopping her.

“We can use the gossip to our advantage. Say that we’re keeping things quiet because you didn’t want the attention, or because of Charlie, but now that you’re pregnant we decided to do things right, eh.”

Tommy took one of her hands in between his, surprisingly gentle for someone with such a rough exterior.

“And you’ll help me, posing as a good wife to the public eye and being my consultant. You studied, you have connections with people that might be useful. I’ll need that.”

She bit her lower lip, turning her head a little to avoid his eyes.

“What if you change your mind?” she paused, taking a deep breath. “About the baby?”

When Leah looked into his eyes, there was no doubt in them.

“I won't.”

“Well, this went better than I expected,” Tommy said, shedding his jacket while Leah took a seat at the end of his bed.

“Ah, so you did expect trouble,” she chided, a smile playing on her lips.

He shrugged, a little smirk lighting his features.

“You’ll soon learn that you can’t predict much with Shelby’s,” he joked, walking to the desk beside the end of the bed and hanging his jacket in its chair. “Kinda expected some backlash from Polly.”

“Ah, for getting involved with an employee,” Leah said, looking down at her hands, suddenly self-conscious.

“Nop,” he denied, “for getting involved with you.”

Leah looked up at him with a frown.

Tommy scoffed, “She’ll probably give me an earful about corrupting you and all that.”

She could have laughed in another situation, but it felt wrong, and suddenly she felt guilty gnawing it’s way into her heart.

“I’m sorry.”

It was Tommy’s turn to look at her with confusion painted on his features.

“I’m just giving you more trouble than you already have.”

Tommy nodded slightly, letting out a deep breath before taking a seat at the bed beside her, taking one of her hands in between his.

His touch felt strange but good at the same time. They had started to play this game since that day at his office. Little awkward meetings to share information that two lovers would know about each other. In those two weeks, Leah felt like they had grown into some kind of a partnership. She wouldn’t dare say that they were friends, but he no longer felt like a stranger to her anymore.

Touch had been one of the practised topics. If they were to pretend to be lovers, they should feel comfortable with each other. It wasn’t particularly difficult. Tommy didn’t enjoy extravagant displays of affection in public, which worked to their advantage. His family would know better, though. There were little tells that would reinforce their argument to the rest of the Shelby’s.

Yet, even having held his hand more than a couple of times, the feeling of his skin against hers was still thrilling. It was different from what she felt with Michael at the beginning. Tommy’s touch was gentle, caring, uncharacteristically soft for someone that she knew could cut someone else’s eyes in a heartbeat. Michael’s touch was rough and unforgiving, not worrying with anything but claiming her, marking her as his own, even if nobody could see it.

“Don’t worry, there will be enough trouble for the both of us when this all goes public.”

She gave him a half-laugh, “And we still have to go through my parents.”

This time he pouted, reminding Leah of a child that had just been denied something they really wanted.

“Don’t remind me of that. They’ll have my balls for getting their daughter pregnant before marriage.”

“Well, I think my mother will be more than happy about it because it will secure me a rich husband and give her a grandchild altogether,” Leah laughed.

“It’s just your father I’ll have to worry about then?” he asked, jokingly.

“I’ll make sure to get rid of any sharp objects that may be laying around,” she joked back, making him smirk at her.

None of them seemed bored by their intertwined hands, nor did any move to disentangle their fingers from one another. Not until Leah started to get up.

“I have to go.”

“You can stay if you want.”

His words were hurried as if he said them before really thinking about it.

Leah blinked twice, trying to find the right words to say.

“Finn is out with Isaiah and will arrive God knows when,” he scoffed, “you can have the bed. I barely sleep, anyway.”

“It’s not that long of a walk, Tommy…”

“You’re pregnant and it’s raining. I won’t let you out in this weather,” his words were firm, leaving no way to doubt. “Stay.”

She nodded, recognizing the hint of worry in his eyes and the undoubted stubbornness in his icy gaze.

“Okay,” Leah agreed, “but on one condition.”

Tommy hummed with a hint of curiosity in his eyes.

“And what would it be?”

“You stay here with me,” she proposed, seeing the corner of his mouth turn up in a ghost of a sideways smile. “Worst case scenario is that none of us gets a proper night of sleep, which would be fairer for both of us.”

“Trying to lure me into your bed, huh.”

“Well, technically it’s your bed,” Leah smirked at him, “and for all is worth, in theory, I already have lured you into my bed long enough to be with child.”

He smiled, shaking his head.

“Mirthful little thing, aren’t you?”

She shrugged, but before Leah could say anything, Tommy spoke,

“Come on, then. To bed with your husband.”

Little was said between them after that. Tommy silently passed her one of his sleeping shirts and changed into his sleeping clothes. Leah climbed into the bed first, facing the wall and trying to ignore the bed dipping when Tommy did the same.

“Goodnight, Leah.”

“Night, Tommy.”

The heat of his body close to her and the sound of his breathing lured her to sleep quickly, giving her little time to think about any possible consequences of this newfound closeness with Tommy. She would blame it on the pregnancy,  but deep down Leah knew that tiredness had little to do with putting her so fast to sleep that night. It was the sensation of security that he passed to her.

In the following morning, the both of them tried to ignore the awkwardness of waking up tangled up in each other, after sleeping soundly for the whole night.

The wedding was an interesting affair, to put it mildly.

Tommy had already been married before, her family insisted that they should marry before she started showing, and they had to take into consideration his political career.

Leah had expected a smaller ceremony, something simpler that wouldn’t catch people’s attention, especially considering the circumstances. Soon she learned that the word simple was not part of Thomas Shelby’s dictionary.

According to the man himself, they had to show people that anything was possible even for a poor gipsy bastard like him. So, despite the short notice, the wedding was a big affair, full of posh people and talked about in Birmingham for a couple of weeks after it took place.

She didn’t have it in her to feel disappointed by it. Marrying had been a dream of hers since she was a child, but it had become a distant wish once she started working and fell in love with Michael. Leah knew that he wasn’t ready for such a commitment, not the way she wanted. Her arrangement with Tommy had been salvation and she didn’t feel anything but gratitude towards him.

If in respect to her or just for show, most of the paintings of Tommy’s late wife had been removed from the walls of Arrow House. Leah believed it was the second option, but was relieved nonetheless. She knew Tommy still loved Grace, couldn’t blame him for it, but it would be easier to live her life without the reminder that she wasn’t supposed to be at that place.

“Hiding from the crowd?”

Leah looked up to see Tommy’s reflection in the mirror and smiled shyly.

“Just touching up my makeup,” she lied.

“Feeling tired?” he asked, approaching her to stand next to the vanity.

“A little bit.”

He nodded, flexing his fingers, a habit he had acquired when he was avoiding taking a cigarette to his lips, she had noticed.

“This is probably not how you had imagined, huh?”

“Well, I did imagine fewer politicians around,” she smiled.

He smirked, perching himself at the end of the vanity, a solemn expression on his face.

“This should have been your day but I have the impression that it ended up being just about me and the business.”

She reached for his hand, squeezing his fingers, knowing this was his way of saying he was sorry, even though she didn’t think he should be, and touch was the way she used to reassure him everything was okay.

“I don’t care, Tommy. Really,” she assured him.

“Nevertheless, I should have been more thoughtful of your wishes.”

“You were Tommy, and as I said, I don't care. You’ve been doing for me more than I could have wished for, to be honest.”

“I want to make it up to you somehow, but all I can do now is make a vow to you and the baby,” he said, bringing his other hand to hold hers in between both of his. “I promise that I’ll take care of both of you and that I’ll do everything in my power to give you a good life.”

She and Charlie waited outside the room where the poll count was being held. His little hand was holding one of hers while her other rested on her belly.

He had accepted her quite easily, getting both her and a tommy by surprise. Maybe it was because he was too young, maybe because he was an easy child to be around—Charlie like almost everybody.

Leah took a deep breath, everything was harder now at seven months of pregnancy.

“Are you tired, Lee?”

She smiled down at the child. “A little bit, yeah.”

“Is it because of the baby? he asked curiously.

Charlie had been quite excited at the prospect of having a sibling. Leah hoped that didn’t change after the baby was born.

“Yes, it is.”

“Will they take long to arrive?” he asked, resting his hand gently on her belly.

“A few more months.”

“I can’t wait to meet them,” he sighed, resting his cheek on Leah’s belly.

She could swear her heart would burst with joy.

And that was the moment when they heard the sound of the doors opening. Tommy was the first to appear, a big smile on his face as his eyes settled on her and Charlie and one of the guards handed him his gun. His family was behind him as he descended the stairs, walking right to them. He kissed her, light and gentle, a hand on her belly, before crouching down to pick up Charlie.

“You made it,” she beamed as he straightened himself.

“We made it,” he corrected, taking her hand and guiding her to the stairs to meet the press on the outside of the building.

It was the start of a new chapter in their lives.

The sharp pain made Leah hold her breath. She had been expecting it, of course, but the real thing was a lot worse than what she had imagined.

“Breath, Leah. You have to breathe, sweetheart.”

Following Polly’s advice, Leah took a deep breath, trying to think about anything other than the pain.

“Almost done, love. Just one more push.”

Leah didn’t remember things clearly after that. It was as if she was underwater, the voices seemed too far away and everything she could focus on was the high-pitched cry in the background as she closed her eyes for a moment.

“It’s a girl.”

She let out a loud breath in relief. A girl. Yeah, a girl would be better. Opening her eyes, Leah felt the tears running down her cheeks as Polly brought the little bundle of covers to her.

“Here you are, sweetie, right in the arms of your mother,” Polly murmured to the baby, passing it to Leah.

The little thing screamed, making Leah laugh.

“I love you,” she said, running her finger through the baby’s cheek that opened her eyes to look at Leah. “Yeah, I love you.”

The women helped deliver the afterbirth, cleaning her and changing the sheets. Everything felt out of place in her body and Leah was still not sure about her feelings. The only thing she knew was that she would do anything for the little girl cradled in her arms.

“Let me see her.”

Leah heard Tommy’s voice through the door and a rush of other voices before the door opened and Tommy entered. He looked disheveled, no jacket or gun holster in sight, just his waistcoat and a crumpled shirt with the collar opened and sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

“I tried to hold him back, Leah, but your husband is a knucklehead,” Ada said, smacking the back of her brother's head, making Leah laugh.

“It’s alright, Ada”

Tommy’s eyes were glued to the bundle of covers in Leah's arms. She could swear there were tears in his eyes when he looked up at her.

“A girl?” he asked, voice breaking a little bit.

“Yeah,” she nodded, “come meet her.”

He approached the bed carefully, standing at the side of it for a moment, unsure, then looking expectantly at her, as if asking for permission to get closer. When she nodded, he sat down on the bed, getting closer to her.

“Do you want to hold her?” Leah asked, unsure.

He looked up at her, hopeful, “Can I?”

“Of course you can, dickhead. You helped make her, it’s only fair that you help take care of her.”

They both laughed at Ada’s remark, and Leah passed the baby to him.

Tommy was so careful, did it so naturally, that it was difficult to believe that the man sitting beside her was the same responsible for ruling the streets of Small Heat with guns and razor blades.

His eyes were on the baby, taking everything every feature carefully. The little thing stretched her arms out of the covers, opened her eyes and looked at him. Tommy smiled, one that reached his eyes.

He looked at her then, leaning in and pecking her lips, asking, “Have you thought of a name yet?”

“Stella.”

“Hum, I like it,” Tommy agreed, looking down at the baby that started to whine. He placed his thumb on her little palm, letting the baby's fingers curl around it. “Welcome home, Stella Shelby.”

“Charlie refused to sleep in his room,” Tommy announced as he entered their bedroom, “again.”

“Let me guess, he wanted to stay with Stella?” Leah smiled, taking off her earrings while looking at him through the mirror.

“Yes,” he answered, sliding the braces through his shoulders and getting his shirt out of his pants before starting to undo the buttons. “Said he had to protect his little sister from the monsters under her crib.”

She laughed, turning around in her seat to face him.

“It’s kinda cute, actually. Good thing he wants to be around, ‘cause I expected that he wouldn’t get used to having a sibling. Especially one from a different mother and a girl, on top of that.”

“Nah, he is enthralled by her,” Tommy assured her. “She has him wrapped around her little fingers.”

“Not only him, from what I heard,” she jested, making Tommy pass a hand over his face.

“Polly is exaggerating, you know.”

“It wasn’t Polly who told me,” she smiled, turning her back on him again to finish getting ready for bed.

“It’s just… They grow up so fast. It was like that with Charlie. I just want to be able to hold her while I can without her complaining about her father being too clingy.”

“It’s cute,” she said, receiving a glare through the mirror, “just like your son wanting to be around her all the time.”

“We are protective of our girls, so what?”

“Nothing. As far as I know, neither of us are complaining,” Leah reassured him, finishing braiding her hair and searching for something to tie it up.

The sleeve of her robe slipped from her shoulder, revealing the lace underneath. She saw Tommy freeze for a second, eyes on her skin and mouth slightly agape while he stepped out of his slacks.

They had been ignoring it—whatever it was—for a while now. Even before Stella was born there was an unspoken attraction between them. Leah always brushed it off as hormones or the fact that Tommy was, indeed, a handsome man, someone that had taken her in on a difficult time. But the feeling growing inside of her had nothing to do with gratitude.

He insisted that they shared a room. It would be easier to quench any doubts that people might have about their relationship because the staff would carry out the word. Tommy never made a move, always careful when touching her, gauging for her consent every time.

After Stella was born, she could think of little aside from taking care of the baby or trying to deal with the baby blues. Now, Stela was almost seven months old, Leah had learned the routine and started to get back into her old self, and these feelings started getting harder to ignore.

Tommy avoided her gaze, clearing his throat and turning his back to her when he caught her watching him.

She waited for a moment that seemed to last an eternity and then mustered the courage to ask, “Have you ever thought about it?”

“Thought about what?” he returned the question, without looking at her.

“About us.”

Their eyes crossed through the mirror, Tommy exhaled loudly and nodded slightly.

“Yes.”

“Why not say anything?”

“It would only complicate things.”

She got up from the vanity then, fingers untying the knot of her nightgown until she stood in front of him.

“And you only like simple things?”

“No,” he answered, his hot breath ghosting over her face.

Leah let the satin slip through her shoulders and into the ground. “Then let’s stop ignoring it.”

They met halfway, lips urgent against each other, hands eager to explore and keep each other close as if afraid that the other would vanish in thin air.

Tommy lost no time in getting her out of the nightdress, showing little interest in the intricate pattern of satin and lace—he was more interested in what was underneath.

She let out a heavy breath when his lips travelled from her mouth to her neck, licking and nibbling at her skin.

“You should know that I’m not the same I was before Stella,” she warned, suddenly self-conscious about her body.

His answer came in the form of roaming hands and a pleased grown.

“I quite like you right now.”

She snorted, “That’s because you didn’t know me before.”

“I’m sure that I would like you either way,” he answered, biting her earlobe, “anyway.”

He traced down her spine with a feather-like touch that brought goosebumps to her skin. It had been long, too long since she felt another’s touch in such a way.

She traced his muscles, kissed his neck and let her hands wander to the shaven sides of his head.

Tommy groaned at the feeling of her nails and was quick to bring them both to bed. Prying her legs open and nestling himself between them.

Leah sighed, his weight above her a welcomed feeling.

He left a trail of open-mouthed kisses all the way down her body—all around her breasts, her belly and navel, until he stopped at the waistband of her knickers, tugging it down her legs.

She helped him get rid of it the best she could, swallowing hard at the hunger in his eyes when he looked down at her, completely bare before him.

The back of his fingers ghosted over her legs, up to her thighs, until he brushed them lightly over her cunt, making her take a sharp breath.

“It’s alright, eh,” he cooed, “let me take care of you.”

Leah watched him as his fingers parted her lips and traced her slit. She closed her eyes, breathless, as he explored her.

“Eyes on me, Leah.”

Her eyes opened instantly, gaze fixed on him.

“That’s it,” he praised, slipping a finger inside of her, “good girl.”

Leah had to concentrate on keeping her eyes open, the sensation was overwhelming. It felt familiar and yet different at the same time. She watched, entranced as he kept a lewd pace, sliding his finger in and out of her.

When she whimpered, toes curling and gripping the sheets, he slid another finger in. It was too much, her eyes closed and she stopped breathing as Tommy started to move at a faster pace.

“Breathe, sweetheart. Breathe.”

He curled his fingers, brushing his thumb on her clit, running circles on the bundle of nerves.

“Tommy,” she cried out, gazing at him through half-closed lids.

He smirked, satisfied with the effect he had on her.

“That’s it, Lee, let it happen.”

Chest heaving and eyes closed, Leah concentrated on the sensations, the little noises, the turmoil of feelings inside of her. It didn’t take long for everything to come crashing down in a wave of pure, raw pleasure as she moaned his name again.

His lips found hers in the middle of the haze, bringing her back to present, her hands finding his shoulders, squeezing hard as if to make sure that he was here, that he was real.

Leah encircled her legs around his waist, his crotch brushing against her center, making them both whine at the feeling.

“I want you,” she breathed against his lips, “please.”

Tommy growled at her plea, making quick work in getting rid of his undershorts. The sight of him made Leah bite her lips, which made him grim mischievously at her.

Covering her body with his again, he grinded down on her pelvis, pulling a sigh out of her. Tommy leaned into an elbow, his other hand travelling to her hips, keeping her in place as he adjusted himself against her.

Leah brought him down for a kiss, moaning against his lips at the feeling of his cock entering her. Desire pooled low on her belly, the sensation so overwhelming that it made it harder to breathe.

“So tight,” he groaned, “so wet.”

She heard about sex feeling different after giving birth, but Leah wasn’t sure if all of it had to do with the changes on her body or more with the man she was sharing this moment with.

The comparison was inevitable: where Michael had been rough and demanding, Tommy was being gentle and selfless. Her husband’s rough hands bore a tenderness that she had grown used to over time.

Burying his face in the crook of her neck, one of Tommy’s hands slid down her body to grasp her knee, bringing it up to rest against his ribcage.

Leah whined in pleasure, rolling her hips up to meet his trusts, nails digging into his lower back.

Tommy growled, sneaking a hand in between their sweaty bodies, massaging her clit, making her swear under her breath as she clenched around his cock, making him smile against her skin.

“Come for me, Leah, eh. Come around my cock,” he breathed against her ear, “want to feel you coming all around me.”

One hard trust was all it took for her to unravel, between an unintelligible string of swears and sighs of his name.

He continued thrusting into her, riding out her orgasm and searching for his own release.

“Are you going to give it to me, Tommy?” she encouraged him, getting his attention.

He lifted his face to look down at her, mouth agape, a drop of sweat running down his neck. The ice on his eyes melted, replaced by molten desire.

“I want to feel you,” she pushed, moving her hips up to meet his thrusts once more, “all of you.”

“Fuck.”

Tommy came with a growl of her name, hands clutching her hips with an iron grasp.

Neither of them dared to move, not ready to pop the bubble that had formed around them. At that moment all that mattered was their skin pressed against each other, the mist of pleasure, the sound of heavy breathing and their hearts beating fast at the same compass.

“I think I might be falling for you.”

“Huh, there’s something different about you today,” Polly suggested, rubbing the tip of her fingers against each other, a hint of a smirk on her lips.

“That must be your eyes, Pol. I did nothing different today.”

“No, no, it isn’t anything you did differently, no,” she explained, taking a drag of the cigarette. “You have this glow about you.”

“Glow. Really?” Leah laughed, rearranging Stella in her arms.

“Ah, you can laugh all you want but I see what I see, love.”

“What are your girls talking about?” Tommy asked, walking through the door of the dressing room and going straight to Leah, kissing her on the lips and then kissing Stella’s forehead.

The little girl squeezed, happy with the attention.

Tommy then proceeded to shed his jacket and go to the drink cabinet.

“Ah,” Polly exclaimed, a triumphant grin on her face, “I see.”

Leah looked at her with a frown that only made Polly laugh. She watched Polly watching them.

His husband’s aunt observed as Tommy made his way back to the sofa and took a seat beside Leah, throwing an arm behind her shoulders and holding his drink on the other hand.

“What do you see, Polly?” he asked, taking a sip of his whiskey.

“How Stella is the spilt image of her mother,” Polly smiled, winking at Leah when Tommy looked down at the baby.

He put the drink down on the center table, leaning down to play with Stella’s fingers.

“That she is, right my girl?”

The baby giggled, happily, making both her parent’s smile.

“Come on, give her here,” he said, extending his arms to take the baby out of her arms. “Beautiful as her mother, ain’t you, eh.”

“If you don’t take care, you’ll both be competing with John real soon.” Polly laughed, puffing out some smoke. 

Leah was quick to protest, “Oh, no, no, no, no. I don’t plan on having any more children anytime soon. We already have our hands full with Charlie and Stella.”

“Oh, come on, why not?” Tommy quipped. “We have the means to hire nannies, it won’t be much of a problem having another baby around.”

“Easy for you to say when it wasn’t you who had to carry a baby for nine months and then push it out of you,” Leah exclaimed, making both Polly and Tommy laugh.

“Told you,” the older woman said, “if it depends on him you’ll be pregnant again in no time.”

“Well, I’m not complaining about the process of making one,” he grinned.

“Tommy!” Leah reprimanded, giving him a light slap on the shoulder.

“What, woman. From what I remember you were not complaining last night either, eh.”

“You’re incorrigible!”

“Yeah, but you like it,” he winked at her, tickling Stella when she whined.

“Mr Shelby, I’m sorry to interrupt but there’s a call for you,” Frances announced from the door. “They said it was urgent.”

“It’s okay, I’ll take it in the office,” he answers, getting up from the couch.

“Do you want to give her to me?” Leah asked when he rearranged the baby in his arms.

“No, I’ll take her,” he said, walking out of the room.

Leah was still looking at him vanishing through the door when Polly talked again.

“I thought the honeymoon phase would be gone by now but you two seem closer than what you were when you married.”

Swallowing hard, Leah said, “I think we were both too worried about what people would think about us. What they would say.”

Polly hummed in agreement.

“Then, there was the wedding and my pregnancy… Everything happened so fast.”

“Hum, yeah, makes sense,” Polly agreed, stubbing out her cigarette on the ashtray. “It’s good to see him happy, you know. It’s been a while since I last saw him this relaxed, even at home.”

“He doesn’t take his mind out of business easily, I noticed.”

“It was always like that,” Polly mused, a nostalgic smile on her lips. “His mother always said: it’s his cleverness that will kill him.”

“What was he like before?”

“Sweet,” the older woman answered. “He used to be shy and sweet. Always too worried and aware of everyone but himself.”

Making a pause, Polly took a deep breath. “But he has always been ambitious. Wanted to prove himself, because of who we are, what we are.”

Leah nodded. She had heard people spat the slur towards the family before. Never in their presence, not unless they wanted to end up blind. She never understood why people wanted to prove themselves better than others because of money or heritage, so it never made sense to her why some people had to prove themselves for anything. But Leah was a woman, and just because of that she knew that not everything made sense, not in the society they lived in, with so many injustices and prejudice.

“He just doesn’t know how to stop,” Leah comments.

“No, he doesn’t,” Polly agrees, taking another sip of her drink. “Or at least he didn’t, ‘cause it appears that you’re slowly teaching him how to.”

Leah scoffed, “That’s probably thanks to the children.”

“Don’t belittle yourself. I’ve seen the way you two look at each other. You’ve been good to him and I mean it in more ways than one. He has been more focused on work, more open-minded. And yet, he has been making it home more too. Passing time with the children, with you. That’s all your work.”

“Penny for your thoughts?” Tommy asked, making Leah turn around to face him.

She had been sitting on the windowsill, mulling over Polly’s words from earlier that day.

“It would be a waste of your money,” she answered with a half smile.

“You’re never a waste of money,” he assured, coming to stand at her side, making her lean on him and kissing her hairline. “Now, the truth. What is making you so gloom? You seemed alright earlier when Polly was here.”

Leah took a deep breath, trying to gather her thoughts.

“Polly was just talking about how we seem more on a honeymoon phase now instead of when we married.”

“Well, it makes sense. We were getting to know each other at that time, you were pregnant, things were different.”

The rumble of his voice through this chest had a calming effect on Leah, and she leaned in closer, resting her forehead against his sternum, breathing his scent as her arms tightened around his waist.

“What are you afraid of?”

“Of people connecting the dots some day,” she answered, eyes closed in fear. “That she will connect the dots someday. Realize that she helped bring into the world her own grandchild without knowing it. That I lied and took that away from her all this time.”

“Hey,” his hands cradle her face, tilting her head up to make her look at him, “We both lied, okay. This is not just on you. I have my share of guilt and so does Michael. Polly will understand.” Tommy caressed her cheeks, leaning down and bumping his nose against hers. “If anyone discovers it, so what? What matters is us and what we created. Don’t dwell too much over it.”

He kissed her then, and even though there was a gentleness in his touch, there was also hunger, need. A feeling that Leah matched in kind.

“Were you serious earlier?”

Both their breaths were heavy, mixed as they refused to let go of one another. Tommy was still holding her face, and Leah’s hands found their way to his wrists, keeping them there as if she wanted to prevent him from leaving.

“About what?”

“About having another baby,” she replied, trying not to shy away from his stare.

She had thought about his words after Polly left, but now it seemed like a bad idea blurting them out and Leah almost wished that she could take them back.

“Why not?” he asked, lips meeting hers again, teasing and tormenting. Awakening the fire inside of her like only he knew how. “Stella is almost one, it would be good for her to have another sibling. And considering Charlie’s reaction to her birth, I don’t think that he would mind either.”

Their lips meet again and Leah couldn’t suppress the mewl that left her lips when he lifted her by the waist, making her kneel over the seat, standing at the same height as him. His hand hovered over her body, coming to rest on the sweep of her ass, pressing her against his body.

“And I wouldn’t mind seeing you all swollen with my child inside of your belly again.”

Leah wasn’t sure what had sealed the deal for her, but she was certain that the way he talked about her previous pregnancy as if Stella was indeed his child had a huge weight in it.

Tommy had never broken his promise to her. He was a doting father to Stella and always treated her in the same way he did Charles. At first, she worried about having another child. It would be a lie saying that the thought never crossed her mind after they started sleeping together. They never had been careful and it was something that could happen even if they didn’t want it. She had been preparing herself to have this conversation with Tommy for a while, to think about which path they wanted to follow, how they would prevent an unwanted pregnancy.

Seeing him talk about having another child with her this afternoon as if it was the most logical thing in the world, as if it was evident that he would want it, made something inside of her melt at the thought of being pregnant again—one that would be planned and wanted.

Not that she didn’t love Stella. The little girl was the light of her life, but the circumstances of her conception had left a mark on Leah.

It was her time to lean in for a kiss. Her arms resting on his shoulders, hands scraping his scalp and entangling themselves at his hair as they devoured each other.

“Then take me to bed, Mr Shelby,” she panted against his lips, seeing the wicked smile on her husband's lips.

“As you wish, Mrs Shelby.”

It took them a few months of trying before Leah fell pregnant again. Not that either of them was complaining, the whole process of trying for a child had lifted the mood on Arrow House. Tommy’s brothers even joked that he was acting more like his old self and wanted to know the reason why.

Nobody knew of the news yet, only Tommy, Leah and the doctor they visited. Probably Frances too, the housekeeper was way too good at her job, and had grown on Leah along the years. She wanted to wait a while to make sure everything was alright before sharing the news, but, as Tommy said, you can’t really predict much with Shelby’s.

“You’re not drinking,” Polly pointed out one evening when they were all gathered together at the parlour in Arrow House, after having dinner.

Leah felt Tommy squeeze her waist in reassurance. She had been sitting on his lap for most of the night. It had been like that for a while. When they were in the presence of the family or alone, he couldn’t get his hands off of her.

“I’m just being careful not to drink too much,” Leah tried to change the subject.

“Ah, you’ve got yourself a good one, Tommy,” Arthur laughed, raising his glass in their direction, “the first Shelby that willingly chooses to mind her drink.”

Polly was having none of that though. Her eyes were still glued on Leah.

“No, no,” she disagreed, “it’s none of that. Stand up.”

“Oh my God, Pol,” Ada exclaimed, “in front of everybody?”

Tommy downed the rest of his drink, looking at Leah for permission. She nodded, briefly, a smile playing on her lips.

“There’s no need for you to check it, Pol. Leah’s pregnant.”

The room fell silent for a moment, while everyone looked at one another, and then it erupted in cheers.

Polly was the first to get to Leah, pulling her up and off Tommy’s lap, into a hug.

“Told ya. This one will keep you pregnant the most he can.”

Leah laughed, saying, “Well, I’ll have to be careful for the both of us next time.”

Rosalie Shelby was born on a fairly sunny day, in the middle of the afternoon, during summer.

If Leah could have a say in it, it was such a relief to have the baby out of her that she couldn’t even describe it. The summer had been unmerciful and she had had enough of waddling around aching all over her body.

This time, there was no getting Tommy out of the room while she gave birth. Ada stayed down on the parlour with the children, while his brothers protested that this was women’s business, and Polly tried to talk him out of it. There was no use. He stayed with Leah almost the whole time of the nine hours of her labour to welcome another little Shelby into the word.

To be honest, Leah was glad to have him with her. Tommy made all of her doubts about having made the right decision to have another child disappear with his soothing and reassuring words.

Now, hours later, they were still sitting together against the headboard of their bed, Rosalie cradled in her mother’s arms, while they waited for Frances to bring Charlie and Stella in to meet their new sister.

“She is very cute, but I swear to God this is the last time I will go through a pregnancy again.”

“What are you talking about, woman?” he asked, trying to sound irritated, but she recognized the hint of playfulness in his voice.

“Oh, don’t give me that look,” she warned when his pale blue eyes fixed on her full of hopefulness. “It’s easy for you to want a bunch of children when you don’t have to go through all the hell that pregnancy and childbirth are.”

“Common, it can’t be that bad,” he reasoned, snuggling into her side and playing with Rosie’s fingers. “Look at her! It’s not worth it?”

“It is,” Leah answered promptly, “doesn’t mean that it was a piece of cake.”

The door opened before they could continue the conversation, a smiling Charlie holding hands with a little unsure Stella came into view, Frances right behind. When Stella made no move to get closer to the bed, Charlie looked back at her, nudging her gently.

“Come, Stella. Let’s see our new sibling.”

Leah could swear her heart swooned. The sight of her children walking to her, hand in hand, was probably the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

Tommy helped Stella up on the bed, sitting her on his lap, and Charlie climbed up on her side, leaning his head on Leah’s shoulder to take a better look at the newborn, a smile on his lips.

Stella seemed a little unsure about the baby, her green eyes sceptical as she observed her mother and the baby.

Leah looked at Tommy, who seemed to take the hint immediately.

“Stella, this is your little sister, Rosalie.”

She blinked, once, twice, then looked up at her mother before extending her hand to touch the baby’s face. Rosalie opened her eyes at the feeling, grunting a little bit, before closing her eyes again.

Before Leah or Tommy could say anything, Charlie was quick to reassure his little sister.

“Don’t worry, Stells, mommy and daddy won’t love us any less because of Rosalie.”

A tear fell down Leah’s cheek and she dammed the hormones, placing a kiss on Charlie’s forehead ignoring the mocking smirk on her husband’s face.

Looking up at her father and then at her mother, Stella leaned her head on Tommy’s chest and then said:

“Rose.”

Things had been chaotic for weeks. Tommy had been having a hard time at the Parliament, Finn had been going wild to catch his family’s attention and Michael… Well, Michael had been misbehaving for a while,  but now he had blatantly ignored Tommy’s orders, losing a huge starch of the company’s money.

That led to where they were now. Tommy had gone to the Garrison to meet Michael. He had arrived last week, Leah had been trying to calm her nerves, but it seemed like an Herculean task.

Things between her and Tommy had been strange too. They hadn’t exactly been avoiding each other, but they were talking just what was strictly necessary. She was sure that he was hiding something from her, but she didn't have the energy to ask because her mind was already too busy with fear.

When he arrived home she was nursing Rosalie. He walked past the parlour, not acknowledging them, and went straight to his office. She didn’t hear the door closing, so he mustn’t be planning on working.

After a few minutes, she heard footsteps, and Tommy appeared on the door, walking into the room and going straight to the window, a glass of whiskey in his hand.

She waited, unsure if she wanted to hear what he had to say.

“Michel’s married.”

Leah stopped breathing for a second, blinking down slowly.

Tommy downed the rest of his whiskey, turning around to face her.

“His wife is pregnant.”

A shiver ran down Leah’s spine and it was as if she had travelled back in time. The look on his face as she told him she was pregnant, how nonchalantly he threw the roll of money to her, saying that a child was not on his plans, so she must take care of it… get rid of it.

She didn’t know what to feel. Betray? It seemed illogical and far from reality. She had stopped loving him a long time ago. Yet, Leah couldn’t shake the anger that rose inside of her when she thought that he was willing to accept another woman’s child but wouldn't accept hers.

Rose must have felt her mother’s distress because she immediately released Leah’s breast and started crying. Tommy was quick to take the child from her, resting her against his chest and shoulder, waiting for her to burp while trying to calm her down.

Mechanically, she rearranged her clothes, trying to gather her thoughts.

She could feel Tommy’s eyes fixed on her as she took a deep breath and said, “This can work to our advantage.”

He frowned, asking “How?”

“Michael probably never told her what happened before he left for America, must have wanted to impress her, and that means he didn't want her to know he left his pregnant girlfriend behind after leaving with his tail between his legs.”

He just blinked slowly, listening and absorbing her words.

She continued, “even if she knows, it won’t be a good look for him if people hear about it.”

“That is the only thing you’re worried about?”

She looked at him without understanding the meaning of his words.

“What more should I be worried about, Tommy?” she asked, confused, “My only fear is that he will make a fuss and take Stella from us.”

“He won’t take Stella from us, I can assure you that,” he guaranteed, voice steady as he walked to sit beside her on the loveseat.

When he reclined against the backrest, looking down at Rose that had stopped fusing and was already drifting off to sleep, she understood what he meant.

“You were worried that I would want him back now that he is here again.”

He seemed almost ashamed of his own feelings as he looked at her.

“You loved him.”

“Loved,” she said, “past tense. Even if I still loved him, which I don’t, I wouldn’t want him back, not after everything he said to me.”

“Are you sure?”

Leah smiled and leaned into him, her hand resting on the back of his head.

“Feeling insecure now, Tom? After all these years and two children?”

He scoffed, shaking his head slightly.

“It’s childish, I know.”

“It’s human, which is not something you show off much these days.”

Tommy chuckled, “Yeah, I know.”

“I love you,” she confessed, getting lost in his ocean blue eyes, as he turned to face her. “I love you and the life we created and even if you’re not the easiest person to deal with sometimes, and our life is not the safest, I still wouldn’t exchange it for a man that left his pregnant girlfriend behind because he didn’t have space in his life for her.”

“Not the easiest to deal with huh?” he asked, playfulness evident in his voice.

“From everything I said, that’s the thing you remember? Of course!”

“I love you, Leah, and I’m glad to have you by my side.”

Polly opened the door, signing for Leah to enter. Charlie and Stella hurried back in before her, and then she followed. The older woman smiled at her as she crossed the threshold, cooing at the baby.

“Meet the new member of the Shelby clan,” Polly announced, as Leah smiled and walked to her husband.

Stella was in his arms, and Charlie immediately took Leah’s side as she stood beside Tommy. They leaned in almost at the same time, meeting halfway to share a chaste kiss while people cheered around them.

Ada was the first to approach her, a hand gently caressing the baby’s cheeks.

“How did you name her?”

“Rose,” Stella was quick to reply, making them laugh.

“It’s actually Rosalie, but Stella is keen on calling her Rose.”

“It suits her though,” Polly assured, as she stood beside Ada.

Tommy’s brothers were the next to approach, Arthur quickly taking Rose from Leah, making even his wife smile a little. It was in the midst of the chaos that her husband’s family always created that she noticed the new additions to the table.

It was as if she was frozen in place. Her blood ran cold in her veins and for the first time in while Leah was glad that Rose wasn’t on her arms.

Michael had turned into a younger version of Tommy before he left for New York. Now he seemed different, almost a polar opposite of his cousin. His eyes were quickly traveling from her to Stella and Tommy, and she knew that it was just a matter of time for him to do the math.

And then there was the blonde on his arm—beautiful, young and dangerous. That was the first thing that came to Leah’s mind.

It was Charlie who took her out of this haze, taking her hand, making Leah look down at his smiling face. She pressed her finger gently to his nose, making him chuckle.

Tommy changed Stella in his arms, freeing himself to rest his hand at the small of her back and Leah let herself be enveloped by all the love they were receiving, letting the dread melt away, even if it was for a short time.

Polly had taken Charlie and Stella to her house and Ada was at her office with Rose. Leah didn’t even remember how she ended up sitting roosted up on Tommy’s desk, legs spread so he could stand in between them, his crotch right against hers.

They had just got back to discover each other yet again. Truth be told, most of the time Leah’s mind was too focused on the children to even think about having sex with her husband, but Tommy had a way to rile her up that was hard to resist.

“You were so good today at the meeting,” he praised, making her hum in approval. “All I could think about was how I could reward you later.”

“Tommy,” she breathed, being silenced by his lips right away.

The feeling of his hands trailing up her thighs, bringing the fabric of her dress with them, the way he grinded against her, the taste of whiskey on his tongue, it was all intoxicating enough for her to get so lost in her husband’s touch that she barely recognized the sound of the door opening.

“You should think about locking the door, you know,” Michael said, annoyance clear in his tone.

Sighing, Leah looked over her shoulder, annoyed and certainly looking as if she could kill him, saying, “and you should learn to knock on the door before barging in unannounced.”

Tommy chuckled right into her ear, helping her off the desk, a satisfied smirk on his lips.

She made quick work to make herself presentable, not bothering with the feeling of Michael’s glare on them.

“I’ll get the children at Polly’s and head back to London,”

“Okay, I’ll see you later then.”

Tommy leaned in for a kiss and Leah responded in kind, ignoring the audience, before taking her bag and coat to leave his office. When she passed by Michael, she said, “Mr Gray,” without waiting for an answer, she closed the door behind her.

“Sorry for taking so long,” Leah apologized, as she kissed Polly’s cheek.

“Don’t mention it. They have been a blessing.”

“Well, that’s new for Shelby children.”

The both of them laughed at Leah’s remark.

“Mrs Shelby.”

Leah looked up to see Gina coming down the stairs.

“Mrs Gray.”

“Beautiful children you have,” the blonde smiled, but there was something behind it that made Leah’s skin crawl.

“Thank you,” she replied, curtly. “Heard that you’ll have one of your own soon.”

“Oh, yes. Michael and I are delighted.”

Leah scoffed, “I can imagine.

“Where’s Rose?” Polly asked, trying to break the ice.

“In the car with Ada. We’re going to London, wait up for Tommy there.”

“It amazes me how your husband does so many things, considering he is not that young anymore,” Gina comments, making Leah give her a yellow smile.

“I’ll go get the children,” Polly announced, annoyed and rolling her eyes for only Leah to see.

“A little bit too old for you, don’t you think?” Gina asked, taking a step towards Leah. “Maybe that’s why you decided to have another child, make sure that he will stay with you.”

“Children don’t hold a marriage together,” Leah said, facing Gina, “and I don’t see why any of this should be of your concern. Maybe you should be more interested in worrying about your husband.”

“Michael tells me everything, so I don’t have anything to worry about,” Gina replied, Benin dripping from her words.

“Mama,” both children exclaimed together, running to hug her, and Leah picked Stella up, the girl instantly hiding her face against her neck.

“Thanks for keeping an eye on them, Pol.”

“As I said, no problem, love.”

“Say goodbye to your aunt, kids.”

“Bye, Aunt Polly.”

“Goodbye, sweeties,” she answered, giving each of them a kiss.

“Bye, Polly,” Leah said, leaning in to kiss the older woman on the cheek.

“Goodbye, Pol.”

“Bye, love.”

Leah turned her head to face Gina.

“Goodbye, Mrs Gray.”

“Mrs Shelby.”

“She isn’t Tommy’s, is she?”

Leah made her best to not let it show how much the statement had shocked her.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about, Pol.”

The older woman scoffed, “Yeah, you do know, sweetheart. There’s no use trying to lie to me. I’ve seen the tension rising since Michael came back, and although you did quite a good job at hiding your feelings, I know Tommy better. Losing money from the company is not the only reason why he’s mad at Michael.”

Letting out a heavy breath, Leah turned around to face Polly.

“How long did you know?”

“Not long,” she said, “but now that I do, I question myself how I’ve been so blind for so long.”

“I was hoping we weren’t that obvious,” Leah sighed, sitting down on the armchair by the fireplace.

“You’re not,” Polly assured, taking the other seat. “I just know my nephew too well for his own good. When you two married I should have known that there was something more to it than convenience and a baby, but you two seemed quite fond of each other, and I trusted you, so I brushed it off.”

“I own him a lot.”

“You owe him nothing. Tommy never does something he doesn’t want to, being it for good or not,” Polly sighed, taking a drag from her cigarette and leaning back on the armchair, before facing Leah. “You remember Grace, right? Tommy’s first wife.”

“I know about her, yes, but I don’t remember that much from when she was alive. We’ve only met a couple of times.”

“Huh, good for you. She was no good,” Polly flicked the ash from her smoke on a nearby ashtray, the disgust evident in her features and her voice. “She was a traitor, a liar, but Tommy was blinded by love.”

Leah had seen the photographs and paintings. She had overheard the maids talk about Tommy’s late wife. Michael himself had said a thing or two about her, so Leah knew that nobody in the family fully accepted Grace.  Tommy didn’t like to talk about her, she was never sure if it was because he still loved his late wife or because he didn’t want to upset her.

She wasn’t upset by it though. She just couldn’t be. Leah knew what it was to love somebody like that and she understood that you never loved two people the same way. Tommy loved her, he had strange ways to show it,  but Leah knew. Grace would always be his first wife, the mother of his child, but she wasn’t here anymore, Leah was.

“They seemed very fond of each other.”

Polly hummed, blowing out some smoke. “They wouldn't last.”

Leah frowned, “Do you think?”

“Oh, I know, Lee. She wanted to change him. Wanted the good without the bad. You don’t change a man like Tommy.”

Leah said nothing to that, she knew too little of Grace and her relationship with Tommy to judge. On one thing she agreed with Polly, though—you could never change anybody, not unless they wanted to.

There was silence between them for a long moment until Polly spoke again.

“When he announced that you two would marry because you were pregnant, I was torn between thinking that it would be like Grace all over again or that everything was just a pretence because he wanted to run for parliament and needed the image of a good family man.”

Leah chuckled, “Well, you were not entirely wrong.”

“What happened?” Polly asked, staring at her.

“Do you want the short answer or the long one?”

“Tell me everything.”

After taking a deep breath, Leah began,

“It started as something casual, no strings attached. Both of us had just started working at the company, Michael was still getting used to all of you...  I was drinking with some friends one night at the Garrison, he arrived with Isaiah… it just happened.”

To be honest, Leah didn’t remember much from that first night. They were both on the verge of being drunk, so they headed to her flat between giggles and sloppy kisses. After stumbling through the place knocking off countless decoration items, they crumbled on the bed in a mess of limbs and wandering hands.

Everything was rushed and messy, not the best night either of them had had, but for some reason, before leaving in the morning, Michael left her a check for the broken items scattered all over her floor and a note, asking for a proper date.

“From them on, we kept sneaking around. It was practical, we understood each other, we were not supposed to catch feelings, but then it started to be something more,” Leah sighed, leaning back on the armchair, her gaze on the fireplace, “at least for me”.

At the time, Leah didn’t consider that the feelings could be one sided, but since after he left, the thought seemed to make more and more sense.

“We agreed that keeping it a secret was for the best. I worked under your supervision, he was still unsure of everything, we didn’t want to rush things, and then, the vendetta happened, Michael got injured and I… I…”

It hurt, remembering that day. It hurt so much that she had tried to forget that conversation altogether, but it was impossible.

“Then I discovered that I was pregnant.”

“You told him?” Polly asked, tentatively, as if she was afraid to hear the answer.

“Yes. After Tommy discovered that he had lied to him about the ambush and gave the order for him to go to America.”

Polly swallowed hard, crushing the cigarette butt onto the ashtray.

“What did he say?”

Leah scoffed, a lonely tear running down her cheek as she said, “He picked a stash of money from the safe and gave it to me. Said that he knew a woman that could take care of it, she would be discreet. I could take a week of leave from the company, say something about personal problems or overdue vacations. Nobody needed to know.”

Polly swore, getting up to serve herself some alcohol, before returning to hear the end of the story.

“I questioned him, said that I didn’t want to get rid of the baby. Then he said that he couldn’t do anything else because he had other problems at hand and had to leave for America the next morning. It was the last time I talked to him until now.”

“That fucking boy, I swear…”

Leah laughed without humor, observing the older woman take a large gulp of her drink.

“How did you end up with Tommy?”

“He knew about Michael and I. When he found me sitting at Michael’s desk that night, he came to me and offered me a deal. I would marry him, he would say that the baby was his, and I would support him through the elections and take care of Charlie.”

“Huh, sounds like him. Turning everything into business.”

Leah smiled, slightly.

“Somewhere along the way things changed, though,” she confessed, making Polly smile. “It wasn’t just business anymore, and honestly? Marrying him was probably the best decision I have taken in a long while.”

“You won’t think like that in ten years,” Polly joked, and the two laughed.

“Did he say something to you? About Stella?”

There was no need to clarify who he was, Polly knew better.

“No,” she denied, “he was strange after the meeting when we presented Rose, but he didn’t say anything.”

“Do you think that she knows?”

“Probably,” Polly scoffed, “she seems to know more than I would like her to. You should be prepared because they’ll want to take advantage of it.”

“I’ll talk to Tommy, prepare ourselves for whatever may come.”

Leah had no idea how things came to this. Well, in truth she did. After all, both she and Tommy knew that it was just a matter of time before the truth would come to light. She just didn’t expect that it would happen during a family meeting.

Tension had been brewing between Tommy and Michael since the latter ignored her husband's advice and lost money from the company. Things only got worse after Michael came back to England, and it came to a turning point in the middle of the meeting in the Garrison, right after Michael and Gina made the boldest and most unreasonable proposition Leah could think off—they wanted to take over the company, make Tommy non-executive chairman, because, apparently, the American’s didn’t want to deal with a backstreet razor-gang.

Leah would have laughed if the next thing Michael said didn’t make the breath caught in her throat.

“You should feel grateful that I’m being benevolent,” Michael smirked at you, before looking back at Tommy. “We both know that I could do far more damage than that.”

Tommy scoffed, “Please, enlighten us what damage you could make.”

“I could claim Stella. She’s my child after all.”

The silence that fell in the room could be cut with a knife.

“That’s bullshit,” John exclaimed from his spot next to Arthur.

“Is it, Leah?” Gina asked you, a vicious smile on her lips. “You never told them the truth, sweetheart?”

The fear you felt was replaced by a swelling rage that made you get up from your chair, breath uneven and fists clenched. Tommy held you back by placing a hand on your forearm. You glanced at him, nodding slightly, letting him know that it was okay. The cat was out of the bag now, but if Michael thought that she wouldn’t fight back, he would discover that he was fairly mistaken.

“Stella is Tommy’s, she always was and always will be, because you never wanted anything to do with her. She wasn’t on your plans, remember?”

Michael grew pale, not expecting you to reveal the truth so easily—the whole truth. Gina squeezed his hand, making him come back to reality.

“It doesn’t matter now, does it? What would people say about Mr Thomas Shelby OBE MP stealing the child of his head accountant, his cousin?”

It was your time to sneer at Gina’s remark.

“Oh Mrs Gray, I think people would be quite delighted with a man that took in a pregnant woman that was scorned by her lover and raised her child as his own because that’s the truth.”

Tommy squeezed her hand in support, and she continued, “Did your husband tell you the whole story? Did he tell you what he said to me before he left?”

“What? He told you to get rid of it?” Gina mocked, “Well, you should have. A single woman getting pregnant out of wedlock should…”

“Like you?” Leah interrupted her, making Gina’s eyes go wide for a moment before she recovered. “Because if I should get rid of my child you should have too. After all, getting pregnant out of wedlock is such a shame that you had to trap your husband in a marriage because you are pregnant.”

“As you did with yours?” she sneered.

“I’ve proposed to Leah, not the other way around,” Tommy was quick to say. “I always knew what I was getting into, and I did it with my eyes wide open.”

“So, Michael, if I was you, I would be more worried about your own reputation and not Tommy’s. Because at the end of the day, people love a tragic love story. Can you imagine how much they will love Tommy for taking in his cousin’s pregnant girlfriend after he left her? After he told her to get rid of their child and leave for America?”

“Huh, people will love him,” Lizzie laughed. “This will lift his reputation more than anything he ever did.”

“Exactly,” Leah agreed. “So you can come back to America or wherever the hell you want to with your empty threats. You won’t be able to stain Tommy’s reputation and you certainly won’t take Stella from us.”

“I’ll make sure of that,” Tommy assured, “I have the means and the contacts too.”

Tommy helped Leah put on her coat, she picked the papers Michael had left at the table—his proposition—and threw it in the fire, making Tommy laugh before he offered her his arm. She took it, making way to the pub’s door, but before leaving Leah turned around and called Michael’s name.

Michael stared back at her dumbfounded, as everybody turned around to watch the scene unfold. 

Reaching inside her pocket, Leah caught the oddly familiar stack of notes, throwing the roll of money at him—the same one he had given him to get rid of Stella.

“I think this belongs to you.”

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