#otp: Auristinien

[blindingspark]

Seldom did they expect gestures of affection from their companion, regardless of telling him of their woes and worries. Yet the fleeting moments of affection were treasured all the same.

[blindingspark]

Solace

The night before the nadaam proves a harrowing one as the warrior of light grapples with old wounds from their former homeland, though a surprise visitor serves as a much needed balm. Rating: Mature Pairing: Estinien/WoL Notes: This one includes a bit of backstory lore for my wol! With that said... CW for blood, violence and mentions of child endangerment

Spinning, racing, chaotic.

The distress felt within the stray au ra as they paced in the nook they had hidden themselves away in was more than palpable, hands trembling and tail curling tight around themselves. They could scarce look to the horizon- to the entrance to Bardam's Mettle where their trial awaited upon sunrise- without feeling their stomach wrench in response; the trial itself hardly elicited a flicker of concern for them, but rather the beast they were to conquer.

Through panicked breaths sucked in through their teeth, Auri reached to rub their eyes of the dampness welling in their eyes with the moon as their only witness to the display, gleaming and full as it hung high in the sky over the Steppe's rolling plains, nearly offering comfort yet falling short. They attempted to calm themselves by steadying their breaths, Once you've tended to this trial- to this estranged lordling's whims… you can go. Never again do you have to step foot here, never have to worry about seeing another of those feathered abominations again, never again…

A frustrated sigh then left them, sniffling and swallowing down their frayed nerves and finally looking to the landscape around them again… tentatively turning their attention to the jagged chasm they would be venturing through and to the caves, to the roosts. The dredged up memories creeping forth and to the forefront…

—

The world around them was blurry, the young au ra's mind more blearily focused on the warm dampness staining her coat and dribbling down their arm- the torn garment framing the gaping wound upon their shoulder. The sight of exposed bone was enough to make her belly turn, whimpering as they buried their face in the hair of their friend… their friend, she recalled, their only friend… he had found her tucked behind a rock clinging to their arm 'to keep it from falling off', and now ran as fast as his little legs could to carry them- to safety of the Ura tribe's village, calling out to the adults who kept watch along the perimeter,

"Someone help! Kiyo- she's… she's hurt!" Their friend yelled, though the younger au ra could barely lift her head to see that he had carried them all the way home. The concerned mutterings and gasps of the other tribe members faintly reached them, the only voice clearly coming through was that of a grown man, approaching the two children and kneeling down beside them.

Kiyo groaned and looked up to see the older au ra's face contorted in agony, recognizing the blurred figure as her father as he drew close,

"Oh, my little gem… what happened to you?" He whispered, reaching to carefully scoop her into his arms and holding her close- a new dampness soaking into her hair as he trembled and wept. 

"S-some of the other kids… I think they dared her, Kiyo was over at that Yol nest…" the boy muttered, pointing to the cliffs in the distance, "I saw them go there earlier, but I thought it was a bad idea and didn't go with them- I'm really, really sorry-"

"You saved our little one, you don't need to apologize…" another voice spoke up- Kiyo's mother, her features etched into a conflicted scowl as she looked to the yol roost, her voice tense when she spoke next, "We need to tend to her, where's the healer?"

An older auri man waved, approaching with his satchel of herbs and remedies, "I came as soon as a commotion started- 'tis not often we get the little ones yelling when they return to the village," he said, approaching the father and carefully kneeling down, reaching to gingerly examine the auri child and speaking gently, "Now, let's see…"

The young boy inched closer as the healer tended her wound, his own tail drooping and turning his attention to the father, "Do you think she'll be okay…?"

The older's mouth pressed to a firm line, gaze settling on the young au ra and struggling to maintain his hopeful demeanor, nodding in spite of his worries, "Aye… she'll need time, but she- she's a strong one, always has been."

His tentative confidence wavered as Kiyo's uninjured hand gripped his shirt, whimpering into the fabric as the healer did his work, the flow of blood seeming near-endless despite the mending…

—

As if snapping back into the present Auri's gut turned anew at the memory, that fateful evening that would have claimed them were it not for their only friend at the time; they could recall the unnerving sensation of torn flesh and bone, the way their head swam at the steady trickle of blood from their being, the way they had consigned themselves to passing into the embrace of the gods as they bled-

The mage turned and braced themselves against the rocky cliff face, their dinner spilling onto the grass and leaving them gasping for breath, spitting out what remained and cursing themselves for letting their guard down and agreeing to come here-

"Seems you're in no shape to be traveling if you can barely keep a meal down." a sudden voice, gruff and familiar, spoke up behind them; the au ra stiffened, looking over their shoulder and lingering as they gawked in disbelief,

"Estinien…?" They managed on a hoarse whisper after a too-long pause, seeing his head tilt slightly,

"You didn't seem the type to reminisce about your homeland," he replied, stepping closer and looking them over, "Though given your current state, it's a little more complicated than that, isn't it?"

The mage turned to face him slowly, brows furrowed and studying him as though he would disappear into thin air, "Esti…" their expression turned to a pained look, voice cracking when they spoke, "Where were you?" 

His own expression hardened this time, jaw clenching as he sought the best answer, loosely crossing his arms and letting his gaze fall to the ground,

"I felt it best to take my leave for a time after recovering from Nidhogg's influence- to reflect and make amends where I could," the dragoon began, looking them over again, "But I neglected to let others know of my whereabouts, it wasn't necessary-" a slight wince this time, upon seeing the unwavering look the mage held him with, "I didn't feel it was necessary, though I'll work on apologizing proper at a later time… What are you doing here?"

Silence accompanied their lingering stare, eventually losing what little energy they had and sighing, reaching to fidget with the seams of their gloves, "I did not come here of my own volition, to start," murmured Auri, looking to their surroundings and settling on the Dragoon again,  "I feel it may be best to discuss this away from the cold."

Estinien opened his mouth to speak, then closed it as the mage turned on their heel to have him follow, leading him to the outer edge of the nearby settlement and ducking their head as they entered one of the spare yurts, silently going about stoking the campfire within.

It was a long moment before Estinien would find his words, 

"Not of your own volition, eh? I had heard about a scuffle in Yangxia a few days past, and given the details it seemed the sort of mess you usually find yourself dealing with."

Auri paused in the midst of removing the more cumbersome pieces of their garb, gaze fixated on the nearest beam and feeling their tail instinctively curl in thought, "Ah… Aye, I accompanied one of my companions on an impulsive assassination attempt knowing the Crown Prince was visiting Doma," they said, "A rather fearsome devil, I can understand his reputation- but it was suggested we… come here. Seeking the aid of the locals and finding someone of importance as well."

This time their teeth grit, wringing the strap of a harness they had been wearing, "My stomach is wrenched every which way- I do not wish to be here but I cannot stand to see the people here used for another's gain just so he can force their favor, they are still my people and were left well enough alone until that spoiled lordling took it upon himself to-"

"Auri." 

They winced, then looked to their companion, a hopelessness peeking through in their voice, "I cannot handle being here much longer but I don't know what to do…" 

Estinien lingered on them briefly before a sigh left him, "You're feeling pulled this way and that all over again, aren't you? Out of control despite what others try to tell you." 

A small nod.

Estinien hummed softly this time, a rather thoughtful sound, 

"You could come with me, have a taste of an adventurers life again for a bit. I turned in my official title while I was bedridden," he said, briefly showing a rather impish smirk,  "Only if you wish it, though."

Auri's gaze remained locked onto him, weighing their options and his newfound proposal and sighing, resuming setting aside the satchels and gear leaving only their armors loose underclothes; 

"I… I want to. I truly do, but…" their hands began to fidget again, "I'm in deep, I think. Too deep to simply run away from…" 

Chewing their lip this time, they studied their companion in the firelight, hoping to glean some clue about what swirled in his mind,

"Could you… could you stay the night? You're welcome to leave come sunrise." 

His brow perked, "A bit lonely otherwise, are we?" 

"More than most realize." Auri said quietly, watching Estinien evenly and noting the faint nod he gave, walking over to the nearby basin and fetching a drink of water, a touch surprised as he then brought the cup to them,

" 'tis mighty uncomfortable to try and sleep with a burning throat, mind you." The dragoon noted, watching Auri nod and take the offered drink, taking a long swig of water and clearing their throat of any remaining roughness after.

The au ra set aside the cup after and sighed, leaning to rest their head on his arm with a thump and feeling Estinien still, silently eyeing them yet hardly daring to move,

"I haven't…" they chewed on their lip in consideration, "I haven't spoken of my childhood, have I? Why I left?"

"Briefly and lightly, I never thought it respectful to push for details you clearly did not seem keen to divulge." He replied, then watching them straighten themselves and nod- the fidgeting of their hands resuming from earlier, 

"Perhaps we could… settle in. I would prefer to not relive the memories for long, but I would…" Auri paused, "It would give more clarity, and after all we've seen and endured so far I feel you have earned the right to know."

Estinien gave a conceding dip of the chin, following his companion to the cushioned seating and taking a moment to remove the more bulky pieces of armor before he settled down, gaze following the mage as they gingerly sat on the edge and appeared to seek where they wished to begin,

"It…" they sighed, reaching up to scratch their head, "When I was about… eight summers old, I took a bet proposed by some of the other children who would frequent Reunion, a rather stupid bet but… a child is often wont to seek approval from their peers."

Their attention lowered to the floor, studying the rugs strewn about as they found the right words,

"I was asked to retrieve something from one of the nearby yol nests- a feather, an egg, really it's such a trivial detail I can barely recall it- and… much to my misfortune, the beast itself had returned before I could escape as intended." Their shoulders slowly bunched this time as they traversed the memory, still staring at the floor, "Admittedly I'm quite lucky the yols talon did not strike as deeply as I had feared, I would have lost my arm completely at such an age otherwise, and bled out had an old friend not sought me out because he worried so."

Idly, their hand had reached up to rest on the massive scar that stretched across their shoulder, clenching their jaw as it faintly ached with the recollection, "It was the final straw for my parents, and when I was healed enough to make the journey safely we settled in Kugane; I helped attend their new shop when I could, but…"

The mage froze as they felt his hand tentatively brush against the covered scarring that trailed down their shoulder to their upper back, curious of such a gesture given his nature,

"It was good of them to do so," he said after a moment, tone unusually distant, "It would have been a shame had you lost your life or your arm, the star may well have never changed were it not for you."

Auri blinked, their cheeks warming at his words, "That's rather lofty praise from the Azure Dragoon, but… I suppose you're not far off," their gaze fell to watch the way he carefully ran his thumb along the edge of marked flesh hinted at beneath the fabric of their shirt, "Despite the heartaches and obstacles, I cannot say I regret this. Not when it has granted me the honor of companionship along the way."

"You should rest, and I'll try not to vanish before you rouse again." Estinien mused dryly, earning a snicker from Auri who then eased more fully as they drifted off to sleep, the deepened rise and fall of their chest indicating their exhaustion had finally won out.

His hand slowed in its careful traversal, nodding faintly as he stewed on their words before feeling them slowly shift to lean against him, freezing as their head rested upon his chest; the silence that filled the space dissipated any awkwardness while the two eased, being only carefully broken with the dragoon adjusting to rest his arm around them,

He turned his attention then to the campfire, mind turning with all he had come to terms with during his tenure away from Ishgard, the realization he had made the last time he had seen Auri gnawing at him most incessantly. Even now, as they rested, he felt the steady grasping claws in his chest to keep such feelings pushed down, they deserve far better than what I could dare to dream of providing, especially now of all times, he thought, hardly realizing the idleness with which he drew his hand along their arm as they slept.

Keeping a renewed sigh of frustration quieted, the elezen propped his other arm upon some of the extra cushions and leaned to rest his head on his palm- letting the comforting warmth of the yurt and company he kept lull him to sleep soon after.

~

The faint acknowledgement of a hand gently nudging them stirred Auri from their sleep, groaning and peeking one eye open to realize the main source of warmth had moved, leaving them curled up on the assortment of cushions and pillows; the aforementioned source quietly going about redressing himself in the pieces of armor he had temporarily discarded, watching as he glanced over at the sound of their grogginess,

"The sun is rising, I thought it best to try and get an early start to the day," he said, seeing them slowly pushing themselves to sit upright and rub their face,

"You stayed…?" They muttered, slowly swinging their legs over the edge of their makeshift bedding soon after and standing, giving Estinien pause in finishing his task,

"...of course. I had said I would try, after all." 

Auri smiled and nodded concedingly, walking to their own traveling gear and readying themselves for the day, on occasion looking over their shoulder to their quiet companion before they made their way over to lightly nudge his hand with their own to get his attention,

"Thank you for last night," they said, "You have a talent for arriving at the right place at the right time."

He chuckled, "Not always, but… consider it my apology for leaving Ishgard without warning."

"Hmmh, and consider it, I will." Auri's smile broadened a bit, lingering a heartbeat too long in the quiet that followed before Estinien shifted from one foot to the other, making his way out of the yurt with the au ra trailing behind him. 

The two were greeted by an early yet clear sunrise, the settlement a few yalms away still stirring from its own collective slumber and giving the two adventurers a little more time; the dragoon slowed to a stop and looked to the mage, his nagging thoughts near shouting at him, say something now or forever hold your peace, I suppose… he thought, noticing how they gave him an inquisitive look,

"Did you forget something? I can go fetch it if needed-" 

"No, no I…" his mouth pressed to a firm line, jaw clenching with the nerves of a fretting boy rather than a seasoned soldier, "There was something I had meant to say- something I realized but did not feel worthy to give voice to at the time, though I had it somewhat found my resolve during my ventures." 

Their attention was now unshakable as they listened, the faint display of their tail curling in anticipation hardly went unnoticed,

"Words are not my strength, I much prefer letting my actions speak for me, but…"

His words trailed off as Auri stepped closer, their usual fidgeting eased as they reached for his nearest hand, carefully grasping it and speaking quietly, "Then let them."

Blinking wide, Estinien considered their request- their gentle command- before leaning to place a tentative kiss to their forehead; he heard them inhale quiet yet sharp, pulling away and opening his mouth to apologize only to feel their free hand reaching up to tug his head back down and pressing their lips to his own.

He froze briefly at the forwardness of his companion, then pulled them closer and allowed himself the chance to express at last the affections he thought himself unfit to pursue, all too encouraged by the way they embraced him in turn. 

When they parted, it was difficult to ignore the way the au ra's cheeks had become deeply flushed, a chuckle bubbling up from them as they smoothed the handful of hair they had grasped, 

"I… Pardon my eagerness, I had just…" they paused, chewing on their lip as their mind now spun, "I suppose time away has given us both the time to… realize."

"Hmh, I suppose so." He replied, a faint smile showing before he gave a cautionary glance to the settlement, "And I also suppose I should take my leave before the others rouse, the sooner you finish your business here the sooner you can leave, aye?"

Auri's expression softened as the realization, the oncoming return to duty, idly squeezing the hand they still held and nodded at his word, "Aye… where will you go?"

His brows perked, "I had heard whisperings of progress in Gyr Abania, might see if I can cause a bit of trouble there until the rebellion catches up."

Slowly they let go of his hand, their fidgeting returning as they lingered on the elezen, "Be safe…. Please." 

A crisp morning breeze rushed past the two, with the dragoon bowing his head as a silent promise and turning to depart, watched by the mage until he disappeared into the Steppe's vast hills before they looked to the distance where Bardam's Mettle resided… prompting them to exhale a calming breath. 

We will meet again ere long, I'll make sure of that.

[blindingspark]

Rebuilding

As the Dragonsong war has officially come to an end, a recovering Estinien comes to a revelation in the midst of healing. Rating: General Pairing: Estinien/WoL-ish Notes: A fair bit of fluff and talk in this one! Hope you enjoy~!

Clear skies and the distant chiming of the cathedral bells on a fair breeze, it had the air of a perfect day within the city of Ishgard; that certainly would have been the case for a recovering Dragoon, bedridden and staring out the opened window like confined child- if one looked closely enough they could detect a pout on his face.

Weeks had passed since he was pulled back from the brink of total destruction, quite literally at the hands of the Warrior of Light and the young Scion upon prying Nidhogg's eyes from his person- the memory still bitterly fresh in his mind. It was all he had to occupy his time between rereading the same three novels on his bedside table- never bothering to request new ones- and being prodded and tended to by the Chirugeons.

Estinien let out a grumbling sigh, settling back against the pillows and turning his attention to the ceiling with a soft thump as his head met the headboard, the elezens gaze tracing every line of the wooden beams grain and the subtle cracks of paint as he had done countless times before. Were it not for the occasional visitor, he had every confidence he would have gone mad in this infirmary, even if the company itself sometimes made the Dragoon wish to sprint as fast as his recovering self could manage; though he valued the friendship of the Lord Commander, he seldom had the energy to keep up with his kindly conversation at all times-

The sound of the heavy knob turning caught his ear, giving a sidelong look and lifting his head as he watched the quiet au ra give a nod of thanks to the chirugeon at the door before walking in, noting the fresh bouquet of wildflowers in their arms and briefly looking to the old ones on his table. His thoughts travelling to how they had made a point to bring new flowers during each visit...

They were consistent, at least.

"Oh! I wasn't sure if you were still asleep," they chirped, approaching the bedside table and going about the process of refreshing the flowers, "The attendants turned me away the first time I came to visit a few bells ago on account of you needing your rest." 

"It's the only other thing they'll allow me to do while I'm cooped up here," Estinien said dryly, earning a snicker from Auri while they set aside the wilted blooms, a brief silence hanging in the air before the Dragoon broke it, "Though I thought you had business elsewhere."

"Mmh, somewhat," they glanced over to him, offering a small shrug alongside a warm grin, "More meetings and talks which I'm requested to attend, as always. I'm not sure how long I'll be away, however, and I wished to bring one more batch of flowers before I left."

A small grunt of affirmation, his gaze landed on the new flowers and wondering what prompted the mage to begin bringing them in the first place… it was only upon hearing the slight shift of fabric that he looked up to Auri once more, seeing the curious look that glistened in their eyes,

"With summer coming to an end, some blooms from before weren't available," they said, their mouth pressing to a firm line as they seemed to linger on a thought, "Unless something else troubles you."

"Just the same shite as always while I've been here," Estinien huffed with a wave of his hand, now looking to the window that had been opened slightly to let fresh air in, a look of longing showing in his stormy gaze, "I could take a swipe of a dragons claw and recover more quickly than I have with this… whatever this was."

The frustration slipped into his tone, earning a tilt of the head and Auritel slowly moving to sit on the edge of the bed, hands loosely clasped and resting on their lap,

"Well… a dragons claw does seem rather severe, but you were taken over by a Greatwyrm, after all… you said so yourself that his anguish and rage alone were far too great for any one person to bear," they paused, sighing and- with some hesitancy- reached to rest one hand atop his, watching his gaze flicker down and lingering as they continued, "You aren't simply recovering from a physical wound, Estinien, both body and soul need care after such an ordeal."

He grimaced, moreso at his own stubbornness and wanting to argue against their sentiment than actual frustration at the notion, his next words sounding akin to a defeated thought slipping out,

"I've tended my own wounds for this long." 

"That you have," Auri nodded, glancing down at where their hand rested atop his and gently squeezing, "But… you don't have to this time. You'll heal in time, without question, but until then… I'm truly thankful to see that you lived after all of this."

Seeing his brows knit together, the au ra continued, "We had hope that we could save you, but there was always the fear that we may have been too late. The fact you're here, of your own sound mind, is comforting in its own way," they offered a gentle smile, leaning slightly to meet his gaze, "You're a different man from when we first met at Dragonhead, and I mean that in earnest."

Estinien's usual scowl softened at their words, finding a sense of relief settling in his shoulders and sighing as he leaned back, feeling himself hesitate in pulling his hand out from under theirs as he did so. He looked them over, letting a faint smirk curl his lip and gesturing to the door with his head, "Perhaps I'll continue to change while you're away, then; I may even be healed by the time you return."

Auri snickered, moving to stand and gathering up the wilted flowers as they looked to the Dragoon one last time, "Maybe we'll both be different by the time we meet again, though I hope neither of us will be away for too long," they said softly, dipping their head in a small bow before they turned and took their leave, slowing after a few steps and looking over their shoulder, "Take care of yourself, stray cat."

The nickname felt like an unexpected caress, prompting his smile to show a touch more and nodding in turn, " 'til next we meet, little dragon."

One last smile, and the mage slipped out of the infirmary just as quietly as they had entered; the elezen's attention lingering until the heavy clunk of the doors handle served as a surefire border between a friendly visit and the old familiar silence, leaving him to his own devices once more.

Though he was no stranger to quiet and solitude, Estinien could admit that the departure of his companion tugged a bit more viciously than he had anticipated, though he could not exactly place why… perhaps it was simply their presence being a pleasant change of pace from the energetic and eagerness of the others he knew, or their air of holding no expectations other than to be true and present. 

His gaze fell to the sheets he had become so acquainted with, studying the seams and woven cloth as though they held the answers to his pondering. Perhaps they had actually grown to enjoy his company as he had theirs, somehow-

Looking to the flowers, he reached over and gently grasped one of the larger leafs, running his thumb across the shining surface and finding his thoughts travelling: he never did ask why they brought him flowers even after they had made a habit of it, even after Aymeric had given a sly grin and questioned the display upon seeing it during his own visitation, even after a fretting Alphinaud spoke of the blooms and the meaning of those he knew… perhaps a part of him held onto the flowers as something purely known between the au ra and himself, just as they had known eachother through private conversation and their travels together to the churning mists and beyond. The trials they had faced in spite of themselves and their arms-length alliance, slowly fading with time until they lingered in the others company by their own volition and not purely because it was asked of them; his mind eventually pulled to the moment Nidhogg had taken control, how cold they could have become in the face of such a turn and yet…

Letting go of the frond, he lingered on the path his mind had begun to walk and felt a steady realization grip and hold him in place, a realization that he had been a fool to not see before now. He reached up and ran his fingers through his hair, giving a frustrated ruffle and letting his head fall back to stare at the ceiling,

You damned fool, he thought, grimacing at the familiar beams, even if such feelings were ever requited, they deserve better than… this.

His grimace faded to a solemn stare, exhaling slowly and closing his eyes, and Fury knows they can have better if they merely say so, the way Aymeric speaks of them alone is more than enough proof of such a thing. 

The thought left him bitter, a slight pang in his chest yet held no malice towards his longtime friend or the Warrior of Light. If anything it felt akin to a quiet, though powerful longing he had seldom experienced… 

A grumbling sigh escaped him as he urged himself sitting upright, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and moving to stand- wobbly as he was from being bedridden during his healing. He was in no place for self pity or humouring the jealous gnawing in his chest, the swirling doubts with such a realization was something he could scarcely stand to wallow in within the confines of the infirmary.

My body and soul may heal with time, but I am wont to simply watch the days pass until they return, he thought, slowly working out the aches in his body and pulling on clothing better suited for travel, and I will not be wallowing in my own sorry state in the meantime… there is more than enough for me to attend to; perhaps tending to old wounds as well may help me find clarity.

Estinien stood upright after tightening the last tie to his boots, doing a quick scan of the room and pausing on the bouquet on the bedside table and finding himself lingering. A moment of thought ushered him forward, plucking a random flower- camellia, he recalled- and walking towards the windowsil, glancing over his shoulder to ensure there were no attendants about to enter before placing the bloom down where Auri would be certain to find it and slipping out through the open window.

A breeze followed, faintly billowing the curtains and disturbing the petals of the chosen flower, though it's fate would remain unknown to the departing Dragoon as he took his leave from the ancient city he called home.