#ouroborus snake of me getting fist fucked by the ghost of bill and melinda gates' marriage.

[how-about-will]

an unnecessarily long rant about windows 11, bitlocker, bulldozers, and one sad man's quest to format his 2tb nvme ssd

it's incredible how bad microsoft can make a product. windows 11 home pushes bitlocker on my drives without my knowledge or consent, encrypting them without a recovery key. fine. one of the encrypted drives (i have 2) gets corrupted! uh oh! the metadata of the single partition drive is now GONE! oh well! 'twas just my steam library and some stray GOG downloads. no worries! we'll just forma-the drive is now read only and every goddamn low level, registry edit, diskpart solution found anywhere online does squat. can't format the drive because it's read only and bitlocker encrpyted too somehow? okay. maybe the drive being encrypted has something to do with the permanant current read only state. let's go into settings and manage our bitlocker in control panel, yknow, like you've been able to for since it was released in 2013. FIne fine fine i'll go do that. microsoft does not include the ability to manage bitlocker via any other way than command prompt and powershell if you do not pay $100 for windows 11 professional and like WHATEVER right i've been using windows for 15 of my 20 years on this planet i can definitely handle some easy commands except oh wait the commands don't work? and the documentation for them is poor or nonexistant? oh and your now completely RAW drive actually doesn't have the relevant information to remove bitlocker at all???? i fail to see why formatting a drive cares what the fuck is on it anyway??? it's supposed to be like the bulldozer and also the vogons at the start of hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy, right? you just format the drive and all of the everything on it is supposed to get bulldozered and space lasered and filleted into new, clean, workable data! i can't clean the drive with diskpart because it's encrpyted, and i can't decrypt it because it has bad blocks where the metadata is!