#overdesirously

[stockwellarchives]

“[Goldin:] I know that at the studio you did like Errol Flynn.  You worked with him on Kim, the adaptation of the Rudyard Kipling novel. 

“[Stockwell:] He treated me as an equal. 

“[Goldin:] How was that expressed?  I know that when your were working on Kim, he walked up to you and said, in front of your mother and your schoolteacher, ‘Had your first fuck yet, kid?’ 

“[Stockwell:] He didn't say ‘kid.’  He said, ‘Have you had your first fuck yet?’  And from that moment I loved him.  He was not in awe of a teacher or a mother, or of any stricture whatsoever.  So it was as perfect a relationship as possible between an adult and a child.  He was leading me into the world, or opening up the doors to the world for me.  And no one had done that. Any child who loses his father at age 6 is thereafter involuntarily embarked upon a quest for a father figure.  This, for me, proved very difficult to find.  The adults around me all seemed to be subject to the same emotional deficiencies or vulnerabilities, because the industry that I was working in seemed to present to people the possibility of striking the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow at any moment.  That was one of the core elements of it.  It still is.  And that in itself lent to all those people who were after that a color of anxiety, of emotional unease and nervousness, of an overdesire to achieve and create, as well as a great susceptibility to self-doubt and self-criticism.  With Errol Flynn – for the first time – I found a guy that wasn't subject to any of that.  The guy was solid, whole, impervious to everything.  He was a romantic, intellectual stud. 

“[Goldin:] Still, I'm not so sure Errol Flynn is the role model every parent wants for his child. 

“[Stockwell:] Errol Flynn was great.  Did you ever read his book, My Wicked, Wicked Ways?  It's amazing on a philosophical level. 

“[Goldin:] What in his philosophy affected you as a child? 

“[Stockwell:] It's all summed up in a three-letter word, N-O-W.  Now. That's what he lived for.  When I was living in a now that was being dictated by everybody else, for someone to give me a now that was mine was very important.  And beyond that, he had a very expansive, human quality that even opened up enough to involve children. 

“[Goldin:] How did that express itself?  I know that, for example, he initiated you into his . . . what was it called? 

“[Stockwell:] The Flying Fuckers.  He gave me a pin. 

“[Goldin:] Not exactly every mother's wholesome wish. 

“[Stockwell:] No.  She found that, years later, and threw it away. 

“[Goldin:] That's too bad.  It would have been a piece of memorabilia. 

“[Stockwell:] I would have it in my lapel now. 

“[Goldin:] What did it look like? 

“[Stockwell:] It was a beautiful handmade set of wings, with a little shield in the center with three interlocking Fs.  But when you turned the lapel the other way, it was a big fucking erection and balls that were held up.  You know, Flynn's Flying Fuckers – it was a very exclusive club. 

“[Goldin:] And how did belonging make you feel? 

“[Stockwell:] Great.  Like any child who at some point in his life feels real acceptance from his father that the adult world is coming up, and that he's going to be part of it, and all his instincts are real, and there's nothing wrong with them.  He represented all of that to me. He used to invite me into his dressing room, which meant more to me than I could ever express.  And I'm sure he didn't know how much that acceptance by him meant to me.  And he would talk and talk and talk, and I don't even remember what he said.  He would sit there with a big glass full of vodka and sip it like a baron until they called us to work, and then he would down it.  He'd do a scene and go back to the dressing room and fill it up again.” 

Goldin, Greg. "The Dean of Hollywood." Interview, October 1988.

[thedlca]

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