#parentingdaughters

[parentingroundabout]

Second-Listen Saturday: Daughters and Dating

[karenhewessuber]

The Labyrinth

"I am blessed for the experiences that make me who I am.  I am blessed for the experiences that make me who I am.  I am blessed for the experiences that make me who I am.  I am blessed for the experiences that make me who I am."

There are so many wonderful things about my daughter having started preschool two weeks ago.  She is IN her element, and each time one of the kids matriculates to the next level of something, a piece of life is unfolding for us all.  For me, my daughter beginning preschool means I have to surrender a little to let her go: in return I get a little bit of me back to me.  Enter the labyrinth.

It's a small one: about 20 feet in diameter.  Nothing fancy.  Some flags stuck in the ground under a smallish grouping of trees on the edge of a semi-developed block near a busy road.  The trees near the entrance have some ribbons hung by well-wishers and labyrinth makers alike.  The path is narrow and pretty well worn, the weeds are abundant.  Nothing fancy.  But this "nothing fancy" is my 10 minutes, three times a week.  Baby in tow, I go into the circle.  Around the circle.  Follow the path.  Draw to center.  Breathe.  Empty.  Return.  Around the circle.  And out.  Back, but not the same.

I needed this: I needed the pause that the labyrinth offers.  I've been running from something, and I was beginning to think I was getting pretty good at it.  I've been running from something on the inside, and running on the outside to cover the internal running.  My mind has been a blur, my heart has been burdened.  I've been swamped in thought, and inescapable self-induced drudgery.  (Eeeeeeewwwwww..... )  Worse yet, I've been working to force things in my life, fearful that if I don't CREATE what's around me, I might have to surrender to whatever the universe present me.  Ironically, surrendering to the universe is exactly what I want to be doing.

The labyrinth, sitting quietly under the snow, melting slowly to the spring wind, sprouting hopeful shoots of grass on a trodden path to cushion the first feet of the season... the labyrinth has been waiting all this time.  It's a holding space that waits for the return of those who will enter to seek - not to run, but to boldly step into the path and to dare to enter into the realm where evolution and revolution are possible.  I know now that I am doing my path justice by taking my 10 minutes, three times a week, to enter into that realm.  I know I am moving forward.  Slowly.  Finally.  It has been a long spring.

Can you feel the tiny turning?  Can you feel the tiny changes that spur us to grow?  The big things, yes.  They are easy to recognize - even forced upon us when we are most unwilling to change or learn.  But the TINY changes.  They are infinitesimally small units of movement in the interior of who we are - tiny, energetic switches that open here and there when we dare to put ourselves in the circle, on the path, and to let go.  Those tiny changes are real.  I think they are more significant than we realize.   Now, I am choosing to acknowledge their significant.  I know that this is my "out" of where I've been lately.  This is my opportunity to let go and to receive the gifts: be they tiny or large, they are all Great.

Peace to you all.  Internal motion, and a free heart full of tiny possibilities.

(*Good Tiny Big Love, 03/24/09)