#parsedex

[atlasthemayor]

WOOHOO LET'S GO POLYARTOBER DAY 1 ''Lovers''

Dex was NOT ready for what awaited in his mailbox today ALSO: Keep reading if you wanna see what the actual love letters are!! (courtesy of my best friend @aristocrating who offered to write them all without me even having thought of that)(they're all SO good)

Chowder:

DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YOU’RE MY BEST FRIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (other than nursey, ofc!)

OK THAT’S ITTTT KTHXBYE!!!! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bitty:

Dear Dex,

You’re a real sweetheart! Thank you for always helpin’ with the baking, and for always having an open ear for the newest gossip. You take care of the Haus so well, and you always give it your all for the team. I really admire that about you!

I would bake the world into a giant pie just for you, if I could! (Sorry I’m not as much of a poet as Nursey, I suppose!) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ransom & Holster:

Yooo Dex! Dexter! Sexy Dexy! PokéDex! (read alternating in mine and Holtz’s voice)

You’re the coolest fucking bro on the whole damn team, and you’re hot as FUUUUUCK! (literally hot, too! write that down, Rans! Write that down!)

If you’re ever interested in a little d-men action, a little bro-bonding quality time, then hit us up!

Ps: haus 2.0 has a room that’s pretty much just a sex dungeon, if you’re into that kind of thing (don’t scare him off Rans, jeez!) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack:

Hello Dex,

I was encouraged to send you one of these, by, euh, third parties who will go unnamed. I just wanted to write to you to say that, um. Your hands are soft as hell, and you always bring it your all to the ice. You give Samwell Men’s Hockey the good name it has, and it is an honor that I got to share the locker room with you for a whole year. Euh, I mean the ice. Yeah. Take care, eh?

-JLZ ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Whiskey:

Yo.

You’re pretty neat.

Drop by my room sometime if you’re free, yeah?

- Connor. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Farmer:

Hi Dex, sorry this is not a love letter. This is just to say to please give my boyfriend back in one piece once you’re done with him, I still need him!

Thanks xx ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Parse:

Dear Will,

Ever since I saw you at that party, I knew you were something special. How did I get your home address? Don’t worry about it. My point is: you’re really fucking hot and you should let me know the next time you’re in Vegas. I could show you around town and introduce you to some Aces, and then I could show you the Strip, if you know what I mean. Was that too corny? Whatever.

This is KVP, call me.

[number redacted] ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nursey:

Dear Will,

I spy two beers and a skin fair and freckled

The bloodshot of ears and a face red-hot speckled

Two seats by the pond, and an evening with a klutz

The beat of my heart, and a churning in my guts

The holding of hands, the potential of a kiss

A golden opportunity I don’t want to miss

Your amber-brown eyes, the color of honey

The guess that I like you, right on the money

I spy a mop of hair, gingery red

And the promise of a date (if I’m not injured yet).

~ Derek ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

(for the @polyamships fellas, the characters in order are William Poindexter, Chris Chow, Eric Bittle, Justin Oluransi, Adam Birkholtz, Jack Zimmermann, Connor Whisk, Caitlin Farmer, Kent Parson, and Derek Nurse) (promise I won't do these many characters so often sorryyyyyy <3<3<3)