#pealy blinders x oc

[pacifymebby]

t r o u b l e/ chapter twenty six

Sonya

"She made a me a flask?" I smirked through my surprise, wondering if perhaps she was trying harder than I'd expected to bring us back into the fold. To mother us again.

I took the little flask from him and unscrewed the lid. When I held it up to my lips I felt the steam warm my nose, a soft gingery sweetness gracing my senses.

"Aye," he said, "told me to make sure ye drink up... It's ginger or somethin, good for..."

"My health, I know," I said with a small smirk, an eye roll that didn't stop me raising the flask to my lips and taking a sip. Didn't stop me smiling softly when I breathed in the sweet honey scent on the steam, when I swallowed and felt it warm me through. Soften me up.

"See," he said then, a cheekier smile when he spoke and caught my arm with his, "you're not so different from us after all..."

"Because I'm drinking milk?" I screwed my face up, my nose wrinkling, brow knitting when I asked him cynically, not really expecting the answer he gave me.

"Still trust your aunt Pol..."

"Well it's not like I can trust the rest of them is it?" I shrugged taking another sip of my drink. Trying not to let my mind circle around the point he'd just made. That I trusted Polly. That I didn't trust the rest of them. That I didn't want to trust Polly. That if I did then I had to believe what she'd told me that morning, that I'd have to believe in those cards which had frightened me since I was only a little girl.

"You don't trust your sister?"

"She doesn't trust me..." I bit my lip, looked down into the dark flask at the milk and the steam, watched it slosh around when I shook the flask in a small circle to stir it up a little.

"You think?"

"She didn't tell me where she was going."

I sat up a little stiffer then, watching the lake, starring out at the still water determined not to let Bonnie read the uncertainty in my eyes. His knack for reading people hadn't passed me by and I wasn't the kind of girl who was used to, nor wanted to be understood as carefully as he threatened to try and know me. So I didn't want to tell him anymore than he already knew. I just didn't realise that in saying what I had I'd already told him so much more about myself than I realised.

"Don't you have to train?" I asked after swallowing another sip of milk, changing the subject with a brighter tone, "for your fight?"

"Nahh..." He leant back in the grass, hands behind his head, eyes closed, a smirk tugging on his lips, "could go into that ring with a broken arm and still knock the sorry bastard out in the first round..."

I bit back a laugh at that, enjoying the bright mischievous light dancing in his eyes when he opened them and shot me a wink.

"You've got a lot of confidence..." I smirked, glancing back at him over my shoulder, watching him as he lay still and calm, like there wasn't a worry in the world that could get him down. It couldn't have been true, there must have been doubts in his mind somewhere but he played it off so well. Like he was the most carefree lad in the world.

"Never lost a fight I didn't mean to," he shrugged, "as long as I weigh in just under the limit I'll be sound... Maybe if you've got doubts Miss Gray, you should come cheer me on eh?" He asked with a cheeky smile.

"Don't sound like you need much cheerin on peaky boy..." I bit back my smile, trying to ignore the strange shy feeling he'd sparked in me. "Unless your fights happening in my living room though I doubt my brother will let me..."

"Sure he will," he shrugged, "not like your bodyguard won't be there is it?"

"I guess," I smiled wanting to laugh at him and his relentless optimism, he had an answer for everything and though usually it was infuriating that morning it was good to be met with so many positive contradictions. Good to have someone shoot down every one of my doubts.

"Y'know lass," he said then, pushing himself up, "you could come and train with me if you like..."

"Why?" I frowned, "don't think I'm heavyweight champion material somehow Mr Gold..." I said, watching as his face lit up with a laugh, his curls falling a little messy across his forehead when he shook off his amusement.

"I meant for your dancin little miss raincloud," he grinned, "your brother's gym is class an you know he says he built it for his fighters but we all know he really built it for you an Sylvia..."

I really screwed my face up when he said that, looked at him all cynical and disbelieving. My frown and the words which followed leaving his smirk to linger, like he understood something I didn't.

"Why would Tommy build a gym for us when were never home..." I said blankly. Perhaps a little part of me hoped I already knew the answer but I wasn't going to let myself believe it, even when Bonnie shrugged his shoulders and all but confirmed something Id always secretly hoped.

"Maybe he was hoping you'd come visit..."

"Never invited us..."

"Don't need an invitation to come home love..." He matched my sullen shrug with a soft smile, those eyes that told me to warm up to him just a little more.

I chewed my cheek, sucked in on it and shook my head.

"Doesn't feel like home," I said quietly, thinking back to the place that was home. The long ornate hallways of my school, the hidden rooms backstage at the opera house, the flat I'd shared with Sylvie, the bed I'd shared with Freddie in his apartment in Little Italy. Where I'd felt at home for a brief moment before he'd turned the TV on and I'd seen the news.

"Give it time," he said quietly, his fingers startling mine when they skimmed over them in the grass, "you've been away so long, perhaps you've just forgotten what it feels like..."

I bit my bottom lip, ran my tongue along the ridges of my dry skin. Saw another flickering image of Freddie lying on his back in his bed, the sheets a mess and barely covering him, the little black heart tattooed over his, the wink he'd shot me as he lay there letting his finger trace an S on the spot.

And as I thought about him my hand wandered to my belly and lingered there. There was a lump in my throat and it was hard to swallow. There was a low lying panic struggling inside me and I couldn't think for all the fuzz it left in my head.

"Who knows," I shrugged hugging my knees up to my chest and resting my chin on them glumly.

I heard Bonnie move beside me, heard him push himself up and shuffle closer.

Felt his hand on my back rub slowly up and down.

"You're dead tense you," he said letting his fingertips trace over the knots in my muscles, "you always like this?" He asked shuffling back to sit behind me, his hands running smoothly up my back, resting on my shoulders. I couldn't see the frown knitting his brows together. I could however feel the warm chill which his actions had sent radiating through me. The blush he was leaving on my cheeks as I stared stubbornly out at the lake. I couldn't turn to look at him now, I felt too shy, too self conscious.

And then his hand pressed down on a bruise which has been troubling me all week. Another from a tumble I'd taken during class.

I tried to swallow and breath through the sudden flash of pain, the heat building around the ache, but I couldn't hide my flinch. Not when his hands were on me to feel my every intake of breath.

"Shit sorry lass," he said his hands falling away from me.

"S'okay Bonnie it's nothing." I said quickly hoping he'd drop it, quietly hoping he'd put his hands back where they had been because the gentle pressure he'd been applying as he felt for knots had been more soothing than I'd expected.

"Nah I hurt you Sonya," he said, the look of concern in his eyes only darkening when I shook my head again.

"Honest Bonnie it's just a bruise... Someone uh..."

"Someone hurt you?" He asked, his voice quiet but quick and teetering on angry until I cut him off. Until my hand reached for his, my fingers skimming over his in the grass until I realised what I'd done, grew shy and drew them away. Back to my side.

"Not on purpose stupid," I smirked forcing myself to smile through the embarrassing memory. It had been humiliating in class but somehow it was more humiliating to admit it not. "My partner dropped me in class... We were leading on some steps and he uh, yeah... Dropped me..."

"Fuck," he smirked, "an I thought my job was dangerous..." I wondered which he was referring to then, being a fighter or being a blinder. "Here ain't they sposed to be talented at your school? What's he goin droppin you for?" His smile was cheeky, like he was trying to do just as I was and laugh it off but I knew what he must really have been thinking, the same as my partner had when they'd dropped me, the same as everyone in the class who had seen it. The same as I'd thought when I'd hit the floor with a thud and felt it echo through my bones, my muscles cramping with the shock as I lay there trying to breath through the pain so that I could get up and start the routine again.

"Reckoned its cause I'm too heavy..." I shrugged trying to pretend that it didn't bother me.

"Kind of excuse is that?" Sniggered Bonnie. It didn't escape my notice the way his eyes kept flickering back to my lower back where his hands had pressed a little too hard. "Sounds to me like someones been skippin arm day." He said with a small smile. "Can I see the bruise lass? Don't reckon it should be hurtin that much after a week like, even my worst never hurt that much for that long..."

"Maybe I'm more of a baby than you..." I tried to deter him, smirking, trying not to pout or show him how nervous it made me to let someone assess the damage.

At school you learnt to swallow down the pain, keep the injuries to a minimum and secret when you did wind up sore. Injuries meant falling behind and falling behind wasn't something girls like me could afford.

"I doubt that somehow sweetheart," said Bonnie, his voice quieter then, murmured as he pushed the back of my brothers pyjama top up and concentrated on the spread of ugly purple turning green at the base of my spine. I heard him breath out a hushed "shit," as his fingers grazed ever so lightly over it. Felt the burn of his eyes on my skin.

I tried to focus on my breathing, tried to concentrate on breathing slow and steady, concentrate on not shaking or shivering or letting the goosebumps show on my arms when he touched me. That was more difficult than I'd expected it to be.

"You didn't believe him did you lass?" He asked then pressing the back of his hand to the bruise, the cool of his touch soothing the ache a little.

"I don't know... He doesn't usually drop me... We've done those steps hundreds of times together so it's not like he didn't know the routine... Cas is the best dancer in our school, he's a really talented athlete..."

"Second to you of course," smirked Bonnie, his smirk only faltering when I didn't return it, "you don't believe me eh lass?" He asked pulling my top back down, rubbing a gentle circle over my back, "how many lassies have you dropped eh? Trust me love, the lad fucked up and blamed you cause he was embarrassed about it, pretty low if you ask me sweetpea..."

"You seem to know him pretty well considering you've never met him..."

"Don't need to lass," he said pushing himself up off the ground, offering his hand to me, "sounds like I've met ten of him in the ring before," he said tugging me closer into his side as we began walking back to the house, "an between me an you I'd gladly make sure he never made the mistake of droppin you again eh?" He said with a cheeky smile, a wink which warmed my cheeks and left me speechless. A small smile tugging at my lips. "I'd mind that bruise though sweetpea, no trainin for you this afternoon eh you need to rest that..."

"I've been resting for days now... I don't know if you've noticed but..."

"None of what you've done these last few days counts as rest Sonya," he said stopping just in front of me, holding my hand down by our hips, looking at me more seriously than I'd thought he was capable of, "What you need is good, proper rest... No staying up scared in a panic room or sobbin your wee heart out and shoutin at your brother yeah, proper rest... You need to relax lass... Hot bath, use that spa your Aunt Pol's always in an out of... Proper rest or it won't get better... Trust me sweetheart I've tried to train through less and it never works..."

"Boxings clearly a more forgiving profession," I mumbled not expecting him to catch my words, not expecting him to smile and shrug me off when I did.

"Probably..."

🌸🦢🌸

"Well," murmured Bonnie as we returned to the house, entering through the kitchen door to the smell of ginger and cinnamon, Ada and Esme with their hands burried in a bowl of flour sugar and butter. "I would invite you to watch me batter your big brother but..." Said bonnie nodding to Kitty who was hovering impatiently on the kitchen table, dressed like a prima ballerina, "I think someones been missin you."

That's how he had left me several hours ago, teasing Kitty on his way out, telling her she looked stunning in her little pink tutu. Told her she looked just as pretty as her aunty. Then he'd shot me another of those stupid winks from across the kitchen and left me at the hands of the little girl who'd been hopping from one foot to the other hardly able to contain her excitement.

She'd grabbed my hands and practically dragged me through to the sun room where I saw the focus of her delight. Four little rabbits idling on the carpet, one hopping slowly about sniffing at the pieces of carrot which had been dropped for them.

"Remember what I told you princess," yawned John from where he lay reclined on his back on the sofa basking in the sunlight which shone through the roof.

There was a door open and a big window letting in the cool from outside and with the television showing the moomins on for the youngens the room had a lazy, dreamy kind of atmosphere.

"Be gentle... Smaller than me..." Grinned Kitty, her fingers locking and unlocking, this mischievous little grin on her lips as she skipped to follow the most sprightly of the bunnies around the room.

"This one's named Buttons," she said picking him up as gently as she could, presenting him to me a little over zealously so that I had no choice but to rescue the little fluffball from her grasp.

"Careful sweetheart," I smiled cradling the little bunny in my hands, "you should listen to daddy Kitty, Buttons is shy see, look at him he's all shakey... You have to be super careful with him..." I said sitting down on the floor leaning against the sofa and holding him to my chest carefully, "here we are see, c'mere KitKat," I said whispering, taking her hand and placing it on the little rabbits soft fur.

She snuggled in close to me and rested her cheek against my arm so that she was nose to nose with Buttons. Her little smile still so mischievous I couldn't help but mirror it.

"See," I breathed looking down at the angelic little creature with tenderness, stroking between his ears and smiling at the way his nose twitched.

"What're the others called Kitty?"

"Yeah go on princess tell aunty fen what you named em..." Chuckled John his lazy smile contagious. He was half asleep, one hand reaching down to ruffle Katie's hair. It was the most peaceful I'd seen anyone all week and I was beginning to wonder how they did it.

Bonnie and John alike. Lying back with their eyes closed, lazy smiles, letting peace wash over them even in the midst of tension and chaos. I couldn't help but envy them for that ability. Couldn't help but think it must be nice to quiet the mind and all its anxieties even if only for a minute or two.

"What did you name the other two Kitty?" I smirked curious now because John was still chuckling to himself behind me.

"This one's Sylvie!" She grinned pointing to a brown, lop-eared bunny stretched out and dozing in the sun. My eyes going wide as I struggled to hold back a giggle, knowing what was coming next, not exactly horrified but also not impressed.

"Oh no," I giggled, "what's this one called Kitty?" I asked a giggle escaping both of us when she crawled to pick the black and white one up and set it down in her lap. It immediately nuzzled into her and began trying to climb up onto her shoulder, eyes set on the sofa and John's head.

"S... Sunny! Like Sonya!" She grinned looking ever so proud of herself, her grin dissolving into laughter when John laughed chuckling away to himself half asleep.

"Atta girl," he grinned sleepily,his hand ruffling her hair once more, "howd ya like that Fen, she looks just like you don't she?"

"Was this your idea? Some twisted way of laughin at us whilst we were away..."

"Who me?" He laughed feigning innocence all hand on heart and false offence, "nah lass, just missed you that much..."

"No no no it's cause they're pretty n you're pretty too!" Cried Katie suddenly animated again, stretching up to her our attention, bouncing up and down where she sat, wriggling and repeating herself until she was greeted with John pushing himself up and scooping her up into his lap.

"Right y'little terror," he grinned threatening her with a tickling hand, wriggling his fingers over her tummy so that she squealed.

"No daddy won't!" She cried defiantly.

"Oh won't he?" He chuckled hanging her upsidedown over his knees so that her hair fell down and brushed the carpet. "What makes you think that eh miss?" He grinned unable to hold in his sniggering as he threatened her with the same game he used to play with me and Sylvie. I gasped jumping to the little girls defense when he threatened her with tickles again.

"John no!" I cried, "you wouldn't!"

"Daddy won't!" Giggled Katie trying to wriggle and squirm her way free but she wasn't going to escape unless John let her and right now his eyes were lit up with mischief and I knew he wouldn't back down.

"Why not Kitty Kat?" He grinned tickling her belly so that she couldn't speak for giggling too much. "Fishes in the water fishes in the sea..." He started teasing her...

"Daddy love me most!" She giggled still wriggling, her laughter so contagious it was impossible not to laugh along as I promised I'd get her free.

"That wasn't the question princess... Sorry!" Laughed John tormenting the poor girl with an onslaught of tickles.

In the end however it was her brother Liam who came to her rescue, clambering on his dads shoulders from round the back of the sofa, hitting him with a light saber until he promised to free his hostage. Kitty scrambling to safety in the arm chair, breathless and rosy cheeked from all her laughter.

"What the bloody 'ells goin on ere eh?" Smiled Ada, her eyes lit up when they rested on John who was still being tormented by Liam and his other eldest boy. "My god John I never thought I'd see the day karma came back to bite you..."

"Yeah..yeah Ada ain't like you didn't put up a fair fight is it!" He managed to spit out between laughs and wheezes of breath doing his best to fend of the two little boys.

But in the Shelby house no amount of peace can be allowed to last for long and when Arthur and Bonnie appeared in the doorway a few hours later the laughter stopped and a shadow crossed over the eyes of my brothers. They shared a silent conversation, eyes dark with understanding and I shivered noticing how in the hours we'd spent lying on the carpet playing with the littlens, the weather had changed and the day had darkened.

Outside the mist had crept in and surrounded the house, the sky was grey and threatening rain. Something heavy and looming hung over us all and I felt a fearful twist in my gut.

When I looked up at Arthur however it was Bonnie who caught my attention, the wink he shot me, the small smile. As if he could tell how my worries had all returned in that moment. As if it were me he wanted to settle and reassure.

"Right," coughed Arthur, "I'll be off then aye..."

"Where's uncle Arthur goin?" Asked Liam, his brother chipping in too.

"Can I come?"

"Nah lad," said Arthur shaking his head, his voice low and gravelly, a little doomed sounding, "not this time eh mate, maybe next time..."

"Aye mate maybe next time yeah, come on I'll teach you how to use that weapon proper eh?" Asked John picking the abandoned lightsaber back up leading them both away to play somewhere else.

I watched Arthur turn away too, watched Ada jump up to stop him, to ask him what was going on.

I saw the look in his eyes which told Ada to back down. Saw the look in hers when she forced a smile and came to sit on the floor with Katie, when she picked up bunny Sylvie and placed her in Katie's lap.

I watched Arthur murmur to Bonnie quietly before he left and when Bonnie turned back to us he had that knit of concentration on his brow tugging a small frown into the center of his expression. It didn't last however because the second he felt my gaze on him he broke into a grin and threw himself down beside me on the settee, his arm stretched out across the back so that I was conscious of the weight of it behind me. So that I felt a tinge of guilt when I found myself wondering what it would feel like to have his arm around me properly. To feel his fingers curling my hair around them subtly.

I tried to ignore the thought but the longer he remained still beside me watching the room with those quiet eyes the worse the feeling got. The desire to let myself sink further back into the cushions, into his side. To find myself tucked under his arm.

I told myself it was because I was missing Freddie, because my head was all cottony and full of anxiety. Because I'd been so scared all week, so upset... And because Bonnie had been there with me throughout it all, always offering me a kind smile. Always listening and nodding along in that calm thoughtful way. The way he just took everything in, the way he almost always seemed to say the right thing...

"So you've met your double I see?" He said leaning in to talk to me, "cute ain't she..."

"Yeah," I smirked, blushing at the fact that everyone seemed to be in on this joke except me.

"Reckon she does a mean pirouette too," he chuckled, "how's the restin going?" He asked his eyes flickering over my body, lingering on my lower back as if he thought looking hard enough would allow him to see through the t-shirt I was wearing to examine the damage.

"I feel like I'm wasting time..." I said chewing my cheek, smiling when he shrugged his shoulders.

"Lookin after yourself ain't wasting time lass," he said his hand skimming over my shoulder, unnoticed by the rest of the family though the sensation it left tingling on my skin and up my neck was impossible to ignore. "Anyway," he said, "you're like me... You don't need anymore practice eh, I reckon you're already perfect..." He said with a cheeky wink, not deterred when I giggled and tried to deny the fact.

"You've never seen me dance!"

"Seen you on YouTube," he smirked, "your brother showed me earlier... After I'd won our fight eh..."

"You didn't beat Arthur," I shook my head with a smile, "no way," I giggled laughing harder when he shook his head.

"Nah lass," he grinned, his cheeks flushed a sweet shade of scarlet, "but a lad can dream..."

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