#pfh talks about england

[pfhwrittes]

whats some common slang in the north of the uk? this is half bc of fics, but another half is bc im moving there in september lmao. gotta be prepared

hi anon! eeeeeeeh, how exciting! i'm assuming you're moving up north for university, if so i'm dead chuffed for you!

as you know, slang is highly regional in the uk so your milage may vary with some of these terms. also, my northern slang has been influenced by my dad who despite living in the the south of england for [redacted] years still has an incredibly thick [redacted] accent and uses his local dialect.

but here are a few slang phrases to get you going:

put "dead" in front of an adjective to mean "very". for example, "dead good" = "very good."

"chuffed" = pleased/proud.

"mingin(g)" = gross (important note - drop your g's if you don't already. they're superfluous).

"(h)angin(g)" = gross.

"chud"/"chuddy" = chewing gum/gum.

"nowt" = nothing. for example, "i had nowt to do wi' it!" = "i had nothing to do with it!"

"owt" = anything. for example, "d'ya want owt from shop?" = "do you want anything from the shop?"

"mint" = good.

"mither" = trouble/bother/aggravate. for example, "parker, stop mitherin' your sister." = "parker, stop bothering/aggravating your sister."

"scran" = food.

"wor"/"our" = our but also my (important note - "our" is a plural possessive pronoun denoting fondness.)

"aye" = yes

"canny" = nice/good (important note - this is geordie slang, canny in scots means can't)

"cob"/"strop" = tantrum. (important note - cob also means bread roll/sandwich)

"mardy" = miserable

as a side note: depending on where you're moving to some letters will get dropped from words. g's go missing a lot, "with" gets shortened to wi', "the" gets shortened to t' depending on the first letter/sound of the following word, "in the" turns into in't.

anyway, good luck and have fun in september anon! mind how you go, and remember - northerners don't wear coats on nights out 😉

(psst, if you found that helpful feel free to pop us a coupla quid in my ko-fi jar as a thank you but no pressure!)

[pfhwrittes]

it is i, the gasping gusper, once more asking for the worst english slang you can think of (mostly so i can force the 141 boys to say them hehe)

gasping anon, you have opened a can of worms that i am only too happy to feed. buckle up, this is going to get long.

so, a fair bit of the slang used in the uk is regional and won't apply broadly for all of the 141 boys, soap in particular would have very different slang compared to gaz, ghost and price as he's scottish. actually, they'd all use different slang terms due to their geographical locations in the uk, age, race and (assumed) class backgrounds.

for example, simon could say something like "oh for fuckssakes that's absolutely 'angin'!" and that would be regionally correct as he's from manchester. "'angin'" or "hanging" (except with simon's mancunian accent he'd drop the 'h' and the last 'g' in the '-ing' sound) means gross / disgusting. it means fuck all in other places in the uk but from where i live you'd switch "'angin'" (hanging) out with "boggin'" (bogging) or "'owlin'" (howling) to indicate grossness.

anyway, that example aside, i do actually have some slang phrases that i want to share with you. they all vary in levels of awfulness and they should all be understood pretty broadly around the uk.

"stop standing around like a spare dick at an orgy!" = don't be useless. (fun fact: my mum said that phrase to me. cheers mum.)

"noshing him off" = "nosh" means eat/food. "noshing him off" means sucking a dick. english is such a wonderful language.

"they're like a dog with two cocks." = they're happy, annoyingly happy actually. bastard.

"off for a slash" = off for a piss, usually not in the provided facilities.

"tighter than a duck's arsehole" = to mean awkward, stingy or small. it's a bit of a weird one. if you call someone "tighter than a duck's arsehole" you're calling them stingy or cheap. if you're referring to a space as "tighter than a duck's arsehole" it's a very cramped/awkward/small. context is everything.

"nonce" = pedophile. yup. don't call someone a nonce unless you know them VERY well and you know they won't get upset if you say it as a joke.

"what an utter cock up" = same thing as "screw up" or saying that something's gone wrong.

"bollocking" = a proper telling off (for example, i got a bollocking off my mum when i accidentally threw a spider at her).

"bell end" = literally the tip of a dick. don't use this for smut writing whatever you do, it's used as an insult here.

and finally, my favourite saying. disclaimer with this one: it's welsh, not english or scottish so the lads from 141 aren't likely to say it but i want to subject you to it:

10. "i'd rather shit in my hands and clap." = literally what it means. the person saying it would rather shit in their hands and clap than do whatever you've just asked them to do. enjoy that mental image.

anyway, let me know if you want to hear some more english slang or insults. i've got years worth of insults built up inside of me.

[pfhwrittes]

while i'm still talking about regional accents in the uk, it makes sense to me why ghost wouldn't have a very pronounced manchester accent (even if it makes me sad) from a lore perspective.

firstly, it would be a very noticeable way for him to distance himself from the trauma he went through while he was in manchester.

secondly, it is an unfortunate thing over here that particularly broad regional accents have certain connotations and i have seen anecdotal evidence that does indicate that people using their regional accent/dialect are often overlooked for promotion/career advancement. it would make sense that ghost in order to move up the ranks has to adopt a more flattened/an RP accent to be taken seriously.

but i think there's something special in ghost feeling comfortable enough to use his manc accent around people he trusts.

[pfhwrittes]

your most recent post has me thinking that i really don’t know much about the uk and their foods! would you be comfortable giving us pals across the sea a bit more info on chippys? 🫶😔

oh ho HO anon, i am SO excited to discuss chippys with you, you don't even know.

so chip shops tend to have a set menu HOWEVER regional variations are vast. so in my beloved south wales i have the choice of two chippys in my local area. one is more traditional and one is half chinese take-away half chip shop. personally, i prefer the chinese/chip shop. their chips aren't soggy, the portions are bigger AND i can get egg fried rice with my chippy tea order.

but here's an example of the traditional chip shop menu where i am in the world:

battered fish (cod, haddock, pollock/hake) (small or large) chips (small or large) fishcakes (3 or 5) scampi (6 pcs) battered fish pieces (6 pcs) battered sausage (small or large) saveloy sausage faggots and gravy corned beef pie

all of these things are VERY good food (except the faggots. they're less good because i'm not a fan of the texture of them) but not every chip shop will have the same menu, it's entirely region dependent!

and weirdly one of the big "divisions" when it comes to chippy teas is the question of mushy peas vs curry sauce vs gravy. where i live in the UK, my options are mushy peas or curry sauce. some places will have mushy peas only. other cultured places have the option of gravy or mushy peas. some absolute mad people have the option of ALL THREE (personally i cannot conceive of such riches, but here we are).

also, if you ever get a chippy tea say yes to salt and vinegar on your chips. it's fucking delicious.

[pfhwrittes]

off the back of my most recent reblog, if any non-brits ever want someone to britpick your work/a few lines/whatever. i am more than happy to offer my services

and if you like the work i do, feel free to chuck a few quid (or whatever your currency denomination is) in my kofi jar to say thanks if you have the means to do so

[pfhwrittes]

not to start shit or anything but before you decide to dump a load of british slang into your fics please research the area that your character is from. slang is highly regional in the uk and is influenced by various factors.

it's highly unlikely that your character from london is going to use the phrase "nowt to do but wait" but a character from the north of england will.

an english character is very unlikely to use Scots (which is a language, not slang) unless they have spent significant amounts of time in scotland or has scottish family/friends.

a northerner isn't going to call someone "bab" like someone from the black country will.

[pfhwrittes]

okay but perfect timing re: chip shop stuff. i’ve just had a menu stuck through my front door for a takeaway kebab/pizza place!

(peep the new munchie box offer 👀)

[pfhwrittes]

on the subject of uk accents i’m for the north west in an ex mining area and i still remember a few years ago when i was applying to uni and my school sat us all down and told us to that if we get an interview to make sure we speak with our accents as little as possible and dull them down, especially for uni’s out of our county so that we wouldn’t be perceived as rough and it didn’t affect our chances.

i'm really sorry this has happened to you anon. i've been told to "speak properly" a lot in my life and i've definitely adopted an RP register whenever i interview places/need to ring up "official" entities. it sucks and i wish i didn't have to do it.

[pfhwrittes]

p were you the one that made a 411 post about slang and accents in enlgand in regard to the boys? or was i just hallucinating? - @mikichko 💕

hi kiko my love!

oh probably! let me link some of my posts from my pfh talks about england tag!

there's a little list of slang/uk terms at the bottom of this ask

i shared some links for helping get your ear in for the different accents of the cod guys here

here's some common slang found in the north of england

actually, here's a link for my pfh talks about england tag because i have rambled A LOT in bits and pieces!

[pfhwrittes]

a reminder of how weird the measurement system is in the uk:

i know my height in feet and inches (5ft1) and my weight in kg (50kg), petrol for my car is charged per litre but i can work out my usage in miles per gallon, i'd order a pint down the pub but i measure out 200ml of stock when i cook, the fittings to plumb in my dishwasher are 1/2 inch but the pipework is 15mm, the satnav in my car will tell me to make a left turn in 150 metres but my driving instructor taught me to start indicating for a turn at least 300 yards before i need to manoeuvre, the best victoria sponge recipe i know uses ounces but my new recipe books use grams.

[pfhwrittes]

Hi! This may be totally weird, but I had a thought the other day, and I didn’t really know who would best be able to answer it. I can’t really head canon it myself due to lack of lived experience as I did not grow up around this creature’s influence, but do you think any of the 141 were traumatized by Mr. Blobby when they were kids?

I feel like Price and Simon are probably around the right age to have seen it when the show first started airing, but maybe by the time Gaz and Soap got old enough to watch it there was enough time to be warned about the character beforehand. But that’s as far as my Southern USAmerican brain can get me.

p.s. thank you for all your Brit picking posts!!! I appreciate you offering us your knowledge ♡

hi anon!

firstly, it's entirely my pleasure to help out with brit-picking stuff! i'm always happy to ramble on about the weirdness of british stuff. feel free to pop back any time you like if you have a question for me, i promise i'll do my best to help and if i get stuck i'll try to point you in the right direction 💜

secondly, oh jesus fucking christ. mr blobby. i'm a little traumatised from mr blobby and i'm closer to gaz and soap's canonical ages according to the fandom wiki (apparently gaz was born in '93 and soap was born in '96).

i actually think ghost and price managed to avoid being traumatised by mr blobby as they're older but soap and gaz? traumatised for fucking sure.

why? i'll put an image under the cut for you.

TELL ME THAT ISN'T THE MOST CURSED FUCKING THING YOU'VE EVER SEEN?!

i was going to link some videos to mr blobby on youtube but honestly i don't want to subject myself to mr blobby any more than necessary!

anyway, thank you for dredging up my long buried memories of mr blobby, anon! have a good timezone!

[pfhwrittes]

misunderstood yr post in several ways but this was the first thing that came into my mind. the second was throuple

oh i love these! i'm so glad that you've shared these with me!

i'm pretty sure it's a northern thing to use a plural possessive pronoun when referring to someone you're fond of over here. (i'm basing that knowledge off the fact that my dad is from the north east) so it makes sense to me that simon coming from manchester (the north west) would do the same!

and now you've got me thinking about a scenario where johnny hears simon say "where's our gaz then?" in the rec room enough times that it just slips out one day when he asks gaz "seen our ghostie?" (kyle, bless him, is left feeling just a little bit confused because huh? our ghost? nah mate, more like your ghost)

but yep, bit of an odd linguistic quirk if you've not encountered it before and easily misunderstood!

[pfhwrittes]

actually the rspb website is a great resource for anyone that wants to mention british wildlife (in particular birds) in their fics and they're unsure of the variety of little funky birds we have over here.

have another link to the website.

the woodland trust is a wonderful resource for the various animals we have in the uk too. they cover various species of birds, mammals, reptiles and amphibians you can find (as well as my beloved insects). they also have a handy tree identification guide.

have a link to the woodland trust website.

[pfhwrittes]

okay this is my disclaimer post for my new tag, pfh talks about england, under the readmore.

just a reminder that my askbox is open (and anon is on) for anyone who wants to ask a 'silly' (there are very few silly questions) or niche question about english culture / slang / stuff that will help with grounding a fic in realism.

remember that Your Mileage May Vary (YMMV), it's important. i don't want someone crawling into my inbox with a "well actually i live in X and you're wrong" unless of course i am giving wildly inaccurate information (eg i say that you can find scottish wildcats on the south coast of england which is factually absolute bollocks). if you are rude your ask or comment will be deleted.

when i tag something with that tag i am genuinely using my own lived experiences only (and occasionally my knowledge of something like the british wildlife post). i'll try to keep in mind regional differences but i am an english person living in wales.

if a question or comment is above my understanding or outside my own lived experiences, i will do my best to link you to resources that may help you better.

[pfhwrittes]

Bless you for offering to help us non-uk people if I could manifest a plate of cookies on your nearest flat surface I would. (But I'll settle for sending you something over Kofi)

Anyways, 2 probably dumb questions but. How frequent are fences around like manor or older houses is it even a thing? Does Waterstones have really tall bookcases where they might store overstock on an upper shelf?

Ok love you bye enjoy the sun, I'll be hiding from the deadly laser as I burn like the cave dwelling bog hag I am.

hi friend! it's my pleasure to help you. it really is! (also i just found your other ask from a few days ago buried at the bottom of my askbox and i am cringing at myself for forgetting to reply.)

(also ahhhhhhhh! thank you, that is very kind of you!)

there are NO dumb questions, i promise. you don't know what you don't know. and hopefully i can fix that for you.

so firstly, it depends on the era of the house, who owned it, whether or not the land around the house is still owned by the same family, and the condition of the house. i recognise this is probably a DEEPLY unhelpful answer BUT you can assume that in most cases, yes there will be some kind of fence/hedge to mark the boundary of property. you're waaaay less likely to see a huge well maintained wall around older manor houses because of the laws we have regarding the preservation and protection of historical houses and lands. that's more of a nouveau-riche thing to have giant walls and obvious signage to say "TRESPASSERS WILL BE PROSECUTED". (in my experience it's very easy to causally wander onto the grounds of the local gentry's property and get yelled at by a man wearing tweed and walking a brace of labradors. oxfordshire is a special place.)

also, in most cases, manor houses have a vast amount of land attached to them. and i mean vast. for each manor house you can safely assume that the family that was "gifted" the house by whichever reigning monarch at the time has or had control of the local village, at least two farms, and a church.

secondly, my ex-stockroom person eyeball just twitched violently at the thought of unsafe stock practices. in practice, the answer should be a categorical no. books (as in, in their multiples) are heavy as fuck and should never be stocked/overstocked at height. ever.

in reality, i'm sure that somewhere out there, there are unsafe stock practices happening and it's making my palms itch at the thought. honestly, it depends on the size of the store, the stockroom, the diligence of management and of staff members to ensure safe working practices. health and safety laws were written in the blood spilled of our not so distant ancestors and you will learn that when a book avalanche lands on your head and causes a concussion. or when a customer gets bonked on the head and complains to management so you have to fill out waaaaay too much paperwork.

(to the man in B&Q who got doused in forest green fence paint, i'm sorry that happened to you but in my defence, i wasn't the one to stock that shelf. i was trying to fix the issue, i promise.)

[pfhwrittes]

what is the correct way to address a character going to the public bathroom for a fic set in England?

Is it retiring to the washroom, restroom, water closet, bathroom, loo or some mysterious other term I've yet to encounter. This is not a situation where 'going for a slash' would be appropriate to say or do. More along the lines of going to powder your nose. Is using 'loo' too 'low-brow' for an upscale setting? "Just going to nip into the loo" is giving me Bridget Jones being awkward around Dr. Darcy and using the colloquial terms he's unused to hearing in nicer company for some reason. Does that make sense? I'm Canadian if that clarifies why I'm so confused.

hello my canadian friend! thanks for asking!

you’re absolutely right, announcing that you’re “off for a slash” or “taking a piss” in a more upscale location would absolutely scandalise the shit out of whoever you’re with (which can be funny if the character refuses to play into class politics).

usual terms you’ll hear in polite company are:

“popping to the loo” - usually said by female company.

“off to powder my nose” - more likely to be said by female company.

“going to the gents/ladies” - in places with gendered bathrooms (gendered bathrooms my beloathed)

“nipping to the bathroom”

for what it’s worth, we don’t usually call bathrooms or toilets “washrooms” or “restrooms” in the uk so stick to bathroom or toilet/s when an english character is speaking (unless they’re using any of the euphemisms above).