#physically sitting at my desk mentally recreating the lie down try not to cry cry a lit meme

[fantasmagoriam]

;_;

[dreamreiding]

Storms - Spencer Reid x Reader

Author’s Note:This is the first thing I have actually written in a looooong time, so my plotting is rusty. Let me know what you think, constructive criticism is always welcome! This is a recreated version of something I wrote and deleted last year, I tried to link every event with an element of a storm. I also proof read this at about 10:45 PM so please excuse any grammar errors that there may be.

Warnings: None, but this story does not end happily, so if you’re not into that, don’t read this.

—–

The way he felt with you was nothing like anything he had ever felt before. You were the pieces he would lose with each and every case the team solved. You were the calm before the storm. You were home in a person. You held what little sanity he had left together. When you were together it was like a physical weight was lifted off of his shoulders and the room became brighter. In every way, you were the best thing that had ever happened to him. When he looked at you, he saw his future. A future he couldn’t see before he met you.

Needless to say, he was not prepared for the inevitable storm to come after the calm. He was not prepared to see you walk out of his life. It wasn’t that you walked out willingly. Leaving was the last thing you wanted to do. You left because Spencer was an entire storm to you. From the calm, cloudy, gray skies, to the harsh, fast, damaging winds, to the loud, startling, structure shaking thunder.

Going to pick Spencer up after faraway cases had been something you always did. You never liked the idea of him driving himself home when he was so physically and mentally exhausted. It was about 3:00 in the afternoon when he called to let you know they had arrived back from Miami, which was where their case had taken place. You had also been extremely tired on this day after working a night shift of your job the night before, but you went anyways knowing you would finally get to see him again. So you hopped into the driver’s seat of your car and went on your way. You immediately noticed the lack of sunshine when you stepped outside, figuring it was about to rain. You hoped it would only rain, as you hated storms more than anything.

The wind and rain had begun to pick up as you arrived to get Spencer. You pulled into a parking spot, texted Spencer that you were there, and waited. You knew the team sometimes hung out in the bullpen after cases, so waiting wasn’t a big deal to you. Until you had been sitting in your car for thirty minutes, you checked your messages, seeing that Spencer had read your text. You decided to go in and find Spencer, or at least someone else who could help you find him.

As you were walking in, JJ had been walking out.

“Y/N! How are you?” she asked sympathetically, which had confused you.

“I’m doing really well, why do you ask?” you replied.

“Well, Spencer just told us you guys have been fighting recently, is that not true? I don’t think he would lie about something like that, but maybe…I should probably go,” she rambled.

What she said had been true, you and Spencer had been fighting. Mostly about how you would make plans to travel or see your family together, but his job always took priority over those things. You would always be upset at first, but eventually came to your senses and understood. As he liked to say, “evil never takes a day off.”

You had an anxious feeling as you continued trying to find your boyfriend in the immense building. JJ seemed like she had been hiding something, although you weren’t sure what it could be. When it came to you, Spencer was pretty much an open book, he hated not telling you things.

You found Spencer after what had seemed like hours of searching. He was sitting at his desk, seeming deep in thought. The way he looked when he would work on smaller cases at home some days. He almost seemed angry.

“Spence, are you alright?” you questioned worriedly.

“I don’t think we should do this anymore, I can’t,” he muttered, almost in tears.

You could feel pain in your chest at his words, but refused to show your hurt in such a public place. You didn’t want to make Spencer or yourself look unprofessional in his place of work.

“Let’s talk about this in the car. Come on, there’s a storm coming and I want to get home before it hits,” you faltered. You figured maybe he wasn’t thinking straight, you knew it had been a particularly difficult case for the entire team to get through.

Despite what you said, the car ride home had been silent. He had returned to his deep thinking state, and you did not attempt to pull him out of it, afraid of what he might say. You turned on the radio, only to have it turned off thirty seconds later.

When you finally arrived back at your house, Spencer bolted for the door. You chased after him, wondering what had gotten him into such a weird mood. It had happened so fast, he seemed fine when you spoke on the phone this morning, and when he called to let you know they had arrived back. Nevertheless, you followed him into the house.

“I wasn’t kidding, Y/N. I can’t do this anymore,” he stated firmly.

“What happened? Not even eight hours ago nothing was wrong. Do you need to talk about anything?” you offered.

“No, Y/N,” he snapped, “I do not need to talk about anything. What I need is for you to pack your things and get out.”

Thunder. It rattled through the whole house as you began processing what your boyfriend of almost three years had just said.

“Did I do something?” you asked, beginning to cry.

“God damnit, Y/N! Don’t you understand? I can’t do this anymore! I can’t keep seeing the hurt in your eyes when I leave for an unknown number of days! I can’t keep watching fight tears of nervousness when I leave! I can’t keep hurting you,” he screamed. You had never heard him yell as loud as this before.

“You aren’t-” you began.

“Y/N, I have never loved someone as much as I love you. And because of that, I can’t keep doing this. I need you to leave,” he cried. It hurt you so bad to see him like this, but you understood.

“Okay,” you muttered, “I’ll go some of my stuff,” you walked into the previously shared bedroom and began to pack a bag to stay at a friend’s house. As you packed, you listened to the roaring thunder, trembling with sadness. This was the last thing you saw coming. You didn’t want to leave, but it was what Spencer wanted. And you loved him so much that you couldn’t deny him of this.

As you walked out with a bag, Spencer watched you with tears in his eyes. He watched you as you walked out of your house, as soon as you walked out, he broke down crying. He knew he shouldn’t have done it. He knew this could’ve been solved, but he also knew how unhappy you would soon become. And so he just cried. Cried until he couldn’t cry anymore. Cried until the storm began to die down.