#pink and orange look nice on her bUT THAT'S TOO CLOSE TO BASELINE

[transingthoseformers]

Yep aaaand now I'm fiddling with SG g1 Firestar's color palette again

[shadowofthelamp]

The Smeetening

This was a kofi commission for @lovelycoris! And the title comes from her tag.

Summary: Zim has been gone for four and a half months, and Dib was not expecting what he found when he got back.

Warnings: Mpreg mention

Wordcount: 1920 

Dib had to admit, when Zim had been gone for four and a half months, he’d figured he was off in space doing training or something like that. Invaders would do that, right? (He’d told Dib he was going to be gone, but not that it was going to be this long, and to be honest, Dib was getting more than a little twitchy. Skool was so boring without Zim, although he had managed to stake the vampires hunting behind the Krazy Taco.) Or maybe he’d be catching up with old alien friends, if he even had any.

Not…. this.

Dib had picked the lock while his EMP shorted out the gnomes. He’d been doing that about twice a month to see if Zim was back yet, but before now there had been nothing. His motion sensors had caught activity twenty minutes ago from the Voot instead of a random squirrel, and he had to know what had taken so long.

There was a lot of noise coming from the living room, but the curtains had been drawn, and honestly, Gir watched so much garbage TV that pretty much anything could be excused until he actually opened the door to see it. He was almost done when the door swung open by itself. He looked up and heard the computer say “-get it.”

With a full visual of the inside of the base, what he saw was quite possibly the furthest thing from ‘normal’. (Man, Zim really had been here long enough to settle a baseline of ‘normal’, hadn’t he? Time flew...) Zim had on a frilly pink apron, but more importantly, he was hovering over several tiny irkens that were crawling around on a blanket. A particularly dark green one was in Zim’s hand, and he was licking their antennae as they squirmed around, making some noise Dib couldn’t quite hear. That was mostly because one with curly antennae was screeching their absolute lungs out, and Dib slapped his hands over his ears.

“Zim, what the hell is going on?” 

Zim looked up, before grinning. “Ah, Dib-human!” He stood up, carefully weaving through the tiny aliens (‘tiny aliens!’ Dib’s brain screamed at him, ‘right in front of you!’) to hold up the one he’d been licking. (Grooming?) “Behold!”

“I’m beholding,” Dib said numbly as he reached up a hand to tentatively hover over them. “Where did you get them?”

“I made them, of course! Hoo boy is that a funny story-”

“You made them?” Dib looked over Zim’s head to see them crawling over each other. “I didn’t even know you could do that.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know, Dib. Secrets of the mighty irken race that I’ve been able to keep secret from your prying-”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re superior and all that.” Dib stepped around him to crouch down in front of them. “So you were pregnant?”

“Eh?”

“Pregnant. Or your partner was, whoever they were.” Dib made a rounded motion over his stomach, freezing when one of the babies grabbed his hand. Zim didn’t start screeching at him to let it go, so he carefully settled on his knees to lift it up, cupping his palms. It made a chirp that sounded almost like it came from an old video game. It was a mixture of clicks and of a ‘pew pew’ sound, and was possibly the best thing he’d heard in his entire life. 

“Yes, I was. I had the smeets a week ago, and here we are!” Zim settled down cross-legged. “That’s Vi in your hand. She’s one of the quiet ones.”

“Hi, Vi,” Dib said as the baby (smeet, Zim had said?) yawned, showing off her gums. “You’re the quiet one, huh? That’s weird, considering your dad.” He looked up. “So who’s the- er, other dad?”

“Other dad?”

“You know, who helped make them? Unless irkens reproduce asexually, which would be pretty weird for a species as advanced as yours. And besides, they all look kind of different.” Dib looked over the smeets on the blanket- except for maybe one, they all had something that distinguished them from Zim, either in color, antennae, or eyes. Zim cleared his throat.

“I don’t see why that should matter, they’re here now.”

Vi squeaked in his hands and turned, reaching out for Zim, and Zim scooped her out of Dib’s hands. “It’s alright, mean stinky Dib won’t hurt you when Zim’s around.”

“Hey, I didn’t do anything!” Dib planted his hands on his hips before there was a tug at his pant leg. Another smeet- this one with eyes that looked frighteningly like Zim’s- had gripped it, staring up at him. “You really made all of these?”

“Why else would they be here?”

“I don’t know, I wouldn’t put it past you to steal a bunch of babies. You’re weirdly maternal when you get in the mood.” Dib carefully picked the smeet up and it cooed happily, making more of the beepy noises. 

“I wouldn’t!” Zim gasped, aghast. “Besides, why would I take this many smeets that weren’t mine? One or two would be perfectly fine, but only I could make nine perfectly healthy ones at one time, thank you!” 

Dib petted at the antennae of the one in his hands, and they kept making happy sounds, so he assumed he was doing something right. “So you had all of them at once? They are pretty small, but- geez, how big even were you?”

“None of your business!” Zim snapped as Dib squinted, trying to mentally shove all nine of the smeets back inside of him. Yeesh, he must have been a complete ball. Dib wished he could have gotten a picture. Now that he was really examining him, though, he could definitely see that Zim looked softer than before. His uniform top was just a bit tighter around the middle, and as Zim shifted, his hips looked larger than usual. Huh. So Zim wasn’t just pulling this out of his ass, he really had…

“Wait, how long even is irken gestation? You were gone for four months and seventeen days, how on Earth-”

“It wasn’t anywhere on Earth,” Zim scoffed. “And it was long enough, obviously.” 

“There wasn’t anyone on Earth, right? Skoodge left a while ago, didn’t he?”

“Yes, he stopped living in my base. That was years ago, Dib, keep up.”

“Ga!” The smeet reached up for Dib’s mouth, curling surprisingly tight fingers around the bottom lip. Dib tried to gently pull it away, but it just clung tighter. As if on cue, two more of the smeets started crawling on top of him, like he was some kind of human jungle gym for them. Zim started snickering.

“It seems that Jash likes you, Dib-worm.”

“Ah tol’ ‘ou- ey!” Jash’s grip tightened as one of his siblings started flicking the buckle on the front of Dib’s boot. The other was just staring up at him and using his pant leg to stand on wobbly legs. They had wide, fascinated eyes, and Dib couldn’t help but feel a little twinge in his chest.

Dammit, why did baby aliens have to be the cutest things ever? He was only a mortal man, and he wasn’t made of stone, no matter how much he tried to remember that they were Zim’s and were thus at least 50% pure hellion.

“Keep this up and I might bring out the freeze ray to make a Dib-statue and let them learn motor skills.” Zim was still grinning, with the smeet with curly antennae had been screaming in his hand. He was running his thumb up their belly and they were making the same happy-noises as Jash had been. Huh, maybe they had just really wanted attention. He knew he’d hate to be one of nine siblings, Gaz was more than enough.

“Hey, one just crawled under the- come on!” Jash grabbed his glasses in an attempt to climb up his face and nearly pulled them off before Dib adjudged them. “What do you want, huh? Huh, little guy?”

Jash lifted his hands up, opening and closing his fist. “You’re already up, what do you- oh, okay, you’re climbing on my face again.” Dib pulled Jash away from his nose before he stuck a hand up it, setting him on top of his head instead. The smeet started batting at his hair lock, and it kind of tickled. 

“I’ll have to clean him,” Zim said, clicking his tongue as he reached under the couch, cheek smushing the tile before pulling one of the smeets out by the scruff of their neck. “That is, unless you’ve improved in your bathing habits since I’ve been gone.”

“Hey, I’m getting better about that! I think!” Dib protested, looking down without turning his head to see that the same smeet as before was still playing with his shoe buckle. “How long are they going to be this size?”

“Eh, ten to fifteen years, give or take a few months?”

If Dib had been drinking something, he would have spat it out. “What?”

“They’ll be speaking within the next few months, of course, and it will be nice to have some intelligent conversation besides you.” Zim was intently watching the group on the blanket, blowing raspberries at a little gaggle of them. They let out high-pitched laughter, especially when he lifted them one at a time to repeat the action directly on their bare bellies.

“Oh, right, Paks probably speed things up, huh? You’re going to have your hands full, though. And I thought Gir was enough. Where is he, anyway?”

“In the lab. He isn’t allowed near the smeets until I can make sure he won’t hurt them. And I can handle anything, I am Zim!” 

“You’ve somehow survived six and a half years on a planet that actively tries to kill you, so you probably can,” Dib admitted. Jash started squeaking, so Dib carefully pulled him off his head and set him down next to the one messing with his boot. After staring at each other a moment, Jash started tugging on their antennae instead, and they began rolling around, pulling at each other’s mouths, arms, and antennae. Their beepy sounds were excited and when they fell apart, they had big baby-grins on their faces. 

Dib scooted a little closer to the blanket, and one with purple eyes stared up at him. Their antennae were curled- maybe they were female? That could be a sex-linked trait, Tak had had curly ones too, hadn’t she?- and they set a hand on his foot before smiling.

Yep, there went his heart. Melted right out of his chest and into a puddle on the orange and red tile.

“I wouldn’t mind babysitting, you know.”

“I told you, I can handle anything! And if you start poking and prodding at them-”

Dib made an ‘X’ over his chest. “Cross my heart, I won’t hurt them. You can even tell the computer to watch to make sure I don’t do anything, but nine is a lot. I can’t imagine irkens raised their kids completely alone. I’m not going to hurt kids.”

Zim narrowed his eyes, but when the one at Dib’s feet chirped up at him, he tapped his chin.

“Perhaps. But I’ll be watching you.”

Dib carefully stroked a hand over the surprisingly flexible antennae of the one at his feet, a smile growing on his face. He knew he was probably signing up for disaster, but hey, what was life without a little chaos? “That’s fair.”

[kyle-valenti]

As the Sun Sets the Moon Rises (4/?)

By the time summer lapses into school session and the first month has gone into September, the four-wheeler incident is all but forgotten. While Max and Isobel give wary looks to each other around Kyle at first, nothing changes for Michael at home. If Kyle had questions, he reserved them for their father-- likely not trusting Michael to be honest given the chance to mess with him-- and after things revert to their usual familiar distance.

Eighth grade begins with a new sort of pressure from teachers and parents that Michael isn’t familiar with and not sure he likes. High school still seems far away in the beginning of the year, and graduation and adulthood too distant. Classes are easy for him anyway, and he sleeps in them often no matter how many eye rolls he gets from Liz Ortecho. Michelle Valenti, however, is set on the idea that both of her sons will go to great colleges and get the hell out of Roswell, especially Michael. For him, it’s more than a good future, it’s a safe future. Somewhere that aliens aren’t on the forefront of everyone’s mind and the belief in them much more rare. He understands, he does; but the nagging about grades and projects is increasingly annoying.

Jim Valenti takes a different approach than nagging, and somehow even though it’s never spoken, both Michael and Kyle know they’re now in competition. While Michael found class too simple, Kyle had often found class pointless altogether. This year they only have two classes together, Physics and Biology, but the problem lies in the fact that Michael exceeds in one Kyle exceeds in the former now that he suddenly cares.

Today as they leave Biology, Kyle having cockily shoved his perfect test score into Michael’s face only for Michael to covertly flip him off, the bell rings and Kyle holds him back. “Hey, hold on.”

“What, going to talk up how you’re going to be some master research doctor surgeon still?” Michael asks sarcastically. “Already told you spacecraft engineer beats you.”

“No, that’s not it,” Kyle says, rolling his eyes and pulling out a slightly crumpled blue envelope out of his pocket. He shoves it at Michael, who cautiously accepts it. “Liz invited you to her birthday party.”

Michael pulls a face out of confusion. “Ortecho? Why ?”

The girl is smart as hell, of course, and constantly the main competition of both of them in their science based classes, but Michael’s maybe talked to her five or six times total, all of the conversations required by being lab partners. She hung out with an entirely different crowd, and as far as Michael knew, Kyle only spent time with her via Alex.

“Think about it,” Kyle replies, looking impatient, and then it clicks. Max . Max’s crush on her had somehow become more increasingly obvious now that there were things like school dances and dating, but Michael hadn’t really paid enough attention other than to tease Max to realize that Liz might actually have a crush in return.

“He’s going to chicken out.” Michael laughs.

All Kyle does is shrug, adjusting his backpack and walking off toward the cafeteria. “I did my duty.”

Following not that far behind, he heads a sharp right to Kyle’s left upon arriving to the cafeteria, and he tries not to gloat too much as he reaches Max and Isobel at their informally assigned table. Hesitancy runs from them into his mind as he approaches with his far more happier than average sarcastic baseline.

Before Isobel can make some snarky curious remark, Michael waves the envelope at Max and enjoys watching him choke on his orange juice as he announces, “Liz Ortecho wants you at her birthday party.”

“ What?” Max fumbles, trying to wipe off the small spray that hit his clothes as Isobel giggles at him and shakes her head. “Why? Says who?”

Michael throws the card to him. “Apparently I’m invited and the only reason on earth she’d invite me is to make you come.”

“You don’t know that,” Max frowns, ever one to hang onto denial.

“Oh come on, Max, don’t be dumb,” Isobel adds in with a sigh. “Even I got an invite and we’ve talked maybe once since fifth grade.”

“She’s probably just being nice.” Max argues again, his head down as he still focuses heavily on drying his shirt with napkins grabbed from the table and not the fact that his crush is actually reaching out to him.

Ever one to settle an argument at almost any cost, Michael only pauses a second before deciding to push it. Isobel catches a flash of his intention from the way she looks up and gives a slightly amused but warning look, but Michael’s already decided as he tells Max, “Let me ask Kyle for you.”

“ Don’t you dare, Michael ,” he hisses, but Michael yells across the lunch room anyway. “Kyle! Come here!”

Max angrily steps on Michael’s foot and once again Michael is grateful that Isobel had convinced Max that the whole cowboy look was out of fashion because he can’t imagine the pain steel toed boots would have caused. Either way it’s too late, Kyle’s attention is already caught, and even though his adopted brother looks extremely annoyed at being summoned, he still comes over.

“What?”

Smirking, Michael asks, “Is Liz going to be horribly offended if Max shows up without an invitation?”

“You interrupted my lunch for this?” Kyle demands, but when Michael only shrugs a shoulder at Max, Kyle dryly tells Max, “You’re an idiot.”

“Excuse me?” Max asks, offense rising, but Kyle rolls his eyes and follows Michael’s suit by yelling across the cafeteria for Alex. Max is now sending Michael the worst look he’s probably ever given, turning red as he snaps under his breath and reinforces mentally, “ I am going to kill you for this .”

Michael is too busy trying to catch a breath between his laughter, doubled over even as Isobel is desperately trying to be diplomatic and stop giggling herself, and Alex comes over with a look of curiosity at the scene. Kyle claps him on the back before sarcastically asking, “Do you think Max is invited to Liz’s party?”

It says quite a bit that Alex only gives a short laugh at first before turning to Max with amused pity. “If Liz finds out I’ve said this, you better blame Kyle, but she’s been trying to find a way to get courage to give you an envelope all week. Why do you think Michael is invited?”

Gesturing to Alex now that his point is proven, Michael’s ignored as Max snaps at him. “Are you done dragging the entire school into this?”

“I don’t know, where’s Deluca and Rosa?”

Max lunges for Michael, but luckily Isobel stops them and Michael can’t help but continue laughing.

=======================

Birthday parties are not Michael’s scene, but the adamant threats Max gives requiring him to show up to Liz’s party make him go. The Crashdown is closed for the day, red balloons and streamers everywhere, and Michael is at least happy to note that the good restaurant food is provided on top of just black forest cake. None of the guests end up being people he talks to often. Liz’s circle generally only included her older sister, Deluca, and Alex; and the only people who showed up outside of that were Kyle who had also been roped in by extension. Presents begin to litter one of the tables-- more than the amount of guests, which Michael has to admit is impressive. Max nervously places his wrapped gift on the table, looking like he’s considering about taking it back at the very idea she may not like it. Isobel’s also brought a gift for politeness’ sake and Michael scrawls his name in addition to hers on the gift tag, inducing rolled eyes. He flashes her a smug grin and looks around to see if Kyle’s brought something as well. There’s an envelope with his writing, and Michael is highly suspicious Kyle spent little effort via giving cash or gift card. Simple, but effective.

Once the food is served, Liz’s mom announces she and Liz’s dad are leaving for their own date, something her dad looks displeased about (especially when her mom gives both Liz and Rosa a wink). After the cake and presents routine, Michael is mentally begging Max to let him leave, but all he gets is Max silently shaking his head and shooting him pleading looks. Isobel sighs beside Michael, also giving into Max’s shy desperation for morale support.

“Games upstairs!” Rosa announces, and Liz gives her sister a look but it’s too late. Deluca has jumped up and followed the direction, cueing Isobel to shrug and follow as well. Alex is smiling and shaking his head as he continues up the stairs, and Michael shoots Kyle a curious glance as they slowly follow the crowd. Kyle only shrugs as if he also has no idea what Rosa Ortecho’s plans could be.

It turns out neither does her little sister, because the second they’re all upstairs in the small but cozy sisters’ bedroom Rosa announces, “Spin the bottle!”

Liz, just like Max would at the public sibling embarrassment, looks mortified. “ What, Rosa? No!”

“Come on little sister,” Rosa teases. “You’re thirteen now, not ten. Time for your first kiss.”

“No one said it would be my first kiss!” Liz argues, her cheeks turning a little pink in a way that suggests to Michael it definitely would be her first kiss. Not that she hadn’t had options, but at least from Michael’s limited outside perspective, she’d always seemed like a good Catholic girl.

Deluca giggles beside them, the upper freshman looking at her friends with amusement.  “Rosa, come on, they’re still in middle school. Leave her alone.”

Liz looks torn between thanking her and glaring at her, and Michael interrupts in the interim to see how much trouble he can add to the situation to save himself from dying of disinterest. “Hey, no one else was consulted on this. I’m down. I know Max is too.”

The bruising punch to his arm he gets from Max is worth it, especially when Isobel joins in and Max’s irritation at both of them is once again strong enough to feel telepathically. Michael is having a very hard time keeping his laughter silent, and there’s a definitively coy tone to Isobel’s addition. “There’s nothing wrong with kissing is there?”

“It’s Liz’s party, guys,” Alex says firmly, and Michael sees Kyle try not to roll his eyes. “She decides.”

“I mean, I guess we’re almost in high school anyway,” Liz replies, blushing furiously and very obviously avoiding looking at Max.

Rosa woops in excitement, grabbing a bottle out of what seems like nowhere and plopping herself onto the hardwood floor. As fortune would have it, they evenly match in sides of people related to each other as they sit, so it looks easy to avoid respins. Before the bottle even touches the floor Michael gets distinct warning glares from not only Max but Kyle as well, his obvious advantage of control something they’re scared of. Both of them are right to be nervous given his mischievous mood, but he lures them into a false sense of security by decidedly not mentally reaching out to the glass at first.

Rosa spins first. Of all the mismatched people in the group, Rosa and Alex are the first to go, and they laugh through the entire thing, making it seem more like a child’s game than anything else.

“Boring!” Liz laughs, giggling with them as well, now looking definitively less nervous. While the birthday girl’s mood has definitely changed for the better, Michael can’t help but notice that Kyle’s has done the opposite at the sight of hers. Something about it seems new and out of place, but he can’t put his finger on the reason yet.

Alex spins, but it’s Maria that it lands on, her just barely angled enough that she ends up having to kiss Rosa next. Liz’s eyebrows shoot up and Alex makes an encouraging laugh that causes Deluca to glare at him. Whatever dynamic Michael’s missing makes him curious, especially the second that Rosa huffs and momentarily stops the teasing by kissing Maria. There’s much more into it than the kiss with Alex-- especially when absolutely no giggling occurs-- which makes Michael raise his eyebrows, but then Deluca pulls back out of nowhere and Rosa snaps back to normal with only one finger to check her lipstick. There’s no time for anyone in the group to ask questions with how lightning fast Maria decides to spins again, fatefully still being picked on, this time with Michael.

“Ugh, seriously?” She asks, scrunching her nose and sarcastically asking, “The universe decided I have to kiss just anyone?”

“Think the universe might be more busy than to focus on your make out practice, Deluca,” he shoots back, rolling his eyes. She pulls a face at him in return, but Liz gives them an amused look as she nudges Maria’s shoulder playfully and says, “Come on, Maria. Rules.”

Maria sighs heavily, but when their lips finally do meet, Michael has to admit she does kiss well. It’s good, even if Michael isn’t entirely sure she’s trying to hide a sexuality crisis. He isn’t sure if the taste of cinnamon is hers or left from Rosa, but the way that Maria fits her lips around his is definitely better than some of the other random girls he’s kissed on the back of the bus just so he could say he’s kissed before.

They pull back after Liz starts laughing, and the entire side of his circle are making faces at them. Kyle and Isobel are seemingly both grossed out while Max seems more teasing. Teasing he can take on, though, and the second he spins the bottle he makes sure to pause it on Liz and Max.

Max freezes, as does Liz, and while they’re both busy turning a shade of red almost as dark as Rosa’s lipstick, it’s Maria’s turn to shove Liz forward (maybe a little more forcefully than Liz had in revenge). Michael can feel the blast of Max’s happiness when the two shyly kiss, as can Isobel from the way she smiles and shakes her head softly. Kyle’s the one to raise an eyebrow at Michael while they’re ignoring the bashful idiots, clearly asking about the influence on the bottle’s direction, and Michael shoots a smirk and shrugs.

Maybe if he hadn’t admitted to it, things wouldn’t become so immediately awkward, but as the bottle spins again and lands on both Alex and Michael, he knows he’s screwed without even looking over. With the same outside energy fields that Michael constantly has to try and drown out he can feel the way that Kyle tenses, but there could be a million reasons. A million reasons that don’t seem to matter when Michael’s faced with the now detrimentally insecure face of Alex Manes.

“Oh come on, Maria and I kissed,” Rosa scoffs when the pause is longer than even Max and Liz’s had been, but before Alex can literally run away Michael kisses him.

He isn’t expecting the kiss to be anything. Alex Manes has always been Kyle’s quiet but sarcastic sidekick, albeit increasingly more attractive as they’ve grown older and Alex’s confidence and social circle has expanded. Honestly he’s just expecting it to be quick and over and something that he can just explain away to Kyle in the aftermath. But as rapidly as Alex had frozen, he equally melted into the kiss, and then they were mirroring the exact energy as him and Deluca until Michael pulls back at the sound of angry footsteps down the stairs.

Isobel gives Michael a rather guilt-inducing stare, but Max is kind enough to distract the group as Michael gets up and discreetly leaves for the stairs to find Kyle moodily sitting in one of the booths, arms crossed and head grumpily leaning forward. At least until Michael is closer. Then Kyle stands up to be on equal, but furious footing.

Trying to mitigate damage by speaking first, Michael lifts his hands and replies, “Didn’t  spin that one, promise.”

“Yeah, and then you just fell on his lips?” he demands, arms folded and an angry expression that doesn’t match the subtle tone hiding underneath the sound of his rough words.

He scoffs now, ignoring that later it’ll be his turn to have hell thinking about it. “What was I supposed to do, Kyle? Be an ass and say no?”

“I would have if it was Isobel!”

Taking a jab just to push things, he replies, “Yeah me kissing your childhood crush isn’t the same as you kissing Isobel.”

“He’s not my crush,” Kyle spits back, but there it is, the inkling Michael had edged toward just earlier after Alex had kissed Rosa. Jealousy. The kind that only came from loving someone in a way you desperately didn’t want to.

Pausing only for a beat, his anger blew out, but he still pushes. He pushes because if Kyle can admit something so monumental, then Michael wouldn’t have to. “Right, so the storming out of the room when another guy kissed him, that was what? So you could come down here and get leftover cake?”

“I don’t like guys.” Is Kyle’s clipped response. “The problem is you kissed him.”

Michael sarcastically huffs, shrugging. “So prove it. Go kiss him. I’ll stop the bottle for you.”

“I don’t have to prove anything.”

“Yeah and what? You’ll just leave the party now and make it look like you’re even more jealous?” he snaps.

While Michael thought the comment would get a rise, he didn’t realize how much. Maybe he’s stepping too much over the line, but he doesn’t care, not even as Kyle moves further into his space, clearly about ready to fight. “Shut up already.”

“You’re the one who got pissed at me,” he reminds. “Sorry I’m confident enough to not care and kiss him first.”

Kyle throws the punch that Michael expects, but then Max is downstairs in the between of Michael recovering and gets in between them surprisingly fast. Michael still owes Kyle a punch to the jaw that he’s aching to give, but Max is too tall for him to reach around without being too forceful with the powers he should be hiding.

“What the hell you two?”

Neither of them speak as Max looks back and forth, still busy glaring at each other, but Max isn’t completely oblivious and asks the delicate question with a slowly dawning look on his face. “Is this about Alex?”

“You don’t even talk to me. Let’s not start,” Kyle replies, moving around Max with a shove to the shoulder, which forces Max to hold Michael back from kicking his ass. Surprisingly enough, Kyle goes back upstairs, but Isobel comes down at the same time and heaves a dramatic sigh as he passes her and she spots Max’s hand still forcefully on Michael’s shoulder.

Once she reaches them Max lets his shoulder go and Isobel gives Michael the kind of stare that rivals Michelle Valenti’s. Quietly, she snaps. “Why on earth are you antagonizing your brother after you’re the one who kissed Kyle?”

“I didn’t realize he felt that way!” Michael defends himself, albeit a little weakly when Isobel continues to give him the guilt inducing stare as she raises an eyebrow and pointedly asks, “Okay, Michael. Is this really Kyle’s gay crisis, or yours?”

“I like girls,” Michael shoots back, trying to ignore the way that Max is looking between both of them.

She doesn’t even blink. “Yes. And?”

“What do you mean?

Isobel sighs impatiently. “You can like both. It happens. Right Max?

“Yeah,” Max adds after a quick second of shock at being dragged into the argument. He looks supportive, but he also looks like a fish out of water, and fumbles as he adds, “Like.. I mean I want pie and Isobel wants cake, and you can want either.

She can’t seem to help it, she laughs, and even though he’s completely on edge even Michael finds it hard not to smile as he rolls his eyes. Isobel shakes her head. “Oh God, Max, how do you convince anyone you’re human?”

“What? I agree with you!” Max asks, looking embarrassed. “There are plenty of writers-- okay besides the point,” Max stops when he gets two glares, and then he turns. “Michael, you know it’s not a big deal to us, right? We love you regardless.”

“There you go,” Isobel teases Max, before also telling Michael, “He’s right though. We love you no matter what sort of taste you have in girls-- because if you date Maria Deluca I might kill you-- or boys. But, you know, maybe don’t try to date Alex Manes if you want your home life to be smooth.”

Max nods. “Now, are you guys going to come back upstairs or--,”

“I literally helped you kiss her.” Michael scoffs. “You can handle it from here.”

“Sorry,” Isobel agrees, not looking very sorry. “We’ve reached the limit of watching your brother desperately fail to flirt with his soulmate. I’m going to go take care of this one.”

Michael shakes his head at her, even if he appreciates it, and they leave with Michael wondering how the hell his life was going to go from here… High school hadn’t even started.