#pinkany

[carla7900]

Second batch of attacks!! :]]

1— Aya, from TheMimiControl

2— Andy, from @optimalotter

3— Orpheus, from @havoklysm

4— Alora and Faerora, from @sapphiremoon24 and Thewigglyplant

5— Juuga, from @xurkitry

6— Bisbee, from SinVicious

7— Pinkani, from @anivethia

[freeze-chan]

Icon for my Mew/ Poochyena, Pinkani

Character Owner @freeze-pop88

Tools Paint Tool Sai 2 Mobile Studio Pro 13"

Commission l Patreon l Facebook l Ko-fi l NSFW Patreon

Do not recolor, alter, trace, repost or steal the art of characters featured in this piece. Only the rightful character owner may repost. No one has permission to trace or recolor.

[the-elemental-sides]

From The Other Side: Prologue

A/N: HERE IT IS, the prologue inspired by this AU. I honestly don’t know if l’ll be continuing this; it depends on the response. But I think the idea is really cool, so this was lots of fun to write!

Tagging everyone who showed a bit of interest: @alix-the-skeleton, @generalfandomfabulousness, @hayleycreagine (name credit!), @fangirlfiles1, @fandoms-winkitywonk, @i-put-the-purr-in-perfect, @vexation-virgil, and @mymotiveformurder (I really liked your addition, I might implement parts of it in the future if that’s okay!)

Blanket warning: This is a story about the afterlife. It treats the subject of death and various things related to it (existence, heaven & hell) with a degree of lightheartedness. If casual death talk makes you uncomfortable, proceed with caution!

***

“So, er...Pinkani, was it?”

“Picani, actually.”

“My mistake. I was just distracted by your, you know. Your wings. They’re quite lovely, by the way. Do I get some?”

“Thank you,” said Picani, ruffling his pink-and-white feathers self-consciously, “and no. Because like I said, Roman, you are not an angel.”

Roman grumbled a bit. “That still doesn’t sound right to me. I may not remember much, but if there’s one way for Roman...uh...whatever-my-last-name-was to perish, it’s by heroic sacrifice! Fighting a dragon! In a volcano!”

“Actually, you fell off the stage during a dramatic production of Macbeth.”

“The Scottish play,” growled Roman. “Figures.”

“In fact, you didn’t perform so many heroic deeds at all. Don’t get me wrong, you were...decent. But, in your quest for a heroic life, you lost sight of your true goal of helping others. Your priorities skewed more towards taking the perfect selfie in front of a burning building.”

“Absolute blasphemy–wait, were they really that perfect? Can I see some?”

“Sorry, they’re not on file.”

“Blast.”

“But don’t worry, you certainly weren’t bad enough for Hell,” Picani assured him. “Which is why we’re signing you up for community service.” He paused dramatically. “Purgatory!”

“Ah,” said Roman. “So that’s a definite ‘no’ on the wings.”

***

“All I’m saying is, this is one hell of a grading system you’ve got here!”

Picani laughed. “Gosh, Patton, I can’t remember the last time I met a human with such a wealth of afterlife puns! I’m always looking for new ones to share with the office.”

“Actually, I was serious,” Patton said, his smile fading slightly. “Not to sound greedy, Doc, but I really thought I was doing okay. Where did I go wrong?”

“You were a pretty morally astute person, Pat. You tell me.”

Patton sighed. “The lies.”

“The lies,” Picani agreed. “We know the world is tough, Patton. But you can’t keep yourself so willfully ignorant your whole life. It’s bad enough to lie to yourself, but when you lie so much to other people?”

“Is this all because I kept telling my fifth graders that Santa was real?”

“I’m afraid there was much for to it than that. For example, your friend’s illness…”

“Right,” Patton said, wincing.

“To treat a disease, you have to acknowledge it,” Picani chided. “But you kept the truth from her because you didn’t want to face the reality. And because of that, it was so much worse than it could have been.”

“Believe me, I know,” Patton said softly.

“Chin up, though. Incidents like that put you over the edge, but overall you got pretty close. And that’s why we have the limbo system. We’ll get you into Heaven eventually.”

Patton slumped in his chair. “I should’ve known. I never stood a ghost of a chance.”

Dr. Picani chuckled gently as he jotted something down on his clipboard. “You’re on a roll.”

***

After scanning the brochure for the fifteenth time, Logan looked up. “I’m sorry, but I simply don’t understand,” he said. “I’m definitely dead?”

“That you are,” said Picani.

“And now I’m being sent to purgatory?”

“Yup!”

“All based off arbitrarily-judged propensities built into my character throughout my existence?”

“They’re called morals, but yes.”

“Well, I don’t get why I have to go through this...process,” Logan complained. “It all seems so tedious. And unscientifically sound. Where’s my eternity of oblivion? I was starting to look forward to it.”

“Well, we do things differently up here,” Picani said. “And, if I may say so, your flippancy over the system is what landed you here in the first place, Logan. Your problem is your extraordinary lack of desire to care. For the last twenty years of your life, there was hardly a single person you decided to help out, let alone treat as an equal.”

“I decided early on that my goal as a sapient creature was to seek knowledge,” Logan stated flatly. “If what you’re saying about my diligence is true, then I believe I succeeded. The only thing that bothers me now is that you’ve gone ahead and erased most of my memories. Doesn’t that render everything pointless? Without knowledge, who am I?”

“Well, Logan,” the angel said, “you’re going to find out.”

***

Picani’s last appointment of the day was with Virgil, who was a bit like a feral cat: snarly, snappish, and sarcastic. But Picani had dealt with worse.

“I’m just finishing up the paperwork,” he assured Virgil, who slouched in the chair across from him. “Your application was a bit tough, but I managed. Do you have any questions?”

“No,” said Virgil. “Honestly, I’m just surprised I’m not in the fire-and-brimstone place right now.”

“I won’t lie to you, it was close. You were kind of a moody guy, huh?”

“I hate people.”

“But motivation and situation most definitely factor in. I don’t see a Mr. Put-Down when I look at you, Virge. I see a guy who was, above all, scared. You just had an unhealthy way of dealing with it.”

“If you had my parents, you’d lash out too,” Virgil muttered.

Picani paused. “You remember your parents?”

“Am I...not supposed to?”

Picani started furiously flipping through files while Virgil shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “No, actually. We erase the memories of our clients to make the transition easier.” He mumbled to himself and searched through more stacks of enchanted papers. He picked up a sheet with Virgil’s name on it and swiped to the left. The words on it changed. “Ah, here we go...oh, this is interesting. Virgil, you are strongly resistant to our memory erasing procedure.”

“Am I gonna get in trouble?”

“No, I’ll have a talk with Remy about it. It’s interesting, though. You have such a strong tendency to cling to past memories, especially negative ones, that you simply aren’t affected by being told to forget.”

“In seventh grade, I accidentally called a teacher ‘Mom,’” Virgil said gravely. “It haunted me until the day I died. And it still haunts me, I guess.”

“Well, it’s no matter,” Picani said with a smile. “I’d even call it a good thing. It shows that you’re as good a candidate for our purgatory system as I thought you’d be.”

“Purgatory system?”

“Yes. Basically, it’s community service. Read this while I clean this mess up, please.”

Picani handed Virgil a single sheet of paper and went to work restacking his files. Virgil’s eyes narrowed with increasing suspicion as he scanned through the information. Finally, bewildered, he looked up.

“...What the heck is a ‘Side?’”