#pity is up to 50 now so i gotta remember to factor that into my calculations in future -w-)

[gachaparadise]

eheh ^w^ finally got my first beetle clear in the SimU :)!!! only level one but i'm sooo happy. with how bad it beat my ass when it released being able to take my really poorly considered team and beat it felt sooooo good.

Also!!! i did a couple of celebratory 10 rolls and i got Lynx! two of her even! (i also got 2 hooks but let's not talk about those)

[atypical60]

There!  I said it and in doing so made up a new word. “Fuckeduptedness”.  There’s no need to explain the word either.

It’s a time of reflection for me because in less than three months I’ll reach my 65th birthday.  It’s a weird age, it is—because it signifies the true entryway to Senior Citizenship. When you are between the ages of 60 through 64, it still sounds a bit young.  65 is that magic age. Smack between the early sixties and…seventy!

I may be getting older but I know how to rock!

And other than the usual neurotic thinking such as in 65 years from now I won’t be around—which kills me because I want to be; and the fact I am a failure in my career because I was never able to re-enter the workforce in the type of job I had in NYC, gives me a never-ending pity party. it really ain’t too bad!

…but not yet!  I gotta squeeze a lotta life out first!

We—our generation is a more youthful bunch of old people. We are not our grandmothers or grandfathers either.  We be cool!  We are fun!  We do what we want.

And They hate it!!

Who’s they?  I’ll explain. They are the experts (In their own minds) who pontificate about how we are to dress. How to wear our hair. How we are to live.  They make up the rules we have to follow.

And therein lies the fuckeduptedness of being old.

I’ll give some examples.

When you are old, or if someone younger feels you are old, oftentimes are spoken down to. It’s almost “old people baby talk”.  For some reason people seem to think as you age you no longer hear  nor can you comprehend even the simplest sentence such as “Have a pleasant day.”  We may have aged but we have become smarter and wiser so stop speaking down to us. For God’s sake, I didn’t even speak that idiotic baby-talk to my children when they were babies!  Just stop it!

Ugh. If any adult ever spoke to me in baby talk, he or she would have huge welt across their face!

People also have a tendency to speak LOUDER to you?  Why is this?  I’m the loudest person I know—please do not try to compete with my loudness or I’ll bust your eardrums! You takin’ to me?  I hope not because you don’t sound to bright.

OMG!! There is NO reason to shout at me. I can hear you!!!!!!!!!  Stop it!

The “anti-age” factor.  This is bullshit.  I want to bitch slap the marketing idiot who created that term because he or she needs to be thrown into a jail cell. Age needed to be celebrated!  Many don’t make it to their fifties or older.  My brother was one so don’t even get me started!

Airbrushed, photoshopped and anti-aged.  Ageing is a horrific experience to be ashamed of–isn’t it?

The second you leave mommy’s love canal; you begin to age. Does anti-age mean that we should all stay a few hours old? Because that’s basically what it means?  Why not pro-age?  We’re happy to have those birthdays.  We’ve accomplished great things.  Why anti-it?   Which brings me to….

The Beauty Industry.  This they despise us. This industry views us as cows out to pasture.

 True dat!  The Beauty Industry treats us  lder ladies like cows put to pasture. And these are French cows that I hung out with a few years back while hanging out in the Burgundy countryside.  We got along well–we related to each other!

They will use late-teen to twenty-something models in their “anti-aging” campaigns. And worse yet, will advertise foundations, concealers, primers “made” for us and use those same young models.  There’s plenty of gorgeous mature women with lines, creases and wrinkles on their faces.  How come they aren’t used?

Kendall Jenner featured in Estée Lauder’s 2015 campaigns.

Yes. This is twenty-something Kendall Jenner. Estee Lauder,  a cosmetics company that the “Mature” customer could relate to, now has to look at younger models to figure out just how the hell any makeup will look on their older skin. This is the fuckeduptedness of old!

It drives me nuts too because this is an industry that thinks it’s so “forward” by using gay men wearing make up to prove how diverse they are.  No. You aren’t diverse.  And neither are ads with one obligatory young white girl, one obligatory black girl, one obligatory Asian girl, one obligatory Latina and one said gay guy diverse or inclusive.    Show me the seventy-year old woman of all colors and show me that old gay guy and only then will you be truly diverse.

Where the fuck is the old lady–or old man–or the physically disabled person.  No. You are NOT diverse until everyone is included. Go find a wrinkled person.

They, the Village Green Fashion Policing Society:  How many times?  How many magazine articles?  How many internet postings do we have to be tortured with when it comes to what we should and shouldn’t wear.  I can’t even with this one.

I will wear my skinny jeans, my mini skirts and above-the-knee dresses.  Hoop earrings will continuously remain dangling from my ear lobes.  Over-the-knee boots will continue to be worn.  And nobody will or should dictate how anyone should dress.  Especially the older demographic.

I will continue to wear my leather pants with pointy-toed boots..

I will continue to wear my miniskirts with boots..

As an old, shriveled, wrinkled old prune of the pro-age, I’ll keep my ripped jeans thank you!

And I will wear those glittery heels.

And I’ll continue to wear my hair long. Even if it IS fake!

It saddens me to see that women my age, mid 60’s and in their 50’s and even older fall into that misconception that they need to dress like an unstylish, unattractive wallflower.  Why?  Why can’t a woman who is of the pro-age, boomer generation dress as wonderfully as she feels.  Wait.  Some women don’t feel wonderful. And it’s because many women have given up.  And no wonder.  Fashion magazines are splayed with clothing brands that only advertise young, nubile women in clothing that the older woman can wear and wear well.  It is an absolute disgrace and one of the reasons I haven’t bought a fashion magazine in over a year.  I’ve not renewed any fashion or beauty magazine and have no desire to pick one up.  In fact, I’ve allowed my Allure subscription to expire because they never followed up on their promise to stop using the phrase “anti-age”.

The very last Vogue magazine I read was when Wintour placed Kim and Kanye West on the cover.  If I want to read about celebrities, I’ll buy Star or People.  Fashion magazines have become trash. Bring back the actual models and get rid of the celebrities. Better yet, showcase the magazine’s true demographic of the “over 40” woman!

The Corporate “They”. This is a touchy and personal one.  Perhaps for you too, or someone you know.   Life events happen.  Some are great. Some aren’t.  And somewhere along the line, many of us, regardless of the life situation, have to re-enter the workforce.

Sad but true. Due to corporate closures I’ve lost a couple of jobs and I’ve never recovered the earnings that I’m worth. Think about that one–that’s the story of almost every person over 50 who has reentered the workforce and it is shameful and sad!

Corporate America and Small Businesses do not want to hire anyone over a certain age. It’s bad enough to seek employment over 50 but to seek employment over the age of 60 is a near-impossible feat.

three people over age 50 are holding up signs that tell stories about ageism they faced in the workplace

It’s all true.

And it sucks. It sucks because our generation has such a stellar work ethic. We come from backgrounds where we were taught how important values are.  Granted, many of us aren’t technically gifted the way younger people are, but we are quick learners.   The amount of information and computer skills I’ve learned from each job I’ve had is invaluable.   As a whole, we are open to new ideas. We are excellent workers. We don’t call out sick on a Monday due to excessive partying over the weekends. We won’t need a day or seven off when the kids are off from school or if they are ill.  We are there 100 percent.

It’s incredible because corporations get tax breaks for hiring the disabled but they don’t get anything for hiring the mature demographic. Perhaps they should, then maybe more of us would have the jobs we deserve!

They think we aren’t cool.  Oh yeah.  Ever get the eye-roll, side eye or smirk from someone younger?  I’m sure you have.  Perhaps it’s happened when you listened to the current top 40 music. Or discussing a movie or book or …. basically anything.  It’s because they think we aren’t cool.

Wise words.  No generation will ever be as cool!

Let me tell you something about “cool”. We are of the coolest generation ever.

That boho look?  We started it back in the late 1960’s.  We had the Summer of Love.  Our demographic got politically involved. The Youth Movement protested. We questioned.  We wore clothing that our parents disapproved of.

My favorite Beatle, George Harrison and Patti Boyd, hanging around playing guitar and smoking at the same time. Now THAT’S a feat!

Why—I remember the most beautiful pair of Madras plaid hot pants I purchased with babysitting money.  I wore them to go out and my parents made me go back upstairs to change. Those were the days alright.   We wore miniskirts and tattered and patched jeans. We had “head shops” where those who did not use bongs and roach clips could buy peasant tops and patchouli or ylang ylang oil.

Show me a modern-day fashion designer as cool as Mary Quant. Her iconic Mod look changed everything.  And we had her! And she’s still influencing how women dress!

We had the slick cool of Jimi Hendrix and the raspy cool of Janice Joplin.  I do not think there is anyone currently in the music industry as cool or as talented as they were. I’m biased but it’s true.

NEW YORK – JUNE 1970: Blues singer Janis Joplin on the roof garden of the Chelsea Hotel in June 1970 in New York City, New York. (Photo by David Gahr/Getty Images)

The sad thing is that she never got the chance to pro-age..

….and neither did Jimi.  That’s anti-aging.  They never made it to pro-age.

We danced.

And dance we did!

We partied.

And partied hearty, I might add.  Booge. Oogie. Oogie!

We enjoyed life. And we still do those things. It’s just that we do them at a more measured pace!

And at her age, she can light up whenever she wants!

And therein lies the fuckeduptedness of old.  It’s not how we perceive ourselves it is how they perceive us.  And as pro-agers rather than anti-agers, maybe it’s time to start a new movement!

Others see me as the figure on the left. An old, grumpy, unstylish old woman who should be thrown to pasture.  I see me as I am on the right.  Stylish, pro-aging, and only grumpy when I’m in rush-hour traffic!

What say you?  Do you feel the same way that I do? Do you find yourself being ignored or shoved aside due to aging?  Do you think we aren’t respected the way we should be?  I’m really curious to find out! Do you like my new word??????

The Fuckeduptedness of Being “Old” There!  I said it and in doing so made up a new word. “Fuckeduptedness”.  There’s no need to explain the word either.

[theveganliciousrunner]

Brazos Bend 100

Event date: 12/09/2017

Oh geez, how do I start? I guess a good place is to answer the question - Why? Why would I want to put my body through this for the 2nd time? It’s so painful, the course is so flat, recovery takes a long time, it’s not the cheapest thrill out there, etc. But before I get into the why ... I’ll describe the experience first while the pain is still super fresh.

At packet pick up. Gotta love serendipity after looking at Charles’ shirt.

RACE DAY

After a solid 6 hour sleep (with the help of melatonin), I woke up at 2:30am, in disbelief, and asked out loud, “What the eff am I doing here?!”

Charles and Phil looked at me, then at each other as if to say “Oh boy, it’s going to be a loooooong day.”

In a strange mix of matter-of-fact and dream state, I ate breakfast, taped my feet and dressed for a cold weather run like I would for a winter 50k back home. The biggest difference being that my friends were getting ready with me. Charles was my crew chief and Phil would pace me for the last 2 loops (out of 6), over a 50k distance.

Rocking my derelique fashion sense. Photo courtesy of Phil.

We all agreed it was best to get to the start line early. It was so cold that all the cars at the Best Western parking lot were wrapped in ice sheets. Phil quipped that it was like looking at sparkly teenage vampires. While I cracked up, good ol’ Charles was watering down the car and Phil tried to blow smoke rings.

When we got to the park, all the other cars there were running, blasting heat inside and exhaust into the air. Then, with 10 minutes to go, we walked to the start. I was very happy I brought the long jacket so I could stay warm once I took off.

The brain is funny. It was only once I started running that I finally accepted the hard fact that I was here to push my body to finish a 100 mile distance. So I made the best of it. I marveled at the few runners who weren’t wearing much. I saw shorts/singlet combos and three ladies wearing tutus as their warmest covering. Although they weren’t elites, I’m sure they were moving much faster than I would be and therefore, generating much more heat.

Around mile 2-3, I caught up to a guy pulling a 22-pound tire around his waist. What? His name is Steven Monte and we shared about 25 miles. Since Dallas is flat, the best way for runners to train for mountains is to pull a tire. He started training with a tire for Cruel Jewel 100. Then, since Brazos Bend 100 is so flat, he wondered if he could finish it with the tire. Side note, he also does this race without any support, just to make things as hard as possible. 

Here’s a link to training with tires, just in case anyone is interested: https://ultrarunning.com/featured/lugging-along-the-benefits-of-tire-pulling/

The first quarter of the race was super fun because we swapped stories and I learned about other crazy, crazy races around the country that he’s done. I also got to enjoy his local celebrity status as every 5th person made a comment on the tire (a handful were original) and every 10th person wanted a picture or high-five. The energy and inspiration surrounding Steven and his tire was infectious. By mid-2nd loop, I started getting nervous about my pace, so I waved good-bye to Steven and picked it up.

Above is one of Phil’s shots.

Below is the only picture I took during the entire race because I had to stop, take off my pack, and pull out my phone to snap it. It’s an American Alligator.

Brazos Bend has the challenge of having a super flat course going in the same direction six times. Just after 2 loops, I started imagining the Sri Chinmoy Self-Transcendence 3100 mile footrace in NYC which goes around one city block. But even that race allows runners to alternate the directions of their loops. I’m not whining though.

On the 3rd loop, I made a new trail friend, Austin, who was running his first 50 miler. I was running my own race now and Austin kept up. We had to split because he wanted to stop and greet his family at an intersection near the start/finish. He caught up with me an hour later and we chatted some more, but once his race neared the end, he was able to surge forward and finish as my proverbial tires began falling off the cart. Despite this, the 3rd loop was my best loop overall, because it was mostly daylight, my brain was still working, and I generally felt strong enough to keep up a decent pace.

THE SECOND HALF

Sigh. What can I say about starting my next 50 miles? I would start in the dark, I was tired, I was behind my planned pace. I forgot to ask Charles for my music. The ramen served during the race was not vegan although I was told it would be. Nowhere on the website said that I could have a pacer during this 4th loop although at packet pickup, it was announced that I could’ve had a pacer at the 4th loop. I’m not whining though.

In the middle of my pity party, a lovely lady came alongside me named Gabriela Martinez from San Jose, CA. I knew Gabriela from North Face 2015 when I gave her a ride to the shuttles and also when she completed 75 miles at Headlands while injured earlier this year. She is such a strong runner, I was surprised to see her. She needed to spend 30 minutes at the medical tent to get her foot taken care of from the aftermath of Achilles surgery. What? Note: She does not have pacers or crew for her races.

Gabriela was a godsend. She talked my ear off and I loved every minute of it. My brain and body were shutting down and it was wonderful to learn about her extraordinary life as I could not find the wherewithal to run ... at all. Gabriela was so encouraging and she even set our power hiking speed. Nearing the end of our loop together, I was so out of it, that I was convinced she and I had accidentally cut the course because we were talking so much. It took Gabriela, a couple of volunteers and my calculator to assure me that we followed the course correctly. Lordy!

After that brutal loop, we finally, FINALLY got back to the start/finish where my beautiful angel friends were waiting for me although Charles was breaking down himself. He normally has a high tolerance for cold, but he was not prepared for this weather. As crew, this meant that he’s been exposed in the cold all day without reprieve, just waiting to take care of me for a few minutes after I completed each loop. What’s harder? Running 100 miles or taking care of your friends, being in charge of dozens of details while staying up for 30+ hours? That’s a tossup.

Charles and Phil walked me to the bathroom so I could do my business, change to dry tops, switch out my headlamp and add another layer. When I came out, they told me that I had eaten up all my spare time during loop 4 and that I had to boogie if I was to make the 7am cutoff.  Alrighty then. I had not planned on chasing cutoffs, but here we were.

Bless Phil. He had no idea what he was dealing with. This was going to be our first time “running” together and all he knew was that during loop 4, I was sending nonsensical texts and that I took much longer than I should have. He started his job with a bitch faced f-bomber with a bum knee. Phil truly saw the real me during these loops. 

Thank god Phil was there to pull me through. I loved that I could shut my brain down completely while I listened to his happy chatter and followed his fresh feet. Following him still took a lot of effort so I wasn’t talking much (I think) as I focused all my energy on moving forward and keeping him in sight. 

Aside from screaming because I thought I saw a rat close to my hand while I was peeing behind a bench (it was just cobwebs mixed with fatigue), there isn’t much to report on loop 5. I do remember that Phil said we were ahead of cutoff by 30 minutes and we passed a lot of people. That made me happy but I wanted more cushion. That made him happy because he knew he wouldn’t have to do any brain surgery on me to keep me going. 

When we finished loop 5, Charles wasn’t there. It was unexpected but completely understood. When Charles crewed me at Javelina, he was able to rent a tent and sleep a little so he would have enough energy to pace me the final 10 miles. For Brazos Bend, there is nowhere to sleep unless you have a trailer. Even in the car, you can’t sleep if you’re constantly turning the engine on and off. So Charles, desperate for some rest and to warm up, left for the hotel. 

He only missed us by 30 minutes ... bless him as he still tried to catch us. But all went well as cool-headed Phil, in a matter of seconds, was able to find what Charles had pre-prepared: hydration pack, coffee and music. Then we skedaddled on that last gosh darned loop 6.

Below is the picture Phil could take before his phone died at loop 6

My body doesn’t want to ingest calories in the wee hours of the morning. It wants to sleep. So when I do eat something after 2am, it gets confused and wants to eject what I’m consuming. Combine that with the bouncing, I feel nauseous. As my brain was turned off, I asked Phil if I had to eat or drink at all as I had started to belch constantly. I think I belched for the whole 50k we spent together. 

This is how awesome Phil is. Even though we were under the gun, he kindly explained I have to eat and drink, but I shouldn’t run at the same time. That’s a recipe for disaster. So sacrifices need to be made. I can eat, drink and walk, then he’d encourage me to run again once a few minutes had passed. I also don’t believe Phil ever let up on the pace, even as he was getting super tired himself and that he had to factor in my cranky right knee.

As we neared the end, I was still nervous. I was nervous because I REALLY wanted to walk to the finish but there was not enough cushion for that. And then we both looked up and there were no flags at the intersection. WTF. There were no signs as well. I was indignant. They couldn’t even wait for us to finish?? They had to sweep the flags and signs??  And I felt so stupid because after 5 loops, I should remember the way back home, but I didn’t recognize this intersection. OMG, I was going to DNF with less than 2 miles left!!!

Phil, who kept his cool, backtracked. I obediently followed and saw the familiar bridge, which we had missed. Oops. We might have lost 10 minutes from that detour, but it was enough to get me going faster than I wanted to. 

Phil’s phone had died pretty early on so he couldn’t call/text Charles to tell him how close we were. But then, a mile away from the finish, we saw them ... the beautiful faces of Charles and Victor. I was ecstatic to see them! They had been waiting all day for this. This was the only point where I could finally relax because neither of them were making me run. Thank goodness!

Victor took this sweet picture of me shuffling toward the arch.  I was the Dead Last Finisher (DLF) and damn proud of it!  96 finishers 101 non-finishers

Thanks to Charles for this pix of me with the sweet buckle.

Gear Shoes: Brooks Ghosts 10   Socks: Injinji Headlamp: NAU Hydration Vest: Ultimate Direction Jenny Watch: Garmin Forerunner 935 (died after 27 hours which is pretty good) Clothes: Various brands on sale

Nutrition Breakfast - Rice and beans Next 30 hours - Fluid Performance, MamaChia, beans & tortillas, pickles, pickle juice, potato chips, Oreos, Coke, Sportlegs and salt tabs, 4 cans of Starbucks Cubano double espresso coffee

Note: 7 days later, I believe the key to my fast recovery was the steady source of protein (beans & tortillas) during the race and definitely the recovery drink immediately after the race. 

THANK YOU!

Charles and Phil, if either of you ever need an organ, or the moon and stars, you know who to ask first.

The tire guy, Steven Monte. Thank you for your stories and for inspiring me to live life to the fullest like you do. I’m waiting to see you on the cover of one of these trail magazines.

Gabriela, mujer, thank you for staying with me even though you could’ve left me behind. It was inspiring to eat your dust as you pulled away in that last loop. We did it!!!

Victor, always a pillar of positivity and class-act sportsmanship wherever you go. If I have one regret it’s that I wasn’t wearing the Victory Sportdesign cap (that I love so much) at the finish line. Thank you for being there!

Jesse Ellis of Let’s Wander Photography. I totally thought you were running!  Ha ha!  Can’t wait to see the photos and thank you so much for being out there.

Rob Goyen, thank you for this race, and thank you for waiting for all the runners to come through. You and your wife and team of volunteers are wonderful.

Coach Bob Shebest who only had 7 weeks to work with me. Your words “Don’t burn through your glycogen stores” kept ringing in my head.

Greg, always putting me back together after I do these crazy things. Love you!

THE AFTERMATH

I know it’s not inspiring but it sure was needed and it was actually pretty fun. I’m talking about how Charles took care of me the following morning. I was pretty screwed up. My bodily movements appeared halfway between stiff and cadaver. When we got to the airport, Charles thought that I should use a wheelchair. I was like “Well, I’m still walking if you can hang with this.” He promptly beelined for the wheelchair. 

It was a cool experience. While Charles stood in line at Starbucks, I played with rolling around in it and it was pretty easy and intuitive to maneuver. Plus, BOOM! We got to jump in front of all the lines and got the best seats on the plane. At Oakland Airport, they have employees to help get our luggage and then push us to the shuttles. I don’t know if y’all want to run 100 miles to get this treatment, but I’m just saying it was pretty awesome.

When Greg got home, he explained that the tingling I felt on the bottoms of my feet are the nerves being impinged from all the swelling. From my notes on Javelina, it took 5 days before I was able to run 2 miles. I’m hoping it’ll be the same or sooner this time.

Tree trunk legs from the swelling. No blisters though!

SO WHY?

OK ... thanks for sticking with me for this long.  

The reason I ran this race is to prepare myself for a self-supported 500 miler around the San Francisco Bay Area. 50k/day for 17-20 days. It’s called The Bay Trail. http://baytrail.org/  And the reason I want to run this is to raise the seed money for my for-purpose charity - The Animal Run (TAR). With the help of friends within the running community and my sister, I’m still setting this up and I’m hoping the website will ready by next Feb.

When will this 500 mile run (50k/day) happen?  I’m shooting for May 2018

What’s the fundraising goal? $10,000

What’s the seed money for?  To hold 1-2 races per year to fundraise for non-profits whose mission is to enhance the lives of all abused and neglected animals

When will the first TAR race be held? I’m thinking August 2018

Which charities will be the initial beneficiaries? TBD but I do have a short list

So it’s still a few months away, but please look out for my notifications about The Animal Run and donate generously if you can. Happy Holidays!

Paz y amor

Video credit: Charles Dexter Lim ... the best crew chief in the galaxy

WHAT TO DO BETTER NEXT TIME

Bring turmeric pills for the inflammation

Bring cranberry pills for the kidneys (super cranactin)

Load up on glucosamine MSM before and after the race

Wear compression socks for legs and feet on plane & @home

Ice my legs and feet down asap after the race & once I get home with a cold blanket or cold wrap kept in the fridge

TRACKING MY RECOVERY

Race ended Sunday 12/10 - Got a 1.5 hour massage 

Monday - Needed a wheelchair at the airport

Tuesday - Still in pain. Did not leave the house ... still shuffled ... able to get adjustment. Spent the day writing the race report.

Wednesday - Still limping but got another 1.5 massage (which worked wonders for my gait). Got another adjustment.

Thursday - Walked to Transamerica from BART in the morning and then walked 2 miles to meet Charles & Phil. I limped most of the day. But I was walking normally at the end of the day. No anti-inflammatories.

Friday - I’m recovered 100% except for the knee. It’s still sore when I got out of bed, but I was able to clean the house.

Saturday - Spoke to coach Bob. No running until the knee is 100%. We’ll focus on staying active with swimming, yoga, maybe biking. I might not run again for 2-3 weeks or mid-Jan at least.

10 days after the race ended, I still have not worked out. Knee is much, much better ... but the twinge is still there. Still not 100%

Finally, on 12/24, I woke up without knee pain.  Woo hoo!

My knee stayed tweaked although I was only running 1-2 miles. I took a complete break from running between Feb-March 15.