#playing with blocks... in a strange childish and detached sort of mood...
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today i'm going home so i can get my flu shot and vote with my family... hopefully both go well
#melonposting#the last time i went home was for my covid booster and to spend rosh hashanah with my family#...neither really went well honestly haha#i won't go into detail on the family stuff#but i half-fainted half-dissociated after getting the covid booster#i had gone to the cvs with my dad and i was already feeling bad cuz of the family stuff#and then we got there and i got the shot. eeeugh terrible#i sat down in one of the chairs nearby to rest a moment#like i am after any vaccination i was nonverbal and mentally disturbed#my dad tried to give me water but i didn't move to take it#after a bit he said we should head home sooner rather than later so i could rest#then i suddenly got up and walked in a random direction without him for some reason#i bumped into a shelf and fell over#weirdly i had no emotional reaction to it at the time#i just felt pain in my face where i hit the shelf and could hear voices asking if i was okay#then i got up and my dad took my hand and led me out of the cvs#he asked me why i'd gone off by myself. of course i wasn't in a position to answer verbally anyway but i genuinely didn't know#my memory of the event was fuzzy immediately after it happened...#so we went home and i went upstairs to my parents' room so i could have time alone to rest#needless to say i cried :') i was uncomfortable and in pain and confused and distressed#i recovered over the next few days at home for rosh hashanah but i felt weird the entire time#physically... feeling feverish and woozy...#and also mentally... staying cooped up on the couch in the living room for hours#playing with blocks... in a strange childish and detached sort of mood...#like i was a terminally ill child in a hospital bed#it was very strange#i'd been well aware at that point that i react badly to covid boosters but this whole experience was just bizarre#i'm able to cope with flu shots better. they're still disturbing but my physical/mental reaction is less severe
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