#please don't think i'm mad or trying to be overly critical but i just realized why the fandom's handling of his attempts at vulnerability

[once-in-a-blood-moon]

Something about the way people talk about Solomon's dismissal of his vulnerability rubs me the wrong way. (I don't have any specific examples, I'm just gonna hope you know what I'm talking about lol.)

I've never seen anything inherently mean, but I have seen comments that seemingly take offense to his "just kiddings" when he expresses his feelings, whether it's romantically or talking about past hardships... And I couldn't pinpoint what it was that confused me about the fandom's responses to that until now.

What Solomon is going through in moments like those is a trauma response. And yes, while trauma responses aren't always beneficial and can sometimes be hurtful to others or the person responding that way themselves, reacting with "negativity" to said responses just makes it worse.

Solomon has an avoidant attachment style, which means he struggles with opening up and being genuine in his feelings even if he wants to. I, myself, am the same way. More often than not, I also follow up a heavier topic with "I'm sorries" or "just kiddings." The thing about this, is it's not meant to be malicious. So, when I see people taking Solomon's comments as if it's a slight to them, I just...??

I can almost guarantee that if those comments where said to him right after he'd attempted to open up, even if it had good intentions, it'd probably make him want to close back up completely. Because there's no patience to his avoidance, no acceptance to why he behaves that way. There's just this perception of not being understood or that his feelings/thoughts aren't safe. It just feels like he's not allowed any grace.