#please note i did NOT read this over so typos etc are prob abound

[jennamacaroni]

hacks paleyfest s2 ep1 recap SPOILERS ABOUND AHEAD UNDER THE CUT like as much as i could remember, nearly five google doc pages of truly deranged shit, so if you dont want to know anything about what happened DO NOT GO FURTHER you’ve been warned.  for those thirsty for the deets... ENJOY :D

(ty to @mmbopjen and @tarynlatx for their help)

they showed the episode first before the panel, made clear it was not a finished copy and there were still some tweaks/edits/visual effects to add in, etc

the sound in the theater was INSANE like the bass was so loud it was overwhelming and ridiculous

EPISODE

picks up right from the finale, they’re on the PJ and deborah is asleep and ava is just freaking the fuck out.  they actually pipe in a really loud heartbeat (which with the sound setup was literally shaking the theater omg it was A Lot) and she’s just looking over and over at deborah panicking then there’s this turbulence that wakes deb up and so she starts looking at her phone and suddenly all these notifications are coming in.  and ava’s like oh fuck “uhh you’re kinda blowing up there?” and deborah is frowning down at the phone, then she’s like “WHAT DID YOU DO” and ava’s like “okay let me–” but then the camera cuts to the dogs and barry is eating a grape.  deborah to ava:  “stick your hand into his mouth and get it!”  ava:  “uhhh what”  deborah:  “REACH INTO HIS MOUTH” and ava does bc of course she does

then they’re landed and coming down off the plane and greeted by someone from deborah’s staff, “welcome home ms vance” and you can tell deborah is happy to be home.  they walk off the plane BOTH CARRYING A DOG like literally one in each of their arms i fucking lost my mind.  they pass off the dogs to the staff dude then deb is like “lets go get in the car” and ava is like “ya kno im just going to call an uber.  i want to go to the palmetto and pick up some of my stuff” or whatever and deborah is just like “um no we are going home right now we have a LOT of work and planning to do for this tour”.  deborah has this energy and fire about her, you can tell she’s ready to put in the work and do the damn thing.

okay there are a bunch of scenes in the ep re: jimmy and kayla and having to deal with HR and the sexual harassment shenanigans but i dont remember the timing or frankly much of the detail bc lbr not what im here for but they are funny as fuck as usual.  but that’s all i’ll really say on them.

there’s a scene in the car from the airport to the mansion.  ava and deb see deborah’s giant posters for her residency are literally being white-washed and painted over in real time and they’re just looking at it happen.  ava:  “wow that was fast”.  then jimmy calls thinking he’s only talking to ava but ava puts him on speaker so he knows not to say anything about the email.  awkward convo about nothing takes place, then deborah is just like “PLANNING MEETING ABOUT THE TOUR WHEN WE GET HOME,” reaches across ava to her phone and and hangs up on him.

title screen is a close up of deb’s giant face being painted over.

meeting at the mansion with marcus, josefina, damien, and ava (that promo pic of deborah standing by the fireplace and everyone gathered in the study).  marcus says basically all big national venues are already booked and deborah is like fuck it we’ll do the tiny dumpy comedy clubs im not above that.  but also the nice tour bus she wants isn't available, the tour manager she wants died (deb: “did we send flowers?” marcus and damien: “yes”).  ava was basically silent the whole time.  deb:  “well does anyone have anything positive to add?  anyone???”  and josefina chimes in:  “you know what this will be a great time for?  re-painting the molding” and deborah is like “YES COOL great”

scene of ava in the christmas room, first she calls the british writer chick, asking “as a friend” for them not to use anything she said in the email because she was upset and deborah had just slapped her (foot in mouth).  writer:  “she SLAPPED you???” and ava is like oh fuck def just made that worse.  the writer is basically like “sorry girlie we’ve already passed it all onto our bosses its too late” and then she’s like “not to mention the last line of the email was ‘i release all my rights to this do whatever you want with it’” oops

then she turns around and calls jimmy:  “i really think i should just tell deborah,” jimmy “DONT SHE WILL KILL YOU and then ME just dont say anything” and ava is like well actually i just called the british chick and made it worse sorry? Jimmy asks her to do him a favor and throw her phone in the ocean

NEXT DAY:

ava and deborah having breakfast together, paper is missing the arts section (josefina pulled it out so deborah couldn’t see the review of her 2500th show) and deborah is like oh i dont give two fucks about reviews (lol okay deb, sure)

scene of ava at the palmetto in the luggage storage room with ray.  she can’t access her room anymore since deb no longer has a comp’ed room so her stuff was packed up for her, ray put a bunch of it into a black trashbag. ray:  “oh also this came for you” and hands her a bright shoebox.  she opens it and pulls out a tennis ball can full of dust.  ray:  “are those… ashes?”  yep they are half of her father’s ASHES.  ava immediately calls nina, who picks up and is on the exercise bike in ava’s old room.  ava: “why did you send me his ASHES mom?” nina: “well i have half” so clearly ava needs the other half like it was the most obvious thing in the world.  ava:  but why in a TENNIS BALL CONTAINER???  nina:  well i know you’d call me complaining about whatever urn i sent them in so… and ava just ends up hanging up on her and is clearly emotional / trying not to cry.  she apologizes to ray, tells him her dad just died and he’s like “ah yeah i get that, my dad died last year.  sorry.”  then they share this really lovely hug and ava’s like “man all this time and we could’ve been.. friends?”  and he’s like “yeah, maybe” and it was just really a sweet and unexpected empathetic moment of human connection.

deborah coming into the breakfast area of the mansion and finding dj eating breakfast alone (josefina’s chicken pot pie, “forgot the peas so it tastes like shit”).  deborah is like, “you’re eating pot pie at 10am i know something is up” so DJ tells her that she and aiden have been doing IVF and the second try just failed.  it was news to deborah that they were doing IVF, DJ is there basically hiding.  she doesn’t want to tell aidan that it didn’t work bc she doesn’t want to mess him up before his fight.  deborah then is basically like “uhhh what are you doing you cant have children with this man you barely know and just only married like a second ago” like she is still so clearly distrustful of both men AND DJ’s decision making and obviously DJ gets upset and is pissed that once again deborah is not supporting her in the way she is hoping for.

prob more jimmy/kayla here? idk

scene with marcus showing up at wilson’s to ‘return some of his stuff’ and some other dude answers (roommate possibly? wasn’t clear).  turns out the box contains just half a bag of granola and an almost brand new flonase.  marcus is then like “uh yeah tell him im… going to a party”... “no tell him im going on a date”... “no party’s good” then just sort of runs away.  poor bud misses his water cop.

deb goes to DJ to apologize for the way that she reacted to the IVF news. DJ to deborah at her apartment “you know my rule,” then they say in unison, “don’t open any closed cabinets.”  it’s cramped because aiden moved in and DJ compares herself to a military wife bc he is literally in combat all the time.  there’s a rifle on the coffee table and deb is like “oh FINALLY you got a gun!” and DJ is like uh HELL NO that’s aiden’s paintball shit.  anyways aiden is there and is so excited to see her and hugs her (awkward af from deb) and keeps calling her mom and you can tell he’s really trying to get on deborah’s good side and desperately wants her approval which he’s clearly NOT getting. after he leaves she tells DJ “the mom stuff has to stop.” DJ:  “i know, but he’s from ohio.”  DJ asks deb to go to the fight because it means so much to aiden (and her), but deb is hesitant.  first because “you know i hate seeing men’s bare feet” (lol) but also “you know when i show up to these things the spotlight is always on me, so it’s better if i don’t go” but finally agrees because she really is trying, ya kno?

at the fight:  deb and ava show up but because deb is no longer employed at the palmetto, the bouncer she has known for years turns her away and tells her she has to go to the public entrance.  even ava to the bouncer guy is like, serious bro?  deb is obviously miffed.  starts the night off on a bad foot.  deb is wearing a navy sequin jacket because of course she is

deb runs into wayne newton, greet each other as “mr las vegas, mrs. las vegas”

deb then goes up to marty and the mayor and marty is like “wow didn’t expect to see you here” because ya know bad feelings or whatever and also marty:  “i know you don’t like seeing men’s bare feet” with this gross smirk.  but deb is like “i’m here to support my son in law” and marty sincerely says “its good to see you”.  then they mention his new girlfriend and they look around for her then she’s coming down the aisle and she’s actually age appropriate??? so obviously that really pisses deborah off bc how the fuck dare he finally date someone older and its not her? so she’s all pissed going back to her seat and is just staring daggers at him.

kiki is next to ava and just pulls out her purse and it’s fucking full of popcorn

DJ tells ava to tickle her arm and just holds out her bare forearm and ava is like uh wtf but okay bc of course she does.  “no, scratch my arm, really use your nails.”  DJ notices that deb is sweaty, actually from walking around from the employee entrance to the regs in the heat, but dj thinks it’s because she’s nervous for aiden and that’s *bonding*

deb thinks the in-fight host/emcee is going to come over and interview her/spotlight her (bc he mentions a palmetto residency) and she fluffs her hair in anticipation.  but the host goes over and talks to the guy that is taking over her residency instead.  deb obviously gets even MORE upset and gets up to go to the bathroom to take a moment.  ava immediately gets up and follows because she knows that must've been hard for deb and she needs to be there for her.

bathroom scene, deborah is putzing in front of the mirror (i remember surprisingly little about this i clearly must've blacked out sry - thanks to my wife who remembered).  ava:  “are you okay?” and deborah then admits that she read the review in the vegas sun and basically it said it’s no longer “her time” anymore and basically she was obsolete and that she wasn’t sure about doing the tour and ava is like “you cant possibly care about what they say in the local paper do you?” and deborah sort of looks at her and is like “its my hometown paper” and she looked so heartbroken?? then ava is like “i think you’ll feel different once we’re out on tour”

cue the fight itself:  (which was really well done??? jen made a comment on the panel about how good lucia is at directing.  “she directed that fight scene and it was like straight out of rocky”).  aidan is getting the shit kicked out of him like totally being owned just taking hit after punishing hit.  DJ makes a similar comment parallelling the newspaper re deb that it’s not “his time” because he’s new to MMA and clearly he is not going to win the fight.  plus the guy he’s fighting is like really really good, his nickname is the ‘maimer’.  aidan gets pinned so there’s a break in the fight and deborah is just like *OH FUCK THIS* and just gets up out of her seat, walks determinedly right down the aisle, through the barricades and right up to the corner of the octagon where aidan is recovering.  and his coach is like uh what the fuck get this lady outta here and aidan is like no, let her stay.  and deborah is just like [very paraphrased here clearly] “listen.  i know this is is the fucking climb but what you have to do is find his weakness.  you find that weakness and you fucking hit it.  and then you hit it again.  and again and again and again until you win this bitch” and she’s clearly talking to herself but he’s clearly listening and nodding and then she’s like fuck it.  “YOU’RE A VANCE NOW so go fucking DO IT” and she just stays there while he jumps up and hops back out into the ring and SHOCKER he starts winning and landing blow after crushing blow, backing this dude up right up to where deb is standing.  one final shot to the face and we just see this huge blood stream fly and splatter right across deborah’s face and she has this huge maniacal grin on her face.  there will be blood, indeed.  end scene.

more kayla/jimmy here?

leaving the fight deborah tells ava to pack her stuff they’re starting the tour tonight.  ava is like uhhhh what?  “none of the stuff is ready” or whatever and deborah just says “just you and me, they’ll meet up with us in a few weeks”  (A FEW WEEKS???? LADIES WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ON YOUR OWN FOR WEEKS like are you just going to head out in the rolls????)

goes to DJ’s apartment and DJ answers.  deb: “sorry if i woke you?”  DJ is like “oh nah i have to stay awake to make sure aidan doesn’t fall asleep and slip into a coma, we’re reading harry potter.”  deb tells DJ that she’s leaving to go on tour, and holds out the keys to the mansion, telling her that she should use her house while she is gone, you know, just until they find a place of their own. DJ tries to brush it off.  deb:  “please, DJ.  all those times you should have been at home and not in comedy clubs.” (fuck me up why dont you)  DJ finally agrees and is clearly touched:  “is there anything you want me to do while you’re gone?”  Deb:  “i’d rather you not touch anything”

deb goes back out to the car and climbs in, turns to ava and is like “we gotta make a stop”.  they stop at the newly painted massive residency poster for dudebro who took over deb’s slots at the palmetto, and deborah shoulders that paintball gun like a fucking pro, and shoots red paintballs all across his massive face.  ava is clearly very scared considering the email is still v much the guillotine blade hanging over her head.  anyways deb was very ‘betty draper with the shotgun energy’ if yall know that scene in mad men RIP to all of us fangirls.

end of ep.

they really emphasized throughout the ep deborah struggling with becoming obsolete and no longer being the queen of las vegas.  the massive posters advertising her show are being painted over right in front of her, marty has a new girlfriend who is actually age appropriate for the first time (and its not deborah how dare he), at the fight they spotlight the new dude who took over deborah’s residency rather than deb, she’s upset about the review in her hometown paper, etc.  “no longer her time” and you know, she took that personally.