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lucas-koh · 4 years

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Stitches - Bryce Lahela x MC II

Also uploaded to Ao3! Go check it out there if you’d like my user is margotmuses

Doesn’t follow canon, but elements of canon. FWB.

Song: Feel Real - Deptford Goth

Rating: M

Word Count: 3409

Please check out chapter one first if you haven’t already!

Taglist: @lahellacute @tyrilsnightbloom @bubblelaureno

Chapter Two: Suki’s Flip-Flop, Intensive, Very Long Day

On a pretty big whim, Sienna, Jackie, Aurora, and Elijah had decided to look at apartments and move in together on the walk home from Donahue’s. Turned out none of their current living situations were ideal, and as crazy as it sounded, Suki felt like this might just work out. Weirder stuff had happened, right? She’d lived with complete strangers in college, so this was no huge thing, really. Over the following week they scored themselves an absolute bargain of a stunning top level apartment which overlooked the classic Boston skyline. Somehow, they’d managed to convince the landlord to rent to them for cheap, and soon enough everyone started to move their stuff in.

To celebrate their gorgeous new apartment, the group decided that they would throw a housewarming party at some point in the next few weeks. Planning was immense - everyone wanted to do something different, plus finding time where everyone would be off work was difficult. Elijah had never thrown a house party before, so he was overlooking most of the planning, while Sienna and Suki did tasks such as stocking up on cheap booze. Aurora didn’t really want to get involved in the planning side of things, too focused on her studies, but was looking forward to the party all the same. She was crazy grateful to be able to move away from her overbearing aunt. Jackie also wasn’t so involved in the planning, but more out of lack of interest in making plans. After a week or so, they’d decided on a date. All that was left to do was to invite everyone. And, yeah, that pretty much meant everyone.

Suki’s mind had been pretty occupied, mostly by a certain sun-kissed surgeon who’d swayed her to The Stone Roses. Since that first night, Suki had only seen Bryce in passing in the corridors, always taking lunch breaks and the like at different times due to the different demands of their jobs. He’d wink or grin at her and for a moment she’d be completely focused on only that. Not to mention the all-consuming sexual chemistry they had with each other being sparked each time they merely passed by one another. She was continuously bothered by the strange familiar feeling she felt with him, increasingly frustrated that she couldn’t pin it down.

About two and a half weeks in, Suki was suffering from an absolutely awful day. None of her patients were looking at a positive outcome, and she was feeling utterly helpless about it all. Existentialism: Doctor’s edition. She’d shut herself away in a supply closet to be alone with her thoughts. And to cry. What good was being doctor if you couldn’t save lives? And everything felt like a minefield. One wrong move and it could all implode. Misdiagnoses were so easy to make and so incredibly dangerous, she could prescribe someone a medicine they were allergic to and make their symptoms broaden, or even just upsetting someone because there was nothing she could do. She worried she wasn’t ready for this job. It was all very well reading up about illnesses and treatments, but actually putting it into practice? Dealing with real life people? So incredibly intimidating.

Abruptly the door creaked open and Suki jumped back.

“Oh! Sorry, I didn’t… think anyone was in here.” It was Bryce. Of course it was. He looked just as good as ever, framed in the dark by the light from the hall. “I just needed to get some suture kits...”

“It’s fine, just shut the door,” her voice cloyed but she tried to subtly wipe the tears from her eyes.

He did as she asked and came closer towards her. Even though it was dark, he noticed the red rings round her eyes and wet cheeks.

“Hey, hey. What’s going on?” His voice was soothing and gentle, his usual cocky demeanours put on a shelf.

“It’s just… I feel like I have too much power. I pretty much get to decide who lives or dies. I get to decide which words to use to ruin someone’s life I-“ she couldn’t help it as the tears began to pour out again. She wasn’t sure why she was baring her soul to Bryce, but something in her knew he would know what to say. He stood and listened, watching patiently. Bryce stepped in so he was closer to Suki.

“If I tell someone I’ll save their life, but I can’t, how am I supposed to live with myself? How do I tell a parent their six-year-old will never see it to seven? Bryce…” she continued, her eyes were wide and glassy as she stared up at him. Hearing her say his name like that stirred something in Bryce he wasn’t quite comfortable admitting.

“I know. But you’re damn good at your job, Suki. If you tell someone you’ll save their life, and you do, how do you not believe in yourself? How do you tell an old man he’s in remission? There are so many good parts to this job. It’s hard as shit, yeah, but we knew that. It was never going to be easy.” He lifted up his free hand and ran his thumb softly along her eyes to clear her tears.

“But it’s my fault. If I fail a patient... Maybe I shouldn’t be here.”

He laughed a brief hearty chuckle. “You made It through med school, climbed your way to the top of the medical interns at Edenbrook, and you really think you’re in the wrong place? I’ve seen those rankings, Moore. You’re good crop.”

She gave him a lopsided smile. His confidence had a way of rubbing off on her.

“Every doctor has their moment of doubt. It’ll pass.” He continued.

“How do you do it?”

He shrugged. “I just know I’m damn good at what I do. It’s still early days, Suki. Just let it come and go.”

She nodded and felt the desire to hug him. Lucky for her, he held his arms out to her and she collided with his hard chest, again. She still had her arms crossed in front of her, but moved to cradle her head into the crook of his neck, shifting her body so she was leaning into him. Bryce’s arms enveloped her, like a large, hard, teddy. She felt like a baby, cocooned and cooed at by the light soothing motion Bryce was drawing down her back. It felt like the most natural thing.

“Shit. I guess you are damn good at what you do,” she said. Her voice was muffled by Bryce’s scrub top, but he heard her all the same, and couldn’t help but grin at the girl in his arms.

“I told you, I’m a talented guy.”

She pulled her head back after a minute, looking up into his brown eyes, which were honey like his skin usually, but deep and alluring in the dimmed light of the supply closet. His arms still cradled her.

She suddenly wanted to tangle her fingers into his hair and kiss him passionately. Because despite the snark, the ego, the cockiness, he’d made her feel better after an incredibly difficult day. And there was definitely something scandalous about being in a supply closet together. The thick sexual tension that had been whirring for two weeks now was at an all time high. Her eyes flirted down to his plump lips, still ghosted with a smile. Her heart was pumping right out of her chest, she was surprised he couldn’t feel it against his own. The chemistry could be cut with a knife. She tightened her arms around herself as she made the flash decision. Without giving him too much time to back out, Suki swiftly moved forward and pressed her lips to his.

He hesitated at first, still as stone, giving Suki a moment to freak out – shit, he doesn’t want to be doing this. I made the wrong call - before he pushed his lips back into hers with fervent want. They reacted to each other like it was something that had been simmering for way longer than just two and half weeks. Their mouths clambered almost clumsily around each other. Bryce’s hands moved up her back and to her neck with a caress, before he steered her round and pushed her up against the shelves. A few bits of equipment fell down, but they didn’t care. Suki pulled him as close to her as she could, hands gripping his waist. She could feel his muscles move under her fingers as they kissed, which sent a jolt through her stomach. She was actually kissing him. For some reason, the idea felt unattainable and the fact that it was happening felt fantastical.

His lips were soft but applied pressure, his tongue demanding and dominating. Suki let out an unintentional moan, causing a gruff noise from Bryce’s throat, and she could feel him smiling against her lips. Caught up in the passion of the moment, and wanting to savour every part of this, Suki lifted up a leg and wrapped it around Bryce’s hip. He responded by pressing his body tighter against hers and removing a hand from her neck to support her leg, copping a feel of her backside on the way there.

Suki didn’t even care that the shelves were digging into her back. All she cared about in that moment was getting as much as she could out of Bryce. Because, god, was he hot. His kisses were practised and skilled, clearly something he’d done a lot. She pulled him closer towards her, and he removed his lips from hers to burrow his face into her neck and suck at that sweet spot. She gasped at the sensation, earning a cocky chuckle from Bryce. If he gave her a hickey, she was dead.

To avoid that possibility, she pulled his face from her neck to meet her lips again, deepening the kiss, and finally threading her fingers through his floppy hair in the way she’d wanted to before.

A loud creak and unexpected light falling on her shut eyelids indicated that the door had been opened. Suki opened her eyes wide and looked over to the door to see an older Doctor. Oh god. She knew this guy. Dr Zaid Mirani – her attending. The leg which had been round Bryce’s hip dropped immediately.

“Can you give us a minute?” Bryce asked, frustrated, eyes shut and forehead against Suki’s, not giving a single shit that they’d just been caught in the act, not even bothering to see who it was.

“I need some scissors. Don’t let me stop you,” Zaid snapped.

At this, Bryce sighed and stepped away from Suki. Suki tried turning away coyly so that Zaid didn’t see her face, moving away from the shelves to give him access. There was a deafening awkward silence as Zaid rummaged through the shelves to find what he needed, Suki looking anywhere but at either of the men in the room. Bryce’s eyes watched her, flattening her hair down on her head and smoothing down her clothes.

After what felt like far too long, Zaid left without a word. The door shut behind him and Bryce and Suki were sent back into dim light. She looked over to Bryce finally, who was leaning against a cupboard with his hands in his pockets, a humorous smile playing on his lips. Even in the dark he looked good, hair ruffled from her fingers and lips swollen from relentless kissing. Ah, shit. He looked so good. Unlike Suki, he hadn’t taken the time to refine his appearance. But, she kind of liked it that way.

“That kinda killed the mood,” he said, pushing off the cupboard.

“…yeah. We should get back to work, anyway,” replied Suki. She was hot from embarrassment, again. This boy sure knew how to get her flustered, both unintentionally and intentionally. That kiss sure had some intention behind it. It had been a nice distraction, and admittedly she felt much better, but it was time to get back to reality.

He chuckled and scratched his thumb over his chin. He didn’t seem embarrassed at all. Then again, asking a resident to leave so they could continue their steamy make-out didn’t strike Suki as something someone who was easily embarrassed would do. Unluckily for her, Suki was a stickler for humiliation. Maybe hooking up with Dr Bryce No-Fear wasn’t something a blubbering blushing mess should repeat.

Bryce walked toward Suki, and she almost jumped back, worried he might try again. For a couple of reasons: worried they’d be caught again, and Suki would never live it down with herself, but also worried she wouldn’t be able to stop at a sensible place. He was too sexy, and too experienced. But he reached behind Suki to grab a suture kit. The whole reason he’d even been here in the first place. He held it up to show her, before making his way to the door.

“You’ll kill it out there, Dr. Moore,” he reassured before opening the door, letting the light flood the room again, and shutting it behind him once again leaving Suki in the dimness.

She crept out of the supply closet, not looking where she was going and accidentally ramming straight into Jackie.

“You look a mess!” Jackie laughed, noting Suki’s scruffed up hair and creased scrubs.

Suki cursed herself internally as she once again started to sweat.

“Oh! Long day, is all. I’m only halfway through, too!”

Jackie side-eyed her blustery response. “I’ve got to get this shot to this patient. You’re lucky this time, Moore.”

—-

A couple of hours later, Suki was finally grabbing a bite to eat when she received a page from Aurora.

Suki rushed into the room, where Aurora was already debriefing the resident. Shit. It was Zaid. She prayed that he hadn’t caught her face before, that it had been too dark and she’d turned away quick enough that he hadn’t recognised her.

“Hey, Aurora. What’s the situation?” She breathed out, exhausted from speeding up there. Aurora looked grateful as she turned to Suki.

“Moore,” Zaid greeted tightly. Something told her that he had definitely seen her face earlier. He didn’t seem like the type to bring it up, though.

“Ms. Redford was admitted for a broken neck, but her blood work looks incredibly strange…”

—-

“So, Dr Mirani’s a pretty grumpy guy, but why do I feel like there was a reason he was short with you earlier?” Aurora asked as the walked down the corridor to their next patient. Damn her for being smart and perceptive.

Suki weighed up whether or not to tell Aurora. It might be quite nice to have someone on her side, to tell all the awkward stories. She hadn’t done the whole secret make-out since college, and back then, she had a roommate to gossip about it with. At the end of the day Suki still barely knew Aurora; sure, they lived together, but they hardly even had a chance to be at the apartment together with their different shifts and the like. And when they weren’t at work, they were sleeping or eating. Maybe that meant telling her would feel like less of a big deal? Then again, even the idea of saying it was making her cringe. Plus, Aurora was great but she might not be too impressed that Suki had been taking time out of work to make-out with a surgical intern. In a supply closet which anyone could walk in on. And, had walked in on. A senior attending. She decided against it.

“I don’t know. I just don’t think he likes me much,” she wasn’t a very good liar, which Aurora seemed to glean; but she didn’t push further.

—-

After what felt like the most exhausting day ever - having difficult patients, a mental breakdown in a supply closet, a hot make out session in the same supply closet, being caught by her attending, and then having hours more of gruelling work – Suki threw herself onto her bed dramatically. It felt like her whole body, including her internal organs, was on fire. She eventually got up to change into her pyjamas, clean her face, and brush her teeth. There was a knock on her door. She opened it to reveal it was Elijah.

“Hey, what’s up?” He asked, it looked like he’d been home a while. Suki was happy to see him nonetheless.

“Just winding down after work, you know.”

“Yeah, today was a long one,” he added awkwardly.

“Tell me about it.”

He seemed like there was something he knew, or wanted to say, but didn’t.

“Movie?” Elijah asked.

“Sure, I might pass out though.”

She followed Elijah to the sofa and let him load up Netflix. She pulled off the fluffy blanket from the arm and snuggled into the crook of the sofa, next to Elijah’s chair. They put on a classic romcom and settled in to watch it, everyone else either asleep or working. Suki and her other roommates had become close quickly, but she still felt she wanted to bond more with them, get to know them better. She truly loved each one of them, and they each had their own personal qualities which enriched the group.

“So-“ Elijah finally came out with about a quarter of the way in, only to turn and see Suki had passed out.

Elijah tucked her in on the sofa and shut the TV off so she wouldn’t be disturbed. He would have to talk to her again another time. He wheeled away into his own bedroom.

—-

Around an hour later, Suki woke with a stir, taking a moment to recognise her surroundings. She must’ve fallen asleep here, and she noticed how she was tucked into the blanket. Elijah. How was she ever going to bond more with her flat mates If she couldn’t even stay awake to watch a movie with them? She sighed, folding up the blanket to place on the sofa arm again, and made her way into her own bed.

In the dark of the night, Suki’s thoughts wandered to Bryce’s lips on hers, his hands on her neck, his lips on her neck, his body close to hers…

She thought about that smirk and that laugh, the way his hair felt under her fingers, his taut stomach muscles under her hands. The way he tasted clean, faintly minty, the smoothness of his lips on her own. The feeling of her leg wrapped round his hip. If Zaid hadn’t interrupted when he had, Suki wasn’t sure she would’ve been able to stop. Truthfully, it had been a while since she’d slept with anyone, and a while since she’d actually been so sexually attracted to someone.

But she tried not to think about it. He’d helped her out of a tight spot earlier, and she’d thanked him. Now, she would have to put in all her effort to be a better doctor. Not try to sleep with the other interns. No matter how sexy their body and face and demeanour was. She wondered why he’d been so kind to her, taken the time to reassure her and validate her thought. Perhaps just a ploy to get that kiss, or something more, but Suki wasn’t really sure she cared if it had been. Even so, he’d seemed genuine. She supposed he was a doctor after all, helping people was second nature to him.

Come to think of it, the way they’d kissed in the supply closet struck that odd feeling in her again. How did she know him? Did he know her? Was she just superimposing someone else on to him to make him more appealing to her carnal desires and more of a mystery to solve? Maybe it was that if she let herself get hung up in this completely farcical idea, she could ignore what she was really thinking about deep down: her failures as a doctor.

So, maybe she didn’t know Bryce at all. She just liked how he looked and wanted there to be something. They say if you desire something, it pops up everywhere. So, those feelings of déjà vu, maybe they were all in her head. Or maybe she was just spiralling, after the ridiculously lengthy and eventful day. Her eyelids started to drop unintentionally. Maybe she would think about this tomorrow, instead…

#bryce lahela #open heart #open heart fanfiction #bryce lahela fanfiction #bryce x mc #playchoices open heart #open heart fic #oph spoilers #choices open heart #oph #choices: open heart #open heart fanfic #choices fanfiction #choices #choices: stories you play #bryce lahela x mc #dr bryce lahela #bryce Lahela fic

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wearetakingthehobbitstogallifrey · 4 years

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Kdrama recs Part 2

Hello @camsthisky and anyone else who cares! I do apologize for the delay on this post--it has only been 84 years since Part I of my kdrama recs, I know, and I thought about going for a full century but this is me finding a way to de-stress after watching the first episode of I-Land alkdjfadlksj I’m gonna die of heartbreak but whatever

Speaking of heartbreak, there is a lot to be found in Korea’s wonderful historical dramas, so like, be warned—or, if you are an angst-loving monster like me, settle down for hot guys and good cries

Let us begin! (or, if you want romantic modern dramas see Part 1)

1. Scarlet Heart Ryeo/Moonlovers:

aha ahahahahahaha *weeps* You may have heard people talk about this show. You may have heard ME talk about this show. This thing was my first kdrama ever and it RUINED ME

Disclaimer: I have seen this show once and rewatched it twice and on the rewatches I can never quite make myself watch the last 4 or 5 episodes because things get tragic and messy and I get mad. HOWEVER there is a lot of good in the first part of the show and because this thing was all the rage in everywhere but Korea itself, there’s like over 300 fanfic for it and several good fix-its, including one by my good friend @thelonelybrilliance

Ok so anyway this show which could also be called An Abundance of Princes starts with a young woman from modern times getting thrown back into ancient Goryeo during an eclipse and finds herself in the body of Hae Soo, the cousin of the wife of one of the princes, and thus she gets embroiled in royal affairs which are, quite frankly, a mess. See, the evil eyeliner prince (whom I love even when he’s the worst) is plotting with his mom to get the Crown Prince out of the way aka dead BUT who should return to the Palace but the 4th Prince, Wang So, who has spent at least half his life living as hostage to a powerful family.

So has a scar that cuts across his eye and which in this society makes him a horror to look at or smthing idk he just looks extra hot to me but anyway he wears a mask and is known as the wolf dog (or as the MURDER ANGST CUPCAKE thanks @abadpoetwithdreams). He might seem a little rough around the edges at first because his life has been hell but he really just wants to love and be loved okay people need to be nice to him wtf

Other princes include:

1. the Crown Prince, Wang Mu, a good egg, not particularly charismatic but he tried to protect his lil bro when no one else would

2. the 8th prince, Wang Wook, who reminds me of a fellow named Shane and I don’t mean the cowboy

3. the 10th prince, Wang Eun, a dumb adorable spoiled bby (played by Baekhyun from EXO)

4. the 13th prince, Baek Ah, a tol soft boi, an artist, a BAE, a BRO, a SHIPPER ON DECK

5. the 14th prince, Wang Jung this son will fight everyone he’ll fight himself he just loves to fight! Not always wise but he’s a good boy and I like him a lot

6. just realized I skipped the 9th prince but nobody cares

One quick note is that IU plays Hae Soo, and I enjoy her a lot in the first half of the show where she is still spunky and rebellious...sadly her character kind of falls apart/gets too weak for my liking as the episodes progress

The MAIN reason why I feel it my duty to recommend this show to everyone despite the fact I have never met anyone who wasn’t traumatized by it is LEE JOON GI

Yes, this man:

I mentioned him in the previous rec post—he played Bong Sang Pil in Lawless Lawyer (AND IS NOW CURRENTLY STARRING IN FLOWER OF EVIL WHICH WILL BE ON ANOTHER POST AHDFOIASDHGALDSKJF FRIQ I AM IN LOVE WITH THAT MAN)

BUT SERIOUSLY LOOK AT HIS PHOENIX EYES!!! HIS RAZOR SHARP FEATURES! HIS BIG ADORABLE EARS! HIS BEAUTIFUL EXCESSIVE BANGS! 4TH PRINCE WANG SO LOVE OF MY LIFE

SOMEONE PROTECT THIS BBY

2. Hwarang: Ok so right off the bat I am going to smack down a disclaimer that I can’t stand the female lead. TRULY CANNOT. Thus, I don’t like the romance, and only care about the love triangle as far as it just shows how sad and lonely one of the guys is. (Also there are scenes of dumb old men plotting and I don’t like them either). At the end of the show, I am happy that the one guy is NOT stuck with the female lead as his wife. Good for you sir

Sounds like a show to steer clear of then, right? WRONG. This is a show that you skip through because the scenes that are good? Are GREAT

Picture this: It is the Silla era of Korea, and the queen is ruling as regent in place of her son, who has been hiding all his life because everyone wants to kill him. Well, son is now grown and must soon come into the light and take the throne. Queen who both wants her son as king but also really likes being queen decides to do everyone a favor and form an elite fighting squad out of all the prettiest and most talented sons of nobles in the land, with the idea that they will be loyal only to the throne, and thereby keep their dads from plotting to destroy everything.

Let me tell you something, these ARE the prettiest boys in the land. Good hair, good jawlines, beautiful smiles—the cast lineup includes Park Hyung Sik and his cute lil elf ear, Park Seo Joon, Taehyung (yes from BTS!), and Choi Minho from Shinee, plus two other actors who are lesser known but who are drop-dead gorgeous. Anyway. Sorry, but they really are all beautiful.

The fun thing is they don’t all get along right away, a few of them are VERY much opposed to the other for various reasons, but they all have to bond and become brothers in arms. And what they don’t know is that the real king snuck in and is one of them. 10/10 I would die for the boys! (also Tae has an older half-brother who is a lower rank than him but whom he looks up to and that makes for cuteness and pain) Once you skip the boring or annoying parts of the show, the rest has so much delight, laughter, and oops pain, lots of pain. I want to go re-watch.

Two other things I should mention about the show: a super soft side romance between secondary characters and a game of, as they call it in the show, HOT SOCCER

^pretty boy 1 (with the cute elf ear sadly on the other side of his head)

^pretty boy 2 (sad cheekbone bby) and pretty boy 3 (happy cheekbone bby)

^pretty boy 4 (the prettiest of them all, and he knows it!)

^pretty boy 5 (aka Taehyung danced around the set of a historical drama and made everyone adopt him as their bby)

3. Faith/The Great Doctor: This is a longer kdrama at 24 episodes and they didn’t have much of a budget so special effects aren’t the best or anything but I just got really attached to all the characters? This is another modern girl goes back in time but UNLIKE SHR it actually has a happy ending, so if you need a historical drama cleanse after that tearjerker/enrager, this could be it for you

Eun Soo has to navigate the ancient kingdom, keep people believing she is a heavenly doctor with special powers, and keep Choi Young alive so he can fulfill his promise of returning her to her own time. The problem with that is Choi Young does have kind of a death wish because of reasons—

Eun Soo is a plastic surgeon who would really like a rich handsome husband one day but them’s the breaks for you, aka she has had no luck in that department. Back in ancient Korea, Choi Young (played by Lee Minho in sadly the only role I really love him in) is a high-ranking beloved captain who can fall asleep anywhere. Oh he can also make electricity with his hands! :D

The story begins when the sleepy sad captain tries to escort the new king and queen to their palace. This was during the time period when ancient Korea was basically a puppet kingdom/tributary of ancient China (Yuan). The king (who is very smol and lacks confidence, but still has a good heart for his country) lived as a hostage in Yuan for many years, and his wise tol queen is a princess of that land, and someone needs to sit them down and make them talk because they actually love each other a lot. Anyway, when the queen gets injured by assassins, Choi Young goes searching for a legendary doctor, winds up in modern Korea, and steals both Eun Soo and a SWAT shield, because hey, it looked cool I guess

Lots of fun things in the show: Choi Young has a crew of soldiers who are BEYOND loyal to him, and while he doesn’t think much of the king at first because he’s been burned by kings before, they slowly become bros and shippers on deck for each other. Eun Soo does not lose her spunk or loyalty unlike other people I could mention *cough*HaeSoofromScarletHeartRyeo*, and it cracks me up when she curses people out. There are also a bunch of people (mostly bad guys) running around with special powers or gifts, including a flame lady and a flute boy, and the latter wears delightful anime wigs, keeps his sword in his flute, and plays his flute to kill—literally! I love flute boy very much

sorry it’s black and white but DO YOU SEE THE SWAT SHIELD

4. My Country: A New Age:

ANGST ANGST ANGST PAAAAAIN BUT ALSO BEST INTRO BEST FAVES BEST ACTORS

Picture this: two young men, who both hail from childhoods of trauma, who grew up together and are best friends, and who are tragically forced apart and end up on opposite sides of a conflict that threatens to upend the current rule of the kingdom. This IS the star-crossed brotp you’ve been waiting for!

Seo Hwi is the son of a general who died a criminal, and all he wants is to live simply and earn enough rice take care of his younger sister, who has seizures and a sweet crush on Hwi’s bestie. Hwi is the best softest most loyal boy with a good and true heart, a great deal of courage, and a talent for wielding a sword, and just wait till you see the best one-shot fight scene ever of him in battle, it is INCREDIBLE! (He is played by Yang Se Jong, who I now want to see more of) Hwi has an abundance of charisma points in that he picks up a small band of loyal soldier friends and they become the best little found family, lots of brotp-ness in this crew—do not mess with any of them because they will all FIGHT you

Seon Ho meanwhile is the illegitimate despised son of a powerful nobleman, only tolerated because the legitimate son died. Seon Ho loves his friend and is very protective of his friend’s little sister who crushes on him but his dad is a high class grade A power-hungry jerk and that causes complications of course. Seon Ho also has a good heart, he’s a gentle soul really, but he always gets stuck in bad positions and unfortunately makes a couple of difficult/bad choices so he hardens himself as much as he can but the consequences always kill him and he just wants to save his friends and destroy his dad and the stupid hierarchy that treats bastards as lesser. WHY IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

Seon Ho he is played by Woo Do Hwan who has so much talent I die so many times over in this show just because of the way he portrays Seon Ho like that sad sad boy is one of my favorite characters evER! Is he problematic? At times maybe but I am HERE for him he just needs LOVE AND AFFECTION AND AN ABUNDANCE OF GOOD FRIENDS BUT INSTEAD (SOMETIMES THRU HIS OWN FAULT BUT HE ADMITS THAT) HE JUST SUFFERS AND SO I SUFFERRRR

*grabs a towel and dries up my tears*

Hwi also falls in love with a woman named Hui Jae (or was it Hee Jae i can’t remember) and they are very cute together, she’s pretty cool but the show’s one failing is arguably that they kind of underuse her in the plot as the story goes on? But I still like her and she still has a good role, and she is both brave and kind and not afraid to step in or tell people off, also keep a weather eye open for patching up scenes!

Oh yeah, eVERYONE in this gets hurt/stabbed/shot/bloody, such a shame they have to take their shirts off to clean and bandage the wounds ;)

Last character I must mention is Bang Won, played by Jang Hyuk in his second interpretation of the historical figure. Bang Won is the fifth? son of the guy who becomes emperor/king, and he has his own plans for the country, so when Hwi catches his eye, he recruits him to his cause. What you need to know about him is that he has issues with his dad, is slightly unhinged, and cannot and should not be parted from the fan that he constantly carries around with him. Gotta say, Jang Hyuk is FANTASTIC (heheheheheheh) in the role, able to convey all kinds of emotion in the rise and fall of his voice, in the tilt of his head, the tears of his eyes, the flick of his fan. Give this actor all the awards!

To sum up: if you like to cry for days after watching a drama, if you like excellent heart-wrenching brotps, if you like conflicted characters, if you like amazing music and setting and plot, if you like guys with good hair and arm muscles (and

abs, thank you shirtless scenes what) this show is a Must Watch

DID I SAY STAR-CROSSED BROTP I MEANT SWORD-CROSSED BROTP ADKJFADLSKJFLKJDFALKDGKLJL </3

Ok I was going to leave the historical drama post at this for now but...I’m going to cheat a little and include the one historical C!drama I just finished.Yes folks I am talking about:

5. Nirvana in Fire:

Ok so maybe the switch from kdrama to cdrama makes you uncertain. Maybe the fact that this show has FIFTY-FOUR EPISODES makes you go hell no I don’t have enough time for that. Well if you overlook this show for those reasons, you are making, and I do not exaggerate, the greatest mistake of your show-watching life!

Look, first, this drama has one of the best, most intricate, most satisfying plots in history, with like 20 characters you would die for, and second, the episodes are only about 42 minutes each, which is shorter than most kdrama episodes, so you can deal.

Once upon a time there was a general/family who were just too good to exist in corrupt old China, so naturally they were framed for treason and there was a giant massacre and everybody died, including the eldest prince who was like um dad maybe this is all a horrible mistake and the king was like no u are the mistake. Sad times.

One of the many younger princes named Jing (A NOBLE HEART, if not always the cleverest) returns home from wherever he was, finds out that not only did his prince brother die, but so did his best friend/brother in the whole wide world, Lin Shu, son of the general. Because he insists on the innocence of said bros/family, Jing becomes an outcast prince and is shuffled off to fight in wars where he can’t cause any trouble. Meanwhile, Princess Nihuang, Lin Shu’s brave, awesome, amazing, wise, incredible girlfriend, refuses to marry anyone else, and because she is too cool to be messed with, nobody tries to banish her

Cut to I think eleven years later, when the two most powerful princes are vying to be the crown prince and heir to the throne. They both try to recruit the aid of a renowned clever and sassy strategist named Mei Changsu, to help them with plotting and PR and such.

Well little do they know that Mei Changsu is actually the not-dead Lin Shu, with a completely new face (for reasons), and that Mei Changsu is a chess master setting up a long con for the dual purpose of obtaining revenge/justice for the dead and of raising Prince Jing to the throne, since Prince Jing is the only man with a good enough heart and strong enough will to make China a better place for all the people. But just to make it hard on everybody, Mei Changsu is dead set on not telling anyone who he really is—again, for reasons. He is not always successful in keeping his secret.

I literally don’t know what else to say because there is so MUCH to say, so many characters to love, and I mean LOVE. How do you get a cast this good? How is everyone so different yet so important? How do you feel bad for the emperor even when he’s slimy? How do you have to stop yourself from rooting for the prince who would destroy some of your faves? I can’t praise the charisma and acting talent in this show enough! And the music! IS GORGEOUS!

1 strategist too sassy for his own good and too clever for everyone else’s good + 1 prince who loves his mom and his dead best friend and his dead older brother more than anything else in the world + 1 gentle wise mom + 1 eternally loyal princess who would defend her loved ones with the sword if necessary + 1 sassy Elrond healer man + 1 grumpy sulky baby who loves being a better fighter than almost everyone + 1 loyal to the death, brave badass general who is going to have a stress breakdown if the strategist doesn’t take better care of himself + not 1 but 2 good boys who deserve to be protected but who are willing to throw themselves into battle if necessary + 1 antagonist tiger prince who I love and am not ashamed to say it = THE BEST OF TIMES

^he hardly ever wears his hair down but when he does <33333333

*checks calendar* how soon is too soon rewatch something, asking for a friend

#kdrama recommendations #scarlet heart ryeo #hwarang #faith: the great doctor #my country: the new age #nirvana in fire #my kdrama recs #historical kdramas #plus one cdrama #i went overboard on gifs sorry not sorry

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possibilistfanfiction · 6 years

Text

another person touched my sleep (i knew who she was; i called her name)

[just more of clarke & lexa in perfect places au bein soft n in love // ao3]

you wake up from a nightmare, some terrible thing about being taken from your mother. it’s not really a nightmare because it had happened: your father left when you were small, the littlest hurt, because you don’t remember him; you were six when they took you away from your mother who hadn’t been home in three days and came through the door of your studio apartment high or drunk more often than not, but she made you the best tallarines, she sang you songs before you curled up next to her in bed.

you were starving, though, and you hadn’t been to school in three days. the water was off; the heat was off; you were filthy and freezing and when they took you away from her you were distraught, angry, the dragon in your chest flaring when you went into a different home without enough heat, without enough food.

you wake up from a nightmare, a remembering, and you suck in a breath. clarke stirs next to you and when you try to get up she grumbles, snakes an arm out and mumbles something entirely incoherent. her hair covers her face and it is almost silver in the moonlight, and you are terrified and warm and in love.

you sigh and lie back down, curl up so that you can rest your fingers on the inside of her wrist; you count her pulse to help you breathe, to help you calm down, until you fall asleep.

brunch before her graduation is possibly the most nerve-wracking thing you’ve ever been forced to do; clarke’s parents are warm and funny and smart, just like your girlfriend, but they are also wealthy and ridiculously accomplished and apparently clarke is the fourth generation to become a surgeon, which she failed to mention.

your tie had been new, a pale blue so that you matched clarke’s graduation gown in photos—she’d insisted—your shirt was ironed, your pants tailored just right, a present from anya last ramadan. you forego a bloody mary for some coffee, but clarke orders you one anyway with a wink.

‘why’d you go into teaching?’ jake asks, and you think if abby asked you might be terrified but jake’s eyes are blue, kind, amused—just like clarke’s.

you can’t begin to tell your girlfriend’s parents all the real reasons: you were an angry teenager: you had been abused for years in and out of different foster homes; you were the only kid who was out in your entire high school; you had two pairs of pants and one pair of sneakers and your most treasured possessions were the skateboard anya stole for you and your mother’s copy of the book of imaginary beings; you slept on the streets, whenever it was warm enough, because it was safer than your foster house. you ran track because you liked to feel your lungs burning, you liked to run in safe circles; you started long jump because indra, your coach, had insisted you try because you were talented but lacked discipline. you kept going because you liked what it felt like to fly. gustus, your grade ten honors english teacher, shared your love for borges so he would give you books and books, let you write your essays in spanish, let you eat lunch in his room when you were too tired of being teased or bullied for one reason or another. you ended up being a high school all american, going to college on a full ride scholarship; you were convinced you were going to be another body bag in the morgue before you turned eighteen for a long time—but you got out, and you take a sip of your bloody mary and clarke smiles softly, takes your hand under the table.

‘i had a few teachers that really helped me in high school,’ you say, ‘and it just seemed like what i’d want to get to do as well.’

abby seems pleased and jake nods. he glances at clarke for a moment, gentle, and you wonder how much she’s told him; drunk clarke loves to overshare. you don’t mind, though, not as much as you thought you would have, because jake sits between you and abby at clarke’s graduation and makes jokes about everyone’s name, lets out an ear-splitting whistle when clarke receives her diploma, wipes tears from his eyes when she tosses her cap, feeds abby a piece of cake at the reception, buys you all shots afterward, hugs you goodnight.

you scrape your elbow skateboarding; she cleans it gently, puts neosporin on it, wraps it quietly with gauze; kisses it better.

‘this is too much,’ you say, but clarke only shakes her head.

‘my inheritance is shameful.’

you roll your eyes and look at yourself in the mirror again, adjust your lapels.

‘i don’t even want to know how much this cost,’ you groan.

‘they’ll need to take the pants in a bit in the waist,’ clarke observes, coming up behind you and feeling your ribs. ‘are you eating enough?’

‘i’ve been skating a lot,’ you say, shivers down your spine because she’s kissing up your neck. you let out a shaky breath. ‘warmer weather.’

‘you know,’ clarke says, ‘i bought you this suit for my benefit as well.’

you laugh, turn around, and she smiles. ‘is that so?’

‘you are,’ she says, sucking what you’re sure will be a hickey below your jaw, ‘very, very sexy when you have properly tailored clothes.’

‘only then?’

‘then,’ she says, steps back and quirks her head, her clever, surgeon hands going to your collar, undoing a button with enviable ease, ‘and when you’re wearing nothing at all.’

you meet costia at a jamaican place in soho, and it’s loud and vibrant and she’s happy, all wild curls and bright teeth. she hugs you and shakes clarke’s hand and then clarke shrugs and offers a hug and you breathe a sigh of relief because costia grins.

she and clarke hit it off, apparently, because you spend the majority of the time listening to costia tell clarke a number of embarrassing stories from undergrad while you pick at your jerk salmon and sip what turns out to be a lot of dutty wine because you are suddenly slurring your words and a little unsteady and absolutely mortified about it.

they both laugh and make sure you aren’t swaying too much, and it’s kind of nice, getting to bury your nose in the soft skin of costia’s collarbone again—cocoa butter and lavender, somehow always, just a little, like the sea—at a certain point because you insist you haven’t gotten to really hug her in a long time.

costia goes home with you because she and clarke want another drink but you clearly cannot be out in public—you throw up in a bush on the way back from the train—and they situate you on the couch because you refuse to go to bed.

you drift in and out while costia shows clarke how to make some fancy cocktail with lavender they get from your fire escape garden and at some point clarke props your head in her lap and scratches at your scalp, runs absent patterns along your cheeks while she and costia talk about postmodern deconstructionism and the color wheel, the current westworld plotlines, whether or not jax and brittany have broken up after the latest vanderpump reunion.

they make you eat pizza they order and drink a lot of water and eventually clarke drags you up while costia takes your spot on the couch and you climb into bed with her—your shared bed in the apartment you have together, with your books and her paints and the big windows that you think you pay too much rent for but she loves them and you are absolutely, incredibly in love with her.

you must grumble and fidget while you put a hand under her tshirt because she turns to the side to face you, cup your cheek.

‘why’d you drink so much, love?’

she’s not judgemental, not even really concerned. you shrug. ‘i was nervous.’

clarke kisses your forehead; the moonlight drifts in.

‘you’re not jealous?’ you hate how small your voice sounds.

‘no, lex,’ she says, thumbs your ribs from over your shirt. ‘i’m glad you had someone to love you. i owe her, i think.’

you nod into clarke’s chest.

‘plus, she’s totally beautiful, but i am also totally beautiful.’

you snort and she laughs and rubs your back and the next day you get brunch and kiss costia’s cheek at grand central before she gets on her train.

‘thank you,’ you say.

she smiles, squeezes your hand. ‘always, lex.’

the airbag dust is hot and burns your eyes but clarke’s breath is whistling and you’re not a doctor so you don’t know if she’s injured or panicked or both; she reaches toward you and you’re talking to her, telling her that you’re fine and you love her and that it’s okay, your neck sore and your head aching but generally unharmed. her eyes are unfocused and filled with tears and you twine your fingers together and keep talking to her until the paramedics cut you out of your car.

octavia drives you both home from the hospital later that night, clarke with bruised ribs and hands that won’t stop shaking from a serious panic attack; you with stitches in your hairline and a sprained wrist.

it’s summer, muggy and unbearably hot outside, stifling in your apartment even with the central air, but you get under your duvet with her and she kisses you.

‘i’m okay,’ you say.

she nods and sniffles. ‘you’re okay,’ she says, and traces your stitches with a gentle finger, steadier than before.

‘what are you reading?’ clarke kisses your shoulder.

‘it is love,’ you read, squint up at her and kiss her cheek hello. ‘the name of a woman gives me away. a woman hurts me in all of my body.’

clarke frowns, burrows into the couch further. ‘you okay?’

you set aside your book, tattered and worn, clearly adored. ‘it’s one of my favorites.’

clarke kisses between your brows. ‘i’ve missed you.’

you pull her to your chest, allow your heart to give the little ache it always does when she’s so close, so tender, so real, and push aside the hem of her shirt, tuck your fingers against the warmth of her hip, just to feel her skin. ‘me too,’ you say.

clarke is small, curled up, resting against your lap. you’d convinced her to go outside, and she’s drowsy but she agreed, and you sift through her hair—clean from the shower you’d helped her with earlier—golden. you know you have freckles blooming across your nose, because it’s almost summer and you’d had field day with your kids a few days ago; clarke’s cheeks are tinting red and you should go inside soon, but she’s breathing deeply and her hands aren’t shaking anymore.

it’s bright, washed out, along jake and abby’s small stretch of beach. the huge beach towel is soft beneath you and it’s not too warm; a storm seems to be rolling in, the air smelling like rain, deep bruised clouds turning the sea mercurial, weeping. it’s still warm, though, even though everything is charged with lightning, impending and soon, still breezy and comfortable and clarke sighs and kisses the inside of your thigh and you wonder if this is what it feels like to be in love.

‘i’m sorry,’ clarke says, softly into your skin.

you hum, shake your head and keep running your fingers along her scalp.

you hadn’t known, really, that it could get this bad, her quiet desperation, the way she shrunk in on herself and couldn’t move. it doesn’t scare you, not really, because she had warned you before, that she always has a few days of severe depression after big exams, stretches of intense pressure. she’d finished her boards, yesterday, and you think you’re in the worst of it now. but she’s clean; you’d eaten grilled cheese and fruit for lunch; she’s outside with you now; she’s talking.

‘for a long time,’ she says, ‘we didn’t know what was wrong with me.’

you rub a thumb along her cheekbone, her eyelashes, almost white-blonde without makeup and in the sun.

‘i got diagnosed when i was fifteen, after AP exams.’ she pauses. ‘i fought with my mom about it a lot.’

‘you still fight with your mom a lot.’

she laughs, just once, and you feel especially helpful. ‘that’s just for posterity.’

she tells you that she loves you, all the time, in simple ways—texts and notes she’s stuck inside your books, your lesson plans, the pockets of your coats. you told her once, last week, while you were hungover and getting groceries for the week, and she’d gotten your favorite cereal and when you drifted back to her it felt like coming home.

but it’s hard, for you. you’re always scared, always lonely, except you’re not so much anymore.

the storm cracks around you.

‘your eyes are grey, right now,’ clarke says when she looks up at you. it’s a little dreamy, a little achy, like shadows and dusk and the first strike of lightning over the waves.

‘i love you,’ you say, and it surprises you, the way your voice doesn’t waver. ‘i’m in love with you.’

clarke smiles, bright and like everything you know of her, the way your heart is peaceful in a way you’ve never known before.

she sits up and kisses you and it starts to rain, and she laughs into your mouth, tugs you up and kisses you harder.

you run inside and dry off together, rinse off the sand and she quiets, takes your hand and tugs you down to the couch and puts a blanket over the both of you. the storm rolls outside but you are very warm, sleepy with the wine you open, the tv playing some movie you don’t care about in the background.

‘i’ll be okay,’ clarke says, whispers, a promise and a benediction.

you kiss her shoulder and when you wake up an hour later, the storm has passed; the sun is setting, more colors than you would’ve believed, over the waves.

when you were eight and a half, one day after school, when you had come home spent and dirty and relatively happy, because it was finally getting warm outside and you’d had extra recess, your new foster mother cut your hair to just below your chin, tired of its endless tangles. you hadn’t cried but you had been upset; you remember thinking there was a dragon in your chest, this unspeakable anger, which was, of course, easier than sadness. you had gone outside to sit on the curb, not with any real purpose, just so that the dragon might calm down; so that you could unclench your fists and your jaw, so you could stop feeling the tickle of tiny hairs on your skin or the way your curls fell over your eyes now. you sat there until anya came outside after it was dark and coaxed you in with the promise of half a stolen snickers bar.

your hair is long now and always, still, tangled after a shower. when you’re not in a hurry, clarke will patiently work a comb through it, so gentle, chattering on about this and that. eventually, she proclaims you done, your hair tangle free, and you turn and kiss her chin, her cheeks, her nose, while she laughs. you don’t know how to tell her that this is a balm to your fire heart, this is what it means to slay dragons, this is love to you, and it is bigger than you know how to say, than you probably ever will. you kiss her on the mouth, fully and with too much abandon for a quiet saturday morning but she sucks in a breath and then kisses you back

#possibilist #possibilistfanfiction #clexa fanfic #BABIES #perfect places au #guys i am Doing My Best lmao

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i-may-have-a-point · 7 years

Text

Review of 14x01 “Break Down the House” and 14x02 “Get Off on the Pain “

“The painful irony for doctors is that we often have to make you sicker in order to heal you.”

There are a few things we can count on with Grey’s Anatomy. One, the voiceovers are meaningful. The words that begin and end each episode are intentional. Two, most seasons (13 was a glaring exception) are written with the end in mind. Where our characters start is rarely where they finish. However, where they start is still important. Three, when the show promises a lighter, happier season, we will always get the exact opposite. With that said, once I heard the opening voiceover, I knew we should expect pain and lots of it. And in true Grey’s fashion, they delivered.

Let’s start somewhere easy.

Ben/Bailey- Benley spent most of the two hours snacking on the stairs of the main lobby, overanalyzing the construction workers, and discussing shoes. When I heard Ben would be going to the spin-off I wondered what their story would be this season. Season 12 brought us rebellious Ben who sliced people open with clipboards and waited for his wife to chastise him. Season 13 brought us doormat Bailey who let Catherine Avery intimidate her into thinking she didn’t know how to run a hospital, which of course, led to the terribleness that was the Eliza storyline. So for season 14, I could do with a little less Benley. I adore both of them, but honestly, I would be okay with them staying on the stairs.

Megan/Nathan/Meredith - Megan’s return is something we have all been waiting for since we heard she was only” presumed dead.” It could possibly be the least shocking return from the dead in the history of television. Predictability aside, I appreciate that while this feels like a different version of Addison showing up in her fur coat, Mer and Megan stayed mature in an awkward situation. They are setting up Mer and Nathan’s relationship much better than last season as well. In season 13, we collectively cringed each time Nathan asked Meredith out because after fifteen rejections, you’ve got to take a hint, man. By the time they ended up on the plane together it felt so forced that it was hard to root for them. Having Nathan show that he is torn between the two is warming me up to Griggs more, though. And that proposal scene has so much secondhand awkwardness that I literally threw my blanket over my head so I didn’t have to watch. My guess is that in the end, Megan will choose her son over Nathan and return to Iraq, and Nathan and Mer will find their way back to each other after an entire season of pining from afar.

Amelia/Owen/Teddy - I thought Teddy was such a nice addition to these two episodes. She was absolutely correct that Mer operating on Megan is a conflict of interest, and I think Teddy and Owen have great chemistry. Just like Megan’s return, Amelia’s brain tumor also feels like a new version of an old story - Izzie’s brain tumor. Are we going to see her freeze her eggs as well? Because all Owen Hunt has wanted for the last 74 years is a baby, and he clearly has no problem finding a new woman if he needs to. Staying faithful is not his strong point. As much as I like Owen and Teddy’s chemistry, I felt that having Owen cheat on his wife who wouldn’t give him a baby yet again, really put a dent in his character. Giving Amelia a tumor should make for some great dramatic scenes with Owen, Amelia, Mer, etc., but it also pushes the “Owen finally gets a baby” story back another season. And really, unless Caterina leaves, which I don’t think she will, Amelia will be fine. Krista said in an interview that she wanted to explain Amelia’s ooc actions (a nice way of saying bad writing) so she decided to give her a tumor. That’s how bad things got in season 13. They can only be explained by a brain tumor. Nice.

Jo/Alex/Deluca - Looks like they quickly kicked Deluca out of the picture, and made it pretty clear this will not be a triangle. Every time Alex or Jo started talking to each other I so badly wanted one of them to say, “Why I haven’t I seen you in eight weeks?” Last season they could barely look at each other without getting teary-eyed and mopey, and this season they act like most of s13 didn’t happen. I guess that is another way Krista is trying to fix the writing. Just act like it didn’t happen. I wish we had that luxury. I am a Jolex fan. I think they belong together, and I want to see them get rid of Paul and live happily ever after. Unfortunately, happily ever after usually lasts about five episodes on this show, so the fact that they are so happy in the premiere makes me nervous for where their story will go from here. Also, I know Jo sleeping with the intern was supposed to be shocking and funny, but it made me cringe. For a woman who has been with multiple abusive men in the past, Jo going home with a man who is essentially a stranger seemed ooc. Also, she snuck out of his room in the morning and then had sex with Alex hours later in the Resident’s Lounge. I hope she showered in between.

Arizona/Carina - Carina is already better than Eliza, but I am not completely sold on this story. This was also incredibly predictable. Once she was announced as joining the show, most of the fans called that she was joining for Arizona. How did we know? Because that seems to be the only story Arizona can have. I am all for her finding someone and finding happiness, but I would like to see Arizona, the doctor, again as well.

April/Jackson/Maggie - Before I say anything else, I have to say that Sarah Drew is incredible. Her heartbreak was so real and so tangible that it made an unbearable scene beautiful.

I see this from two angles. One perspective is the show (Krista? Shonda?) wants to end Japril and has decided to put Jackson with Maggie because (like Arizona) hooking her up with someone seems to be the ultimate goal, while her abilities as a doctor and her character development are ignored. There were some hints that this may happen. I think Jackson and Maggie may have been trying to have some moments, but it is so hard to tell. I have to rewatch their scenes and analyze are they being intentionally awkward or is the awkwardness a result of their lack of chemistry? Is that a confused look or a thinking look? Was that a smile or a grimace? With Japril and Maggie/Nathan and Maggie/Deluca their feelings were always clear. Now whatever they are doing is making their already painful scenes more difficult to watch. If Jackson and Maggie is something they pursue, they will have a hard time getting the audience on board. The majority is adamantly against it, and they will never come out from Japril’s shadow. Japril’s story cannot be matched or recreated, so Jackson/Maggie would eventually become a side couple who just happen to be on a show that people are watching for Griggs or Jolex. As viewers we feel so disrespected that there is no saving that ship in our eyes. From this perspective it was difficult to watch Jackson sit there and not respond. Or to accept the idea that he would think sex to April could ever be casual. It was heartbreaking.

Another perspective I see is that Japril may not be completely dead. I am not at all trying to give out false hope. I saw what you saw. But as painful as it was, I am happy that April said what she was feeling and that Jackson was clearly bothered by knowing he had hurt her. And as much as I wanted him to fight for her, to say something, anything, watching them sit in silence, holding hands made me think about how through everything, the love and respect has remained. They may be the only couple in the history of the show who have stayed faithful to each other no matter what. The writers could have destroyed them completely. We easily could have seen a Jackson/Maggie hook-up that would have broken them in a different way. Instead, we saw April tell Jackson what she needed to say and Jackson listened. Writing the scene that way leaves that trust, respect, and love in tact so that it can be revived. The episode had a couple of other moments made me wonder if they were hints as well. Maggie’s relationship with Deluca was brought up for the first time in forever, and Maggie seemed pretty excited that he called her beautiful. Granted, Maggie would get excited about a man offering her a tissue when she sneezes, but again, Grey’s does not write random lines. Plus, Deluca is officially out of Jolex’s relationship, I believe. So that is something to keep an eye on. Also, Maggie and Webber had a clear father/daughter scene where he talked about hoping she got her talent from him. So, for anyone arguing he isn’t her dad, the show seems to say otherwise. I thought it was interesting they put that scene in if they have any thoughts of Jackson and Maggie happening. Krista says April has a complicated journey this season. I would argue that she has had a complicated journey every season, but for them to openly say it has my wheels turning with ideas. And of course, these things on top of Jesse and Sarah’s open support and love for Japril leaves me with a flicker of hope.

They left hope for a reason. If we are to believe the words that opened and closed the show, then this season will be about breaking things down to build them up better the second time.

We’ve seen how they are going to break things. Now let’s see how they fix it.

“The painful irony for doctors is that we often have to make you sicker in order to heal you. If a bone is healed unevenly, we have to re-break it. If a scar is too thick, we have to scrape it off and create a new wound. We break you down to rebuild you. We go to medical school because we want to learn how to fix what’s broken, but we quickly learn that we often have to make things worse before we can make them better. It’s risky, and it’s frightening for surgeons and for patients, but usually, it’s worth it. You get a second chance at life, and we get to be the architects of your second chance. It’s win-win, when it works.”

#grey's anatomy #14x01 #14x02 #japril #jolex #omelia #griggs

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twelvesignsrp · 7 years

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congratulations tabi, cancer is now samuel wade with the faceclaim neels visser

APPLICATION

Character Sign: Cancer

Character name: Samuel Wade

Birthday: 7/7/1997

Sexuality: bisexual

Gender: male

Moon Sign: Pisces Moon – he’s someone who needs fantasy, compassion, escape, and creative outlets more than anything else in the world. he can go a little stir-crazy at times, which is why it’s important for him to have security as well, but he can be extremely hard to pin down and read when he gets into one of his darker moods. sometimes he feels he is best left on his own, even though he wishes he could connect better, but he knows he needs to figure out how to navigate his own soul before he can really reach out to others around him. he is and will always be drawn to artistic, sensual and spiritual pursuits.

Faceclaim: Neels Visser

Power: future illustration – it’s not so much any sort of clear image that splashes itself across his mind and forces him to recreate it on any surface available, it’s more like some sort of gut feeling, almost unnoticeable sometimes until he’s practically finished with it. the urge to draw or paint something is as familiar and ingrained in him as the need to breath or his body’s need for blood from his heart—it’s something stuck just beneath the layers of his skin, and he doesn’t even think about it until he looks down and realizes he’s drawn something that ends up coming true a little while later. he does it without thinking most of the time, but then there are a few dark midnights, sleepless nights when the kaleidoscope mess tries to seep out through his fingertips, the drive to create something much stronger than his need to sleep. the talent for art has always been there inside of him, the magic just decided to adhere itself to that.

What do they study? Art Appreciation

Biography:

rule 1: schizophrenia is hereditary.

you wouldn’t think that to look at Marie Mason though, as she smiles and walks slowly down the aisle to marry the man who has stolen her heart and all her inhibitions and reservations about love. they’ve thrown themselves into this wedding, adored each other endlessly, despite the family secret she keeps from him, hoping on every star in the sky and any god in heaven that somehow, maybe the curse will pass her by unaffected. maybe their love is stronger than her genetics, maybe his kiss will break the evil spell, the ticking time-bomb on her mind. and after all, doesn’t everyone deserve a happy, fairytale ending? the Beatles sang “all you need is love” and they both agree wholeheartedly, because this feels absolute between the two of them. there is nothing that can get in the way of their union.

rule 2: love is not stronger than madness.

no one bears the brunt of her mental decay as much as her first-born son Samuel, especially in the first seven years of his life. he learns to run quickly, hide perfectly, play games that make no sense and have no rules. he has to think on his feet, tell stories without endings, anything he can do to please her, to help her, to make her love him—or at least remind her that she once did love him. it comes and goes sometimes, and he suffers in school for it, despite how much money his father pours into his education.

what father doesn’t seem to understand is that, yes, she does have many good, long stretches of sanity, weeks when she is fine, she is stable, she is operational, and Samuel enjoys these times because that’s when their family love dynamic actually feels real. but those times never really last long enough, they are just the minute gasps for breaths the universe takes before exploding again. his mother and his little brother, younger by three years, and him can all go to the park and have picnics, and he doesn’t have to think about how Jacob is already a better reader than he is. Jacob is better at a lot of things, but Samuel’s sheer amount of personality ensures his place as older brother. he can also draw better than anyone else in his class, but no one is as much a fan of his work as Jacob is, and Samuel is sure that nothing in the world can break the two of them apart.

that’s why when the doctors finally come and take their mother away while she is screaming and thrashing around, like a demon straight out of hell, Samuel holds onto Jacob’s hand tight enough that neither of them have to notice that their father can’t even look at them. Samuel is terrified that one day he’ll grow up to be as cold and distant as that man, but he’s even more scared about his mother’s genetic lotto win taking root in him.

rule 3: nothing in this world is in your control.

caution: contents are hot. he lets himself ride the waves of adolescence, boiling over with too much freezer-burn chemicals. like a sunflower, he is all brightness on the outer rim, the edges of him oozing glamour and laughter and just enough coyness to keep others interested, but in the center is dark, dark inflorescence, drying and dying out in the sun. he can feel himself changing as puberty takes over, shifting him into the kind of boy who stares at other people too long and lets himself fall into chaos too quickly. he falls in love too hard and lets it drive him to the edge of his mental cliff time and time again, because maybe if he gets used to it out here, it won’t be so bad when he finally tumbles down off it. he lives his life in fear of madness, which gives him a bit of wild freedom, but mostly just makes him want to cave in on himself.

his turmoil breathes life into the only part of him left that’s still beating; drawing and painting. he spends hours on it, creates everything from abstract memories of dreams to landscapes and fruits. it’s an incredibly forgiving art, but nothing about that sentiment lets him sleep a full night through, unburdened by nightmares.

his father comes to him one day after he’s turned eighteen and tells him he expects good grading scores from his high school so that he can enroll in a well-accredited university next fall—a university that has already been picked out for him. Samuel hadn’t intended to go to college, actually, because he wanted to start selling his art as soon as possible, but he doesn’t have the means or support system around him to venture off on his own, the way he wishes he did. he’s too easily persuaded to attend, but he manages to hold his own when it comes to which classes to choose. his father wants him to become a doctor, and follow in his footsteps of becoming a surgeon. for that entire summer, he starts bringing his oldest son to his hospital with him, making him watch the surgeries sometimes, hoping that the drive to cut people open and fix them will somehow seep into Samuel via osmosis. it’s total hell to the eighteen-year-old, and it doesn’t convince him to change his college schedule at all.

rule 4: with great power comes great responsibility.

not very far into his experience at durham, things begin to change. at first, he thinks “this is it, i’m finally losing it,” when he sees the exact same car-wreck scene on the news as what he had drawn earlier that morning. he thinks maybe it’s a coincidence, maybe a fluke, maybe some kind of déjà vu. he sets the picture on fire and smokes a cigarette as he watches it burn, his heart pounding in his chest, the fear like freezing fingers wrapping around his lungs, suffocating him. it’s not long though before it happens again, and again, and again—the things he draws becoming real somehow, and he begins to worry whether he’s drawing the future or creating it through his drawings.

it takes about a month or two, after he really starts taking action based on the paintings and drawings, that he realizes he is shaping only one version of the future, and that by simply knowing about it and doing something with that knowledge, it can be changed; which is a huge relief. so he starts acting on his abilities, working to fix whatever seems wrong, warn whoever he needs to, avoid the pitfalls he can see coming. he very rarely anymore draws the things he wants to, but it’s okay because this is more important anyway, and his skills at detail and coloring are getting better, sharper, clearer.

but with each new picture he puts his whole soul into, he feels it leave him just a little bit more. it’s a well-known fact that talent and survival cannot exist harmoniously inside one body; eventually something has to give. nothing is stronger than madness, he controls nothing in this world.

and schizophrenia is hereditary.

Five interesting facts about your character:

I. he has grown up with a mild form of dyslexia, making him very uncomfortable reading things. he struggled through it all throughout high school, oftentimes bullshitting his way through tests and literature classes. whenever he was called upon to read something from the books, he would always play it off as something silly, like making up the words and story as he went, often getting in minor bits of trouble for it. whenever it was really important that he learn the material, he just looked up youtube videos for it. he still needs to do that sometimes. II. he calls his little brother Jacob every week, just to check up on him. he hates being so far away from his brother, really the only member of his family that he ever connected with. his brother looks up to him a lot, even though Sam has no idea why anyone would. III. he lives off of a steady diet of ramen and code-red mountain dew. he knows he should eat better, but he’s too young to care about health food and he’s been blessed with a fantastic metabolism. plus, he doesn’t know how to cook and he can’t be bothered to learn. IV. he does work out though, whenever he can, and even though his choice of exorcise is boxing mostly, he wishes he could get more into martial arts, like taekwondo or jujitsu. V. secretly loves super nerdy stuff, like anime and comic books, but he tries his best to keep all that under wraps, stuffed into the bottom of one of his pants drawers, because he is scared of what people will think of him if they knew. he wants to be chill, not looked at like he’s crazy.

Character Quote:

“lie with me under

the sweeping sky that

forgets us

there is no other kind of death

destroy me if you must.”

–inkskinned.tumblr.com

If your character had a patronus what would it be? and why? his patronus is a dapple-grey stallion. it means his passion for the things he loves is hard to beat, he becomes very involved in his friends, family, hobbies and studies. he can be very sensitive and emotional, getting hurt easily and often feeling melancholy for very little reason. however, this emotional enlightenment allows him to understand others and empathize extremely well, while also being very creative and intelligent.

WRITING SAMPLE

Samuel stared at the lines on the wooden door in front of him, his eyes wide but unmoving– stagnant just like the rest of his entire body. he was supposed to be moving, supposed to be a man of action by now, like he had told himself countless times to be. he’d spent the better part of the morning looking into a mirror, practicing the lines he was about to say, going over what sounds best, the exact type of words to formulate, anything that didn’t sound creepy or desperate. he wanted to be one of those guys who were able to just go after whatever they want, no hesitation, no overthinking.

but he wasn’t. he wasn’t a man of action, he wasn’t a man of anything– he was just standing here in front of his classmate’s door like an idiot, completely immobile because his nervousness had rooted him to her welcome mat. he was supposed to knock on the door ten minutes ago. he should have already gotten this done and over with by now but instead he couldn’t stop staring at the lines in the door and thinking about how heartbroken he was going to be as soon as she rejected him.

she had no idea how hard he’d been working up the courage to do this. how long he’d spent practicing his tone of voice or his smile. he wanted everything to be perfect and if he messed this up…. he might never have forgiven himself. he had already messed up so many other relationships and lost so many opportunities with her already this semester. he wanted to move forward. he wanted to show her how much he liked her.

he slowly inhaled a breath, lifting his fist up to knock on the door, but he couldn’t make contact. maybe he could do this next week. there would still be a next week, right? there was always next week– next month– next year. except what if she moved away or dropped out of school? what if she got a boyfriend? and then he’d have to see them together in the hallways, think about how she liked to be kissed, think about whether she was being treated well enough. he was not keen on this idea.

but knocking on this door was about as easy as fitting his whole arm into his mouth. how did other people seem to do this so damn easily? he always saw it in movies and things, guys being assertive and girls being spunky but accepting. things always worked out in movies though, whereas real life was often messier, especially in those first few steps of a relationship.

relationship? maybe he shouldn’t have been thinking about that word just yet—it was still pretty early. he hadn’t even managed to ask her out yet. hadn’t even knocked on the goddamn door. he huffed again, the nervous fluttering and pounding in his chest only getting worse.

he lifted his fist up again, an inch or two away, when the door suddenly opened and there she was, a bag of trash in her hand, and there he was, his arm raised like an idiot. “i…! oh..! hi..” his palms immediately started sweating as panic set in and his fight-or-flight instinct started telling him to turn and run. his feet however, were still painfully glued to this spot. “i, uh… i was just about to knock… on your door….” he slowly lowered his hand, feeling like a deer in the headlights. “obviously.”

#accepted

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citizenscreen · 8 years

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Darren McGavin‘s agents called him to say that ABC had purchased the rights to a yet-to-be-published book called The Kolchak Papers. The script by Richard Matheson was in its early stages and McGavin was the intended star of the would-be movie. “ListenABC,” McGavin’s representative said, “it’s this crazy story about a reporter and some kind of monster in Vegas. You don’t want to do this.” (McGavin) Darren McGavin read the script then gave it to his wife to see if she agreed with him. The consensus was, “it’s terrific.”

The NIght Stalker aired on ABC on January 11, 1972. Directed by John Llewellyn Moxey and produced by Dan Curtis, best known at the time for Dark Shadows, The Night Stalker became ABC’s highest rated original TV movie and the most widely viewed TV movie to date. The movie did so well, in fact, that it was released as a theatrical vehicle abroad. One thing we can say about audiences in 1972 is that they had fabulous taste because The Night Stalker is indeed terrific.

If you’re a fan of horror or a fan of film noir The Night Stalker will grab you from the opening scene. “This is a story about the greatest manhunt in history,” we hear Carl Kolchak’s voice say over a tape recorder, “Judge for yourself the story’s believability.” Kolchak is an investigative reporter and the crimes he mentions in the opening are the work of a vampire. We learn this in flashback with definitive film noir style as he retells the incredible story. If you think this can’t happen where you live Kolchak will prove you wrong despite what the authorities might say or how hard the powers that be try to deny the story, which inevitably happens.

As this story goes – there are a series of murders plaguing the Las Vegas strip. All of the victims have had their bodies drained of blood. The suspect’s true identity is discovered by the authorities as one Janos Skorzeny who’s been suspected of blood-draining murders in the past. They even corner Skorzeny when he attempts to rob a hospital of its blood shooting him several times without effect. But there’s no mention of vampirism until Carl Kolchak researches vampire lore and puts the pieces together. Skorzeny has super human strength, he is able to outrun cars and motorcycles, he has the taste for blood thing and so on. Despite these facts, however, Kolchak’s editor, Anthony Vincenzo (Simon Oakland) thinks that the existence of a vampire is ridiculous. Vincenzo is often exasperated by Kolchak who never plays by the rules. The two have great chemistry and forge a dependable friendship in between bouts of shouting, which make for enjoyable exchanges at every turn.

Lo and behold after many arguments and suspension of duties, Kolchak is able to convince the police that the perpetrator is a vampire and along with FBI agent, Bernie Jenks (played by Ralph Meeker) he goes to Skorzeny’s lair to destroy him. Kolchak is able to put a stake through Skorzeny’s heart as he’d read it’s the sure-fire way to kill that particular type of monster. This happens after a fierce battle during which several other vampire rules are proven true. For instance, Skorzeny is repelled by a cross and is afraid of sunlight, just as we thought he’d be. By the way, the music by Bob Cobert in The Night Stalker is great as was the case with so many made-for-TV movies of the 1970s, but particularly noteworthy during the final fight scene is that some of the music from House of Dark Shadows (1970) was used.

Luckily for Kolchak he had a credible witness at hand during his destruction of the vampire and yet – adding insult to injury – he is arrested for murder. There is nothing the authorities will do to quell the story of a vampire loose in Vegas. And when Kolchak’s full story appears in the papers it is a different, falsified account of the happenings, which is why our hero is an embittered man telling a tale of deceit as well as murder. Kolchak tells a cautionary tale where the people’s right to know is way down the list of priorities for those who hold all the power.

Darren McGavin delivers such an unforgettable portrayal of Carl Kolchak that he alone is enough of a reason to watch this movie and its descendents. Kolchak is unrelenting in his pursuit of a breaking story. He gets “in” with the beat cops, bribes any and all players who can give him information and is funny as all heck. His voiceovers as the story progresses are a definite plus if you like that sort of thing – and I do. Not only is it reminiscent of noir, it’s a terrific storytelling technique that helps move the pace along and tells us a lot about the character.

Fans of horror might find a bit of camp where the monster element is concerned in The Night Stalker, but if you’re a fan of classics the camp just adds to the enjoyment. Kolchak even mentions Lugosi at one point putting to rest any doubt you may have about who was/is the definitive vampire in popular culture. Barry Atwater plays Skorzeny with flair adding the requisite growls and hisses to the proceedings following is some famous footsteps.

Also in the cast is Carol Lynley who plays Kolchak’s girlfriend, Gail Foster. Charles McGraw plays to type as the Police Chief, Larry Linville of M*A*S*H fame plays a doctor and the great Elisha Cook, Jr. shows up in a small role. Another special treat for classic fans is the appearance of Ralph Meeker. Interestingly – to further the film noir ties in The Night Stalker, which really is more noir than it is horror – both McGavin and Meeker have played Mickey Spillane’s fictional detective Mike Hammer. Meeker played Hammer in Robert Aldrich’s Kiss Me Deadly (1955), and McGavin in Mike Hammer the TV series (1958-19959).

Given the success of The Night Stalker it’s no surprise that Carl Kolchak would be back for another dangerous investigation. Our tenacious, imperfect hero turns in another memorable round with a supernatural villain in The Night Strangler, which originally aired on ABC on January 16, 1973. Dan Curtis takes the helm for this vehicle and delivers another quick-paced, humor-laced movie with a terrific lot of players including Wally Cox, Jo Ann Pflug, Scott Brady, John Carradine, Al Lewis of The Munsters fame with the ultimate treat being Margaret Hamilton who plays a professor who’s an expert on elixirs. Back for another turn from the first movie are film noir elements and Simon Oakland as Tony Vincenzo.

Although he vowed never to mention the vampire story to anyone ever again after the last outing we see Kolchak trying to convince people of the story when The Night Strangler opens. Having been fired from the Vegas paper after the vampire fiasco, our investigative journalist finds himself in Seattle, Washington. Luckily, Vincenzo is in Seattle as well and hires Kolchak to cover a series of murders. This time the victims are exotic dancers who have been strangled with such incredible force that their necks are crushed. Also, each victim has had some of her blood removed with a syringe and each has traces of rotted flesh on her neck.

With the help of a historian/researcher (Wally Cox), Kolchak discovers that similar rash of killings have occurred every 21 years since 1889 with the series lasting 18 days each time. Recognizing that time is of the essence Kolchak presses the authorities to act, but as was the case in The Night Stalker, no one but Kolchak is eager to make the details of the murders public and they drag their feet. That’s especially true when Kolchak tells the police that the murderer is 144-year-old Civil War surgeon, Dr. Richard Malcolm (played by TV favorite Richard Anderson) who is killing to get his hands on the blood needed for his elixir of life, a youth potion that lasts 21 years at a time. I know it sounds kind of crazy, but it’s true!

Needless to say Carl Kolchak gets his man and the scoop. But once again he is fired along with Vincenzo because no one wants Seattle to know the murders were being committed by a corpse so the real story is once again suppressed. Those frustrations are expected, but we get another enjoyable final battle in this entry. This time Kolchak fights the should-be-long-dead Dr. Malcolm in a lost, Civil War-era city that lies hidden underneath Seattle. Malcolm lives, hides and performs his experiments in the hidden city, which is reminiscent of The Phantom of the Opera story and is just as sinister.

The Night Strangler proved almost as popular as its predecessor garnering strong ratings and eventually prompting ABC to order a TV series in lieu of a third movie, which was in the works. The third movie was to be set in New York as we see Kolchak and Vincenzo discussing at the end of The Night Strangler after they’re both fired in Seattle. Instead, the TV series, Kolchak: The Night Stalker, features both McGavin and Oakland reprising their roles working for the Chicago Independent News Service. The premise for the series stayed close to the movies in that Kolchak seemed to have a talent for attracting crimes involving the supernatural to include werewolves, zombies and many other creatures of the night.

In the series Kolchak always has a hard time convincing Vincenzo that the criminals are not products of his imagination, but rather living (more or less), breathing creatures. Those exchanges between the two where Vincenzo loses his temper and Kolchak does what he wants anyway are favorite scenes of mine. Also enjoyable are the villains in the episode, which naturally come from classic stories. The first episode of the series features Jack the Ripper who is alive and well and back to his old tricks.

Although Kolchak: The Night Stalker aired for only one season, from 1974 to 1975 on ABC, it is highly recommended viewing. Many of the enjoyable elements of the movies make the transition to TV and far outshine what you may find on network TV today with few exceptions. Another short-lived series, Night Stalker was given a shot in 2005 with Stuart Townsend taking over the Kolchak role.

♦

I intended this post to be my submission to the Movie of the Week Blogathon hosted by Classic Film and TV Cafe, but alas I am quite late to the party. I didn’t want to ignore Kolchak completely, however, so I offer this as encouragement to the event, its host and Carl Kolchak all of which should not be ignored!

Movie of the Week: THE NIGHT STALKER and THE NIGHT STRANGLER Darren McGavin's agents called him to say that ABC had purchased the rights to a yet-to-be-published book called

#ABC Movie of the Week #Barry Atwater #Carol Lynley #Dan Curtis #Darren McGavin #Jo Ann Pflug #John Llewwellyn Moxey #Kolchak #Movie of the Week #Ralph Meeker #Richard Anderson #Simon Oakland #The Night Stalker #The Night Strangler #Wally Cox

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howellrichard · 6 years

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Why I Created the Healing Cancer World Summit (a new personal story)

Hiya Gorgeous!

There’s something personal and difficult that I’ve wanted to share with you, my beloved community, for a while now, but I just wasn’t ready. I didn’t have the words because I was still processing my feelings. Plus, I was in game plan mode and maybe even experiencing a little PTSD. In the fall of 2016, my phenomenal dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

Typing those words still takes the air out of my lungs.

I had just finished speaking at the very last Hay House ICDI event in Ft. Lauderdale when my family’s life changed forever–yet again. Because my plane was delayed, I decided to stay with my parents in Connecticut rather than make the longer journey back to Woodstock. On the drive to their house, I found myself daydreaming about all the things I would focus on thanks to my newfound spaciousness. Maybe you can relate to my “once this is done I’ll relax and take care of myself” mentality.

What’s the famous John Lennon quote? Life is what happens when you’re making other plans? Ain’t that the truth.

The first clue something was wrong: I pulled into my parents driveway around midnight and all the lights were on. The only time that used to happen was when I was late for curfew and about to be grounded. My mom greeted me at the door, fully dressed (not in PJs), we said our hellos, hugged and briefly caught up. But all the while I was suspicious–waiting for the shoe to drop. And then it did.

“Listen, there’s something I need to tell you,” my mom started, “I don’t know how to say this so I’ll just say it, Dad has a mass on his pancreas and he needs to get a biopsy on Monday.” His pancreas? Shit. Shit. Shit.

I kept my cool but inside I was falling to pieces.

My dad is one of the most treasured people in my life. He has always been there for me, especially when he adopted me. Without my dad, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. He truly is an earth angel and when I needed him most (when I was diagnosed), he was the first person at my side. He almost created a traffic accident rushing to the hospital where I was sitting by myself, waiting for the results that would change my life forever.

“Can I come to his biopsy with you? And can I stay for as long as it takes to help you figure this out?” I asked.

“Oh, yes, please” my mom responded. We both cried and then we did what the women in my family do, we put on our game faces and started creating a healing (save-our-ass) strategy.

I didn’t sleep at all that night and I sadly don’t fully remember what I said to my dad the next morning. What I do remember vividly was his biopsy. He was still a little groggy when he came out of the procedure wearing nice “slacks,” dress shoes and a crisp button-down shirt, because in his words, “you have to look spiffy for these things.” Rest assured, I was not wearing my Sunday best when I had my own biopsy. It was a miracle I even brushed my teeth!

As I walked him to the car, holding his arm to steady his balance, he told me that he was sorry that my rock (him) was a little wobbly. This gutted me, but I didn’t let him see it. Later I stuffed myself into a closet where I could scream and cry into a pillow and he wouldn’t hear me.

But in that moment I just told him how honored I was to get to be his rock for a while.

And that’s exactly what I tried to do, as best as I could. For the first time in my journey as a patient, I experienced what it’s like to be a caregiver. Boy, do I have a whole new respect and understanding for all of you who have walked this path–especially my mom. My mother’s strength, grit, grace, love and unwavering determination are immeasurable. Let’s just say that when life kicks you in the teeth, she’s the kind of person you want by your side.

I also have more compassion for fellow-patients. Because I’ve never had treatment, I could previously only imagine what it was like for people. Well, this time I got to witness it firsthand. I had to learn how to take all of my knowledge and expectations and adapt them to my dad’s day-to-day reality, because sometimes he was too sick to rally around my self-care agenda. And that was OK.

If you’ve been following me for a while, you know that I don’t use the “gift” lingo when it comes to cancer. Yes, there are many life enriching blessings that come from the journey, but a gift is something different (at least to me). However, the fact that my family and I had learned so much as a result of my own diagnosis was indeed a great blessing. In fact, I’ve sometimes thought that the reason I got sick was so we’d have half a clue about what to do when my dad needed us most.

Now granted, I have this rare, stable, stage IV disease that I’ve managed to live with for 15 years now. I’ve never had treatment and so far I haven’t needed to, which is amazing because there still really aren’t any options for me.

My dad’s situation was the opposite. His disease was aggressive and if he didn’t have chemo, radiation and surgery, his chances of survival were slim. In fact, after his Whipple procedure (one hell of a frickin’ complicated surgery!) his talented and compassionate surgeon told us that if it hadn’t gone well, my dad may have only had about 2 months to live.

Typing those words also takes the air out of my lungs.

Thankfully his treatment was a success and today my dad is in remission, which is why I’m ready to share this story (with his permission). It’s also why I’m writing this blog today.

Over the years I’ve promoted several online summits that I think could add immense value to your life. But many people have encouraged me to create my own specifically about cancer and prevention.

Though I liked the idea, I was often busy with other projects, and to be honest, I didn’t really want to dedicate a year of my life (the time it takes to create an online event like this) talking about cancer. Maybe because I spent so much of my early days sharing my story or maybe because I’m still a patient, and sometimes need a break from it all.

But when my dad got sick and we flew into action, finding the best doctors and surgeons, helping with dietary and lifestyle changes, and ultimately creating a healing plan that continues to this day, I was reminded of just how much my family and I know—and how many world-renowned experts I have on speed-dial.

That’s when Reid Tracy, the wonderful CEO of Hay House, circled back and said that if I was ready to host my own cancer summit, they would partner with me to help my team and I share it with the world. Reid had been checking in on me often, like the good friend and solid citizen he is. He knew what I was going through personally, but he also knew how healing this would could be for countless people–including me and my dad. I knew he was right.

I also felt totally inspired by my dad’s strength. I watched this man, who is so dear to me, go through the valley of the shadow of death. And yet he did it with such grace, humor and resilience. He even skipped to the hospital at 5:30 a.m. the morning of the surgery! WTF? His motto was “hold fast” and he did just that.

So I said, “HELL YES! Let’s do this, Reid.”

That’s where the Healing Cancer World Summit began.

Today, I’m thrilled to announce that the Summit launches on October 17 and registration is now open!

Whether you’re a cancer patient, survivor, thriver, caregiver or interested in prevention, this Summit is for you. I carefully selected and interviewed 20 of the world’s top integrative oncologists, wellness experts, dietitians, spiritual teachers and remarkable survivors to bring you the most comprehensive and inspiring wellness event you’ve ever experienced.

I just signed up for the Healing Cancer World Summit with @kris_carr and @hayhouse! Learn more about this incredible event…

And here’s something else you should know: This event is not about fear. It’s not about scaring you with statistics or telling you that cancer is your fault. This event is about giving you the hope and support you need to tackle whatever comes your way. I really hope to see you there—and did I mention that it’s completely free?

Click here to learn more and register for the Summit!

The truth is, there isn’t a magic bullet or a one-sided approach to healing. If there was, we would have won the so-called war on cancer by now. It’s also not your fault if you’re facing this situation. We don’t always have the tools and knowledge we need to avoid illness, and sometimes our genes are at play, too.

But each of us has the beautiful opportunity and responsibility to care for ourselves and that’s what I focused on in this Summit. No fear. Only positivity and possibilities–which is exactly what I needed in my own journey. Your turn: Let me know that you’ve signed up for the Healing Cancer World Summit by giving me a big “I’M IN!” in the comments below. I can’t wait for you to join me!

Peace and healing,

The post Why I Created the Healing Cancer World Summit (a new personal story) appeared first on KrisCarr.com.

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