#polterqueue

[dailymudad]

giorno: you know how my worst enemy was named literally the devil and your name is god

dio: are you trying to do a hook-up

giorno: not today satan

dio: i thought your enemy was satan

[dailymudad]

It’s 1 AM on a Sunday night and this boutique, home to every name brand fashion imaginable, has been silently and quietly broken into.

This is a quiet heist. No alarms are ringing. Only a few necessary lights are on. The doors to the changing room keep opening and closing. Dio tries on a suit jacket but frowns knowing there’s a chance he’ll rip through it despite the nice fit. It goes in his pile anyway. Giorno has a new pair of shoes, he likes staying close to a brand that uses ladybugs as their motif. Dio gives a small ‘heh’, but otherwise doesn’t acknowledge it.

“Be honest, boy. Is this a current-looking outfit?”

“Everything in here is current... they don’t make the kind of money they do selling out of fashion clothes.”

Several things are taken. Dio has a deep distaste of wearing jewelry with someone else’s logo on it, but a set of upper arm bangles feel nostalgic and he piles it in. “How did you know how to get in here?”

“Do you think I could afford these brands doing luggage hustling when I was fifteen? I have practice.”

[dailymudad]

imagine giorno being a vegetarian and when there aren’t any options on the menu at whatever restaurant they go to, he grows a nice mini garden out of the cutlery and plates and fixes himself a salad.

dio’s like ‘who raised you to be this extra’. giorno looks at him.

[dailymudad]

Haruno wearing a shirt that says “DIO made this”

on the back it says, in smaller print, “If you talk to my son I’ll be on you like a cheetah on some worthless gazelle, don’t you test me and don’t talk to my child”

[dailymudad]

dio: oh, flowers? you shouldn't have

giorno: i made them out of all the belt buckles and jewelry with your name on them so they could actually become something beautiful

dio, through his teeth: great

[dailymudad]

it’s time for the spook month

[dailymudad]

jojo PTA AU

Jotaro never wants to go but he Has to, sits in the crappy child’s desk chair in relative silence through the entire meeting, disagrees with everything Dio says, especially anything he suggests that would be too grand for an elementary school class. Surprisingly helpful when he wants to be, grounds everyone when they get off track. Chaperones school dances. (Save room for jesus Star Platinum, kids.)

Joseph is simultaneously the one who wants to get the most done but gets everyone off track through the majority of the meeting. A master of fundraising, which is like 60% legit and 40% con artistry for the greater good. If their school ever has a candy bar selling thing, he makes sure Josuke wins, even if he has to buy out the entire stock himself to give away to his employees, friends, and family. Frequently chaperones field trips, is the best at wrangling children.

Dio acts like the leader, proposes things he thinks are good for the children (read: only his son), gets snippy with teachers about their curriculum and tries to strongarm people into doing what he wants. He’d be successful were it not for the other people he wound up with in the PTA. If he has to bring snacks he makes sure it’s something Jotaro hates and wouldn’t eat. Gloats about Giorno when other parents talk about their kids misbehaving.

Diavolo always shows up in a pinstripe suit that looks like it has a little blood on it. Just wants to make sure Trish has good grades. Bruno hates this motherfucker, and the tension between them is palpable. Is only here to stuff a roll of 100$ bills into the donation jar and vaguely threaten that Trish better have a better report card next time around. She will, but not because he’s bribing Bruno. Banned from ‘bring your dad to school to talk about his job’ day.

Tomoko is the even more reasonable voice of reason. Flirts with Joseph relentlessly, but is among the few who can go “kids don’t like that these days” or “you have to take it easy on them/be a little stricter when it comes to this, okay? A mother knows.” Always wants the hard truth about Josuke’s report cards, will talk with Bruno about what Josuke needs help with in his classes before he catches hell at home for bringing home bad grades.

Bruno and Abbacchio are the teachers on the committee and have a few adopted kids in school. Abbacchio will tip a flask into his shitty meeting room coffee in full sight of everyone else-- and Diavolo will hold out his mug for him to share. Bruno always has detailed reports on what to do next and how to carry it out, talks about their kids and how to improve the classroom, very understanding, can calm everyone down pretty fast, even when Dio and Diavolo are about to suplex one another into oblivion.

[dailymudad]

imagine giorno showing dio the ear trick and dio going ‘HA, that’s NOTHING compared to what I can do’ and pulling off his own goddamn head

[dailymudad]

Dio evaluating his minions one by one for babysitter eligibility.

He ranks the top three as follows:

Pucci

Vanilla

Terence

Terence can keep a child entertained, but he doesn’t trust him enough and thinks Giorno might grow up weird if he’s brought up by a guy like him. Plus, I mean, what if he accidentally steals his son’s soul. Or make him a creepy doll. Still, he’s good for weekends when everyone else is busy.

Vanilla’s great because he’ll do anything Dio says and is loyal to a fault. That means all of the gross stuff that comes with raising a child is Vanilla’s problem! Too bad! It’ll come back to bite Dio in the ass when Giorno grows up being more affectionate with him and Vanilla is #blessed. a proud momther

Pucci gets his most implicit trust, and also Pucci is like sixteen around then... what’s the worst that could happen... he reads the bible to him at night? Giorno picks up his serene demeanor from him along the way, along with that elegant church aesthetic.

[dailymudad]

still stuck on stand dads + stands unconsciously expressing the user’s desires

Star Platinum will NOT leave Jolyne/Stone Free alone. Frowns if she’s wearing something inappropriate, crushes her in hugs, helps her with her nails. Jotaro could be in like, the next room pretending this isn’t happening but Jolyne will often sass Jotaro saying Platinum is a better dad than he is. He’s her pastel dad.

And then, picture: Giorno and Dio staring each other down across the table at a fine dining establishment. They’re both wearing the shadow face, prepared to spend a fine dinner playing evasive word games and never showing their hand even once... while Za Warudo proudly mudas about how cool GE is. He can make time infinite! He can slow down time in someone’s mind! and GE is just flipping his non-hair and going that’s NOTHING, watch when I take over the criminal world.

As Dio and Giorno mutually sweat over their short range stats and how they can’t even get away.

[dailymudad]

So, little Giorno with the pronounced physical features of a vampire.

He tans easily on his mother’s side, but he still somehow manages to sunburn, too. Ever since he was little, he’s had pronounced little canines that have nicked his lips more than once. As a young adult, he’s embarrassed to say he’s had the impulse to bite his enemies the same way one would instinctively raise their fists to them. As if the clamp of his jaw was an easier way to fight.

He knows it’s his father, the vampire, to blame for that, and because he’s never quite sure how much he’s inherited that he wonders if it’s... there, just latently, just needing some sort of trigger to bloom into full-blown monstrosity. He becomes slightly avoidant of blood-- not his own, but other people’s. He doesn’t like staring at it for too long, like he’s not sure if it’s bait or not.

He doesn’t mind the rumors. ‘Don Giovanna is a vampire,’ ‘Don Giovanna takes back the dues of men who can’t pay their loans in blood,’ ‘If... If I had my blood drawn for him, would he wipe away my debt?’

It’s funny watching people come in and stare intently at the very opaquely red wine he has set out for himself.

[dailymudad]

Giorno makes gingerbread cookies of every Jojo, to later find Jonathan’s head has been bitten off and the rest of the cookie lay mysteriously untouched.

[dailymudad]

this one is just for sillies but okay giorno not handling dio’s enjoyment of knives. he opens a sock drawer? knives. he looks beneath his bed? more knives. knives are gracefully added into dio’s interior decoration you know, just in case he’s gotta slay someone in the comfort of his own home.

giorno’s like why not a gun in stopped time. like okay murder is your thing, but anyone could tell you a stand would have a much harder time deflecting a bullet they weren’t expecting.

“it’s aesthetic giorno you of all people would understand”

[dailymudad]

Dio’s insisting on Giorno finishing school, though.

Because look. You have to have common sense and basic worldly studies to be a mob boss. Giorno says fuck that-- he can’t be moonlighting at a local private school as a student for a variety of reasons. As a compromise, Dio promises to tutor him in his off hours. No homework or essays, just education.

So at night, during times he demands he isn’t interrupted, Giorno sits quietly in Dio’s study as he teaches him a strict and expansive curriculum. Geography and maths, art and history from a first-person perspective of someone who lived through it up until he was shut in a box.

Sometimes, Giorno tells him how things panned out that Dio only knows vague approximations of. What theories have been disproven. Other times, Giorno sits in fascination to hear what the world was like through a mostly unbiased eye.

(To have Giorno as an enthralled student makes Dio happy in a very odd way. A mix of pride and a feeling that’s not quite control but is a little close.)

[dailymudad]

dio and giorno interacting with their merchandise, though. in some meta setting.

dio being somewhere between intrigued, offput, and critical of the fact that they get him wrong sometimes. this face looks odd, this looks cheap, etc. he’s secretly a fan of the very nice things, like gucci collab stuff. he’d be more interested in things depicting The World than his own visage, due to aforementioned pickiness.

giorno thinks they’re great in that fifteen year old way. he wants all of the passione toys. he’s made dio miffed before by popping a head off one of his figures and putting jonathan back on the body. the rest of his crew varies between thrilled and confused (abbacchio is particularly offended, he should be getting paid for this).

(dio is bizarrely fascinated by the jonathan figure. he likes to pop its head on and off like it’s an office stress toy)

[dailymudad]

Haruno thinks he sees his father in a cafe at night. At a table, hidden away from the rest. Tonight, the boy is evading curfew because he doesn’t want to go home.

Quietly, he walks over. It’s a good thing this man’s servants don’t notice him against the growing thicket of wild grass and cattails, or he would be caught and thrown out immediately. He’s too small to be considered a threat, anyway, but they’ll still catch hell for letting someone get so close to their master.

Or they would have.

Haruno reaches into his coat and lifts a photo up to Dio’s gaze. It’s a picture of him. He points to it, silently asking ‘is this you?’

Dio remembers every encounter. He’d call it his flawless mind, but his time in the box has only sharpened his memory for little details. A brash Japanese woman took that picture over his shoulder, flirting with him and fanning herself with the polaroid saying she wanted it to remember him by.

“You must be very lucky to find me here. Of course, it figures you would be...” He hums, thoughtfully.

“Come here.”