#post:vent | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

youredreamingofroo · 3 months

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going on insta and being reminded why I never check people's stories ever 😕

#post:vent #lots of envious bile and sadness comes out of checking my friends' stories (since i only use insta for irl stuff)#i just see how much fun or how well people are doing and im like jesus im such a loser in comparison #i wanna do what my friends/irls are doing but i cant and/or im too depressed to go do stuff ugh #doesnt help that half the stuff i wanna do means getting my license and pretty much all of my family/relatives are trying to push me into-#-getting my license :/ and im too scared to take the test (not cuz ill fail its kind of. hard to explain my actual reasoning sjdbsj) so-#-im just perpetually pressuring myself into thinking im pathetic for not doing things and for not having a license #well anyways. im really sad now so im gonna get off tumblr before i indulge my sadness-posting-desires sjdbsjdn #< continue to indulge* lmao #yapping

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youredreamingofroo · 4 months

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I hate how I can sit there, get all sappy and cry and then moments later, just. wipe the tears away and then get,,, mad at myself for feeling like that, or disgusted. why do I do this :T

#post:vent #might delete later #like. its not one of those things where i can shake off that anger/disgust.#its a visceral feeling. and it sucks. i just hate how it makes me belittle myself. its such an overwhelming feeling too #so i have to just get through it and wait for the suffocation to subside #anyways. getting thru a little ol weep rn. will prolly end up deleting this in the post-cry rage. or you and i can forget this happened-#-and itll get buried deep into the depths of my post. where u can only find it if u search hard enough (or search post:vent lmao)#yapping

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youredreamingofroo · 3 months

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I hate this looming fear that all my friends hate me just because we haven't talked in like a day or wtv. I'm so annoying :l

#post:vent #everytime i think about my friends hating me or disliking the thought of me i think of that one post-#-where this persons partner responded “thats kinda mean” irt to that person asking/talking abt ppl thinking badly of them behind their back #< something like that icr properly #just thinking “thats mean” whenever i feel like my friends hate me or dont like me and my messages and stuff #that thread changed my mindset but its still so unfathomable for me to think that my friends can have enjoyable thoughts about me-#-when im not around :p..#so as much as i wanna change my mind and say they can have nice thoughts about me. i just. cant. i always go back on myself sjddjjksnd

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youredreamingofroo · 3 months

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i think crying into someones shoulder while hugging them would fix me.

#post:vent #just thinking about how much more healing it is to talk and vent my problems in person than online/on the internet/over text #only problem is that im usually a lot more energetic and happy around people irl. making me a lot less likely to be sad infront of ppl #so venting in person kinda. never happens.#yapping

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youredreamingofroo · 3 months

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gonna try and treat myself when I run errands... I need happiness right neow

#post:vent #< sort of #im feeling better but ough it is notttt hard for me to suddenly get depressed at any point sjdhsjdn #yapping

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youredreamingofroo · 3 months

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wish there was a way to vent a small problem to a friend without feeling like I'm dumping 50 years of trauma onto them

#just dumping my [elevated] frustration to my friend and i feel so bad.#feelings suck. this all sucks.#terrible way to start tdy (12:30AM)#post:vent #yapping

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youredreamingofroo · 3 months

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tried to draw on my tablet which I haven't used in a while, spent most of the process crying because nothing looked right or proportionate, and ended up having all my feelings elevated by 1000, making me even more stressed abt tmmrw and more frustrated w/ a friend ugh

#post:vent #i was trying to draw roo and he just. didnt look like roo at all.#i hate how i can only draw for like a week and then anytime after that. trying to draw is just an alien process to me.#i hate it i hate it SO FUCKING MUCH :/ i just wanna be creative. i wanna improve in art #but i cant when im so frustrated and alienated from my art style and am just so demotivated to draw #yapping

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youredreamingofroo · 4 months

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I'm so tired of being angry and sad, I miss my friends, I miss being a kid with child whimsy. I hate laying in bed and feeling so empty and tired, I hate that I feel so empty to the point of wanting to collapse in on myself and die. I hate being so angry or so sad it makes me sick

#post:vent #tw : sui mention #sorry guys im going thru it rn :) <3 #literally laying here hoping i just suddenly die #theres so much anger and sadness in my core it makes me wanna throw up #i hate when im having a good day or feel good and then get brought back to this god awful feeling #getting upset like this makes me never wanna be happy or feel joy again bec ill eventually jus go back to this state

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youredreamingofroo · 4 months

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love how torn this household is!!! Love that my grandma rlly does not give a fuck about taxes and wants to spend most of our money on new things and stuff that isn't important and/or would just get used once and then never again!! Love that my grandpa wants to make sure we pay taxes so that we have a home but immediately backs down as soon as my grandma gets pissed off!!!!!!!! Love that we're spending so much necessary money on unnecessary things!!! Our only income!! is! Social Security!!!!!!!!! 😁

#post:vent #haha love this. love that. i hate it here.#im seriously so sick and tired of my grandma not getting her fucking head outta her ass #i love her. but jesus fucking christ we need money for taxes are you fucking serious???#we got 1000 dollars FOR TAXES from her brother. and now she wants to spend it on an 1100 dollar oven 😐#when my grandpa prompted her by saying it was for taxes she fucking blew up and changed her mind #she didnt even sit down to try and talk about it calmly. she left. came back. yelled at my grandpa. and then left again.#im on neither persons side bec i think it IS okay to buy new things and unnecessary things. but its also important to?? pay taxes????#it makes me sick thinking that we could end up homeless because of her jackass #trying to have peace and love in these trying times and its so so hard :')

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youredreamingofroo · 4 months

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nothing makes me more sad to be plus sized than trying on clothes that are supposed to be my size and them ending up not fitting :/

#post:vent #yapping #trying to stay positive and trying to find outfits that look nice for tmmrw but all my tight fitted clothes make me look... ugh.#and i dont feel formal if im wear baggy clothes.#and ofc the clothes that just. dont fit.

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youredreamingofroo · 4 months

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living in this household is such a train wreck ❤️

like wdym it's not normal for your guardians to be perfectly fine, then have an off day, which leads to my guardians arguing and having my grandma threaten to k word my grandpa and my grandpa just ask to be k worded, and then have me get so stressed out I just start crying, and in some cases (like today) have a panic attack that almost k/o's me 🫶🫠 only for everything to go back to normal 5 minutes later. Damn that's not normal??????? Welp.

#delete later #tw : kill mention #< idk if i should say this or death skdneksjs #post:vent #literally having been living in this hell for the last 4 or 5 years.#< have**#i blame those two for 90% of my emotional regulation methods.#genuinely unable to steady my breathing. rubbing my face so aggressively to the point of wanting my skin off. bawling. throwing things arnd.#all that just for me to agree with myself to not worry about that near knockout experience 2 min later lmfao 🧍‍♂️#as nice as it is to be able to just be able to switch from bawling my eyes out to being some form of happy/not crying in a few seconds-#-it just does not feel healthy at all.- possibly unrelated but ive noticed my breakdowns getting progressively worse and worse-#-and harder on my breathing + head sjdhsjd like a couple months ago my breakdowns would just be crying. now i just full on-#-deconstruct and shatter like glass on pavement :L #ugh sorry for this. i alr ranted to my friend abt this so this is unnecessary and i kinda planned to js not post this but whatever idc-#-ill js delete later (if i even remember that this post exists😐)

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