#ppl who are i/zzy enjoyers might claim e/dizzy plagarism here

[favouritefi]

okay but pls say more about codependent situationship jopzer in purror & erebark, i crave lore.

you know that part in seaside improvisations by richard siken where its like "tell me you love this, tell me you're not miserable" well thats like the tagline of jopzier in my catboy au. "tell me the life we've built together is something that makes you happy, tell me i'm not a huge disappointment to you, tell me that being together is enough even if you can't tell me you love me" and this mutual desire for a happy ending but the inability to articulate those desires. lore under cut:

in this au crozier has decades worth of feelings that he's always turned a blind eye to in favour of work, and then all of that is over after the failed expedition. no more work, no more exploration, no more social climbing. even the possibility of marrying sophia has disappeared (though crozier refuses to voice this outloud) and all he has is a half renovated cottage in fuckall nowhere and 5 catboys that he never asked for, one of which might be the greatest thing that's ever happened to him (and thus something doesn't deserve). and jopson knows crozier is unhappy but he doesnt know how to fix it, and crozier is unhappy because he feels like he's holding jopson back. he saved jopson from the arctic, mutinied for jopson, quit drinking for jopson and left the navy for jopson, and now jopson's doing what? stuck taking care of an aging old man who can't even afford to get him a tea set that isn't secondhand. theres a part of him that wishes jopson would leave, that thinks he could convince fitzjames to adopt jopson and make him undergo lieutenant training, but there's another part of him where, if jopson himself asked to leave, would be so incredibly angry that he would probably start drinking again.

meanwhile jopson has what could be charitably described as a deep gratitude for the man that changed his life and uncharitably described as an oedipus complex (which is what hickey calls it at every opportunity) with full awareness that he can never act on his feelings because it would legitimately ruin crozier's life. and hes hidden it well from crozier (because crozier doesn't know what normal catboy behaviour is like) but his possessiveness is obvious to nearly everyone else, whether they interpret that as love or duty or both depends on the person. at one point in tasmania crozier is called away by sir john so sophia and jopson are alone together and sophia stares at the door crozier just left through and says smth like "i think his greatest fantasy is for me to be his wife and for you to be the creature who rests beside me, half guard-dog, half lap-cat, as we wait for him to come home" and then she looks at jopson and smiles and says "maybe that's your fantasy too" and jopson is too stunned to respond.

in summary its just a constant cycle of "tell me what you want" "i want what you want" "i dont know what i want" for jopzier here, neither of them can answer the "what are we" question, thats their codependent situationship realness