#praying he wont see this lmaoo

[thatcheeseycandle]

//I WAS ABOUT TO EAT DINNER- BUT I REBLOGGED THE DAMN CHAPTER LMAO

TIME FLIES SO FAST AND YET IT FEELS LIKE CHAPTER 38 CAME OUT YESTERDAY, AND I AN NOT COMPLAINING!

AAND FUCK GIVE ME A MOMENT TO SPARE-

AANDDDDD YOURS TRULY IS BACK

“A Parasite takes it’s host after decades of waiting.” PARDON? Well shit BLUE OETER IS FUCKED, INCLUDING THE TAGS ON THE TUMBLR POST

BLANK?? WHATA WHAT WHAT IM SORRY?????? YEAH NO SHIT OF COURSE ITS A MONSTER.

“His face plate began to cave and buckle, the right side suddenly buckling as a monstrous black cloud burst forth like a swarm of bees.” WHAATAATKAHAH

NONOOOOOO

MAYGLOWER RUNTHE FUCK AWAY DOMT NO DONT HURTHER NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

NLUEPERTER SNAAP OUT PELAAASJ

Ay AY WHO THE FUCKS THIS???? WHO US THIS??????

Insert me just laughing my arse off, cause with how the tension was building up I NEVER EXPECTED THOMAS THE DAMN TANK ENGINEGAGAKAHHA

pAUAE PAYSE. PAUSE MUNA CAUSE I CANT HANDLE THIS SORRY

THOMAS YOU CHEEKY FUCK BEHAALAOSSHAO THIS WAS SO RANDOM IMSORRY

Just got back up from grabbing soemthing downstairs, oH GOD THIS IS GONNA BE AN EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER IM CALLING IT

Woah WOAH THEFUCK AY AY WAS GOING what's going on what's going on no no no no this is not happening wait wait

MALLARD?????????? WHAT

“This one, this one welcomes us and we feast upon decades and decades of anguish, pain and torment. He shall be better with us… He will be our toy.” PARDON ME?????

Either Black smoke struck him and he managed to push it back for so long but since all those emotions started fading this is why the black smoke is takjng over OR Blue Peter sold himself to the damn Devil. I DONTKNOW

Insert me yelling “DO SOMETHING” at the screen cause SHIT THOMAS WHY ARENT YOU TRYNA DO ANYTHING????? THE BLACK SMOKE IS RIGHT THERE. RIGHT THERE.

“We are the shadow to your light and we will not be denied!” I FUCKIN CAAAALLEDD ITTTTT YESSS

“I may be little, but little engines can do big things!” HE SAAAIDD ITT YEAAAHHHHH GO THOMAS GOOOO FUCK EHM UP YEAAAHHHHH

I FELLOFFMY BED. HOLYGOD. SCOT WHATTHEFUCK ARE YOUDOIGN THERE???????

“But to Scotsman, he was always just an arrogant fool with delusions of grandeur.” You wont be saying that WHEN YOU SEE WHAT THEFUCK HES BEEN UP TO YOULITTL

I’ll give him credit for shitting on North a bit, cause, well, Norths not been the greatest as we all know LMAO

“North had died and taken so much knowledge with him. It irritated Scotsman” ME TOO. ME FUCKIN TOO. YOU ARENT ALONE ON THIS SCOT

hHEHJWAIHAHA ABASHED TEENAGER IS THE RIGHT DESCRIPTION NGL

Okay GADWALL SMOOTHEN YOURSELF OUT A BIT

And fuck LMAOO

Woah. WOAHWOAH

ICUOKEDICHOKED ONMYSELF SEC

SO THERE IS INDEED MESSENGERS FOR PROTEUS. That actually MAKES SENSE, HES A GOD OF COURSE HE WOULD HAVE MORTAL MESSENGERS

Oh. Merlin, right, RIP to him btw.

Gadwall what the FUCK are you implying, cause if its what I theorize it to be Im opening a new doc

Ah. So those who accept death, follow into the realm of Proteus and stay there for eternity once they’ve accepted their fate. And those who havent are silver souls or/and souls who can be revived, that makes sense. It actually makes a lot of sense AY WAIR-

Sigh, well I mean at least Mallard is given that chance (I am praying he uses it right as well cause hes been through too much SHIT)

No NONONONOO LOOK MORE FURTHER- SHE IS INDEED IN THERE DONT STOP BELIEVING

HOLD ON TO THAT FEEEELINNGG

WHATOWHAAOWHAPHS

IFELL

OKAY

WHAT??????

LMAOOAHAHAAKHXTHROW HANDS???

What theufcj. WHATAHATAJAOAJAIAOA JACQUELINE?????

WAIT. SO NORTH’S COTTAGE ISNT HERE. WAIY FUCK WIAT-

DID NORTH MIX UP THE COTTAGES SO THAT HIS IDENTITY WOULDNT BE REVEALED OR SOMETHING?? OR REVEAL MERRY’S IDENTITY???

Wait. WAIT SO- QUICKSILVER. WAIT WAIT I JUST REALIZED. AHFUCK OF COURSE IT WAS THAT

WHAT???? SHES GONNA SAY IT RIGHT NOW AND THERE??????

WJAAATHAJ

SHEFUCKINISSSSSSS YEEEEEAAAAASSSSSSSS

MWYAJAOAHAAHAHAJAJHD UEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS YESSSS

BEINGEXCITED AND HAPPY IS SO TIRING LMAOO BUT FUCKYEAAHAHHHH UESSSS YESSSS

WE MUST CELEBRATE THIS CAUSE IT WAS ABOUT DAMN TIME AWKDHAKA YESSSSS

CRY ALL THE TEARS, THERE IS HAPPINESS IN THE WORLD FOR NOW, IN THIS MOMENT

IMGONNA FUCKIN TEAR UP JUST CRY ALL THE TEARS THAT WERE HELD BACK

TONIGHT WILL BE A GLORIOUS NIGHT

IMSMILLING SO WIDELY RN ICANT HSHALAHDKDH

SPOTIFY IS NOT HELPING ME EMOTIONALLY

GreyGREYY AYYYYYY GREY AND GOLD LETS GOOOO

AAnndd right THE GOLD DUST THING.. WELL FUCK

“Well- a little bit of trouble she’s a heavy girl- but that’s not the point-”  LMAOO GREYSHSJALAH

AT LEAST YOU DID ITTTT YOU FUCKIN CONQUERED THAT INCLINE!

OHGOLD NO OF COURSE THERES STILL USE DONTSAYTHAT

AEDJDDHSJ ME HEARTS MELTING GIVE ME A MOMENT

BAHAKAUAGSSHDAH

IVE LOST MY VOCAL CORDS AT THIS POINT, TODAY IS A GRAND NIGHT I SAY, A GRAND NIGHT IT WILL TRULY BE FOR ME

PURWLAHAIDHD

PURPLE

THIS SI THE MOMENT

WAJDHDSKD

YEESSSS THEYVE MET

LOUD EXTROVERTED ENGINES WITH THEIR INTROVERTED TAKEALONGS LETS GOOOO

AWWESHSH

AYYYYY ROOSTERS HERE LETS GOOOOO

BWHAJAJAH LMAOOO YET AGAIN, NOT SCOTTISH HWKAKAGSSK

Sparks of JDGAKAUS RIGHT HES HALF HUMAN AND HALF CONSTRUCT OHMFYAP THEYRE HALF HUMAN AND HALF CONSTRUCTS

A FAMILY OF HYBRIDS

Wait left? TRURO YOUFKCING KNEW?? Okay wait yeah OF COURSE HE WOULD KNOW THAT

Wait wAIT WAIT GREY??? Okay so the phrase “your the reason for me greying” is true in this context, stress could be the reason.

Or is it Lady or/and Proteus seeing North’s fate come hence why his construct was unpaused from it’s immortality and was left to properly age a bit before dying?

No. ROOSTER FUCKING TELL HIM PELASE

FINAAALLYYYYYYY FINALLY YOU LOT REALIZE IT FUCKING FINALLYYYY

WHAT THE FUCK IS THE LEY LINES???? WHAT.

Wait. The heart condition was made from blacksmoke, it was cold iron sleep, but North made a wish to Lady TO KEEP OLIVIA ALIVE RATHER THAN KEEPING HIMSELF ALIVE. HOOOOOOLYGOSH.

MALLARD???????? AMLALR DHWTA THE FUCK DOYOUMEAN

MALLARD YOU JUST GOT GOOD WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING THIS TO YOURAELF GOD PLEAAASSEE.

No. NO. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO9OOOOOOOOOOOOO

RHOMAAYOUFUCKITHOUGHTYOUWOILDSAVEHIM

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[mosviqu]

IT PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH AND I HATE ALL OF THE THINGS I GOT TO KNOW ABOUT THIS ERA THEIR HARD WORK IS NOT APPRECIATED ENOUGH WAHHH

i didn't even have the motivation to check out the last song from them ngl💔💔very sad about them but maybe i will like it after watching music shows lmao i wont give up (fully) on the 03liners💔 WAITTTT TRUE HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT INTAK WHAT THE HECK I WAS SO HAPPY ABOUT HIM (and same i saw that they are having a cb and i was like:o i forgot about u guys:o) AN AMAZING CREW!!!! also would selfishly add enhypen sunoo he is a lovely 03 liner as well🥹 (idk know mcnd☹️☹️ i heard like 2-3 of their songs but i never checked them out☹️ BUT IM HAPPY THERE IS AN 03 LINER IN THERE!!!)

IT IS IMPORTANT BUT IM STILL NOT SURE IF ITS 100% TRUE😭 i love keeho so much like that was the point where i was like yeah u are going to be my fav from here!! seeing the screenshots of it still makes me laugh so much

i can imagine that😭 my sister was in the exact same situation as u💀

IT WAS!!!! dino is lovely and i would love to see u being his body guard ngl🤣 I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY THEY DIDNT DO IT💔���just such a big heartbreak💔💔ALSO TALKING ABOUT TREASURE DID U HEAR THE SNIPPET HE POSTED OF A SONG??? it sounds very great imo

I CAN SO RELATE TO THAT!!! english is so hard without english classes i never realized that till now💔 i only talk in english with my sister but it's a mess i even just struggle to put together sentences now😭 writing my replies takes so much brain cells from me so i always just pray that u will get what i'm trying to say even if it's not correct lmao🥸 RECORDING VLOGS IS SO MUCH FUN!! i did it for a while and it was so amazing so i recommend it only sent them to my bestie but it was actually so funny😭 THE BRITISH PEOPLE GOT US REAL HARD💔

(AHHH THANK U SO MUCH;-; I APPRECIATE IT!!! HANBIN!!! I HOPE U WILL HAVE MORE MOMENTS OVER HIM LMAO HE IS VERY GREAT😌 although be careful with asking me about zbone members cuz idk three of them;-; but working on it🤞 and u can tag me or message me ofc i dont mind🥹💕) (liebestraum anon🥳💕)

LITERALLYYYY i saw a tiktok where it compared all the other dances where its a member x woman (ten or baek) and it said "so this is okay, but this isnt?" showing enha and the comments were like "we are the problem" LMAO so at least they are self-aware.

no because i was really disappointed too >:(( but the title track still slaps i said what i said. watched them perform it too and they have cute bubbly vibes i am heartbroken for the lack of interest from my side. NO BC WHEN I STARTED BIASING INTAK AND REALISED HE WAS A 03 LINER I HAD A MENTAL BREAKDOWN. ((still am a jiung girlie at heart tho). i am really excited for their cb tho it sounds amazing!!! HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT SUNOO WHAT THE FUCK AAAAAAAAAA IM SO SORRY he's my fav 03 liner. ((there are actually 2 03 liners in mcnd but i forgot the other one LMAO i honestly cant remember their names anymore but i had a very short mcnd phase lol. all i know is that i'd die for minjae thats all)

i would honestly be a good bodyguard bc i have a lot of rage in me. like i could fully fight someone if i was mad enough LMAOO. everything for dino baby <3 I DID SEE THE SNIPPET I LOST MY SHIT LOWKEY HIGHKEY I AM SO EXCITED AAAAAAA

i mean english isnt really hard for me if we are talking abt writing and stuff but speaking out loud is more difficult if you don't regularly do it >:( dont worry we are on the same wavelength i always know what u mean w your replies AHAH sometimes i speak in eng w my roommate bc she is an english major (she only picked the major bc of me and then i ended up doing psychology so i owe her this bc her english isnt as good as mine) I USED TO RECORD VLOGS W MY BROTHER but we never posted them thank god. i'm still down to do it honestly its so fun LMAO

hanbin.......i looked up his name on tiktok once and now my fyp is filled with him and im so in love he's so cute and adorable and sweet like i saw clips of ppl giving him letters and how much he loves getting them and even asked if anyone has letters for him please zb1 fans give him letters!!!!!! no bc i only know ricky, hanbin, zhang hao and matthew :,) but the more i see them on my fyp the more i am convinced to stan once they debut like i legit debated on watching boys planet yesterday bc i lowkey like survival shows but when i found out the eps are 2 hours long i decided to just....not...do that...

also a small update on the tbz recs i did some progress and i really liked diamond life and survive the night :p i have like 11 songs left from the ones u recommended LMAO but yeah i loved those two

[jaeyooniverse]

the FIRST COLLECTION commentary no one asked for, by yours truly

1. Good Guy

00:00 - I love that the recent comebacks have had That Sound at the beginning. Not the same sound but a distinct sound that the moment the song starts you just KNOW. They are sounds i love to imitate tbh

00:08 - okay idk why but the crescendo of the synth/strings (i dont know music words, bare with me for this) it’s so pretty and very well represents how i gradually get more excited as the song starts ( ilove this song). also i’ve watched so may stages that now my mind just immediately starts the fanchant

00:16/00:21/00:23/other times but i wont list them all - the echos!! ugh i love it *chefs kiss*

00:21 - okay i love all of taeyangs opening line but esp the “oh noo”

00:29 - the Slight autotune to dawon’s voice as he says “baby” is my aesthetic

00:38 -  jaeyoon does this part so well like it’s just so PERFECT for him; i love how he says “yeah” sdfhdjkd

00:47 - THE BASS DURING THE CHORUS. this alone gets me so excited it’s so GOOD ; this chorus is the perfect type of addictive like it’s catchy but you wont get annoyed when it’s stuck in your head oof

01:01 - what do i even say,, inseong,,,,

01:14 - i’m probably gonna say this a million times but jaeyoons vocals are so perfect for his parts, props to whoever decides the line distribution, truly, and props to my man’s execution ♡_♡

01:17 - i’m upset youngbin’s part is so short bc it’s so GOOD esp the “feel it” and the “that’s what i like neoui jeonbureul YEH” and omg now whenever his part comes on i think about that penguin video and him reenacting it 🥺🥺 

01:26 - zuhos part is also gold and i love the dance during his & bin’s parts !

01:36 - am i the only one(haha) who gets butterflies in my stomach when dawon sings?? something about the slight run when he sings “molla~ yeah”... oof

01:41 - ROWOON. Yes. i love how soft his voice is compared to when jaeyoon sings this shdfkjh

01:51 - i already mentioned the bass during the chorus but i MUST point it out again. i love the triple beat or WHATEVER you wanna call it ugh it’s my favorite part

02:02 - who can “oh yeah” like rowoon? no one can, no one’s doing it like him

02:19 - i can’t believe i had to wait more than 2 minutes to hear hwiyoung rap for like 2 seconds but ANWAY i love his part i love his rapping voice also the little guitar part in the bg!! good stuff!!! 

02:33 - okay inseong i get it, you have vocals. also i was lowkey disappointed that note didn’t last longer?? also also the first time i heard this i got flashbacks to Be A Man by MBLAQ when G.O’s sings his “never” (that’s how long i wanted inseong’s note to be) and funnily so, it’s around the same time mark as this one lmaoo

02:36 - how the muic goes quiet afterwards,, inseong’s voice echoing and fading away,, poetic cinema

02:37 - THE BASS ,, it hits differently when it’s that end-of-the-song hype 😩

02:39 - THE “OH!” 

02:46 - this part also hits different,, when you watch the stage and zuho is in center looking like THAT....it hits, it truly hits...

02:50 - okay waait i literally just noticed this but is that jaeyoon saying “you so bad” in the bg??

02:53 - not to be dramatic but the first time i heard this song i literally teared up (i still do, if i’m sensitive enough) when it got to this part like dawon’s voice is just something else !! when he sings “naya”,,, ugh the color, the emotion, the man,,,, also cant listen to this part and NOT think about (or do) his little dab move thing sdhfkjh

02:57 - the “chajabwa!” oh vocal king 😩

2. Am I the Only One

00:06 - 😳

00:11 - jaeYOON! I love how airy ? his voice can sound The echoes man, the echoes,,

00:38 - okay this is literally one of my favorite lines dawon’s voice sounds so good here i literally canNOT get over it any time i listen to this song. That “OoH” at ~00:43? the “geuriumi miumi dwaegimaneul I PRAY” ,, an instant classic

00:48 - the VOCALS at this part,, unmatched

01:07 - the “oh-ohh” in the bg i love it shjkshf

01:34 - loook when i tell you youngbins part is my fave part of this song!!! it’s a shame it’s so short but OH i’m always so excited when it starts,, idk what it is,, his voice? the vibes?? the rhymes?? whatever it is,,, it all comes together to make one of my fave youngbin verses

02:00 - yes I already pointed out dawon’s “i pray” part but it hits different everytime he does it, i’m telling you!

02:01 - the amount of layers in this song,, i think it’s inseong&rowoon right?? and then jaeyoon’s little “hey ay”s 🥺

02:39 - chani’s part is like, third favorite for this song. I love his voice, the vibes of this ,, the “yeh yeh” at ~2:43

02:54 - zuho does this thing where it sounds like he’s trying to rush and squish his verse into a certain frame of measures but in the end it still spills into the next measure and tbh i like it here dsfhjkh

02:57 - the POWER in this man’s VOICE ugh this verse is truly for me like going from dawon singing like THAT to jaeyoon, oof i’m in love

03:23 - youngbin’s “tell me where the love goes”,, the little echo of it (how many times will i mention echoes? stay tuned)

03:34 - that ending,, *chef’s kiss*

3. Shh

firstly i love that i now know Two (2) songs with this title (okay the Seventeen one has another ‘h’ but, still), and i love that they’re two diff feels. seventeens is that Good Noise, and has the “shh , just trust me” vibe, while sf9’s is just “shhhut up”

00:00 - the guitar! yes

00:12 - i dont even know what to call this sound but i love it

00:26 - LOVE tae’s vocals oof

00:28 - “right here is where i wanna be”,, you know where i wanna be?? an sf9 concert

00:33 - jaeyoon’s “baby don’t question me”,,, 😳

00:40 - the R is Rowoon stands for RealTalent

00:54 - the instrumental to this song is so good like i could just listen to that alone; also that “ooh~” we stan!

01:02 - inseong’s vocals in this song (okay in ANY song, but we’re talking about this song rn) are just,, amazing

01:26 - i just noticed how that “yeahhh” drags on idk how i feel about this im shdfjkh

01:36 - hi i’m tawa and i’m a dawonaholic

01:50 - shout to that beautiful saxophone tho,, gorgeous

02:03 - see i’m trying to limit how many times i mention dawons lines bc otherwise i would just comment on all of his lines ANYWAY this line hits different the second time around,, when he hits this note,,, i’m ascending as we speak

02:25 - okay the instrumental during zuho’s part,,, good stuff.. his part in general,, GOOD stuff!! 

02:30 - the pause at the end of the line and then the little ‘ding’! musical gold

02:33 - his little “whoop”s and “hey”s and “ay”s omg Number One Hype Man Baek Juho!! the build up of the music & him increasing the speed of his rap,, who is doing it like zuho please tell me

02:39 - here’s a secret: i love dawon’s vocals

02:45/2:51 -  K I M   I N S E O N G

02:56 - okay just one more time,, i love dawons vocals

Wait was hwiyoungbin in this song? Sdfhkjh

4. Lullu Lalla 

okay idk what i was on the first time i heard this song but for whatever reason i didn’t think much of it,, but now i have seen the [beautiful] light i absolutely love this song

00:00 - like it just started and the music is so cute and cheery omg i love this, youngbin’s little “here we go yo~”

00:07 - okay i know the lyric is “drop in” but in my mind i always say “jopping” 💀💀

00:11 - “hey what’s good?” sir it’s your voice,, your voice is whats good

00:20 - hwis voice is so cute i love it sdhfjkh

00:30 - the little “WheeEe” !! i giggle every time it’s so flippin cute like i have the stupidest smile on my face rn i love this part so mcuh

00:40 - the ‘ya jamkkan’ and then the small pause yo i LOVE this and also the “jinjja?” sdhfjkshj GOD i love this song 

00:41 - if you try to tell me this song is not perfect for jaeyoon’s voice i will Not listen to you. youve lost your right to form opinions i’m sorry

00:54 - i have no idea what to call it but that little high pitch noise/sound/thing that kinda mimics the lyrics/rhythm is so cute to me, esp in a later part of the song but we’ll get to that when we get to that

01:05 - “DONT YOU STOP”, filed under “Lines Tawa Cannot Hear and NOT Sing Along To”

01:09 - i really cant think of any other word to describe dawons voice here except cute :(( maybe i just think hes cute :(( also inseong’s “you’re so crazy~” like okay we get it you have vocals 

01:12 - sdhfjkhkj the only thing better than the “whee” is chani going “yeaayyy” 😭😭😭 tell me this isnt the cutest part of the song!! I dare you!!

01:22 - there goes zuho doing that thing with his rap again

01:24 - “nan sweet guy” is also filed under “Lines Tawa Cannot Hear and NOT Sing Along To”, i think jaeyoons voice is so soft and pretty here :c 

02:07 - idk what to say i just like these lines

02:12 - completely unbiased but this is like my fave part of the song omg yes dawon bb hit those notes 😭 and the at the end of his note that high pitch thing comes in and does its little thing and it’s so cute okay? this whole song is just so CUte. i havent read the lyrics translations but the small words/phrases ive picked up oh it’s cute i should really read the translations for these songs sometime shdfkjsh

02:23 - the way dawon says “beolsseo time over” is like one of my favorite things ever, along with how he says “joha” (well, more like “jowa” sdhfkjh but it’s so cute ugh im devastated why do i love his voice so much okay anyway--

02:49 - yoo taeyang ily

02:53 - “that was crazy” you know what’s crazy? How cute that song is

5. One Love

00:00 omg cute funky queennn!! also not to be me but like,, jaeyoons ooh-ooh ooh’s at the beginning is enough reason for this to win aoty no i will not accept any other opinions

00:20 - idk why i just like how inseong says “naman bollae”

00:24 - jaeyoon ;;-;;

00:33 - just,, this,,, *heart eyes* taeyang’s lil airy voice is like,, so good,, so beautiful

00:41 - baby,,,i want you, so loving for you,,, you’re all i think about all day,,,,, bros this is lichrally me @ dawon i can’t believe the writers for this song would get inspo from me WHERE ARE MY ROYALTIES. okay but seriously his voice when he sings haru jongil ni saengakbbuniya :((( <33 i like to imagine he’s softly smiling as his voice softens and trails off at the end,,, oh no oh boy im soft look what ive done ive thought about this for too long lets move on before i start-- *cries*

01:09 - part 247023789 of my crying over dawon’s vocals. stay tuned for more

01:22 - ugh kim inseong if you dont stop 

01:29 - OW

01:30 - love how taeyang sings this esp the ending syllable omg 

01:44 - the little trill or whatever in jaeyoon’s voice,, filed under “Reasons to Smile”

01:57 - i lichrally screamed like his voice is just so pretty and then the layering when he says “bbuniya” im gonna cry see you guys later 

02:43 - chani~~~

02:47 - whys hwi rapping like he had a time limit and he almost went over it like,,, they really just smooshed rap line all into this one part which like i guess i get? the way this song goes doesnt really lend itself to rap i guess ?

02:51 - the pause, the silence,,, only to be broken by the golden vocals of kim inseong,, im love

02:58 - seong’s lil “yeah!"

03:17 - “focus on my mind YEAH”

03:27 - sweet ending to a sweet song ;c

6. Like the Hands Held TIght

this song is truly Fall in Love’s little cousin like they are really related and im not good with words so i cant explain it but i just KNOW. sometimes i’ll be singing fall in love in my head but then somehow it turns into like the hands held tight?? If i could make song mash-ups i would

00:06 - i go “take my, my hands yeahh” at least once a day. thank you taeyang

00:14 - i need a taeyang solo and i need it now ; also i really like hwis verse? Idk what it is about it but it fits him very well and he does so good during the stages, he rocks it

00:32 - i like all of bin’s verse but esp this part especially especially bc of the choreo during it

00:37 - and then THIS part and dawon’s the only one on stage,,, what an experience,,

00:44 - the way he pronounces maeumeul is just.. *chefs kiss*

00:49 - another instance of tae’s wonderful airy? singing being absolutely perfect for the song concept

00:55 - aah~

01:00 - the EMOTION 

01:08 - idk what it is but inseong singing ‘gotongdoO~!’,, my heart,, sasiliya feel it

01:12 - imma say it now bc you already know im thinking it,, jaeyoons voice is PERFECT for this song, hands down no questions,,, that falsetto

01:16 - “nae huimangui bichi neoya” ♡_♡

01:19 - “sumeul swineun iyudo” 

01:21 - “AY. AY!”

Idk if it’s obvious but i just LOVE his part it’s so good i love the way he sings

01:34 - ‘yeah yeah yeah’

01:35 - omg i love rowoons part and his little dance during the stage it’s so good so wonderful just all around amazing great job seokwoo

01:37/01:39 - the little pause before the “yeah”s and just how different these two yeahs are but also i love them both equally

01:47 - *eun dan oh voice* HARU-YAH sdhfkjh okay anyway i love the way jaeyoon sings these lines esp how he says haru and naeili (also? Time over? like is this lullu lalla?)

01:57/02:06 - dawon :’) 

02:42 - dAngerOUS neooreuuuul wihaaaae

02:47 - dawon’s vocals omgggg

02:53 - okay whos that high note im LIVING for this

02:57 - ugh okay i love taeyang in the background; taeyang in this song in general,,, 

03:05 - jaeyoons lines are just so gooddd i love singing along to this song

7. Fire

00:00 - love the little sounds at the beginning,, quality start

00:04 - “it’s me” uhm okay but who are you? 

00:05 - the instrumental is so good tho sdhkjh oof

00:36 - not biased or anything but oh my goodness dawon’s voice!! It’s so pretty :c

00:41 - ready! ready! (go)

00:43 - LET’S GOO

The chorus for this song is just,,, so GOOD im sorry i only have like 5 words in my vocabulary but omg it’s just,,good

00:49 - this line!! I love it

00:59 - rowoon has that kinda voice that he could be saying any nonsense and you’d just be like *heart eyes* yes say it again king;; the way he says “let it go, let it go”

01:05 - love me love me love me YEAH 👌🏾

01:15 - YES

01:25 - omg youngbin ily omg his part is so lit but not like HYPE lit it’s just,, it’s chill lit we vibin

01:38 - im a little bit in love with dawon’s vocals in this song. just a little.

01:42 - the way he says READY. YOU GUYS IM CRYING I LOVE HIM?

01:50 - the way inseong sings “neoman” just,, soO good. inseong... good. 

02:01 - rowoon if you dont be careful im gonna ‘fall in love’ with you

02:15 - chani & zuhos raps + the music change im LOVE this it’s so good

2:24 - omg zuho finishes his rap on time OH YEAH

02:27 - *cries* okay this is it,, this is my favorite dawon line in this song

02:34 - is it really an sf9 song without inseong’s incredible vocals??

02:40 - wait maybe this is my favorite dawon line?? Idk dont touch me;;; the way he says “neoman”,,,,, give me amoemn t dklfmsd fn.l

02:41 - okay and this part, that note,,,, lee sanghyuk,,,,,

8. Stop it Now

00:01 - okay we vibin

00:16 - i really think hwi’s voice fits this song so well, along with like the hands held tight, also love the instrumental during his part;;; is this his longest verse on the album ,, sdhfkj

00:31 - im not gonna lie i think this is jaeyoon but part of me is like what if its taeyang,, either way,, beautiful voice

00:45 - THIS is taeyang and THIS LINE?? perfect, he executes it so well. this album was truly made for him; also love the instrumental here,, i feel like i’d hear it in the bg of a fantasy mmo/rpg

00:59 - idk what it is about inseongs voice but i love it

01:03 - chaniiii

01:06 - :)

01:16 - hello there sir

01:31 - oh his voice is so pretty ;-;

02:23 - zuho’s raps being the buildup is my aesthetic bro

02:31 - YES inseong homygod

02:36 - dawon ;cc also inseongs bg vocals,, thanks for your contribution king

02:40 - wait was i not paying attention or is this the first time rowoon sings (i probably wasnt paying attention)

02:44 - dawons little ‘yeah yeah’ and little adlibs?? filed under “Reasons to Stan”

02:51 - all the layering these background vocals and adlibs and just,,, what a lovely mix

02:53 - inseong imma let you finish but dawon’s “janin hage” is the greatest :// no im not biased

9. Dance with Us

00:01 - i love zuhos voice throughout this song omg :( 

00:05 - omg the piano in the bg is so cute um i love it:((((

00:21 - the way inseong sings “nun bushyeo” 🥺

00:23 - tae’s high notes 🥺🥺🥺

00:28 - okay this line,, him saying ‘i like you’,,, ;;-;;

00:30 - lovvvvve hwis verse here, and the little “ay”s 

00:38 - LMAO i just noticed the “AH!” in the bg??? Why?? 

00:40 - okay this line reminds me of bin’s verse in another song but i cant?? pinpoint it???? uhhhh i think it’s see u tomorrow?

00:47 - okay that transition from jaeyoon to taeyang,,, *chefs kiss*

00:52 - rowoon saying ‘haru’, they did it for us @extraordinary you stans

also im  reading the lyrics as i do this and omg wait this song is so cute so precious,,”today was hard,wasnt it baby? Close your eyes you can hug me??” i’m sobbing?? I’m developing a new love for this song oh my heart--

00:56 - rowoons vocals when he says “naege angyeodo dwae” omg pls

00:57 - LOVE the layering during the chorus it’s so good but also i cant tell who the lower voice is? Zuho? Hwiyoung??

01:12 omg *a wild dawon appears*

01:16 - SKR SKRR

01:19 - no i’ll never shut up about dawon’s vocals

01:40 - these vocals mannnn,, you know what?? I need a jaeyoon & taeyang duet. like i know weve already got one from concerts but i need MORE 

02:27 - i just love this part :(( 

02:31 - i was literally like “wheres inseong” and then he comes out with his powerful vocals as per usual,,,

02:35/’8 - like do you hear this??? go OFF sir also love how the music quiets down and then slowly builds back up !!

03:07/’8 - AAAAH YES BEST PART OF THE SONG I LOVE CHORUS/CHANTING OH IT’S SO GOOD I LOVE IT I LOVE THISS

03:23 - *whispers* dope

10. Beautiful Light

00:11 - “once in a lifetime~”

00:34 - i have already said and will continue to say this but rowoons voice is so perfect for this song

00:49 - dawon i would LOVE to be with you forever

00:53 - ugh this chorus is just so cute, so sweet ;c

00:59 - the way they sing “malhae JUlgeoya”,,, ugh love this little note jump thing idk what to call it,, it’s like a pretty version of a voice crack 😂😅

01:23 - zuhoooo

01:40 come through main vocalist kim youngkyunnnn!!

02:00 - yes im pointing out this line again i LOVE it

02:23 - this part 🥺🥺 

02:29 - OKAY THIs PART!!! I swear rowoon’s voice is sooo pretty hear idk what it is but when he sings this line,,, my heart feels thing,,,emotions,,, it’s so much

02:33 - that “hoo-oh~” ugh rowoon please record an audiobook i could listen to you for hours 😔

02:44 - alright,, i have figured out the formula for sf9 songs,,, music slow down then build up with inseong’s high/long note around ~2:30-40 dkfhjsk before the last chorus but this time with more adlibs (probably also by inseong)

okay i’m done (for now) fsdfhjkhsf i’d be surprised if anyone actualy read any of this tbh. if you did read this, congratulations you have a better attention span that i do LMAO i would say stan sf9 but if youre reading this you probably already do

okay bye goodnight

[mazojo]

Favorite Sohma’s

Hi yes, uh, I needed a space to rant about fruits basket because I am still very broken so yea

Disclaimer that this is just my opinion and I still love them all very much, just needed to get this out of my system ayee. Also I will include a song that reminds me of them because I am that invested in this so yeaaaa

14- Kagura Sohma

Boy by Little Mix - “I know what you’re worth girl, you know what you got”

I rank Kagura as my least favorite just for the fact that I cant really relate to her I guess? I mean, she is okay, I think she is cute and all but I don't think violence is the way to go about her struggles and she is so much more worth than she gives herself credits for. In the end, I dont think I full understood her big struggle as much as the other characters and thats why she is at number 14, although I want her to be happy and full of love and support like the others ;w;

13- Akito Sohma

My Eyes by Neil Patrick Harris and Felicia Day - “But it’s plain to see, Evil inside of me is on the rise”

Akito is a complicated one for me man. Of course, in the beginning and throughout the manga you learn to really dislike her because she did some terrible things, specially to my baby boi Yuki and eye-.... But then when we learn more about her and everything she has gone through we start sympathizing with her but i..... cant just forget everything she did. I get she was traumatized since she was little, she became dependent on the zodiacs because of her father’s words and mother’s behaviour thus becoming a broken person with this big responsibility she didn't ask for. It really ticks me however, how much pain the others underwent through her, and even though its a healing process, the traumas and everything they suffered is still there which is why I cant place her higher. I do not hate her by any means, but she isnt my favorite person on this list either. I do ship her with Shigure and I think they help each other out, and they grow from the other.

12- Shigure Sohma

Used to the Darkness by Des Rocs - “Now would you pray before you twist the knife? Yeah, would you take my hand and take a life?”

*big sigh* Shigure is also a complicated one for me. It may be my big dumb energies showing but I didnt fully get a grasp on his character? I know he was doing everything for Akito’s sake to liberate from the curse and be with her so she is finally a “woman” but he always acted a bit shady xD?? I would have love to know more about his backstory, we dont get much from his motivations and character other than the perverted aspect and that he loves Akito lmaoo. I do think he is hilarious and I love the dynamic he has with Hatori and Ayame lol

11- Ayame Sohma

Starships by Nicky Minaj - “Starships were menat to fly, Hands up and touch the sky “

To be honest I am pretty neutral about Ayame’s character. He is hilarious and I love how Yuki insults him every tike he gets the chance lolll. I like how throughout the story he tries to change to become a better brother to Yuki and person even though he is pretty extra most of the time about it. He has a good heart and even though he made some mistakes he owns up to them which in my opinion, makes him a good character <33 I love his friendship with Hatori lmaooo they balance each other out sooo well

10- Kureno Sohma

Taking Chances by Celine Dion - “Never knowing if there's solid ground below, Or a hand to hold, or hell to pay”

I really like Kureno! He has gone through quite a bit and he needs a hug. I am sad thinking how most of his life he lead it pretty similarly to Yuki’s, apart from everyone and super enclosed to his relationship with Akito due to him breaking the curse and feeling bad about it. I do wish we would have gotten to know more about his personality and story, if we did I would have definitely ranked him higher! He really reminds me of Tohru’s father and I think Uotani is perfect for him <33 would have love to see more about the two of them and hopefully they expand upon it in the anime

9- Ritsu Sohma

Waving Through a Window by Ben Platt - “On the outside, always looking in, Will I ever be more than I've always been?”

Okay okay so I have a lot of thoughts on Ritsu. Manga Ritsu is okay, I really dont have much of an opinion on him due to him appearing only in a few chapters, I feel like from the Sohma’s, he is the one we get the least information about. But then the anime episode came out where they presented Ritsu and I thought they gave him so much more life and rounded personality where, I get to relate a lot to him? I am someone who is constantly apologizing for absolutely no reason and seeing him be all anxious and stressed about others interactions is big relate to me and I stan. I also think the whole dressing as a woman plot line is better dealt with in the anime and I hope we get to see more about his insecurities and troubles in the future because he is truly a very interesting character! I stan my one (1) anxious monkey.

8- Kisa Sohma

Mean by Taylor Swift - “But you can take me down with just one single blow, But you don't know what you don't know”

Cinnammon rooooooolll. Kisa is such a cutie. I dont have much to say other than my mood every time I think about Kisa is hugging her like Tohru does because she is babyyyy. Also her bullying story is one I think many viewers and readers can relate a lot to and such an important topic I think they covered pretty well and I loveee. Also her and Hiro are one of my favorite ships because they work so well and asdfgh in this household Kisa is a queennn.

7- Isuzu Sohma

Take me Home by Jess Glynne - “Came to you with a broken faith, Gave me more than a hand to hold”

I really like Isuzu!! I am pretty bummed we wont get to meet her in season 1 of the Anime reboot but hopefully in the nest season! She is quite a complex character that I didnt really understand at the beginning but once we see how much she loves Haru and all that she does in order to protect and keep him save she really went up my list. She has gone through so much, from her shattered reality from her parents, Akito threatening Haru, her being locked up withour given any food.... Isuzu is so strong and one of the best build characters in the series and I am super excited to see her in the anime!

6- Hiro Sohma

Time to be a Man by The Airborne Toxic Event - “And it’s time to be a man, Tell me how does that go?”

My bastard childdd <33 He is such an asshole and such a sweetie at the same time. His whole inner struggle of not feeling like a good enough man for Kisa is so heartwhelming and I think it really makes sense to the type of person he is. The flashbacks of him telling Akito how he loves Kisa and the feeling of uncertainty and impotency when seeing the girl he loves being hurt by his actions and wanting to be good enough for her even though he is more than enough sdfghjasd. I am also a softie for older brothers who love their families *cough cough* spoiler alert: Momiji *cough cough* that I love me one angry boi

5- Hatsuharu Sohma

4 Seasons by Rex Orange County - “I saw myself as less and you so high above me”

Cow boil! apart from the fact that I love love loveeee Haru’s design, I think he is also such a well build character! He is not only supportive of everyone (aka the loves of his life, Rin and Yuki xDD) but he is so interesting! His split personalities give him a cool trait (even though dark Haru doesnt appear much in the end of the manga) and I love how he helps everyone and makes sure those he loves are protected at all cost and happy. He is Rin and Yuki’s fan club stan leader and I am co-leader so we been stanning aye

4- Hatori Sohma

Fireflies by Owl City - “I'm weird 'cause I hate goodbyes, I got misty eyes as they said farewell”

Boooooy the next four to come are my absolute favorties and I would die for their happiness and love so *takes big breathe* I LoVE hAtORi sOhMAAa. To be honest when we first meet him I didnt like him much. I thought he was your usual dark deep character who doesnt talk much because he is too cool for everyone (which, he is) and that was that. But boi was I in for a riDE. His story about having to erase the memories from the woman he loves is one of the ones I cried through the most. I put myself in his shoes and wonder if I had to erase the memory of the person I loved the most, make them forget they ever met me, all our happy times, sad times, angry times.... No matter what its one of the most saddening moments and the whole scene is heartbreaking, which makes me love Hatori even more for the fact of how strong he is and selfless. He puts himself before others and he need to know he also deserves happiness and I am glad in the end he got it because homeboy needed a break ;w;. I also adore Ayame’s relationship with him xDD, he is like his idol and big same.

3- Kyo Sohma 

This song saved my Life by Simple Plan - “Sometimes it feels like nobody gets me, Trapped in a world where everyone hates me”

Top three babyyyy. We have now my angry cat boi™. I mentioned it before but going into the reboot firsthand without reading the manga nor watching the first anime, I thought Kyo was going to be my absolute favorite character. I knew he would be the angry boi who was soft inside and probably had a tragic backstory™ that made him act the way he did and I am a sucker for those types of characters. And I love Kyo, I really do, specially when we find out more about his struggles and past. The exclusion he felt throughout his life for being the cat, the abandonment, feeling like he had no one and was ready to die because he didn't have any source of genuine happiness (well, apart from Kazuma ya know but stillll). Then he finds Tohru, the girl he promised to protect, the one that reminded him of the woman that helped him out all those years ago and I just.... poetic cinema at its finest. Kyo and Tohru make one of my favorite couples and I love how flustered and In absolute l o v e he is with her and Kyo is great man....

2- Yuki Sohma

Nandemonaiya by RADWIMPS - “Crying even when you're happy, Smiling even when you're feeling lonely”

THIS WAS ONE OF THE HARDEST DECISIONS OF MA ENTIRE WEEB CAREER SO EXCUSE WHILE I SCREAM. Yuki Sohma won my heart and entire soul throughout the series. I liked him from the start but he wasn't my favorite favorite at the beginning you know? I thought he was isolated and thats why he didn't have much friends and he was perfect and what not but boi was I wrong and happy about it. I think one of the reasons Yuki is one of my favorite characters in fruits basket is how much I can see myself in him. Having the constant need of perfection while also wanting to connect with others but finding it hard is something I personally struggle with and every time we learned a little bit about his backstory my heart broke. Everything Yuki had to go through, the rejection, the isolation, understanding that you are loved and not a burden, falling in love with someone, finding that figure of a mother/friend he always yearned for.... The complexity of Yuki’s character is astounding and I love my rat boi so so much.... When he joins the student council, finding his little group of friends and opening up to a more carefree and true Yuki, forgiving those around him and going and eye- YuKI IS MY BABY RAT BOI AND STAN HIM OR PERISH FROM HERE ;w;

1- Momiji Sohma 

Eine Kleine by Rachie - “If I were to go through life living just to take somebody else's place, Then I would rather have been born as a pebble, living out my peaceful days “

*Clears throat* *trumpets sounds intensify* *stands on podium* I LOVE MOMIJI SOHMA WITH ALL MY HEART AND HE MUST BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTS. Thats it. Thats what I want you to get out of this post. I don't know if this is maybe an unpopular opinion-ish but Momiji’s backstory of his mother rejecting him, saying awful things, him having to accept being forgotten by his mother and sister whom he loved, not even being able to live with his family, is one of the most heartbreaking ones of fruits basket. Maybe its like what I said with Hiro and I am a sucker for big brothers that love their families, the sad smile of Momiji, my baby, angel, perfection when he sees his family and not being able to be with them, him loving Tohru but letting her go and be with Kyo because its her happiness that matters to him and I am-..... The selflessness of Momiji and how much of a sweetheart he is, his heart of gold and always being there for those around him, that moment where Akito was looking for Tohru and he got hurt trying to defend her.... Momiji is one of my all time favorite characters. He is a precious bean and I will never not shut up about my love for ma boi <333

Anyways that was long and ramble but I just needed to shout this somewhere because I've been missing they //rip

[talkingtotheapples]

Hey remember when I said I’d do a lyric analysis of northern downpour, and then didn’t do that for like 6 months? yeah here we go:

the opening line of Northern Downpour: “if all our life is but dream” really sets the tone for the song, its half quoting a children’s song; establishing the almost nursery rhyme aesthetic the has going on for large parts. The changes Ryan makes to the line also reveal important thematic elements in the song--“life is but a dream” is changed from a definitive and general statement; its no longer commenting about general reality but rather questioning all his established feelings about their relationship. He is turning to the other person and saying “is any of this real? is this all a fantasy ive built up in my head?” it feels almost as if he is Begging them to contradict him, to tell him what they have is good and Real and not just “broken glass”, that for a second looked like “diamonds”, and although theres a desperate uncertainty to how hes wording these thoughts “/if/ all our life is but a dream” “/do appear/ to be, just like broken glass /to me/“ you get a sense its less that he’s unsure and more that he has this realization and he is /Praying/ he is wrong.

The second verse seems to be the other person’s reply, but instead of addressing his thoughts and questions they turns to what seem like general criticisms of him “i cant believe that genius only comes across in storms of fable foreign tongues”, this line seems to be a dig at how he expresses himself: unorganized, wild, and hard to understand, while they insist thats this cant be the only way, they offer him this rather than, as noted before, addressing his fear that they’re relationship is nothing more than a fantasy or a dream.

The chorus seems to shift away slightly from the conversation the first to verses are detailing, the tone also switches back to the nursery rhyme that was present in the first line of the song. It’s directed to a personified version of the moon, a common theme in english nursery rhymes, it’s also reminiscent of ‘rain, rain go away’ although reversed in meaning. Overall the line is almost a prayer, begging the moon to say in the in the hope that that would freeze this moment forever, this hope adds a sense of anxiety to the whole song as if whatever happiness is held in this moment is fragile and will inevitably end with the day break. Using a child like tone gives the line an innocent edge, innocent as in ignorant rather, he’s asking for an impossible thing, wording it like a nursery rhyme or children’s song acknowledges this, asking for this night/this moment/ maybe even this entire relationship to last is as fruitless as child singing to that rain in the hope that it will bring fair weather

“Sugarcane in the easy morning/weathervanes my one and lonely”; speaks of Contrast; the first line feels to me to be about happiness and contentment: sugarcane is sweet and wonderful but also simple and natural, he also used the word ‘easy’ which i think compounds that, its a situation that is happy and beautiful but also effortless then you add the setting of the morning time which brings with it a sense of domesticality, and so the line paints a picture of a relationship or situation that is blissful and warm but natural and content also(much like a home)This is immediately contrasted with the next line; ‘weathervanes my one and lonely’ : weathervanes are an image that instantly conjure(for me anyway) ideas of isolation, they are distant from everything, they’re an object you own but have no physical contact with, this is then emphasized by the weathervane being described as lonely, Ryan, by using a possessive phrase aligns himself with the weathervane, creating the suggestion they are the same(he is also isolated and alone). Further more the choice of a weathervane suggests location as well, theyre an object rarely if ever found in the city, an object that is completely connected to farm life, as this is a song written by someone who lives in a city but travels long, long distances through the country seeing things like weathervanes would be a visual reminder that he’s a far from home as it well as being an object that is ‘lonely’ in its own right, bringing us back to the ‘one and lonely’ part, they’re joined together by their equal loneliness.

we shift back to the conversation here with a description of the of the other person talking: “through playful lips made of yarn”, Ryan has been using body imagery through out the song, and theres often been a subtle personification of the body parts, which is very true in this case. Instead of the speaker being simply described as talking the words move through their ‘playful lips’, which gives the words an edge of agency in their own right. But in this case he hasn’t just personified the lips, he’s also given them a sense of the artificial, by describing them as being made of ‘yarn’, not only is it a artificial material, it also has a strikingly different texture to lips(the line wouldnt have the same effect had he used plastic instead) the description gains a very haptic feel to it, but also alien and strange, potentially indicating his feelings towards the other person at this point.

The emotion of the verse starts shifts back to the more distraught feeling at the start of the song, the “Capricorn” is described as “fragile” and the words the came from the “playful lips” now “unravel”. As if the as the conversation progresses the other person gets more and more upset, and their speech more jumbled.

There isn’t a clear indication who or what ‘that fragile capricorn’ is, the natural inclination is that it’s the other person(presumably they are a capricorn) but its place in the verse seems to suggest otherwise— it seem to be the cause for the mood change, “/That/ fragile Capricorn /unraveled/ words like moths upon old scarves”, like it is the cause for the unraveling, I want to argue that its an outside force or situation, potentially the conversation they are currently having; tentative and hanging over their heads.

this is immediately followed by, what ryan described as the central line of p.o.: “I know the world’s a broken bone but melt your headaches call it home”, in the context of this song potentially being about a troubled relationship it could be taken to be about that specifically, a plea either to the other person or himself to keep working on the problems in their relationship, but I think its almost meant to be taken in general sense,(potentially as well) its not enough to just acknowledge the ways in which your life, or the wide world is hard and harmful and then to wallow it that pain, rather you have to then be proactive in that situation and Make It Better(which is a bit of a theme in jon’s solo music but i Digress).

the song then moves back into a repetition of the ‘sugarcane’ line, eventually interlaced with ‘hey moon’, finally the song ends on two new lines: “You are at the top of my lungs/Drawn to the ones who never yawn” and return to the body imagery that has ran through the song, “you are at the top of my lungs” has implication of someone ‘taking your breathe away’(tho its infinitely better worded that i actually feel guilty describing it as such but i dont know how else to put it). yawning is a sign of tiredness or boredom so the opposite of that invokes connotations of focus or intensity, tho i got to say im unclear as to whether that line refers to Him being “drawn to the ones who never yawn” or the other person, I default on it being the other person because of the wording but it makes more sense to me if it refers to ryan idk

basically northern downpour is a song that sits tentatively strung between the knowledge that maybe this relationship isnt the healthiest and being So in love with the other person that you almost dont care but mainly desperately want to be proved wrong, desperately begging the moon to stay in the sky so this Good moment doesnt end and you wont have to face reality by the harsh light of day

Some Notes

•this might be a a bit of a hot take idk it isnt really what i thought about the song until i thought intensly about each line for hours but once i landed on it the more i became convinced that was what the song was talking about, its still just my interpretation tho, how ever you interpretated it is just as valid u know, and if you wanna send me your thoughts about northern downpour(or any song off pretty odd lmao) please feel free! i obviously have Thoughts lmaoo

•kinda wanna write an entire piece about how northern downpour, dangrous blues and lie to the truth are basically a trilogy, kinda wanna cry

•i had to physically stop myself from writing an entire paragraph about how ‘i know the worlds a broken bone but melt your headaches call it home’ is a progression from the central ideas of fever and im real emotional about it but i managed to control myself cos it didnt really fit

[shytiff]

Mar 2021 Wins

1 - Work againn except the medical record ran out. So we went back at 12 am. Relaxeddd at home. Fasted today (still got 2 fasting debts to go). Meeting with dr dafsah dr bayushi and dr debby at 20:30. I embarrassed myself lmao,,, and what you can say as "asal bunyi". Let the overthinking and fear begin. I actually woke up 3 times during the night, lmaoo is it anxiety? Never happened to me before.

2 - we need to take care of administrations to get more medical record so we did. Wasted almost half of the day but we finally managed. Immediately fell asleep at home lmao

3 - the usual day in harkit. Asked more medical records. Planned to go to cp to see slip ons but the tj i wanted to ride went straight to kalideres so like the sane person i am of course i went back home. Timing is very222 great sometimes in life. Zoom meeting with the ever so kind dr eva. Mahmud and dela joined the assistant gang

4 - magang. Met dr eva in pediatric icu. late late evening lunch was kungpao chicken sec bowl (which i exclaimed as sweet. And then my friend said kungpao is supposed to taste like that. Huh). I was picked up after maghrib. Laid down in bed, playing my phone until 22ish and i fell asleep. Damn i shouldve slept earlier yknow

5 - magang. Ate spicy salmon onigiri from lawson for lunch. Went to btkv basecamp with mahmud since RM was a bit crowded. Not even 10 mins in, and we excused ourselves because misuh2 btkv near the computer on our table. Went to nonama in le meridien after magang with ara ness gen cal hanin amal alya. The sushi was so so (too much rice). Yay for lots of sashimi. Salmon kushiage was tasty. Salmon aburi cheesy stuff was tasty. Soba so so. Takoyaki explodes in your mouth. While waiting for mom, saw live piano performance in the lobby. Shes playing alone. I hope she knows someone out there appreciates it *oddly melancholic*

6 - slept in. Felt good. Hurriedly showered and got ready bcs i thot it was getting a bit late and turns out i arrived in halte kalideres 9:11 am lmao. Breakfast slash lunch was penyetan cok ayam. The sambal was not THAT spicy but my tongue has weakened now. Picked up some data in RM. Went to central park with my heavy ass bag to search for slip ons. Didnt find one yet. Went to kkv for the first time. Went back home and its heavy rain on the tj but dry in kalideres. Snacked on fitz cookies (its basically vegan tuffis) on the bus since i felt hungryyy. Juan bought chicken satay and when i arrived theyre all eating but i didnt feel like eating with them lmao (its been a while since i last did) so i just went upstairs, finished that fitz cookies, fell asleep in my mukena (after maghrib) and skipping isya :(

7 - didnt feel like doing anything when i woke up, but forced myself to open laptop for nemo. Played a bit of keyboard. Ate last nights satay. Rly was in a rut until i managed to shower (i last showered yesterday morning,,,) and felt a bit better. Even did night skin care and mask (which i didnt do lately)

8 - magang as usual while listening to curhat babu. I was still feeling "off" even though i was outside already. Felt a bit more normal after i had lawson's ice arabica gayo covfefe. Lunch was spicy sec bowl with extra chicken. Coffee's effect is amazing im just blown away. Like im not tired. I feel normal. I dont feel like immediately going to bed when i arrive at the house. Read and finished starving anonymous before bed. Its... A lot to take in. Especially before bed lmaoo

9 - mencret2 in the morning and i blame it on spicy sec bowl. my pace in magang is so slow why :( lunch is carbonara spaghetti from Barilla (29k with discount). It does make you feel full, and it is creamy. But the beef bacon is so few 😐 it will be more delish if it has more bacon. Picked up by mom after maghrib today. At 19:30 ish my stomach hurtedddd bcs of rising acid.its been a while since it happened. Thankfully mom bought tan ek tjoan and brownies. The ache dissipated after i finished my bread. Its so cold in the car tfff or is it my poor metabolism

10 - magang til after isya since tomorrow is a holiday. powered by lawson’s arabica gayo after lunch (good habit’s minimal-taste fried rice lol). while on the way back, kapjagiii ukmppd result announcement. alhamdulillah i passed. congratulated by some. slept late seeing people’s social media update.

11 - woke up late. didnt feel hungry, so i ate at 13:00 ish (tuna, peanut-chocolate sandwich). slept after eating. ghosted mahmuda calling me regarding after zuhur liqo. didnt pick up atikah’s calls. cant seem to talk lmao. rly rly tried to do dr dafsah’s excel this day, but cant seem to start my day. i was like “i’ll take a shower” but i didnt. “i’ll start the excel at 20:00″ i didnt. i just slept. and woke. and slept. dreamed about going to dufan with clara but we bailed since there was no promo. i practically didnt no anything today lol

12 - finally showered (that was supposedly done yesterday lmao). my pink flats broke down. i was the only one who come lmao. did dr dafsah’s excel and finished at 10. went to TA and tried popolamama’s ayce. tried chicken arabiatta (very tomato-ey taste, not a fan), pepperoni, bolognese and banana caramel with vanilla ice cream. Managed to eat 4 small pizza out of 9 flavor choices. While eating i remembered i came to celebrate passing ukmppd. so in my mind i pat myself in the back and said (not out loud) congrats for passing ukmppd. it felt bittersweet, but a nice validation. tried to search for slip ons again but didnt find one. bought a black top in uniqlo. started reading here you are

13 - lazed and lazed and jhs friends wanted to meet up but i cant even muster the courage to shower lmao. after zuhur was the meet up time but i slept at 12. lets go. come on. out. suddenly i have to build up a will to socialize just like with running. and i managed. left the house at 13:30-ish. went to ali kopi dm and got thai tea. slowly warming up my social battery. and then things felt a bit better. and we moved to flavola (got the somay). and talked we did, until suddenly its near isya. and then i had to go back bcs mom was being restrictive as usual. if it werent for that i would stay longer w atikah and pupuy. felt energized afterwards, read more of here you are and slept at 00:00 ish

14 - woke up, played some keyboard. im not prepared for another monday. Mangago is down. Unboxed my knockoff airpods that arrived couple of days ago. The sound and function was ok. Showered near the end of zuhur.

15 - magang as usual. Got out of my gloomy (felt a bit better) after going out. Lunch was ayam pedas lawson with added fried chicken. Also bought arabica gayo. Went back home before maghrib. Why must i be here while my dad talk about whatever before sholat maghrib. I hate it here. Ara and redita stayed over bcs theyre 'supposedly' going to rsut to pick up samples. Except it was cancelled and in the morning they went back to rscm,,,

16 - its only morning but i yapped abt worrying in our future to poor ekal who just sat there lmaoo. I told him how i realized im easily bored. Tried K-Chop for lunch, bought kimchi bokkeumbap, pajeon and kimchi jeon. The fried rice tasted like fried rice but with a hint of kimchi. Kimchi jeon was good and refreshing. the pajeon was basically egg with added ingredients. But it did make me feel full. Suddenly felt like singing life goes on with the keyboard.

17 - tried fitfut for lunch. Got mushroom chicken steak and katsu wrap. Their katsu is,,, simply put, tasteless. Like those HEALTHY healthy foods. The (small) chicken steak was ok. The mushroom sauce tasted good. Zoom call with dr dafsah at 12 am. More work i guess,,,

18 - fasted today. Still got 1 debt to go. Sahur was indomie, banana and protein shake. Did not feel hungry in magang but i kinda felt lightheaded. And then i cant take it anymore and went home at 2 pm. Arrived after ashar. Theres PLENTY of time to do stuff, right? Nope. I just laid in bed playing my phone til maghrib (iftar was chicken noodle) and continued until i fell asleep. My dream was absurd lmaoooo

19 - had custom salad hut for lunch. felt suuuper fult. bought pop cookies since it was the last day of grabfood’s 50% promo. was picked up after isya by mom. we talked with the resident who’s doing his thesis stuff and it turns out he’s from the same shs as mahmuda lmao. he bought kopsus and donat kampung for us, how kinddd :”) i said “mantap ni kakak kelasnya mahmud” and he said “kamu kan adek kelas saya juga”. kind seniors. i hope they have great careers and be successful and im learning to be kind from kind people. i dont know, im just easily touched by simple gestures lmaoo. first time trying tuku’s coffee. it’s smooth and creamy (like the milk and coffee unites (?)) and it doesnt separate when you leave it. its milky but has a strong coffee taste. Slept at 11 pm-ish, playing my phone

20 - lazed. saw long covid webinar. ate mom’s salmon mentai, pop cookies matcha cream cheese and dark chocolate. the dark chocolate one, especially a bit cold, taste soooo good wtf. concentrated sugar and chocolate at its finest. played some keyboard. saw youtube vids about the genius jacob collier. lent my byu phone number so ara could use it to catfish in coffee and bagel lol. bought sbux green tea and caramel macchiato 1 L for 100k + delivery fee and my bro said it tasted good

21 - tried pop cookies red velvet this time. Its super sweet yall and i thought martabak orins was the epitome of d40 bolus. did pamela reif 10 mins calorie burn that wont kill you. except i got doms WITHIN the day of work out. also attempted sun salutation and my leg is so damn stiff. did some work on sunday!!! wow!!!! (after wasting 2 weekends) finished skimming air gear lol. it still made me feel glorious. 

22 - volunteered to help vaccination at rptra planet senen w akis els yud kind. Finished at about 13:30. We got chicken noodle, nasi padang and mcd lol. Went to senen bus station. Prayed there. Called mahmud and turns out theres no new medical record so i went straight home. Ate the mcd and lazed in bed

23 - vaccine volunteer again, this time in sd 01 kramat, w regen nagit red adita. Observation table again. Except its twice the amount of pt compared to yesterday. Nebeng redita to gang IX and walked to nessa's place. Went to GI and we watched violet evergarden (tif gen ness kris indah ara). The ac in the screenX cgv theater wasnt even on. Picked up by mom at 20:30 ish so i hurried down. The movie was hilarious w indah's commentary

24 - sooo sleepy and lazy but finally went to harkit. Waiting for pak oji to get medicak records, i shopped at sociolla lol. Bought eyebrow pencil, eyeshadow palette, blush since i dont have those (i only have cheap 3 color mizzu eyeshadow). Did some work. Met kiki in RM. "planned" to do the rest of magang work at home and arrivd back at 3-ish pm but we all know thats a lie. Lazed. Maghrib. Bought sbux 1L to have some caffeine through the green tea. Sinau airway class by dr zeta (focused thanks to the caffeine). Had some "awake time" left and did not feel sleepy til 10:30ish pm but i had to sleep since i got 1 more fasting to go 2mrw. No progress on magang work aaaaa

25 - had indomie, boiled egg, banana and protein powder for sahur. magang. emir took a while to pick me up even though i already told him the time im arriving and i ended up ordering grab lmao and he showed up right before the grab. liqo w kak kartika and mahmud while sipping caramel macchiato. did some translation (job by dr triya)

26 - picked up pld medal, gown and buavita (lol) at salemba and then went to harkit. met kiki again. lunch was k-chop. quite good and fulfilling. waiting for mom to pick me up before maghrib. Was lazying around at night and it turns out clara came w kefas. She called but dumb ass me had my phone on silent. She surprised me and came all the wayyy with a little tayo cake and a line friends pillow. I was awkward w kefas bcs im awkward w new people :):):) she went back and then i cried afterwards in my room. Fianti sent me a wish before midnight (somehow havent fell asleep) and then i close my eyes and go to the dream world

27 - had mie goreng for breakfast. fell asleep again. woke to silvi and racheel calling me and as usual my phone was not ringing. there’s racil silvi devi reza outside the door lmao. they (including atikah) surprised me with gift (a bag). i asked them to come with me to gi since im gonna eat w regen. we tried yakiniku like and the meat was juicy and yum, better then kintan. racil dkk ate marugame udon just below. wanted to get banban but it was so crowded. went back by grab. racil and atikah stayed over. talked until like 12 am. forced myself to pray isya. 

28 - talked for hours like we usually do, tried some makeup bcs i need to practice for pld lol. tarik tiga to their place bcs i needed to borrow pld clothes lol. rearranged my room and i was sweating. i should’ve drank macchiato and did some work but i cant bring myself to so i just sleep. hangovers post feeling normal are never the best feeling

29 - woke up super late. cant bring myself to go to harkit. i feel like shit. sick and tired of feeling sick and tired ((quoting jhene aiko)). mustered some will to shower. rode my on bike pretending im going to harkit except im going to mcd. got big breakfast and lemon tea. went to flavola, ordered kopsus coklat and indomie + telor. Went back home after isya. 

30 - Binge watching sean and kaycee’s vids lol it all began with their leave the door open dance :). went to harkit by TJ after the redcap was unaccessible at 09:30ish. lunch was truffle belly chicken mushroom (somehow there’s 50% disc). Took some needed data and went back home at 14:20. did (new) translation for dr Triya. finally drank homemade matcha latte after a while. 

31 - originally intended to go to flavola after zuhur, but i just cant muster the strength. did dr triya’s translation work. didnt do any ecmocard today. felt like shit. ate the tayo small cake from clara. quite good and not too heavy. gladi kotor pld today. did green screen using mukena lol. fell asleep. skipped isya and the next morning’s subuh :( basically i ended march feeling like utter shit lol

[2seoke]

BEst writers?

In no particular order bcz they are all breathtakingly amazing when it comes to writing :3 ! ! ! !

HERE THEY ARE :D

@syugatae JEN IS THE CUTEST ON THIS PLANET OK I FINALLY GOT TO TALK TO HER AND IT MADE MY ENTIRE WEEK HER WRITING IS JUST INDESCRIBABLE PLZ GO READ “CHANGE YOUR MIND” YOU WONT REGRET IT EVER EVER EVER BCZ HERE I AM TODAY SCREAMING ABT HER FOR A GOOD. FUCKING. REASON. (when i swear you know its real af) NAND SHES WRITING SMTH SOON (IDK IF PPL SHOULD KNOW? IMS ORRY IM TRYING TO PROMOTE UR BEAUTIFUL EINSTEIN ASS) LMO

@war-of-hormoan OK, LISTEN UP. RAM LITERALLY DESTROYED MY BIAS LIST LMAO LADIES AND GENTLEMAN SHES. THE. REASON. HOBI. IS. MY. BIAS. WRECKER. NOW. IM NOT SHITTING ANYONE. RAM IS THE ONLY REASON HOBI IS WHERE HE IS @ TODAY (THAT BOY GIVES ME F E E L S THAT NO ONE ELSE DOES) ANYW YASYAS “ASHES’ IS THE BEST THING THAT’S EVER HAPPENED TO ME AND I DONT REGRET HOBI BEING MY BABY DID I THANK YOU YET MY LOVE BCZ HIS ASS OWNS MINE AND I CANT WAIT FOR THE UPDATE??///////?//??? (take your time tho ily)

@dailydoseofdia OMGOMGOMG OMGOGOMG OGMOGMOGM DIA. WHERE DO I EVEN START WITH YOU. THIS GIRL IS THE SWEETEST THING EVER ENGLISH AND FRENCH AS LANGUAGES COMBINED DONT HAVE ENOUGH WORDS TO DESCRIBE HOW MUCH I LOVE HER SHE SENDS ME LIL MESSAGES AND HER UPDATES AND I READ AND REBLOG EVERYTIME BCZ HER WRITING STYLE IS JUST –UGH (see what i mean i cant even explain)

@queenjunghoseok my hope. my angel. my JEN SHE WAS PART OF MY SQUAD A LOOOONG TIME AGO AND WELL I STILL LOVE HER AND I STILL READ ALL HER STUFF SECRETLY AND TELL PPL TO GO FOLLOW HER IN SECRET WITHOU- wait. did i just rat myself out… LMAO anyYWayS if anyone deserves more followers, its my baby: jen

@jungblue taytay? she’s beyond AMAZING. I’ve been following her for about a year now and her progress and intricacy is just fucking incredible at this point: THIS GIRL DESERVES- IDEK WHAT SHE DESERVES BECAUSE NOTHING IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER THE WAY SHE PLAYS WITH WORDS??? HELL? THE WAY SHE USES WORDS? THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE DOESNT USE HER, SHE USES THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE I SWEAR… PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GO read “FUTURE HEARTS” YOU DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT YOURE MISSING (TAYTAY LOVE ME)

@yoonminnings vivi? vivi is simply my vivi. Ive been through a lot with her and i literally pray for her every night thats how much she means to me… when I realized she wrote pics…. oh good lord i swear I DIDNT EAT OR SLEEP FOR A WEEK STRAIGHT BECAUSE I NEEDED TO reAD ALL THE FICS I HADNT READ YET lmao YALL DONT REALIZE HOW MUCH I HATED MYSELF THAT WEEK BUT THATS HOW GOOD SHE IS… I STOPPED MY DAILY SCHEDULES TO CTACH UP ON EVERYTHING (if that doesn’t tell you smth IDEK WHAT WILL @ this point :’)

@bangtanhmu winnie :3 she honestly makes one of the best texts in this entire goddamned website LMAO my gurl got 1k followers… in one week…. lMAO BYE SEE WHAT I MEAN HWQICGQEOGQOWV and I know she isn’t a writer but I just H A D to mention her efhiekclibILwb ilySM LOVE STAY HEALTHY DONT UPDATE TOO MUCH (its a problem rlly she loves her followers so much updates faster than lightning) 

@jungkxook ALY. ALY ALY.……… lmao all i have to say abt her is she ruined me in half…. :) (i still hate you for “arranged love” because the pain was excruciating) but other than that LIFE IS GREAT GO FOLLOWER HER BEAUTIFUL ASS (ILY BABE DONT BE MAD @ ME U KNOW HOW GOOD UR WRITING IS DONT FUKCEN DENY IT) :) NOTHING BUT SYMPATHY FOR YOU :) :0:):):))0;)):;0;):); and my BROKEN HEART :):)::):):);0):);00:):

@inktae tbh I thought she was gonna delete and I almost started crying BUT THEN SHE SAID NO AND I ALMOST THREW A PARTY LMAO BBY tbh when I’m sad mari’s blog is like the first one i always check because…. idk tbh… my fingers jus tap her url OUT OF NOWHERE :) LMAOO her guys… look… even my subconscious is telling you to follow and read her entire master list… hehe…:)::):):):):) (GOD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOURE THE BEST NEVER STOP WRITING)

@knjns my goddess, my seoul, my everything. She knows who she is, and how much she means to me, and truthfully no matter how much I write on here it’ll never ben enough to express myself. So, I’ll keep it extra short: I love you. Her writing? A whole different story. The way she manipulates words still scares me sometimes because the amount of feels I get from her fics is just -idek- astonishing. she deserves every follower and more.

@tayegi SHE HATES JEON BUT LETS BE HONEST SHE’D DIE FOR HIM. ok, now that I got that out of the way…. LU IS THE BEST :) (lmao don’t hate me) “ROOMMATE” AND “TINDER 2.0″ AND ‘IN BLOOM” AND “EQUILIBRIUM” d o you know how many times I’ve read them? think of a number. now, multiply it to the 10^9. I swear this chick aint human, her smut style is just astounding.. to a point where she gets 3k for one fic LMAO GUYS PLEASE GO SEE HER (then again who doesn’t know her/???? LOL) YOUR WRITING IS AMAZING! NEVER STOP AND TAKE YOUR TIME WITH UPDATES IF YOU EVER DECIDE TO BLESS US WITH ONE!

@hobibliophile Last but DEFINITELY NOT fucking LEAST, jules. JUJU. she has many names but her main one is “goddess of fan fiction” I swear this chick is part of the avengers or smth, not with the way she maneuvers words….. also idk her personality in her tags reminds me of Downey Jr.  and omfg I rlly hope thats not a bad thing or smth bcz I love him ANYWAYS BAKC TO JUJU!!!!!— WAIT. OMG. JUJU ON THAT BEAT. JUJU ON THAT BEAT. DID I JUST- WHT TEH FUK WHY AM I LIKE THIS……………..WQHCWBUWUW nANYWYAS tbh i came for the tags for jules, and I stayed for the talent. “Dick-stractions”?? omg I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY.. NAMJJOON…..HES MY WRCKER TOO DID YOU KNOW THAT FIC MADE HIM GO UP BCZ OF YOU? YOURE ALSO THE REASON A BOY WENT UP MY BIAS LIST……. PLEASE GO READ HER E N T I R E MASTERLIST SHE DESERVES GOD himself COMING DOWN KISSING HER CHEEK

These are the people at the top of my head and that I regularly read from, of course there are many more out there :3 plz enjoy them all theres a reason they are on this list!

[calumcest]

ok ok i see where youre going w that. at the moment it's kind of like michael wont stop talking abt the concert that's super expensive and luke is like, trying to think of the band, and trying to save money so the band will have some, and hes annoyed that michael is being Selfish tm and only thinknig short term..... idk ill see if i can figure it out. anyway if my job for this summer gets cancelled (a summer camp, so probs) then yeah id do a malum fic fest but dont expect much from me lmaoo -ao3

omg YEAH that also works u can have him flipping out as a mix of like the band needs to save money and why are you spending the bands money on things that are just for you and calum thats so selfish and i hate you but please take me with you 

oh damn i hope it doesnt get cancelled praying for u so capitalism doesnt bite u in the arse after summer is over

[shytiff]

Feb 2021 Wins

1 - osce study with clara almira, tryout 9 fkui, tryout review with clar, study sesh with clara that finished at about 10 pm. watched some youtube vids together til 11:15 pm. no longer sleepy, so i made my cv and finished it at about 3 in the morning lmao, bcs i saw this interning opportunity and i was like “damn i should make my cv”

2 - woke up at 7 am, didnt shower lmao, off to kiara for vaccination. Waited for a bit and i finally got it. ate mamdaging pesto rice with beef at kamkan w/ ren ness ara akisyah. talked at studied osce a bit. waited for mom to pick me up. until when do i need someone else to pick me up. i feel helpless and i hate that i cant just ride my motorbike because its too tiring. went back and dad got mad at me bcs i didnt greet him when leaving and entering the house. I truly didnt see him when i entered even though i heard sumn lmao. He said sumn along the lines of "you can always leave if u dont like me" (which is lowkey appealing). I cried bcs i felt sad and annoyed with our terrible emotional parent-daughter relationship. Hold the tears for a bit to study with clara. Darkened the room and slept still in my going-out clothes. I did not shower today lmao,,,,

3 - woke up at 10 am. Tryout and review w clara. Psych coaching. Psych practice with irun. Called lau and dajen bcs hes leving to medan. Randomly checked my email and my intern submission, which i emailed yesterday, that turns out the doctor replied at 8pm yesterday asking for interview today 11 am. And i saw it @ 6 pm. Aka super late. The stupidest thing ive ever done in FKUI. No cap. :( i panicked and it gave me a reason to talk with dad (asking how to reply) so i guess its a form of effort to banish the awkwardness between us. Studied w clara. I hope the doctor can forgive me. Its one loose end after the other lately.

4 - went to starbucks with atikah. got treated matcha latte yayy. cicil osce. called clara to learn imunisasi. went to kaleyo w atikah clara, ate bebek muda cabe ijo yumm. talked abt a lot of things in a span of 1-2 hours. we’re all pragmatist lmaoo. 

5 - osce briefing, DV osce practice w irun, watched run bts again lmaoo since knowing my osce schedule is thursday. read buku osce biru. 

6 - slept and lazed around til 1 pm. went to flavola since the construction was so noisy. osce simulation with UKMPPD Wibu. turns out flavola’s siomay is very fulfilling.

7 - todays construction noise escape is jco. Bought jcool double with almonds and chocolate crunchy. A bit of psych practice w aisyah. After maghrib practiced neuro w irun

8 - had no mood to study in the morning. Went to flavola, kopsusss coklat as usual. Reviewed osce materials (theres some tea about what might come out). Reviewed again at home (even tho i procrastinated from 6-9pm). Asked my bro for some ovo bcs i bought a mini keyboard in tokped lmaoooooo so random

9 - went to merra (ara and nessa’s place) but mom drove dad to the airport first. stome osce study, group consolidation for osce, tried mad bagel (the garlic cream cheese and tuna salad). the bagel was quite dense and fulfilling. the garlic cream cheese is quite heavy. arrived at home by 9 pm, went straight to sleep

10 - omg dr eva contacted me again :”) and i got the chance to be ecmocard research assistant. osce study. line call with ara. matcha latte. studied in juan’s room bcs it was so noisy. the keyboard i ordered arrived lolll cant wait to try. i dont know if its the anxiety or fear but i cant sleep and forced myself to sleep 11pm-ish

11 - osce. Went early to learn sumn more w ara tri. Osce (i forgot opv for the 5 mo old baby in peds station 😭 there was dr yogi omg) prayed zuhur and ashar in merra while waiting for pick up (i rly wish i could just bring my own vehicle but motorbike is rly tiring). Finally tried the mini keyboard, with earphones on. Practiced the song aku bukan untukmu by rossa lmao bu sihar taught us that in 33. I felt rly excited and not sleepy afterwards (that "normal" feeling with nothing looming). Its been a while since i tried something new, voluntarily. I guess its kind of what i felt when i tried the korean duolingo. That lasted for a couple months. Lets see how this keyboard thingy goes

12 - finally finished reviewing to oneshot (took ages lmao). Lazed around

13 - inten ukmppd w ness ren ara @ merraaa always. Went through 5 pdfs. Tried fastfit chicken burger and sweet potato fries. Quite fulfilling. Went back home and straight to bed (didnt eat anymore)

14 - started my day late as usual on weekdays lmaoo. flavola kopsus coklat as usual at my usual seat facing the window. did padi final tryout, score: 69. booty call with fianti, did mindset tryout, got 76,5.

15 - lazed tilll i start my day as usual @ 11-ish. Reviewed to padi final answers. Wow it sure took some damn time. My attention span is rly horrible when im alone in my room

16 - second dose of vaccine today. the rain was POURING. mom and emir waited in mcd. read half of aipki citation. 

17 - finished aipki citation, read CBT 2020 batch I and 2019 batch III questions. read a fantastic slow burn dramione fic. reviewed the last to solid.

18 - accompanied clara for swab antigen near airport train station (we came with motorbike since clara’s car was used). got called over by the police bcs we were in the car-only road lmaooo. went over optima tryout 2021. 

19 - cicil ukmppd at flavola with the usual menu, read some more afterwards

20 - ended up going to tamel bcs the flood in tb simatupang toll. Stayed w nessa and henny. Ate garlic carbonara spaghetti by bittersweet najla. Quite good for the price. Went over mediko questions with nessa and first session citation. Atikah sent some krispy kreme donuts 🥺🥺

21 - woke up at 4 bcs henny and nessa already did. Ate cold kanayam for bfast. Did ukmppd. I flagged quite a lot of questions huaa. I hope i can pass, aamiin. Went to tamel to get stuff (nebeng oca uye), climbed jembor to get to akis et al. Went to aeon (super crowded tffff), followed by ikea (parked at decathlon). Ate at both places (shared portion w kris lmaoo we get full quick). Aeon sushi and ikea meatball. So fulll. Went out of ikea to be briefed by dr Debby (ecmocard) and put my stuff to mom's car. Went in ikea again. And finally we went back. such a good sleep yall

22 - relaxed and i mean RELAXXXED. woke up and slept again. showered to prepare to go to harkit for intern briefing. i was late (thanks daan mogot road) and had to grabbike from untar. put on some sheet mask (natrep rose) bcs im realizing i need to fix my face and look decent for this new environment lmaoo.

23 - left home at 7 am, went through highway (i aint repeating daan mogot tragedy again). walked a bit backwards bcs the hightway exit was infront of dharmais. super slow progress on entering medical datas. took half a day to get one. and another half for the other. ate marugame udon, somay, chicken katsu and otak otak. we finished after maghrib and im writing this while waiting for mom

24 -  tried salted egg dori rice from salt inc. its quite salty and eneg inducing (a bit more than eatlah), but for the price (19k after cashback) i wont complain. Went back home before maghrib but there was still some medical record stuff i did in my room.

25 - magang as usual. Tried chicken egg salad from salad hut. Bought ice french hazelnut coffee from lawson coz i just cant take it anymore (the slump and sleepyness). I feel like the moment that sugary beverage enters my system i rise like a freshly watered plant. First meeting with dr eva and the others

26 - felt so tired even in the morning. Its 9 am and im already ordering janjiw coffee (with hazelnut and milo, quite sweet. Like a mix of kopiko and milo). Slow progress today i dunno why. Lunch is nayam rica2 and egg for 21k. Went back home by tj and mom picked me at gajah 2

27 - i hate to say this but bcs for 5 days now ive been fighting sleeping instincts, i snap out of sleepiness easier in the morning. Nasi uduk for brekkie. Moved some stuff up bcs the noise, played keyboard. Learned the (difficult) chords to tyler's see you again and im feeling satisfied. Went to racheel's place. Got fed chicken noodle. And then off to silvi's with devi also. Got fed chicken rice and dimsum. Thanks to friends im eating superwell today🥺

28 - relaxed at home. Skipped breakfast bcs i fell asleep and ate heartily in the afternoon. Evening run w racheel at citra 6