#praying the original ask doesn't pop up on my dash after this lol

[outrunningthedark]

I had a nonnie in my inbox who asked me to expand my thoughts on the sperm donor arc and when I tried to post I got an error, so here is the answer without exact context, ugh:

I'm glad you brought this up because it's giving me a chance to express my thoughts more...calmly, as opposed to the *screaming into the void* moment I had yesterday. I, personally, am not a fan of what the show has done to Buck's character since season four. To me, it feels like the intention was to go one way with his story (the therapy arc, maybe revisit things with the parents in s5 to officially move on to the next phase), but then...problems? unforeseen circumstances? changed it up. I mean...think about it. We get this "huge" Buck backstory, he realizes he needs to start learning about his past/accepting it, and then...two episodes later...here comes his former hookup who causes nothing but drama and she's not just a blip on the radar again. They're bringing her back to be part of the cast in s5. If you want my opinion (and this is not a slight on any actors because it is what it is), once it was realized that Jennifer was pregnant and she would have to be written out, and then the question turned to what to do with Chimney... Buck in healing mode didn't mesh with how the audience would expect him to react to Madney "leaving", so...why not let him self-destruct even more! The show abandoned the therapy arc. That's the part people are ignoring. That's the part that makes their arguments about "healing not being linear" irrelevant. There was no hint at healing beyond those two conversations (the end of 4x05 and beginning of 4x06). Shit happened and the show changed course. Very quickly. Skipping ahead to the sperm donor storyline...Well. I would argue that it narratively doesn't make *total* sense when we left off 5x18 with Buck finally doing something for himself by breaking up with TayKay. Maybe if it was TayKay who cut ties, we could more easily accept him still not being willing to listen to that voice inside that knows he's doing the wrong thing(s). Also, now that we know "radical acceptance" isn't supposed to be explained the way Buck explained it (they should have just stuck with "saying yes to possibilities")...I'm annoyed that his behavior is the antithesis of radical acceptance and looking at the show like "you just threw fancy words out there hoping people would call you genius, huh?" (Sad to say it worked.) It makes the fandom look dumb af, too, "He's saying yes without thinking! He's bound to backslide!" He's...he's not performing radical acceptance until he STOPS falling into old habits, actually. It's now a conversation that could have been avoided if they didn't use THAT exact term. 🤦‍♀️ (It's like someone decided they should use a word other than 'open-minded' or even 'automatic' and chose radical without considering it's a real phrase with a completely different connotation.) I'm not a fan of the sperm donor arc, I've made no secret of that. The timing of it (to me) seems like a way to appease the people who want to think of him as a father (because Chris isn't biologically his and therefore it doesn't count 🙃) since it's probably gonna be awhile until he has a bio kid of his own, if ever. But. I was trying to stay optimistic. "Well, surely, this is not gonna work out and he's gonna have a moment where he realizes his purpose is to build/be a family with Eddie and Chris." And by "not work out" I mean he gets rejected or the attempts aren't successful. *That* would have been my preferred scenario - he makes a rash decision, but backs out before it's too late because he's finally like "Wtf am I doing? This isn't gonna make me happy." *That* would have fit with him putting himself first. *That* would have been a way to expand on the growth we saw a glimpse of in 5x18. Now...there might be a baby? (Still allowing a 1% chance that it ends up being Connor's baby after all...) And as long as there's a baby, people aren't going to let it go. "Is Buck gonna have to save his bio kid when they get sick???" "Will Connor and Kameron die to bring up a new trauma for Buck???" "Are we gonna get Big Man, Tiny Baby because he gets to be a friend to the family???" And the thing is...I can't blame people for going there with it. As long as there is a (hypothetical) child in the story, the show could bring them up at any time. To some in the fandom, Buck should be capable of walking away peacefully from this situation he's found himself in, but the fandom is not in the writers' room. If the show doesn't have any "better" ideas, if the show needs easy drama...Buck's attitude could change on a dime. The saving grace is that this storyline is happening now when (I highly doubt) we'll get to a season where the child is old enough to want to get to know their dad. Because you know that would happen.