#puppydoll’s poetry

[doelet444]

skipping through dry grass against blue skies, dying trees and snow dusted early-spring sidewalks

muddy socks and scraped knees beneath my tattered eyelid sundress, it’s strapped shoulders fallen and loose threads hanging

never ending faded grey roads that i sit by, peeling off hot tar from the cement until my fingers were stained

i pull dirty satin ribbons from my hair and wipe the dried mascara from my rosy cheeks once i determined you’d never come for me

the playfulness fades from my eyes, resentment hangs against my heart til my spirit descends

put my lipstick back on and walk home barefoot, carrying my mary jane heels with my toes were covered in blisters

[doelet444]

sheer white tights and pink bobby socks with bows

my pinup dress embroidered with lace rose

silk ribbons in my hair and my pink sparkled nose

tie on my boots to go out in the snow

i’m going someplace that nobody knows

[doelet444]

i would like to be a soft tender-hearted doll, holding delicate fingers ‘round your chest; run motorcycle run. resting in the backyard, dreams fly over me like fog, i prefer to stay in my little sleep-world til flowers grow out of my brain. wrap my tiresome body in cream silk and velvet, grenade between pink blistered palms. i promised not to go, so i might want to run away. i’m scared, i’m scared, i’m so afraid. just let me go, i cannot be saved.

[doelet444]

pin-up girls carry cola and satin pink roses rioting for love

they store candy hearts in their purses to share freely to those who’re precious as doves

and through longest of days they still hold on tight

they come home to gifts of red berries and sweet teddy bears sent from above

[doelet444]

i want to sit in a tree swing and watch humming birds flutter ’round pink rose bushes as i press the toes of my saddle shoes into the soft, warm, dewy grass . . . followed by a session of petting fluffy kitties who prance through the garden on their pink toes.

[doelet444]

𝑜ℎ 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑙𝑒 𝑙𝑎𝑚𝑏, 𝑖𝑡’𝑠 𝑎𝑙𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑎𝑦 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑠𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑑

𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑝𝑢𝑡 𝑜𝑛 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑏𝑙𝑢𝑠ℎ, 𝑦𝑜𝑢’𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑒 𝑜𝑘𝑎𝑦

𝑜ℎ 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑙𝑒 𝑙𝑎𝑚𝑏, 𝑛𝑜 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑒𝑙𝑠𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑑

𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑑𝑎𝑦 𝑦𝑜𝑢’𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑘𝑓𝑢𝑙 𝑓𝑜𝑟 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑒𝑑

[doelet444]

days into a deep red dream

the sounds of shots fired and screams still pierce my ears

let a girl live, eat up your fears my love

i won’t stop you so why do you proceed to haunt the fawns ‘til their limits are far beyond met?

we’re dazed in our beds with our heads hanging low as rotting fruit stepped on and eaten by the ravens now resting on satin blue pillows to reconcile with our own self justice

that’s something i never had nor cared for but why?

i’ll never dare let another one be scraped past their gentle with your relentless jumping blades with no goal but sadistic pleasure

you’ve sold your soul to spit in our quiet yet raging eyes without consequence nor consent, now incomplete

you hunt after us

i won’t blame you for wanting fresh meat but least have some self respect if you’ve allowed yourself the entitlement to tear apart every baby doll you seek

[doelet444]

my deer prince

covered in rose thorns, surrounded by lambs

drowning in solemnity

minced by bullets

laid to rest for a lack of serenity

eyes like glass from teardrops

braids followed by ribbons

torn and blackened wings from thrown rocks

validating all my fear and indecision

[doelet444]

bullets like hard candy stuck on my tongue

led poisons my brain, it’s so very fun

red noses lead to bloodstains on roses

i’m trying my fullest to start over again

lamb to lion from lion to lamb

still both do scatter with mother earth we are one

she chose to be free with the flowers and sea

decomposes and floats to the next sunshine shorelines we seek

what a freak!

[doelet444]

wishes and dreams exploding like a thousand doves into the cosmic sky, wavering like sparkling lakes of hecate’s light

enlisting my soul to the waiting list for joviality and peace, only to be received when asking for death through my teeth

may it be through necromancy i’d meet true substance or a sweet spirit friend

i used to think it was a frightening endeavor, going all the way to the end

though with quantum forces and glimmering energies divine, he told me - he told me, sleep is just fine

i thought i knew what i wanted, that nobody could ever change my mind

but like hypnos said

we all will soon fly

[doelet444]

sitting in the ring of tricksters and thieves

we love them like the moon

they treat us with reprieve

flickering light, small and light like fluttering flies stuck in cherry pie

you can’t deny they say faeries are shy, however loss of blood’s their best spell of sly

if sugar can’t go without spice then oh darling, what the hell am i?

[doelet444]

“there’s a world you’re living in, no one else has your part”

similarities will by no means be copies of another

though we all begin the same; small and harmless

these tender, pure-hearted lambs, they see you as their entire world

eyes gleaming with wonder and unfiltered trust

these foals follow you because you’re all they know

these ducklings so frail, easily swallowed up by god knows what

these kids who own nothing but memories of this afternoon’s session of hop scotch and lollipops

these kittens who tremble and cry at the slightest or sound of a top notch crack of a fallen jar of preserved cherries

now lost, supposedly unusable

kits who thump at the ground to warn others when fuzzy green hills suddenly begin to crumble

fawns who stumble at every mis-step

crackled static in their little heads, only allowed to repeat truth as a slow and simple fictional melody

susceptible beings in in never ending backrooms of florescent ignite

expected to find some sort of godly reason to cite

what part do they embark besides sitting pretty, purring in laps, sweet and collected

from a lap dog to a full-fledged red ripes

never taught the unattainable foreign concept of strength

wanting to be loved and cherished but still lost in patterns of naivety

that’s all they expect of us yet never shown how to feel safe on our own

still a wounded puppy inside a full-sized but deformed heart

beating irregularly, burned by the slick slap of sun and oven heat, when all we wanted were cookies on our heart shaped platters

dusted with leftover powdered sugar and grease

go on, find your way in this sick world with a smile plastered across your sweet face

but if you get your slipper caught in a gutter of grimy hands and sharp teeth

don’t worry, not a soul will cease to tell you “i told you so”

[doelet444]

fed up. cake shoved in my mouth until my throat is sore

lavender and bubblegum pink frosting stains my teeth and tastes of rusting copper pennies

dusting my tastebuds and scraping my gums ‘til skin’s inflamed with red blisters and purple clumping scabs

layer after layer i build up a tolerance

until i find someone who makes me soft again

who butters me up and sugars my conscious with sweet nothings and rotting sentimental shit stains on all my liquid satin dresses

their ribbons knotted up and frazzled

seams shredded til skin is bare once more

i feel like a cloud for the fifth time this year, feathers no longer matted

formally seeping blood is finally parched and crusted across my wings

flaking off along with memories and cares as the seasons pass by

my ruthless thoughts build up once again, leaving the raw steak on my plate bubbling up and spurting out all the recovery i’d seemed to achieve in times past

and i’m always led back to this

these mischievous faeries conspiring to convince me of ending advances

leaving me with nothing to want or wish for, nothing to give, nothing to pray for, nobody to please or care for or watch over me

i’m a lamb, legs wobbling without a nuance of knowing that she’s being relentlessly preyed upon

never to be spooked, nor frightened as she’s the one running out of time to smell the gardens baby’s breath, rose and vanilla orchids before the powder blue sky descends into obsidian black.