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gukseuphoria · 5 years

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a response to fluffyjhs

Alternative title - Exposing Luna: A Receipt-Filled Thread

Disclaimer 1: I didn’t want to do this, I never wanted to make this a public affair but she has been harassing my friends and I’m DONE, officially. She’s been self-victimizing for months and obsessing and stalking my friend and I’m not having it. And now she’s “exposed” us on tumblr. Enough is enough.

Disclaimer 2: obviously, for my friends’ safety, I will be censoring the names and handles of those who do not want to be mentioned, but who still wanted their part of the story to be included. But y’all can come at me all you want.

I’ll put this under a cut to save peoples’ dashes, but PLEASE read it if you are in ANY WAY involved with Alice/fluffyjhs. Thank you.

So.

Our group of friends knew her as “Luna”, but she’s known currently as Alice, and her current blog handle is “fluffyjhs”. Just because I personally knew her during her time as Luna, I’m going to address her as so, although I doubt it is her real name.

Luna joined our network I think in mid-October 2018 along with a wave of other new members. At first, everything seemed relatively normal: she talked with other members and made friends. It should be known that one of the members of the network - Phi, @guksdimple - was taking time off of the chat for personal reasons.

The first thing that weirded me out was that Luna was acting as if she knew Phi personally. I didn’t think too much of it, I figured they were mutuals. I’m personally close with Phi and so I asked her if she wanted me to say hi to Luna for her. She then told me that she didn’t follow Luna before nor did she know her until now. (I know this sounds random but it will be important for later points.)

Minor issue. Amongst her other habits, it was weird, but not too off-putting.

(Other habits include: leaving the chat randomly only to ask to join back a little later; jumping into any conversation Hoseok-related in a retrospectively possessive manner; whining when one of her messages was ignored (in a very busy, approximately 30-person group chat).)

Luna didn’t start truly off-putting members until another member - whom I will call Chloe - came to the admins of the network (Phi, Bri @starjeon and I) to confess that she felt ignored and even looked down upon by Luna. Chloe and Luna had made contact before being members of the network and it was awkward to say the least. Chloe wanted to be friends with Luna but Luna was very cold with her. Regardless, Chloe tried to be friendly with Luna until it was obvious that it would not be reciprocated.

Here are some screenshots of conversation snippets between Chloe and Luna. While not directly rude, you can see the passive-aggressiveness present. (sorry for the weird format. Blame Chloe, dsibfsf)

(in case you can’t read it: “you really have a lot of love to show right? lol”)

(Chloe only sent 3 pictures and Luna asked her not to “spam”, despite sending MULTIPLE messages at a time in the past herself)

Until then, the admins had decided to simply keep an eye on the situation to avoid drama, as while it seemed passive-aggressive, there was no proof of her intentions, and Chloe agreed. However, this all changed when Chloe received an anon message.

I could go into a deep analysis as to how we concluded that this message was from Luna - typing habits, mostly (notice the over-excessive use of commas and run-on sentences) - but the biggest proof is possibly this message she sent before leaving the network chat, suspiciously around the same time the ask was sent.

Now I’m no detective, but these are the things Luna and this “anon” have in common: 1) the excessive comma use and run on sentences 2) calling Chloe an attention-seeker 3) the ask also parallels Luna’s earlier behaviour about her self-given superiority about being an ARMY for 4 years (”everyone saw the things you keep droping aren’t like everyone is new to the fandom”) - as opposed to Chloe’s 2 months and 4) commenting on Chloe’s eagerness and cheery attitude.

After Luna left - of her own volition and out of annoyance towards Chloe - us network admins felt the need to inform the other members on the situation because of the ask. Following this, many members soft blocked/unfollowed Luna because of this.

Luna noticed this really quickly and immediately dm’d almost every. single. member. that unfollowed her. Here are just two for length’s sake, but many members received similar messages.

This, of course, sparked a minor panic within the network. It’s like Luna was waiting for the fallout to happen, keeping an eye on her mutual status with the members of the network.

And so, as a mod of the network - and to spare Phi the drama considering her own issues - I decided to confront her on behalf of everyone. (As you can see, I’m doing the same thing now, lol.) I’ll include the most interesting parts of my own conversation with Luna. I’m known for being aggressive-aggressive when it comes to defending and protecting my friends, and it shows here. (The contact name is “(Unknown)” because Luna blocked me at the end of this conversation and eventually deleted this kkt id)

Following my conversation with her - which, as you can see, has NO MENTION of Chloe - Chloe receives messages from Luna. NO ONE has told Luna that Chloe was the one who received hate mail, or that Chloe was the one who felt harassed by her.

It’s with these messages that, in my point of view, Luna traps herself. She proves that she sent the ask and that she was PURPOSEFULLY being passive aggressive to Chloe. With that, she was officially banned from the network, and many members of the network blocked her as a precaution to avoid being harassed by her for “answers”.

It should be said that NONE of the members sent hate to, or bullied Luna. The closest thing that could be considered hate were MY messages confronting her and calling her out. She’s claiming we were bullying her but really we just unfollowed her. That’s the worst any other member had done.

Chloe was also in another network with Luna, and so Phi decided to contact the admin of this network simply to warn her that trouble might surface between those two and offered a few screenshots as context. (Chloe later left the other network because she couldn’t handle seeing Luna acting all friendly with others in there, in fear that she would use them to turn on her.)

With that, we thought that the situation was finished.

However, it wasn’t.

Luna continued to send messages to Phi overtime even AFTER she was kicked from the network. This is where my earlier passage about her weird “friendship” with Phi comes in.

Luna persistently tried to form a friendship with Phi despite Phi not really engaging with her. Phi, who was already going through personal issues at the time, did not wish to confront Luna and deal with her drama, and instead tried to slowly separate herself from her. When Luna came to her about having a panic attack, all Phi told her was to “breathe”. Not long after, Phi received these “anonymous” messages (note, once again, the comma usage).

Small occurrences continued like this, and Phi continued to ignore or give very little response to them.

However, Phi changed her mind about her separation technique when Luna sent a vaguely aggressive message about Phi’s friendship choices - essentially, shading the fact that Phi was still friends with Chloe.

I can’t find a screenshot of Phi’s response, but it went along the sentiment of “I’m friends with who I want, and if you can’t handle that, that’s your problem.” It was very dry and to the point, but in no way aggressive. She made her point: she wanted Luna to leave her alone.

With that, Phi thought the situation would be over. However, Luna still tagged her in posts, sent her loving messages that Phi didn’t particularly respond to, and overall stalked her, essentially.

The last straw was when Phi received an anon about not replying to mutuals. Due to, once again, typing habits (and her overall obsession with Phi replying to her), Phi guessed it might be Luna.

And so, after answering it, Phi decided to block that anon.

Not so surprisingly, Phi was right. It is around that time that Luna remade her blog, with the excuse that it was bugging out.

Not too long after, she sent this to Phi:

It should be noted that “some things I saw” were, in fact, Phi interacting with Chloe on her blog and tagging her in posts. It should also be noted that Luna is thanking Phi for essentially just, telling her to breathe and calm down. That’s it.

After that (which happened in November 2018), Luna did not do much, nor did she directly engage with Phi. Luna started going by Winter (and many other names). With that, we thought it was over. She moved blogs and was leaving us alone. She needed a fresh start, and we could respect that.

Of course, the admins - especially me - kept an eye on her to make sure she wouldn’t start drama or confront Chloe again (who was, and still is, emotionally distraught from Luna’s behaviour), but everything was fine. comfyhobi went through many changes and eventually became fluffyjhs, and she eventually took the name Alice. We still knew she was Luna, but nothing dramatic had happened.

We did NOT engage with her. We did NOT send her hate. We did NOT make an expose post despite all she had already done. We let her live on her blog, and I simply kept an eye on her to make sure she wouldn’t name drop us and start drama on Tumblr.

We thought we were finally in the clear, that Luna had moved on and that Phi and Chloe were safe from her harassment.

Until she came back a few weeks ago, in February 2019. She tried tagging Phi in posts again, acting like she didn’t know her and that she was a different person. And not long after, she tried applying to the network again under the name Alice and with her new blog.

One of the admins (Bri) confronted her, reminding her that she was banned from the network, but she completely denied being Luna. However, she still had the same typing habits, and we had made sure to track her well.

Some things to note: 1) tinyjhs is one of Luna’s old URLs and did eventually “deactivate”. 2) Bri never mentioned that she deactivated, simply that she was blocked from the network, yet Luna mentioned it herself. 3) the “5 year hiatus” line is exactly the same as her comments when she originally joined the network, how she had not been active on the internet in over, I think 4 years? (Sadly, I don’t have receipts for that, I didn’t think it would ever be relevant, we’re talking about 4 months ago and I can’t find them, but it is an interesting parallel). 4) she’s awfully compassionate and insightful of the feelings of someone that we accused of causing drama.

Anyways, as you can see, she threw a temper tantrum and blocked the network blog from communicating with her. With that, we hoped it was finally done. She tried to get back in, and she failed. She knew that we knew she was Luna.

But, this brings us to Luna’s open letter on her own blog a few days later.

The original post was made yesterday, WITHOUT our blogs’ URLs in the tags. After deliberating between admins, we decided not to engage and to let her have her drama, as no one was explicitly mentioned (yet), and we desperately wanted it to be over. We figured that maybe she would finally stop after maybe getting some attention from some of her mutuals, or that she would truly leave tumblr for good. (Clearly, we haven’t learned.) We didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of replying to her attack.

So why, you might ask, am I replying to it now?

TWO THINGS.

First. Because of this ask Phi received.

Second. Because she finally mentioned us directly.

Luna finally mentioned us directly, publicly on Tumblr, a place where we never wanted to take this argument. All the aspects of her post PROVE that she is not “Jacqueline” as she claimed a few days ago, but VERY CLEARLY Luna. She did this in hopes of getting other people involved, to hate on us, to ruin Phi’s reputation especially, I assume. Most of all, she did this to get the attention from Phi she so desperately wanted, and the sympathy of others along the way.

We didn’t want to “expose” her. We didn’t want to make this drama bigger than it already is. But she chose to do that herself.

And so that gives me, in my opinion, the justification to finally post this response and expose thread.

This has gone far enough. Luna is manipulative, toxic and downright psychotic. She’s obsessive, with the situation, with the network, and with Phi. She thinks she’s clever enough to move blogs and rename herself in order to sneak back into the network and do god knows what. And when we don’t give her what she wants, she brings up her many private mental illnesses, blaming us for her tw// suicidal thoughts and self harm, when we have done NOTHING but try to end this situation since November 2018. It’s February 2019, and she keeps coming back.

I have a theory that Luna desperately needs attention, which is why she kisses up to so many “big blogs” in order to try and befriend them and become a big blog herself. Many of her posts, as well as her attitude towards Phi - and towards Phi ONLY (the “biggest” blog of the network) out of all of the members of the network - seem to hint towards that. Her obsession with being rejected from the network and her neediness for every single of her messages to be acknowledged also indicate this.

REGARDLESS, while this is a post to inform the general public of the fandom (and to hopefully clear our names from her drama), it is also a callout post to Luna SPECIFICALLY.

Leave Phi alone. Leave ‘Chloe’ alone. Leave ALL OF US alone. We’re no longer tolerating your bat-shit crazy attempt at getting attention from us. We’re done.

EDIT: since Phi wrote her quick response while I was writing out this post - which you can find here - she has received many messages from people who have undergone similar treatment from Luna. Here’s a screenshot we’ve been permitted to use:

Our network is not alone. I now realize that maybe my fear of bringing this onto Tumblr has brought pain and drama to OTHER people that Luna has tried to “befriend” and eventually cause drama with. I’m sorry. I hope that you all can find relief in this thread, to know that you guys aren’t alone, too.

#things for ts #*fluffyjhs #please read it if you are in any way related to her #whether it be as co-members of a network #or as mutuals #etc

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unitx-record · 3 years

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Reflective Questions

Which part of Unit X have you found the most useful? Why? How? So what? I found the in-person sessions with my group to be the times when we've worked most effectively; we did more work on average in the two hours in the same room when in two days over messenger and teams. I found this interesting as we have all had to get used to communicating digitally over the last year, but it doesn't come close to physical proximity in terms of efficient and effective communication and planning.

Which part of Unit X has been the least interesting? Why? Have you learned anything from that? About yourself? About others? About how you like to learn? Personally, I found the working from failure workshop to be the least useful. I have spent a long time in counselling assessing and working through my own issues surrounding failure and perfectionism, and this workshop attempted to teach me methods which differed greatly from the hard work I've done to overcome my issues and thereby triggered some anxiety I have around perfectionism and performance in school and university. Despite this, I did come away knowing more about myself, specifically about how I prefer to keep personal growth and the things I learn in counselling separate from the classroom.

What were some of your most challenging moments and what made them so? One of the most challenging things I had to do was in the organisation of the virtual screening room. Unfortunately, we didn't manage to get a budget approved in time, but I am still proud of the work I did in attempting to organise a film festival. Furthermore, I can use these skills and gained knowledge in the future, whether we end up putting on the festival in the summer, or I end up working in cinema and film programming.

What is the most important thing you learned personally? The most important skill I developed through this process was organisation and time management. As a filmmaker, I normally focus on directing and sound design and leave production and management to someone else in my crew. I believe that, now, I have the beginnings of the organisational skills needed to run a film set, which I hope will serve me well in the future.

What will you take forward after Unit X ends? Why? How will you apply your learning? Why? I think that the biggest thing I will take forward is my knowledge of my own skills and abilities. Because the unit focussed on creativity and wellbeing, I made sure to assess and acknowledge my own wellbeing throughout, and, in the process, learned how I can throw myself into a task I wouldn't think I could do, such as organizing a film festival. In addition, I learned to trust my own ideas more, as I didn't have confidence in the idea of a film festival, but I ended up combining it with another person in the group and it became the project that half the group ended up working towards.

What caused you the most effort during Unit X? Why? Did it differ from your usual practice? How? Have you taken anything from that? The most effort definitely came from the collaborative process. Normally on my course, I am working with a maximum of four other people, so collaboration on this scale was very overwhelming to me and left me with a lot of new skills in terms of working as part of a team and leading one.

Has your expected outcome of Unit X differed from your expectations? How? Why? I'm not sure what I was expecting coming into this process as the description of the unit was purposefully vague to encourage creative thinking and expression. I expected I would make a short film or documentary and write an essay explaining my process, as that is what I'm used to. In actuality, I co-founded a festival and planned an entire film festival, taking films from small creators and organizing a group watch of an important piece of LGBT+ cinema, despite the fact that the festival couldn't be fully executed in the end.

When did collaborative communications fall short of the expectations? How? Why? What did you do to overcome it? Collaborative communication was definitely difficult throughout the process due to the restrictions put in place by the pandemic. We overcame this by opening multiple lines of communication through messenger, teams, and email, as well as meeting once a week in person for strategy and planning sessions.

What most got in the way of your progress? Why? How? The biggest thing that affected our progress was the time limit. Many of us had other projects to complete and, with the deadline quickly approaching, started rushing leading to decreased quality in work and artists feeling rushed or pressured. It was because of this that we decided to postpone the festival until we have the submission and time to create an event we are all proud of.

How have you collaborated on Unit X? What has been your experience of collaboration? How has it made you feel? Why? I have collaborated heavily on this unit from the outset. We met for the first time in the second week of the Unit and decided to work together on the festival almost immediately. We delegated tasks to each other and created resources for each other to use. For example, Ana created a sheet of useful graphics for marketing including fonts and HTML codes, which I used to create the FilmFreeway page to encourage film submissions. The fact that the majority of the team has been so supportive of each other and collaborated so effectively has definitely made me feel positive towards collaboration in the future, as I have had bad experiences in the past with poor communication and not respecting each other's creative visions for projects.

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archivesdiveronarpg · 7 years

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Congratulations, LIA! You’ve been accepted for the role of CLEOPATRA. It’s extremely rare for an applicant to convince me they’re the right person for the role before I even get to their in-character writing, but Lia, you did just that. You made it abundantly clear from the beginning just how well you understand Calina, and because she’s a rather hard character to nail down, it was so refreshing to read. Your interview and sample were lovely, but what really sealed the deal was the drabble you posted on your mockblog; it was short and sweet, but it packed quite a punch in terms of characterization, and I loved it. I trust you’ll do our Queen of Spades justice. Welcome to DiVerona! Your request to change her faceclaim to Aisha Hart has also been accepted. Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within twenty-four hours.

WELCOME TO THE MOB.

Out of Character

Alias | Lia

Age | 21+

Preferred Pronouns | she/her they/them

Activity Level | 8-10/10 I can usually be around every day. ATM I’m slightly busier than usual since I’m the most mobile person available (my parents both just had hip replacements) but that should be easing off within the next couple of weeks.

Timezone | GMT

In Character

Character | Cleopatra, Calina Sokolova. FCwise Aiysha Hart (or any actor fc of your preference tbh? the only reason I’m requesting an FC change is my discomfort with fcs who aren’t known for playing characters, so apologies for that)

What drew you to this character? | Well, first of all I’ll have to mention what drew me to the roleplay (as though this is a legacy interview and you’ve instead asked about my six ex-husbands). Since fruition I have been lurking diverona, with every intention to apply. I have watched my favourite potentials be claimed by much more talented and capable writers- and it has brought a lot of strange feeling; obvious annoyance that I couldn’t apply at the time, and ridiculous gratitude that I’d get to see them all come to life in such a beautiful setting. I’ve vaguely mentioned the reasons in my Activity Level section, but suffice to say it was always beyond my control to apply here before now. I could have, but never would have been able to guarantee activity or dedicate myself in the way this roleplay and all of the members deserve. At the very beginning of my rp experience, I adminned and was member of an rp where we only wrote lengthy paras, but there were merely a handful of us for a core group of two plus years, meaning not a lot of major plots or developments were able to happen. Imagine my delight to find an rp with similar essence and many more characters for lives to be tangled in. Diverona is an Oasis. And so my longing had settled soundly on Cleopatra. Unfortunately the timing still wasn’t optimum, and once again I pressed my nose to glass and stared in. It feels almost fated, to my mind, that she is available for application. For whether I am accepted or not, this is an opportunity I have been granted. (Also s/o to Minnie for encouraging me to take it)

As for the actual question, I will have to admit that it has been a long time since I have written anyone who could be considered with heart tainted to the evils of the world, to desperation, like Cleopatra has experienced. My characters of choice seem to, these days, always be the innocents and the gold of heart. Calina is one of those, and still she is not. She has layers and layers of memories and identities and vulnerabilities all hidden behind the titanium of her mind. Her heart is gentle but fierce, fluttering as a hummingbird in her chest at the idea she could return to that vision of bright star in someone’s life- as she was for her mother. And yet her ribs have caged it in very purposefully, her skeleton demanded to action (as a more brutal ally) by that cunning mind. She is both a mess of contradictions, and not. A contradiction in itself. There is softness to the way she appears, relief in her freedom, but only hardness renders her as survivor, commander. Even in her role as advisor she must be both strong, steadfast in the face of changeable tides, and delicate, willing to accept when her course of action can not continue, withdraw from conflict herself. There is no room for anything but brain. Her blood may call out for anything it desires, that which stems from the heart or the throat; revenge, violence, acceptance, union; none of it finds sanctuary in her plans for Faron, for the Spades. She is indifferent to her own motivations, dedicated to their cause. She is not heartless, and truly those who claim to be are always the ones who fail, they have underestimated their enemy their ally. Her heart is of use because it has been targeted time and time again by sorrow, and she has melded it for better use- it is not untouchable, but it is proof of her ability to rise triumphant (heart bruised but beating) from the remains of the beasts that would try to tear it apart. She knows better than most that subtle, gentle things (creeping illness and whispers of doubt) can tear your world apart instead.

To me she is incredibly multi-faceted, with room for every version of her to take centre stage at some point- to be given credence. And what more could be asked of a character, a person, but to allow opportunity to get to know them for their strengths and their weaknesses- even if hers are gripped tight in hand and revealed with a flourish, settled before her enemies as though a ruse. Try if you dare.

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character? |

[Paradise Circus] This is such a basic thing, but I just can’t wait to see Calina’s interactions with everyone. I’ve mentioned that she’s very detached and logical in her plans, so I could absolutely see her able to maintain relationships with people she would willingly sacrifice. It’s just war. They may be on opposite sides, but that does not need to permeate their very beings in such visible ways as spite or ignorance. It will be a real test to see if she is able to befriend someone or develop some sort of feeling about them, before removing herself from the thought of it completely when the success of the Spades deems it necessary.

[Dirty Whirl] When browsing the locations page I have wondered time and time again on what her thoughts are on The Dark Lady. I’d really appreciate being able to explore whether it’s an uneasy reminder of her past, or how she feels about the treatment of employees there, even if she would return to her old career if it were to benefit some plan. If that is the one limit she would set in her loyalty to their cause.

[Lift the Curse] ‘Brutal and gentle things alike have always left a bitter taste in her mouth…’ and I can utterly understand her motivations in that; how they remind her with such punctuation of her past lives, of her own suffering. And while I feel that is of such significance to her, I also wonder whether her thoughts will change, whether she will push herself to check if she can avoid reacting to them. Calina doesn’t like having any tells but feels she is most likely to show her hand in this case, with her immediate distaste for these extremes of character. When faced with Trinity or Maeve or anyone so firm in form, I want to see her thought process and her interactions with them developing, to a point where I can actually answer whether this is something concrete and unchangeable for her.

[The Boxer] Calina doesn’t get her hands dirty. She had far too much of that with her previous occupation, with the grime she could never quite wash away, and the stains upon her ghost. She had to be more than capable of it, however, with the life she lived. She’s only ever played at being submissive, so it stands to reason that she has confidence in her own physicality as well. Another simple idea, but I’d like to see her in training when it isn’t just about her mind; when she might be preparing herself for the worst case scenarios. After all, she can take care of herself but doesn’t usually have to.

In Depth

I hope it’s alright but I imagined the questions as taking place at different times with different people.

What is your favorite place in Verona? | “My favourite place in Verona” the words curl thoughtfully from her lips, the hint of a secret behind them. She is relaxed back into the leather chair, body soft, no angles about her.And though her elbow is propped against the arm of the chair, her wrist curves fluidly, fingertips grazing through the air, an artist with her brush relaying words. She thinks of the obvious answer, the one she knows in her bones as well as heart, the Cathedral. A lifetime passes behind her eyes as she recalls every association to her mother; the way she had whispered to the crook of Calina’s neck as she tucked her in ‘oh how I prayed for you’, the sunlight that seemed cast from heaven itself to spill across the woman’s face and lighten her in near-death ‘you have your faith and I have mine’, the sound of Calina’s words tearing from her throat in the abandoned church in Novosibirsk ‘We are all our own gods’ as the very reason for her repeated visits to the Cathedral. No matter that she didn’t believe, when it would honour her mother’s choices instead. The lifetime passes but is not betrayed in time. The perceived secret allowed only seconds to be shaped by her. “Well” she leans forward just a tad, coquettish grin on her face as her gaze scatters, both eager and uncertain of sharing such a story. The enticed and trusting tourist, with inhibitions cast away as holiday allowance. “if you promise it’s between us.” She shakes her head, sinks back in retreat, moves forward again, hand lifted and settled into her lap. All in the blink of an eye. Go on, ask me again. Force my hand. The grin is eaten by presumed uncertainty and the curve of her mouth, lips flexing and dropping, a glance at the pearls her secret is shielded behind. Pretty girl, food for the wolf. “I’d have to say the Tempest Lounge.” Oh it’s unbearable for this tentative youth, so enamoured by the interest and terrified the words might betray a scandal. Calina brings her voice to a hushed whisper, shifting her full body forward now, palms pressed against knees or brushing hair behind her ear in furious submission. “I hope that isn’t a terrible answer?” her gaze fixates on the speaker for just a second, confirmation sought, before she casts it down to her hands. “I mean, nothing too salacious has happened when I’ve been there.” her voice returns to a more reasonable volume, “And certainly I’ve never .. I wouldn’t be involved in anything so.. but I have heard rumours.” Her hands twist together, and she watches the reflection of the sun in her rings, the light of virtue. “I didn’t realise when I went first of all, so please don’t think that’s what appealed to me. I just..” a sigh of defeat, she’s making this worse. “It almost seemed the heartbeat of the city, with it’s bold lights and sounds. It made me feel less alone, less scared somehow. There’s always someone wherever you look. I really..” the tiniest huff of inhalation through her nostrils, bolstering herself against having admitted too much, this girl this dove. “I really hope my answer doesn’t reflect badly on me.”

What does your typical day look like? | “A typical day, hmm?” she tends to repeat questions back, confirmation she has been listening, fuel for the ego as way to ingratiate herself. “Shall we start with waking?” she reclines against the desk chair, busying herself with tugging her sleeves back. All business. And still she waits for confirmation, when this is not intended as negotiation- the interviewer is there for guidance and she is there for declaration. “Alright then,” she nods firmly, wrapping her hands against the arms of the chair before she continues, “I seem to have a habit of waking five minutes before my alarm.” A crease of forehead, the tensing of eyes, “Most unfortunate if you ask me, for now I’m stuck with the question of what would happen if I simply didn’t set the alarm. Would I awake as usual, body expectant of the noise? or would I be left to sleep in peace, only to later find out that I’ve wasted part of the day?” Her right pointer finger taps against the chair, the root of emphasis. A break between speaking. “And then of course there’s breakfast, rather a dull tale I’m afraid.” She corrects the straightened posture, though it has barely slipped, head inclined to the right, offering herself in half-profile to her questioner. Her lips purse mildly, expression neutral as she clutches at significant details to relay. She turns back after a moment, lips slipping from plumpness to an awkward flattening, enquiry written across her brow. “I suppose I’ll have to blanket the ideas as touristy things, when really every day I take in another sight. Not so familiar yet with the best places to spend my time.” The roll of her fingers tapping against the chair arms in order, left to right, covers the noise of exhalation as her face settles to neutrality again. “In the evenings I like to find a new eatery to try for dinner. Thankfully there’s been no true disasters yet.” The profferred facade spends the rest of the time offering the most vague overviews of the night prior to returning to her hotel room. Calina Sokolova finds joy in the idea the questioner is more bored by her answers than she is, which seems to be an incredible feat. She might never have been able to answer the question truthfully anyhow, when every day seems as different and as similar as the one before. They have not fully stepped into the breach, and still she can not call any day typical. Perhaps she could mention her morning coffee with Faron, or the way she checks in with someone new every night to subtly question them on Boris, or how she buys a single flower from the market every day and drops it from Castelvecchio by the set of the sun. Except she’s already telling so much of herself in her answers, it is not her fault that they can not see.

What are your thoughts on the war between the Capulets and the Montagues? | “Oh goodness, hit me with the hard one why dontcha” she slaps at the table, the noise reverberating in unison with her laughter. Her eyes light upon the neutral expression of the asker and perceive it as something more. Laughter subsides and energy dissipates. “Now darlin’ I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get you all upset. It’s just a bit surreal to me, ya know?” The hand that had slapped the table is led to touch it once again, this time fingers unfolding and laying flat against the wood, gliding forward in direction of the interviewer with soothing stokes of motion. “I’m here for ye if ye wanna talk about it, ‘course I am. It’s just my momma warned me about it, she didn’t want me to come here at all..” Eyes widen in sincerity, those fingerlengths tapping against the desk. “So what a fine fool I was to ignore her. Thought it was all a bunch of hooha. And then i get here and well.. you know the rest.” Her accent is still tinged as stereotypical Eastern European, but coated with a Southern lilt most likely learned from television. It’s sloppy with intent, for had she meant to pass herself off as some Southern Belle she would have done so. While the listener will question her origins and authenticity, they may not question her sincerity. “God have mercy on all their souls.” The question is not novel, but somehow still leads her to be thoughtful, long after she has left the room. Her thoughts thus far on the topic having been we will use it. She hasn’t particularly considered what she actually thinks of the war beyond how it can benefit the Spades.

In-Character Para Sample: tw for allusion to abuse, prostitution

He comes in with mouth wide and teeth bared, desperate to sink the grimiest venemous parts of himself into her, as though the balm for all his ails. She comes to hours later with purple blossoming and bones sinking to water. It is in submerging herself, with lungs burning more intensely than any other ache, that she can finally let herself wake. Calina. The moon is out still, resplendent in freedom, and she stretches her hand to it. “You’re late for shift Calina” the frantic voice of her …coworker? the frantic voice of her ..cellmate batters against her heart, jumping the rhythm and fraying her nerves, as knuckles batter against the bathroom door. Her fort breached with a warning She turns her back to the moon, afraid to gaze upon it or she will be transfixed. Scrambles to robe herself instead.

Every footstep against the stairs echoes with the force of a wardrum, or so it seems to a head so tender. In truth she is the most graceful of dancers, gentle and light in her descent. It could be that her head has prepared her for the noise, the ringing reverberations of Marda’s shriek in her ear. The one that joins the hand tugging at her hair and pulling it from scalp, the signal that she is late. “They have hands to put to use” is her reply, even when she knows it will earn her (and does) a mark of wild red across her face, and stars against her eyes. She can be grateful for the stars at least, the thought of their fellowship with she and the moon. And now she has an excuse even further than the last beast she has not recovered from. This most recent beast, the one of her choosing, has her wrist caught in vice. Calina tugs her arm away, “Marda” with name she can defeat it as Rumpelstiltskin, if only for a moment. Her hand drops to the delicate bow of her robe, just as jarringly misplaced as she, and she pulls in spite of the twinge of pain. The robe falls open, for she will not tear it asunder, and reveals her naked flesh beneath. “You may cover my face but not this.” the words lie heavy in their logic, that most of the time her face does not matter, she needs no identity.

—

It is a full hour before Marda’s grudge against her has waned enough to invoke sense. The madame bites the words and chews them before they are spat at her employee. “Swap with Yuliya, she’s not showing yet.” It is of little consequence when Marda finally permits her exit. For Calina could have easily conducted her business during her shift. Still, it settles much easier in her head as a certainty, when she has a particular assistant in mind. She is draped in wool and cotton, high neck and long sleeves to cover as much skin as possible. It may not be as questionable as she likes, so she continues to tug at her sleeves and pull them further, forming the temporary habit with every step toward the bar. She reaches the door and mentally checks the contents of her pocket, determining she has enough for one drink to nurse. She can make it last for an hour or two, secure in the idea he will appear before then. Still she lingers in the cold outside, gaze stretched to meet that of a patron or two behind the glass. It doesn’t take more than minute for one of them to open the door and guide her in. A test of her persuasion before the task. He buys her a drink and she adds two hours to her clock, just in case.

It is 32 minutes before she sees him enter. Another 16 before she takes to watching him. She isn’t dismayed he has not noticed her, for she has pressed herself against a darkened booth, arm stretching across the table for her drink, the light of the room beyond displaying her skin as the loose sleeve falls at every motion. A full hour has passed before he brushes past her booth to reach the toilets. She settles her half-full glass of vodka and apple just the right amount across the table that her sleeve will drop. Watches the hallway behind her through reflection on the tv screen. He is returning from the bathroom when she stretches her leg out from the booth, forcing him to pause before her foot. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realise someone was there.” she is still hidden in the booth, but it is he who peeks around the corner to hear her words more clearly. “Calina?” his face lights immediately, and she rewards him with confirmation. “Dima. I did not know you came here.” She doesn’t move except to draw her legs back, does not offer him invitation to sit. Still he lingers, cheeks ruddy and eyes ablaze with delight. They exchange pleasantries, and he offers tale of how often he frequents the bar, expresses confusion she has not seen him there, asks what her plans are for the evening. When sufficient time has passed to ensure he is engaged effectively, she reaches for her glass. The notion of wetting her lips and soothing her voice for the conversation. His gaze has followed every slight motion from her, as though drinking her in, this vision suddenly before him in life as well as fantasy. When her sleeve falls back to reveal the unnatural colours blotching her arm, she glances up to him. He catches her eye and she wrenches a breath from her lips, surprised, while moving swiftly to correct her mistake. She falters in grasping for the glass, almost knocking it over in her haste to cover the offending sight with her sleeve once more. A likely story.

—

When the wolf is declared missing, Calina’s only reaction is to offer Dima first choice of his regular timeslots. There is no business lost due to the clamouring of men Dima introduces her to. Three years later surprise registers when one such man does not want her for body, but offers identity instead. Faron Vasiliev is her reward for never strictly using the words ‘I want him dead’. She is his reward for ambition.

Extras: I didn’t have a chance to get to this til late, so if I do have any extras they will be posted here. Thank you so much.

#accepted #accepted: cleopatra

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