#queer infighting is like. saying that bi isnt a real identity

[cometcrystal]

the pirate poll op calling the flint vs stede drama “queer infighting”

[spnshameblog]

Tumblr lgbt discourse makes me so mad bc it makes the lives of people who are probably already insecure and have no access to a real life lgbt community so much harder than they have to be.

I've already talked about how much acecourse has fucked with my head and how it taught me to be ashamed of being ace, bc the 'jokes' and insults were so much more hurtful coming from other lgbt people.

But i havent talked about how healing real life encounters with lgbt communities are. I'm from a very small village, there are no lgbt youth groups or organisations i could join, so whenever im in a bigger city i try to seek out public lgbt spaces. I went to a lgbt centric bookshop last week and when i saw that they had a special little section for asexuality related books i was close to tears.

Online spaces, especially tumblr, have taught me that part of my identity is always going to be debated over, that there are so many people who will want to exclude me from the community, who think my identity is the perfect opportunity for them to get all snarky for clout or who think its ok to take apart my entire personality, just so they can find the one part that isnt "valid" so they can exclude me from the community. You dont know how truly damaging this is until you come to a space where youre just accepted without an extensive background check and youre like. Oh. This is what the community is supposed to be like.

And it sucks so much, bc so many people and kids will only ever experience lgbt spaces online and as great as the Internet is at bringing people together, people will say shit on here they wouldnt DARE say in real life.

Lmao imagine these silly exclusionist debate or joke posts irl. Youre in a queer space (Bar, bookshop, Coffeeshop whatever) and this heavy breathing weirdo just blasts out "i dont think asexuals should be here actually. Hahaha, theyre so weird with their cake jokes. How cringe! I think Steve rogers is an exclusionist hahaha". It wouldnt happen like that, bc most people online are cowards and if they saw the little asexuality booksection and that people were completely normal about it, they suddenly wouldnt feel all powerful and smart for making their little statements.

Anyways, i'm glad that tumblr has decided to finally calm down about acecourse, but i see a lot of other infighting like ppl forcing bi/pan conflict, pronoun discourse, people having to expose their entire personal history so that weirdoes on the Internet can decide if theyre valid or not, 'no kink at pride' or shit like transmeds and it makes me so sad.

Why are you willfully making the community a hostile space just in case you can weed out some fakes who say theyre lgbt for?? Idk?? Why would someone lie about being lgbt on tumblr? Literally what do they gain from it? The monthly payment for being gay on tumblr?

Youre not protecting anyone by being a snarky little shit, youre not fighting transphobia by making jokes about neo pronouns, youre not supporting bi people by needlessly shitting on pan people or the other way round, youre not making the community better by forcing discourse that literally nobody irl cares about. Youre just trying to look woke for bullying people.