#queer is not a slur in greek so lets not even start the discourse pls

[alatismeni-theitsa]

This might be a weird question but I’m first Generation Greek diaspora in Canada and I often feel disconnected from my culture. I have found out that I’m non-binary in some way and I want to change my name because it’s a very feminine name. However, it’s also a very Greek name, and I feel like erasing it in place of some WASP or USian name would make me feel even more disconnected from my culture. I’ve been looking online for Greek unisex name lists but they always have names that no Greek actually has or are not unisex. I know that we have a problem with naming people the same thing, I think like 50% of the Greek girls I meet are named Maria or some variant of it, but I have met some cool names people. Still, I want to choose a name that reflects my culture and my identity and I haven’t come out to my family yet so I can’t ask them. Anyways, I was just wondering if you could think of any off the top of your head or if you could recommend a baby name list. Sorry if this is hard I don’t mean to stress you out, I just don’t have many people who I can talk to about Greek culture

Hi! Perhaps you could go with Χάρις which is feminine but also sounds like Χάρης, the masculine name. ;) Or some other modern Greek names that end in -ις. (Which.... tbh I can't think of anything atm 😂) But feel free to check some and come back to ask if you can use them nowadays.

I am not non-binary and I don't have the energy or time to go to queer Greek spaces although I belong there 😅 This is to say that I am not aware of any solution that the Greek ΛΟΑΤΚΙ+ community has found for this. And that anyone who knows what's going on can fill us in.

The explanation/context:

It's true that Greek names are gendered so I cannot find anything from the top of my mind to suggest :/ I was about to suggest some more "powerful" Greek names (like Alexandra) but that would also suggest that there are "masculine" and "feminine" traits that belong only to a certain gender. I don't want to imply that war or physical power is strictly a "masculine" thing ya know, or that a "Maria" is automatically feminine and cannot be assertive or even fire a gun. Traits don't have "feminine" and "masculine" vibes to me, they are just human traits. After all, Greek women are known for their resilience and toughness, the ability to terrify anyone with merely a stare and a slipper/stick, and their fierceness when they make it into military ranks.

Tbh I think Greeks experience being non-binary beyond names. Names can be irrelevant. E.g. you can have a feminine or a masculine name and still be non-binary. English speakers often make a fuss about what names are masculine and feminine but I haven't seen Greeks care much about it. Greeks don't argue about what names are "more feminine". That's not how we see names and that's not how we connect them with gender. No one cares if they call you Melina and you have 100 piercings and ride a motorcycle. So in this society there's no thought to get rid of your name if it doesn't "match" your actions or basic expression.

Ofc you can change your name for whatever reason. I am only speaking on the Greek mindset about names and gender. The Greek non-binary people I've met in Greece go by their gendered baptism names. In online spaces only they go by English names, or just by their initials, as the English trend is.

Sometimes I also suspect that there are differences between what feels non-binary for a Greek and what feels non-binary for a Canadian. I might be completely wrong here, but I am letting this thought out there to see if there are indeed different perspectives. For example, I've felt a difference between local queerness in some cases, like when USians see a Greek woman with "αγορέ" short hair and...average person movements (not feminine or masculine I mean, just a person existing), and immediately switch to "they/them". Meanwhile for Greek society this person naturally falls into the "default woman" category and we wouldn't see any reason to not use she/her. (I'm talking about cases where the person also doesnt say anywhere that they are non-binary or that they use they/them pronouns.)

In aaaaany case, our societal norms, our histories, and presentations are not the same and for this reason I also applaud your decision to choose a name that reflects your culture and identity. As people we are a mix of many things and our characteristics carry a cultural flavour.

Given all this, and driven by practicality, I would say that it would be better to go with a feminine name (because of your physical presentation) but choose whatever feels better for you. Don't think of Greek names for females as "more or less" feminine, since that's not the Greek way of thinking.

More suggestions:

You can choose a name that honours your values, or a characteristic that you want to have or you are proud that you have. You can choose names that express concepts, like "wisdom" (Σοφία), "love" (Αγάπη), "freedom" (Ελευθερία/Ρία), "hope" (Ελπίδα), "salvation" (Σωτηρία), "reign" (Βασιλεία), "happy/beloved" (Ασπασία), grace (Χάρις).

Just because these words are feminine, it doesn't mean that they are feminine traits. They are feminine GRAMMATICALLY. Something that English speakers might not understand is that gendered language doesn't mean that you assign gender to things. Heck, even the chair is a feminine noun in Greek but no one suggests there's any feminine about a chair 😂"Dick" (yes the genitals) can also be a feminine word. (η πούτσα) Like, the feminine pronoun doesn't mean anything.

Sure, the connection between names and sex is strong in Greek, but not in the sense English speakers (or people who speak neutral-gender languages) might think. We can recognise Greek sexism and separatism but at the same time I think it's important to understand that each society sees different traits in the sexes and genders.

You could also choose names like "farmer" (Γιωργία, to suggest that you like to work the earth), or the name of some Greek goddess, or some Greek saint to show that you have their attributes. Or the name of an empress, or the name of an emperor but in its feminine version (e.g. Κωνσταντίνα). Maybe the name of a Muse, if you are a creative.

That's it from me 💙 Sorry to have delayed this answer but I needed to think a lot, and life doesn't let me think or answer to asks a lot these days. I hope I managed to help even a little bit.

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As I said, I am not non-binary, and I don't want to speak over non-binary people. I am answering this because you said that you don't have lots of people to talk about these things, and perhaps it's better to have someone queer say some stuff about it. As always, more opinions are welcome in the comments and reblogs. I don't have all the knowledge in the world.