#rajanilog

[coralcaliph-blog]

LIFERA: -The weeks have been long and busy -- as they might be expected during war times. It wasn't as often as she would like that she had her adviser nearby, but at least Rajani put forth the kind of effort she couldn't have expected from her last one, and that in itself seemed somewhat reassuring. Of course, she hadn't eliminated distrust of her; she knew very well that Rajani was likely to possess some sort of ulterior motive, with as long as she had been dealing with those that did, but as long as she helped her find her son and get them through the war, she could overlook it. For now, she just wanted to meet with her again, face-to-face, in a place they could properly discuss things without worry of interception, and so she waited in the meeting room alone.- RAJANI: -at the request 0f lifera, rajani m0ved swiftly t0ward the meeting r00m after returning fr0m her trip t0 l0cas. these meetings, h0wever sp0ntane0us they may be, are crucial t0 attend. this j0b, als0 crucial. as she walks 0n in, she n0ds at lifera and b0ws her head respectfully- y0ur c0ns0lati0n. LIFERA: -She smiles widely, her image nigh-flawlessly intact despite the circumstances -- one of many things she keeps a constant tight grip on.- Rajani. I heard your trip went SMOOT)(LY? RAJANI: yes. n0thing 0ut 0f the 0rdinary. -she's 0bserving lifera, studying her discreetly as she d0es f0r signs 0f any changes whats0ever.- it's g00d t0 be back. LIFERA: Mmm. LIFERA: It could be betta. RAJANI: what's the pr0blem? LIFERA: I thought you shoald know I took your advice with Lauctis. The terms we all agreed upon are W)(AL-E underway now. But I thought I should make shore their shipments aren't being intercepted. Do you think we can spare enough ships to keep an eye on their travels? RAJANI: y0u have a right t0 be c0ncerned in this situati0n. RAJANI: in the case 0f an intercepti0n, it's necessary that y0u send 0ut the ships y0u are willing t0 l0se. RAJANI: but als0 the 0nes y0u feel will stand a chance against 0pp0siti0n 0f any kind. LIFERA: -she shifts in her chair- Fair -ENOUG)(. LIFERA: I'll make arrangements tomorrow. RAJANI: a ch0ice well-made. LIFERA: -huffs a little- We still haven't heard word on the Umbral Ultimatum. LIFERA: But there's no fishtailing whether or not ALT-ERNIA has, and that is what worries me. RAJANI: it d0esn't surprise me. LIFERA: Yes, I suppose. LIFERA: I don't blame them for hiding. RAJANI: they have pr0ven t0 be incredibly elusive despite the circumstances. LIFERA: They are not TOTALLY incarpable, it seams. LIFERA: -They were never that incapable to begin with, but she's still somewhat SEA SALTY.- RAJANI: i didn't peg them t0 be as capable as they are appearing. LIFERA: I don't think most did, after... LIFERA: The )(-EIR incident on -Earth. LIFERA: -purses lips- LIFERA: It does not comfort me that I have things to be FINV-EST-ED in among them presently. RAJANI: the m0re we d0n't hear ab0ut them, the m0re we can believe in their safety. LIFERA: -she shifts a little, fins pinning back for a moment- RAJANI: in the safety 0f kankri, m0st imp0rtantly. LIFERA: I... suppose. LIFERA: Then I should hope not to hear anything at all. LIFERA: -she's clearly not very into that idea, with the way she's frowning at the table. the things she cared about that they had before didn't turn out so well, and now she has to relent any control at all, any power. it goes against all her better instincts.- RAJANI: what is b0thering y0u? LIFERA: -what isn't? but she can't say so much.- I can't relfish a relatively NOVIC-E group looking after my son while being quite literally hunted. LIFERA: Again, fate is just UP IN T)(-E AIR. LIFERA: -She said again, and that annoys her. She frowns a little more.- RAJANI: but we are d0ing everything in 0ur p0wer. and y0u have maintained and created an empire that c0ntains everything that alternia lacks. RAJANI: and that is 0ur advantage. it will c0ntinue t0 be 0ur advantage. LIFERA: -Everything it lacks, except Meenah. She can't helping thinking it, and it's every day. They stole her for good, this time.- LIFERA: ... I had hoped -Earth would cooperate. LIFERA: They haven't been responding very positively. RAJANI: n0, they have n0t. but they are als0 incredibly dis0rganized as a wh0le. RAJANI: lauctis, i believe, is the better ally. LIFERA: I don't undersand what they're WADING for. They're not like Lauctis, where they can potentially sit out the war for now. That S)(-E'S alive presents a very real threat for them. LIFERA: It makes me wonder if she has not been BUSY while she was gone. RAJANI: yes, but we kn0w that right n0w we have the tw0 str0ngest allies. RAJANI: earth is n0thing in c0mparis0n. RAJANI: we can take 0n the alternian empire as it is. RAJANI: y0u are a much str0nger leader than y0u give y0urself credit f0r. LIFERA: -it's unusual to hear that sort of thing -- not only that she is capable of something, but capable where it counts. it's something she has had to assure herself of while time and again others tried to wrestle what power they could from her, or disagreed with her choices entirely. but hearing it from someone else, without quite the same trappings of flattery as most, almost makes her uncomfortable LIFERA: for the way it feels -- something almost genuine -- and her fins flutter a little.- LIFERA: Yes. LIFERA: But I'm keeping an -EY-E on them. RAJANI: as y0u sh0uld. RAJANI: we must always be aware. LIFERA: -she leans forward a little in her chair, taking this opportunity to redirect some of the attention off of herself- Speaking of which -- did you learn much of FINT-ER-EST while you were out? RAJANI: n0t much new regarding 0ur situati0n. i have a few new p0ssible leads t0 getting s0mething 0f use. RAJANI: y0u understand h0w it is.

[coralcaliph-blog]

LIFERA: -Her room was quiet. The meeting would not be so, but neither would she for much longer. She paced her room slowly -- slow if only for the intensity of her rage and how, for now, she tried to tame it. She had called for Rajani almost out of habit, as one of the few people she spoke to (mostly) honestly and with any amount of frequency. She chose not to think beyond that. Tonight, she certainly couldn't.- RAJANI: -she's been at the ready, waiting to be called by lifera for one reason or another. she wastes no time in entering lifera's room, an action which she would defend as keeping up her act when her mind considers it genuine. she's without words when she enters, but then again, she knows she doesn't need to have them. so she stands, and she waits.- LIFERA: -she hears Rajani enter, sees her out of the corner of her eye, but she can't bring herself to look directly at her. After a silence where she knows the door is shut, that Rajani is waiting, she speaks, fists balled at her sides.- LIFERA: Ramiel is a glubbing SQUIDIOT. RAJANI: you are supp0sed t0 be allies. RAJANI: and yet this was a s0litary decisi0n. LIFERA: You know, I R-E-ELY thought-- LIFERA: No, the worst thing aboat this is that I'm not even surfprised. )(OW CAN I B----E? It wasn't as if I didn't already know he was a bloodthirsty douchefin, but no-- LIFERA: I just. )(ad to think that we could be a T-EAM with something. LIFERA: That he wouldn't screw us over with his STUPID POW-ER PLAYS! LIFERA: )(e can't undersand how important -Earth is to Beforus, and I trusted-- -she takes a deep breath, pausing for a moment- Just becraws -Earth was taking a while to side with us too, he decides, W-ELL I'LL JUST MAK-E T)(-EM. LIFERA: What does he want me to say to that?? GOOD JOB?? GR-EAT GLUBBING WORK PUS)(ING WARFAR-E TO THE INT-ERGALACTIC SCAL-E ALR-EADY??? RAJANI: -she listens, allowing lifera to finish before even daring to speak up again. she needs to get this out; rajani understands that. it benefits everyone involved. lifera has a chance to expel some verbal energy and she's less likely to do something she'll later regret. and with rajani, at least it's a safe place -- safe being objective- RAJANI: it was s0mething he certainly sh0uld have included y0u 0n. RAJANI: he is n0t the brightest if he c0mpletely disregarded y0ur reacti0n. LIFERA: NO. )(-E ISN'T. LIFERA: But that's who he is! A stupid man-of-warmonger! LIFERA: BAR-ELY any betta than Alternia, but at L-EAST I knew he would leave us alone. LIFERA: Then he just had to pull a stunt like this. -sits on her bed- And everyone thinks we're in on it. And I have to fix it. LIFERA: I don't even know where to start, but I'd like to start with punching his doofish FAC-E IN. LIFERA: MAYB-E T)(-EN )(-E WOULD G-ET T)(-E PICTUR-E, B-ECAUSE VIOL-ENC-E IS APPAR-ENTLY TH-E ONLY LANGUAG-E )(-E SP-EAKS!! RAJANI: sadly we d0 n0t have the res0urces to deservedly punch him in the face at this m0ment. -rajani's attempts at jokes are always terrible, and always delivered so deadpan it's difficult to identify them. this is one of those instances- RAJANI: d0 y0u believe this is w0rth y0ur allegiance? LIFERA: -Somehow, the joke makes her snort anyway. SADLY INDEED. You get her, Rajani.- LIFERA: I don't know. I'm not sure it matters anymoor. LIFERA: This is going to spill onto us no matter W)(AT, and ditching -Europa is just one less back to fight against. LIFERA: As much as I )(AT-E to say it. RAJANI: and what d0 y0u supp0se w0uld happen if y0u v0iced y0ur disappr0val? LIFERA: -sigh- Nothing monumantal. )(e can't exactly go up to the humans and say OOPS! And he's shore not going to sea the point in stopping now that he's started. LIFERA: I just want to separate Beforus from this as much as I can. If he thinks we're kelping him fight, he's got another thing coming. RAJANI: but what if y0u publicly v0iced your disappr0val? LIFERA: Yeah. That's what I need to do. LIFERA: It's just so... FRUSTRATING. RAJANI: I kn0w. but y0ur frustrati0n can be used to y0ur benefit. the pe0ple will be listening t0 y0u, and so many p0liticians make empty ap0l0gies. but y0u have an advantage, a chance t0 make them believe what y0u're saying. because y0u mean it. and restraining y0ur feelings ab0ut this w0uld 0nly make y0u appear the 0pp0site 0f genuine. LIFERA: -she's quiet for a long moment as she considers this- I want my people to B-ER-E-EF in what I'm doing, but then this happens. LIFERA: They're probubbly devastated, and OUTRAG-ED. -Earth is part of our ID-ENTITI-ES now, and I feel like my people are never going to buy any excuse for attacking it, or for siding with -Europa about it. LIFERA: -sighs again- You think they would be willing to listen that Alternia is the bigger anemone right now? I just fish I had a better way of showing that. I don't want my words to seam empty. RAJANI: -looks at her seriously- y0u say the bef0rans are devastated and 0utraged, but have you c0nsidered that s0 are y0u? RAJANI: i think y0ur best sh0t at having y0ur 0wn pe0ple believe y0u is by sh0wing that y0u feel the same as they d0. f0cus 0n rebuilding and rectifying what has been br0ken. be c0nfused. be betrayed. that's what y0u feel and that's what y0u are. y0ur best bet in keeping the allegiance 0f y0ur pe0ple is by being 0ne 0f them. RAJANI: when they're c0nvinced y0u're still 0ne 0f them, then they will listen. LIFERA: -she's quiet again. It's difficult to consider this; her time has been largely spent crafting images, remaining composed, making executive decisions without everyone necessarily knowing why for what she believed was the greater good. But now what she needed to do was expose herself in front of everyone, in a way she never had before? The thought was more than frightening. The thought of how other nobles would react was, too. It contradicted everything she had ever been taught, told to herself. She could only be so genuine.- LIFERA: -She looks up at Rajani, takes in a breath.- I think... that I need to practice. RAJANI: y0u can practice with me. i might kn0w a thing or tw0. -she knows how incredibly hypocritical she's being, but this far in a lie, it's easy for even rajani to believe herself. Her expression grows slightly sympathetic and she approaches lifera, looking down- y0u can make this w0rk. LIFERA: -It's odd to see Rajani look this way -- to look much of any way at all, in fact -- and seeing it now does something to Lifera. She isn't sure what. Maybe it has to do with the fact that she is used to people trying too hard for what they want, or only ever giving her too little. Even those close to her, never quite close enough. Never quite siding with her. Never staying long. Lifera looks away for a moment. It's too difficult to say while looking her in the eyes.- LIFERA: ... I used to be afraid that I would die before I could accomplish anything. LIFERA: But now I'm afraid to see... sweeps and sweeps ahead of me, with nothing but... disaster and loss to show for it. LIFERA: -finally, she stands again, swallows, and looks at Rajani.- Do you really want to stand with me? RAJANI: -when lifera stands, rajani watches her, keeping her gaze there. it's odd, also, what she's feeling right now. in her opinion, she's feeling too much for her position. but she maintains her composure and nods- i'm already 0n y0ur side, aren't i? LIFERA: I hope so, -she says, and it's a little too honest. She reaches out carefully, resting her hand on Rajani's shoulder.- LIFERA: I would like that. RAJANI: -she doesn't dare to glance down at the hand on her shoulder, making this all just a little too real for her to handle. everything inside of her is contradicting itself. Every part of her is lying and then the truth of the lie is warring against her own mind. But her expression softens just a bit more, voice quiet- me t00. LIFERA: -It doesn't feel right to keep standing here just like this, but at the same time, she is afraid to do anything else. She remembers Tyrena and how she pulled away like Lifera's touch burned her, and she wonders if Rajani would leave. But she doesn't want to think so. It couldn't hurt too much to imagine otherwise, could it? If only for now. Finally, she steps closer, close enough to lean against her and slide that arm around Rajani's shoulders and exhale a breath too heavy to carry anymore.- RAJANI: -She knows this is crossing a line, she knows this isn't what she planned on getting herself into. Everything she does needs a reason, and so when Rajani wraps her arms around Lifera, she had to justify it. For the rebellion, for retrieving information. Having a more intimate relationship with Lifera meant knowing more, meant being more.- we will make sure this turns 0ut all right.